rachelstarlive

New vid! “Get Out”

Me in the studio working

What wonderful advice

Working with dad hauling trash

I see some people do “Truthful Tuesday” where they tell truths about themselves. Here is one for me:

I haven’t really missed my grandmother after her death. At least I thought I did until the other day when I felt something different. A sudden great sadness and I knew that was really what it was like to miss someone passed. 

I was working at my catering job. There were lots of people all going there own directions. Down this long hall I saw an old woman struggling with a walker creeping down the hall looking very confused. People seemed to almost be tripping over her. I went to her and she was trying to find a party. No one I called knew where this party was or had heard of it. Turns out she was not even at the right location, as in she should have been miles across the city somewhere else.

Seeing this lady wandering the halls and no one helping her just made me think of my grandmother. I would have flipped out if that had been her. People treating this strong independant woman like an annoyance and no one stopping to help her when clearly she was in the wrong place.  

I felt this intense sadness then. It’s lessened a bit the past few days but still there. 

When my grandmother was still alive, at night when I would drive by her house I would check to see what lights were on. If the bathroom light was on that meant she was having trouble and I would have to stop by and help her to bed. They are of course always dark now but I still find myself checking. 

So apparently my head decided that sleeping was for nerds. 

I’m awake. I’m wide awake. 

On a good note I have caught up with all my “Modern Family” episodes on hulu.com.

Well I’m all ready to shoot. Now where are the others?

Tomorrow’s dinner for the cast!!!

Big shoot I’m getting ready for. All cooked up, I’ll just warm it tomorrow. It smells so good.

My mom and dad at dinner tonight

We’re adorable

So far tonight I have managed to bust my lip on a window ledge and cut my hand with a wine tool

Like father, like daughter.

Working on my motorcycle with my dad! I look dorky.

Working on setting up a new short for a horror/dark comedy short. Most of the cast is locked in. Mostly a one day shoot but tons of scenes will be just me so those will be filmed over the next two weeks.

I love and hate starting new projects.

I’m excited cause I love to create and work with people. I can also see how I grow and get better and better with each shoot. 

But I hate that I kinda start freaking out. I always feel I bite off more than I can chew and the lack of money. I finance all my own projects from working my part time jobs so I know that I’m about to be super broke again and I’m still trying to recover from “StereoType”, plus I still have to pay for DVDs for the whole cast of “StereoType”… that’s like $150. 

I emailed my agent again. There is talk of some shows looking at me. I know he contacts me if there is news but I still like to check in. No news. 

I want to film stunts on Friday… I have a long list. But my head has been so off… I don’t know. 

The ticking in the title refers to the constant ticking hallucination I have. 

I’m trying to look as pitiful as possible since Rachel won’t take me out to eat with her. -twinkle

my head as been sick… I don’t know why

My head feels so numb lately… don’t know why. Maybe the anti-depressants. 

It makes it very hard to work on my scripts.

It makes it very hard to think in general. 

Morning! My hand looks freaky.

Sleepy puppy

This is what happens when I run my fingers through my hair.

Fuzzy fuzzy

Holiday Shootin’