Sara Sofea
Indecisive is my middle name, awkwardness is my game
Dreams .- Minion Dave
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- Sara Sofea
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- Mar 26, 13
the guy ive been talking abt all this long is Hakim Hafidz. meh this has became sorta like my private diary so might as well. no one's gonna find this anyway
- Mar 25, 13
three months and im still here baby, still here after all the pain.
three months after all the shit and im still standing baby actually wanting more to get myself standing back up again.
I think the best way to define what I feel right now is raw, eager, and careless. I'll explain:-
Raw from all the pain. Almost vulnerable. I've fallen in the deep deep end of the pit more than once and i've also climbed out more than once. I've not only fallen, i've risen. And hell the light isn't as comforting as the dark. My feelings for that one guy still remains, but I've gotten to the point that no, I'm thinking about myself for once. He is no longer a priority, I am now a person on a standing based mostly of myself. No longer him. By raw, I also mean I am vulnerable, and that's not necessarily a bad thing too. I've been torn, not only by him but by my friends too. I'm not saying it's their fault, but I'm not saying it's my fault too. But that's okay, this builds me to the person I'm going to be. One day I'm going to not repeat all these mistakes and pain simply because I saw the signs. Vulnerability is okay, it makes me raw and it makes me feel and it makes me tap to some part of me that will know otherwise. I don't know how to explain, but this is part of what I feel. Raw
I'm eager. Eager for new things, almost eager for new pain. I admit pain is you know, hurtful, but there is something about pain that sorta accepts you. A thing about darkness that I've learnt. I'm eager for love, eager to feel that again, new friends new boyfriend(s). A way to move forward. New experiences and new doors. I don't wanna be stuck on routines because it's sickening and it'a tragedy. Doing the same thing over and over again. I've learnt something, even if we're trapped in a routine, the way our mind thinks doesn't necessarily mean it's trapped too. And that's what I'm eager for, a free mind, a free experience. Freedom to my soul.
Careless, not reckless. to not give an actual and single fuck because i don't anymore. I've changed my perspective. Right now, I've set myself a new point of view. People come and go. What they feel comes and goes. Why would I worry then, if it's not forever? Screw people, yes i've become that person. Everyone has their own opinions, and how stupid it is we have to respect that. Unless it goes to the extreme, well that's a diffrent story. I choose my own reaction to things now. I feel labels are a waste of time and a waste of energy. Everyone is god fucking same. We're not different and we're not any lesser than anyone. We were born the same and we die the same. I choose to not let people's thoughts faze me because of this. They have no absolute right over me, I do.
Speaking of careless, I am sick and so superbly sick of the norm. So sick of routines. I feel like no one is themselves anymore and they do not even realize it. I wanna be my own damn self, and I want my children to be their own damn selves too. I can wear blassing eyeshadow around my nose if i want to. It's my right to feel and be myself. And to be myself is to be different. TO NOT BE NORMAL. I'm sick of that.
THIS IS A FUCKED UP AND WORTHLESS POST BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEAS RIGHT NOW AND I'M WATCHING NEW GIRL - Feb 08, 13
It's something. Something I cannot explain. I've come so far, and no I do not like him. It's emptier. It's numbness but not. I'm backsliding, because he was the only person who has ever come as close to actually being synonymous to me. Even you, dear best friend, we're not a synonym anymore. I know I'm ever-changing, and I'm not the same person I was, hell maybe a month ago, but it's just so good to seek comfort in something good that happened. Something, a reality better than where I am. I know, if I were to run back to him, he wouldn't actually be as compatible as me as we were, but again, it's just so good to have believe in someone, or something who was as me as I am. And if you were to say I have friends, well it's not like I don't, but, no one, no one actually gets me. At all. Name me one person, or a close friend and I will tell you why we won't click. But the fact is I'm literally in a place with a 1000 other people, and no one, the possibility that not one person can actually feel the same as I do. And it's not even their fault, because they're who they are. It's just that alone-ness, and the fact that I'm gonna be stuck in this deep end, this deep hole for a year, probably more. A hole, trapped inside with no source of light, no possibility of getting out.
It's not even numbness, it's mixed. it's like you're getting to actually feel a bit, but at the same time not. Maybe I've gone to the middle of this road between moving on and not, and I can't see the way forward or backwards. or maybe I'm almost there, and I'm just looking behind at the things that I'll miss. We're not even together, I bet my ass he won't get me as I am now. But it's just so rewarding to realize that someone has come close. It's the nothingness that holds me, pathetic really. I cannot admit that I like him, or have stable feelings for him. Because I don't. And it's not just him, it's everybody. I just want to get out of this hole. - Jan 29, 13
Good evening/morning/afternoon/noon/dawn/daybreak/whenever you're reading this,
I've been wanting to write this since like forever and I've been putting it off for a long time, so here I am.
Equality; according to the Oxford Dictionary built in my laptop, is
the state of being equal, esp. in status, rights, and opportunities
The state of being equal. And this topic just makes me pissed off most times, because however hard we try to be 'fairly just' or 'equal', we never are to the people RIGHT IN FRONT OF US.
Let me ask you something, assuming my readers are Malaysians, what do you think of the Banglas, the Indons, the Myanmars and most foreigners working in our country? We most likely won't even give two cents about them. We most likely will
a) ignore their presence
b) command them to do whatever, expecting them to just follow to our commands
c) talk bad about them
d) do very mean things when they cross us.
How uncool is this? Imagine us in their place, imagine our MOTHERS in their place. Horrible, isn't it. Why do we look so down upon them? Because they work for us? Because they have a lower status than us? That is just plain unfair. Let me tell you a situation I was in, I was at school, accompanying my friend to the toilet, when I see the cleaners at school with their child, all clad in their kindergarten uniform having the world in their eyes. And what do we do about this? Not only do we insult the mother of the child, the cleaner, we treat the child poorly, we do not even acknowledge them. I feel pity, I feel like the child, he'll learn to grow up in a more meaner and poorer state than we are, and how we treat the child will make it worser. The child will grow up knowing that WE have CONTROL over him. WE OWN him. That isn't right. Do we grow up like that? Have you ever wondered how it would feel?
I realize that some of these foreigners have in fact disturbed the peace in our country, and make it more... unsafe. But does it ever occur to you that not all of these foreigners are like that? Most of the time I see honest decent men trying to make a living, just like our fathers. They are honest decent men too, trying to make a living in a FOREIGN country, away from home, family and all. Sure they're different and they do different jobs than we do, does that give us the right to discriminate them? In a way, their sacrifice is so much larger than any of us can ever make, they left their home, their safe haven, their family in search of money and something for a base for their children to grow. But what do we do, we treat them like trash. Like animals. Literally.
An observation I made, we value talent and beauty than effort and hard work. It's another thing unfair about us, we value all these things more. And sure enough, when it happens to us, to let our hard work go to waste to someone who naturally has that talent or specialty, we'd feel bumped. Let's take this observation and apply this to everyone and everywhere else.
I'm just saying, these things need to be noticed, and stop. How can we fight and say things like " We should treat the people in the lower classes just like the ones in the higher classes, they're humans too" when we are also blind to the unjust in front of us? Starting today, I'm making a pledge, to try to change myself. To not simply judge, if we do not know the whole story, to not judge a person by their appearance, everyone is in the end human. I'll change my ways, this is a pledge. Would you join in this conquest? - Jan 28, 13
I miss you like crazy.
I need you like crazy.
I want you like crazy.
But you don't love me the same way.
I'm trying to move on, I'm trying so hard, but I miss you, and we're not even talking, and it hurts. I need you right now and I'm trying not to burst but I'm just needing you
No other words that I can utter, all that I've always felt I've either written it or talked about it, to myself
PLEASE, come back to me. PLEASE, we can have it all. We have more chemistry than anything, than the stars and the moon itself. Please come back to me, please call me, I need you. I'll explain everything. Please please please what if you dont really need her like you need me. I'm gonna be there for you I promise. I'm trying so very hard to move on and I have no other option but to give in to you. Please come back to me.
Please, call me - Dec 23, 12Well greetings, and Merry Christmas I wish to all who are celebrating it and reading this post. Today I am going to post something out of my norm, but kind of in my norm, depending on the contents of this post, but it's gonna adequately be 'me'. I so desperately need to write a review about this movie, that the second I went out of the cinema, I asked my dad to buy me a notebook and a pen for me to jot my ideas down.Oh and, SPOILER ALERT!!!!I've recently caught this movie with my parents, since the reviews of how it is 'spectacular' and 'awesome'. I came thinking hey, this is just gonna be another Avatar woop-dee-woop. Oh how wrong was I. First up, I am slightly annoyed at GSC for making their advertisements running for like half an hour or more. Uncool. But the seats my dad chose were amazing so no complains there.To me, the movie can be divided into two parts; the philosophical spectacular at the end/beginning, or the visual effects spectacular in the middle of the movie. Both are, nevertheless spectacular.The starting is set up in India, New India, Pondicherry to be exact. So it wasn't much of a Slumdog Millionaire kinda thing, and it was nice for me for I have never actually seen in movies (I am quite lame) so it was a slight but good exposure to me. Piscine Patel (I have forgotten the full name) was named after a public swimming pool in France. According to his uncle, or 'Mamaji', the pool water is so clear that you could see yourself in it, or something. So yes, even pronouncing 'Piscine' can give you the idea of the teases probably given at the young boy. Until he figured out a way to turn the table, by associating his name with 'Pi', an equation, or something. What made him known, is for the fact that he memorized three blackboard's worth of numbers from this 'never ending' equation. Quite great if you ask me.Skipping a few parts, Pi's father was a 'New Indian'. he was one who did not believe in religion, for he saw what science could do. And his mother, believed in Science, but religion, Hindu, is her roots. That is her ground, how she comes back home. Pi at a young age discovered Hindu, just as us Muslims, how we read agama books and comics and know more. When he grew older, he was dared to drink the holy water at the church. Then a priest came to him, and explained Christ. He became curious, and his hunger for knowledge made him go back for more. See, a child's curiosity is never satisfied until he gets the exact hunger. Then, he found himself another source of faith. Then he stumbled upon a mosque, and he learnt the way of Islam. He learnt how to pray and described how when he prayed, the place that he stood became holy and he was at peace. which was true, as I have felt it at times.What really inspired me is the fact that he wanted to find a sense of faith, a sense of a rock to hold on to. All he has ever done is to find faith, which I find very extroadinary. He's confused, but he's kept an open mind and tried to find.. a sense of belonging. And a quote that my father said was very philisophical, from Pi's father "I'd rather you believe in something that I don't believe in rather than you accept everything". I have yet to figure out what it means by myself. And when Pi wanted to see the Richard Parker, again he was trying to find meaning. To see tranquility. My father asked me, "Do you think the tiger has a soul?" or something like that, immediately i answered "Yes he does, he reflects our emotions, he could feel as well as we could. Just like in the movie, and it's just he's distorted, he cannot express it in the ways we can"And then the ship sunk and Pi was forced on a life boat. I'd say it's a very sad scene, considering he has lost everything, literally his whole family and life and he had no time to grief about it and he was forced in another direction by God. And yes, the tiger did make him sane, it made him alert. It's very inspiring, but a bit slow at times.The visual effects are wonderful, beautiful the scene the water everything, magnificent.Well in the end, to be honest there are two ways to take the story. The one with the tiger and the one without (watch the movie and you'd know), and to me at first there was only a single side to the story. But my mother chose to believe the version without the tiger, and I'm not saying it's exactly wrong to believe in that version. Would you prefer to choose in the logical one, the one who makes more sense, the one that actually is real and told by a sailor lost at sea for weeks with no food and water, or a philosophical one about losing and renewing your faith in God, and a heartwarming story about a tiger? Imagine if you weren't there to witness the story, just to listen to the tale, who would you believe.I'm sorry my story lacks, and it's not as well written. It took me the course of two days to write this, so basically I lost my idea of what I was about to write. I think I'd be able to explain it in person though, but I will never know haha.But this movie is a must watch, very heartwarming and it makes you rethink life in a way. I would bet my money that the book is better, even without reading it.
- Dec 14, 12
Here I go again. It's a very weird coincidental ritual how I listen to a song when I'm writing, and the song sorta gets me in the mood. I was listening to American by Lana Del Rey. Beautiful song. In fact, a quote;
"be young be dope be proud"
Inspiring, is it not? Well back to my point.
If you have read my last post, I was convinced that I was in love with this guy. Well maybe I still am, and maybe I am. See something happened, well long story short, I needed to move on. So I took necessary measures, I blocked/unfollowed him so I won't actually see him and get obsessed. Well so far so good, the only thing I do is just stalk him, but I don't really think about him as much. But recent events got me thinking back to a quote;"You fight for who you love. Everything needs sacrifice"
And I'm just thinking, do I really like him that much to actually consider this quote? Maybe I am. But to be honest, I'm not sure. Was he worth the fight and wait? He is in fact one of the closest guys I have in my life, but he was also straining and let me on and off his hook. And everyone around me keeps on telling me that I should move on, and he isn't really worth it. But my thoughts keep on clashing. I certainly am not eager to close the book between my friendship between him, but I'm just scared that I cannot possibly move on. One of the small crossroads that will potential will or will not make an impact on my life. I think it wouldn't, who am I kidding.
Recently, I've had a sleepover with my best friends. And I think it's great, because sleepovers tend to make me let loose and forget a bit. And it worked tremendously, for once I didn't really care that I don't think about him. And just having people who are just there for me and love me around me, made me feel okay. Endless fun. But yeah I guess there are many fishes in the sea, according to them, and I'll just have to wait.
But somehow I see a future where I am okay with him and us being friends, and just being able to be okay with being alone I guess.
Well my last word is, I am giving my endless gratitude to my best friends, for making me feel so much better, and for being so wild and crazy and never endingly fun. And to him, if you are indeed reading this, well yes, I am stumped but I am still here, maybe I'm moving on, maybe I'm not, but I'm here. - Dec 06, 12
Shit, why the fuck am I in love with you.
Well okay here's to start off, I am feeling quite messed up, considering the other part of me that craves for romantic feelings and attractions. Because I am quite tantalized by this one guy, and I do not have a straight feeling about him.
See I don't easily have a crush on someone, much more 'love' someone. I'm sorry I felt the need to put those apostrophes because of how the word is so strong and I am perhaps too juvenile to use such a word. I positively never fall for someone even with the most greatest attempts. Call me numb, I too believe that I am. And it is because no one really gets me, the real me, the multiple sides of me, and no one has been interesting enough for me to actually have these so called feelings for.
So believe me when I say this is unexpected. And I have tried to fought these feelings but they won't go away. See I hate feeling and being miserable, who does? But I also hate feeling numb. So right now I am torn whether to feel, or not to feel.
This guy, that man is the closest person to have figured me out. Everytime I'm not on the phone with him I'd miss him so much. Everytime I wake up my thoughts rush back to him. Before I go to sleep my mind rushes back to him. He makes me smile even in the saddest moments. He is by far the greatest friend I have ever had, maybe more.
But I rue my actions. I am sadden by the fact that I have broken his heart multiple times. And I am sad, that maybe what he is thinking is that it's karma, and I deserve what I am going through now. But I miss him. I miss him so much. I need him. I think about how I could be on the phone with him when I am doing something else. I stalk him whenever necessary. Because truth be told I can't stand his beauty. He is my definition of beauty. And when I typed that, a shiver went through me, as if it was the right word to describe him.
But also I am mad at him, but not fury-ated, for I can never stand being mad at him for long, for acting as if I am a choice. I am a person and I am independent and I am more than this so don't hold me back. And I am mad for him for treating me as I am a toy and I could wait any longer. I can't, I never could because every person I end up talking to I'd talk about you and how you treat me and how I need you. It's really sad to be honest.
But in the end, I am so sorry for breaking your heart. I am. But I'm not myself, and I can't move on, and everytime I try I find myself running back to you. I just want to talk to you to console myself with your voice. I am dumb, and I am stupid, but this feeling I can't shake off, I hate it. Because you are my everything and I might as well be in love with you.
And right now I am almost sure that I do love you.
Oh if only you knew,
Sincerely Sara Sofea, a girl who loves you and needs you and wants you ever so desperately. - Nov 29, 12
I'm now listening to New York by Snow Patrol. I love this band. I love them. I don't even have to understand the lyrics fully to understand the emotions running through the song.
Shattered all shattered all shattered
You wanna know what's the problem with me, with all of this? We listen to songs. We listen to songs we love. We cry, we feel the words, we dance, we feel the joy, at times we feel infinte. I listen to songs like this, and I can only sit in sadness and only take a look at what I feel. I wanna live in a song. Is that even possible? I wanna live the pain and sorrow, live the happiness, or sometimes the song itself, the beat, the everything is what you want to live in. I can't describe it, I thought I can. Haha how dumb of me.
What are we in the end? We are just putting on a masquerade that we ourselves don't even realize. Tell me, do you really know who you are? I sure as hell don't. Sometimes I feel like I do understand myself, and then I find a way to prove myself wrong. Haha, that's really stupid.
Change is constant, change is inevitable, change is us.
"We are lost until we learn how to ask," I'm sorry, I just felt the need to put that quote in, even though it's not really relatable.
Everything we put ourselves to be, is it really who we are? Is it really who we want to be? Ask yourself, are you who you really want to be? Is this you?
We speak of dreams and realities and who we want to be but
I don't ever really wanna be at my best, but I feel as if this isn't everything I am. I'm not gonna be vulnerable, this isn't a time for vulneberalities and heroes.
I wanna find myself. I wanna be who I am entirely. I wanna be able to dance and be sure that that's me. That it's all I am. I wanna be able to write and tell myself yes, that is exactly what you feel, that is exactly right. I wanna be able to cry actually meaningful tears. Tears with meaning. I wanna be able to hug someone and actually hug them. I wanna find joy somewhere, I wanna live myself to the fullest, feel to the fullest. It's not an easy thing to understand, I don't quite either.
Finding yourself isn't easy, but the acceptance in the end, that's all that counts. - Nov 14, 12
People ask things like why do people cut. It's so stupid. Don't they know they're hurting? Well, I didn't. I used to be half half on their opinion. But it's exactly right, what all those things on Tumblr say.
You know what, I am proud of myself for one simple fact. I am proud that I am a self-harmer. I am proud that I have successfully cut. The way I self-harm are sometimes not by cutting, I just do other things to hurt myself. But people go all like 'oh you don't cut, oh you don't matter' oh I don't? know that I do, will people care? This is just so dumb.
These are REAL problems, REAL people, REAL feelings, REAL pain. it's true, you will never know how it feels until you've experienced it before, so stop saying how dumb it is. Do you know how it feels like, to feel like crying every second despite everything? Like crying, but you can't, tears never come out, but it's just what you need to?
Self-harm is an escape to some people. A BIG escape. It numbs the pain you're experiencing for physical pain. Yes it's addictive, but it numbs. It hurts. It hurts. I don't know if it's depression or sadness, but you feel like frowning every second. Like you can burst. But really it's amazing how much a smile can hide.
To me, things like saying that it's stupid, and why doesn't really help. And support is a big thing, but can you handle it?
Please, please everyone should choose your words wisely. And what I wrote maybe true, but never succumb. Please let me be lost for a second, please do not try to save me. - Oct 19, 12
If writing in the middle of the night could possibly be an antidote of what I feel, so be it.
How can someone do it? Go on through life and not worry about everything. How the only worries are PBS papers, what to order from McDonalds at night, what kind of new phone cover they could possibly want, when to have their next sleepovers. How? How can things like these be one of the only worries someone can have? I don't get all this. Maybe because I am naive. I really am.
I'm here, writing in the middle of the night, with The Hunger Games soundtrack on, and just feeling numb. I feel numb, or I don't feel anything, because of everything. I feel numb because I am me. I have become this person that I don't want to be. I have become an embodiment of someone who I once thought would never be myself. But it's not as worse. I fear this would go on. I fear that this phase of me would continue and dread, and I can only let it slip away, because of a certain thing that we all are so familiar of, fate.
What am I feeling? Emptiness. Emptiness in a sense that I don't have anything to feel. I don't need to feel, but at the same time I do. I want to feel. I want to just feel. "Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all" - Lady Antebellum. Do I? Do I wanna hurt rather than feel nothing. I'm not so sure myself. Hurt, hurt is something that maybe someone can only feel not long, only once or twice, or something that someone can feel for a long time, or eternity at times, or a feeling a person could fictionally generate in order to comprehend everything. I think I have the latter. Maybe. I'm just so unsure, so indecisive. Life is all about choices, aren't they? Maybe that's why. What if I pick a wrong choice. Believe it or not, every single choice you have ever made leads up to who you are now. Who you are living as, who you are pretending to be, who you aspire to be.
I know, I understand how a great deal of a disappointment I am. I made promises to my friends that I can never keep, filled my parents with accidental hopes that I can never live up to, promised on eternity on someone people I shouldn't. I'm not the best person. And I'm annoying. I'm that annoying friend everyone has. That is actually quite a big deal. I act as if I can write, I act as if I'm so much better, when the truth is that I'm not. I'm a scared little puny ant living in somewhere so large.
I don't expect anyone to read this, people shouldn't. I just feel so bad. Every person who ever has the potential to figure me out, connect my dots has either been let go of, or let me go. So I'm stuck here, hoping on nothing.
My ramblings are nonsense. - Oct 11, 12"You're so messed up" she says as she lights up a cigarette.
She looked to her right. And she looked at him. Beautiful as he is, stunning as how he wants to be portrayed. He is love.
"Not messed up as you are, Adriana". He took the lighter from her and lights one himself.
There they are, in one of the greatest cities ever, and they were on a roof of an abandoned building, smoking and wasting their lives away. It was quite a way though, to waste your life and let it sip away. Just smoking little pieces of addiction with a view a person could die for .
Adriana rested her head against her boyfriend's shoulder. She didn't wanna move, she didn't wanna do anything. She just wants to soak in the moment of just her and him against the world. It's because times like these don't come everyday. Times like these are just so rare and so delicate, that if you forget to live in it, it'll just slip away through your very fingers, leaving only regret.
"Hey boo, you know I love you. I love you more than the Sun loves the clouds." Collin whispered in Addy's ear. He muffled her hair and held her close. He loved her. He loved her so much. Letting her go would be the greatest pain he'd ever deal with. It'll be more than pain. It'd be a black hole.
"I know. I love you too." She says as she leans in for a kiss. It was one of those kisses that screams 'I won't ever let you go'. Those kinda kisses that just shows how passionate two people can be.
He let go. "Addy, what are we gonna do, about everything? We can't just run off and act like it's nothing," "
I know, but it's just so confusing. Can't it all just go away? I can't deal with it, I can't." Addy said as she remembers everything. She knows that some people have it worse, but she's not strong enough to cope. Tears well up her eyes.
"Hey, hey, it's okay Addy, I'm here, don't cry. Hush, hush" he says, hugging her as close as ever.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm all good, see?" She says wiping her tears and giving him a smile.
"Hmm, fine, okay. Baby, it's getting late. Wanna head home now?"
"No, I'd rather just sit here with you. And kiss you"
"You read my mind"
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So yeah, I'm starting to write, I have too much free time. Yeah well okay :D - Jun 15, 12WADDUP BISHAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSo, it's been a long time since I've updated, huh? Yeah, I wuz lazyyyhhh.Well, 'nuff with the blabber. So the school holidays happened recently, and of course I did stuff. But I'm just gonna tell the first part, the part before I went away :)So, on the 25th *le last day of school before holiday, Intan Aasyeerin went to Santiago. It's a sad thing cuz I'd miss her and stuff. Okay. And then that night, Mariah, Farhin, Aina and Saby came for a sleepover :D Sad Naomi couldn't came though :( Oh, and in the morning, Hakim gave me the varsity I bought MONTHS ago, and it was so PRETTY! Thank you Abang Ipar :)Hmm, so during Maghrib I got ready and I called Syeerin and wished her a safe flight. I was waiting cuz Aina kata nak datang around Maghrib, sokay :3 And when otp, tetiba loceng bunyi, dan JENG JENG JENG PAWHEEN DATAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGG! Okay, and then kami lepakz dalam bilik and theeeeenn Aina datang :3 Pas tu Farhin suruh buat macam Farhin takda tapi tak jadi cuz I'm such a bad liar x) And then we had Nasi Ayam fo dinnah, :3 Oh, did I mention Aina bought a HUGE bag ._. And then tengah makan Saby came, followed by Mariah :3 Heehee, dem kidz in mah hauz!Malam tu was crazy!!! We prank called like many people, pas tu got high of gas drinks,and then buat Call Me Maybe pebenda tah xD OOOOOH, and we had this Jakey Rowling thing, long story short, from then on nama kitorang Jakey Rowling ;) And then I slept at about 3, and they slept at 4 ._. Okay, I'm a heavy sleeper, I admit it -.- And about 8, semua orang bangun, but not at the same time lah, and then kitorang went to swim :D Lama gila doh, and had lunch and bfast kat luar :3 Pas tu about 3.30 Saby needed to balik :/ But kitorang kept on swimming xD By 4 we stopped and we bathed and all, and semua orang like letih ._. Me and Mariah slept xD Oh, and then one by balik :(Yup. That's us.Oh, on Monday Batrisyia and Afiqah came to do the English project, which wuz kewl :3 Haha, our theme was like "SUPER N" cuz me and Bat were Super N for the Mr Nobody presentation, yeah long story. And bapak ah, diorang makan banyak gila ._. In the end, the project was beautiful, and they swam :3 Okaaaay.On Wednesday, me, Farhin, Aina and Saby (Mariah too) was supposed to go to Kidzania, and then Farhin suruh kejutkan dia that morning, cuz dia nak tumpang I. So by 7 I called her, like 30 times, dia tak bangun bangun pun -.- LITERALLY 30 TIMES. So lantak ah kan, bek pi ah. Pas tu masa I drove by, her bibik kata dia baru habis mandi, and I masuk rumah dia ^^ So then dia kata yang I called 30 kali dia tak perasan, yang Aina call sekali baru dia terjaga -.- So we went to SKTM to hantar Emil and get some stuff, and kitorang lalu block baru :)So then straight to Aina's house! It was gonna rain soooo :3 So then her driver sent us there, oh and Amirah was joining! So kitorang sampai around 9, and then dia kata tickets dah sold out, like dafuq kan -.- I even called the people and diorang suruh datang awal kalau nak the tickets! So we had bfast at McD and I called Amirah to share the news :( Lucky Mariah is lucky, her aunty booked tickets for her! -.- Kena abandon lah nampaknya.. So we went to watch MIB instead! We walked to The Curve and then pergi terus to the cinema :3 And kitorang were like crazy xD Haha, VITAGEN! And Aina just had to buy Starbucks. Dekat eCurve, we booked tickets and tunggu Amirah :D Okay, before that we went to the toilet and it was..... xD Haha, MIB 3 AWESOME GILA DOOOOHHHHH.After that, kitorang main kat arcade, and ada this one game cam best gilaaaaaa ._. lullzzz, and zen we had dinner at Ikea :D It was my first time eating Ikea meatballs so I was pretty stoked! Haha, JAKEYROWLINGS! And we went for Ikea ice cream and karipap. Aina tak habis so she gave her ice cream to me! :D Pas tu we went to Tutti Frutti and Amirah needed to go home :/ Mehehe, had fun :) Pas tu we went to Borders and contenged the kertases cuz we cool liddat, and then pergi Kidzania balik to go home :) Oh, and I slept in the car..Pas tu we went to Aina's house and Aina and Farhin came over for a swim :) haha, best gilewzzz.Aina punya muka...So I'll update about London and all later, ciaoz!Peah, Sepet, Mak Kiah, Rana and Hero! JakeyRowling4Life!
- Mar 11, 12Hello there peeps. Long time ey ? Credits to Roar for introducing me to 'ey' , because using eh would sound too Malaysian and ruin the meaning. Okay.So, a lots happened. Well, at first, there's this friend. I won't name names, it's just 'N' . I don't know, I believed all those rumors about her. And it jeopardized our friendship. Yeah, I sucked. So I was pretty evil. And then, I decided to settle it like adults and talk, and we were okay again. And I will cherish this friendship, hold on to that.That was weeks ago.Hmm, well, I must admit I am a bit naive. I'm not the best person in the world. I'm a bitch, I am. But sometimes, something ridiculous is what people stand for, and that ridiculousness is against me. At first it was nothing to me, but then it gotten serious. I did a prank, yeah with my friends. It was the lowest of pranks, nothing. But people terasa.Yeah, I know I was a bit wrong, but I thought that some people should get the hint. Apparently he didn't, thus what to him was 'World War' started. It's a long story on how we were good in the end, but it takes much to forgive, especially when they've insulted my family.And then my friend, A, she got back from boarding school, and I know I'm a tad busy/lazy, and I don't layan people, but then she said something that touched me, so I apologized. Truly I was sorry, but somehow she thought it was between me and the guy before. And now she's upset with me, and it's now my fault. I've tried calling and all, but her phone's at home lah, apa lah.Today I stumbled upon a post in a group, and it was as if, A, my ex best friend, one I love so much is against me. And backing the other person. I didn't mind, but it felt as if she was stabbing me, and she could trash me? Hmm, now I'm confused about who my friends are.Some friendships don't last, do they? Even when we promised forever, forever eventually turns to for-as-long-as-I-remember you. And I was too blind to notice, that people change too fast. Too fast. I should've seen it coming, yeah. But really, high school has changed me, high school has changed us. How I wish we saw this coming, and did something about it, so we wouldn't fight and make preparations. But we didn't, and that sucked. Now we've changed, and going back's gonna be hardI'm sorry again, truly to all in this post. And 6C-ians, if you ever reading this. Yeah. And now I know who's gonna be there when I wanna cry. Thank you.
- Mar 02, 12So last week was my birthday . And hell was it fun .Well , what you saw up there has a story I'll gladly tell . Well , my birthday started at 11.55 pm 23rd February 2012 , 55 minutes after Aina Batrisyia's birthday , to the hour .Hmm , well that night I was doing my homework , and I fell asleep like at 11 . Well I knew I shouldn't be , because my friend , Intan Aasyeerin suruh-ed me . She said she would kill me if I didn't , and I'm sure she would .Okay , well I fell asleep . And , Syeerin wanted to be the first to wish me , and she wanted me to stay awake . So , she called me at 11.55 . And of course , I was asleep , and Syeerin knew that . So she called me and scolded me . Hmm , I did my homework and tetiba on the phone ' HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA ! ' . I went like WHAAAT WHA- ? So , she wished me the first :)Syeerin asked me to watch my timeline , and I did . Woah , I was overjoyed . People did wait for me , and I was so happy :) Hmm , and then 12.15 maybe , Fariesya called , and she wished me a happy birthday . Heehee , awesome lah she , at about one , Farhin called :) Meehee , then that night , I couldn't sleep so I finished The Hunger Games : Catching Fire and stayed up till 2 . I was so proud I smiled until I slept :)At school , Qaisara and Ad was the first to wish me . And then I saw Bat and the others sitting together and when I lalu-ed them , they sang me happy birthday :) Qaisara gave me an Enid Blyton book for my birthday :3 And then , the wishes started pouring in . Hmm , Yaasin was held at the surau , and us Cemerlang-ans sat together . The ustazah was very the bangang one , kerja marah us only . Haha , we made jokes , and poked each other , and Lia did the Me Gusta face :DOkay , at class , Batrisyia planned to go to McD's to celebrate my birthday and Hakimin's last day , hmmm . Nothing much happened , Cikgu Hafiz buat lawak and Cikgu Comel rotan-ed me x) Heheh , Cikgu Baheyah Comel :D Last-last tak pergi McD's , but I met Ruslan :3 Masa dalam kereta , Mama gave me a 'Birthday Banner' and asked me to buka at home . And besides that , there was a BAG COVERED WITH CHOCOLATES !!!!Masa sampai rumah , I saw a box of Cuppacakes , of assorted flavours and man was I happy . I've always wanted Cuppacakes ! Awwh ,and mama did a cute banner made of my childhood memories :) And after I went up to change , I terus balas those wishes , because I'm a nice girl :) I stayed in my room much , and did nothing , because Toknek was hereAt 6 , I called Amirah :) Hehee , my best friend from Sarawak , and God I missed her :') And we talked , and at about 7 , Syeerin came and gave me my birthday present , the cuppacakes you saw above :') What I wanted for 4 years ! Amirah said I was gullible , umm , okay . And then I talked and got ready for ze birthday dinner .And malam , we ate at the most greatest restaurant ever , ICHIBAN BOSHI . We ordered so much and it was so tasty ! And we went to MPH and I bought books :3 Hmm , two books and NYLON <3 And I ended the day with calling Roar . I firetrucking miss him . Meh , KYS would win the rugby tournaent at MCKK for sure :')My 13th birthday was sweet , and everybody was so awesome , and I like cupcakes . Thanks all , I appreciate everything :')Chocolate and pancakes ,
- Feb 17, 12So , as you guys don't know , I decorate my blog by researching on some random awesome sites that I stumble upon across the internet . AND THIS IS SOMETHING I FOUND !So , My Owl Barn has been giving away some awesome freebies and somehow we've been in the dark about it ! Okay , well My Owl Barn has an awesome 2012 do-it-yourself owl calender to give away . AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT ! CLICK HERE ! IZ AWESOME ! And while you're at it , please do , please check out My Owl Barn , it features awesome stuff !Well okay , I gotta go ,Chocolate and pancakes ,
- Feb 12, 12So , today , Imma be telling you about my friend , the awesomest friend I've ever hadOne I shared everything with , did everything with , spend my awesomest times with . Yes baby , it's Aliyya Rizal .So , she's leaving for TKC :( I'll miss her so much , even kalau tak sama sekolah . We used to be the most hyperest people ever in class , we did everything together . My bestest friend everShe , I've known her since 10 , and from the first time I knew her , I know that shes diffrent and she's a different side of me that I never and wanna know :/ I'll miss the baby :D Oh , god , we main bedak , remember tak Aliyya ? Bubbles ? 11:11:11 am 11/11/2011 :DAhahahah , those times :/ I will miss my baby :)Yesterday she did a farewell kenduri , and Saby , Aina W , Camy , Lia and I attended , and it was awesome . Haha , vain much :)I won't show much , the rest I'll put on Facebook :DAMIR ZIQRY POSE , TEEHEE :DOkay , before I get more jiwangChocos and pancakes ,
- Feb 10, 12Good awesomenoon people ,So , a few days ago was a long weekend , and when long weekends mean awesome shtuff .On Saturday , me , Mama and Emil went shopping , nothing much . On Sunday , we were supposedly going to Putrajaya for hols , but something shocking happened :Our neighbour , Aunty Khadijah passed away in Singapore :( Inalillah . So , as the good neighbours we are , we stayed and helped those peeps . So then , we were at home , and I can finally do what I've always wanted to do : GO OUT WITH MY BEST FRIEND !So , I did , and at about 4 , we went to catch a movie , Haywire to be exact , and it was BORING ! And after that , we head to A&W , and that's when my mom called and said KYS people was there at the tahlil ! So , we're about to head home nyways , and they dropped me off and I get ready !There , I was too shy to tegur them , too shy to tegur Jacob ! So , balik , and I went to the malam tahlil . And then , when I arrived next door , my faci arrived too ! Damn , I'm happy to see him , and then I chatted with the other peeps , and after jenazah sampai and solat jenazah and all , we went to the kubur :(Next day , we had breakfast at Kayu , and when we got home , we packed for Putrajaya ! Tolak at 11 , and went for briyani gham near there . And then , we checked in Pullman :3 THAT HOTEL'S AWESOME ! I miss Ray , Dean , Mira and all ~ So while waiting for checking in , we vained xDHaha , me , Emil and Nael had a separate room filleed with awesome food we brought :3 And then , we siap and prayed and all , and guess what ? IT WAS RAINING ! So we waited until reda to go to the cruise :3 pretty boring , but Putrajaya was magnificent ! After that , we headed to Bagan Lalang . Seriously , it's so far , and the restaurants full x( And when we did get a seat , almost two hours to wait ! Aiyyaa , the food ain't even that good x( Balik , slept all the way xDWhen we arrived , I immediately went to take a hot shower while everyone was sleeping , took le Ruffles , and watched Scott Pilgrim x)The next day , we woke up early and round-round the hotel , it was awesome ! Breakfast sucked , so bad . After that , us kids and Papa went to Games Room , and I won like 5 foosball matches xD After that , we head to our room and packed . After checking out , we went to Saba for lunch . And we vained xDI wouldn't call it vain , I was jagaing Emil's hand so he won't tutup the camera most times xD That's Ray , 10 and actually pretty cute . When he matangs ._. Okay , well the rest is just boring stuff so yeah ~The peak of this holiday is meeting my Abang and dem KYS students and going out with my best friend . Not the best way to spend one of the last cuti before the long school , so yeah .Bye guys , ILOVEYOUCHOCOLATES AND PANCAKES ,
- Jan 30, 12Hello there world !So , last Saturday , Papa and Mama did a doa selamat kenduri for our new house , and they invited all dem saudaras and neighbours/friends . Knowing me being shy around family , I asked Mama if I can invite a friend to help calm my fears and all . Guess who I invited ;)ALIYYA RIZAL ;)Before that , let me tell you about Friday . After school , at about 3 , I went to Syeerin's . Lucky la you Melawatians , both SK and SMK , cuti lama -.- . And I did stuff there . NO NEED TO KNOW . Around 4.30 , she went here . And we swam . Happily at first :D And then , something miraculous happened . IT RAAINNEEDDD . Guess what we did ? We swam in ze raainnnn :3 WIPPPEEE KAYYY AYYY . And Syeerin broke my goggles . Ngehehehe . Aliyya sampai-ed about 9 , she got lost :3 And then , we went watching videos and kacauing Ekhael x) See ze pic , we vained at midnight :3On Saturday ,People started coming about 10 am , and we set the jam at 6.30 . Guess what time we woke up ? 9 dude . 9 . And then , we went breakfast and siap . Meeheeehee . And then ze people came . We gossiped kat bawah , tak layan errone x) We did though , eventually . At first , it was awkward , but then it was fun , and it was awesome . And then Farah came :D Have told you about Farah ? My awesome second cousin who lived In Japan . And we vaiineeddd aaa lottt .That's Farah , me and Aliyya . And Adlan and his family came . AWKWAARD . Food was nice , petang got Char Kuay Teow . And , at around 3 , ze friends and neighbours came . Radhwan came , and us , and Abang Din had a nickname for him . WARDROBE . Long story x)About 6 , Aliyya balik . And there was nothing to do . We were tired already . So , we vained , kan Abang Din ? SEEE . SEEE .Ngahaha , he'a annoying but he's family :) It was an awesome day , plus LIVERPOOL WON . LIVERPOOL WON . LIVERPOOL WON . LIVERPOOL WON . Nuff said .Okay , I'm getting boredChocolate and pancakes ,
- Jan 24, 12Today's a day for sadness , and a day for happiness . I've told about the happy part , now for the sad part .MRSM PEOPLE ARE LEAVING TODAY :( They're probably gone already , and I miss them :( The ones that are going are mostly my family , the people I troll nonstop with , the people I've enjoyed 2011 with . And it makes me sad .Now , who's gonna troll at each other in the middle of the night ? Not them . They're gone :( Now , ze world will be quiet :(I'll miss Adib Z , and his cikainess , and Khalif , for his himness , Adam for his chubbiness , Zafri , for his one direction-ness and everyone else ! Eff , I'll miss the 6Cs the most , now the group'll be quiet , and everyone'll be leaving :( I'm gonna miss them so much , I'd probably cry . Not to mention Afif and Ammar R , who's leaving for the agama school .I know it's for the best , and I wish them the best of luck , but if they forget us 6C/Melawati 1s , I'll kill them . I'll miss them much :(No chocolates and pancakes .
- Jan 24, 12So bruh , this post is about youseeeee .Today is ze 25th , which could only mean one thing . AMMAR KAMAL'S BIRTHDAY ! And Intan Aasyeerin x) So , Imma be talkin about themss. So , they're 13 now . And I'm still stuck with the awesome 12 . YEEEAAAHHH .So , on the 23rd , me , Aina Kamilia and Amirah Aina went celebrating Syeerin's birthday at KLCC with her . First we went to buy tickets , and then we went to eat at ze food court . Then , we went to Toys R Us . Kids these days I tell you , fun toys tamau main . Games ja -.- Then we went to watch Journey 2 . Eff yeah , it was awesome . And then , we went to the kids part of Isetan and Candylicous . And then we went to Sephora . And then Zara . And then Sephora again . And I bought my first macaroons . The end .Sorry for not writing long about that day , I wanna talk about THEM , not the celebration .So , Ammar . The bestest guy friend ever . He's sweet , polite , nice hair , funny and I can come clean about anything to him . And he can come clean to me . He helped cakap-ed my mom about Melawati and all , and I love him or that . He's super awesome , did I mention he's an athlete ? He's effing awesome , and now he's all . I wanna wish him a happy birthday , and I hope he has an awesome one . It would be awesomer if 6C were there though . And , I hope he has an awesome 13 , and we could still be friends sampai tua .NOOOWWWW , INTTTAAANNNNN . HAVE I TOLD YOU GUYS HOW FUCKING AMAZING SHE IS ? No ? Well , I thought it was common knowledge . Well then , she's turned 13 , and she's old . I stayed up till midnight with her . And I saw ze unveiling of ze Teehee book , and her call with Naomi x) I hope she likes my present , I payed money for it , not monopoly money . Well , I want her to have an awesome birthday with Saby and Mariah and her family . She's frickin 13 laaaah . And , she's awesome .That's all , I was thinking about doing two posts today .Chocolates and pancakes ,
- Jan 21, 12HI THERE !So yesterday , we did something wonderful .Who's us ?SABRINA SOFEA ! MUHAMMAD AMMAR ! NIK AMER ! AMIR ZIQRY ! CIKGU SURAYA ! CAMILIA AIDA ! DHIA ! AINA BATRISYIA ! ALIYYA RIZAL ! KHALIF JOHARI ! ADIB AIMAN ! MUHAMMAD AFIF ! ADAM MUQHRIZ ! NOOSHA KHATIBI ! MARISA ADLINA ! WAN NUR AINA ! YUHANIS YUSOFF ! AHMAD FARIS !<3THE ANTICIPATED 6C GATHERING ! Pity , ramai takda :/So , what did we do ? We were scheduled to be there by 2 . But , being me , I arrived at 3 . I walked around for a while , and met Amir and Khalif . God , I miss him :/ They said that ze girls nak pergi A&W , so I went there la .On my way to the elevator , I met them , and boy was I happy . I missed them so much :') They're like family . 6C's like family . So , we jalan-jalaned and went to A&W . Me and Aina W bought rootbeer floats the last , and finished the first xD . And , Amir showed and awesome way to eat fries . *My way's awesomer .To not-waste-time , we went to Superstar afterwards . We girls booked the room first cuz the boys were late . UNLIKE GIRLS . The abang there was funny :3 We went to the biggest room and sang too many songs xD We even sang A,B,C xD Then , I went to guitar class a while while they jumpa Cikgu Suraya :3After class , I searched for them . I said I'll meet them kat bawah or tempat wayang . But no , they weren't there . I walked around the mall 3 times , half and hour , and no sight . Instead , I met Qadri *it was awkward , Nuqman , Syafiq , Azrai , Basil and Rais . Being the good ex-ketua pengawas I was , I belanja-ed them karaoke , in exchange for pinjam handphone .I called Aina , and they were at Tutti Frutti . Damn , should've gone there first . So sampai ja , they were finishing up :( and , CIKGU SURAYA WAS THERE ! WIPPEE-KAY-AY ! So , how did they return me after 30 minutes walking around like an idiot ? They wanted to go back . Then Aina belanja-ed me TF :) THANKS BEBIII . And , Abang Farid was working there , so yeaah :) He looked different .So , the dudes nak balik , and us girls , being family , pujuk-ed them not to . So , Amir , Amir , Ammar and Khalif stayed :D Then , we head to the movies , hmm , tak sempat , so we went for bowling . Cikgu Suraya belanja-ed us :D I suck so bad at bowling , it's despicable . And Ammar was so Cikai , tahulah he got highest marks kan -.- . Even his name is Cikai . Anyways , it was a blast . Eventually , Yuhanis and Aina W had to balik . God , I miss Aina :(Then , Qadri came , and after that their mom and sisters came . So she lepak-ed with us . Heh , in the end Ammar won , yadda , yadda . CIKAI LAH HIM . Masa balik , we got in a group photo :D And Khalif was so cikai he wasn't in it :/ . We promised to do this again in March , with everyone , and I hope we will . Balik , Ammar tumpang-ed us . Things were ... awkward .This has gotta be one of the bestest outings ever . God , I'll miss them . I miss Cikgu Suraya :( If they don't do this next March , I'm gonna kill them . Well , that's all I guess . Remember , nothing's like your second family in class :DChocolates and pancakes ,
- Jan 21, 12Waddup yaww , I might be a little late , but , HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NINA !God , she's amazing . Her birthday's on Jan 9th (Woah , that's a long time ago) , and she's 23 this year , 10 years younger than Ian Somerhalder :3 Seriously , she's amazing . An angel , an awesome actress , and a person with a big heart .This girl's super-talented , I mean , who can play two different characters in a same series , same episode , at the same time ? People can rarely do that . She's amazing . And , she's beautiful . SO PRETTY I'M GONNA DIE ! And , she's got a big heart , just like her boyfie , Ian . She and Joe Jonas helped host ' We Day ' . And , she helps people in need ! Just like how she helped this kid who suffers for cerebral palsy .This year , she's starring in the movie " The Perks of Being a Wallflower " besides Emma Watson and LOGAN LERMAN ! <3 Really excited :)Sall now ,Chocolates and pancakes ,
- Jan 20, 12Waddup peeps !It's almost that time of the year again , ze Chinese New Year ! And damn , am I happy ! It's the year when we get free oranges , and angpows , and occasionally mooncakes :3 I love seeing the cheongsams and all , very colorful :3Well , the past few weeks . How about it ? It was ... mehh . 2012's have been hard on me . New school and all ~ I did get to do some fun stuff though . On the first weekend , we got a loveseat for my room . HOYEAH ! And I went to Aliyya's . I miss her :/ And Wafiqah , Camy and Aina W :/Last weekend was pretty normal . Not much has happened , but I cooked tagine with Mama for the first time ! Damn proud :3 And last Friday I went to Syeerin's . INTAN AAASYEEERIIIIIINNNNN . I MISS HER SOOO MUCHHHH .This week , I went to the place where I spent most of my life in . School . Not my high school , no . SKTM . And it was awesome ! I went with Lia , Dhia , Yuhanis , Hidayah , Adam Muqhriz , Khalif , Nuqman and Nazril . Dammnnn . I miss the place . So much memories :/ The school needs to remain as awesomeas it is . Melawati 1s . No one's like us . Plus , hanging out with the dudes and all was super-awesome . Meeting teachers and all ~I really do hope there's more to come and to tell . I miss everyone :( Sall for today folks .Chocolates and pancakes ,
- Jan 14, 12
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