Steven Crowder

For this video, I wanted to do something that Conservatives had never done before. I wanted to create a stand-alone, kick-butt music single that also happened to be coming from Conservatives.

So I headed on down to Shock City Studios in Saint Louis, owned by Chris Loesch, with nothing more than a concept. The idea; what if the founding fathers rose from the dead only to see how badly we’ve screwed things up? What you now see is the fruit of hard working professionals as well as the inability to pay our rap-video sirens in anything more than sandwiches.

Note: No women were actually objectified during the making of this video. Not while they were looking.

The leftist Hollywood machine is in full force this season, as we’ve seen with both the Bachmann/Fallon incident and more recently, Miley Cyrus’ new foray into political commentary. The fact is that when it comes to the entertainment industry, liberals need to stick together (and attack conservatives) … especially if you can’t sing or act, or in Cyrus’ case, if you can do neither … and sound like Selma and Patty Simpson.

Note: No Miley Cyrus songs were actually listened to during the making of this video. Earmuffs!

My followers on twitter know I’m an avid follower of mixed martial arts (MMA). As a pathetic attempt at a submission grappler myself, it would be reasonable to assume that I’d be first in line to see “Warrior.” Truth be told, I avoid MMA movies like the plague. Prior to this film, the MMA genre was relegated to nothing more than straight-to-DVD filler whose voluminous presence in the bargain bin was surpassed only by the increasingly fluorescent Steven Seagal. I’d hate to see the world’s purest sport sullied by the likes of Degrassi dropouts and pretty boy soap stars, and so I was dragged to “Warrior” kicking and screaming.

Not only did I leave the multiplex misty-eyed and exhausted from the film’s emotional gut punch… but more strikingly, for the first time in a very long while, Hollywood made me feel truly proud to be a man.

Much like the sport of MMA, men in modern America are often misunderstood. One needs look no further than the hilariously ignorant review of “Warrior” from Andrew O’Hehir of Salon.com in which he describes MMA as “a theatrical hybrid of boxing, wrestling and kung fu.”

Ummm, no.

Firstly, Kung Fu plays little role in MMA aside from that of a debunked joke that died in 1993 when the sport birthed stars like Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock. Also, as anyone who’s watched the sport can attest, MMA is often not theatrical at all. To the untrained eye, its game of human chess often looks like nothing more than two sweaty, bloody masses dry-humping each other into oblivion.

More importantly, elitist leftists like Andrew (who went on to call the movie a “pseudo-individualist, sub-Freudian, Tea Party-friendly fantasy”) seem to have little grasp of what it is to be a man in this century. Don’t worry, little guy, I’ll help you out.

Despite what feminists have peddled and regardless of whether one lives in a dual-income household, men will always burden themselves with the responsibility of providing for their family. Sustaining and protecting our kin can be seen as either our birthright, or our cross to bear. I can’t think of this ideal being better crystallized in recent memory than through the character of Brendan Conlon in “Warrior.”

A struggling ex-fighter-turned-teacher trying to support a family during a recession, Brendan returns to fighting as a means of keeping the family home. He falls firmly under the male archetype as being the head of the household, but more importantly he loves, honors and respects his wife. He exhibits a loving leadership over his household, but never dominance. “Everything I do is for them,” he says in a powerful scene, explaining his need to fight. His masculinity is that of a quiet strength, not that of an Affliction T-shirt wearing, nightclubbing, pseudo-macho uber-douche.

Enter the characters of his brother Tommy, and his father (played by Nick Nolte in the best performance of the year). One is a tattooed, drug-addled, super-athlete with anger issues and a checkered military past, the other is a former alcoholic/abusive father who’s now trying to get his life straight.  Unlike Brendan, they’ve both crumbled under the pressure of manhood, having lost their way and because of it, are now chasing redemption.  That in and of itself is a huge part of being a man; bettering one’s self. Not only to honor those who love you most, but because it is through trials and failure that we develop into true men.

**small spoiler below**

It is in the grinding legwork, the necessary selflessness and the understated self-improvement that we become men and it’s something of which each and every real man should be proud. “Warrior” bears no shame in celebrating this ideal for the viewer. One of the most powerful lines in the film, is when Brendan is in his corner, down on the scorecards in the last round of his most significant fight yet: 

“You want to go home?  … you don’t knock him out, you have no home.”

Sound cliché and unrealistic? Just ask Fedor Emelianenko, the greatest fighter of all time who once explained of his dominance: 

“Years ago we hardly had anything to eat… I see every opponent as a man that tries to put me back to that poorer period. That man has to be eliminated.” 

Thank God for real men.

Bill Maher recently complained that “We can’t throw around the word (sexist) just to stop people like me from point out that Michelle Bachmann, now running second for the Republican presidential nomination, is a dangerous nincompoop.” Hm, sort of sounds like the argument of “racism” used toward Obama detractors doesn’t it? 

This video explains the subject in a little more depth: 

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Note: No trash-talking cowards were actually pummeled during the making of this video.

When Ben Shapiro approached me, asking me to put a face to the anti-conservative, discriminatory practices in Hollywood (along with providing tangible examples), I had no idea what I was in for. “Sure, I can just send you the most recent one that comes to mind,” I said flippantly. Well here we are, two weeks later, manager-less and having ticked off one of the most powerful men in comedy.

Eh, it’s Hollywood folks. What can ya do?

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See, this isn’t about me. I’m fortunate enough to have a career and the ability to make my voice relatively public, but what about the people starting out, the people who haven’t yet discovered their own voice and instead decide to remain forever silent? What about the people behind the scenes, like my now former-manager who are forced to decide between acquiescing to the liberal establishment or representing their clients as they were hired to do?

Also, what about the pet rock? Whatever happened to those?

You’ve heard about it, now you get to see it first-hand. Here we have a senior producer at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart shutting somebody out specifically for being right-of-center. The person…? Yours truly.

Listen, I’m not one of those folks who yells “free speech” every time I don’t get my way. Jon Stewart’s program is a private entity and they can do whatever they damn well please. Just know this from here on out; if you have a different point of view than Jon Stewart… you don’t get to work with Jon Stewart.

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If I were to have told you five years ago that somewhere in the near future, we would see a candidate whisked into office not based on any previous political accomplishments, not for any stellar track record with the American public, but by the sheer magnitude of his celebrity… 

   …Wait, did I just describe the Barack Obama circa ’08 or did I just describe Donald Trump? 

Let me first state that this is not an endorsement, nor a prediction regarding Donald Trump’s viability as a presidential candidate. I have no idea as to whether an iconic walking haircut with teeth can be elected to the Oval office, but the more I think about it, the less it would surprise me. What is important is that we remember this; Barack Obama the politician was never elected to office. Barack Obama the celebrity was. 

The Barack Obama with arguably the most far-left track record in the senate and when he wasn’t voting radically left, he voted a mere “present” at least one hundred and twenty nine times… America didn’t know a thing about that Barack Obama. The Barack Obama who graced the covers of men’s magazines, Hollywood tabloids and was declared “vewwyy sexy” by Barbara Walters, that’s the man who leads this country.  He had one thing that no other candidate had and that was his status as a pop-culture icon. 

That’s his game-changer, his golden ticket and against The Donald, Barack Obama loses the only trump card he’s ever had. 

See what I did there? 

Donald Trump takes a backseat to no one when it comes to celebrity (his fearful limo driver notwithstanding). The man was raised wealthy but he set out to garner his own fame. A larger than life character with a polarizing demeanor, everybody knows the Trumpster and they know him well. 

As a nine year old, I thought Donald Trump was an absolute jackass. I’d read a magazine interview in GQ where he said something to the effect of “After shaking somebody’s hand, I would never eat bread.”  Was he just that arrogant, or does he have a world-class sense of humor?  Over twelve years later, I’m still not sure. One thing remains unchanged; I know who Donald Trump is. Whether it’s his number-one rated show on NBC (as he reiterates in every interview he’s ever had) or his list of best-selling books, Trump has created the kind of single-name recognition that few manage to cultivate. 

More importantly, it’s becoming more seemingly clear that Donald Trump could just be Obama’s Buster Douglas.  

Once a legendary figure of the boxing ring, Mike Tyson ruled the fighting arena.  Most importantly, Iron Mike struck so much fear into the hearts of his opponents that one could easily see in the stare-down that they’d had lost the match before the bell had even been rung. That all changed with Douglas. Buster Douglas went in with nothing to lose, and a willingness to engage that Tyson had never seen before. Buster went in and bullied the bully. The Bully was baffled. 

That’s Donald Trump today. Whether it’s his raising of the once taboo birth certificate issue (and turning it into a mainstream discussion while doing it), or his running roughshod over Meredith Viera exposing her liberal bias in the process, Donald Trump has shown a willingness to take center-ring like no other candidate in recent memory. He has no fear of the president and win, lose or draw, he’s going to get right in his punim. 

Most importantly, Mr. Trump genuinely has nothing to lose. He doesn’t need the money, he doesn’t need the power and he certainly doesn’t need the fame. It seems that Donald Trump genuinely thinks the country is “going to hell” and simply doesn’t want to wait on the sidelines as it happens. 

Can he win?  Who knows? One thing’s for sure; if Barack Obama makes this another election placing personality over substance, celebrity over accomplishments, I can see only one outcome… Barack Obama, you’re fired.

Here it is, folks. My brother’s first feature film. Contrary to popular belief, it was in fact, not a low budget film.  It was a no budget film.  That’s the beauty of the online content. Today, young filmmakers no longer have to acquiesce to the gate-keeping entertainment establishment.  That’s good news for conservatives, and good news for America. Once upon a time, it was Hollywood that gave your picture the proverbial thumb of Caesar, telling you whether it lived or died. Think of this; If a couple of college students could shoot this film over five years ago, without so much as two nickels to rub together, imagine what you could do.  There’s no excuse. Get out there, shake things up and enjoy the film!

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“Bend & Break” explores young relationships and the cluelessness of men in search of direction. Set in beautiful Montréal, a group of twenty-somethings struggle through the misguided awkwardness that comes with early romance. They learn the value of personal responsibility, stick-to-itiveness and that in the end, becoming a man is pretty hard. The themes should be universal but they’ll without a doubt resonate with conservatives more than most modern leftists.

Bryce meets a French girl one day in the city. Jules runs into an old flame he has secretly been in love with for years. Blake realizes that his friend’s sister is suddenly “all grown up” and these young men are forced to come to grips with the unknown… women.

In the quirky vein of Diner and The Brothers McMullen, this ensemble-driven comedy will endear itself to anyone who has suffered and savored being a young adult.

Do you know how they catch monkeys in Taiwan (and parts of India)?  A trap is set with a banana. The monkey saunters on by, reaches into said trap, and grabs the banana. The monkey – now with his fist clenched around the banana – can no longer remove his hand. At any point, he could opt to let go of the banana and run free, but instead he is trapped.  Hilarious isn’t it?

Bill Maher is that monkey.

See, Bill Maher’s a smart guy. None of us can deny that. A nuisance at worst, a more than worthy adversary at best, Bill Maher is the kind of intellectual whose worst enemy is his own pride. Smart people generally don’t make intellectual miscalculations; they make careless errors.  Sometimes, a mistruth is so often repeated in society that even smart folk like Maher accept it as fact. A good example would be Bill Maher’s constant claim that the Bible encourages slavery and the founding fathers were anti-Christian.

Firstly, Bill would be right to say that the founding fathers were anti-religion.  One could say the same thing about most pastors heading churches throughout the United States today. A disdain for man-made religion does not equal a hate for personal faith in God. 

As a matter of fact, oftentimes as one grows in their relationship with God, they find themselves saddened by the state of the modern church. People like John Adams and Benjamin Franklin (the same people whom Maher loves to quote) would be perfect, powdered-wig crystallizations of religion-hating, God-fearing Christians. A simple glance through the founding documents or personal journals of the founding fathers confirms it.

As for the Bible being a rampantly pro-slavery piece of literature… false.  It’s true that there are passages in the Bible dealing with slavery, which when read in modern America without the proper context, seem cringeworthy at best. Nowhere in the bible, however, is there an open-ended encouragement of the practice and in multiple places, being what we would consider slavery today is thoroughly condemned.

See, we have to understand that the slavery referred to in the Bible is most often not slavery as we know it today. In both Old and specifically New Testament times, people would go into slavery themselves if they were unable to pay their debts, or unable to pay their own cost of living (which would then be covered by their master). They would have more in common with a lower class worker or a college student still mooching off of their parents than the race-based slavery we’ve known in the Western world.

A prime example of where one does see race-based slavery in the Bible, is when a little group of people were enslaved by the Egyptians solely because they were Hebrew (Exodus 13:14). Anyone know what happened next?

Anyone? Anyone?

…God was pretty ticked. Angry enough to bring the freaking plagues. [Note: They were kind of a big deal.]

The Bible also does address the act of “man stealing,” (exactly the kind of thing that Africans did to their own people) and had this to say about it: “Anyone who kidnaps another and either sells him or still has him when he is caught must be put to death” (Exodus 21:16).

God then went on to put such folks in the same category as murderers and rapists. I guess you could say he had a thing about that.

In the end, don’t blame Bill Maher.  He’s just accepting common mistruths because he doesn’t know any better… and nobody will tell him. Maybe he needs an uneducated, God-loving, gun toting, tea-partying, redneck in his Hollywood entourage.  You know… just to keep him in the know.