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Joshua Richey

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  • March 18, 06:13 PM

    Jamie Foxx Playing 'Lynch' in Kane & Lynch Movie

    (I made this joke in the article that I’m writing. I found it so witty that I needed to post it here as well.)

    Being one of the few people that enjoyed Kane & Lynch, I was pretty excited about the idea of a Kane & Lynch movie. The excitement kind of went into overdrive when Bruce Willis was cast as Kane.

    It was a case of perfect casting, I thought. Today the film’s screenwriter, Kyle Ward, announced on his Twitter: “”Done deal… Jamie Foxx is in!”

    Now Jamie Foxx is a great actor, but who was he going to play? Oh, he’s playing Lynch? That’s weird. Why? Well…


    This is Lynch in the Kane & Lynch video game…

    …this is Jamie Foxx.

    This is Lynch from the Kane & Lynch video game…

    …this is Jamie Foxx.

    This is Lynch from the Kane & Lynch video game…

    …this is Jamie Fox.

    There’s a pretty obvious difference between the two; can you spot it? No? Well Jamie Foxx doesn’t have nearly a large enough bald spot to play Lynch. This is an outrage.

  • March 18, 05:59 PM

    To fap or not to fap – that is the question

    • Joanna: I looked at your blog today.
    • Me: Umm...why?
    • Joanna: I was curious.
    • Me: It's pretty stupid, huh?
    • Joanna: It was...interesting.
    • Me: lols
    • Joanna: I've got one question though...
    • Me: Shoot.
    • Joanna: What does 'fap' mean?
    • Me: What?
    • Joanna: Fap. You say that a lot on there. What does it mean?
    • Me: Oh. Well...umm...it's like another way of saying 'cool'.
    • Joanna: Really? That's kind of stupid.
    • Me: Agreed.
  • March 18, 04:38 PM

    Hollywood is (still) out of ideas

    I signed up with MysticArt Pictures last summer. One of the “perks” to the gig is that they send me casting calls for upcoming shows that they’re producing. Please allow me to share with you the latest one that they just sent…

    Hey Joshua,

    MysticArt Is casting a new Unscripted Comedy in the LA area for a project called “Breakup with me”. We are searching for both Men and Woman in their early to mid 20’s who have extremely dynamic, charismatic and strongly opinionated personalities about “Breaking Up”.

    This is an unscripted comedy surrounding A dream team of unappealing people who help end dead end relationships at the request of one of the two people in that relationship.


    Here are some sample prototypes:

    Slob: This is Booger from “Revenge of the Nerds”. Think Jonah Hill, Nate Torrence, or Judah Friedlander

    Geek: This character would be similar to the guys on “Big Bang Theory”.

    Choch: Think an unappealing version one of the guys on the Jersey Shore cast.

    Hot Chick: This is the barometer for all the guys. She is hot, in control, and knows what works and what doesn’t.

  • March 17, 12:24 PM

    I'm going to chocobo a bitch

    What’s this?

    I got a package from 411mania! It must be another game to review. This pleases me.

    But what could it be? Is it God of War III? Heavy Rain? MLB: The Show? Bioshock 2? OMG! I hope it’s God of War III. Let’s open it up…

    …ummm… Final Fantasy XIII?

    There must be some mistake. I’m not an RPG guy, let alone a Japanese RPG guy. The only Final Fantasy that I’ve ever played was Final Fantasy 7, and that was back in 1997 or so. I didn’t even play through it all. I got bored with it on the first disc. Which sucks because there were like 4 discs with that game. OMG! Hopefully this Final Fantasy isn’t several discs too…

    Whew! Just one disc. I can do this.

    Just kidding. FFFFUUUUUU!!!!

    Well, this should be interesting. Me reviewing a Final Fantasy game would be like Sarah Palin hosting Jeopardy. It takes about 80 hours for normal Final Fantasy fans to complete this game; meaning that it’s going to take me somewhere between 120-200.  

  • March 16, 09:33 PM

    MS Paint Is Fun

    Kenneth Q Action and I got bored tonight. What do we do when we get bored? Pssh! What don’t we do. Well tonight we had a throwback night. See, back in high school, we would do this thing where we would give each other a phrase and then the other would have to make an MS Paint picture themed around that phrase. It was good times. Tonight we did that again.

    Mike’s first picture: “The More You Know”

    My first picture: “My Sleep Schedule is going to kill me”

    Mikes second picture: “Cannot Be Unseen”

    My second picture: “There has got to be a better way to get rid of these giants”


    (It’s hard to tell, but that’s a robot and a pickle stuffing giants into a really big well)

    Mike’s third picture: “This party sucks”

    My third picture: “Sorry. I didn’t see you sitting there”

    (Yes, that is a Domo riding a pink recliner through space)

  • March 16, 12:57 AM

    This is Amber Heard. She’s cute, huh? She’s not so great at picking which movies to star in though. I just watched The Stepfather — which she appears in — and it’s one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen.

    Movies on Film: The Stepfather Review

  • March 15, 10:02 PM

    The 5 Greatest Breakfast Cereals of All-Time

    I loved me some breakfast cereal when I was a kid. Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms were awesome, but they weren’t in my top 5. So without further ado, here’s my Top 5 Favorite Cereals of All-Time.

    5.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal
    Like most, I was a total tool when it came to the Heroes in a Half-Shell. In addition to action figures, clothes and Halloween costumes, I had to have me some Ninja Turtle breakfast cereal. Now the funny thing here is that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was proof that a kid will eat anything as long as it’s associated with something he likes. If you would have tried to get me to eat Chex when I was a kid, you would have had a fight on your hands. Even if you would have added to marshmallows to the mix, I’m not sure that I’d have eaten a bite. However, instead of Chex, call them ‘nets’ and make the marshmallows into the shape of tiny turtles, and, well, that’s a completely different story.

    4.) Ghostbusters: The Cereal
    Unlike the TMNT cereal, Ghostbusters was actually tasty in addition to having something on the box that kept me excited. It was essentially a combination of Frakenberry, Captain Crunch and Fruit Loops. Except the loops were in the shape of Ghostbuster signs and there were ghost-shaped marshmallows – which makes all the difference in the world when you’re 4-5 years old.



    3.) Rice Krispies Treats Cereal
    Perhaps the only cereal that I ate ‘dry’ more than I did with milk and in a bowl. Rice Krispie Treat Cereal was pure brilliance on Kellogg’s part. There’s nobody that doesn’t like the marshamallowy treats. You make them bite-sized and put them on a shelf, a kid like me will beg for them; and cry for them if need be.



    2.) Fruity Pebbles
    Aside from those last few soggy bites, there’s (still) nothing more delicious than a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. It’s the absolutely perfect combination: they’re pretty to look at, they’re fruity; they always had great prizes inside and cool games on the back; and they’re marketing campaign featuring Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble played continuously on Saturday mornings while I was trying to watch Uncanny X-men and Eek The Cat. They’re especially good if you’re high. (lol wut?)



    1.) My Cereal (Code Name: Sugar Bomb)
    Oh, what’s that? You didn’t know that I created a cereal? Well you should. It’s only the fucking best breakfast cereal in the history of the world; so great in fact that I’ve kept it secret up until now. This cereal is so special that you can’t go to a store and find it sitting beside a box of Sugar Crisp. Oh no, you’re going to have to make this yourself. Here’s what you’re going to need.

    - A box of Lucky Charms
    - A box of Fruity Pebbles
    - A box of Cocoa Crispies
    - A half a gallon of chocolate milk

    Now first you’re going to want to empty the entire box of Lucky Charms into a large bowl. Remove the marshmallows and put them to the side. Did you get them all? Good. Now throw away the actual cereal portion. Get another bowl, grab the one that you’d usually serve popcorn to if you had guests over, and proceed to pour lots (or 4 shakes) of Cocoa Crispies into the bowl. Done? Now repeat this process but using the Fruity Pebbles instead. You’re almost finished. Now take those Lucky Charm marshmallows that you separated earlier and throw those on top. Mix it all together for about 10-15 seconds. Now drown it in chocolate milk. Now go into the living room, turn on Beavis and Butthead, and feast like the king that you are.

  • March 15, 09:14 PM

    (via Fukung.net)

  • March 14, 11:09 PM

    …so this just happened.

  • March 14, 10:31 PM

    March Madness is here and my Bearcats aren’t dancing. UC’s leprechaun of a coach is coming back next year, which means that I’m in need of a new favorite team for the next year. Who’s it going to be? All you have to do is eliminate the Kentucky Wildcats from the tournament. Do this and you have my support for the next year — or until Mick Cronin is fired.

    So who’s it going to be? Eastern Tennessee State? Texas? Wake Forest? Perhaps my Huggy Bear and his West Virgina Mountaineers? You beat UK and make my Facebook page explode with the cries of a hundred butthurt UK fans, and you’ll have a fan in me for the rest of time.

  • March 14, 05:42 PM

    Die Antwoord - $copie

    I’m casually late to board the Die Antwoord train, I know. But I can’t stop listening to it despite the fact that it may be awful.

  • March 14, 01:05 AM

    NBA JAM trailer

    Words cannot express how excited I am for this.

  • March 13, 11:50 PM

    Look what I made. Don’t you act like you don’t know what it is. You cannot have grown up in the early-to-mid 90’s and not know what this is.

  • March 13, 11:38 PM

    CANNOT BE UNSEEN!!!!!

  • March 13, 11:32 PM

    fyeahstarwars:

    (via robotindisguise)

    If only…

  • March 13, 02:11 PM

    Conan The Barbarian

  • March 12, 10:57 PM

    There’s not a single second of actual gameplay in this new Brink trailer, but it’s still one of the most amazing video game trailers that I’ve ever seen. POST APOCALYPTIC PARKOUR FTW!

  • March 12, 10:29 PM

    J.R. Smith is good at dunking.

  • March 12, 01:16 AM

    thevelcro:

    (via droptoehold)

    It took me a second, but it eventually made me burst out into laughter.

  • March 11, 12:19 PM

    Seven Years...

    March 10th, 2003: an 18 year old Joshua Richey started his first day here at work.

    March 10th, 2010: He’s still here.

    Seven years. Seven long years. If I would have had a baby that first day that I started here, it would already be 7 years old, in 3rd grade and smoking two packs a day. Had I broken a mirror on my first day of work, my bad luck would just now be running out. Had I gotten married on that first day, my marriage would have now lasted twice as long as most marriages in the United States. Had I killed a man that first day…well, you get my point.

    What’s funny is that I actually only took this job because Blockbuster was taking forever to set up my 2nd interview. What’s even funnier is that I used to say “I only work here because they work around my school schedule,” but I’ve been out of school since 2007, yet I’m still here. I’ve had fun for the most part. I’ve flirted with leaving, heck, I even took a job in Lexington for a short time. But this place has been good to me. I still enjoy it thanks mostly to My Disturbing Boss.

    Also, I can’t help but to think of how many burnt Hot Pockets I’ve consumed these last 7 years.

  • March 11, 08:26 AM

    yeahiwasintheshit:

    korean man marries body pillow

    Hey Japan, how are you doing over there? No. Seriously. Are you alright? Just thought I’d ask being that your citizens are getting married to body pillows and what not.

  • March 11, 12:16 AM

    dowelikeit:

    rbateson/goodbyeonanightlikethis:

    I’m babysitting my nephews tomorrow and I made sure to get a batch of Clementines for them. Whenever they get too rambunctious I can always settle them down by shoving Clementines in their little faces. They eat those things like gangbusters!

    I’ll eat the shit out of some clementines as long as they’re seedless. Hell, I’d probably starve without them.

  • March 10, 10:57 PM

    I would very much like to own one of these.

  • March 10, 09:33 PM

    The Bengals signed Antonio Bryant today, which makes me very happy. They need a speedster that can run down the field. I was really warming up to the idea of Terrell Owens being a Bengal, but Bryant has been quite a playmaker these last few years and is nearly 8 years younger.

  • March 10, 08:00 PM

    Well, I finally joined Skype. My upcoming interview with Ruben Fleischer forced my hand. I also just realized that many of you have yet to hear my sexy voice, so here’s a snippet from kennethqaction and I talking briefly about the Oscars tonight while I was testing my equipment. (I’m the one that makes the awful Baby Geniuses analogy)

    My Skype name is ‘joshuarichey’ - stfu! I couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t taken!

  • March 09, 04:59 PM

    Cool Story, Bro

    I know that I’ve plugged it about a million times by this point, but my friend T.J. and I started Movies on Film a little over a month ago, and it’s been very successful thus far. It’s getting lots of traffic, it’s constantly getting a plethora of followers, and, most importantly, he and I are having a lot of fun with it. One of the things that I wanted to do down the line was interview people within the industry. I took a shot in the dark and contacted Ruben Fleischer (director of Zombieland) to see if he’d be interested in being our first interview.

    Today, while enduring a miserable, busy day at work, my phone beeps and I get this response from him. Now I’ve got to think of some creative questions that don’t make me look like an idiot.

  • March 09, 04:17 PM

    (There are reports circulating today that Jim John Krasinski has been (or is on the verge of being) cast to play Captain America)

    Don’t get me wrong. I like John Krasinski. I used to be a huge fan of The Office back before it started to get lame. However, not once while watching that show did I ever think “Jim would make a great Captain America.” He doesn’t look like Steve Rogers, and the producers might actually need to create a Super Soldier Serum to get Jim in Captain America shape. I also keep picturing him making his “Jim Face” while beating down Nazi’s.

    (SEXY NAME CORRECTION UPDATE!!!: Thanks for the correction, Katie. It’s hard to separate the two.)

  • March 09, 12:25 PM

    I’ve never seen Tron before. Is that bad? It always looked silly to me, and I’m betting that it hasn’t aged very well. But then I seen this trailer for the sequel, Tron Legacy, and I can’t help but to want to go watch the original now. It looks so damn awesome.

  • March 08, 11:54 PM

    This also happens if I accidentally look at family portraits during hardcore fap sessions.

  • March 08, 06:18 PM

    Enough is enough. So I’ve got a lot of saved tags on Tumblr. For some reason the Kelly Brook tag never gets updated. There are dozens of Kristin Bell and Monica Bellucci updates every day, but nothing for Kelly. This makes my penis sad. So for those of you that are like me and are in need of new Kelly Brook fap material, I give you these pictures of her from some party last night.

  • March 08, 12:05 PM

    Well played, kid. Well played.

  • March 08, 01:25 AM

    gamefreaksnz:

    New: Iron Man 2 Trailer

    Pants shat. Boner raging.

  • March 08, 12:41 AM

    SNL Digital Short: Zach Galifianakis Drops by the Set

    In case you missed SNL this weekend, Zach Galifianakis hosted, and it was a pretty solid show. My favorite skit was this one.

  • March 07, 07:55 PM
  • March 07, 05:04 PM

    orangehouse:

    (via juliasegal)

    Sorry, Veronica, it could never work between us.

  • March 07, 02:42 PM

    I’m watching this movie called In The Loop. It’s good thus far, but the amount of cursing in it is inspiring. If you’re a fan of naughty words, watch this brief clip.

  • March 07, 12:20 PM

    (very) Early Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Impressions

    • EA’s been having problems with their servers so I’ve not gotten to spend as much time with the multiplayer as I’d like to. I was lucky to last 5 minutes in a match last night without my connection going out.
    • From what I was able to play of the multiplayer, it was a bit overwhelming. There are already people that have invested 30+ hours into it and that already know the maps like the back of their hands. This translates into: I died a lot.
    • The single-player hasn’t hooked me yet. In fact, it’s kind of pissing me off. The amount of cutscenes that I’ve had to sit through in just an hour’s worth of gameplay is brutal. It honestly feels like there is one every 5 minutes.
    • As for the gameplay itself, it’s very unforgiving. I’m playing on normal and I’m dying a lot. The odd placement of checkpoints makes it even more unforgiving. If you’re mowing through a horde of guys and die at the very end, prepare to go through that same horde again and again.
    • That all said, I’m having fun with it. Hopefully the server problems get fixed up quickly.
  • March 07, 11:46 AM

    sparkus:

    thedailywhat:

    [fukung.]

    Double WIN.

    I’ve been up for over 31 hours now. I’m as close to being a zombie as I’ve ever been before. That said, this still made me crack up.

  • March 06, 07:13 PM

    The Oscars are tomorrow night. You don’t even have to watch them. Over at Movies on Film, we tell you who’s going to win…or should. We didn’t take it very seriously. For example, T.J. hopes Precious wins every award because he fears what will happen to Gabourey Sidibe if she doesn’t start getting some exercise.

    Movies on Film: Josh & TJ’s 2010 Oscar Predictions

  • March 06, 02:55 PM

    Going to the other side

    Seems like all that I’ve been doing lately is working and writing. Heck, it’s Saturday and I still had to go into work and work 6 hours overtime. So, afterwards, I felt like going and spoiling myself.

    I went to Best Buy and bought…

    • Battlefield: Bad Company 2 for the 360
    • Moar rams (Computer memory, not the NFL franchise from St. Louis)
    • Red Faction: Guerrilla - It’s only 20 bucks.
    • …and WINDOWS 7, FINALLY!!

    Yeah, the dark days of Vista are about over. Vista, you can go suck a dick. Once I hit ‘create post’ I’m tossing in the upgrade disc and I’ll finally get to see what it’s like to use a decent OS again.

    I’ll see you on the other side.

  • March 06, 08:14 AM

    …and this is why T.J. is the bestest.

  • March 05, 12:19 PM

    (via nsfwunlessyourjoballowsblowjobs)

    I’m in love. (Although she does kind of look like Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts.)

  • March 05, 12:17 PM

    (via hellyeahmonicabellucci)

    Monica Bellucci is in her mid-40’s and she’s still the hottest woman on Earth.

  • March 05, 08:23 AM

    How does one go about getting a suit made entirely of eye balls, Mr. Mercury?

  • March 04, 09:16 PM

    If only these were the real Zoobooks commercials.

  • March 04, 09:07 PM

    Evil Dead in 60 seconds and in clay

  • March 04, 07:17 AM

    becauseimjay:

    Green Ranger

    I would totally wear these.

  • March 04, 01:27 AM

    HOLY MOLY! I just watched The Hurt Locker and it was amazing. I wrote a little something about it over at Movies on Film, and it’s also the first movie that we’ve given a perfect score too. Having now seen this and Avatar both, the fact that Avatar even has a chance to beat The Hurt Locker on Sunday for Best Picture is a joke of epic proportions.

    Movies on Film: The Hurt Locker Review

  • March 03, 06:38 PM

    orangehouse:

    The candelier was made using about 5000 gummy bears. No bears were harmed in the making, however, as the ones featured in the chandelier are actually made of acrylic. This should do wonders for the longevity of the piece, but unfortunately won’t help you with your late-night hunger. [via curbly]

    This is where the normal person would ask “why would you want a chandelier made of gummy bears?” I say why wouldn’t you want a chandelier made of gummy bears.

  • March 03, 05:53 PM

Recent tracks

25/m/cincy

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