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Little Tiny Fish

Little Tiny Fish is a graphic artist based in the city of Milwaukee. He is currently working with OnMilwaukee.com.

Posts

  • March 19, 12:48 AM
    “… there are quite a few people in town that wouldn’t go to a beatles reunion if it was [at Shank Hall].”
    [redacted] (via danielholter)
  • March 19, 12:25 AM

    Every time you fart you're playing ShartRoulette

  • March 18, 04:17 PM

    littletinyroboticfish with solid-polymer fuel cell

    lefan:

    This robot fish is just 10 centimeters in length. It uses an extremely low power means of locomotion and is powered by a solid-polymer fuel cell called a “power tube”. It was developed by the Faculty of Engineering at Osaka City University.

    If you have a neodynium magnet inside a coil with about 3,000 turns, and pass a current through the coil, the magnet moves sideways. When we used this effect to drive the robot’s tail, power consumption was just 10 milliwatts.

    Your namecheck just earned you a reblog, pardner.

  • March 18, 04:16 PM

    Blaise Aguera y Arcas discusses the future of Bing’s internet mapping technology (including user photographs, time travel, realtime video, interior maps via backpack cams, and astronomy).

    Bing has surpassed Google in the maps area. By far. Awesome and creepy. (via talktostrangers)

    I find it difficult to wrap my mind around a lot of this.

  • March 18, 11:16 AM

    altidude:

    davidkaneda:

    37signals teams up with Steve Delahoyde from Coudal to make this excellent “attack ad,” demonstrating why Rework is a better, and fairer, book than Karl Rove’s autobiography. Fantastic.

    I love those guys.

    Guys. Mike Rohde is a Milwaukeean. Fer serious.

  • March 18, 11:06 AM

    Extreme Terrestrial (via bisign:chirosangaku:h-edge:9gag)

    Oh my god, I cannot describe how full of win this is. Very.

  • March 17, 03:55 PM

    Women in Refridgerators

    yaldabaoth:

    annierachel:

    bthny:

    catbus:

    Women in Refrigerators Syndrome describes the use of the death or injury of a female comic book character as a plot device in a story starring a male comic book character. It is also used to note the depowerment or elimination of a female comic book character within a comic book universe. The term was coined in various forms via on-line discussions and articles. In one on-line article, comic book fan Lauren Dayap made mention of ‘the girlfriend in the refrigerator syndrome’ without explaining what the term meant.[12] This is the closest reference linking the term ‘Women in Refrigerators’ to ‘Syndrome’ that exists on-line prior to June 2005. The terms Women in Refrigerators Syndrome and Girlfriend in Refrigerator Syndrome do not appear in the original writings on the topic at the ‘WiR’ website. The term ‘Women in Refrigerators Syndrome’ is used here strictly for clarity.

    see also: LOST (assholes)

    I’m too lazy to look for it, but there was a great blog on this a while ago from a female comic creator, right down to the rampant sexism entrenched in the comic industry itself.

    Here is one link from the Comic Books Tumblr that contains three links on the issue. Enjoy! Or maybe not.

  • March 17, 03:48 PM

    Blockbuster Shares Tumble After Bankruptcy Warning

    ragdoll:

    “The increasingly competitive industry conditions under which we operate has negatively impacted our results of operations and cash flows and may continue to in the future. These factors raise substantial doubt about our ability to continue as a going concern.”

    Should read: “Our complete inability to keep up with competition, due to the sedentary lifestyle adopted during our monopoly…”

    Another dinosaur dies. It will not be missed. Seriously, do you know how much it costs to rent a DVD there today?

    Thank fucking god. It’s not an over exaggeration to say that I never, not once, had a good experience in any Blockbuster anywhere ever. YOU HEAR THAT, BLOCKBUSTER?!? YOU HAVE NOBODY TO BLAME BUT YOUR OWN GOD DAMN SELVES AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.

  • March 17, 10:27 AM

    A'int Patrick's Day: Erin Go Fuck Yourself

  • March 17, 10:14 AM

    Out of reading material

    notemily:

    abbyjean:

    choire:

    I need new scifi book recommendations please. (Ebook availability way preferable.) What’s new, what’s happening, what’s not post-cyberpunk or too futureshock, what’s actually good??

    Hunger Games! do not be put off by it being YA. it is adult-appropriate.

    I second Hunger Games! I also like the Uglies/Pretties/Specials trilogy by Scott Westerfeld, but it reads a little younger than Hunger Games. Still… it has hoverboards!

    I’ve been really itching to read/audioread Daemon, by Daniel Suarez. The creator of an automated system dies which triggers the system to start…killing. It’s an interesting look at how seemingly benign computer programs affect our lives, but extrapolated to the extreme. To get you further interested, Suarez gave a talk about bot-mediated reality, a companion study to the book, at the Long Now Foundation. If you’ve got an hour he’s got some very interesting insights.

  • March 17, 12:37 AM

    Also, Neil...

    …you should consider yourself lucky. The last time you bought a bike you managed to run into a chain link fence, scuff up the paint, rip a hole in your shirt, and scrape up your shoulder on your first day out.

    Of course The Bike Snob NYC says when you get a new bike the very first thing you should do is throw it down a set of stairs and readjust the saddle and stem so it stops being precious allowing you to just go out and ride.

  • March 17, 12:33 AM

    A perfect night for a ride (almost)

    theneilshow:

    I took my gorgeous new Cream City Fixed Gear out for a spin this evening.  God, what a wonderful bike it is.  Back in high school my dad and I got ahold of a 1964 Thunderbird in a beautiful silverish blue.  I still remember looking out my window on those summer nights and seeing it parked under the street lamp outside my house, and how its color made it appear like a ghost in the night.  This bike, in silverish green, has the same look, almost glowing.  I cruised around by myself for awhile, getting a handle on the intricacies of fixed gear.  The toughest part is getting my feet into the toe-clips.  A little later on I met up with LittleTinyFish and then we really broke it in.  We cruised Lake Drive, taking in the smells of coming spring and enjoying the clear night.  We dragged raced (he won).  All in all an awesome night until the very end.  The bike has beautiful white fenders, but i noticed all night they were slightly rubbing the wheels.  We adjusted them until it seemed to go away, but right after we parted I was heading home when i hit a bump and somehow the front fender caught on the wheel and crumpled in around it!  The wheel, while undamaged, was completely locked up and I had to walk it home.  So tomorrow Im gonna go back there, and have them put on a replacement fender.  And I ain’t paying for it.  

    You forgot the part when we found a random stranger on a folding bike at the lakefront who was looking for UWM. It turned out he was an IBM employee working to get the VFW computer systems up to date from the 70s and 80s. We weren’t doing anything so we escorted him to the campus.

    Then when we were down at Alterra another guy pulled up and asked us for directions to the U.S. Cellular center. TheNeilShow and LittleTinyFish: Bicycle Ambassadors of Milwaukee.

    Also, to add another fender horror story, a friend of an acquaintance had a fender strut break off and jam into their wheel, causing her to flip over the handlebars and requiring a hospital visit. She unfortunately had to sue the bike shop for improper installation.

  • March 17, 12:01 AM

    Sans Seat Tube (via www.selectism.com)

    Earlier I posted about dimpling the seat tube to get a slightly narrower wheelbase, but I suppose getting rid of the seat tube altogether might be an even better move.

    On a totally different note, what the hell is this bike built for? It’s got a trackish setup with aerobars, aerospokes, and an aggressive wheelbase but it’s also got gears and brakes.

  • March 16, 03:46 PM

    yaldabaoth:

    Tumblr users: theneilshow, littletinyfish and ragdoll

    Yes, the Neil Show does have a penis tie, and the “T” is a cock ‘n’ balls. It fits in with the dick joke thing. Easter Eggs in dick form. I contemplated adding in Bisquick, but I draw dogs really poorly. I decided to add in the McD twins for no good reason. Look at that tiny little fish!

    My new Facebook profile image.

  • March 16, 11:10 AM

    Jesus. There is no way I can keep up with Tumblr today.

  • March 16, 10:58 AM

    smutandeggs:

    shipwreckd:

    Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case, by an ‘orrible cunt, me.

    This may be the ugliest man alive.

  • March 15, 10:09 PM
    “Dan says mine would be “A Tantrum of Bradishs.” WELL. So rude. Why can’t it be “A Princess of Bradishs?”

    Ellie

    TheNeilShow and I came up with collective nouns for our friends (flock of geese, murder of crows, pride of lions, etc). They’re based on our friend’s least desirable qualities, but we hadn’t come up with any for Ellie…until now.

  • March 15, 06:10 PM

    It's funny because my dog is named after a font.

  • March 15, 05:48 PM
  • March 15, 05:47 PM

    Sure, Why Not of the Day: Typefaces as dog breeds by Grafisches Buro (via notemily:thedailywhat:finelinedesign)

    Nice, but they forgot one.

  • March 15, 04:12 PM
  • March 15, 12:52 PM

    A severe drought in Venezuela has exposed a church—pictured in 2008 (above) and on February 21, 2010—that had been inundated when a hydroelectric dam was built in 1985. (via altidude:greenteaparadise:newforest:ifitsthebeaches:geometric-afghan)

    What? Amazing!

  • March 15, 12:32 PM

    Hetchins Dimpled Seat Tube (via hetchins.org foto archive, part 2)

    Need to get your wheelbase even shorter? Dimple the tube. Also notice the skip-tooth chainring and irregularly spaced chain. Less teeth means less weight.

  • March 15, 11:35 AM

    Hetchins Dropouts (via hetchins.org foto archive)

    Wicked looking dropouts. Hetchins bikes have those funky curved seat stays and chain stays because at the time decals weren’t allowed on bikes during track races and this was an easy way to set the brand apart.

  • March 15, 11:32 AM

    Grass Track Racing at Brodsworth - Late 1930’s (via hetchins.org foto archive)

  • March 15, 11:27 AM

    Bilenky Tribute Hetchens (via CYCLING WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION)

  • March 15, 01:09 AM

    Last night I went to Axel's on Oakland

    The why is not important (it’s mathematically proven that there is no good answer to that question anyway). So I came up with a few slogans I thought they might entertain. Axels:

    1. Prolonging that High School Feeling…and smell.
    2. There’s food on our floor, even though we don’t have any.
    3. 98% men trying to look cool for the women.
    4. With patrons this unattractive you got a better chance of looking good to someone.
    5. Our bar smells like a bathroom, but at least our bathrooms don’t.
    6. It’s like a house party, but you don’t have to clean up after (and neither do we).
    7. Where friends make fun of friends.
    8. Must be under 21 to enter this bar.
  • March 14, 03:58 AM

    @littletinyfish in the St Patricks Day Parade in Milwaukee (via danielholter:@ShermanJeff)

    See how happy I am? That’s because this picture was snapped BEFORE I began hauling this 100+ lbs Rickshaw up Brady Street Hill against the blustry wind with what was effectively a giant sail behind me. But riding in the parade sure was fun!

  • March 13, 07:34 PM

    Cog and Chain Belt (via bisign)

    All you haters…tilt your head 3 degrees lower and suck on what you see.

  • March 12, 11:06 PM

    theneilshow:

    Here’s another pic from that enchanting Web414 evening.  LittleTinyFish, Ashe Dryden, and Jennaddenda representing.

    Photo by John December

    ‘Tis a classy looking group.

  • March 12, 01:00 PM

    The Associated Press:LA-based "Formspring.me" service to reveal identities of anonymous users

    Why is the AP posting to benkling.com instead of ap.org?

    Oh wait…

  • March 12, 10:25 AM

    CHEESE ZONE (via heavycritters:yamasu777)

    Ever wonder just how intense and frightening cheese could be? Well wonder no longer!

  • March 11, 05:05 PM

    Tumblr Talk at Web414

    Anybody available to discuss the impact of Tumblr on your life or your thoughts about the platform or community? 7pm at Bucketworks tonight. We’ve got a couple people dedicated, but more are always welcome.

  • March 11, 03:46 PM

    I’m about to become more popular…

  • March 11, 02:08 PM

    Another new track from Murder by Death's new album

    I am getting so excited for this album. It sounds so much different than their last set of albums, but in a very, very good way. It still has that sort of dark American west sound to it, but it’s much more raw.

  • March 11, 01:20 PM

    national attention for jersey shore poster

    danielholter:

    lefan:

    daniel holter just sent me this link (thank you sir) and it looks like my fucking poster picture has gone more viral than i realized.  npr?  huffpo?

    anyway, i know i didn’t come up with the slogan, but i took the picture.  you can even (kinda) see my reflection in the window.  i suppose just a little credit would be nice.  maybe a kickback from republic for the new business that come their way…

    Doing what I can, good sir.

    Especially with larger “legit” sites, such as AdWeek, you’d think they’d get the Credit Your Source thing down cold.  Must be frustrating.

    I don’t think either of us is claiming your photo is some incredible artistic statement, or that you were even the poster designer… but if people want to use your photo they should—at the very least—give you credit for being the photographer.  That fact that it wasn’t shot on assignment with a Hasselblad or Leica doesn’t make your beef less valid.

    Then again, maybe you are claiming your photo is an incredible artistic statement.  :)

    I totally agree with this. The music and movie industry get a shitload of press by suing the pants off of people who post content that isn’t theirs. People have debates about how to “support the artist” or whether or not you’re “stealing” music, but nobody thinks twice about reblogging a design or image as copyright theft. Tumblr makes you think twice about posting a song asking if you have permission to distribute it, but then lets you post images without asking the same question. Is it any less valid?

    Now, I don’t wanna be suing the pants off of people who reblog images, but an image credit is the very least you can do. I saw recently that there was a Tumblr that was dedicated to re-attaching attributes that had been removed from images, but I can’t remember which one it was. But bravo for bringing some attention to the issue.

  • March 11, 10:49 AM

    Dog Stache (via gresh:swissmiss)

    Brilliant.

  • March 11, 10:46 AM
    “The issue, you see, is not that America manages food resources incredibly irresponsibly, that grocery stores routinely throw out tonnes of food, or that everyone - everyone! - in America is encouraged to eat more than they need and encouraged to waste food. It’s not that our industrial use of energy and fossil fuel is wasteful, mismanaged, and out of proportion to any other country’s use of those same resources. It’s not that the fucking health care system is so broken that no one even knows how to fucking fix it, and that practically no one in America is getting adequate health coverage. It’s not that the seats on airlines have gotten smaller and smaller over the last thirty years, or that the airlines care less and less about customers’ comfort and more and more about profit margins. No, it’s that I’m taking up too much fucking space.”

    thingswithwings | this is so much bullshit, I cannot even tell you how much bullshit it is (via notemily)

    At what point do we start taking responsibility for our own actions? Normally I see posts about how it’s okay to be fat and how the media is responsible for the proliferation of fatsism and that not all body types are created equal and that we should celebrate our size (which I’m totally down with), but this is the first time I’ve seen somebody blame EVERYBODY ELSE for their own problem. Bullshit indeed.

  • March 11, 10:28 AM

    Hack/Slash #9 variant cover art by Emily Stone (via comicbooks)

    Not a lot of subtlety here but, well, whatever.

  • March 10, 06:26 PM

    If we all do one random act of kindness daily we just might set the world in the right direction. —Martin Kornfeld (via notyetbroken:Wired.com)

    It’s no longer random if you ascribe a purpose.

  • March 10, 04:08 PM

    Hank Chien, a New York Doctor, Sets New Donkey Kong World Record

    New York City’s own Hank Chien, a 35-year-old plastic surgeon based in Queens has just been crowned the Lord of the Barrels — having just set a new world record in the classic arcade game Donkey Kong. Chien’s score, 1,061,700 points racked up in just 2 hours and 35 minutes was verified by Twin Galaxies, the official keepers of DK records since 1981.

  • March 10, 11:57 AM

    Google Maps by Bike just killed me

    sveden:

    I used the new Google Maps get there by bike feature. And I think it killed me.

    Highway 55 North? Really?

    Reminds me of the time when Google Transit was first released and they told me to ford the Milwaukee River.

  • March 10, 10:28 AM
  • March 10, 10:13 AM

    Dreams by Eugenio Recuenco with Jennifer Pugh (via bisign:belledemoisellexxx)

  • March 09, 11:24 PM

    Peacock Groove as seen at the North American Hand-Built Bicycle Show

  • March 09, 06:16 PM

    Saturn Devouring His Son - Peter Paul Rubens edition by enso (See also: Goya version)

    Since the first was so popular…

  • March 09, 03:40 PM
    “That’s the surprising thing [about Richard Wagner]. From a guy who thought he was God we get a story about how the gods must die. And maybe this is what it means to say something is Wagnerian; not just that you try to say everything, but you try even though you know you ultimately can’t.”
  • March 09, 12:43 PM

    ragdoll:

    Looks like I can add modeling to my résumé. (via arbordaynow.org)

    My brother. Almost as sexy as me.

  • March 08, 10:22 PM
  • March 08, 04:55 PM

    Tour of America's Dairyland: June 17-27, 2010

    mkebikespotting:

    • Thursday, June 17 Shorewood Criterium Cycling Classic (Pro Men and Pro Women races only)
    • Friday, June 18 Thiensville Criterium Saturday,
    • June 19 Giro d’ Grafton (Criterium - part of USA CRIT Series) Sunday, June 20 Appleton Criterium
    • June 21 Road Race at Elkhart Lake’s Road America
    • June 22 Sheboygan Harbor Centre Family Day & Bike Race (Criterium)
    • June 23 Trek Waterloo Classic (Criterium)
    • June 24 Greenbush Road Race
    • June 25 Fond du Lac Criterium
    • June 26 Downer Classic (Criterium on Milwaukee’s Eastside)
    • June 27 Waukesha Carl Zach Cycling Classic (Criterium)

    Gettin’ excited…

Recent tracks

Top tracks

Posts

  • February 04, 10:30 PM

    Bike Friendly Business Checklist [4]

    I started attending meetings for a new Milwaukee group that, at this moment is called “Milwaukee Businesses by Bike” or MBByB or “Embibe” (which is a little iffy since it’s mixing alcohol and transportation...even though it’s not about alcohol at all). At any rate we need a name, a logo, a mission statement and a checklist of what makes a bike friendly business.

    The League of American Bicyclist’s have put together a basic list of how businesses can become more bike friendly, but personally I feel it’s not ambitious enough. So I started brainstorming more options and expanding on ideas they already presented. It should almost be a non–stop, always developing list.

    Some stuff should be relatively easy just to make the barrier of entry a little lower. The idea is that businesses could figure out how friendly they already are and gives them something to aspire to be. For instance they could check off that 1% of their office commutes to work and aspire to reach 2%. The higher the percentage the higher the poins. If you have a bike rack, you get a point. If you have a covered bike rack, you get 2. If you have secure bike parking you get 3 points.

    The higher the points, the higher your business would rank. Brown, Bronze, Gold, Silver, and Platinum. As businesses reached Platinum you could add more ideas and rank double Platinum, Triple Platinum, Unnllquadium, Unnlhexium, Unnlennium etc.

    Some of the requirements might seem unobtainable, but it’s good to shoot for the moon. If you can’t improve further in that direction you can gain more points in other categories.

    So here’s the list so far. If you think of any other great additions (or subtractions...it’s a very loose list at this point), please leave a comment and I’ll add it in there and present it to the group the next time we meet.

    • Talk with your aldermen or district representative and let them know you want bicycle facilities (off–street bike paths, lanes, trees, other traffic calming measures, boulevards, etc) in your area. (+1 pt)
    • Talk with your aldermen or district representative yearly. (+1 pt)
    • Talk with your aldermen or district representative twice a year. (+1 pt)
    • Talk with other local businesses about becoming bike friendly. (+1 pt)
    • Follow up with those businesses. (+2 pt)
    • Showers and private changing rooms are ideal. (+5 pt)
    • Arrange for shower use at a local health club for your employees. (+2 pt)
    • Hanging space or a standing wardrobe will provide ample storage for work clothes. (+3 pt)
    • Provide an iron and ironing board. (+1 pt)
    • As an alternative to installing expensive showers, allow bike commuters to dress casually in the office. (+1 pt)
    • Provide sanitary wipes for sweat removal. (+1 pt)
    • Get 1% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 2% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 3% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 4% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 5% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 6% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 7% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 8% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 9% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • Get 10% of your office to commute by bike. (+1 pt)
    • This might have to be adjusted for business size. Businesses with 10 employees could gain an unfair advantage.
    • Offer subsidies for bike commuters who don’t use car parking spaces. (+3 pt)
    • Provide lunch for bike commuters. (+1 pt)
    • Offer extra vacation time for daily bike commuters. (+5 pt)
    • Appoint a bike commuting coordinator to procure local bike route maps. (+1 pt)
    • Help employees plan routes to work using low–traffic but direct roads and paths. (+1 pt)
    • Start a Bike Pool program. Having a cycling partner increases the joy of riding dramatically. (+2 pt)
    • Have loaner bikes in the office for people to use over their lunch hours. This gives people a chance to get their toes wet to let them know that commuting is not only possible, but easy and fun. (+1 pt)
    • Have high quality loaner bikes. This shows people that investing in a good quality bike with the right weight and fit is a good idea. (+3 pt)
    • Get the loaner bikes from a local bike shop, not a department store. This increases awareness and supports local business. (+2 pt)
    • Have a professional bike fitting once a year. (+1 pt)
    • Have a professional bike fitting twice a year. (+1 pt)
    • Have a professional bike fitting as needed. (+1 pt)
    • Partner with a local bike shop to offer employee discounts or maintenance clinics. (+2 pt)
    • Bike racks outside the office. (+1 pt)
    • Bike racks in a visible area. (+1 pt)
    • Adequate bike racks available to the public. (Enough to serve the office AND the public). (+1 pt)
    • Covered bike racks. (+2 pt)
    • Secure bike storage within the office building. (+3 pt)
    • Secure bike storage on the ground floor. (+1 pt)
    • If on an arterial, bike lanes outside the business. (+3 pt)
    • If on a narrow arterial, sharrows outside the business. (+3 pt)
    • Provide bus passes on rainy days. (+1 pt)
    • Provide washers and dryers for rainy/muddy days. (+5 pt)
    • Provide dryer sheets. (+1 pt)
    • Provide closets and hangers. (+1 pt)
    • Offer extra vacation time for bike commuters. (+1 pt)
    • Offer even more vacation time to those who commute below 40 degrees. (+1 pt)
    • Offer even more vacation time to those who commute below 30 degrees. (+2 pt)
    • Offer even more vacation time to those who commute below 20 degrees. (+2 pt)
    • Offer even more vacation time to those with no excuses. (+3 pt)
    • Participate in the Bicycle Commuter Act. (+3 pt)
    • Send regular safety and ettiquette notes through the office. (+1 pt)
    • Encourage cyclist education among employees; educated riders are safe riders. (+1 pt)
    • Post an outline of local traffic laws and how they apply to bicycles. (+1 pt)
    • Submit your name to the Bicycle Federation of Wisconsin and post a “We are a bicycle friendly [Color] Standard Business” on your website. (+2 pt)
    • Promote bike teams for charity rides. (Trek 100, UPAF Miller Lite Ride for the Arts, Riverwest 24, etc.). (+2 pt)
    • Form a company bicycle club or race team; increase your own exposure locally. (+5 pt)
    • Organize a lunchtime race. (+2 pt)
    • Ask the local bike shop to showcase new bike models during lunch. (+2 pt)
    • Get local news media to cover your events. (+1 pt)
    • Encourage employees to help co–workers make the switch to bike commuting. (+1 pt)

    There are over 100 points to earn so far, so for starters I'm thinking:

    • Brown: 20pts
    • Bronze: 50pts
    • Silver: 70pts
    • Gold: 90pts
    • Platinum: 110pts

    If you have any other ideas of what should be included in the list, leave a note in the comments. I’d love to see this list grow larger and larger with more creative ways of promoting cycling.

  • December 04, 06:35 PM

    This Year in Music 2009

    It's been a rough couple of years for music and while some powerhouses released albums this year 2009 was still kinda in the weeds. I usually do a Top 10 Favorite Albums that Defined my 2009 with an emphasis on my because I am often late to the game. Several years ago my number one album was The Postal Service's "Give Up", which was several years too late.

    But even as I put this list together I can't help but think that 2009 was more defined by Podcasts than albums. Leo Laporte and the TWiTs, RadioLab, Savage Love, The Spokesmen Cycling Podcast, You Look Nice Today, The Bike Show, and to a lesser extent, The Moth, were always more enticing than the latest release. I mean, Phoenix is everybody’s favorite band this year? How plain. They were so good, in fact, that it’s left me wondering how much I should be paying them for their entertainment and information. Their value is truly more than I can afford.

    It’s been a rough couple of years for music and while some powerhouses released albums this year 2009 was still kinda in the weeds. I usually do a Top 10 Favorite Albums that Defined my 2009 with an emphasis on my because I am often late to the game. Several years ago my number one album was The Postal Service’s "Give Up", which was several years too late.

    But even as I put this list together I can’t help but think that 2009 was more defined by Podcasts than albums. Leo Laporte and the TWiTs, RadioLab, Savage Love, The Spokesmen Cycling Podcast, You Look Nice Today, The Bike Show, and to a lesser extent, The Moth, were always more enticing than the latest release. I mean, Phoenix is everybody’s favorite band this year? How plain. They were so good, in fact, that it’s left me wondering how much I should be paying them for their entertainment and information. Their value is truly more than I can afford.

    At any rate, here is the list, with a surprising amount of albums actually released in 2009:

    • 10. Rx Bandits – Mandala
      The Rx Bandits abandoned the last of whatever brass instrumentation they had and come alive with a distinctly more rocky and maybe regrettably proggy sound. The tracks are strong through the whole album but nothing stands out except for the annoying "Bled to be Free (The Operation)" which is the second to the last song. Thankfully "Bring Our Children Home or Everything is Nothing" cleans the bad taste before the album closes.
    • 09. Kria Brekkan – Apotropaiosong Armor
      Creepy and experimental noise from Scandinavia. There appears to be a severe lack of musical structure but the sounds aren’t at all overcoming. They’re subtle, soft and lap along the shore like waves.
    • 08. Propagandhi – Supporting Caste
      Propagandhi recovers from their previous album rather nicely with this one. While they’re sticking with the thrash metal sound that they’ve evolved into they have managed to provide a much stronger musical base for their noisy protest.
    • 07. Rural Alberta Advantage – Hometowns
      I didn’t really understand the hype behind RAA, but after giving their album a few spins I’m beginning to appreciate their clean pop sensibilities. It’s true that it’s definitely the next in line of the Indie rock genre, but there is something that is still comforting about this album.
    • 06. Murder by Death – Finch
      Murder by Death have been looking to do an instrumental soundtrack for a while now. Last I heard (in 2005, maybe?) they were going to do a soundtrack to an imaginary Tim Burton movie. They did one better, though, by doing a soundtrack to an actual property; it’s not a movie, though. It’s a book called "Finch." They’ve always had an attraction to album concepts and their best stuff comes from their storytelling hearts. It’s a little short and a little quiet, but I am excited to see the band push into this new direction. Hopefully some of these sentiments will find their way on to the next album, but a lot of artists have taken to writing in isolated cabins, deep in the woods, the musical equivalent to sketching on a moleskine, and unfortunately, Murder by Death seems to be going that route.
    • 05. Andrew Bird – Noble Beast
      Andrew Bird continues his reign as violin/whistling/looping master. This album is infinitely more fun to sing and hum along to than the more atmospheric (maybe that should read: boring) "Armchair Apocrypha" was and that pleases me.
    • 04. Sparks – Propaganda
      This is the oldest release to find it’s way onto my list this year. I wasn’t entirely convinced of Sparks’ legitimacy because I haven’t been a huge fan of glam rock in the past, but the music is poppy and deceptively complex. Sometimes it goes a little overboard, though, that it gets a little tiresome, but it won’t be an album I’ll quickly stop spinning.
    • 03. Neko Case – Middle Cyclone
      Not only is Neko Case a beautiful singer, but this album was well constructed from beginning to end. It doesn’t have a lot of fiery tracks but it’s still bound to be a classic. This one was recorded in a barn on a lineup of twelve pianos, which is somehow less of a gimmick than the artist in a cabin thing, but I think that’s because it produces tangible results (you can hear birds chirping on some of the tracks, for instance) not just pretension. But speaking of pretension, maybe we could have done without the half hour track of nature sounds at the end.
    • 02. Beiruit – March of the Zapotec / Realpeople – Holland
      This album is technically two EPs by two bands who happen to be the same person. Zach Condon is back with the full band and sounds from Latin America, but the mood is just as morose. Realpeople is Zach Condon’s alias who plays around with electronica more than wind instruments. I am surprised at how well the sounds from the old country act so complementary towards the modern electronic sound.
    • 01. Bomb the Music Industry! – Scrambles
      This is by far the best album of the year. Jeff Rosenstock understands punk better than most of its modern heroes. While writing a catchy, pop punk, anthemic album he still manages to connect to punk’s past and create an album that is bound to live past its expiration date. If I had to chose my way to die it’d be driving off the Hoan Bridge into Lake Michigan at high speeds while blasting 25! as loud as I can. Now Jeff is in yet another band (that makes three) called Kudrow, with members from The Gaslight Anthem and Propagandhi. They just released an EP so I’m sure as hell gonna have to check it out.
    • BONUS: OnMilwaukee.com released their OMCD3 this year, featuring, perhaps, the best lineup of Milwaukee bands since they started putting these compilations out. And I’m not just saying that because I designed the cover for it. They’ve got The Scarring Party, Pezzettino, The Candliers, Decibully, and The Celebrated Workingman. Milwaukee’s music scene never looked so good. Download the album for free.
  • October 11, 03:53 PM

    Have you ever been embarrassingly conned? [1]

    The Panhandler

    I never give to pan handlers but about a week ago I was approached by a black man who asked my girlfriend and I “Hey, are you afraid of black people?” I chuckled and said “Um…no.” Then he went into a story about how his pregnant wife was stuck in his car and it had just ran out of gas, two warning flags in my book. He told me he was a contractor and his hungry wife ate through all their money. He showed me his license to prove who he was. But strangely, he wasn't asking for money. He just needed the car pushed to the nearest gas station. So we generally agreed that we could probably offer some help.

    We asked where his car was parked and he said “It's down by the BP station,” which meant we would have to push the car more than a mile to the next gas station. I asked why he couldn't just push it into the BP but he said “That one don't have no diesel.” It sounded suspicious but I didn't know. Are there gas stations that DON'T have diesel? If so, what's the ratio.

    The more he kept talking the more he started confusing the issue. It was 8 o'clock at night and he said he had just got done with his contracting. He never said who he was working for. He told us that he only had $4. He said he went to the closest gas station to get a special gas can specifically for diesel (is there a special diesel gas can?) and that to buy it cost $80 or you could rent it for $12, but you wouldn't get your money back for several days because they had to mail it out to you.

    So I told him I could go and rent the gas can for him, get a gallon of gas and go fill up the tank. I was feeling generous and despite the increasingly bizarre story I thought to myself “Well, if I get this stuff for him he can't use the money for something else.” But then he said that he had already checked on the gas can; it was being lent to somebody else and it wouldn't be back for a half an hour. He didn't want us to have to wait at that scary gas station because of the scary black people there. So he finally asked us for the money, telling us that he would wait for the can, fill up, and then mail the money back to us, double even, as soon as he got home.

    Now at this point I realized that the wool had been pulled over my eyes and this guy was a tricksy liar but I had already invested time into the story, his dubious “friendship”, if you will, and admitted that I had money to help him.

    So I gave him a dollar because I felt like I had to. I knew he was lying but I felt like I had to live up to my end of the bargain to show that this lying scumball I am honest and good and that I don't hate black people. As if he cared at that point. After I gave him the dollar he pressed the issue asking for the rest! Instead my girlfriend and I gave him other ideas (“You have four dollars. That's enough for you and your wife to take the bus.”).

    Why didn't I just say, “Dude, you're lying. That's not fair to me. I'm not giving you anything.”

    The Entrepreneur

    I received a call at work a few days ago telling me about this AMAZING NEW PROGRAM called Zipadee…er…Zipidee…er…Zipadi a product that lets you convert your magazine to the web. Since we have two skilled programmers and an excellent designer (if I do say so myself) this is a product that we really don't need. But when pressed as to whether I needed the program or wanted to check it out I couldn't say no to the guy. He wanted me to download their trial version and then get back to me for feedback. I didn't want any part of it but I gave him my e–mail address anyway.

    Why couldn't I just say, “I don't think this product is for us.”

    The Charity

    I received a phone call from the Muscular Distrophy Association. They started the call by saying that I was chosen because I am an “excellent member of the community” and that I was to be pretend arrested, carted off in a pretend police car (a limo) and put in pretend jail for a “networking opportunity.” I could get out if I posted bail by getting friends and co–workers to donate to the MDA. Then they asked which I would prefer, morning or afternoon.

    I told them that I would prefer to think about it first and they countered with “Well, generally speaking, morning or afternoon?” I replied, “Morning, I guess.” “We'll put you down for 11:00, then.” Ugh. Then they asked if they could have my cell phone (several times) and asked (several times) if I wanted to arrest any of my friends. When I said no they said I could be put in “Witness Protection” and my name wouldn't be revealed.

    They flirted with me, they spun it as if it would be useful to me (networking opportunity), they talked about “the children,” they forced me into choosing a time, they badgered me to give them more personal information than I'd like, the asked for contact information to spam those closest to me, and they never once gave me the option of saying “No.”

    Wondering who nominated me I sent a message to a co–worker who was in the middle of the exact same call. I wasn't chosen because I was an excellent member of the community. I was chosen because it was a strategic move, because we were members of the media.

    But why couldn't I just say “Sorry, I don't like the way you're pressuring me into this. Please take me off your list as I have more preferred non–profits to which I donate.”

    The Vow

    Why can't I just say no to these hostile tactics. I've laughed at friends who were conned into buying bibles in foreign languages yet here I am getting tricked myself. I should have asked for options not presented to me. I should have hung up the phone. I mean, I've tried cold calling people before; it was extremely stressful and I was awful at it. Getting the hang up just made the job worse. I don't want to shoot the messenger, but at the same time it's frustrating, annoying and unfair.

    So now I'm gathering my resolve to call out this bullshit when I see it and actually say NO to these pressure tactics. If you're disrespecting me I won't hesitate to call your bluff. If your product is good enough you'll stand on your own without the need to harass me to try it. If your charity is worthy enough, people will want to give…not feel like they're forced to.

    So instead of getting arrested for a random charity I'm going to choose to support the charity of my choice. SOIL is a non profit working out of Haiti. Haiti is one of the poorest countries on our side of the world. SOIL turn human waste into usable fertilizer. They say “We believe that the path to sustainability is through transformation, of both disempowered people and discarded materials, turning apathy into empowerment and pollution into valuable resources.” If anybody else would like to donate, please leave a comment, send me a message, or send a donation yourself. I was trying to think of a good reason WHY you should donate (Donate as a way of showing you can say no, donate because the holidays are coming up, donate so we can show how awesome Milwaukee is) but I would much rather you donate because you can, because you want to, and because you believe in the cause. No gimmicks attached.

    Do you have a story about being embarrassingly conned?

  • August 26, 05:43 PM

    Mutant Chronicles: The Movie [1]

    I watched Mutant Chronicles, a movie based on the Swedish roleplaying game published in 1993. I didn’t come into contact with the game until about ‘95 or ‘96 when they released the collectible trading card game, Doomtrooper (which is a less cringe inducing name, if you ask me). That was back when Magic: The Gathering TOOK OFF and every fantasy outlet had to have their own version. My brothers and I had no idea what we were getting into so we all bought our own game (I got Rage, based off the RPG, Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Adam got Wyvern, a dragon–fighting game which, to my knowledge, wasn’t spawned from anything except good ol’ mythology, and Justin picked up Doomtrooper).

    As time passed the win was yielded to Doomtrooper and we three began assimilating into the game, but soon the game became so mechanically unbalanced from subsequent expansions that it wasn’t that fun to play.

    The Mutant Chronicles universe is, stylistically speaking, a cross between Steampunk and Cyberpunk. It offers some of the Victorian flair that Steampunk revels in, but is technologically more advanced. That is, instead of stunting at steam power, the Mutant Chronicles universe is stunted after World War I, a time before atomic technology took off (or was never created…I don’t entirely know).

    So trench warfare is still a common way of fighting, Zeppelins are a common way of traveling but the space travel is still possible. Five Mega Corporations control the earth and fight amongst themselves, while a Dark Legion of Necro Mutants from outter space threatens to take over. This forces the Mega Corporations to flee to inhabit Mercury, Venus, Mars, and the Asteroid Belt. In the meantime a sacred Brotherhood is working to quash the Dark Legion.

    Now as for the movie, it was produced and released over in Europe just over a year ago and was only recently released direct to DVD in the United States. The quality of the movie is a step or two above the Syfy television fare and includes actors Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, Anna Walton and even John Malkovitch(!?)). And while following the recipe for a successful action movie (i.e. the black guy gets it first and the American comes out on top) Mutant Chronicles would definitely not compete against the Hollywood machine. I’d start with tighter editing and move from there.

    That being said the movie does stay pretty true to the universe’s roots. They give us canonical characters, like Mitch Hunter, Max Steiner, Valerie Duval and Sgt. MacBride (though his race changes). The guns are beefy, almost unweildly semi–automatics. The underworld landscape is suitably carved, craggy, broken and malformed. There is gun play and sword fighting. And the story, overall, brings me back to the days when we would craft some creative roleplaying sessions.

    It’d have been nice to see the universe more fully fleshed out, á la Lord of the Rings, but I’m a sensible person and I recognize that a marginally popular fantasy universe in Sweden probably won’t make the box office bank to recall that kind of cash. I’m surprised there was enough interest to make the movie at all! Maybe I can hope for a Clone Wars–style cartoon, though?

    Now, would I recommend renting it? Hmm…maybe? There aren’t enough movies that focus on trench warfare and there is a suitably thrilling abandoned elevator shaft scene. There is also a lot of face stabbing (a preference of the Necro Mutants, it seems), quite a bit of cartoon blood and violence and the casual, unromantic final minute makes you smirk. It’s certainly no life changer, but if you’ve got a rainy Saturday afternoon, go for it. Otherwise this movie is best enjoyed through a good pair of geeky fan glasses.

  • July 30, 05:29 PM

    Flow [2]

    Make way for the king. The automobile rules the road and getting in their way is comparable to heresy. Or, at least, that's where the American road system has lead our beliefs.

    Street designers are always looking for ways to clear the way for a steady flow of auto traffic. This is particularly obvious at busy highway on–ramps and interchanges; the more steady the flow of traffic, the less likely a traffic jam will occur. Unfortunately this has tricked people into thinking that there is a social right to flow. In other words, if you cause a person to hit their brakes, you're in the wrong, no matter what. The next time you hit a deer on the highway, ask it if it believes in the right to flow.

    Automobile flow does make sense when dealing solely with automobiles. Cars are big and fast and wasteful. But city streets are filled with all kinds of non–automobiles: pedestrians, cyclists, dog–walkers, children, the elderly, skateboarders, the differently–abled, construction workers, ipods, and cell phones. The streets are also filled with specialty vehicles that don't always move in a straight line: emergency response vehicles, garbage trucks, semi trucks with trailers, construction vehicles, taxis, parallel parkers, school buses, delivery trucks, and more.

    Despite the incredibly common appearance of any number of these non–commuters and non–automobiles, drivers continue to drive beyond the speed limit and blindly struggle to keep pace in an effort avoid hitting the brakes as often as possible swerving impatiently around a cyclist to race to the next red light. To a driver it makes perfect sense to respect the laws of the uncaring light, which is hanging safely above the dangers of auto traffic. A driver will stop unquestioningly and waiting semi–patiently for the light to turn green. That respect drops dramatically, though, when it comes to merely slowing down and move cautiously around living, breathing human beings. Cyclists are “unpredictable” and that's aggravating.

    When motorists encounter the more vulnerable non–automobiles, their default thought is to view the encounter as a threat, even one as innocuous as a person crossing in the middle of a block. This person, they think, who is in my way is challenging my kingdom. 9News out of Colorado ran a report about threats being made against a local bike race. Trooper David Hall reassured that caution would be taken, but didn't seem to foresee a real problem. That is very much appreciated, but my problem was in a closing statement made by Hall:

    This is not a new issue. I understand the frustration that motorists feel sometimes when they encounter bicycles on the road and I also understand the frustration that bicyclists feel when a motorist is belligerent to someone on a bicycle. This issue is a two way street.

    A two way street, perhaps, but a lopsided one. The problem is that Hall is comparing a motorist “encountering” a cyclist to a cyclist being threatened by a motorist. Hall is essentially saying the two are the same and that bikes on the road are, by default, an assault on a motorist.

    Really those cyclists are an assault on the myth of flow. Cyclists aren't out to piss off motorists. They're out to ride their bikes.

    I encountered a belligerent driver on my way back to work a few weeks ago. Traffic was traveling at a very moderate pace due to the signals which were programmed to shuffle cars through a pedestrian heavy area at a safe speed. As I attempted to merge from the bike lane a man in a suburban didn't appreciate my butting in and accelerated, knocking me off my bike, in a threatening (thankfully), not injuring manor.

    His anger was particularly unjustified as he had nowhere else to go, but in the 10 feet between him and the next car that I was presently trying to occupy. When I was on my feet I immediately called the police. They reviewed both sides of our story (My claim was that he hit me, his claim was that I was interrupting traffic) and they reviewed the stories of two witnesses (One saw me swearing at the guy to stop hitting me, one saw him actually hit me). Their ultimate decision was that it was a “misunderstanding.” They didn't write warnings (they apparently don't do this in Milwaukee) and they didn't file a report, so it essentially it was like it never happened. I talked to Attorney Daniel E. Goldberg about what I could do, but since there was no report, my bike wasn't damaged and I wasn't damaged, there wasn't much I could do.

    Frustrating, yes.

    Then not even a week later, two Milwaukee police officers were hit on their bikes in two separate incidents. I wondered towards the Milwaukee Police, if those incidents were considered “misunderstandings” as well.

    If you're ever in a car to bike accident:

    • Do not overreact. Do not yell at the person. Do not assault their vehicle. The law will treat you as if you are a car, not a cyclist and not a pedestrian.
    • Get the license plate number.
    • Get the names and numbers of all witnesses immediately. Witnesses tend to leave the area when they're needed most: when the police arrive.
    • Get the name of the officer.
    • Demand that they file a report.

    But this city is slowly livening up to the idea that there are more people on the road than just themselves. This weekend my neighborhood is running a 24 hour bike race called The Riverwest 24. In only its second year it has managed to attract over 350 registered riders, with the expectation that it will continue to rise, well into the hours before the race begins.

    If you want to see what it looks like when a cities residents, both motorized and pedal powered, start to cooperate come out and cheer on the races.

    [EDIT: This blog is dedicated to Terry Smith of Waukesha and the people who agree.]

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