I loved me some breakfast cereal when I was a kid. Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms were awesome, but they weren’t in my top 5. So without further ado, here’s my Top 5 Favorite Cereals of All-Time.
5.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal
Like most, I was a total tool when it came to the Heroes in a Half-Shell. In addition to action figures, clothes and Halloween costumes, I had to have me some Ninja Turtle breakfast cereal. Now the funny thing here is that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was proof that a kid will eat anything as long as it’s associated with something he likes. If you would have tried to get me to eat Chex when I was a kid, you would have had a fight on your hands. Even if you would have added to marshmallows to the mix, I’m not sure that I’d have eaten a bite. However, instead of Chex, call them ‘nets’ and make the marshmallows into the shape of tiny turtles, and, well, that’s a completely different story.
4.) Ghostbusters: The Cereal
Unlike the TMNT cereal, Ghostbusters was actually tasty in addition to having something on the box that kept me excited. It was essentially a combination of Frakenberry, Captain Crunch and Fruit Loops. Except the loops were in the shape of Ghostbuster signs and there were ghost-shaped marshmallows – which makes all the difference in the world when you’re 4-5 years old.
3.) Rice Krispies Treats Cereal
Perhaps the only cereal that I ate ‘dry’ more than I did with milk and in a bowl. Rice Krispie Treat Cereal was pure brilliance on Kellogg’s part. There’s nobody that doesn’t like the marshamallowy treats. You make them bite-sized and put them on a shelf, a kid like me will beg for them; and cry for them if need be.
2.) Fruity Pebbles
Aside from those last few soggy bites, there’s (still) nothing more delicious than a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. It’s the absolutely perfect combination: they’re pretty to look at, they’re fruity; they always had great prizes inside and cool games on the back; and they’re marketing campaign featuring Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble played continuously on Saturday mornings while I was trying to watch Uncanny X-men and Eek The Cat. They’re especially good if you’re high. (lol wut?)
1.) My Cereal (Code Name: Sugar Bomb)
Oh, what’s that? You didn’t know that I created a cereal? Well you should. It’s only the fucking best breakfast cereal in the history of the world; so great in fact that I’ve kept it secret up until now. This cereal is so special that you can’t go to a store and find it sitting beside a box of Sugar Crisp. Oh no, you’re going to have to make this yourself. Here’s what you’re going to need.
- A box of Lucky Charms
- A box of Fruity Pebbles
- A box of Cocoa Crispies
- A half a gallon of chocolate milk
Now first you’re going to want to empty the entire box of Lucky Charms into a large bowl. Remove the marshmallows and put them to the side. Did you get them all? Good. Now throw away the actual cereal portion. Get another bowl, grab the one that you’d usually serve popcorn to if you had guests over, and proceed to pour lots (or 4 shakes) of Cocoa Crispies into the bowl. Done? Now repeat this process but using the Fruity Pebbles instead. You’re almost finished. Now take those Lucky Charm marshmallows that you separated earlier and throw those on top. Mix it all together for about 10-15 seconds. Now drown it in chocolate milk. Now go into the living room, turn on Beavis and Butthead, and feast like the king that you are.
