Pauline Francisco McHugh

I want to say this was all due to bad luck but I don’t like saying, oh well, it’s just bad luck better luck next time! Shit just happens. So, I’m just going to say we’ve had some unfortunate events around here recently. It all started when I was just out on a morning run to get some errands done. I was going to get a pumpkin spiced latte, pick up some stuff at a drug store, and drop off a check at the bank. Simple stuff. I had done the first two and was just about to head back to the bank when, BAM, I get into an accident.

Let me just say that I’m weary of driving in downtown because nobody seems to pay attention here. You have to pay more attention when you drive because there are lights at every block, cyclists, pedestrians who don’t know how to use crosswalks, and people driving the wrong way on a one-way street. It’s like everyone on the road is trying to kill you with terrible driving. At least that’s how I feel driving through sometimes.

So anyway, this guy runs a red light and hits me. I was so mad that I pulled to the side of the street, got out and yelled, WHAT THE FUCK, YOU JUST RAN A RED LIGHT! I have give the man credit because he calmly talked to me, which I would be hard-pressed to do with a small Asian woman yelling at me. He honestly thought he had a green light, which just shows that he wasn’t paying attention at all. Fortunately, it was morning break time and lots of people were standing around outside and saw what happened. People, don’t drive with your head up your butts. It really screws up other people’s lives.

My poor car was towed away and then the battle with the insurance company began. That was over a month ago and I still have a rental car sitting in my driveway. They just can’t seem to get it right. My car will never be fixed, or it’ll be fixed and there will be more problems with it.

I’ve been trying to think of some way to explain pregnancy to people who have never been pregnant. And just now, while I was serving myself some cake for lunch, I realized that being pregnant is like being on a cruise. You don’t have to do much, people wait on you and take care of you, you can pretty much eat anything guilt-free and some people throw up.

Ok, that’s an over-simplified way of looking at it. There’s also fatigue, the people who (mostly with good intentions) lay claim to your unborn baby, the FATIGUE, the HOMRONES. I know that I mentioned fatigue twice. It’s that bad. One second you’re fine then all of a sudden your body just crashes and you’re out like a light.

I’m lucky in that I haven’t experienced morning sickness during this whole thing. If it weren’t for the FATIGUE (so bad that it has to be acknowledged in all caps) I would completely forget that I’m pregnant. Other than being more careful about what I eat and what drugs I take, I still carry on with life. Sometimes to the disapproval of my husband and friends. I tried surfing when I was 12 weeks along, I still go to spin class and elevate my heart rate above 140 bpm, I still have coffee (non-decaf) every once in a while. I think it’s all fine and they’re worrying too much. It makes me feel normal, especially the exercise.

Here’s my last thought on this subject: pregnancy boobs are ridiculous.

You’re probably visiting this page thinking, whoa, didn’t there used to be OTHER STUFF here? Well yeah, there was stuff here before. I decided to purge it all, move it to the way down sub-basement-level archive, because I decided that’s all irrelevant to me now. This site used to be a top hit for “Giraffe Penis” for christ’s sake. Besides that, I just don’t associate with the girl from a few years anymore. I can’t even associate with the girl I was last month. And in the next few posts, I’ll explain.

Later this year, I will turn a quarter century old. I don’t know what that means, but when I was growing up I thought I would have everything figured out by 25 like it was some sort of magical deadline into real adulthood. You know, where you start saving for retirement and become serious with your significant other and “adult” stuff like that. I still don’t have everything figured out, but at least I have a retirement account! And a house! I’m a homeowner. Surely that makes me an adult on some level.