JHONEN VASQUEZ

One of the first items to go up in my tiny webstore, this print is feeling old and its knees are all wobbly, and it’s time to say goodbye to it as we put it on a boat and set that boat on fire, just like a viking, or that old lady that was being mean to the neighborhood cats.

Grab it by Sunday and say a prayer to PRINT JESUS that this print has a good journey.

Just like the headline says, guys, there’s some screen prints, they’re for sale, you can buy them, but you’re still gonna die someday. OH WAIT, MAYBE YOU WON’T IF YOU BUY THESE PRINTS! (You will definitely die despite the sales pitch)

The original designs for these were for a ZIM convention that took place last year, but these have been slightly altered so that they’re from the future, just about a thousand years in the future to be exact.

The future rules, ladies and gentleman.

They’re a bit smaller than the original prints, there’s a bit more color, they’re from the future. Also, the chipboard stock they’re screen printed on is so horribly thick that they barely bend and is so heavy, if swung at just the right angle, could probably chop a person’s head off.

If you succeed in chopping a head off with one of these prints, please send photos.

Prints are signed with a general sense of ambivalence.

$Z.99 Store

I was on The Indoor Kids gaming podcast! I literally don’t stop yammering about who the hell knows what (that’s how I recall recording this anyhow). I don’t think I mention any smaller games I’ve been playing because my Colonial Marines sadness was still fresh in my brain. Also, I wish I had never attended that party where that guy I never met took that awful photo of me and uploaded it to Wikipedia because it’s sorta the go-to photo to use for people who want to remind me that people take terrible photos of me, or that maybe I’m just terrible.

Just click on the image above to go to the podcast, or find it on itunes or I just don’t know, I can’t keep telling you how to live your life, man.

These Question Sleep Skull shirts went up on the TopatoCo store this past week and just in time for some of you guys who I threw acid on and ruined all your nice shirts. These are nice shirts, and maybe they’re even acid proof (they are not acid proof).

Comes in two colors and will keep you safe from all harm (no). I have no idea why one shirt is a quarter more than the other, but that maybe makes it more special, or maybe you wear one for more casual events and then the more expensive grey on grey one to those fancy cotillions you go to.

Finished Dead Space 3. I don’t know that I ever need to play another Dead Space game ever again, but I loved getting through this many of them and feel content to remember all the breathtaking badassery experienced.

Drew this right after in honor of mashing the goddamned RB button on my controller to mash open containers for years and years.

So the Emerald City Comicon is happening again in Seattle Washington on March 1-3, and I’m going to be there. It’s gonna be great, and I can’t wait to see the looks on people’s faces when i smash through the convention center walls on my custom built, jet powered  signing table.

That’s right, I really hate how, at every signing, you have to look up at all these strangers’ faces looking down at you as you sit on some lowly folding chair, a position of weakness, no doubt, so a couple of years back I started work on retrofitting one of those military rocket desks for civilian use.

So yeah, I’ll be there, doing my usual convention thing, signing, mumbling, eventually regretting not dishing out the extra cash for the defensive cannons on the rocket desk.

Even though I’m there with the TopatoCo guys, they themselves are ashamed of me and have banished me to the SIGNING AREA C (dramatic echo effect), where dreams go to shit themselves and die.

Friday

Signing Area 1

6:00-7:30pm

Saturday

Signing Area 2

1:30-3:30pm

6:00-7:00pm

Sunday

Signing Area 2

12:30-2:30pm

4:00-5:00pm

If you have trouble finding it just follow the sound of my haunted cries.

I’m also on two panels this year, one where it’s just me and then another with the guys from Titmouse Studios. You can skip the one with just me so I can catch up on some sleep but don’t miss the Titmouse one.

MY PANEL – Saturday – Hall A at 12:30 P.M.

TITMOUSE PANEL – Saturday  - Hall B at 5:10 P.M.

I’ll keep ya updated as things like special con-only mini prints come up.

How could anyone have trouble sleeping with a bloody hellpig like that smashing through your window? Some kids are just so spoiled.

Over at $Z.99, one of the most frequently asked questions received is “Hey, $Z.99, when can I buy that Floor Damage screen print that keeps saying it’s sold out? I need it to live or I’ll die eventually someday possibly of natural causes.” The answer to that question is always the same, you CAN’T buy that print ever again, because it’s gone, guys, gone forever into the dark night of limited screen prints. That’s the whole idea! I mean, they wouldn’t be all that special if we just kept printing them over and over. We’d be denying a whole bunch of people that glorious feeling of loss and guilt and shame at not being one of the select few who got their hands on the things. Pff…

BUT GOOD NEWS: We start the year off with a new version of the classic (A year old is classic, right? Probably) screen print with this blue and white on black, slightly bloodier variation. Actually, I don’t recall the previous red, pink and white version having any blood on it at all, so a single bloody knife makes this one the only bloody version until some future version printed WITH blood on…bloodpaper.

This print run is limited to 200. Each 11″ x 14″ print is signed, numbered, and sparkly. That’s right, this time around the paper is like the night sky, sparkly and uncaring for your petty joys and worries. NEAT, RIGHT?

These will go on sale this Wednesday. WATCH THE $Z.99 SKIES!

In other $Z.99 news, to celebrate the coming of the new prints, the price of the grotesque CREEPACHU! screen print sets is going down to 50 bucks! All the first, lower numbered sets have been sold, and we’re glad to have such awesome fans who jumped on them, but we want to make it easier on the people buying these new Floor Damage prints to also get in on the disgusting molester pikachu action.

There are also a number of signed but unnumbered, individual versions of my half of the Creepachu collab. Those will run $30, so if you want both you’d be saving by buying the set, but if JR. Goldberg’s Creepachu just gives you flabby nightmares, this is your option to just grab mine. Just want hers? Check out her store for when they’re on sale there!

After a little delay, the Creepachu screen prints JR Goldberg and I did are just about ready to gelatinously explode into the $Z.99 store this coming week (currently down for maintenance getting all tarted up for you!), so keep an eye out for them but don’t get any in your eye or you’re just outright fucked.

It’s a two print set, with Goldberg and I each taking a stab at the kind of Pikachu you don’t want getting anywhere near you or your loved ones. The set is $60 and each print is signed by their respective jerk!