Meghan Ross

It’s no secret (to my no readers) that I suck at updating my blog. But I always have some relatively valid excuses to my post-grad procrastination! Such as trying to get a web series started (please follow us on Twitter here, or don’t and live life always wondering “what if?”), meeting my heroes/real parents/sisterwives Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein of Portlandia, and going to 30 ROCK LIVE! AKA ONE OF THE GREATEST EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE! Which I’m sure I’ll blog about, like 14 months from now. But until I really update this thing, enjoy this wonderful image of SNL writers/comedy idols/my future boyfriends, Mike O’Brien and John Mulaney.

For real though, I’ll try to update this thing. Maybe possibly eventually.

Things I’ve been doing instead of updating this blog during the remainder of January/month of February:

1. Meeting Aziz Ansari after seeing his practice set at the Comedy Cellar and nerdily talking to him about UCB classes. Yes, nerdily is an adverb that exists on this blog.

2. Going to my 1st east coast ASSSSCAT improv show with The Office‘s Zach Woods as one of the performers. 1st ASSSSCAT show I went to was in LA. Both coasts’ shows kicked ASSSSCAT.

3. Going to a taping of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart for the first time. This is especially a big deal for me because I’ve watched and idolized The Daily Show since middle school and it’s my fake news dream to be a correspondent.

4. Hanging out with Portlandia‘s Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein all day, pretty much. By “hanging out” I mean going to their Paley Center conversation event moderated by another UCB great, Julie Klausner, and attending the Portlandia tour at Bowery Ballroom, where my friend and I asked Fred and Carrie if we could marry them (like all 4 of us being married as friends) during the Q&A. They agreed. Also, we spotted SNL writer Chris Kelly (who we had seen the night before as narrator at the Stone Cold Fox show at UCB) and 30 Rock‘s Jack McBrayer in the audience.

5. Performing improv on stage at UCB for the 1st time. This followed the memorable day of hanging out with Fred and Carrie. This also followed several beers, which gave my friend and I the liquid courage to perform at UCB’s Lady Improv Jam (I’d only had a few of my Improv 101 classes at UCB up until that point).

6. Moving into my first non-BU apartment. This is what allows me to now consume even more amounts of comedy out in the city at night, without having to sprint to catch a less frequent train that doesn’t run late. My roommates are awesome, my room is awesome, my location is awesome (around the corner from where Eli Manning lives in uptown Hoboken), and the rent is super affordable. Good things like this rarely happen to me. I’m pretty sure I’m living an extended episode of Betty White’s version of Punk’d and some old person is going to eventually pop out of my closet and tell me it’s all a lie.

7. Celebrating the Giants winning the Super Bowl after defeating the Pats. I had a dream that they beat them again like my freshmen year at BU. So I’m pretty sure I had a lot to do with that win.

8. Seeing Joe Mande and SNL‘s Mike O’Brien and Jay Mohr perform stand up at Comedy at the Grocery. Joe Mande opened up for the John Mulaney Comedy Central taping I went to this summer (both super hilarious) and Mike O’Brien does one of my favorite web series, 7 Minutes in Heaven with Mike O’Brien. I also met a bunch of awesome former SNL interns (including Comedy at the Grocery‘s founder and host, Julian Kiani).

9. Forming my 1st sketch group/web series, Ladies in the Men’s Room. This is something I’ve wanted to do for awhile and now that I’ve met some incredibly funny new friends who do stand up and improv, we’re going to make this happen within the next few months. Ladies in the Men’s Room (because sometimes you just gotta go) consists of myself, my friend and fellow BU alum Andrea Bartunek, and my friend from my UCB Improv 101 class, Kara Mohr.

10. Going to a shit-ton more UCB shows. While taking Improv 101, I went to as many UCB improv shows as I can fit into my schedule after work, which included Harold Night, John and Scott, Death by Roo Roo, Grandma’s Ashes: Grandma’s Ashes Gets Dark, and Gravid Water. I also started going to The Chris Gethard Show, which used to be held at UCB but has moved to a studio and airs on public access in Manhattan and streams online. Fellow Ladies in the Men’s Room Kara introduced me to the studio show, which hosts a bunch of great people each week.

11. Another east coast ASSSSCAT, with George Michael (Michael Cera) and Maeby Fünke (Alia Shawkwat) in the audience. Also happened to be the best ASSSSCAT I’ve been to. I’m afraid I just blue myself.

12. Seeing SNL‘s Bobby Moynihan and the UCB Touring Company perform improv at The Met. First time seeing Moynihan perform improv, alongside some of my favorite UCB performers like Fran Gillespie, Shannon O’Neill, and Neil Casey.

13. Performing in my first improv show! This was for my Improv 101 class at UCB and I had spent the week leading up to it going to improv shows and jams in preparation (including my 2nd Lady Improv Jam, where I got to perform on stage with 30 Rock‘s Sue Galloway which was the COOLEST). I was super nervous for the grad show, but it ended up going pretty well and most importantly, I had a lot of fun. I don’t know if I’ll ever find something that makes me happier than hearing people laugh at the weird shit I’m doing intentionally to make them laugh. I’m sure I’ll find that sandwich one day, but for now, this is what makes me happy.

14. You can’t end lists on 13, so what I’m doing tonight: Going to yet another UCB show with the ladies of Ladies in the Men’s Room, this time Employee of the Month featuring one of my favorite authors, Sloane Crosley, and Daily Show‘s Aasif Mandvi. Also, another taping of The Chris Gethard Show featuring Julie Klausner this week.

Oh, and I started my 3rd UCB class, Sketch Writing 201 yesterday. So you can’t be pissed at me for not writing in this blog often, all of you nobody who reads this!!!

(via @kellyoxford, another kick-ass lady)

8. Whitest Kids U’Know at Sketchfest NYC - My friend and I had gone to see the Pangea 3000/Harvard Sailing Team show at UCB Theatre for Sketchfest NYC, which were both hilarious. Whitest Kids U’Know was sold out, but we went to the back of the standby line (which was super long) and this random couple gave us their day passes since they were done with them. So we got to go back inside and skip the line, sit right in the front, and watch one of my favorite sketch groups, ‘FO FREE! It was awesomesauce and since we had the passes, we were able to sit there and stay for the next show — a screening of a bunch of short videos from Comedy Central. I even got free beer from Comedy Central! The only thing better than comedy and booze is FREE comedy and booze…unless it’s free because it’s shitty, which it wasn’t in this case.

9. 1st trip to Atlantic City, aka Fake Vegas or “Fegas” - a few of my BU friends and I decided to go to AC in July and since most of them were driving in from Boston and got stuck in traffic, we all didn’t end up getting to the The Water Club Hotel at the Borgata until like 12:30/1 am. (Un)Luckily for us, the bars/clubs/casinos don’t close until super late and everything was right in our hotel, so it wasn’t like we had to worry about getting home. The combination of these elements can be dangerous, especially if you’re me and you need to maintain a certain blood alcohol level just to tolerate being around guidos and their half-dressed prey. I was like the Fred Astaire of dance-pulling my friends away from creepers that night. I also ended the night (or whatever you call 4:30 am) by showering in my clothes and silently crying myself to sleep while listening to Amy Winehouse Pandora station and sleeping on a leather pillow in a fetal position on the floor — an activity my friends and I have labeled “Amy Winehousing.” It’s important to note that this was shortly after Amy Winehouse’s death, and I defend my behavior by claiming it was my delayed reaction to her death. All that talent, you guys.

10. Seeing a Beatle live for the 1st time: Paul McCartney concert at Yankee Stadium & Stone Temple Pilots at NJPAC - This was not only a highlight of 2011, but also a highlight of my life. I’m a huge Beatles fan (even went by myself on a daytrip to Liverpool right before I came back to the states from my semester abroad) and Paul is also my favorite Beatle. I went with my Grandma and my aunt (who share my love for The Beatles, as does pretty much everyone in my family, and who have seen Paul in concert a couple times)  along with my brother. It was a fantastic set and he played all of my favorites, from Beatles classics to hits from “Band on the Run.” This was definitely one the best concerts I’ve ever been to. I also went to see one of my favorite 90s bands, Stone Temple Pilots, at NJPAC with my brother and the same aunt (who also took us to see Pearl Jam twice at MSG, including my 21st birthday concert). They played all their hits and it was another great, high energy concert.

11. Stalking a 30 Rock shoot right outside 30 Rock & seeing Tina Fey - I follow @olv on Twitter and I’m not normally one of those people who would stalk down a movie/TV show set…unless it’s one of my favorite comedy shows, in which case, yes I am that person. So when I found out that 30 Rock was shooting over at my old internship stomping grounds, I knew I had to stop by during my lunch break. When I went over there, they had the sidewalk in front of NBC blocked off, but people were watching from across the street. I saw Tina, Tracy Morgan, and Denise Richards doing a guest cameo. One day I hope to be on the other side of the street, working on the set of a hilarious NBC comedy, instead of stalking it from outside Christie’s.

12. My 1st West Coast adventure: visiting friends in LA - Although I have some family in California and my parents lived there before they had kids, I’ve never even been to the west coast. I was considering moving to LA right after graduation, and I still plan on moving there at some point for at least a year for a different aspect of the TV/film industry than what New York has, but I was excited to at least finally visit the city. My good friend and former roommate moved out there with her boyfriend after graduation, so it was also really nice to see and hang out with them for a few days. We went to Disneyland (which was decorated for Halloween since it was late October), Hollywood (big sign, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Walk of Fame), Universal City, Santa Monica (where my friends live), Venice Beach, Beverly Hills, and the LA Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre to finally see an ASSSSCAT show! I had an amazing time with great company and I’m hoping to visit Hannah and Ryan again soon (possibly in the spring for PaleyFest 2012).

13. Taking my 1st UCB class: Sketch Writing 101 - Right before I went to LA, I signed up and had my first sketch writing class at UCB in New York. I had wanted to take UCB classes for years, but never had the time/money to do so. Also, classes fill up quickly and I can only take weeknights or weekend classes (a lot of classes are scheduled in the middle of the day), so it took a while for me to find a 101 class that fit with my work schedule. I can honestly say that Sketch 101 was the highlight of my week and it made me want to continue taking UCB classes until I complete all of the levels. For Sketch 101, you write a sketch each week (based on what the theme is, such as character sketches, topical/political sketches, parodies, etc.) and your classmates read it aloud and give feedback. UCB has a great, encouraging community for sketch comedy and improv, and although my Mom doesn’t exactly approve (I went to school for a business degree and she still thinks I should go to law school), comedy makes me happy and I plan to pursue it more with UCB. Plus, it’s awesome to be surrounded by people who love comedy and have a weird/twisted sense of humor as much as I do.

14. A week of SNL and 30 Rock performers/writers - A couple weeks after I went to LA, I went to an SNL writers panel for New York Comedy Festival at Paley Center. I was basically sitting a few feet away from people with my dream job and who I idolize. Head writer Seth Meyers was there, along with John Mulaney, Colin Jost, Chris Kelly, Marika Sawyer, and a bunch of other writers.

The next day, I went to Maude night at UCB for my Sketch 101 requirements, and I also got tickets for the John and Scott improv show right before it. It features 30 Rock‘s Scott Adsit and John Lutz, but Adsit was running late from a 30 Rock shoot, so they called up SNL‘s Jason Sudeikis to fill in. Right before the show started, Jason Sudeikis cut me on the beer line and I thought that was the COOLEST. Adsit ended up making the show in time, so all three of them performed and it was hilarious. After their show, my classmates and I were outside on line again for Maude night when Adsit, Lutz, and Sudeikis were talking to people outside the theatre before they biked away (which I thought was awesome, since they clearly can afford any other mode of transportation). Lutz’s wife, fellow 30 Rock castmate, and UCB performer Sue Galloway was outside with them, too. When we went back into the theatre to watch the Maude sketches, we also spotted UCB alum and Gabe from The Office, Zach Woods. If only someone from Community and Parks and Rec showed up, I would have seen someone from all my favorite NBC comedies all in one night at UCB. Though I did see Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec) at UCB LA when he performed with ASSSCAT.

15. BU beating Cornell in the Red Hot Hockey game at MSG - MSG hosts BU vs. Cornell hockey games every other year since my freshmen year and although I’m not a huge hockey fan, my school is known for our team and I’ve been to each Red Hot Hockey game during Thanksgiving weekend. The 1st year, we beat them by a lot; 2nd year, we tied; and this year, we beat them in overtime. It was my 1st game as an alum, which was weird, but it was nice to be around fellow BU terriers again.

16. Community flash mob outside 30 Rock - The day before the event, I randomly found out about the Community flash mob that was being held near the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree (also right outside NBC’s headquarters) as a fun attempt for fans to #SaveCommunity, since it has recently been put on a hiatus by NBC. I went down during my lunch break on my last day at work before holiday vacation and was surrounded by people that are as nerdy about Community as I am. We held tiny Christmas trees, wore darkest timeline goatees, and sang “O, Christmas Troy” while being taped by Sony and TVGuide. It got a lot of media coverage, and even Community stars like Joel McHale were tweeting about it. It was a cool, TV-nerdy thing to be a part of.

Also included in this list of 2011 highlights but I didn’t feel like writing a longer thing: free Matt and Kim mini concert for Windows Phone Launch Party at a random warehouse in Chelsea. Awesome music, booze, and food, all ‘FO FREE! Also, the Comedy Central taping of SNL writer John Mulaney’s stand up special at NYU that was HILARIOUS and ‘FO FREE!

Last night, I welcomed in 2012 with a performance by a hip Brooklyn band while surrounded by crowds of scantily-dressed middle and high schoolers getting their first taste of alcohol (poisoning) after assumedly breaking into their rich parents’ liquor cabinets while their rich parents were probably boozing on a yacht near some French-owned Caribbean island, with no concern or knowledge of where their children were. No, I was not at a bah/bar mitzvah or sweet sixteen for a privileged New York City prostitot — I was at Matt and Kim‘s New Year’s Eve concert at Hammerstein Ballroom! I was surprised by the predominantly young audience since the past two times I saw Matt and Kim (once in Boston, another time in Chelsea), it was mostly people in their 20′s and 30′s, and while my friend and I were able to find some people close to our age, I didn’t let the baby wannabe-hipsters ruin an otherwise awesome set from one of my favorite bands. I mean, Matt and Kim played Gob’s magic show song for Bluth’s sake! No projectile vomiting preteen or me standing alone at midnight surrounded by people making out (while the one guy I even thought about spontaneously asking if he was mouth disease-free to be a potential midnight kiss ended up being kissed by another GUY…thanks for nothing, cute gay couple) could take away the joy that moment brought me!

Anyways, like last night, 2011 had its “moments that didn’t totally suck (but were actually frigen awesome)” as well as “moments that flat out SUCKED.” Here’s my list of “moments that didn’t totally suck (but were actually frigen awesome),” in chronological order:

1. Writing for TVWithoutPity again & being an NBCUniversal campus rep - I went back to my summer internship at TWoP during my senior year winter break, so it still technically counts as part of 2011. This explains why it’s on this list. Once you read that, you’ll understand why being NBCUniversal campus rep for BU was a highlight of 2011 as well (I’m the 4th place network’s #1 fan).
2. Writing for the Quad and butv10′s The Morning After & meeting the wonderful and brilliant staff - When I went back to BU for my last semester in January 2011, I decided to give myself more free time and not write for the BUzz, BU’s print lifestyle magazine anymore. But then I decided to give myself less time and write for the Quad, BU’s independent online magazine. It was one of the best decisions though, since I was able to write more about stuff that I loved – from TV comedies to social media comedy, and from social media “comedy” to TV comedies. That was pretty much my range. Through writing for the Quad, I met some great people who became great friends, conducted one of the weirdest interviews (rather, “twinterview”) in BU history probably, and even had my own weekly column — BU TweetCreep — where I basically stalked and mocked (in a not-to-be-taken-seriously-at-all way) the BU Twitterverse. I also continued writing for The Morning After (butv10‘s version of Colbert Report/SNL‘s Weekend Update), the show my friends started the semester before. We’ve come a long way since filming the test pilot in my tiny apartment. I only wish I had more than just my last semester to work (and sometimes play) with such an awesome group of talented people.
3. BU Alternative Spring Break in Nashville, TN - I was an ASB coordinator for the Nashville trip and although it wasn’t one of my top trip choices, it became one of the best experiences of my college career. I learned how to build wheelchair ramps with the United Cerebral Palsy of Middle Tennessee, I met and became good friends with the wonderful BU student volunteers on our trip and our awesome chaperone (as well as the best ASB site contact ever and his lovely family that we met on our last day), and I explored a very cool city that I’ve never been to, aka Viva Nash Vegas. My livetweeting of the trip even got us on TV when NBC’s Nashville affiliate came to film us at site the 2nd day (we built 4 ramps in total that week – the article misprinted that).
4. The Strokes concert at Madison Square Garden - Ever since I found out that The Strokes played at BU’s Agganis Arena a year before I went to BU, I’ve wanted to see them at some point while I was in college. I had been a fan of them since high school and when I found out they were playing MSG during my last semester, I immediately bought tickets (right when they went on sale, while I was at work for BU Housing, much to my boss’s confusion as to why I had to be in front of the computer exactly at 11 a.m. that day). It was an epic concert as expected and Elvis Costello even made a surprise guest appearance, adding to the epicness.
5. My 1st baseball game ever, Red Sox vs. somebody at Fenway - I’ve been going to football games since before I could walk (my family members are all die-hard Giants fans with season tickets since they 1st moved the stadium to NJ), but at 21-years-old, I had never been to a baseball game. I’m kind of apathetic about baseball (it bores me compared to other sports I’ve played/watched, like soccer or football), so I have no position on the war between NY Yankees and Boston Red Sox. I’ve actually been to more concerts at baseball stadiums than baseball games at baseball stadiums (DMB at Fenway in summer ’09, DMB at Mets’ Citi Field in summer ’10, Paul McCartney at Yankee Stadium in summer ’11). So my roommate (also a true Bahston girl and Sox fan) and I went to my 1st game. Which I think they won. It was a fun experience, though baseball still bores me.
6. Senior Week with my best friends - The week before we graduate from BU, there is a week full of events (mostly booze-fueled), which is one last chance to hang out with all your friends (and maybe some enemies) that you made while at BU. Highlights include my 1st trip to Martha’s Vineyard, where I spent most of the day riding a bike around the island (I fucking love riding bikes) with two of my good friends who moved to LA shortly after graduation; senior pub crawl (like we need an excuse to day drink — we have an entire holiday dedicated to it); and Six Flags (I also fucking love roller coasters).
7. Graduating BU and earning one of the most expensive pieces of paper I’ll ever own - Although I miss college all the time (especially my time abroad in London), I guess graduating from it should fall under this list of things that didn’t totally suck. And our graduation ceremony was pretty kick-ass, with a great speech by Katie Couric.

…this blog post was getting long, so I separated “things that didn’t suck about 2011″ in college from “things that didn’t suck about 2011″ in the real world. Read part 2 for the real world stuff.

I meant to write this post a couple weeks ago during the busy holiday shopping season, but trying to get my own holiday shopping done combined with being crazy busy at work followed by work holiday parties kind of got in the way. But the good news is, you can shop all year round, so this is still relevant! I don’t often write about fashion — hell, I never really write about fashion — but despite my difficulty in shopping for clothes with my extreme indecisiveness, I do LOVE buying accessories. Especially jewelry, which is why JewelMint is one of my favorite new enablers of my addiction.

JewelMint is a monthly online subscription service that allows you to purchase exclusive jewelry designs from the creative collaboration of actress Kate Bosworth (the chick from guilty pleasure Blue Crush as well as 21, which they filmed all over BU’s campus) and her stylist Cher Coulter. They offer a range of simple to funky designs for rings, necklaces, earrings, and bracelets. It’s also super easy to use, so here’s how it works:

1. Take a quiz to reveal what type of style you have, which will determine the designs JewelMint will offer you each month.

2. Your showroom will pop up, filled with all different pieces to choose from. You can purchase as many pieces as you want each month (and also select “show me more” to add more designs to your showroom), and each piece is generally $29.99.

3. If you don’t see anything you like that month, you can select “skip month” within the first 6 days of the month. If it’s past 6 days and you forgot to skip, you will receive 1 credit (equal to $29.99) which is good for a year, so you can use it the next month you find a piece you like.

Stay tuned. I’ve been busy, y’all. BUSY LIVING LIFE! Not really, just swamped with work + TNGG stuff + UCB class + going to comedy shows + visiting college friends + such. I have a day off Friday, so I’ll try to use it to update this old thing and maybe post the 8 months of pictures I have yet to on Facebook, which is kinda like a friendship-ruining tendency of mine. Not like really ruining, but I mean it’s pretty annoying that I can’t get my friendship/social life documenting shit together. So I should probably post those Boston Marathon (April 2011) pics before the next one comes around I GUESS.

Oh, and just because:

This weekend marked my first Halloween weekend (or “Halloweekend” for all you unoriginal-Facebook-album-titling biddies) in four years that wasn’t spent among intoxicated Marios and Luigis, “Sexy Vampires / Cats / School Girls / Mormons / Hobos / Robots / Zombies / Robot Zombies / Communist Leaders / etc.,” or any other multiple sightings of costumes based on whatever current/not-really-current-anymore pop culture or political reference is big that year (see: Sarah Palin & pregnant daughter, and any other shit that’s funny for 5 minutes). This past weekend was also alumni weekend for my alma mater BU, so I actually had the opportunity to use that as an excuse to be that creepy old dude still going to college parties/bars…if it wasn’t for the fact that I generally look like a 12-year-old dressed up as a 22-year-old with the energy of an 87-year-old.

But instead of going up to Boston (based on reasons such as my friends/recent BU alums in NY thinking I’m a nerd for wanting to go to alumni weekend; the fact that I’m going to Boston next weekend to visit schools with my younger sister; and knowing that I probably don’t have enough willpower to avoid the undergrad scene with the prospect of reliving my college days), I opted to stay home in NJ. Plus, I figured I could have just as much fun (if not more) finally experiencing a “real world” Halloween by going out in the city or even Hoboken if I pregamed enough to believe I’m not still in NJ. “I will show those college kids that celebrating Halloween for 2 weeks long while ignoring responsibilities like econ midterms is NOTHING compared to a ‘real world,’ batshit crazy NYC Halloween!” I thought to myself while ignoring all weather reports. I was even planning on proving that New Yorkers were more likely to recognize my obscure TV show character costumes, unlike my senior year in Boston when a Masshole asked “are you Harry Pottah??” while I was dressed as Daria. This year, I was going to dress as Casey Klein from the brilliant-but-cancelled Starz series, Party Down. Granted, this would probably lead to people giving me their drink orders at bars, but I was okay with this (think of all the tips I could have mistakenly be given! probs way more than the girls dressed as stripper nuns/actual real strippers).

As I’ve mentioned, Halloween in college is celebrated for roughly 2 weeks. That consists of the weekend before Halloween until the weekend after, if Halloween falls on a weekday. This pretty much applies even if Halloween is on a weekend. The only time I can remember partying (or have some photographic evidence of memories) for a week long was the week in between arriving in London for the BU Study Abroad Program and the start of classes there (and senior week before college graduation, but that’s a given). Everyone wasn’t used to the time difference yet but we quickly adapted to the fact that we were all legally allowed to drink (most of us were 20 anyway). I don’t know if I’ll ever reach that high level of alcohol tolerance we all obtained while living in London and traveling throughout Europe (no one appreciates booze more with every meal/event than they do there, and more so in a classy than sloppy way). Despite this and the fact that Halloween fell on a weekend for half my college years, I generally celebrated for 2-3 days at most. Also, I’m secretly an old lady, so I only enjoy partying in moderation for significant reasons, such as holidays and 90′s-themed parties.

When my plans to go out in the city for my sisters’ birthday got pushed from Friday to Saturday, I wasn’t overcome by my college urge to celebrate Halloween for every night that it was socially acceptable (plus having 2ish jobs makes going out more than once a week — if even that much — a super tiring task). So I went to the gym after work, dressed as “girl who enjoys watching Food Network specials like ‘Battlefield Cupcake Challenge Halloween War Top Next Baker Boss’ or just shitty reality TV while wearing Halloween socks on a cardio machine.” Not my most creative costume, but it was REAL. Like Kardashian wedding contract/script real.

Saturday morning, I woke up and was not hungover from the no drinking I did the night before, nor was I in half pajamas/half early 90′s or flapper costume. But what’s more unusual than that college norm is that there’s a bastard of a snowstorm occurring outside my window. So now I’m snowed in and any plans for the rest of the weekend are cancelled because that mother of a nature. My goal of an authentic New York Halloween surrounded by inauthentic people (sluts disguised as sluts…actually, that’s pretty authentic) became as unachievable as a 4.0 at BU’s School of Management (don’t tell me otherwise, nerds). So naturally, I ate my feelings (this is what happens when I don’t get to drink my feelings) and watched TV while putting off updating this blog/uploading 7 months of pictures to Facebook/writing my character sketch for the Sketch 101 class I’m (finally!) taking at UCB NY. Oh, I also stayed up until midnight to watch that creepy ass dollhouse episode of 90′s Nickelodeon show Are You Afraid of the Dark? and was planning on watching more episodes (including a 1 am airing of Ahhh! Real Monsters) but then the power went out in my house, so I was forced to depend on my flashlight iPhone app and watch Daria episodes on my MacBook til my battery died…just like people did in the colonial days.

If the weather didn’t suck/I didn’t live in suburbia hell, I would have also tried to see the UCBeast Opening Show and ASSSSCAT with UCB’s founders (Matt Besser, Amy Poehler, Ian Roberts, Matt Walsh), which featured a bunch of other awesome comedians like Sue Galloway from 30 Rock and David Cross from Mr. Show (but most know him as analrapist Tobias Fünke on Arrested Development). To make up for my lame Halloweekend, I was going to check out the infamous West Village Halloween Parade on actual Halloween then head to a UCB sketch show with people from my sketch class, but my plans fell through and I wouldn’t get home until super late (like by the time I publish this article late), which is another downside to commuting from the suburbs when there’s cool shit always happening during weekdays in the city.

Even my most minor attempt to celebrate Halloween by dressing as Liz Lemon for work this morning (secretly, since I’d pretty much be wearing my normal work clothes and no one would notice anyway) wasn’t accomplished. People in my department don’t seem to dress up any way, and the only thing that confirmed that it was actually Halloween and that I didn’t wash my Halloween socks or paint my nails black with sparkly orange on my ring fingers for NOTHING was when a network rep came around in an Amy Winehouse wig giving out candy from a plastic pumpkin.

And then I thought I was at least making good life decisions by going to the gym after work since I wasn’t staying out in the city, but I found out too late that my gym was closed since it had no power still. So of course I go to get an iced coffee and a brownie from the hipster coffee shop a few blocks away, in an attempt to trick or “TREAT YO SELF!” (copyright Parks & Rec) and because that makes up for the gym, right? Exactly not, but it didn’t last long since I don’t drink a lot of caffeine normally/I’m an old lady so I soon felt like shit and (spoil your dinner alert) barfed up the brownie — in the one instance I’ve ever puked on Halloween/Halloweekend. And that includes my childhood years of gorging myself with chocolate from strangers collected in a pillowcase as well as my college years of doing the same except with booze while surrounded by slutty-looking strangers with the personalities of a pillowcase.

But I did have an awesome weekend before Halloweekend — I made my first trip to the west coast/California/Los Angeles to visit my old roommate and accomplish life goals more important to me than a “real world Halloween.” I’ll eventually blog about that and hopefully it will be more brief than this rambling post. And I didn’t even have to drink alcohol to have an amazing time (mostly because I was chugging water from not being used to the desert weather and because my old lady energy caused me to be sick on-and-off). And this isn’t even a PSA for not drinking (though I don’t condone babies drinking *UKWUR!), but more like a PSA for “postgrad awareness that you’re not in college anymore, and shit’s not the same, like your energy to socialize among peers your age with the presence of alcohol.”

*babies being people who know what UKWUR stands for, which I might have made up but I think means “U Know Who U R” in teen angst language

Too tired/overwhelmed to write out (another) blog post about my excitement for this news so just read…

THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and gaze at THESE CHICKEN DANCE PICTURES OF THE WHOLE CAST AT THE NEW YORKER FEST REUNION I SOMEHOW MISSED.

TASTE THE HAPPY, BLOG.

UPDATED: Cast reunion chicken dance videos via Vulture!