audio.visual
your mouth forms a heart
cherry blossoms spring up now
they follow us home
s.s.
*look in the mirror and laugh until you start crying or cry until you start laughing.
*bury something.
*play ‘california dreamin’ by the mamas & the papas. loud. dance. (word to wong kar wai.)
*write a love note on your wrist. kiss it once, tenderly.
*burn something.
*call someone that you’ve drifted away from and tell them exactly why you fell in love with them.
*watch the final scene from orfeu negro.
*sleep.
s.s.
grandmother #1
sings show tunes as she
sweeps pale rouge
across her porcelain cheeks.
grandmother #2
hums gently as henna drips
into the sink
staining her cinnamon fingers.
s.s.
i know that we
are the same
everywhere.
broke hearts
speak no language
scorn needs
no translation
vanity and ego
borderless.
i know
a kiss on the cheek can kick
start a heart
a hip hop show never
starts on time
no matter where you live.
when the beat drops
i know
that collective nod, how it connects
lives.
i know women hold
truth
all of our truths
i know
blood spills
unceremoniously
every moment.
that children are unspoiled
reminders
of our potential.
i know that we are the same
everywhere.
s.s.
a freewrite using the line ‘i shall paint his silence with seeds’ from sonia sanchez’s ‘rebirth’.
i shall paint his silence with seeds
fill the vast darkness
with a thousand stars
connect them
achingly
make
a constellation
an illuminated wonder of our love
but i cannot guide his chin
tilt his eyes
upward
to see this beauty
a black sky
on fire
s.s.
an (un)eventful night.
woman one
made a mental list of all the lies she’s ever told.
woman two
in an effort to remember touch
purposefully reached for a hot iron
from the wrong end.
woman three
sleep-walked.
there are scratch marks along the wall
in the the hallway
where she dragged her fingernails
whispering
’habibi, habibi, where are you?‘
s.s.
hard
fearless
warrior
gangster
you wear that armour with pride, don’t you?
never mind pain. keep moving.
never mind pain. keep moving.
look at this mud, look at my scars, look at how i move you say.
truth will find you
hunt you
drag you
bend you
with her merciless grip.
do not guard hurt.
even hidden from light,
these things grow
like weeds.
s.s.
if we took all
of your stuff,
made a shrine,
you would cry.
you would still feel lonely.
s.s.
shadi reminds me that human beings are comprised mostly of water.
i say it aloud: we. are. water.
i imagine my body as the ocean
hips propel movement
waves gather
rise up
climb rib cage extend
foam hands that
colonize throat
heart bobs like a stubborn ship
avoiding whirlpool fate
as my entire being is
pulled like a marionette
by the loving moon.
s.s.
the first time she visited
it was a spring afternoon, not quite dusk
the air humid and sweet
sky clear.
an easy southern breeze tickled the mulberries,
creating a flurry of applause from the leaves
a thick layer of pollen covered everything from her mama’s boots
to the yellow carpeted cars that lined the street.
he made two cups of instant coffee (she watched him fumble)
then they strolled around the block
slow like molasses.
she remembers the way his long hands
held that porcelain
desperately wishing for him to cradle her
that way.
s.s.
-the freckle on the inside of her right palm
-the soft way she rolls her rrr’s
-how her shoulders move when he speaks to her
s.s.
a freewrite using the lyric the sun is in your hands, player from bilal’s sometimes
the sun is in your hands, player.
yellow
ripe
full.
sometimes bashful
sometimes brazen
long fingers
orbiting sphere
ushering dusk
with the tilt
of a palm
i am the light you hold.
s.s.
a freewrite inspired by ms. badu’s lyric:
i’m a recovering undercover over lover / recovering from a love i can’t get over
i.
these
lips bruise(d)
elbows bruise(d)
spine aches with memory.
my body covered in constellations,
& we the stars.
i’m a recovering undercover over lover / recovering from a love i can’t get over
ii.
his neck,
smells like home.
collar bones stand proud
like the mast of a great sea vessel
his breath a calm tide.
that voice travelled lifetimes to get to my ear
across the delta,
over ocean,
it tastes like salt wind in my mouth.
i’m a recovering undercover over lover / recovering from a love i can’t get over
iii.
i choose leaving.
walk away,
like a waterfall.
wishing my hands were in your hair,
mapping your face.
the wind splits direction
its coldest tail follows me home,
scent fills me with cloud.
i lay down
concrete breathes blue against my cheek
cobblestones form an armor as
my heart beats
in time with the city.
s.s.
your womb hands
play my spine
like bass
radiating sun
heat
charging ions
i am clay
you are kiln
these heartbeat hands
sigh against my body
as we hover
like light
s.s.
in the city
wounded boys
grow sideways
their bodies twisting curving
leaning, stretching, yearning
their dreams float
fragile like balloons
they sway through these streets
limbs hang
tenderly
like neglected branches
now
these half men
reach weary arms into windows
find open doors
seek empty beds
wanting warm laps
sweet tea and
love and love
without ever loving.
s.s.