Posts
NATURE STUDIES
- S: rhinos are dumb
- ME: I'd love to hear the story behind that!
- D: This is true. I ordered a burger from the drive thru the other day and a rhino took my order. I definitely asked for a burger with no onions, but when I got to the next window, he threw an angry honey badger in my truck.
- S: Part of the reason is because something as little as the sound of their own feces dropping can spook them and cause them to start a fight.
- D: Sounds like your average high school football player.
- Me: This is the most hilarious comment thread I've been a part of in, like, 2 years
Audio
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jhonenv: It’s that Christmassy time of year where I drag out this most wondrous version of ‘O, Holy Night’ to test my ability to breathe while laughing too hard to breath. I still don’t know much about where this came from, why it exists and such, but I have to wonder if it’s not supernatural in origin, a thing forged by the elder gods as a weapon to cleanse the world of man by making them laugh themselves to death. If true, then I’m acting as a conduit for their terrible scheme, but I’m okay with that. Enjoy, and Merry Screeching Christmas! EDIT: Mystery solved!3910 plays
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darthconneryclaus: I, Bane, share with you the audio of my first time doing stand-up comedy. Hahahahahha417 plays
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i’m a fan of Bane, but the feeling’s not mutual. darthconneryclaus: Just filling you all in on what I’ve been up to lately. i wrote this with the guy who runs that tumblr.268 plays
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xvrblk: Danny Elfman - This Time (Unused Electric Song - Demo) (from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas)455 plays
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HACKED0 plays
Posts
June 13, 09:48 PM
It's overwhelming and sad that I have so much to learn. I had written a long, clever and entertaining post about this 2 months ago and it got deleted in the google app I'm using now. I should just ask the NSA for a copy.
Anyway, so here's some pics. No one reads this.
June 06, 01:16 PM
as a lotta people have been saying since the invention of the weblog, i need to blog more
June 01, 10:08 AM
May 25, 05:55 PM
May 25, 05:55 PM
May 13, 11:32 PM
May 01, 02:31 PM
April 25, 01:59 PM
April 01, 02:41 AM
March 23, 05:23 PM
To quote myself from 20 minutes ago: "A penguin is just a frosty chicken."
I love penguins and plan on doing a series of comics using characters and stories I've written and drawn since 2nd grade.
The dialogue exchange in this vid is something I've been meaning to bring to life for 5 years now, no joke! Here it is, I know I like it.
I love penguins and plan on doing a series of comics using characters and stories I've written and drawn since 2nd grade.
The dialogue exchange in this vid is something I've been meaning to bring to life for 5 years now, no joke! Here it is, I know I like it.
March 21, 11:04 PM
March 10, 01:01 PM
March 09, 05:50 AM
March 07, 11:24 PM
March 07, 07:19 AM
February 12, 03:23 PM
February 06, 03:42 AM
January 17, 12:51 PM
Dear Reader,
If you are indeed reading this, I want YOU to know about Kevin Piastra and why you should buy his newly released CD… “Mental Spewage 2.0” Now way MORE album for way LE$$ money!
Hey, Kev’s a very nice dude. Really sweet. Plus he’s getting away with this stand-up crap. He doesn’t work hard—rather, he works very hard at avoiding more work. He just barely gets bu. But he (almost) makes a living making people laugh. Now how fabuliscious is that?
The problem is he’s paranoid (among other things) that any second some official dork in a Brooks Brothers suit is gonna show up yelling “Hey, punk! Get a real job.” And, you see, he wants to avoid that for as long as he can (much like an inmate on death-row tries to put off his execution by eating his last meal as slow as possible).
This is where YOU can help. If you download his comedy album http://thecomedian.bandcamp.com plus recommend your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, and pets to buy copies as well as give them as gifts to their acquaintances and absolute strangers you/they pass in the supermarket then there’s an outside chance he’ll never have to hold down boring, dead-end working job again. Which is a good thing for us all as you really don’t want him preparing any meals you were planning on eating, nor coming around to fix your pilot light.
Support Piastra’s “art”… http://thecomedian.bandcamp.com It’s okay to give to your parents and great for anyone who’s got teenagers. Wonderful for students and anyone else who could use a nice, hearty laugh.
This fine, quality independently produced product of Piastranomical™ proportions is chock full of super, multimedia bonus content and only costs a few bucks, so you could even afford to gift it to people you don’t really like. Satisfaction guaranteed or your’s truly will offer the humblest of apologies (However all sales are as final as the late stages of a terminal illness).
And please check out our commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHio6kG_ACg
The Second-Most Important Recording of the Century
BY KEVIN PIASTRA
Kevin Piastra’s latest CD trails only Kevin Piastra’s previous in all of America’s albums
It's no secret that the music industry is dying. (Note to editor: Use the most poignant typeface you can for the previous sentence. Might I suggest Helvetica Blues or Sobbing Arial?) In these times of economic turmoil, file sharing, and a third thing I blame on online piracy, Americans are searching for a new pop culture phenomenon they can truly obsess over; something to lift their dampened spirits—something that costs under $10.00 at online merchants.
That something has finally arrived: Mental Spewage 2.0 ($5.00!).
Imagine if The Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Lady Gaga teamed up to write the Greatest American Album, except under the genre of comedy. Now imagine that didn't happen and instead Kevin Piastra wrote and performed one…because that's what happened.
I believe it was Ke$ha who once sang, “Wake up in the morning feeling like K. Piastra, put on his album, I’m sittin’ down - I’m gonna hear his CD.”
Mental Spewage is a work of stunning hilarity and sheer brilliance, and it contains some of the greatest hyperbole ever spoken in the history of mankind. Also, it has a cover. And track listings, many of them in chronological order!
But Mental Spewage is more than just the perfect gift for birthdays, tossing into Easter baskets, stuffing Christmas stockings, including with Valentine’s cards, playing for babies in the womb, or used as background noise while you are setting up the altar for your Wiccan ceremony some fortnight. It's a beacon of hope for artists in any creative endeavor, proving there is still originality and craftsmanship left on this planet.
There’s even content to be enjoyed on the level of average listeners (certainly not my target demographic) whether relating to material about confusing fortune cookies, despair and frustration regarding tomato sauce, or just having something you can pump through your ear-buds to avoid conversation with that registered sex-offender on the bus, Mental Spewage has it all.
Not unlike the first release, Mental Spewage 2.0 is sure to become a classic as treasured as Dark Side of the Moon or the 30-second iTunes previews to the songs on Dark Side of the Moon.
I give it 4 stars up out of 2 ½ thumbs.
http://thecomedian.bandcamp.com
January 15, 05:35 AM
January 10, 05:29 AM
January 09, 01:06 AM
