Muck Fizzou

Mizzou is well known for doing two (and two things only) things well 1)talk shit and 2)under achieve. This usually makes for a rather annoying regular season and rather gratifying post season. This year’s basketball team proved to be no different. Despite playing a horrible strength of schedule during the non-conference season and not winning the Big12 conference Mizzou fans still insisted that their streak of never making it the Final Four (second winningest team in the Tourney never to make a FF) would end this year.

They point to a Big 12 tournament title as proof enough that belong in the same conversation as Kentucky, Syracuse, and North Carolina. To them winning the Big 12 tournament was a greater feat than winning a conference championship consisting of 18 regular season games over two and half months at both home and away venues. Surely the NCAA would recognize the greatness of beating unranked Oklahoma St, unranked Texas, and Baylor. A number one seed was theirs for the taking, right?

Wrong! The NCAA selection committee ended up giving the tigers the LAST 2 seed. So what would Mizzou do with an easy match-up and chip on their shoulder?…choke. Mizzou’s loss to 15 seed Norfolk St. was just the fourth time in NCAA history that a 15 seed has beaten a 2 seed.

Here are some media reactions from around the country.

Shock and Dismay for Mizzou | STLToday.com

Mizzou misery, Norfolk elation show it’s March | STLToday.com

Five Reasons Mizzou Fell So Soon | BleacherReport.com

Another Punch Jolts Mizzou Fans | STLToday.com

Ashton Glaser, Mizzou’s back up quarterback, was arrested for outstanding warrants after a unknown assailant punched him the face (Source: CBS ST Louis). The attending officer’s investigated the assault but upon learning about the outstanding warrants arrested Glaser. The officer’s stated that punching a Mizzou player is not arrestable offense beacus ether bring on themselves.

When asked about the incident head football coach Gary Pinkel expressed disappointment that Glaser didn’t get arrested for a real crime like a drinking and driving. “That’s why he’s the back-up.”

According to the  most recent Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, Missouri is miserable. The 8th most miserable state in fact. The poll was combined with other census data to find the most miserable states to live in. Factors that were taken into account were life expectancy, physical health, work environment, income and education.

Here is the breakdown for Missouri (source: 24/7 Wall St.)

8. Missouri
> Well-being index score: 64.8
> Life expectancy: 77.4 (12th lowest)
> Obesity: 30.5% (10th highest)
> Median household income: $44,301 (14th lowest)
> Adult population with high school diploma or higher: 86.9% (22nd lowest)

Between 2010 and 2011, Missouri’s well-being score went from 17th worst in the country to eighth worst. Conditions in the state declined in every category Gallup measured. Missouri residents polled rated their emotional health as 14th worst in the country, down from 25th worst last year. The state also declined from 18th worst in life evaluation to third worst in the country. The state has the 11th-highest rate of smokers in the country at 21.1%. Heart disease, cancer and diabetes rates are all among the top 20, and life expectancy in the state is 77.4 years, the 12th lowest in the U.S.

It is also interesting to note that 7 SEC states were listed in the top 10:

#2 Kentucky
#3 Mississippi
#6 Alabama
#7 Arkansas
#8 Missouri
#9 Florida
#10 Tennessee

Apparently being good at college football doesn’t improve you quality of life.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and the Border War brings up a lot of words that are usually reserved for back alley brawls. I was impressed with the level of content Jayhawk Nation created this season and thought it only appropriate to show them off here.

Schadenfreude is a German word that means “pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others”. Since no one has more misfortunes than Mizzou this post gathers images of these events so we can all have a good laugh.

I think Cartman illustrates this concept the best in this clip:

So without further ado here are the lozzers.

I find this video interesting in that MU Athletic Director shakes each of the officials hands who called a questionable game against Kansas in the final installment of the Border War in Mizzou’s Paige Arena. If I were him I would do everything possible to not lose that game.

Leave it to Mizzou to find new ways to embarrass themselves. I think this video speaks for itself.

If the SEC wasn’t already nervous about letting Mizzou into their conference this are now. From their bumbled conference switch announcement, to their NCAA leading DUI football team the Big 12 is happy to let this headache walk out the door.

It is so bad that even other Mizzou students are distancing them selves from it:
We Are Mizzou, but not the viral video

The Kansas rebuttal didn’t stoop to that level of crappy rap video, but rather pointed out the idiocy of the original. That is in fact the definition of satire.

Mizzou puts another feather in it’s racist cap by supporting segregated homecomings. Apparently they think it is a good idea to have a campus wide homecoming and separate Black Homecoming.

It is a shame that MU, who many have thought invented Homecoming, can’t seem to reconcile racial differences during what is supposed to be a time where MU alumni and students come together to celebrate all things Mizzou.

Either they were trying to impress the SEC or they still don’t get that racial segregation has come and gone.

Source: The Maneater