That Damn Honey

HAHA I say this all the time, though. But then again, I’ve never had a migraine.

asiancracker:

I see this on my dash a lot.. but what the hell. If I have a headache (especially a migraine) I am definitely not in the mood to get busy. Pain does not an amorous mood create. And actually the movement is likely to make me want to throw up.

I’m trying…

Everyone was loud, laughing, talking, chattering away. Mostly drunk but also high on the night air. We all got along so well, especially me with this guy I met for 5 minutes a few months ago and hadn’t given up trying to meet up with me.

We got off the escalator, us leading the way. Our 4 friends trailing behind us. He took my hand. He’d been doing that the whole night.

“I’m going to Vegas in November,” he said. “You should come.”

Awkward.

It’s all so very awkward how you often know just when to show up to poop in my party. I can do that well enough on my own.

You call as soon as I’m interested in someone else. It’s like you can just smell it and it’s even beyond your understanding why we continue to take place.

“He wants to go to [popular dress-like-a-skanky-asian] club”

“That’s perfect.”

“Yea? How come? It’s gonna be crowded and annoying and I’d have to dress up.”

” because you’ll know exactly where you stand. If he holds onto you the whole night, then he wants a relationship. if he doesn’t, then you’re just the back up booty call.”

” oh okay. That makes a lot of sense.”

” you’d probably be a lot happier as the booty call, anyway.”

I laughed. Asshole.

” you can handle it. I know you, this won’t faze you,” he continued. ” but, from what I see, he’s going to want a relationship.”

Where are those drums that go dun dun dunnn at this moment?

[09:57] Kels: sounds like you need to let your brick and cement wall down a bit and let him dazzle you. He may be young, but he may be just what you need in your life right now… I know you don’t do it often, but maybe now is you “often” time to do it ;-)

[09:58] Honey: steel, darling. i upgraded to steel walls. it was quite an investment and i’m not sure i wanna ruin the nice glossy finish for a kid i just met. ;-)

He pulled me close to lay my head on his chest with his arm around me.

” what’s on your mind? You can tell me anything, you know.”

He stared at me, waiting. I propped myself up on my forearms and looked back at him.

I can’t tell him anything. He’s a kid. He’s already a liability just by being here. Yeah, he’s an adult, but he’s still way too young for me.

“Is THAT why you were laughing???!” I squealed, also laughing at the moment.

He laughed even harder. “I had never seen you that way. You were all close and touchy…”

I interrupted. “You’ve seen me with Kryptonite and I was like that all the time!”

“That’s different. You were together for, like, 20 years. This did not look like you guys were on your 2nd or 3rd date. You looked like a COUPLE.”

“We weren’t.” I corrected him, although not feeling very smug about it. “I met him a couple of months ago and this is the first time we were able to reconnect since then. I barely got to spend time with him that first time.”

He just about died. “THAT’S EVEN WORSE!!!!” He cracked up even harder.

” Honey, those are lock down questions.”

”What?” I said. An automatic reply. I knew what he meant but I didn’t get why.

“Sweetie, you don’t ask about someone’s relationship history and where they see themselves in 5 years if you’re not trying to lock it down.”

That made sense. I had thought he was just making conversation, but I can see where this applies.

He continued, “Just remember: He’s young and he’s gonna go through about 5 million girls before he settles down. I don’t want you to get attached.”

I nod. Hm.

“You should just do it.”

LOL. Ass.

He advises on all the wrong things. The guy is one of my ex’s closest friends. Or - at least - at one time he was. The last time I spoke to him, it seemed like they weren’t that close anymore. We had spent a lot of time together back in the day, though.

“I’d wreck him,” I said. “He came a little too close to me one day and gave me a little too long of a hug and I almost took him down.”

I laughed. You don’t touch your ex’s friends, man. No matter the fuck what. LOL. No matter the fuck what. That’s just wrong.

And, as a friend, MY friend - he’s advising me that the man wants me, so I should just do it.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

” I guarantee you if he moves to la, he won’t have a girlfriend anymore. He doesn’t wanna move closer to her but he would want to move to la? Watch. You’ll be close and she won’t be any more convenient, it’s gonna be you instead of her when that happens.”

Yeesh, it was lecture day.

They never keep such promises. :) But, that’s okay, too, sometimes.

“He’s my ex’s friend.”

“Doesn’t matter. He definitely wants to fuck you.”

What is going on with the world?

He had a point, though. He had many good points, many of which were my own suspicions being confirmed. I made a face. I almost wanted him to say I was crazy, except I’d prefer not to be crazy. But which was the lesser evil here?

Ick, I thought. Except… I was strangely attracted to this guy for a while. I won’t go through the reasons that brought us to that conclusion. We debated it to death.

As we walked to dump our drinks in the rubbish, he added, “you should just do it.”

“Hell no,” I said. “I couldn’t do that to him.”

“The past is done, Honey. We must all learn to move on.”

You have a twisted sense of half truths.

“If he could have just accepted you for who you are, he would’ve woken up and realized that he had it so good. I’m just waiting for him to wake up one day, realize he had the perfect girlfriend, and ask himself, ‘how do I keep this girl forever?’”

It was supposed to be real talk, so he clawed at my soul. It was a really big IF, a really big WOULD’VE. I smiled and laughed my practiced soulless stare. I waved the comment away.

I honestly believe that the only reason you hate on him so hard is because I would prefer to sleep with him instead of you.

Ass.

LMAO

So, my friend gets pulled over for speeding to meet up with me. Cop sees that he’s wearing a Knick’s shirt and asks if he’s from NY. Friend says no, but that he’s a fan.

Cop asks why he was speeding. Friend says, “I gotta be honest with you. I’m on my way to a date. I’m late. I’ve fucked it up a couple of times and I can’t be late.”

Cop looks at my friend’s hand. “You’re married. What are you doing going out on a date?”

Friend laughs. “We’re not all perfect.”

Cop laughs and let’s him go, but adds, “if you had been wearing a Lakers shirt, I would’ve given you the ticket right away.”

End.

P.S. we are not on a date. He was just being a douche.

LOL.

it was too good to be true, i knew it. and here, i thought i had found a replacement.

Oh, man. He’s intensely attractive. What have I done?

He’s begging me to go back.

Maybe. No.

I’m not ready yet. I probably never will be and it’ll probably be neither here nor there when I do. When I go back, it’ll be by accident, by chance, and by a twisted humor moment of karma, fate, or the devil. They always show up in the shiniest of places just to shit on your parade.

It’s a trick. It has to be.

I thought you were doing a hit and run, but I guess you’re back in the mode. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again so soon.

I need a smoke.

• Stitch: hey
• Stitch: im staring at this girl right now
• Stitch: that reminds me of u
• Stitch: thought id say hello

• Stitch: yeh im proly gettin a roommate
• Stitch: to save on rent
• Stitch: did u wanna room it up?
• Honey: lol i think we'd kill each other.

Straight, bi, gay…. I think I’m none of the above but just purely opportunistic.

Me: “I wish you were here so I could hit you.”

Stitch: (pause. stares.) “I wish I was there, too.”

%$#&!%#&!!!!

I.

Hate.

You.

The thing about being an emotional robot is….

That people read wayyyy too much into you so they can justify and pretend to understand where you’re coming from, not to actually understand you, but to make THEMSELVES feel better. It has nothing to do with trying to see ME, but it has everything to do with justify why they are nothing to me and my life.

You give me good laughs. Some people are semi-accurate, some are completely off. Regardless of accuracy, they are all always stabs in the dark.

You funny, funny morons, you.

” K. I just dont get u. U just shut people out as soon as they start getting close to u. I just wish I knew what it was that makes u shut people out when they get close. I know ur dad not being there hurt and I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for u. But I can’t picture being happy living life so shut of. Its like don’t be scared that a guy would leave. Even if it happened to u in life when u got older also. No matter how hard I tried to be there for you I just guess I have to deal with it that I can’t help u no matter how much I want to be there for u. As [friend] says I hope u find happiness.”

Hey… Idiot. Maybe it’s just that I don’t like you. Ever thought about that? Because that’s what it is. 0_o Wierdo.

sarcasticindiefucks:

play nice, kids

reblog if you wish

http://okayeverybody.tumblr.com

email: justastupidemail0@gmail.com

pw: password

Ooooooh, gotta check this out later…

Jess… I wanted this, but with plumerias. Remember?

solipsism-n-swag:

 The emotional integrity of a relationship can lie in the experience of it alone and not necessarily in its outcome or ultimate resolution. In other words, there’s a very French willingness to accept that a relationship might not necessarily go anywhere in particular — no closure, no marriage — but that it still might be an essential and necessary experience of love and being human.

Things I need to remember.

I love the view going in to work. It makes traffic okay.

Seeing my tumblr timeline bombarded with solipsism-n-swag and ars-memorativa…. Makes my heart smile.

Kryptonite. You live on.