Tia Marie
I'm a (nerdy/dorky/geeky/socially awkward) tomboy working in systems engineering. Video games, Esperanto, Engineering, and all things nerdy make me squee!
Flickr- Twitter
- Reddit
- Formspring
- Netflix
- YouTube
- Foursqure
- Tia Marie
- GitHub
- Goodreads
- Home Sweet Home
- Contact
-
Photos
-
Tweets
- @Todeskaefer Ho la fisxaro!
- @Todeskaefer Jes. mortintaj
- la fiŝoj estas malviva.
- The plot thickens: http://t.co/DKYhaIuevI cc @HydroWVU
- My soundtrack: ♫ "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley (@ Diamond Heights, San Francisco, CA, USA) http://t.co/K85ttXDyc3
- Signs you are an ageing Web 2.0 worker; dog park drama is WAY more interesting the ValleyWag's piece on some CEO throwing down at a TC party
- Being sick is no fun, especially when you fall down stairs. Though, my most recent bruise looks like a cute Protozoa with google eyes.
- @GonzoHacker And the poor will be the first with their backs up against the wall?
- @sxtormoj Seulement dans ma tête
- Dead fish
- île flottante chiennes maintenant ಠ_ಠ
- On! (@ Baker Street Bistro - @bakerstbistro) http://t.co/oIxgHI2jX7
- @Farren_kun I drew it myself
- Current Status: Blanket fort with @the_clone http://t.co/zmcoF76msn
- Still not feeling so great. Going off line today
- Big <3 for @NiceGirlsToo
- <3 @NiceGirlsToo so much.
- Anyone in SF with the day off who could spent time with a sad (typically awesome) lady who needs a buddy & platonic hugs?
- TOO MUCH STRESS! ಠ_ಠo
-
Posts
- May 11, 13
It's earliest usage was simply to refer to a bundle of sticks. The first written example of the word was in the 1300s. Around the 1600s the word faggot was often used to refer to heretics who were burned at the stake unless they recanted their heresy. Those who recanted their heretical ways were made to wear an embroidered emblem of a figure of a faggot (bundle of sticks) on their sleeve. Homosexuality has been associated with heresy since 1116, when the Henricians were condemned as heretics. From that point forward, the Church explicitly alleged that heretics practiced vir cum viris (man with man) and femina cum feminis (woman with woman). By 1209 Pope Innocent began the Crusade against the heretical and sodomitical Albigensians in France, and the burning of heretics (labeled as homosexuals). Sometime around the late 1590s was when faggot is believed to be used as a pejorative against women. It's believed that during the 1600s when the term was used as a pejorative for heretics, that's actually when faggot could've been used for the first time to refer to homosexuals since many heretics were also accused of engaging in homosexuality. The word faggot at this time was put towards the heretics due to the bundle of sticks they'd be burned over, but as well tied into the pejorative for women (think witches and homosexuals being feminised derogatorily). That being said, the word "faggot" as meaning just a homosexual male was a creation of the US at around 1914. So you are correct in the sense that faggot has been a pejorative for quite some time prior to it being solely for homosexuals, however, homosexuality and heresy were often closely associated during the era when faggot became a pejorative. It could be argued it was used against homosexuals since the 1600s. **Citations** >The term faggot or fagot, meaning bundle of sticks, shows up around 1300 in English. It almost certainly came from Old French, possibly going back to Greek phakelos. Since those bundles of sticks were mainly used for fires, it's not surprising that the term came to mean burning sticks. Then there was that nasty business in medieval times where heretics were burned at the stake. Some later cites indicate heretics who repented and were spared a fiery death had to wear a picture of a faggot on their sleeve to show what might have been their fate. But no print evidence exists that homosexuals were referred to as faggots before the twentieth century, with the origin definitely in the U.S., not Britain. > >As a last thought, a current notion holds that the Yiddish word faygeleh, "little bird," might have been the source, but **lacks evidence other than the claim that the word was commonly used in Yiddish prior to WWII to indicate a homosexual**. > *Source: [Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2112/how-did-faggot-get-to-mean-male-homosexual) >Resources: Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, edited by J. E. Lighter, New York, 1994-1997. >[Oxford English Dictionary](http://www.oed.com/viewdictionaryentry/Entry/67623) >Rictor Norton, A History of Homophobia, "4 Gay Heretics and Witches" 15 April 2002, updated 18 February 2011*
- May 09, 13
In my opinion, the hospital food at an Air Force base is ***awesome***. Check out breakfast if you can, one of my favourite AF Bases to go for food is Travis AFB (DGMC has made-to-order omelets), Wright Patterson, Lakenheath, and Andrews AFB. Their chow halls are just awesome. I do at least have some points of reference for comparison. I got to eat at a marine chow tent when I was out at a marine camp in Kandahar and a couple of army bases CONUS.
- May 08, 13
Visit the chow hall, enjoy the medical care, and air force ladies ;)
- May 07, 13
submitted by tia-marie to secretsanta
[link] [comment] - Mar 20, 13
I don't know how much of an "accident" planting weapons could be.
- Mar 08, 13
Woohoo! I'm glad the second set of books made it. That was what I was really excited for you to get. I love sharing that story with others.
- Mar 07, 13
In my father's case the doctors don't believe it will ever turn cancerous. However, every respiratory illness he has is treated very carefully and monitored closely.
- Mar 07, 13
No, sadly not. There was an out of court settlement. I don't know the amount exactly but it was insinuated to me that it was under 10k.
- Mar 06, 13
I got to learn all about this as a kid. My dad was exposed to this stuff at work and was part of a AFL-CIO led class action suit for his lung damage. It's scary shit. My dad managed to avoid cancer, but he gets upper respiratory infections quite easily and has diminished respiratory function.
- Mar 04, 13
Same thing happened in the branch of the military I was in but you know what. I'm 100% okay with it. The pay isn't glorious in the military, when I was active duty I was on public assistance as a single mother. The military didn't help me pay the $160 a week day care expenses I had out of my "lavish" $15,000 a year salary (at the time).
- Mar 04, 13
And I've already eaten them all.
- Mar 04, 13
submitted by tia-marie to secretsanta
[link] [1 comment] - Mar 04, 13
I'd redo the female reproductive system. Bad design. Seriously.
- Mar 03, 13
Midsummer's night dream still has me snorting with laughter.
- Feb 28, 13
The original video of this has been removed from youtube but I remember this being posted to /r/MensRights a while ago. Apparently this was a comment from the original video from the guy who shot it: >"What you see here is the last 3 minutes of a 15 minute fight. These three forced their way into my room and had me in the corner while Kathy Tretola spouted unsubstantiated accusations, yelling at me to hit her and hit me repeatedly in the arm, chest and neck. At no point did I touch her. Everything changed when I pulled out my camera. At the very beginning of the video you can see Cathy Tretola trying to grab the camera and hitting me. Then she turned into an actor and unsuccessfully tried to make it look like she was the victim. Notice how fake she is trying to act upset and notice how Joe Saccoach and the other guy are acting like they are consoling her. The police were called by me, and they did not believe a word of her story. I can't wait to have my day in court."
- Feb 28, 13
submitted by tia-marie to screenshots
[link] [1 comment] - Feb 26, 13
Saddest picture as in hyperbole. If I want to see sad things, I can just look at my pictures from deployments.
- Feb 26, 13
I mostly feel all sad faced over those baby chicks.
- Feb 26, 13
Oh fabulous! Then I won't have to worry about transposing the song. It didn't look like it was arranged for piano. I have an Alto flute as well as a standard flute. I will have to find a time that is quiet enough to practice and record. PM me and I will exchange some contact details to you.
- Feb 26, 13
Do you know what instrument this was written for? I see marks that look like breath marks (the little , marks above the staff).
- Feb 26, 13
If you aren't picky about the instrument, I could record this on flute for you.
- Feb 25, 13
That is both awesome and horrid. You Sir are amazing.
- Feb 25, 13
Sadly I am not that witty. I feel my poultry attempts at pun humour never really manages to fly.
- Feb 25, 13
They certainly know how to dispose of their dead chicks. Nothing worse than having a dead chick around and nothing to do with the body.
- Feb 25, 13
He certainly didn't count on a murder most fowl.
-
Answered
- If you're following me on here, I'll assume you know me somehow. So how? What's got you following my account here? How did we meet? Have we ever physically met eachother?We haven't met, but we share a fancy of a web comic artist.Asked by Geoff Jul 28, 11
- How did you come by your screen name? What is it based on/from? Why did you choose it? Or did it choose you?Oh my first screen name was really lame and I was like 9. My current name is "Tia Marie" which is my real first and middle nameAsked by Geoff Jul 28, 11
- What kind of a generation are we raising that they don't like Westerns? These movies are our heritage! Well, our cinematic heritage anyway. Do you watch the old Westerns at all? Not just the popular "Man With No Name" ones, either.I think people liked Firefly just fine. I consider it a Space WesternAsked by Geoff Jul 28, 11
- Do you collect anything? If so, what is it?I collect badges from conferences I go to.Asked by Formspring Jul 28, 11
- What's your honest opinion of me? (if you're brave you'll press ask followers)I think you're awesome. I think that your a "kindred spirit" of sorts and I admire you a great deal. I can't tell you how many times I've woken up in the morning thinking, "I wish I could be Tia Marie full time" but I'm too much of a coward to take the financial risk. I admire you because you have, even with Lupus and a houseful of children you do it. I admire you because you're able to express when you're sad and stressed out, candidly and publicly. I just can't do that at all, it's the nature of my career field. Even if people know my words aren't my company's words logically, people judge my actions towards my competency at my job and my company. I keep my tongue a lot. You clearly adore your children and you're not one of those horrible soccer moms. You're just the right amount of doting and awesome without being annoying about being a parent. You're extremely supportive, I don't know if your support and loyalty to my company is because you thoroughly enjoy the product or are my friend or a bit of column A and column B, but your support makes me smile and makes me feel good. No matter how many bumps and bugs, you're still enduring the beta road with my product I work for and it helps me a great deal. I hope by telling you this, I can express some of how much I appreciate you.Asked by Julia Sherred May 20, 11
- What is one thing you should *not* do to get someone's attention?Destructive or negative things.Asked by Formspring May 05, 11
- I see my friends sitting both in the front and back seats and there is only a space in the back. Which seat can I take?Call shotgun and kick a bitch outAsked by Formspring Apr 19, 11
- So how many webpages have you bookmarked over the years? But, of those pages, how many do you actually use anymore, and how many have you just forgotten about? When was the last time you wen to the forgotten ones? Why haven't you deleted them yet?I have about 55 bookmarks and I say that I probably only use 15% of those. I've pretty much forgotten about all of them except the ones on my bookmark bar. I should probably clean them up one day.Asked by Geoff Apr 10, 11
- If I told you there was a website you could go to, to shop from all of your favourite stores, and earn up to 35%cash back on your purchases, what would you say?I would say that I think you're trying to sell me on something ;)Asked by Geoff Apr 10, 11
- What influences your decision to buy? The quality of the item, or the quality of the person selling the item?Quality of the item.Asked by Leon Bacud Apr 10, 11
- Do you wear your boyfriend's or husband's shirts? Not his dress shirts, but his regular, everyday, casual, t-shirts. The ones that make up the majority of his wardrobe when he's going to work, or going out to play? If so...WHY?!?!?!Yes I do. All the time. It's just because I'm lazy or I'm out of shirts I like.Asked by Geoff Apr 10, 11
- Do you prefer to wrap your own coins and take them to the bank, or use the Coinstar machine and loose the 9.8 or 11.9 cents per dollar?Neither. I either give my coins to @the_clone or my coworkers for the Laundromat.Asked by Geoff Apr 04, 11
- How many people are you following on Twitter that you have considered unfollowing, because they either don't say much, or you don't care about what they say anymore? But haven't because they're following you?Not many, I regularly go through my list. I don't even really follow celebrities.Asked by Geoff Apr 04, 11
- What does a healthy online community look like to you? What key things add to a community you want to keep coming back to?This might sound like a cop out, but I say personality. Your community needs its own unique flavour that gives people a social circle that they can't find anywhere else. Also a bit of a cop out, I think you need to add love. When you are a part of the community and the organizers are members and passionate, it shows me that they care and have a vested interest more than just a paycheque towards the emotional and social well-being of the community.Asked by Morgan Sherwood Mar 29, 11
- how can you be more adorable?Well, I personally think if I looked like one of those female gnomes with the pink pigtails from World of Warcraft, that I would be very adorable.Asked by Formspring Mar 29, 11
- How can I become more awesome than you?Well, that is incredibly easy. Are you sitting down? If not, I need you to sit down. First thing we're going to do this and we're going to do it right. Repeat after me, "I am the Dragon of Awesome!." Say that out loud a few times. Bwahah, you look stupid saying that shit. That is the point! You shouldn't worry about appearing stupid to be awesome. "I'm badass, and silly." needs to be your motto. You need to give up on that boring stuff in your life. You need to get yourself a video game, play that shit on nightmare mode and beat it. Then you can brag to all of your friends. They'll they you're the fucking bomb. After that you have two options: 1. Tell your boss how fucking awesome you are. No SHUT UP. You're thinking about it, don't think, just do it. You are the freaking dragon of awesome. 2. If you're too scared of that and FSM knows most mortals are, then simply get a whiteboard. Place that damned thing behind you and write in big colourful letters: "I AM AWESOME." Your coworkers may mock you, your boss may look at you strangely but you know it's true. If they ask you about it, confidently tell them how awesome you are. Are you thinking about this? Don't. The EXACT tone of your voice should match just how you feel about yourself. Godspeed, you nearly awesome bastard. Godspeed.Asked by Formspring Mar 28, 11
- How can I become awesome like you?Wait a second, I was going to ask you that! However, the secret to my miniscule awesomeness is a healthy dosage of video games, fried food, Pearl Jam, Karaoke and musical instruments. That's the secret to my limited success. I'll keep you updated if I go past miniscule to marked awesomeness.Asked by Morgan Sherwood Mar 28, 11
-
Uploads
-
Checkins
- Baker Street Bistro2953 Baker St
- Bob Hope Airport (BUR)2627 N Hollywood Way
- Embassy Suites Hotel800 N Central Ave
- The Cheesecake Factory511 Americana Way
- Embassy Suites Hotel800 N Central Ave
- Bob Hope Airport (BUR)2627 N Hollywood Way
- San Francisco International Airport (SFO)N McDonnell Rd.
- Jasper's Corner Tap & Kitchen401 Taylor St.
- 1300 on Fillmore1300 Fillmore St
- Absinthe Brasserie & Bar398 Hayes St
- Twitter HQ1355 Market St.
- 4th Floor Lady's Room100 pine Street
- Century San Francisco Centre 9 & XD845 Market St, #500
- Atelier des Modistes1903 Hyde St
- Perbacco230 California St
- One Medical Group2 Embarcadero Ctr, Lbby LEVEL
- Barracuda Sushi2251 Market St
- Seasons Bar & Loungeat Four Seasons Hotel San Francisco
-
Posts
- May 11, 13
Forgive me if this isn’t of interest to anyone, but I figured that if I did the work to put this together I might as well put it in my blog.
This was originally from a reddit comment I made, but it discusses the history of the word “faggot” as a pejorative.
It’s earliest usage was simply to refer to a bundle of sticks. The first written example of the word was in the 1300s.
Around the 1600s the word faggot was often used to refer to heretics who were burned at the stake unless they recanted their heresy. Those who recanted their heretical ways were made to wear an embroidered emblem of a figure of a faggot (bundle of sticks) on their sleeve.
Homosexuality has been associated with heresy since 1116, when the Henricians were condemned as heretics. From that point forward, the Church explicitly alleged that heretics practiced vir cum viris (man with man) and femina cum feminis (woman with woman). By 1209 Pope Innocent began the Crusade against the heretical and sodomitical Albigensians in France, and the burning of heretics (labeled as homosexuals).
Sometime around the late 1590s was when faggot is believed to be used as a pejorative against women. It’s believed that during the 1600s when the term was used as a pejorative for heretics, that’s actually when faggot could’ve been used for the first time to refer to homosexuals since many heretics were also accused of engaging in homosexuality.
The word faggot at this time was put towards the heretics due to the bundle of sticks they’d be burned over, but as well tied into the pejorative for women (think witches and homosexuals being feminised derogatorily).
That being said, the word “faggot” as meaning just a homosexual male was a creation of the US at around 1914.
The word faggot has been a pejorative for quite some time prior to it being solely for homosexuals, however, homosexuality and heresy were often closely associated during the era when faggot became a pejorative. It could be argued it was used against homosexuals since the 1600s.
Citations
The term faggot or fagot, meaning bundle of sticks, shows up around 1300 in English. It almost certainly came from Old French, possibly going back to Greek phakelos. Since those bundles of sticks were mainly used for fires, it’s not surprising that the term came to mean burning sticks. Then there was that nasty business in medieval times where heretics were burned at the stake. Some later cites indicate heretics who repented and were spared a fiery death had to wear a picture of a faggot on their sleeve to show what might have been their fate. But no print evidence exists that homosexuals were referred to as faggots before the twentieth century, with the origin definitely in the U.S., not Britain.
As a last thought, a current notion holds that the Yiddish word faygeleh, “little bird,” might have been the source, but lacks evidence other than the claim that the word was commonly used in Yiddish prior to WWII to indicate a homosexual.
Source: Straight Dope
Resources:
- Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, edited by J. E. Lighter, New York, 1994-1997.
- Oxford English Dictionary
- Rictor Norton, A History of Homophobia, “4 Gay Heretics and Witches” 15 April 2002, updated 18 February 2011
- Feb 18, 13
Lieutenant Commander Tia Marie here, Chief Operations Officer & founding member of the USS Gygax NCC-63545, a correspondence chapter in the Starfleet International (an international Star Trek fan association). I became a part of founding the USS Gygax with Otaking and many others from a Star Trek themed LambdaMOO called Where No One Has Gone Before.
Since its inception almost a year ago, being a member of the USS Gygax has been a great deal of fun and most importantly at my own pace. I’ve participated in charity events, gaming events, and even cosplaying at Star Trek events. Being a member of SFI had really helped me gain a deeper enjoyment of Star Trek through it’s rich and wonderful fan community.
That’s why I want you right here with me. Lets enjoy Star Trek together and join me as a member of the USS Gygax’s crew. There is a $15 a year membership fee (email if you’re interested but the fee is a problem) and since we are a correspondence chapter there isn’t much of your RL time you have to put into being a member. We are in Region 4 (R4) but that doesn’t limit you to join if you are elsewhere in the world.
As a crew, we engage on WNOHGB and on our forums. We have regular gaming nights online and even do some local stuff where members live near each other. I’ve known most of the folks in the crew for about 4 years and they are a blast!
You can register for membership here: https://db.sfi.org/secure/signup.php
Make sure to select USS GYGAX – R4 in the chapter drop down. Additionally, I’ll sponsor the fee for up to 4 people if you are interested in joining!
Give me a shout on Twitter or introduce yourself on the USS Gygax forums once you’ve applied for membership of SFI and we’ll introduce you to the crew. You can also feel free to ask questions about membership.
Hope to see you aboard!
- Oct 30, 12
Christie praises Obama, doesn’t ‘give a damn’ about Romney photo op (via Raw Story )The presidential candidates have canceled all campaign events on Tuesday, but Republican New Jersey Chris Christie seemed to be stumping for President Barack Obama by appearing on several networks to praise the federal response to Hurricane Sandy. In an interview on NBC, Christie called Obama “outstanding…
- Jul 31, 12
After outcry, Twitter ‘unsuspends’ journalist account (via AFP)Twitter apologized Tuesday for suspending the account of a British journalist in an incident which prompted accusations it favored its commercial ties with Olympics broadcaster NBC over media freedoms. Twitter’s response came after an outcry over the suspension of Guy Adams, Los Angeles correspondent…
Twitter, trust, NBC executive, journalism professor, email address, Twitter account, social media, Twitter blog, business partner, Twitter Rules, olympics broadcaster nbc, Los Angeles correspondent, social media site, deserved black eye, interdependent media environment, analyst rebecca lieb, York journalism professor, Northeastern University journalism, private email address, Alex McGillivray, media freedoms, email account, opening ceremony, British journalist, primetime audience, commercial ties, Olympics partnership, dangerous precedent, general counsel, inevitable result, free-speech protections, Safety policies, non-financial partnership, support ticket, Dan Kennedy, Jeff Jarvis, Buzz Machine, information, free flow, government requests, irreparable damage, media blog, private corporations, Altimeter Group, Safety team, online content, business interests, City University, report, company - Jul 27, 12
Being in the mountains of Montana on vacation really takes me back. Especially with the bout of sleeping troubles I have had tonight. I’ve spent the past few hours outdoors just enjoying the scenery.
It makes me think of all the times I wandered off alone as a teenager in the woods and near the rivers in the Appalachian mountains.
I had tons of “hiding spots” where I would bring food, drinks, and drawing materials. Almost all of my alone spots were near a body of water. I remember one spot in particular, it was under a bridge and up against the levee.
I’d climb down, settle myself under the bridge and listen to music, wax philosophical, draw, and… talk to myself. I also used to write in my journal and write silly short stories.
One of my favourite hobbies was sending off my short stories in a bottle, to float down the dry fork river. Sometimes I’d write anonymised journal pages and send them downstream too.
I’d confess my deepest secrets and feelings and watch them float away. I don’t know if they were ever found and read, but younger Tia liked to pretend they were. She’d write letters to her unnamed penpal down the river.
Have any of you ever sent out a message in a bottle?
- Jul 24, 12
I want you to watch the video above, really watch this. I found this video really by accident and I wasn’t going to make a post about this until I started reading some of the comments like:
“Fuck that parent for buying her kid new ears.”
“her mom is crazy for putting her daughter into dat dreadful process.”
I have a confession to make. I had the exact same surgery as this little girl and I was 8 years old. Yup, that’s right. Let me show you the results of the plastic surgery before I tell you why.
22 years later, I’m still exceptionally thrilled with the way my ears look. I really wish I had some pictures of my original ears, but there aren’t many pictures of my childhood. What I do remember is getting bullied, verbally and physically. My ears were tugged on (very painfully) and I was repeatedly called names. I didn’t mind the verbal bullying much as getting my ears flicked, pulled, tugged, and drawn on in class. Trust me, the teachers did NOTHING. Not a single thing. I remember having my ear flicked so hard it started bleeding.
I didn’t want to go to school, and I begged my mom to do something about it. After it became obvious that dealing with the school wouldn’t work and hiding my ears with my hair didn’t work… we did the next thing we could think of. Otoplasty. It was a quick and easy surgery where they cut open my ears, took out some cartilage and stitched my ears to my head.
The worst of it was really getting the stitches taken out after a couple of weeks… That and my older brother telling me they shaved my head and I’d be as bald as ET after the head wrapping came off. I was convinced I’d be bald. I got my brother back for that by revealing the “under the dryer” hiding spot to my mom. We’ll just leave it at that. (PS: <3 Big Brother)
Anyhow, I’m glad my parents did this for me. I know they didn’t have a lot of money and this was “just plastic surgery for a child” – but it made a difference. So did the braces. I still got bullied over other things as I grew older, but people stopped screwing with my ears. At that school, a few kids even started sticking up for me once they found out I was willing to have surgery to get people to stop picking on me about my ears. Some kids didn’t realise how seriously I was picked on and others didn’t realise how badly it made me feel.
Anyhow, thought I’d share. More than willing to answer any questions about this (as I remember, it was 22 years ago).
- Jul 23, 12
Sally Ride, first US woman in space dead at 61 (via AFP)Sally Ride, the first US woman to journey into space, died on Monday after a 17-month battle with pancreatic cancer, her foundation announced. She was 61. Ride first launched into space in 1983 aboard the Challenger shuttle, on the seventh mission of US space shuttle program. US President Barack Obama…
space, space agency, space shuttle program, space agency nasa, President Barack Obama, powerful role model, statement offering condolences, space missions, Challenger shuttle, 17-month battle, pancreatic cancer, Challenger explosion, national hero, young girls, NASA headquarters, student newspaper, crew members, Stanford University, Barack, astronaut, stars, accident - Jul 08, 12
As I age, I realise more and more that I don’t comprehend malice. Intellectually I understand the premise, I have done malicious things in my life. I’m sure few people can say they’ve never intended to be mean ever, revenge and spite are too easily justified in society.
I understand when people are mean towards others who have done bad things. I don’t understand how other people come to the conclusion that the acts were bad and are bad enough that the person who committed the act deserves malice in return.
The vast majority of topics that become interesting enough for me to research, usually involve situations of malice. I might blog an example of an interest, but to make this post shorter, I will procrastinate.
That’s really it. Might elaborate more later. Yes, Tia is a sappy loser that wishes everybody just get along.
- Jul 07, 12
Now that I’ve changed careers, I figured it was an appropriate time to share the story of how I eventually decided to become a community manager. I’ve been reluctant to share this publicly because being a Community Manager brought me regret-less joy and I would never want sympathy because of it. I also never wanted the tale to impact how my community responded to me.
I’ve mentioned in other posts that I was bullied in my youth. This had a profound impact on my self esteem, self worth, and ability to make friends. The bullying ranged from teasing, to being physically hurt, to a few very cruel things. I don’t think it was the worst bullying one could receive, but it was to a degree that it made me pretty miserable and occasionally scared.
Over the years, I learned coping and defence mechanisms to deal with it all. Most importantly, I was also fortunate enough to have the Internet during the hardest times. I was about 9 when I first went online. My older brother introduced me to a type of online game called a MUD (multi-user dungeon).
It was quite the discovery for a lonely and socially awkward child to find a plethora of social groups at one’s fingertips. It gave me the ability to test out different peer groups with very little negative consequences. I had the ability to simply avoid and forget places where I wasn’t happy.
This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but my first crushes and solid friends I met online. Even to this day, I am in contact with people met over 15 years ago online. Some of my closest and most trusted friends today were once people I never thought I’d have a face-to-face conversation with.
By the time I was in high school and hormones were the dominant force in social situations, I still never had a very easy time fitting in. School work was boring and I found most of it tediously unsatisfying. I didn’t have any peers in my life that I felt close to and certainly didn’t have a best friend to confide in.
There were a few peers that I would talk to and on rare occasions do things with outside of extra curricular and school activities. I just never let anyone in anymore, because the transition to high school taught me that my friends were temporary. Middle school friends had turned into either strangers or joined others who bullied me.
I was lucky that my mother was my confidant. It made the earlier years easier to deal with. I would spend an hour after school every day unloading all of the hurt feelings and schoolyard gossip to her. I never told her about the times when things got physical, but I told her everything else. She also would play games with me and listen to things I was far to embarrassed to share with my peers. By the time I was 14, my mom was practically everything I needed in a best friend and my Internet friends filled in where my mom couldn’t.
I still remember when I let it slip to a classmate about my Internet friends and a boy online I had a crush on. Let’s just say, they didn’t get it and gossiped about it to other friends and for a while it gave the folks who picked on me something new to tease me about.
I kept my online life pretty secret from that point forward. I let very few people know about the communities I was involved in online and certainly never talked about my friendships. I eventually started becoming penpals with some of my net friends and would buy calling cards with my allowance to talk to them on the phone.
While the other teenage girls in my school were spending nights gabbing on the phone with their classmate friends, I was gossiping on the phone with people I met online about school and community drama. Never once did it feel different to have a friend I never met in the flesh versus a friend I saw in meatspace every day.
It was the summer after I turned 16 that solidified my feelings of true friendship with my online friends. My mom died at home that summer very suddenly and without prior illness. It took my entire family by surprise and it was quite difficult to deal with. To make matters worse, I lived in a one stoplight kind of county where everyone knew everyone else’s business.
While I did have peers offline who I know honestly tried to be there for me, many people didn’t really know how to help. I certainly didn’t make it easy for anyone by becoming even more reclusive. Most of my support came from a guy about my age who lived in Ohio.
I met him in the Area51 geocities chatroom around my freshmen year and eventually developed a long distance relationship with him. He was, for all intents and purposes, my first high school boyfriend. He would spend so much time with me on the phone, we’d talk about our school, family, and mutual Internet friends. He was there to listen to me sob over the phone, telling him every detail of my mother’s death and every way it affected me. We didn’t even formally ‘meet’ until 2010 by chance at Blizzcon and had gone our separate ways/lost touch for several years before that.
Even after I left high school and joined the military, the friends I made through online communities remained my primary support group. They wrote me letters in basic training, sent me care packages when I was deployed, and did so many other things to support me in life just like any good friend you’d make in person.
At some point, my dear friend Marco (who I have yet to meet in the flesh) had given me the chance to help be a part of running the online community he had created and was also the community I had been involved in since 1999 (and still am today).
It was just around the dotcom bust and there wasn’t really as much of a concept of a community manager. The notion of being given money to run a community and make friends on the Internet was a unobtainable pipe dream of mine.
It makes me laugh when I think of all the times I’d muse about how awesome it would be to have a job running online communities. It really was my dream job. There was no hobby or social activity that brought the same pleasure to me like being a part of an online community.
Needless to say, when I discovered in 2005 that companies were paying people a salary to do things I was already doing for fun, I did everything I could to make the career change. I was working as a Pathologist Assistant making some pretty good money and took a pay cut that was so large I’d have never afforded it if it weren’t for the dual income my household had at the time.
I quit a good paying career with retirement benefits and turned my 15 minute commute into a 2 hour one. I even had a child just starting kindergarten that I had to deal with. This was all to get my foot in the door to become a community manager.
My first job was a site where you could create tributes/memorials for loved ones who died. I won’t knock it, it gave me paid experience which led me to other very awesome opportunities. One of which was being the Community Director at a site called Justin.tv back when it was only a team of seven.
Being the JTV community director was really everything I wanted out of a community management job and more. It gave me a lot of unique work and life experience I honestly don’t think I would have gotten anywhere else. I got to experience the extreme goods and bads of the work and came out a wiser and happier person.
So there you have it. The full story of why I decided to become a community manager. It was truly my dream job. I dreamed of being the person who was responsible for growing, shaping, fostering, and keeping an online community together.
I did it because I knew there were others out there who wouldn’t have had as much friendship and emotional support without the online communities they were a part of, and because I wanted to be a part of making any online community as happy as the ones I was apart of made me. But mostly, to get paid to play on the internet.
-
Repositories
-
Reading
-
Home Sweet Home
- San Francisco, CA, USA
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/TrtaUsg.png){kind=link}
