Joe Gurba
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Albums
- 9 tracks
BuyHelp: Philosopher. Schizophrenic. Dying. Knows. All the monetary contributions to this album are going to pay my exorbitant tuition. Thank you for your kindness.
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Albums
- 8 tracks
BuyThis is how this tape went down: I had two weeks without any shows so I was all like: I need to use this time to MAKE MONEY. So I wrote one song every day. This was right around when Mikey Maybe put out his tape cassette (which is so hopelessly vogue right now (and furthermore: AFFORDABLE)) so I called up Mitch and I was all like: "Yo, Mitch, Yo, Mitch, yo yo yo yo yo, let's make fun of Mikey in the most complicated and profitable way possible." And so it was. The two of us released a mixtape on the SAME DAY at the SAME PLACE. And Mikey Maybe opened. Now I've GOT MONEY, so this spinnie is for free. - 15 tracks
BuyThis album was written in 2006 and 7, recorded in 2007 and 8, paid off over 2008 and 9, and finally released on January 14th of 2011, my 24th birthday, 5 years too late. This is who I once was. I played these songs in hundreds of venues for thousands of people. I met my wife playing these jamz. But times have changed and so have I. So look up!! The future is bright, friends! But let’s now squint so much as to lose focus. This album is dedicated to my father, Calvin Gurba, who let me sleep in his living room for eleven months of 2007 while I played twenty shows a month for the sake of fame and some kind of respectability. Ground work, y’know. Thanks to God and everyone else too. Especially Malcolm Scott and Dan Sadowski for their financial backing. <3<3<3 - 1 tracks
Download01 You're Cool 02 NIGHT 03 Wayward 04 The Obligatory You're This and I'm That Jam 05 Canadiana 06 OK ft. Xlacks and Mitchmatic 07 It's a jungle out there 08 Whoa whoa whoa you gotta fix your life ft. Mikey Maybe 09 Cough cough 10 The Days 11 A Visit With Grandma Ellen 12 UT OH ft. Mitchmatic & Dakwon Lee 13 Little Brother 14 glub glub glub 15 The Bluff 16 God Himself 17 The Joe's Pipe Dream Water Park Where Ice Cream Is Free, Home of Orville Peter, The Blue Whale-
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The Joe Music Videos
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- Reading new poems on the 26th of October with none other than Rae Spoon!!
- a rap show is happening
- come see me read poetry tomorrow night with an unbelievable line up.
- They called me The Joel but it's still pretty swell.
- I WAS SUPPOSE TO OPEN FOR JAPANTHER TONIGHT BUT THEY COULDN'T GET OVER THE BORDER. COME SEE SOME OLD UGLY RHYMES INSTEAD! THE JOE, MIKEY MAYBE, AND A NEW GUN: BIG BEN!
- I'm playing tonight at Wunderbar. as Help. with King Vulture. it's gonna be pretty dark.
- Come see me play a bunch of new stuff alongside the gnarliest electronic artist in edmonton right now (and it's his last show here before he moves). https://www.facebook.com/events/338472112865477/
- To all my fans, This is my new project. I've been working on it since February of 2010. It is a heteronym named Help, a schizophrenic philosopher who is dying. This is the first single: Equality. ***all proceeds from this project go to my tuition The Joe is not over. This is just something completely different.
- This is going to be nuts, come see me RAAAAPPPPPP
- Fans of mine who are not yet fans of Mikey Maybe (how?), will truly appreciate this.
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Albums
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Posts
- May 17, 13
Here in the prairies, winter fades but is never gone. Snow clouds hang dark and low over these songs, plump and bruised. Even as the summer breaks hot and dry, Oliver Thiessen does not so much look away from the last winter as lament the coming of the next one. The discordant musings of “Winter Hymn” set the tone for a carefully layered record, the parts expertly planned and aligned. A dark reverberation seeps between the cracks in the song, an eerie floor for Thiessen’s voice to tread across. This is bedroom folk of the utmost quality, insinuating a loneliness compounded by the the isolation of the spacious Alberta snows.
Tagged: bear, Calgary, Folk, omar, omarandthebear - May 15, 13
There’s something happening in Welland, Ontario, some fountain of youthful talent, diverse and realized. This is frustrated rock and roll, captured straight to tape in a farm close to Niagara Falls: the raw guitar roaring under barely pronounced vocals. There is a resigned anger here, expansive observations of a small town and its dead-end satisfactions. But there is also a vastness to the sound, an outward reaching mobility to the lyrics that suggest an effort to expand. There is a fine line to the lament of “Chariot Drivers.” A close knowledge of the back roads of your home is only a bad thing when they act as prison bars. The intimacy that traps you is the same thing that makes a place familiar, defines it as your home. This is a record that shakes with agitation and grit, walks the line between staying and leaving.
Tagged: country homes, northern primitive, ontario, welland - May 10, 13
If you aren’t interested in the snow melting around you, the inescapable sun, trees sprouting green leaves, or long legs coming out after months hidden away – if that summer feeling hasn’t had any effect on you, then Her Harbour’s newest album, Winter’s Ghosts, is perfect for you. Her Harbour, the musical musings of Gaberielle Gaguere, combines talent and emotion in the most exquisite way possible, creating music that will haunt any listener with memories of past winters and their cold and lonely nights.
Winter’s Ghosts draws its uniqueness from the skill and diversity in Gaguere’s voice. ”Deloria” relies on Gaguere’s ability to produce a jazzy complexity. She contrasts this with the simplicity of “Petunia,” where Gaguere proves capable of melodious harmonies. While the masterful “Carolina” relies on few words, Gaguere still manages to seduce listeners through the sounds her voice can produce. In an album where the themes are frozen into the harshest winters, Gaguere is bird flying south, ready to let loose her summer song. Winter’s Ghosts seems like a enormous emotional risk for Gaguere, and you’ll be drawn in by Her Harbour’s ability to find beauty in the coldest of memories.
Tagged: her harbour, Ottawa, Winter's Ghosts - May 07, 13
There are some musicians who fear a world of beyond a simple six-string guitar, and on the other hand, there are some musicians who are seduced by the idea of full bands and the subsequent space filling sounds. But there are some some musicians who find the unique balance in between – relying on creative methods to create a simple space filling sound.
Ollie North is one of these musicians. His newest recording, Bringer EP, is a complex and captivating mosaic of sound. The title track, “Bringer”, drones over short riffs and clever vocals. The final track, “Nearerness” builds itself up through an emotion exploration of loops and words. North is a true master of layering simple sounds and creating an addictive harmony out of a cacophony of creativity — his short EP is sure to leave his sound echoing in your mind in away you can’t articulate outside of your own imagination.
Tagged: bringer, Extended Play, Montreal, Ollie North - May 03, 13
There is a quality to Joel McNichol’s hushed voice that draws you in, provides a measure of intimacy. The crackle of a fire would convince me that he recorded out of doors. I feel crowded around the flames, a final drink in my hand, listening.
Whiskey-warm guitar tones are a wool blanket, a further comfort for these calming songs. The country sensibility of McNichol’s vocals rests over well-realized chords. His playing is not complex, but the chords are fully developed, played with a great conviction. I’m reminded of the hypnotically bare folk of early J. Tillman, the captivating depth of his chords. Country is a genre rooted in tradition and execution: there is so much to hear in the honest simplicity of these songs. I hope these demos are the indicator of a continuing direction: they could be the backbone of a great, great record.
- Apr 27, 13
A lovely track by Hazelton, sprung from that bustling fountain of youth — Momma Jack Recordings, steadily releasing a significant body of work right in my own backyard.
A bubbling brook of voices buoys a call to that long river. Hazelton is a small place, a destination along the Skeena for prospectors: a stopping place for a migrating population. But there is an assured quality to the song that implies settlement; the song does not seek calm, it is imbued with it. There is a great confidence in the loose and full harmonies, the mess of vocals that accompanies our singer, sweeps you up in their current. I don’t think that you can be lonely when you are listening to this song.
Tagged: Edmonton, hazelton, mighty skeena river - Apr 26, 13
Until now, I’ve admired the work of Raven Shields from afar — she is a vocal force behind Dear Sister, the perfect supplement to Graham Nicholas. But it is a crime to relegate her, contextualize her based on her work with others. She is a forceful songwriter, a voice at once western and soulful — sometimes contained, sometimes roaring with a Neil Young tempo, Canadian through and through. There is a stark contrast between the solitude of “Old Pine” and the urgent rise and fall of “Take Me Home,” but neither is out of place. The same vast unity finds its way into the lush and wild imagery of “Badlands,” crisscrossing the country’s terrain. Canada is a diverse tapestry. Raven Shields is sewing the pieces together, a defining voice of Canadiana.
Tagged: aaron comeau, matches, raven shields, Toronto
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Posts
- May 21, 13
The day has finally arrived. Honey+Bread is out. Michael Hamm has laboured over this masterpiece for five years, investing his vibrant character into his intuitive writing voice and self-honed production profile. This album could double as an anthropology thesis (method: participant-observation) on contemporary North American courting rites and the experience thereof. That this ethnography is transmitted through a rap album is an additional comment unto itself. Dig deeply into this hilarious but nevertheless sincere and heart-felt report on coming-of-age in Edmonton, AB.
The release show is June 6th at Wunderbar with Mitchmatic, The Joe, and Big Ben. Facebook event here.
- May 16, 13
Doug Hoyer is one of Old Ugly’s most celebrated artists. After Walks With The Tender and Growing Night appeared in 2011, the attention our homey little cadre was getting began to snowball. In the time since then, Doug has toured tirelessly while pecking away at this new gem. To Be A River contains two years’ fruits of pop experimentation and inward gazing. It’s a veritable triumph, friends! The album will be available online on May 28th and on vinyl and plastic on June 15th at a dual release show with Cantoo (Aaron Parker). Spread the word. Augment your summer! Singles and show info below.
- May 14, 13
Mikey Maybe’s long awaited debut full length has arrived. This pop rap masterpiece is an artifact of early 21st century courting rituals. Don’t sleep! The album appears online on May 21st. Pre-orders are available now. The release show on June 6th with Mitchmatic, The Joe, and Big Ben, will see the arrival of the plastic spinnerz. It’s at Wunderbar, Old Ugly’s artistic cradle, and will be cheap and dirty. See you then, friendos. Scroll down for show info and streaming singles!
- Dec 16, 12
OLD UGLY is proud to present you with another Christmas album, just in the nick of time. Very few of our official roster were able to pull something together but plenty of our talented friends had songs ready for a mix which they were happy to contribute, most notably our new bedroom folk imprint led by Tyler Butler, Cabin Songs. Check that out asap. Enjoy the eggnog vibrations! Here’s it is.
- Oct 02, 12
Joe Gurba’s newest recordings in two and a half years have finally arrived. In the person of Help, Gurba explores the ideational manifestations of an individual untethered from society by an impenetrable mental repression amounting to a violent schizophrenia. A Viper In The Mind is composed over some of the most forward thinking instrumentals out there right now whose ambiance and weight mirror the subject matter. Dive in. The release show is tonight, October 2nd.
- Sep 16, 12
- Sep 11, 12
Help is the new project from Joe Gurba, a brief and disturbing study in philosophy, psychology, and science of self & consciousness. This mixtape is set to beats from some of the most forward thinking producers going right now. Two songs are available for now. The release is on October 2nd at Wunderbar and your ten dollar cover will get you your own balaclava, surgical gloves, and download code, so you can join Help in the experience of untethered singularity. Singles streaming below, pre-orders are available now:
- Aug 22, 12
OLD UGLY is happy to announce that the long awaited Renny Wilson record, Sugarglider, has finally arrived. We also welcome aboard long time friend and OU’s first comedian, Jon Mick, will be releasing his debut recording, Beardmilk, with us! The release show is called THE SPECIAL and it also features the release of Field+Stream‘s long awaited debut full-length! Local legends Whitey Houston join this cadre making this the must-see show of the year. The Special is presented together with CJSR 88.5 FM and Metro Cinema (on their anniversary weekend at Garneau Theatre). The event will be hosted by Craig Martell and will also feature several local music video screenings, some of which will be debuts. Tickets are available now. More information here. Jon Mick & Renny Wilson pre-orders will be up very soon. Poster and album covers below. Dig it! ♥OU
- Aug 05, 12
The all new Catgut record has arrived. Stream it or buy it or tell your people! Here you go. There’s a great review on Argue Job if you would like to enjoy it with a healthy serving of flowery prose. Catgut are on tour for the next few days. Calgary on the 5th (tonight) and Vancouver on the 7th and 8th. If you’re out there, be sure to check them out. They’re live show is to die for.
- Jul 31, 12
Phil Holtby’s newly imagined Catgut releases Fightpicker this Saturday August 4th before heading out on a great big tour with Banshee. Two singles, ‘Truce’ and ‘Taken Back’, dropped today! They are streaming below. Pre-sales are also available. Come get your hands on a copy of Fightpicker this Saturday at Elevation Room! It’s going to be everything you could have ever hoped or imagined. More info here.
Teddy Holtby, our prodigal Old Uglian, one of the founding Fathers of OU, returns from Brooklyn for one night only at Wunderbar this Thursday, August 2nd. More info here.
Mitch Holtby aka Mitchmatic is headlining his first show since his Sonic band of the month showcase and CD release. He has won the Lieutenant Governor’s award for the arts, played festivals all over Canada including the Winnipeg Jazz Fest, and now he returns to our comfy little Wunderbar flanked by faithful cohorts Mikey Maybe and The Joe on August 9th. More info here.
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Albums
- 36 tracks
BuyThese are the singles from most of our releases since we got it all started a few years back. Just head to the old ugly home page for links to the individual albums. Some of them are free, others are cheap. We know yr M.O. Some are on cassette, others on CD, others on 7" and 12" and the like. They're all digital. <3 <3 <3-
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- 19 tracks
BuyWe almost let this year go by without a Christmas album but in the 11th hour, we called on all our friends to see what could be whipped up and voila, here's what we gleaned from the pinch of the winter winds. ***** Cabin Songs—OLD UGLY's new folk imprint headed up by our own T. Butler—was in the midst of working on a Christmas comp even earlier and so they have combined that one with this one for ultimate xxxmas satisfaction. Check out the Cabin Songs' site if you haven't yet: www.cabinsongs.com. Big things are happening!-
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- 25 tracks
BuyOLD UGLY and many friends came together in a flurry of songwriting and production (half of which was done by the man, René Wilson—producer of Sugarglider, Jessica Jalbert, Liam Trimble, etc.) and mastered by René as well. May these humble holiday cants carry you through the turkey (or tofurky) hang over. I hope it drips like rummy eggnog and breathes like a clove tobacco. And if you see Santa, tell'em OLD UGLY says "What's good, Fam?"-
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BuyLIAM TRIMBLE SAYS CHRISTMAS IS IN THE BRAIN. Perhaps. OLD UGLY has opinions too — guarded under mistletoe. Get to know us and you too can inhabit our titular bell jar of dichotomous hope and despair, soaked in blood. ENJOY THIS MUSIC BECAUSE ON 12 21 12 THE WORLD IS SPOSE TO END. THAT'S JUST TWO WEEKS SHY OF CHRISTMAS. MAKE THIS XMAS COUNT, YOUNG PEOPLE.
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Posts
An evening spent drowning in the boisterous cacophony that fills Wunderbar. The swanky Old Strathcona club, a known hideout of the Old Ugly criminal outfit, was recently almost shut down after extensive police investigation. I inhale cigarette after cigarette, contributing to the hazy air, sipping at fine imported beer – a rumored byproduct of the extensive smuggling operations alleged of Old Ugly.
A single pillar of light illuminates the stage and, in an instant, the roar of the bar fades into absolute silence. Struggling to see over a rising sea of interlocked shoulders, I can distinctly hear the ring of high heels on the wooden planks of the dais. A voice rings pure and true over the dusty microphone, cutting through the thick air, entrancing the audience. Another night at Wunderbar; another performance by resident singer Caity Fisher.
I stand upon the step of my barstool and finally catch a glimpse of Fisher. She is sheathed in a fitted black dress, her hips swaying as she serenades her captive audience. The silk scarf tied about her neck is one of many presents from lovelorn admirers who frequent the club. She finishes her first number to rapturous applause. A smile forms as her husky voice purrs a sultry, “Thank you, boys.” She pulls out a long cigarette and in an instant three men close to the stage are holding lit matches out for her. She ignites and lets the cigarette drape from her finger as she begins another tune.
Every head turns as a single, drunken man turns to his companion and speaks, breaking the intense attention of the crowd. His drunken utterances are almost incomprehensible. With a look of disgust, a nearby patron turns and catches him across the jaw with a right hook. The disruptive speaker falls to the ground. My attention reverts to Fisher; for most of the bar, it never wavered.
When her performance ends, applause, whistles and catcalls follow her off of the stage. A gigantic man, roped with heavy muscle – typical of the thugs employed by Old Ugly – blushes and stammers a greeting as he hands her a bouquet of roses. She smiles and glides past him into the back labyrinth of Wunderbar – gone until another night. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TONIGHT IS NOT.
- “If you want shoulders like mine,”
says Doug Hoyer, “you have to do yoga.” He settles his muscular bulk, clad in a well-tailored white suit, back in a plush Wunderbar booth. We are seated in the swanky Old Strathcona club, a well-known hideout of much of the muscle of the Old Ugly criminal organization. Our conversation has turned to the finer points of muscle development and maintenance, a topic on which the gargantuan Hoyer can converse at great length.
Amidst swirling charges of war profiteering and drug smuggling across Atlantic naval channels, Hoyer remains calm. “My distant cousin, Helmut Hoyer, fought in the second World War. I would never initiate a war profiteering scheme.”
“Clearly these charges are false.” A ticking vein in Hoyer’s corded, anabolic neck warns me of the danger of further inquiry. From the corner of my eye, I watch one dinner-plate hand relax from a tightly clasped fist. He pulls out a cigarette and strikes a match against the table. His eyes light up one final time with a testosterone-fueled fire – fire that extinguishes along with the match as he once more relaxes onto our booth.
Hoyer’s hooliganism is less in doubt. He is among the most feared of media mogul Joe Gurba’s regular hires from the criminal underworld. Behind his back, whispers refer to him as Hoy Boy, a twisted reference to his massive size. (Tyler Jack Butler)
I am too busy to write a long post today. Everyone I asked is too busy to write a guest post. Instead, here is a terrible picture of a turkey wearing a top hat and glasses and a Born Gold t-shirt (Get it? Turkeys say “Gobble Gobble”). Look, just go to the Artery tonight.
Love,
Tyler Jack Butler
THIS DRAWING IS SHITTY. TONIGHT IS NOT.
- Jalbertmania
Jessica Jalbert serenades the crowd at Wunderbar, Friday Oct 29, 2011. Photo by the elusive Yogashoulder.
- Today, the citizens of Edmonton know “The Joe” Gurba...
…as a multi-faceted media and shipping mogul. His philanthropic motions collide with his criminal undertones, creating mixed feelings about the presence and societal dominance of the Old Ugly organization.
The mythology surrounding Gurba’s rise to prominence are a direct result of his ironclad grip on Edmonton’s media. Cleansed of fact, rumor takes a life of its own; the public consciousness fantasizes and debates about the mogul’s roots.
Stories emerge of repeated suicide attempts. Blurry photographs show Gurba hanging from the freezing railing of the High Level Bridge, two dark figures pulling him to safety as he struggles to commit the plunge – three twisting, black bodies etched against the snow-covered structure.
Whispers of a long pilgrimage to southeastern Asia arise from eyewitness accounts of a heavily bearded Gurba recovering from opium addiction in a Vietnamese hospital. Reports are increasingly common of Gurba’s secret meetings aboard Russian nuclear submarines in the dark channels of the Arctic Ocean. And, evidence mounts of his business association with Wunderbar, the swanky Old Strathcona hub of criminal activity. Of course, Gurba’s recent and highly suspicious hostile takeover of Edmonton’s brewing community is certainly not the first in a long history of shady transactions.
The mythology of the The Joe is counterbalanced by the reality of Old Ugly’s dominance over Edmonton’s social, artistic and business spheres. What gave rise to the voice that broadcasts from crowded radio sets, from street corner loudspeakers, from every car window? Perhaps the citizens of Edmonton will never know, but they will surely speculate. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. FUNDRIVE IS NOT.
I am sitting in Jessica Jalbert’s private limousine, waiting on the cool autumn tarmac of the Edmonton International Airport for the world famous rock star’s plane to land.
A screaming current of teenagers awaits Jalbert as her plane rests its heavy bulk on the runway. The chaos of the scene is barely mediated by the wall of riot police that line a corridor through the crowd. I can see Jalbert meandering through, giving signatures and waving to her admirers. As she settles at last into the vehicle, it begins to slowly pull forward, parting the frenzied, oceanic motion of the dense crowd.
The previously unknown Jalbert rocketed to world fame this year after signing with Joe “The Joe” Gurba’s major record label, Old Ugly. She returns to Edmonton for the first time since embarking on a six-month tour across Europe, Russia and Asia. In her wake, she has left a startling uprising afflicted with the newest teen phenomena — Jalbertmania .
“Fame hasn’t changed me,” she tells me, lighting a cigar as she settles back in her seat. The limousine is flying down the highway, 160 km/h traveling north on the Queen Elizabeth II.
She continues, in public and private, to deny any connection to the increasingly apparent criminal undertones of Gurba’s media and shipping empire. “Neither I nor any of the members of my touring team participate in any smuggling acts on the behest of Mr. Gurba.” Her tone belays the robotic legality of a well-practiced response. “If you will excuse me, I usually do not speak on the day of a show.” We pass the remainder of the ride in silence.
Jalbert will perform tonight at Wunderbar, the swanky Old Strathcona club operated by the nefarious Craig Martel, and a well-known hangout of Gurba and his Old Ugly cronies. After the private event, packed with an array of Edmonton’s alleged criminal elite, Jalbert will immediately fly to Las Vegas and begin her year-long residency headlining the “Brother Loyola” themed Cirque Du Soleil show. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TONIGHT IS NOT.
Professor Jim Cuming’s office smells of pipe smoke and old books. The shelves that line the walls bow under the weight of heavy tomes. Late autumn light streams through the small window, illuminating a school of dust particles swimming through the air.
Dr. Cuming is a renowned professor of criminology, about to begin his first semester instructing at the University of Alberta. “I moved to Edmonton to be closer to the rampant criminal activity that has seized this once pristine trader’s outpost,” says Cuming. “Edmonton is home to a new breed of criminal — Joe Gurba and his Old Ugly cronies. This is a great opportunity for my work.”
Cuming adamantly denies any personal involvement with the Gurba Foundation and its media flagship, Old Ugly. He describes his frequent public sightings in the company of Gurba — and the fact that Gurba houses Cuming in his personal Old Strathcona mansion — as to pure academic interest.
“It is important to immerse oneself in one’s studies,” says Cuming. His current project involves a detailed psychological profile of Gurba’s new thug, a hulking figure of fear shrouded in misinformation and rumor, known only as Jom Comyn.
“No, neither I nor the police, who I work closely with, have any comment on Jom Comyn,” says Cuming. This even as fear ripples through the Whyte Avenue public after Jom Comyn was seen frequenting Wunderbar, the swanky Old Strathcona club that often houses Gurba’s henchmen.
As I leave Cuming’s office, I comment on the strange smell of his pipe tobacco. “Oh, I assure you I smoke only the finest opium,” smiles Cuming as he settles back in his plush desk chair. (Tyler Jack Butler)
The re-opening of 99th street, presided over by Edmonton kingpin and media mogul Joe “The Joe” Gurba and his much-younger wife Bethany, was a small affair.
The Gurbas, surrounded by an exclusive group of business associates and politicians, were the guests of honour. Gurba, who privately funded the project, watched as his wife cut a red ribbon that stretched across the street.
This is a significant step in the public presence of the Gurba Foundation. The company is most known for its nefarious ties to smuggling rings, Gurba’s personal connections to reputable drug lords and the empire’s pervasive media control.
Known colloquially as “Gurba Boulevard,” 99th street now features a line of flourishing trees down the middle of the way. Small cafes and shops line the widened sidewalks. The Mill Creek and Old Strathcona communities, despite frequently condemning his alleged criminal actions, have publicly stepped forward and saluted the kingpin’s philanthropic community building effort.
Gurba’s infectious smile brightens his explanation for the redevelopment: “I do most of my shipping by submarine now. I no longer require 99th street as a trucking route. And I appreciate the view of a beautiful community boulevard from the balcony of my mansion. It was such an eyesore.”
Another piece in the complex puzzle of the man who is “The Joe.” (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. OLD UGLY IS NOT.
Tyler,
I can’t tell you how pleased I’ve been with your work as of late. I had some of our people break into your apartment and bug it a couple weeks back when I noticed you were over achieving. The recordings I’ve picked up have been much to my amusement; the breaking glass, arguing yourself off your window ledge, hellacious sex, and all the lovely folk songs. I was also happy to find an empty fridge and that mohogany desk I had given you covered in cigarette burns and half empty bottles of scotch.
Now read closely: I am planning on getting a head up on a prohibition law that I have hired lobbyists to try and push through parliament. In the event of such law I would of course profit largely by having a small and talented brewery like Yellowhead in my clutches. I would like you to take those folk songs of yours down there tonight and infiltrate the event they are having. Once done your set, have them lead you to the green room and then request some privacy. I’ve placed a bottle of chloroform and a pistol inside the couch cushion. By whatever means necessary you will get me that deed. And if you don’t, I expect you to be a man and use the pistol on yourself.
Good luck, Kiddo.
J.G.
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TONIGHT IS NOT.
Straight from two sculpted jewels of hyper-masculinity comes the new Edmonton Oilers pump up song — new young beats for the new young team.
Read the article in the Edmonton Journal. Notice this FIERCE quote:
The main theme, I guess, is revenge because we thought that’s probably how the Oilers feel like now after a few bad seasons. When they do have a good season, it will be like this vindicating moment for them. — Michael Maybe
Vote for Mikey Maybe and Mitchmatic on the Journal’s website.
- The Ongoing Argument...
…continues about Joseph “The Joe” Gurba’s increasing control of Edmonton’s media.
As usual, Gurba, the notorious Edmonton kingpin, will broadcast his personal radio show on the mighty CJSR from 11am-1pm today. After acquiring Rawlco this weekend through extended hostile takeover, Gurba’s radio empire, now unified under flagship station CJSR, controls every frequency in the Greater Edmonton Area’s bandwidth.
The Joe was allowed to walk free last week after Mikey Maybe, attorney-at-law, successfully defended him against charges of masterminding an arctic smuggling ring.
Beginning this week, and extending indefinitely, Gurba’s show will rain down from loudspeakers on every street corner in the city — further increasing the pervasive reach of the media mogul. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TODAY IS NOT.
I am seated at an ornate mahogany desk in a decadent downtown Edmonton office. Mikey Maybe, attorney-at-law, paces the room and runs a hand through his greased-back hair. The behemoth ruby attached to his pinkie ring catches in the autumn sunlight.
I am visiting Mikey Maybe, defendant of infamous Edmonton kingpin Joseph Gurba against his recent smuggling charges. Maybe (real name Michael Hamm) is well-known for defending a rotating cast of Gurba’s accused minions.
On the way into his office, I passed under his well-known slogan, printed in gold lettering on the wall of the waiting area. Citizens of Edmonton have seen it for years on bus stops and in the back pages of newspapers: Trust Mikey Maybe. Maybe you did it, Maybe you didn’t.
Hamm adamantly protests any affiliation with Gurba. “I bought my Mercedes all by myself!” he vehemently blasts. Your correspondent notes the bravado that makes Hamm a force in the courtroom.
Maybe will defend the infamous Canadian hip-hop artist “Socalled” this afternoon. “Mr. Gurba did not hire me to defend Socalled,” says Hamm. “I believe in my client’s innocent. It is my duty as a good Canadian to defend him.” His ruby pinkie ring catches once more in the sunlight. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TONIGHT IS NOT.
Celebrity research partners Stacy Lloyd Brown and Phil Holtby are set to embark on yet another thrilling oceanographic adventure. This time, the two will explore the northerly Aleutian Trench in a luxury submarine privately funded by Edmonton kingpin Joseph Gurba — a media and shipping mogul recently accused of keeping strong ties with the Russian Mafia.
Known for their exploratory prowess, the pair plan to visit some of the darkest and most mysterious regions of the arctic trench.
The long dark of the arctic deep deters most, but for Brown and Holtby, it is a calling they cannot refuse.
“We are secret folk,” says Brown. “Underwater, our secrets are safe.” Holtby, known in the scientific community as DoT, has been staring wordlessly at this reporter for ten minutes. Slowly, he drops one heavy eyelid in a long wink.
Brown and Holtby frequently return artistically fulfilled from their excursions. They are known to travel with a functioning recording studio. They often return from trips with new material, which they release through Old Ugly — the media giant at the top of Gurba’s entertainment portfolio.
The pair are the guests of honour — and the entertainment — tonight at a send-off event hosted by Wunderbar, the swanky Old Strathcona club operated by the nefarious Craig Martell, known for his strong links to smuggling rings operating through publicly unknown oceanic arctic channels. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TONIGHT IS NOT.
When the Edmonton apartment building owned by Joe Gurba, who lived in the penthouse suite, burned down last May, he made a choice he never imagined.
“Material possessions are so important to me,” says Gurba, the wealthy CEO of Edmonton-based major label Old Ugly, “the hungry flames were creeping toward my things, longing to devour them. I had to choose which of them was most important, and leave the rest to burn.”
The aging Gurba wipes away the single tear that travels down his chiseled jaw.
Gurba and his much-younger wife Bethany survived unscathed. Bethany cradled a priceless accordion filled with hundred dollar bills. Joe chose to rescue the ledgers for his music empire.
Lost in the flaming wreckage was the thousand page manuscript of Gurba’s first collection of poetry, written during long airplane rides and limousine drives while traveling for business.
Gurba is unfazed by the loss. “I wrote a bunch of new poetry instead. Better poetry.” Gurba grins, “I was clean when I wrote the last book. Since then, I’ve taken up a daily cocktail of experimental drugs.”
“I keep getting better at everything,” says Gurba.
Although “The Joe” profited handsomely from the fire, he shrugs off any lingering accusations of arson. “My homies are going to come to your house and f**k you up if you ask me any more questions,” he says with an infectious smile. (Tyler Jack Butler)
THIS STORY IS FICTION. TONIGHT IS NOT.
Fertile minded fans, have you seen the new web-side property we constructed?
It is a model of minimalist cyber-suburbia: a lived-in show house that we only clean when we know you are coming over. You can never tell.
Visit us: olduglyco.com
- MAKE OUT SHOW Tonight!
WUNDERBAR.
TYLER BUTLER tylerbutler.bandcamp.com
LIAM TRIMBLE liamtrimble.bandcamp.com
SIMON HOSKYN simonhoskyn.bandcamp.com
NICK DEHOD myspace.com/nickdehod
Candle Light, Romance, Sensual Folk. If Boyz II Men played guitars, this would be their valentine to humanity!
$5. Wunderbar.
Beth is home! Come visit her! She is going to some show at Wunderbar.
Also — the prodigal sons returneth. Joey and The Doug are back in town. They will be telling stories and singing songs — perfected by weeks of repetition and process — tonight at (where else?) Wunderbar.
Come watch the homecoming parade. Bring your date.
Photo cred to The Edmontonian
Catch all of Jom Comyn’s Sunstroke EP here. Buy the disc. It comes with two bonus tracks. Trust me, they are worth it.
(Aug 26, 2011: Thanks to the Edmonton Journal for this video portal into last night’s event)
Will you be on the trolley tonight? If you are one of the few, you already know it. The summer sun in Edmonton is a heavy handed teenager, gripping your shoulders as it streams through the windows of the heritage tram, uninhibited and simmering.
Or will you be waiting for the trolley to arrive at Steel Wheels? Waiting for the pay-what-you-can, Bulgogi scented show of the year.
Jom Comyn is releasing Sunstroke tonight. Old Ugly is proud to add it to the roster.
Albums like Sunstroke only come around once in a long while. This is a seminal Edmonton recording, highlighted by the title track.
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Posts
CAMEMBERT + BETRAYERS
Only two good, local, rustic bands.
No waiting around.
You have zero patience when it comes to waiting around.
Only two good bands.
Lots of balloons.Calgary’s JUNG PEOPLE wind down from their first Canadian tour with this lovely date in Edmonton at the wunderful Wunderbar. They will be joined by a lovely bunch of local avant-enthusiasts.
JUNG PEOPLE (Calgary)
2-piece post-rock goodness. Playing a very special noise/ambient-infused set!
PIGEON BREEDERS
Fatigue-wave space rituals.
DUTCH HEY WAGON
Who dey!
LORDS KITCHNER (Moose Jaw)
Nice tunes from touring Moose Jaw folks.
WUNDERBAR
DOORS at 8:30.
MUSIC at 9 SHARP!!!
$5.
Celebrate / lament the passing of summer.Music that will melt your hearts and soak your eyes.
Some of Alberta’s finest songwriters are getting together to showcase their wares with hushed tones and unorthodox setups.
And you can’t talk. Seriously. Talking is for patios. Inside is for sitting and listening.
So library voices and attention is all we ask. And $7.
18+What do you do when you’re a Fringe performer? Let loose and party!
What do you do if you’ve spent 10 days partying and supporting art? Immediately continue to party and support art!
Wunderbar, Ripley’s Plumbing and Clearasil bring you a night of comedy and music.
Latcho Drom
The Sweathearts
Craig Martell
Jon Mick
Liam Creswick
Mike Robertson
Joe Gurba
and more!!
Weirdly cheap drinks!
Maybe a cake or something.
18+
Door by donation.- Jay Andadam 3:00 PM
Western Symbols 3:30 PM
LiamTrimble 4:00 PM
Sir Ma’am Ma’am 4:30 PM
City of Champions 5:15 PMRebuild Repair 6:00 PM
Labradoodle 6:45 PM
Ben Everyman 7:20 PM
Tiff Hall 8:15 PM
Mitchmatic 9:00 PM
Gab’n 9:55 PM
Viking Fell 10:45 PM
Morals 11:35 PM
Black Mastiff 12:20 PM
Quite a bit to take in… Amirite?
For $10 at the door you get to see a healthy serving of some of Edmonton’s endless supply of talented musicians! Each and everyone of these delightful characters has volunteered their bountiful skills to bring together the most generous folks in the world, Edmontonians, to support our lil’ local Stollery Children’s Hospital Foundation. We are also fortunate to have an out-o-towner, Ben Everyman, who will be nested right in the middle of our musical onslaught.
Earplugs will be provided. Doors at 8
$7 at the door
18+
Letters to Sunday
Demetra (Winnipeg)
Zachary Moon vs Rusty
Hollerin’ Pines (Winnipeg)
Cadence and NathanWunderbar presents an evening of blurred out rock and roll. The foot-gazing Creaks, Montreal’s sludgy shakedown: Kurvi Tasch, the duchess of RnR: Caity Fisher, and Mtl’s brotherly punkers: Sharing, unite for ultimate satisfaction. Here’s the recipe:
¼ • CREAKS
½ • KURVI TASCH (Montreal)
¾ • CAITY FISHER
1 • SHARING (Montreal)
WUNDERBAR
9PM $7Time for a roots overhaul of endless prairie magnitude. Joe Nolan (Debuting with Calgary Band) and Canyon Rose Outfit team up to offer us all a night of nodding reflection.
❀ ❀ ❀ JOE NOLAN ❀ ❀ ❀
❀ ❀ ❀ CANYON ROSE OUTFIT ❀ ❀ ❀
WUNDERBAR
9PM $10Kurtis Schultz aka Kusch, an electro crypt keeper sent from the future, a greek god, a certifiable juggernaut, ready at last to unleash this new EP on the world. Joined by 99 a Hundred, a new formation of Shout Out Out Out Out members, and Miyuru Fernando.
✈ ✈ ✈ KUSCH (ep release!)
✈ ✈ ✈ 99 A HUNDRED
✈ ✈ ✈ MIYURU FERNANDO
WUNDERBAR
9PM $10Veneers (Newfoundland)
Todos CaeránMinuet
Latcho Drom
Doors at 8, bands at 9.
$8 (Support touring folk)
5 bands is a lot, but we’ll move it along nicely so everyone can see everything. Bands right at 9. Punk time is for losers.The nectar of AB garage punk is drentching the steps of the Wunderbar in less than a week. Turn your Tuesday into a fuzzy eternity with Mammoth Cave Recording Co’s own FIST CITY! Joined by the eazy’s Burn Collector and Calgary’s Teledrome, everyone wins!
✗ ✗ ✗ FIST CITY (Lethbridge)
✗ ✗ ✗ BURN COLLECTOR
✗ ✗ ✗ BONSPIEL!
WUNDERBAR
9PM $7♠ ♠ ♠ FERAL CHILDREN (Saskatoon)
♥ ♥ ♥ BRAZILIAN MONEY
♦ ♦ ♦ ENERGETIC ACTION
♣ ♣ ♣ ZOMBIFYUS (Saskatoon)
WUNDERBAR
9PM $7
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Posts
- Feb 25, 13
It has been a lovely time putting on such fantastic shows with such fantastic people so come celebrate that legacy this WEDNESDAY with one final hurrah . These are all the generous fellers who’ve helped make ER happen: THE JOE, DOUG HOYER, GHOST COUSIN, TYLER BUTLER. 8pm Admission by donation!
- Feb 19, 13
On Wednesday the part of your brain that reconciles glee and thick grins with ire and eerie affect is on fire for Born Gold—formerly Gobble Gobble for you long time lovers. Cecil Frena, hometown hero, returns from a long Eurotour with a hope for some of that Edmo romance. From the horse’s mouth: “it’s our european homecoming, it’s edmonton’s chance to see jessica jalbert play with the band, we’re going to play a bunch of new material from the brand new record that will come out later this year. also we will have beards, except jess.” Extra PAs and subs in the little Elevation Room will make this a dance to remember!
This Friday Cabin Songs and Arguejob.com proudly present a line up built from dreams. It may be fate that brought together some of the most lauded artists that arguejob.com and The Ongoing Argument (CJSR, Mon 11-1) have ever doted on. YES YES YES. Don’t be the one who missed this. PAUL STEWART, MATTHEW A. WILKINSON, JOM COMYN, THE ROYAL IGUANA FUR
Then on Saturday come get your soul massaged by the rich Pythagorean harmonies dialed by Nuela Charles and co-conspirators, Fendercase, Jess Smith, and Bo Aganaba. They’ll scrape the barnacles off your spirit, give you songs to believe in.
- Feb 11, 13
The wunderkind of Edmonton’s chilly folk cadre, Braden Gates, descends on Elevation Room this Friday with an all new album in the talons!!! Boreal Sons, the baroque folk zephyr winding north from their native Calgary, will make your let-down hair dance over your shoulders. And the not-so-green Layton Kramer of the Eerie Green will delight. Must not be missed… $10, 8pm
On the other hand if you have been looking to get your mind melted then come to Elevation Room this Saturday to have Krang psychedelically meld minds with you and melt it from within. They will be releasing a very limited cassette featuring improvised jams from the recent Prairie Tragedy sessions (the coming Krang full length). Featuring the talents of Renny Wilson on organ. Also featuring the lithe, mind massaging fingers of Clay Sample to prepare you for the evening. $5, 8pm
- Feb 04, 13
Edmonton’s jazz greats come together this Friday for a night sure to shake your bones enough you’ll think Parker himself will show just before close. Love Supreme will blast the gates open in a truly Coltranian fashion leaving the basement open for Three Sun Sea to sweep you away and God Save The Trio to lead you all the way home. Don’t miss out, doors at 8, music at 8:30. $10 at the door
Saturday brings the Elevation Room another classic art form in the country ramblings of one Lauren ‘Lucette’ Gillis as well as the modern tradition of the record release courtesy of troubadour Trevor McNeely w/ backing band NEK Trio. Emma Perri brings the place to life at 8:30. $10, doors at 8.
- Jan 28, 13
MEGA DANCE PARTY FRIDAY WITH EDMONTON’S STEP-TO-THIS SENSATIONS. You will win forever with Mosh, Mitchmatic, DJ Gingham, and DJ Lindstrom, transforming the Elevation Room into the disco eye of god!
✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂
✥ MOSH ~ http://www.iammosh.bandcamp.com
✥ MITCHMATIC ~ http://www.mitchmatic.bandcamp.com
✥ DJ GINGHAM
✥ DJ LINDSATRONOn Saturday the power of pop compels you! Join some of the brightest rising argonauts on these prairie seas. Souvs comes alive, Nature Of comes alive, Molly Little comes alive! Witness a rebirth of indie rock. Buyer beware, contains warm happy feelings.
✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂ ✂✥ SOUVS ~ http://www.souvs.bandcamp.com
✥ NATURE OF ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1QFSoIQmB0
✥ MOLLY LITTLE ~ http://www.mollylittle.bandcamp.com
- Jan 23, 13
This Friday prep yourself for some sexy pop and noisy rock. Magic in the Kill and I Am Machi kick the evening off with some tightly wound pop freshness and crunchy ground guitar rock, respectively. Aku Aku will surf the middle and provide the beach blast this cool city needs!
On Saturday the great Elevation Room brings together three brazen and brash heart stirrers for a show not to be missed. Alex Vissia takes center stage with her stunning jazz pop compositions, Cayley Thomas carries her guitar like no other, and Chris Tenz uses his frozen arms to find a frozen home on this frozen stage.
- Jan 14, 13
RattleRattle comes to our fair venue with undercurrents of wonder and imagination. Lo, a live show not to be (dis)missed. Marlaena Moore returns to the basement of joy/Transcend with more than just her sweet voice in tow for she has found a troupe of troubadours to join her in her musical quest. Finally, Oliver Buck wishes to regale you with his magnetic tales of intense emotion. All for only $5 this Friday, doors at 8, music at 8:30
Prepare to watch rock and roll get taken down and forcefully rearranged on Saturday with a lo-fi soundtrack by none other than Edmonton’s great rock golem Brazilian Money with Calgary’s own demon of the deep, Telstar Drugs there to art-rock you into oblivion. Joining them will be the smoother than silver OJ Pimpson and the back from the void Ex Jocks. $5, doors at 8, music at 8:30
- Jan 08, 13
Friday is raaaaaaaaaappppppppp myoozik! Bronwyn Black becomes Crittergrom, assisted by the loyal Nerd Alert in certified party rocking. Zine Queen by day, mic controller by night. Don’t miss the mayhem. The Joe & Big Ben in full sprint, sweat slow motion beading from their rhyme powered brow. Wise up! All Ages & Licensed. $7. Doors 8, Music 8:30.
Saturday is Carrie Day & Erin Mulcair joining forces to bring you an evening of extraordinary delight. Their fine ensembles will extrapolate the purest joys from the realm of possible sound and deliver them fresh baked to your hungry ears.
- Dec 31, 12
Friday January 4, the Elevation Room presents an evening of music to calmly fall asleep to on a hazy, sunny day. Billie Zizi, whisks you away with her quiet comfy keyboards, while Emma Perri‘s heartfelt, intimate melodies take you on a zen journey to remember, with the soulful Paul Cournoyer beginning the evening proper. Event
On Saturday the newcomer apocalypse, The Archaics, will tear up every flower that sprouted during Friday’s show and feed them to the returning champs of noisy RnR, Diehatzu Hijets. The Dizzies will clear the air at 8:30! Event
- Dec 18, 12
Kyle McCrea and Conrad Black are Wild Ways. They return to Edmonton this Friday with new waves and noise pops for your rosy salivating maw. Joined by Clint & Will (of Shout Out fame) as Physical Copies née 99 a Hundred, and Ben Disaster’s new Love Electric joints, no one can lose! $10. Doors 8, Music 8:30.
Hometown troubadour & troublemaker Daniel Moir returns on Saturday! One night only, Elevation Room presents you an Edmonton darling sprung from the soil and road salt, triumphantly crooning in his natural habitat alongside the movers and shakers, Dead Red Pine, and the next big thing, Molly Little! $10 at the door. Doors 8, Music 8:30.
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Links
- OLD UGLY Recording Co.
Wunderbar
The Elevation Room at Transcend Coffee Jasper
Swig of Alberta Traveling Music Festival
Argue Job the Blog (Tune in to CJSR 88.5FM on Mondays from 11:00-13:00 for the weekly radio incarnation: The Ongoing Argument)
