wearing vintage jacket, Jeans shirt, unbranded striped t-shirt, leather shorts, and black tights.

been stressed out these days, like I isolated myself most of the time.

is it possible, to be lost in what we really love the most? like, do we still love what we do? does it can disappear just like that?

june is getting nearer, in a very soon, I'll be graduated. but still, there's another storm to get through after. ah I just dislike school, it's not the school that cracks me, it's the daily routine that makes me uncomfortably annoyed. very much.

"why are your works are depressive? are you ok?" asked by a friend in class

"why your character's always tired? are you tired?" asked by a teacher

I've been doing this exercise for visiting Paris next week with my class. we'll be visiting museums and schools. while we're walking down the street and looking around and stuffs. we have this homework to do some sketches of ourself who's experienced things that really somewhat called special for us.

I know how to draw expressions, but I just don't wanna use it. I want my character to be pale and sick. then my teacher asked me, am I tired.?

I see depressed is like the most powerful feeling compare to others. I mean, not like panicky-depressed but more like silent and cold.

I found it beautiful when this character blends into some kind of noisy cheerful society. Where people speak alot, laugh and cry at the same time. instead of lying to himself, he just stays inside his blue brain, holding his two feet.

I probably should dedicate this one to myself.

thanks for my friend, Harits for telling me how to do these glitchy things, I'm so excited to explore.

those pictures are just my old pictures that I picked to be glitched. can't wait to try another. 

I made this mix today because teachers in my school were stuck in their home, thanks to the snow.

some of my photos that I edited months ago, I changed my hair color alot.


anyhoo.

I have this friend whom I never met in real. lets call him Melon. we knew each other since like the year of 2009. but then, (I think) we're kinda not talking to each other anymore, until at the end of 2012, we talked and we decided to send each other handcrafted zines, which makes me really excited.

last monday, when I was just arrived at home, and trying to reach my room's doorknob, I felt like I stepped on a letter, then I looked down. AND YES, it's a handcrafted card from Melon!

I never used my DSLR anymore, because it's too heavy to carry around, and I always walk to everywhere since I live in France. but, I'm trying to maintain my blog page again, so I'll hug it everywhere from now on.

I just bought a new fix lens for my camera by the way. 

these photos are taken by my friend who lives in Lyon, Deasy, and retouched by me.

P.S: I dyed my hair 4 times in a week when I was in Paris. but then, I go back to Peacock Blue color, cause I feel like a sea-creature with it.

smoking Jesus with Ligne Claire technic [left], Andrew Vanwyngarden with Ligne Expressive technic [right]

two days ago, I checked out dazeddigital.com and I found this tribute video of Youth. I really loved it. this video speaks one of reasons why I abroad. and I decided to make some collages from some parts of this video.

it's true, for me. I can't just stay in one place and stuck in one moment, like this soul needs to feed with experiences to be a complete person. like, I have this obsession to see everything, like literally everything. the bads & the goods.

I bought this Baseball jacket in a thrift store when I was in Paris last holidays. I've never been interested to buy one before, but this one, all blacks with red cherry fonts on it, it's just a sweet heart to me. it's written Joey on the left chest, I'm wondering who's this Joey.

oh btw, yesterday, I had the most weirdest experience so far in France. I was wearing oversized denim Jacket, I didn't take a bath, even brushed my teeth. Then I went to school. in the lunch time, I decided to eat salads that I bought in the street. Then, there's this young turkey girl with mustache drawn on her face passing me, and she came to me and she said [in french]

seconds after, she's back and gave me 5 euros. she thought that I was a homeless.

what.a.day. never forget this.

ooh, by the way. I recorded my voice again. I covered "The Hours" by Beach House, which's one of my favorite songs of them. I regretted I didn't come with my friend, Aura Ori to see them Live, when I was in Paris.

Happy new year everyone, had a good time on New Year's eve?

I spent my holidays by reuniting all the great people in Paris, it's been a long time. like the last time I met them was like 4 months ago [if I'm not mistaken] or more. I went to Paris, stayed at my friend's, Aura Ori. Luckily her house owners were on vacation with their sons. so, we could make a mess a bit or bunches.

we're not visiting touristic places this time, we went to thrift stores, eat chinese foods, laugh, and also Ori and I went to Dali exposition which was really interesting [hoahm... yawning].

collections

sorry for the lack of posts. I don't have much time to manage my blog, blame it on my tasks. I should design 30 designs in a week. Erase, shade, observe, draw, paint... every single day. it's exhausting, but more like painfully fun.

but now, I'm still in vacation [it's just for 2 weeks anyhoo]. So, I went to Marseille on 2nd November (which was actually my birthday, or maybe I can call it, Unhappy Birthday. I don't really like Birthdays frankly)

thanks to Anastasia Siantar from Brown Platform who captured all these pictures. Yes, I was hanging out with her a few days ago, so glad that finally I could meet her in Paris. We were hanging out around Le Marais (one of my favorite place in Paris).

I bought this Parka Jacket from a Vintage store called Free 'P' Star (I believe the 'P' stands for Porn, but who cares).

anyway, last week I came to a rock festival called Rock en Seine. if you can't get the picture what it's looked like, it's sort of like Coachella. I was dying to see Grimes on Friday, and YES, finally oh finally, I jiggled myself with her.

here's one of her songs that I never heard before the festival. she played it for the last song of her performance.

last afternoon, I had a picnic with warm people at some park around Port Dorée. there's this boat rental for public. I never had a chance to try, but then fortunately it happened yesterday. It's really lovely I couldn't say no to it. I still can't believe I'll be out of paris in a few days.

while paddling the boat, I was listening to some playlist that I made.

I made into tracks so you can enjoy the moment too.

here it is..

it's summer already, but here in Paris, the weather is kinda going bizarrely uncertain. I couldn't decide what to wear, once I decided to wear shorts outside, when I thought it's gonna be sunny all day, cause what TV told me so, then I ended up being frozen.

July is up, and sales everywhere.

Yesterday, I was stalking a random person who's my friend, Aura Ori an I picked someone to stalk randomly, in hope that she'll lead us to Paris Fashion Week. Then we walked like miles and miles, gasping for air, but unfortunately, the girls was vanished and we lost her mark steps. The good news is, along the way to stalk that girl, we found some vintage stores, and new places to explore. I found this secondhand store that can be paid per kilos of stuffs that we want to buy. they sell some pins which is so got me.

along the way, we didn't realize that, that day was some kind of equality day, which by meaning, it's a gay, lesbian day. it was a fun day, watching Parade, music all over the place, laughters, etc.

thanks to Aura Ori, my housemate for helping me dye my hair. yes finally!! I'm Peacock Blue, Yes it's Peacock Blue, not green. 

anywho, one of the most fun thing I did with my fellas here was doing picnic while watching eiffel sparkling in the night.

this post is gonna be honest.

year by year, day by day, Bullying in this society has been growing and growing. and honestly, I'm one of the victims. and there are so many stories to tell, but I silenced myself.

Read my story, if you care,

I'm sick of this bullying issues, and tired of seeing people feel insecure about themselves, considering themselves too much so they can fit into society. I don't believe it's such a good thing, because I believe there's always a place for each person.

so I was introduced by this campaign website, FAB, stands for Fashion Against Bullying. it's a place where people can be safe, be around with people who felt the same, to convince you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

this website campaign has been built to fight the fear of being critiqued by peers, lacking confidence from our own physical traits, the fear of being too different. Because as you know, Society has a shared tendency to follow tradition, and those who go against the grain, becomes hurt and isolated. SPEAK OUT! share your stories, convince people, stand up!

grab your white t-shirt, print-out the FAB logo on it, and don't forget to write your insult names that those bullies gave you. take your picture and post it with your words.

Support FAB on twitter [@supportFAB], go to their site by CLICK this and spread the LOVE.

I wore this outfit upside down, like the jacket, I actually wore it from the bottom, so the actual collar is hanging near my butt. Because, this jacket, is kinda retro and 80's or something, so its shoulder pads are a little too big for me, and it makes me look like a grumpy dwarf.  I did the same thing to my shirt, the sheer side is supposed to be the backside, but I guess it's better if I wore it in a kinky way.

I collect some pins like this Adolf Hitler pin. I don't know why or what my purpose is, but I see these kind of pins are really cute yet so weird. Like, I have this one pin which has Madonna picture on it, not because I admire Madonna (no I'm not a fan of her), but I just love to have pins that have famous people on it, they make me giggles.

these past few weeks, I've been busy for managing things, because [hopefully] this june I'll be gone to Paris. Yes, I'm moving out. And I've been smiling a lot lately, because things went well, and.. OH by the way, I have some projects with some super cool people which makes me super jumpy and excited, well, wish it'll work well.

I'm wearing Zara Men turtleneck, Pull & Bear jacket, unbranded shorts [ripped myself], Topshop hat, Topman socks, Mannequin Plastic dino fossil Bag, and [finally] Underground England Creepers shoes.

+ so I'd been craving for creepers shoes but never get to know how or when will I have them, but fortunately, my mom was spending a vacation in europe last weeks, and luckily she bought me pairs of them. when she was about to buy them, she called me and argued with me which ones I wanted, and I was like just capture it and send to me, but unfortunately, the guy won't let mom do that, so it was kinda gambling to wait which ones she chose. So glad she bought the creepers shoes that I craved, the tallest ones.

do you know the colors when gasoline flew in a pool and it creates an oily rainbow color kinda like? that's one of my favorite colors. As always, I was hanging around on the internet and found some cute pictures yet so threatening, combined them into one perfect matches [for me].

This is might be absurd, but let me tell you, I kinda have some alter ego or something you might call it. There's something in me that worships cuteness, innocence, little-boy kinda stuffs but at the same time I really love creeps, something deadly threatening, guns and you know those kinda stuffs. not that I support criminals, but I just love to know to learn the stories behind why people do massacre, specially when it comes to school massacre stories. but again, innocence little kids who admire to play with their own minds, experimenting worlds, their own worlds, it's really really get me too. I'm not confused about myself, so I named my ideas about this as Pop Massacre [sounds retarded isn't it?].

my cousin told me about this film [Hick], she said it's worth to watch, and I do really agree. This one is a perfect example of my ideas about Pop Massacre thingy, it'll be in cinemas on May 11 if I'm not mistaken, directed by Derick Martiny, casted by [the lovely] Chloe Grace Moretz, Blake Lively, Eddie Redmayne, Alec Baldwin, Juliette Lewis, and Rory Culkin.

Radio Flyer is such a great example of what I called innocence, experimenting childhood life. for you who doesn't really know what Radio Flyer is, it's kind of a toy, not really a toy, it's something like a cart to carry toys or maybe to ride, something like that. this film is about brothers who like to have an adventure and explore things. But at home, their drunk-father always abuse one of the boys, so they make a plan to build a plane using their Radio Flyer, to runaway from home.

I'm wearing my old cap, second hand see-through-dotted shirt, (X)s.m.l pants, Topman socks, Converse, Topshop necklaces, spiky & Rose earring.
I'm sorry if I couldn't get rid of see-through clothes, but I can't say no to them, I just can't. So actually, the pink rose earring that I wear is kinda fragile, because it made of papers, and if I may tell you  a confession,  I stole it from my sister [HA!].
the pants that I'm wearing is really really comfortable, because it's made of t-shirt or I don't know, something stretch [Geez how could I be a designer if I'm not good at remembering].


anyhoo, once again, I made a new playlist on 8tracks [if you're interested, check it on HERE]. it consists of 12 tracks that for sure I love, like : The Bird and The Bee, Fun., That National, Alphabet Backwards. you should check it out if you wanna be happy.

no, I'm just kidding.

but, not, I am not

hope you get the joy.

I miss my old stuffs, but fortunately I found them in my closet this afternoon, and it felt like I'm all myself again even if I look retarded in those pictures. I'm wearing Topman Cap in the first picture, sticked it with some butterfly stickers, and the earring that I'm wearing, it's actually not an earring, it was a keychain, but it's such a coincidence that I love smiley emoticon a lot [no it's not a coincidence], so I pulled it off and turned it into my new lovely earring. 

maybe you asking why I'm wearing that Adolf Hitler pin alot [or maybe not], yes indeed because I love  it, but beside that I found this pin is like my lucky charm, same as like when I'm wearing my Topman Beret [as you can see in the 4th picture], they seem like my safety blanket. 

In the 4th picture, hope you still remember the shirt/top/wtvr that I'm wearing, I made it myself, YES, designed,sewed,etc, all by myself. Actually, I already posted that last year, but I hope you understand that I want to celebrate my thankfulness of finding it.

the last picture, that's the book I was talking about in my post "Comics", and I promised you to explain what it is. it's my inspiration book, I write all the things all the thoughts all the plans in case that I'll forget or maybe lost and know nothing about what should I do next, it's like my future path or something in it.

so these two weeks till now, I've been watching a lot of old-new films, and mostly after I watched them, they blew me like I'm a part of it. sometimes or most of the time, I really really love some films and I want to express it so bad but I don't know how, because words are not enough. cliché huh? yeah, I know, but somehow, I think that what shaped me into who I am now, it's not just the experiences of life but also what you watched, what you listened, what you read.

I wanna ask, have you ever felt after you watched a film you love the most then in some way you want to live a life like what you saw in it. it's obvious actually.

so glad that my friend reminded me to watch The Royal Tenenbaums. And YES, I recommend you to love it. I love every single detail of it, like how the camera shot the angle, how the lifestyle they live in. It's actually about a Tenenbaums family,  a father who never came up in years, but suddenly he wants to get the family back.

The way Gwyneth Paltrow played Margot Tenenbaum is just EPIC!! seriously you need to watch it.

same as The Science of Sleep, it's totally my genre, a dreamy guy who can't distinguish reality with dreams, a guy who lives in his own little world inside his head, inventing things that people these days might judge people like him as freaks. oh, how I adore this kind of thing.

Watch it.


Anyhoo, I made another tracks for you. I hope you get the joy, so please :-)

the kitten which's hanging out on my lap is Oli, he's annoyingly friendly.

I really love this Fall Winter collection of Jeremy scott, it reminds me the color of gasoline floats in a puddle. Pop Culture and the jokes 90's american rave culture, and also the internet around 90's [as you can see from The Pixelated Icons that Jeremy used] inspired Jeremy Scott to create this eccentric collection. 

I found Furby hanging there!

the second picture is a painting exhibition on the ground floor [I don't know exactly, don't trust me], Grand Indonesia. I'm so sorry I forgot to check all the artists of the paintings, maybe you could check them later  by yourself [you must]. my favorite is the skull painting.

as usual, my nights were kinda sleepless nights, it's kinda my latest behavior when I couldn't sleep, I make some playlist to accompany me having a supper. so maybe this new tracks that I made could please you in some way. enjoy.

 Dicaprio, Drums' Portamento Album cover, Elvis Presley, Romeo + Juliet, Lana Del Rey, Unknown, Unknown, Ginger Snaps [2000]

this is the top that I wore at IKYK's event yesterday, Zara gray sweater, Versace-pattern-kinda-like print shirt that I bought from Diana Rikasari at Bloggers Garage Sale last year, Adolf Hitler pin, and Grandma's necklace. I really love pins with legendary people faces on it.

those pictures above inspired my look yesterday, if you look them into one package, they actually have vaguely same tones, kinda threatening, dusty, but dramatic. the Rome + Juliet dead picture reminds me of the place where they suicided themselves, in a decorated chapel with neon crosses, roses, and melting candles. I found it's really beautiful, specially when Juliet hold the gun and pointed it to her head. 

Two sisters [Brigitte & Ginger] holding hands picture is one of my favorite scenes from Ginger Snaps film, they hold hands and promise that they'll never change no matter what, but unfortunately the promise has to be broken because the fate speaks differently, Ginger is attacked by something in the wood which is actually a werewolf. This film's portraying the process of being a werewolf as a metaphor for puberty, not like werewolf's-love-stroy kinda thingy, The tones, the feelings that you'll get are really depressing, threatening, and mind-blowing. I recommend you to watch it.