Naeem Chudawala

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The video below is what I made for my first term project as a MA Digital Effects student at Bournemouth University. We had to take a scene shot in the daylight above water and make it look like an underwater scene. We also had to add an artefact with a light source that would interact with the scene. This is probably not the best I could have done, but this is what I managed in 10 weeks.

 Watch in Full HD.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)

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Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you got to know it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one project. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.

It’s always going to take a while. It’s normal to take a while. You’ve just got to fight your way through it.

- Picked up from here.

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Good news - I already have the cape. :)
Bad news - I can't wear it, yet. :(

But when the time is right, I'll wear it, and fly.

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This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

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"Chase your dreams with your own wings."

This image has been the wallpaper on my phone for over a week now (I don't usually keep the same image as wallpaper for more than 3-4 days). It's not because I like this image a lot, it's because the line means so much to me. 

I quit working with Directi two weeks ago hoping that I could use the extra time to push myself in the direction I wanted to head. However, I really haven't been able to do so. It seems I am still waiting for inspiration and motivation from external factors to push me ahead. 

I know what I want to do, and I have all the possible resources at my disposal. I am at a juncture where the next few months could decide where I'll be in the next few years. All I need is a little push. It'll be interesting to see if someone will push me in the right direction, or if I will chase my dreams with my own wings.

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Hiding deep within, doors cry opening

Lead into the light of love deep like the sea

Rich in variety, heartfelt and open, wide like a life, unique, yet so alike

Can you hear me, I know I'm just a whisper

Can you hear me, brother mine, sweet sister

Love will find an answer

You flow inside of me, language and imagery, pure in simplicity

Thirsting for unity, realised harmony,

No need to hide away your life, unique, yet so alike

Can you hear me, I know I'm just a whisper

Can you hear me, brother mine, sweet sister

Love will find an answer

There's yet life in these words I speak for peace of mind and our release, 

And you can have what you want if you want it like you need to breathe, 

like you need to breathe, like you need to breathe

Embrace reality

Can you hear me, I know I'm just a whisper

Can you hear me, brother mine, sweet sister

Love will find an answer

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We can't seem to let go

The thread's so thin it just doesn't show anymore

It seems like we're playing charades

Playing like we're afraid to live

And this is one sacrifice I don't want to make

If there's no end

There can be no beginning, there can be no beginning

If there's no end

It feels like forsaking the dawn, we awaken and still we don't see

I am still secretly grateful you're living this moment with me

We can see where it leads

It's like you can't, can't kill the monster that feeds on you

No matter what you do it seems to get you every time

And that's a predicament if I know anything

If there's no end

There can be no beginning, there can be no beginning

If there's no end

It feels like forsaking the dawn, we awaken and still we don't see

I'm still secretly grateful you're living this moment with me

Secretly grateful you're sharing this moment with me

If it's just one life we're given, one time you're living

I feel your touch light up a wild desire

Borne on my ache to take us ever higher

In our love we are birds of prey

Every cry serves to lead astray

So carry my ache and you will know the feeling

Inside I am weak but for this love I'm bearing

So breathe your life in my shades of grey

Or kill the lights and we'll fade away

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P.S : This is also my first blog post using the Posterous Android app :D

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Just as he entered the lounge, Alan stopped and scanned the place. People were dancing, drinking and having a good time. But his eyes were focused on something else. Something only he could see.

Numbers – floating over everyone’s heads.

A “7” hovered over one man’s head. The number climbed to “8” as he downed a drink. Another man’s number dropped by 50 units as he paid the bartender for his drink.

Alan strolled towards the bar, not a hint of surprise in his stare. He was used to seeing the numbers. As he made his way through the crowd, he saw a woman sitting all alone. The number “30” hovered over her head. She looked up and for a brief moment, made eye contact with him and went back to doing something on her cell phone. Alan headed towards her and took the seat next to her.

Woman: “Yes, that seat is taken. Thanks for asking.”

Alan: “You see the numbers too, don’t you? You didn’t look me in the eye. You were staring just above my head.”

The woman looked up again and saw the number “1,377” floating above Alan’s head.

Woman: “What’s your pattern?”

Alan: “Pattern?”

Woman: “The Pattern is what limits your vision. What do you see?”

Alan points at the other patrons.

Alan: “I see how many drinks that man had, how much money that man’s got...”

He then pointed at her number.

Alan: “How old people are…You don’t look like 30...”

She ignored the compliment.

Woman: “You’re a Random then. Everyone starts as a Random. Then a pattern emerges.”

Alan: “Why do we see these numbers?”

Woman: “I’ve met others like us. But nobody has a clue.”

Alan: “So what’s your pattern?”

Woman: “I am a Polyg.”

She looked around and saw 5-digit numbers floating over everyone’s heads.

Woman: “I can see how many lies people have told in their lives.”

Alan: “Wow! That sounds cool.”

Woman: “Newbies only see the good side. It’s not “cool” to know when someone is lying to your face.”

Alan: “How do I choose a pattern?”

Woman: “You don’t. The pattern chooses you.”

Alan: “Any pattern I should be worried about?”

Woman: “All of them. I wouldn’t mind being a Cupid though. When a Cupid sees two people with matching numbers, it’s a sign of a potentially good couple.  Let’s you save your friends from nasty divorces.

Alan: “Or ruin their weddings.”

Woman: “I did that when I was a Random. I thought I was doing them a favour.”

Alan: “Newbies only see the good side.”

Woman: “You’re a fast learner.”

Alan: “You’re a good teacher.”

He looked at her empty glass and signalled to the bartender to get them two more glasses.

Woman: “Trying to get me drunk?”

Alan: “No, just being courteous.”

She noticed the number above his head go up by one unit.

Woman: “Not the best idea to hit on me.”

Alan: “I am not.”

The number went up again. She smiled.

Woman: “You’re the first adult I’ve met with a four-digit number. That’s the lowest I’ve seen. Impressive.”

Alan: “Let’s drink to that. What the worst pattern I can hope for?”

Woman: “Reaper. They can see how many days someone has before they die. They see everyone’s number drop at midnight. It’s pretty sad.”

Alan: “Can’t they warn or try to help the person?”

Woman: “A Reaper I met once told me this – Destiny corrects itself if you try to cheat it. Let me teach you a little trick. It will help you turn off the numbers.”

Alan: “You can do that? How?”

She closed her eyes.

Woman: “Close your eyes and clear your mind. Remember how you saw the world before the numbers appeared.”

She opened her eyes and looked around. The numbers were gone.

Woman: “They are only gone for a while though.”

Alan tried to follow suit.

Alan: “Didn’t work for me.

Woman: “That’s because you’re missing the key ingredient. Pain.”

For some reason, the woman’s eyes welled up with tears. Her eyes darted to her phone’s digital clock as it beeped. It was midnight. Alan looked up and noticed her number drop to “29”.

Woman: “Still want to hit on me?”

Alan looked at her, speechless. He felt pain for the first time. He could feel her pain. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. After a few seconds he opened them and looked around.

The numbers were gone – for a while at least.

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Laser graffiti demo at Directiplex. This is where I work. :)

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Sarah was sitting on a bench in the park, enjoying her lunch. She took a bite from her sandwich, looked around and saw Mike – a middle-aged man with dirty unkempt hair, long beard and clothes that looked like they had not been washed in years. Mike took a seat at the opposite end of the bench on which Sarah was sitting. Sarah turned her head for a slightly better look and saw Mike staring at her.

Mike: “Hi.”

Sarah: “Hello.”

Mike: “What are you doing here?”

Sarah: “Having lunch.”

Mike: “All alone?”

Sarah: “Err yeah.”

Sarah shifted a little. Mike smiled and reached slowly into his jacket pocket. Sarah watched his movement, terrified, and shifted further towards the edge of the bench. With one swift movement Mike removed what looked like a newspaper from his pocket and unfolded it, looking unperturbed by Sarah’s reaction.

They sat in silence as Mike read the newspaper and Sarah finished her sandwich. A few minutes later, Mike folded the newspaper and kept it aside.

Mike: “Thanks for not running away.”

Sarah: “Thanks for not killing me.”

Mike: “Huh?”

Sarah: “Nothing, nothing.  What makes you think I’d run away?”

Mike: “Everybody does. Some do as soon as they see me and some after I sit down.”

Sarah: “Without any reason?”

Mike: “Dirty on the outside must mean dirty on the inside, right?”

Sarah: “I don’t think so.”

Mike smiled.

Sarah: “I think I understand what you mean.  Sometimes after work I head for a drink. Since I am normally in work attire, I can’t help but feel that people there avoid me because of that. I get the feeling that people see me as a snob, like I am too good for them or something."

Mike: “Look at the bright side. At least you can get into those places."

Sarah: “Now that I think about it, I guess it’s not that bad."

Mike: “It’s a trade off. You can get into those places, but you don’t meet anybody. I can’t get into those places and I meet all kinds of people on the streets."

Sarah nods, clearly impressed by Mike’s statement.

Sarah: “Can I ask you something?”

Mike: “You want to know how I ended up like this?”

Sarah: “You seem like a pretty smart man. You surely must have had something at some point.”

Mike: “I was an actor.”

Sarah: “Wow, really?”

Mike: “Don’t  believe me? I’ll show you.”

Mike stood up and shut his eyes. Sarah watched him and then looked around to see if anyone else was in the area.

Mike opened his eyes, fury in them.

Mike: “You think I am dirt, don’t you?"

Sarah looked around, completely taken by surprise.

Sarah: “I..I –"

Mike: “I refuse! I am a respectable man! And all your fancy clothes and lunchtimes in the park are not going to change that!"

Mike stared her down as she tried to gather her things.

Sarah: “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just thought I’d ask. I..I – I am sorry."

Mike bursted out laughing. Again, Sarah was completely taken by surprise.

Sarah: “What’s so funny?”

Mike: “Guess I still got it.”

Mike sat back down, smiling brightly.

Sarah: “You.. you were acting?”

Mike: “Of course! You didn’t think I was really mad at you, did you?”

Sarah: “A little.”

Mike laughed heartily and even Sarah joined him.

Sarah: “Ok, you got me.”

Mike: “This is going to give me a good laugh for months.”

Sarah: “I see you can act. So, what happened?”

Mike: “Fell into a bottle and never came up for air. People didn’t like the fact that I showed up late and sometimes drunk for rehearsals."

Sarah: “I am sorry.”

Mike:  “It’s not your fault! To be honest, it’s not all that bad. Now I do what I want, when I want. No one to question me and no one to answer to. It’s a much peaceful life. I have a lot of time to think here. Don’t have to worry about when I have to be back from my lunch break."

Sarah looked at her watched and realized it was getting late.

Sarah: “Oh, I totally lost track of time.”

Mike: “That big clock across the street won’t let me. I noticed it was almost one.”

Both shared a smile.

Sarah: “Thanks.”

Sarah gathered her things and got up. She reached into her purse, took out a few bills and held them out to Mike.

Sarah: “I’d like you to have these.”

Mike waved them away.

Mike: “Please, keep your money. I don’t need it.”

Sarah: “I insist.”

Mike: “Put it away. I’ll be doing the giving here.”

Sarah looked confused. Mike reached into his jacket,  took out two slips of paper and handed one to Sarah.

Sarah: “What's this?”

Mike: “Ticket to the new play down at the theater.”

Sarah: “How did you get them?”

Mike: “Let’s just say I am good friends with the lead actor.”

Sarah: “What’s it about?”

Mike: “It’s about an actor who becomes homeless after falling into a bottle and never coming up for air.”

Sarah stood speechless as she put two and two together.

Mike: “The lead actor is supposed to be top-notch. Really gets into his roles. Hope you can make it.”

Mike turned to leave, Sarah called out behind him.

Sarah: “It’s you!”

Mike turned, a sly grin on his face.

Sarah: “Why the whole act? Why go through the trouble of convincing me you’re homeless when you’re not?”

Mike: “You’d be surprised how quickly you get to know somebody when you’re dressed like this. Will I see you tonight?”

Sarah: “You tell me. You’re the one that knows me so well.”

Sarah smiled.

Mike: “I’ll see you.”

Sarah: “Count on it.”

Mike smiled and headed off. Sarah just stood there and marveled over the tickets in her hand.

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Café Highway was at the side of an endless road, in the middle of nowhere. It was owned by an old couple named Steve and Laura. There was only one customer inside – a young man named Jake. He sat next to the large window, sipped coffee, watched torrential rain beat down heavily and create large pools of water outside the café.

Laura brought Jake the bill. Jake paid for it while looking outside the window the whole time, lost in thought.

Laura: “You should stay here for a while, boy. Doesn’t look like this rain is going to clear anytime soon.”

Just then a car came screeching to a halt in front of the café. A young woman jumped out and ran towards the entrance. Steve ran from behind the counter to open the door. Marie ran in and Steve shut the door hurriedly behind her.

Marie: “That was close! I think I left the window open!”

Steve:  “Let’s hope your car doesn’t sink. Would you like a coffee?”

Marie nodded, still looking out at her car. She turned and noticed Jake for the first time.

Jake: “Hi, I am Jake.”

Marie: “Hi. Marie.”

Jake: “Nice car.”

Marie: “Let’s hope it stays that way after the rain has cleared. At least I got inside without getting drenched.”

Jake: “Yeah. Laura, I’ll have a coffee too. Looks like I don’t have a choice but to wait for the rain to clear.”

Marie joined Jake at the table as Laura brought out two cups of coffee.

Marie: “Is your car out there too?”

Jake: “No, I am hitching.”

Marie: “Oh.”

Marie and Jake spoke generally while sipping their coffee. They laughed a lot and time passed by quickly. Before long the rains also cleared.

 Marie: “Where are you headed?”

Jake: “Wherever I want. I decided that I didn’t want to spend my life behind a desk. So I sold the house I inherited from my father and began travelling. Just my camera and me. I wanted to see life.

Marie: “I wish I was seeing life. I was heading to a meeting. If only I had not re-scheduled it, I would have been sitting in my office.”

Jake: “But here we are.”

Marie: “Yes..here we are.”

A few minutes passed and Marie looked out to see that the rain has passed. She got up and headed to the door. Steve and Laura also came out from the kitchen and followed Marie and Jake outside.

Marie went to her car and examined it. An open window had allowed a lot of water inside – the interior was completely wet. After Jake and Steve helped her clean it up a bit, she got in and tried the ignition. Fortunately, the car came to life on the fourth try.

Marie looked at Jake.

Marie: “Can I give you a ride?”

Jake: “Which way you going?”

Marie pointed up the road. Jake shook his head and pointed in the opposite direction.

Jake: “I am headed that way.”

Marie: “Oh well. I suppose we both know that…”

Jake: “Fairy tales don’t happen?”

Marie: “Yeah. It was nice meeting you. But a cup of coffee in a café during a rain storm, it’s not real.

Jake smiled sadly.

Jake: “Good luck with the meeting.”

Marie: “Have fun travelling.”

Jake: “Thanks.”

With that Marie drove off without looking back.

Laura: “Why didn’t you go with her?”

Steve: “Laura, it’s none of our…

Jake: “It’s alright. Marie was right. It was nice..but you can’t base your life on a cup of coffee.

Laura: “Why not?”

Jake turned around and headed into the café without replying. He picked up his backpack and left.

As he walked along the road he heard the sound of a car behind him. He turned and put his thumb out to hitch a ride. He stopped and watched as the car drew up alongside him. The passenger side door was pushed open and Jake looking inside -

Marie: “Going my way?”

Jake smiled and got in.

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This advertisement was made for our class project. It is based on the Tata Docomo "Hear What You Want" advertisement.

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There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part; you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop. And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all. 

- Mario Savio

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We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita. Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says, "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." I suppose we all thought that one way or another.

- J. Robert Oppenheimer

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Need motivation to stop existing and start living? I am sure this song will give you that. Yes this is a cult.

I don't remember the moment I tried to forget
I lost myself is it better not said, now I'm closer to the edge
It was a thousand to one and a million to two
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you
Closer to the edge

(NO NO NO NO!) I will never forget
(NO NO!) I will never regret
(NO NO!) I will live my life

Closer to the egde
Closer to the edge

NO NO NO NO!

Closer to the edge

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I am not a person who lets emotions get the better of me. I am not someone who likes to look back, who dwells on the past. But today was different. I had this weird feeling when I woke up this morning. I was feeling nostalgic.

I realized that we look back at the best times of our life only during the worst times. Today I felt the need to look back. I felt the need to relive those moments. As I was looking at the photos from my college days, I realized that no matter what we achieve, no matter how much we try to move on, we can never let go of these moments. There is no such thing as moving on.

I miss my college days more than I could ever imagine. I miss my friends from college, and like we wrote on our classroom board on the very last day, I miss all the stupidity.

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