xenia elizabeth

I have gained a new blog reader. My son. Over the course of our road trip, he realized I was keeping a blog, discovered that in my blog I occasionally wrote about him. A new refrain in my life: "Mom, when are you going to do your blog?!?!"

Strange to think of him as part of my audience. I thought when I finally dealt with the weirdness of my parents seeing my artwork and reading my writing that I'd arrived at the point of not censoring myself.

skin to skin by gardenymph

It has been nearly six weeks since we returned from our trip to Texas. Jennifer had her baby boy Elliott Paul nearly two three (!) weeks ago.

holden & simon, by the pool by xenia elizabeth

Holden and Simon have both started school. Holden and Simon have Skyped with each other, giving each other the classic boy close-up views of eyeballs, nostrils, and open mouths.

Simon has caught the first cold of the school year.

I still have mounds of photos from our trip to post publicly to Flickr.

School starting season always feels insurmountable to me. The inevitable conflicts with frustrated students and colleagues--not to mention the workload of classes, supervising student workers, and serving on numerous committees--can make me want to escape to bed with a book and stay there.

Escaping to bed with The Shock Doctrine (as I have been doing lately) is probably not the best way to avoid or lessen the beginning-of-the-school-year depression, but I can't help it. I first heard about the book last spring when I began watching clips of The Rachel Maddow Show online during the whole Scott Walker debacle.



It is a forceful book. Its main thesis is that totally free-market ideology can only be made into reality through force. She chronicles the stories of South America in the 70s, Russia in the 90s, Iraq after 9/11, Sri Lanka and the other nations in southeastern Asia after the 2005 tsunami, and New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. The book makes me feel like crying, like sinking. I can know that we are living in a global corporatist society, but reading the details brings the truth closer. One wonders if there is any power greater than greed.

susan mikula & rachel maddow

So I have become a fan of Naomi Klein, and an even bigger fan of Rachel Maddow. I haven't watched television for years, but we actually subscribed to cable and bought a TV. Partly to have a good screen to watch Netflix movies on, but also because I am loving the fact that there is a smart, funny, female anchor on cable. There is hope.

Part of my fascination with Maddow is how much she reminds me of my grad school mentor. And the fact that Maddow's partner is a artist/photographer. Plus I like exposing my son to smart, funny women and good liberal rhetoric.

We watched last week's Republican debate and Obama's jobs speech. What a difference in tone between those two events.

In addition to struggling with the back-to-school difficulties and the politics of the day, I'm also in the middle of my path toward getting off Effexor. I have been taking Effexor for close to 11 years. I have been on several other anti-depressants and Lamictal, too, and have successfully come off Paxil and Lamictal in the past few years.


Over the past nine months, I have lowered my Effexor dose from 300 mg per day to about 135 mg per day, though I am currently contemplating going back up to 150 mg. I have made this reduction by removing 20 granules (by opening up the capsule and counting individual pieces) of the Effexor every week. The only side effects I experienced were occasional nightmares and night sweating that are familiar to me from when I have missed a dose of Efffexor in the past.

Here's a good article by Bruce Stutz of the New York Times: Self Nonmedication.

I thought, up until the past few weeks, "This is pretty easy. As long as I take it slowly, I can do this."

It's not feeling so easy right now.




Along with the Effexor reduction, I've been reading about and (mostly) following a low-carb/paleo-style diet. I know there are many ways food creates and manipulates the body and mind. I could write much about this; but, for now, I'll leave it with a link to a smart, interesting blog called Evolutionary Psychiatry.  The woman who writes the blog is Emily Deans, MD. An excerpt:

Basic Premise and Various Disclaimers
My overarching theory is that our bodies and brains do best in conditions for which they are evolved.  I dig up scientific information and present it in that context.  I may not be right, and that's okay too.  However, I feel that by studying evolutionary medicine, we come closer to the answers for optimal conditions for health and vitality. The basics of evolutionary medicine are simple:  don't eat very much fructose, omega-6 rich industrial vegetable oils, grains (such as wheat, rye, barley, spelt, quinoa, oats, corn, etc.), or processed "fake" food in general.  Eat as much local, farmstand, grassfed, pastured, wild-caught as you care for.  That's vegetables, meat, fish, nuts, eggs, fruits, and high-fat dairy, red wine, and dark dark chocolate in moderation.  Also, get plenty of sleep and play.  While a very healthy diet can be mostly plant-based, I do contend that it is exceedingly difficult to get by on a strict vegan diet due to lack of B12, zinc, phospholipids, K2, poor omega 6 to 3 ratio, and other issues. 

We keep working on all this.

Today, we spent a few hours driving back roads to Colfax and finding garage sales. Simon found a Morgan dollar in beautiful condition for a good price. I found a $2.00 large antique photograph of a young girl, a box of Kodak black and white 35mm film (expired 1966), two rolls of developed 120 negatives that were rolled up and stuck together in an old film box, and a lime green winter coat.

Also shot this photo, which totally belies my mood for the afternoon, which is probably the best reason for posting it.

pink trailer by xenia elizabeth

seeing howard johnson

As we were heading out of Shenandoah Wednesday morning, we got to the intersection at the post office and I tried to tell Charles to stop, let me out, I've got to get out. I couldn't get my words out very well. What I was trying to say was, "That's Howard Johnson!"

Howard was one of my best friends when I worked at the Chamber of Commerce in Shenandoah when Simon was little. Howard was good friends with my boss Dan (they had grown up together). Howard owned a men's clothing store in Shen until 1997. He knows the town--its history, its funny stories, its secrets--like probably no other person there.

He would come into the Chamber just to hang out. And tell stories. I love his stories.

It's my fault for not keeping in better contact with him since I moved to Wisconsin. This time, as we were leaving, he said, "Don't wait nine more years. I'm 78!"

You can tell by my smile in the photo Charles took (above) how much I love that man.

He told us about seeing the Sidney Rodeo the day/night before and how it's his last time doing it. "I'm done," he said. The rodeo is a tradition that goes back years and years, and each year gets smaller with fewer people attending. He said they were there about 12 hours, but the parade "lasted 20 minutes," and two of the four queen candidates had trouble getting on their horses. That the best show there was a group of young guys from Wisconsin doing motorcycle stunts.

He got to tell the story to Simon (that I had just told him days ago) about his kids stealing everything they could from Howard Johnson hotels.

deer, county road J20 (southwest Iowa)

We found three dead fawns right in a row on county road J20 near Bushville, Iowa (about nine miles south of Corning). I am heartbroken with every deer I find, but mangled fawns are even more difficult to face.

We turned north on highwy 49, driving through Lenox and Prescott, in order to meet my nephew Craig in Greenville. He recently returned from a year in Afghanistan and was heading down to spend time with my dad. I'm glad we were able to connect on the road. We spent at least an hour in the park (in the shade) visiting and looking at many of his photos from where he was stationed.

After seeing Craig, Charles and Simon tried out Hardee's, yet another burger joint. Simon rated it below Culver's, P. Terry's, and In-N-Out, but above Wendy's, Burger King, and McDonald's.

We stopped to see my sister Joy and her daughter Anada (and their big, sweet dog Louise) in Norwalk. It was a short visit, but still good (she had made Simon chicken and dumplings, so he ate some of those, too).

Norwalk/Des Moines are still less than halfway home, so we convinced ourselves to get back in the car and ride.

Simon had been looking forward to the halfway point stop between Dad's and home, which is an antique store in Story City. He remembered looking at the coins last time we stopped. He purchased a 1963 peso and several wheat pennies.

It's a routine drive the rest of the way. We know it well. We did decide to take the Rochester direction so we could eat at El Carambas--one of the best Mexican restaurants we know. Shrimp Tostadas for me.

The final photo of the trip was the iPhone one of the Welcome to Wisconsin sign, as we came over the bridge from Wabasha, Minnesota:

welcome to wisconsin (just over the wabasha-nelson bridge)

Like always, it's difficult to write just how good it was to get home and see our kitties coming to the door to greet us. It was about 10:30 pm, so Charles and I got out the flashlight to scope out how much the flowers and vegetables had grown.

Difficult to put into words, too, how good it was to see friends not seen for 10 or more years, to meet Simon's brother, to watch them in action. Meeting Holden, Simon said, was "worth two thousand dollars!"

hibiscus in bloom (shenandoah, iowa)

Tuesday morning Charles and I took a walk around Shenandoah, despite climbing heat index numbers. We stayed in the shade when we could and it felt good to the leg muscles to walk, not just sit. We fed a little black lab some ice cubes and gave him some affection, too. Babies and puppies, says Charles, the things Mom (I) love/s.

Another stay put day. Anxious to get home, but glad not to drive/ride all day, and happy to see my sister Allyson and her two children, Maria and Sawyer. Also got a surprise visit from my good friend Beth. I'm glad she knocked on my dad's door and interrupted Charles' and my nap. We had good conversation and she came later to Allyson's for supper and play time with the kids. She lived with my family for four years during high school, so talking with her and Ally upstairs after supper was lovingly familiar.

dinner at ally's

I absolutely loved it when Sawyer asked me (when he was done with supper, and I was working on my coffee), "come to the toy room." We had to have him come look at how much coffee was left in my cup and tell him when it was empty I would come play. He stayed until he could see the bottom of the cup. Then he and I played ball. He turned three in June. This visit was the most he's opened up to me. Babies (three-year-old nephews included) and puppies. And dead deer, roadside memorials, and cemeteries.

While Allyson, Beth, and I talked upstairs, Simon played Zombie with the two little ones. We kept them up way past their bedtime.

grampy playing memory with sawyer & maria

24 hours to go on Road Trip 2011.

roadside memorial, highway 400 (southeast of mccune, kansas)

Tonight is our third night home and I have to complete blogging about the last three days of our trip before its details sink into the big picture of one hot, long ride.

Charles started the day with a three-mile walk in Parsons before Simon and I even got up. He came back in drenched clothes.

I had another Subway breakfast while the three of us watched some nice graffiti go by on the Union Pacific train. Then we headed east on highway 400, where we found the above memorial southeast of McCune. About five miles east of Cherokee, we turned north on 169, drove through Pittsburgh, and then stopped at Fort Scott at the Fort Scott National Cemetery.

fort scott national cemetery (fort scott, kansas)

69 took us all the way to the southern suburbs of Kansas City, and one of them (Simon had already figured out) had a Culver's (Simon's favorite restaurant of all time). Simon and Charles ate lunch there; by that time I was up to my ears in french fries and diet Coke and was saving room for the homemade spring rolls my Aunt Elizabeth promised me would be served at her house in Liberty, Missouri.

I haven't seen Elizabeth since my mother's funeral in April, 2008. It was shortly after that when she (Elizabeth) was diagnosed with breast cancer as well. When we walked into her house, she was sitting on the couch in her sun room with her great granddaughter lying next to her.

aunt elizabeth's (liberty, missouri)

It was good to see her, my uncle JC, their son Tommy and daughter-in-law Sharon, granddaughter Elizabeth, and her seven-month old baby. We enjoyed the spring rolls with peanut sauce and catching up. Simon was a six-year-old when she last saw him.

Elizabeth showed us some of the photos she had of the Boykin family (her and my mom's side). Charles shot a few of the older ones with his digital camera so we could have copies.

boykin family, c. 1960

My Dad's house is about 2 and a half hours from Liberty. And it feels so much like home to me that it was the next closest thing. If we can't make it to Menomonie, at least we can make it to southwest Iowa.

The Missouri River flooding has caused the major interstate and state highway to close, so there was lighter traffic than usual on I-29 up from Kansas City, and heavier traffic on 59, which has become the detour for north-south travelers.

Found one deer close to the Missouri/Iowa line and as I was photographing it, a guy came up on an ATV asking if I had hit it. This is the second time I've been asked this, as if the only reason I might photograph a dead deer is if I'd been the one to kill it. The first time was by a policeman. I don't even know who this person was. He stayed there the whole time I was trying to shoot, which is annoying to say the least. How do you explain to someone you do this all the time?

deer, highway 59 (south of fairfax, missouri)

Just over four miles into Iowa we found a memorial. It was glowing in the low sun.

roadside memorial, highway 59 (south of shenandoah, iowa)

So wonderful to make it to my Dad's and give him hugs. We ate our first sweet corn of the season for supper.

middle boggy battle cemetery (atoka, oklahoma)

Many miles to cover today (about 360) and I think we all have the "let's get home" feeling. There were miles of big box stores and suburbs coming out of the Dallas area. We were not sad to leave there.
It was hard to believe how dry it was in Oklahoma. Walking through the cemetery, we crunched through the burnt, brown grass. There was no green to be had.


I started taking photos of the car's thermometer when it reached 104 degrees. 111 was the highest. So hot and dry. We passed one small fire in the median. Charles said one of the scary things about the drive today was the sign that said, "Do Not Drive Into Smoke."

As we drove into Kansas, the landscape started looking a little greener and the grass was not quite as crispy underfoot. It also felt like we were making the transition from the South to the Midwest, slowly. The land, trees, and architecture feeling more familiar.

oklahoma/kansas border

all saints cemetery (liberty, kansas)

As we neared tonight's destination, we watched clouds darken and approach for about an hour, but the rain never developed, at least like we thought it might here where we're staying in Parsons. The dark sky and golden ground made a dramatic and lovely picture, lightning included.

stormy sky, southeast kansas

We had supper at Braum's (a burger and ice cream joint)--not too much choice in this town, especially when the Mexican restaurant with rave reviews is closed on Sunday.

After eating, we found Oakwood Cemetery, in which 375 Civil War veterans are buried in Antietam Circle. I shot several images with my Lomo LC-A+ on a tripod.

oakwood cemetery (parsons, kansas)

oakwood cemetery (parsons, kansas)

oakwood cemetery (parsons, kansas)

holden & simon, quack's

This morning, Holden and Simon got to wrestle some more on the hotel bed before we headed out to pick up Loring and walk to Quack's for coffee and breakfast (vegan double chocolate muffins! and iced coffee).

And one more stop at Loring and Holden's house for more photos and videos and good-byes. Again, hard to leave, but good to have been here.

dallas, texas

The drive today was uneventful, unless you call Dallas traffic interesting.

We stopped at the Sixth Floor Museum when we drove into the city, but they wanted $39 for the three of us to go in. We decided to visit the contemporary art museum instead, which was showing "Rest in Power," by the graffiti crew Sour Grapes. There was also the photo exhibition, "Man with Banana" by Juergen Teller. One of my favorite images in the show was of Bjork and her son.

bjork and son by juergen teller

One of Simon's interests this past year has been food. He has read Fast Food Nation, watched the movie, and watched Supersize Me a gazillion times. So one of the places he wanted to eat on the trip was In-N-Out Burger. We got our chance tonight. In-N-Out opened in Dallas only about a month ago. There were two policeman directing traffic into the drive-thru lanes and we stood in line outside the restaurant to get in to order. Beyond crowded. Simon gets anxious in situations with so many people, but we convinced him that it was worth it for the experience, especially since he had wanted to go there.

simon, in-n-out burger (dallas, texas)

I can't say eating in that kind of clamor was super pleasant or relaxing, but the food was good, and they treat their employees well, and it's nice to see a place like that receiving business.

Back at the hotel, Simon took a quick dip in the pool and the two of us relaxed in the whirlpool for a few minutes.

Never ending news on the debt ceiling repeats on the television.

Simon has already sent Holden an email with pictures of our kitties.

holden & simon, with peace dollars

Our one day of staying. No driving today except around Austin.

First thing Friday was finding Holland Photo Imaging, where I dropped off many, many rolls of 120 and 35mm film. They do E-6 processing and there were a number of rolls I didn't want to have to cross-process, which is the only thing Sharp Photo in Eau Claire can do. The two guys working were way on my side when I told Charles not to listen to how much it was going to cost to develop the film from the trip so far. "It looks better," one of them said. They are going to ship out the negatives and scans on Monday; hopefully I'll have images to work on soon after arriving back home.




Simon, of course, told Holden about Culver's, his favorite restaurant that's based in Wisconsin. Holden responded with the suggestion to go to P. Terry's, Austin's response to Fast Food Nation. They even make their own veggie burgers.


After lunch, we drove to Capitol Coin & Bullion, where Charles, Loring, and I spent about an hour watching the boys ooh and aahh over wheat pennies and peace dollars. They both found some coins for their collections; Simon even got his first peace dollar.

It was Charles to the rescue after that, who agreed to watch the boys at the hotel pool, while I had a nap and Loring at least got to rest, if not totally get to sleep. After waking up, I swam with the boys for a while, getting some Holga shots and listening and watching them try to escape from the monster yellow jacket buzzing around the pool.

We went back to get Loring and had an amazing supper at one of her and Holden's favorite places, Mother's. A vegetarian, mostly Mexican restaurant. My first real salad of the trip. Green food! With cashew tamari dressing. I am going to have to find a version of that to make at home. Charles had artichoke enchiladas and Simon had a baked potato. Holden got Simon's white bean soup that Simon wasn't especially fond of.

barton springs at night by brain wheeler

After supper, we went to Loring's "favorite place in Austin," the Barton Springs pool. What a perfect place to end the day. From 9 - 10 pm, admission is free. The pool is fed by underground springs and is about 71 degrees in the summer. Cold. But beautiful, especially at night. We walked to the shallow end to look for minnows, tried to keep the boys from splashing us, and met a four-year-old girl named Daisy who was eating the green plants in the pool because someone told her it was mermaid salad.

Then we took the nature trail up to the diving boards and plunged in. I got to make the jump once before the 10 o'clock whistle blew, signaling the pool was closing. Then Simon and I swam across the deepest part of the pool to the stairs on the opposite side.

Holden and Simon got to have chocolate cake with strawberries and whipped cream before bed. They both talked in their sleep, especially Simon (who yelled in his sleep much of the night, probably due to being to tired and excited). This was, of course, after the tickling and wrestling in bed before Charles and I had to curtail all that boy wildness.

simon & charles, waffle house (longview, texas)

I told Simon and Charles that we'd have to eat at a Waffle House at least once while we were in the South. Thursday morning ended up being the time. I'm glad Nevin was with us; she was one I was often with when I'd eat at Waffle House in South Carolina or while traveling in the South.

Charles even tried the grits. Nevin said we'd have to eat the good kind: shrimp and grits, in New Orleans, next time we make the trip. It's easier to say good-bye to friends when you're planning on the next time before you leave.

roadside memorial, highway 79 (north of new baden, texas)

The drive from Longview to Austin seemed to take forever. We drove highway 79 almost the whole way. It was scary. A two-lane road with a speed limit of 70. No wonder there were 15 or more roadside memorials. We stopped to shoot them when we could. It was so hot and the traffic was so loud and fast that I worked quickly, not so much enjoying the process as doing it because it was what I do as an artist.

We also found one dead (perhaps wild) pig and two deer.

deer, highway 79 (northeast of easterly, texas)

railroad crossing, shelton road (bastrop, louisiana)

Falling behind on a blog can mean a good thing: that the days have been so full I've been too exhausted to post at the end of them. Tonight, we're in Richardson, Texas (the north end of Dallas), catching up on some rest and while Simon and Charles get to sleep, I'm adding some days to the blog.

Wednesday morning we went first to Shelton Road in Bastrop. The house where my mother grew up is no longer standing, and all we know of the address is "the end of Shelton Road." We drove from its south end to where it ends at some federal or state reserve on the north side of town.

My mom told lots of stories about walking and playing along the railroad tracks. I took the above photo at the intersection of the tracks, Shelton Road, and Shelton Cutoff Road. The produce stand was just northeast of the intersection.

produce stand (bastrop, louisiana)

There were a number of houses and buildings that looked like they could have been there  or were similar to buildings that would have been there when my mom was growing up. She told stories of their house being up on blocks, how they stored potatoes under there for the winter, and how she didn't like to have to go under the house (where there were spiders and goat poop) to collect the potatoes.

Finding an exact location was not what I was interested in. What was important to me: getting an overall feel for the place, being in the town, in the hot summer, imagining her under the same sun. Another reason for stopping in Bastrop was to give Simon a chance to imagine Grammy being a kid and what it might have been like for her. Give him a taste of his Southern roots.

We stopped at a cemetery and Baptist Church along Shelton Road as well. Then we headed to find my grandparents' graves. We ended up at the wrong Pine Grove Cemetery on the first try; it was Pine Grove Cemetery "South." We found the correct one, located behind the Pine Grove Baptist Church.

There we found the graves of my grandfather, grandmother, aunt, and uncle.

henry l boykin, pine grove cemetery (bastrop, louisiana)

take a prayer, leave a praer (pulaski county, arkansas)

Most mornings traveling start out with Simon and Charles going for hotel breakfast, then coming back to wake me up and make me coffee (I love those two!). This morning, after making me coffee, they went back to the coin shop in downtown Conway (remember, it opened at 9 am!).

They came back an hour or so later, disappointed. The "Coin & Pawn" shop wasn't open after all and the pawn shop next to it wasn't really serious about coins. I think Simon was actually giving that shop owner some information about coins.

Before leaving town, we stopped in the Goodwill across from the hotel. I found a State Quarters lunch box (no kidding) for $1.00 for Simon and six rolls of 35mm film (ShurFine label, expired in 2007) for $1.00 each for me.

We drove the back way to Little Rock, the road I used to take. It seemed more familiar than Mayflower itself did, which was nice. The liquor stores just past the Faulkner/Pulaski county line were still there (no surprise). And, right across from the liquor stores, what I never gave a second glance to 12 years ago, was a cemetery on a rocky, red-dirt hill. One of the men driving a beer truck told Charles there had been a tornado through the cemetery, which explained the downed trees and overall disarray.

We took Simon into downtown Little Rock to the Coin & Stamp Shop. It seemed like it was well run, even if way less organized than Roy's shop in Eau Claire. Simon decided on a penny folder, with earlier dates than the one he has, and a 1911(?) wheat penny. He looked at the Peace Dollars, but decided to wait on that acquisition.

old ice cream stand (wilmot, arkansas)

A little freeway from Little Rock to Pine Bluff, then back to the two-lane. Charles says the interstate is so "neutralizing," and I agree. Half a mile off it and places seem like they have a character, an actual space and time.

We stopped briefly in Monticello for gas and to get the cheese curds out of the cooler (my lunch). Charles said, "I bet we're the only people in Arkansas eating cheese curds right now."

A rain storm came through part of the area we were driving through, but we didn't catch much of it.

In Hamburg, we stopped at the Ashley County Museum, called the number on the door, and got a personal tour of the beautifully furnished mansion/large restored home built in 1911. Simon was particularly impressed with the two swords from WWII.

beech creek cemetery (ashley county, arkansas)

After that we decided to locate the Beech Creek Cemetery, where my great-grandparents are buried. We found the cemetery and the Beech Creek Baptist Church, the church in which my grandmother was baptised. According to my nephew Nick's research, as of 1961, the church was one of the oldest churches still in use in the South. We shot photos at both sites and even went into the church building.

The internet says there are not services held there any more, but there was evidence of people still being in the building (including wasp spray). Charles got stung by a wasp while we were there. We had all three doors open; it must have been 100 degrees or so in the church. We were dripping with sweat doing nothing but photographing.

beech creek baptist church (ashley county, arkansas)

It was a beautiful hour there, despite Simon's complaining about the heat.

From there, on to Bastrop. Evening already. We ate supper at China Star. None of the restaurants in Bastrop were showing good reviews, so we took our chances. We didn't give it very many stars. "Greasy, greasy, and greasy," Simon said. Sometimes the honesty of an Asperger's kid is refreshing.

More Ed Show in the hotel before bed. Total liberal indoctrination of our child.

william edgar brown & amanda "carrie" caroline stone brown beech creek cemetery (ashley county, arkansas)

I'm up late due to my cold being the coughing stage. Hard to sleep. Tomorrow there are more graves we want to find: my grandfather, great-great grandparents, and possibly great-great-great grandparents (they died in Ashley County, Arkansas, but I can't find in which cemetery they're buried).

After supper we went to the local Walgreen's to buy some cough drops. When we got out of the car, all three of us had our cameras and walked out to the road before going into the store. When we checked out, the cashier asked, "What were y'all taking pictures of?" "The sunset," I said. We told her a little about what we were here for and what we were doing. "No one takes pictures of this town," she said.

brian k harris (roadside memorial, highway 64)

Today was mostly driving, first from Brownsville to Memphis. We drove to the address Google gave us for the All American Coin Company in Memphis, only to realize it was a business in someone's house and appointments were needed. Simon was disappointed, to say the least. He sure can get his heart set on a coin shop.

Simon was impressed by the Pyramid Arena as we drove by downtown Memphis, but we said no to his wish to stop.

jesus saves (opal, arkansas)

Most of what I found to photograph today was Bible-belt related: crosses (not just roadside memorial ones) and Jesus Saves signs. We also found a small, very run-down cemetery off Highway 64, McDonald Cemetery, near McDonald, Arkansas.

mcdonald cemetery (mcdonald, arkansas)

We stopped in Wynne for lunch at Ameca Mexican Restaurant. "Better than the Wendy's," was Charles' rating.

Getting close to Mayflower, where I lived for a year when I taught at the University of Central Arkansas, we were wowed by the big military planes overhead. Both the Camp Joseph T Robinson and Little Rock Air Force Base were nearby.

I looked at Google Maps last night, trying to locate the house I lived in on Highway 365 in Mayflower, thinking I'd photograph it when we got there. I had trouble finding it and had to agree with Charles when he wondered if it was even there any more.

captain's car wash (mayflower, arkansas)

He was right. When we got into town, what we found a new car wash in the place my old house used to be. I could have cried.

I'm not sure why I can mourn spaces the way I can mourn my loved ones, but there is something powerful about the physical presence of a building or space that you once inhabited, and when that is gone it does feel like a huge loss.

I hardly recognized Mayflower. It's been 12 years since I lived there, and in that time it has grown from a population of about 1,000 to over 2,000. It's got a Sonic and the lone grocery store is now a strip mall with a Dollar General and a Subway. There's a new Baptist Church. The trailer-house bank across the road from where my house used to be is now just an ATM.

About the only thing left to do at that point was find the Mayflower Cemetery, which we did, and I shot some Holgas there in light rain.

Then on to Conway where I gave Charles and Simon the driving tour of the university, showed them the building where I taught drawing and the building where my office was. We drove downtown and located the coin shop for the morning trip, discovering it opens at 9 am.

Conway has grown, too. Lots of new businesses and residential building.

simon, splashing (conway, arkansas)

We are staying at the same hotel where my brother stayed when he and his family came to visit back in 1999. Simon swam in the pool where I swam with my nephews, Adam and Austin (they would've been 6 at the time), and niece, Heidi (age 3 then). Crazy time warp.

Then I sweated with a Cathe workout (Kick, Punch, & Crunch) while Simon and Charles headed out for Quizno's supper. When they got back, we watched the Ed Show's recap and analysis of Obama's speech on the debt ceiling. When John Boehner's speech was being replayed, Simon said, "I wish I could kick the TV."

aidan, hope, & marlena by simon

Sunday morning I was awakened by the sound of two fourth-graders having a conversation. Simon and Marlena talking back and forth like little people. Not just Simon talking one-sided about coins or World War II. I was happily amazed.

I cannot say enough good things about our time with Jennifer and Barry and their family. Simon was so good there, with their kids. His Asperger's characteristics were downplayed with them, especially Marlena. It was so good to watch.

marlena by simon

aidan by simon

hope by simon

While Barry went out to get the wet ingredients for pancakes, Jennifer made french press coffee (oh, how I love that stuff) and we talked about her plans for a home water birth. She's expecting her fourth child any day. She liked Simon and my way of eating pancakes: use them to make a peanut butter sandwich with.

After a leisurely Sunday morning breakfast and coffee, the kids showed Simon and me their rooms. Marlena had made her own version of "keep out" signs, including scotch-tape caution tape and traffic cones along the bottom of the door. Hope and Aidan showed off their jumping-on-the-bed skills while I shot fisheye photos. "Why not add one more to the mix," I said to Jennifer in regard to her new child on the way.

I've seen her kids on facebook and flickr (Jennifer's photostream) for a few years. Seeing them in person was like watching Jennifer's photos come alive. Just like I expected them to be, but better. Hope won my heart.

barry, hope, aidan, and marlena at paris landing by simon

We all headed to Paris Landing for an afternoon of swimming, shell finding, and hanging out in the shade. The water was rougher there than it typically is in lakes, but it had lots of room for real swimming. I swam some with Simon and eventually got Hope to warm up to me enough to let me hold her so Jennifer could enjoy the water and float (I remember how good water felt when I was almost nine months pregnant).

Hope and I talked about shells, mermaid cups, raisins (wrinkly fingers), the yogurt raisins she and her mom like to eat, and her cute and crazy dog Mia.

Saying good-bye was emotional for me. It is hard to see a good friend only to have to leave.

After leaving Paris Landing, we went to check out Gray Cemetery nearby, a tiny cemetery where I nevertheless shot a few images.

roadside memorial, highway 79

There were a number of roadside memorials on the highway to Brownsville, and we stopped at Newhope Cemetery near Atwood, Tennessee. I also shot photos of train graffiti in Humboldt, with a rain storm coming. We ate supper in Humboldt at a Barbeque joint--going to have to get my photos developed before I remember its name. We ate while the thunderstorm made noise outside and met the owner's four-year-old daughter, Gabby.

tree, railroad track (bells, tennessee)

railroad track, cars (bells, tennessee)

The rain cooled things down a bit, for a while. I photographed a little more train graffiti in the good after-storm light in Bells. Then we made it to the Days Inn in Brownsville, and Simon and Charles got Dairy Queen for bedtime snack.

I was fighting a summer cold and feeling how colds get worse at night.

nickel cemetery

Last night (day four) was so much fun at Jennifer & Barry's house that I didn't post the day's events, so I'll do my best to remember tonight. Crazy how when traveling days can melt together and you can lose your sense of day/time/place.

charles (superman) & mom (superwoman) by simon

Saturday morning in Metropolis: first, leftover curry from Thai D for breakfast. Simon and I watched Confessions of a Superhero a while back and felt like we should at least go see the giant statue of Superman. We checked out the gift shop there, too. What a great load of kitch that was.

Then we stopped in the antique store on the way out of town for Simon to check out the coins.

The main road for Saturday driving was The Trace, a highway that runs down the middle of the Land Between the Lakes area. We saw the dam that creates Kentucky Lake and stopped for a few minutes at the Canal Overlook between Kentucky Lake and Barkley Lake, watched fast boats bounce on the water and wondered why size and speed is such an attraction for some.

gray cemetery/newby cemetery, land between the lakes

Along The Trace were many signs indicating cemeteries. We read there are over 200 in the Land Between the Lakes area. We took a few of the gravel roads leading to the cemeteries, but didn't find any further signs noting where or how far they might be, so decided to just keep on heading for Clarksville. When stopping at the visitor's center, we found a detailed map with the cemeteries marked and realized most of them were way off the main road, and even off the small side roads. To photograph them would mean hours and days, and hiking. Maybe another time, and another day when it's not 100 degrees.

We did find one beautiful cemetery before entering the LBL: Nickel Cemetery. Spent some time photographing there.

nannie by simon

The evening was spent seeing my good friends from grad school days in Columbia, South Carolina: Barry and Jennifer, and their three children: Marlena, Aidan, and Hope. I have been in touch with Jennifer over the past few years via facebook and flickr, but have not seen her in person for more years than I want to count! It was a wonderful visit. They took us to Dos Margaritos for supper, then Barry took Charles, Simon, and I to an amazing old cemetery in Clarksville so we could all photograph some before dark. Then Barry caught a few fireflies with Simon, showed us Austin Peay University (where he is an art professor), then got us home in time for popsicles before bed.

federated car care (st peter, illinois)

I love eating chicken vindaloo leftovers for breakfast! Charles and Simon let me sleep in a little this morning while they experienced the Howard Johnson's continental breakfast. My two early risers.

Before we left Springfield this morning, we took a quick tour of the Illinois State Capitol. Simon was enthralled by the elaborateness of the architecture, carvings, statues, etc. It is so much fun to watch a boy who gets excited by things. Even the plaque under one of the statues of a senator: he exclaimed, "Gold!"

"Brass," said Charles.

simon, illinois house of representatives meeting room

Simon loved seeing the Senate and House chamber rooms and going up into the galleries. He took many photos on the iPhone.

The only other tourists we talked to were outside the House meeting room. "We're from Wisconsin," we told them, and they told us about their children in Wisconsin and their daughter-in-law who owns the Golden Leaf Cafe in Menomonie.

for sale

old produce stand

Simon got to try out Sonic for the first time for lunch. "Not as good as Culver's," was his rating, "but better than Burger King." He is making plans for he and Charles to visit Eau Claire sometime (a guy's day out) to have fries and a chocolate malt at Sonic, visit the coin shop, and go to Menard's.

rocky point beach

We made our way to the swimming area at Forbes State Park by about 3:30. I realized there that any time in the past I've said, "it was like swimming in bath water," I was exaggerating. This lake water was hot. As in sweating in the water. For the majority of the time there, Simon and I played a game where we jumped down to the bottom of the lake to lay flat and catch a little of the cooler current.

We took our longest stretch of interstate after that, stopping in Marion at Thai D for spicy red curry (more leftovers for breakfast!).

After supper, we listened to most of a NPR broadcast about ants.

roadside memorial, highway 50

courtyard coffee house, main street (salem, illinois)

When we arrived at our hotel tonight, we realized we were right next door to Pony's Strip Club. Simon asked what a strip club was. I explained. "Weird," he said.

We made it in time for 20 minutes of swimming at the hotel pool.

Tomorrow, it's Kentucky Lakes and Jennifer's house. I can't wait.

simon, in the pool

wisconsin into iowa, at dubuque

the illinois river

bridge over the illinois

simon & charles, howard johnson's

goggle boy

Amazing what a clean, cool room after a lovely swim can do. Then a workout to try to counteract all that sitting while driving, and I slept as good as if I'd been at home.

roadside memorial, highway 27

I'm already a day behind blogging our 15-day road trip to Austin, Texas and back, so let me catch up on day one. Menomonie to Dickeyville, Wisconsin.

I've got four film cameras along: my Holga 120CFN, Holga WPC, Lomo Fisheye2, and Lomo LC-A+ (my newest of the bunch, which I'm quickly falling in love with). But finding film developers on the road is not the easiest thing in the world, so I'm stockpiling the rolls in my camera bag and shooting just a few iPhone photos to add to the blog as I go.

And, yes, you heard me right. We are on a fifteen day road trip. In record heat. Good old summer vacation.

The main reason for our trip is to take Simon to meet his half-brother, Holden, who is just one year younger than Simon. The two have never met, and we think now is a good time to let that happen.

On the way, we're meeting friends, stopping in the town my mother grew up in, and seeing what we can see. Taking the back roads, driving about 250 - 300 miles a day, not rushing things.

roadside memorial, highway 61

flowers near the memorial, highway 61

We got out of Menomonie yesterday morning about 10:30, leaving our kitties in good hands with our next door neighbor Danielle and her two-year-old daughter Sophia.

Our first stop was Lake Wazee, right outside of Black River Falls. It is the deepest lake in Wisconsin, up (down?) to 355 deep in some areas. It is an artificial lake, formed when they stopped mining for iron there in the early 80s. While mining, they had to pump the water out, so when they stopped the operations, they simply let the water fill over the mine. It is popular with scuba divers because of the depth and the clear water. It was a perfect day for the lake. Over 95 degrees and a heat index over 100. But the water was as clear as we've been in in Wisconsin and cool, too. We watched little bluegill nibbling on Charles' back. Even sunbathing was not too hot with the breeze off the water.

Pretty much driving to Dickeyville after that, stopping for a few roadside memorials, listening to Wisconsin Public Radio on the recall elections, Simon quoting in harmony with the announcers every time one of them would say, "talk about issues that matter to you." And yet he listens with interest to the news about the recalls and the 150th anniversary of the Civil War.

mary, dickeyville grotto

Supper last night was at Shultzie's Supper Club in Dickeyville, which was surprisingly better than we thought it would be at first glance. There was nothing left of my salmon, Simon's chicken, and Charles' shrimp. Simon and I did give the "gross" looks to Charles for eating the pickled chicken gizzards. A second gross goes to the frog legs on the menu.

After supper, we spent some time at the Dickeyville Grotto. I shot parts of three rolls of film there.

fortitude, dickeyville grotto

Then we headed to our motel. The motel to make all others on our trip look like "Queen Victoria," as Simon put it. The Tower Motel. I won't go into all the nastiness, but I will say the fact that there was no toilet paper was the crowning moment of the night for me.

On our way out, coin-collector Simon noticed the motel had a "coin laundry." He, of course, assumed that meant a place where people washed their coins. We love traveling with our boy.

Dark Turn of Mind
by Gillian Welch 

Take me and love me if you want me
Don't ever treat me unkind
'Cause I had that trouble already
And it left me with a dark turn of mind

Now I see the bones in the river
And I feel the wind through the pine
And I hear the shadows a-calling
To a girl with a dark turn of mind

But oh ain't the nighttime so lovely to see?
Don't all the nightbirds sing sweetly?
You'll never know how happy I'll be
When the sun's going down

And leave me if I'm feeling too lonely
Full as the fruit on the vine
You know some girls are bright as the morning
And some have a dark turn of mind

You know some girls are bright as the morning
And some girls are blessed with a dark turn of mind

I've been listening to Gillian Welch & David Rawling's new album, The Harrow & The Harvest, the past two days. I downloaded it--and now I find this: a letterpress CD cover. I love when other people use the old-fashioned stuff.





more at npr blogs

simon & charles, adoption day by xenia elizabeth

Yesterday was a big day for us. My husband, Charles, adopted by son, Simon.

evening, red cedar state trail by xenia elizabeth

One of the projects I'm working on this summer is organizing my negatives, index prints, and CDs from the past 15 months of shooting film. I was not thinking when I started photographing with my Holga and various 35mm cameras that I would get this serious about it and end up with over 200 rolls of film scattered around my studio.

evening, red cedar state trail by xenia elizabeth

One of the joys of doing this (if there is such a thing as joy in organizing!), is the discovery of old negatives. This morning I found a roll of images I shot just over a year ago along the Red Cedar State Trail. The images are from a disposable camera, underexposed, about as lo-fi as you can get. I do love the darkness and grittiness in them.

As much as I need the long light of Wisconsin summers (happy solstice yesterday!), we have many cool, wet, gray days in summer and these images capture that well.

evening, red cedar state trail by xenia elizabeth

lewis cleaners by xenia elizabeth

When I was in Iowa over the Memorial Day weekend, Charles, Simon, and I took an evening walk in Shenandoah, where my dad lives. Though I attended school in Tabor and church in Randolph, Shenandoah is also a hometown to me.

It is only 12.5 miles to Shenandoah from the farm I grew up on and it is also the biggest town around (population: about 5,000).  It is where we went with my mother at least weekly to buy groceries, shop for school clothes, go to the doctor, eat at the Pizza Hut, etc. My grandparents moved from the farm into Shenandoah when I was nine years old, so I spent much time there visiting them and my aunt Rosemary, who came to live with them just a few years later after retiring from her position as a librarian in Denver, Colorado.

roller skating by xenia elizabeth

When Simon was born--and I was a single mother with an infant to care for--I moved in with my parents for a few years and ended up working for the Chamber of Commerce in Shenandoah, thanks to Dan Offenburger, who was director of the Chamber at the time. Dan had worked as Athletic Director at Creighton University in Omaha, but he had grown up in Shenandoah, and returned to work in the community. When I interviewed for the position, he looked at me with a smile and said, "Shenandoah needs more people like you." He understood my overqualified status applying for an administrative assistant position, and knew I was likely to apply for teaching jobs again, but took me on. It was a favorite year, the year I worked with him.

Working with him at the Chamber I learned a few things: 1) administrators and CEOs are people, not nearly as scary as I thought they were [though that's something I'm still learning when it comes to administrators in the university setting!]; 2) how to be a professional without losing one's sense of humanity, humor, and self; and 3) how to appreciate big stories from seemingly small places.

I like the fact that I know Shenandoah from a child's perspective, trailing along with my mother, learning what groceries needed to be purchased, what errands needed running in an adult life, how to make small talk with acquaintances you run into. I am also grateful for the year I got to work there as an adult, and as an insider (and getting to eat 6:30 am Chamber meeting breakfasts at the Depot Deli once a month!). And, now, it is also the place I go when I go "home," to my dad's, where some of my mother's belongings get good use in his house, where he walks on the track, helps out at his church, and plays cards at the Senior Center.

li'l duffer by xenia elizabeth

It was a gorgeous night when we took our walk through town. I don't know why I only took one roll of film! I shot with my first roll of 800 film in my Holga 120N (Lomography Color Negative 800 film 120). What interested me most that evening were some of the old buildings and places I used to spend time in, or that had some nostalgic quality for me, such as the image of the torn down L'il Duffer Restaurant, which was all gone except for one trash bin and some floor tiles.

I want to go back and shoot more.