So, I don’t usually write lengthy blogs spilling my heart out…but I feel like sharing some things with yall.
Music is such a complex thing sometimes. It’s really easy for people, even myself to say…do what you do and see where it takes you. Be who you are. Don’t overanalyze. Don’t be such a perfectionist. Well, I am a perfectionist, I do over analyze, and sometimes I question myself. Well, a lot of the time actually. I’l be honest and say for me, one of the hardest things, is the habit I have with comparing myself to others. Its a terrible thing, but it happens. I feel like a lot of people can relate to that…whether it be image wise or musically or whatever the case may be. I mean, lets be honest, I DEF also do that with people who have naturally airbrushed skin…that’s a whole other topic haha. But seriously, it’s not how it should be and it’s such a HUGE waste of time. No one is exactly the same and I am going to be confident in that!
Also, musically, for the longest time I’ve thought, “how am I going to differentiate myself and figure out where my place is?” The answer is…I’M NOT and I’m dern sure tired of thinking about it! Why don’t I let the music speak and be done? SO saying that, leads me to the important part.
I feel like I have had a HUGE breakthrough these past few months. If I’m being honest, I’d have to say I haven’t FINISHED a song, by myself, in probably almost 2 years. I’ve started about a gazillion, but never completed them. For me, that has been one of the most discouraging things and I feel like it’s def held me back. I’ve obviously co-written and finished a TON, but none alone. If some of you remember, years and years ago, when I didn’t care and wrote a song just to release my thoughts, it came easy to me, and I did it all the time. I didn’t care if it sucked or was catchy enough…I just wrote it because I had to get it out. This is what makes it art, and it’s why I love music and writing. Well, somewhere along the way, I feel like I lost that. I think for some reason, I just couldn’t seem to put my feelings into writing. (or maybe I’m just too happily married and I’m only good at writing depressing music? haha) ;o)
Now, this is the good part. So I asked you guys in my blog to send me stories and experiences..and you did. So I was reading them and really empathizing, and sat down at my piano to write about it…and I finished the song within about 20 mins. This was basically the first song I’ve sat down and written from start to finish in, like i said, almost 2 years! Not to mention, I wrote it about someone else’s life, and it ended up being one of the most emotional songs, that I could relate to as well. It’s crazy how powerful music is, and I felt so thankful to be reminded of that.
SO needless to say, this was a BIG deal to me, so I should say thanks to YOU all for inspiring me. And the crazy thing is, I haven’t stopped! Somehow, I have blocked out all the BS and distractions and comparisons and “this chorus isn’t catchy enough,” and I’ve been writing from my heart…like I used to. I’ve been writing music that I love and that I feel is EXACTLY who I am.
So saying that, I’m going to record a new EP, with my oh so talented husband Jon, and we’re starting in SEPTEMBER!!!!! It will be REAL and exactly what I feel and what I love. I haven’t been this excited about things in a long time. Yay!!!!
I love all of you so much and I appreciate you reading this novel 0_o