Frances.

• me: skips song by favorite band on ipod
• me:
• me:
• me: *feels guilty*
• me: *presses rewind*
• me: ok no i'm sorry mommy's here

leilennyb:

mngrcia:

Listening to this brought me tears. Honestly, I’ve thought about killing myself a lot of times already, but I always knew that it’s wrong. I always remember what Casey told me before, “What would happen to the people you left? What would happen to your parents, to your friends, to me?”

I’ve been battling this for a long time now, since I got diagnosed with Arrythmia. My reason before was, “I’ll be dead sooner or later.” I just hope I’ll get over this “suicide stage”. I know I won’t do it, though. It’s just the thoughts coming into my mind whenever I think I can’t do it anymore.

You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. Your parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate to leave. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, it’s the perfect time. You’re ready. If you don’t do it now, you’re gonna look down on yourself even more, forever. You’re going to hate yourself even more. No one knows, no one will know… until later on. Instead of getting a paper and a pen, you get the video camera, along with a chair. You’re standing on the chair. You decided to go with the rope… you’re gone instantly and there will be no noise. One side of the rope is tied to the top of your fan, while the other is already around your neck. You’re in tears, you know it’s for real this time. You can feel it. You turn on the video camera and just stare at the red light blinking upon your eyes. You start to mumble out a few words. “Mom and dad, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m sorry, but I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’ve lost myself and I seem to not find my way back. Please don’t blame yourself, please. I love you both, please tell my siblings the same. Stay strong, and stay save. I’ll see you all soon.” You say sorry to your best friend because you know you won’t be there for him anymore especially when he needs you more than ever. You say sorry to everyone you could think of… even yourself. You’re sorry for not being strong anymore. You’re sorry for breaking down. You’re sorry for putting them through so much pain in their life. You stare, once again, at the red light blinking upon your eyes. One foot is off the chair now as you begin to mouth the word goodbye. You have the remote control to turn off the camera in your right hand. Your pointer finger on the off button already. You clicked that button and as soon as you see that light go off, you go off. Both feet are now off the chair… the chair is on the floor… the room is filled with silence. You’re dead. You’re gone. There is no going back. Everything is over. You don’t have to live in pain anymore… but everyone else will. What are your parents going to think? What about your little brother, or little sister? What are they going to do? You’re gone. You’re dead. There is no going back. You ended your life because the person of your dreams only likes you asa friend. You ended your life because that one teacher was harder on you than anyone else in the class because she knew you’re the only one that is going somewhere in life. Your parents are home now. They call your name telling you their home, just like they normally do whenever they get home…. but something’s different. You don’t answer. They don’t hear your voice. They get worried… you always answer. They come upstairs thinking your sleeping or showering. Your mom opens your bedroom door and screams at the top of her lungs. She instantly passes out. Now your little sister comes up after her. She screams “DADDY HELP!!!!” She runs over to you hitting your leg begging you to wake up. “WAKE UP, WAKE UP. PLEASE STOP WAKE UP”. But you don’t answer, you’re not waking up. You’re gone. You’re dead. There is no waking up. Theres no going back. Your dad comes running upstairs and all he could do is stare. He watches his baby girl swing back and forth on a rope. He sees the video camera and he sees the chair. But he doesn’t move. He’s stiff as a board. He cries…. Your dad NEVER cries. He picks up the phone and calls 911. He can barely get the words “My daughter committed suicide” out of his mouth. He’s in tears. Your little sister stares at your dad. Your dad hangs up and your little sister jumps into your daddy’s arms, crying harder than ever. She’s too young to understand completely, but she knows you’re gone. She knows you’re dead. There is no going back. Everything is over. The cops finally arrive. They push your dad and sister out of your room and sit them in the living room. They take your body down off those ropes and lay you on the stretcher. They cover your body and out you go… just like that. You’re gone. You’re dead. There’s no going back. Nothing is the same. Two weeks have passed and your mom still stares out the window more than half of the day. Your little sister still hasn’t returned to school. Your dad is forced to go to work so he can pay all the bills for your wake and funeral. Eventually, they found to strength to go into your room. Your door hasn’t been open for months. The rope is still laying on the floor and the video camera is still sitting on the table. They don’t even dare to watch the video, it will never be seen. They slowly pick up the rope and throw it in the garbage. Chills run up their spine, your mom basically in tears. They brush off your bed, making it neat… like they used to do every morning after you went to school. Your bed was made and your room was clean. They shut the door, and it remained shut. Your school is still in distress. You thought no one cared and you thought no one noticed you. The girl that said no to being your lab partner, yeah she cuts every single night now because she thinks it’s her fault you died. The boy that tripped you by accident and didn’t say sorry, yeah he’s in suicidal therapy 5 days a week in a hospital because he feels a smile could of saved your life and he didn’t give that to you. The teacher that was hard on you that day, she quit her job because she felt she wasn’t suited to teach anymore. You’re gone. You’re dead. There’s no going back. 4 years have passed. Your little sister is now 15 years old. She started a club in her school dedicated to you. “Secrets” is what he calls it. The club is formed for kids to speak their hearts, without anyone judging them. They can say anything they want to, and talk about anything they needed to. If they were suicidal, they always had someone. That was your problem. You didn’t want to talk to anyone. You had everything bottled up inside of you. You acted as if you were the happiest kid on the planet and you had the perfect life. You played that character so well that even you started to believe it. You would be so “happy” and as soon as you layed in bed at night, the thoughts came back. A little fight between you and your parents could have set you off. But with everything inside of you bottled up for years, it hit your limits. You’re gone. You’re dead. There’s no going back. Your room will never be occupied. Your mom still cries every single night. Your dad isn’t as strong as he used to be. Your little sister will never grow up with you by her side moving her in the right direction. Your best friend is still torn up. Your school now has a club dedicated to you so teens will not make the same mistake you did. Your life was precious and you took it away in the blink of an eye. All you needed was a smile, that’s all you needed. But since you’re gone, just know people cared. People always have cared. You were just way too upset to see that. You were just too caught up in the fact that you thought no one cared… when the truth was, more people cared about you that you ever thought they would. Your town will never be the same. A girl is gone, a special girl who thought no one cared. Everyone cared. I promise you. They care, they always have cared. We loved you, and no matter what, we will still always love you. Reblog this if you are against suicide.

Tears. OMG. Tears. I tried stopping them, but it didn’t work.

I know it isn’t like me to commit suicide and all that but truth be told, I actually sometimes think “What would happen if I die?” as I stare at some random thing and think of how that thing could possibly kill me or even as I just randomly stand at the MRT station waiting for the train to arrive, thinking of what will happen if I suddenly trip into the train tracks or while walking at the city’s overpass, thinking of what will happen if I lose balance and fall into the bustling roads a hundred feet below.

Sometimes, I even ask people “What will you do if I die?” Cliche. I know. But I really am curious of how they’ll be if they don’t have me in their life. Who would genuinely be sad and who wouldn’t care at all?

How do I remove these thoughts off of my mind? Think of all the loved ones that I’ll be leaving. Think of all the things and moments that I have yet to achieve and experience. Think of the thousands of people that I have yet to make happy. Think of how honored I am to have God give me this life that I am now living. A lot of people want me to live on. God wants me to live on. Therefore, I shall.

• me: aw yeah let's start this year right!
• crs: loading
• me: can't wait to see them classes!
• crs: loading
• me: let's go enlist some bitches!
• crs: loading
• me:
• crs: the server at crs.upd.edu.ph is taking too long to respond.
• me:
• crs:
• me:
• crs:
• me:
• crs:
• me: BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT ME OOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! (alternately: we could have had it all)

bemine-inparadise:

amazingasyouare:

black and white blog!

sciencecenter:

Hubble captures first pictures of auroras on Uranus

NASA’s Hubble space telescope has captured the first images of auroras on the ice giant Uranus.

Uranus, the seventh planet from the sun, is an oddball world. At some point in its past, the planet appears to have been knocked on its side, so now its “North Pole” sits where the equator on most planets is located.

The newly observed auroras — seen as tiny white dots in the image above — underscore just how strange Uranus really is.

Auroras, also known as the Northern Lights, appear on Earth when the solar wind – a stream of charged particles emanating from the sun — interacts with our planet’s magnetic field. While terrestrial auroras appear as giant green curtains of light and may last hours, the auroras seen recently on Uranus were relatively small and stuck around only a few minutes.

Scientists don’t know much about Uranus’ magnetic field because it has only been investigated in detail once, 25 years ago when the Voyager 2 satellite zoomed by. At that time, Voyager detected auroras but Earth-based attempts to reexamine the atmospheric phenomenon on Uranus have all failed since.

naturalhaze:

glowingcoconuts:

limon-cello:

my mantra

thats me

got on my chanel and louis vuitton’s ready to take on another day.

the-absolute-best-posts:

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jariebravo:

Standing up:

Sneezing:

Coughing:

Laughing:

Existing for those 5 horrible days:

☺More Laughs Here.

AHAHAHAHA. KINGINA. BENTA.

• normal people: boy/girl problems
• me: wifi connection problems

distillled:

janice ian

→ chinen yuuri at the sword of the stranger press conference.

mindymaygan:

Print it out, and read it everyday.