Jerry Lentz
Radio Personality and successful Podcaster who has been heard on over 400 stations Worldwide. Filmmaker whose work has been seen on ABC, CBS, IFC, Sundance and YouTube. Writer whose has been in NY Times, Details, LA Weekly, City Beat and Campus Circle.
Updates
Updates
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I just bought one! I'm so excited! (@YouTube http://t.co/fIIERenE)
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AWESOME!!! (@YouTube http://t.co/BZjbRmBX)
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Please take a listen to the second cut from the soundtrack to my film, "The Cycle" and let me know how much you like it http://t.co/xDh4IbkR
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Dang, I wish I coulda been there! (@YouTube http://t.co/UiwdQgxf)
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You are amazing! (@YouTube http://t.co/0WGPqEGF)
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Fantastic! (@YouTube http://t.co/PD8nNvTW)
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I'm a MacBook Pro user and I sure would love to get the software to create the (@YouTube http://t.co/n3khQ3Hv)
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The World Famous Jerry Lentz: I want to update this blog, as I have lots to say,... http://t.co/TjZgHmNc
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Awesome! (@YouTube http://t.co/w7rQMd90)
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lol, right! (@YouTube http://t.co/CMRyE0oC)
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How did Larry Cohen get so awesome? Was he born that way, or did he train himse (@YouTube http://t.co/CMRyE0oC)
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AWESOME!!! I would love to have Jack Hill telling me stories all day long! (@YouTube http://t.co/3rxtlhnU)
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I love this film and this trailer from hell! (@YouTube http://t.co/jSE85jJ1)
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http://t.co/f8AERO8H Hunter S. Thompson by acclaimed artist Jessica Lentz.
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Art of Jessica: Dali http://t.co/ItQPHfe0
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Art of Jessica: Andy http://t.co/DxISzERw
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I loved this movie so much as a kid! Also, John Badham has a cool voice and can (@YouTube http://t.co/8tPtYok4)
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I LOVED this show when I was a kid!!! I will get this!!! (@YouTube http://t.co/U3SkftLA)
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Posts
January 06, 04:00 AM
With our new metal detector I found what I thought was a civil war sword, but in fact it is part of a plow. I dug it up this afternoon! Very exciting! It's iron from Lynchburg Plow Works dated 1896. How cool is that! When I was walking the property, every couple of paces, I'd get a spark signal of some metal. It was just too could to dig. I know there's a chest of gold hidden out there!
I sure could use some old forgotten gold, silver, cash... Some women just love giving me things! Today a very nice lady gave me a Bell & Howell Super 8mm movie camera! The best part was the cool leather carrying case. I can put booze in there!You must also visit:
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http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 04, 06:55 PM
"The ghosts in the house were waiting. They knew someone would come to them. Ghosts mean us no harm. They're never warm. You can see through ghosts like I can see through you. Him, him, him, him, him, him, he's the only one you think about, but I have friends and the pipes have frozen. This group's got your shit possessed, but there's more, isn't there? The gaping void where your sad soul sat. This and that be held close and over flame in dreams. The skeleton in you is a rattling. On the part of the brain that hallucinates, they speak to you in squeals like nails on a chalkboard and nails in the coffin of someone breathing in the dark of the box. If the cats see you wanting, and the half body gliding down the darkened hallway, they will know and judge with their eyes. The spark of his blood glitters the stairs. The knife shining in the light of the moon frozen above my neck like a dead star. The cries buried in whispers seep through the garden like
murmurs sifting through the rib cage. The slim candle flickers after flame, beats in the night wind and tries to snuff it out. The machinery of the old wheelchair is faulty with crumbling dark red rust, and screeches like rats burrowing their way to the soft brain through the eye sockets, reaching for warmth. It's a difficult way to grieve in the murky water, breath barely held as he fights to hold her golden haired head under the stagnant water of the garden pond. Dead leaves litter like skeletons of ships and decomposing hands and the water bugs skim the surface reflection. Black tadpoles silhouetted by the pale skin of her thin nude body swim, bloated and ill with plague these sick swollen sperm that are curiously investigating her body. There's a light in the window of the locked room in the attic. Something deformed looked out at me."
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January 03, 11:45 PM
It's a Winter Window Garden started in the kitchen! We'll see if the deer will jump up this high to eat it! Got Spagetti Squash, Zucchini, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Egg Plant, Watermelon and Honey Dew! Now if I could only grow mushrooms and weed, but I just don't know where to get seeds!
It's great here! We got a new metal detector for xmas and I've found what we hope might be a civil war sword buried in the backyard! We have only uncovered about 12 inches of blade, before it got too cold. I hope to find a box of gold, too! You must also visit:http://www.jerrylentz.com/
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January 02, 10:17 PM
Dang! I need to keep the office closed to kitties! One of them pooped on my laptop! GROSS! The heat of the MacBook acted like an Easy-Bake Oven and turned the droppings into something not unlike the texture of a piping fresh oatmeal cookie, hard on the outside and gooey on the inside. I bet it tastes like shit, though! Them kittens are too young to know that was a wrong thing to do, so neither of them look guilty.
But I will get my revenge! One of my favorite radio dramas was a version of, "The Tunnel Under the World" by Frederik Pohl, and tonight, unable to sleep even though heavily medicated with sleep inducing drugs, I found in my collection of books a copy of "Simulacron-3" by Daniel F. Galouye. While reading it, I was surprised how similar it was, so after I was done, I looked online to see whose work was first, it was Pohl's, but the more interesting fact was "Simulacron-3" is what, "Welt am Draht" by Rainer Werner Fassbinder is based on. Now I need to see it!Went to look at an old tractor the other day. I'd really like to have an old time one. This one was probably from the 17th century and the farmer told me, "It still runs, but it's old and it shuffles like an old man. It threw one of it's coils out, but it ran like a dream." I laughed and said, "Ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil." He squinted his eyes and stared, then said, "You ain't one of them queers are ya?" You must also visit:
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http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 01, 09:08 PM
...but kind of the same.
I haven't written anything in a while here. I've spent most of my time on Facebook. I did participate in the National Novel Writing Month event where you have 30 days to finish a 50,000 word novel. I reached my goal in 7 fun filled days. Now I'm thinking I'll try to write a novel every week. Starting today; I'm writing one (50,000 + word) book a week! Exercise daily! Get the garden going! Start back to blogging! Start back to podcasting! Learn guitar! Learn hypnosis! Paint more! Build projects! Start acting workshop back up and MAKE MOVIES!!! We can do it!!! Dexter de Cat (See above photo) was helping me write. He's a very helpful boy! He has lots of great ideas, he loves a good story with a chase, like the one about him chasing ladybugs, chasing his sister Marcelline de Cat's tail and the high tech spy thriller involving him chasing the dot of a red laser. Thanks for your continued support,Jerry You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
October 08, 07:11 PM
I'm touched by all the personal messages people are posting about what Steve Jobs meant to them. People that weren't even Mac users seem to get how he changed the world. I remember when people told me how they felt when Disney died, or FDR, or John Lennon, or JFK...
I was so depressed, but reading his quotes and the lovely comments from the people touch by his work has somehow filled me with a kind of joy. Isn't that strange?
I was just informed me that the assholes at the Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest at Steve Jobs's funeral. Why can't "Anonymous" do something about them?
What a GREAT time I had last night! JL2 bought a brand new mower that turned out to be 50% off!!! Couldn't believe the luck on that! Then she bought a skill saw that we've really needed! She also bought strings for the electric guitar and a cord to the amp! Oh, I had the best club sandwich I've ever had, and it was like two meals, because I ate half and got full, so into a box went the other half that became my midnight snack! It was like the best day EVER!!!
Then…
I knew the wonderful feelings I was having last night would have to be ground down and chiseled away today. I'm just not strong enough to keep trying to get along with assholes.
BTW, I spell assholes, c. u. n. t. s!
Enjoying today's chore of unfriending Conservatives, Teabaggers, Christians, Sunnis, Shias, Sikhs, Hillbillies, Meanies, Thugs, Terrorists, Gangstas, Oil Industry Employees, Banking Industry Employees, Monsanto Employees, Halliburton Employees, General Electric Employees, Publishers that ripoff writers, and people that use interns for free labor only! If you are any of these please unfriend me now!
It appears Sarah Palin might be under investigation for soliciting contributions under the guise of a possible run for the presidency when money was probably laundered through a cross-country family vacation. This might be getting good!
JK Rowling is one of over 60 people lining up to expose the truth and sue Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch's other fake news provider, the now defunct paper, "News of the World". I can't wait until Fox News also shuts down.
Two News items; Want the Good News or the Bad News first? "Male Circumcision Is Medically Beneficial, Experts Say" and "Research Reveals Oral Sex May Be Leading Cause of Mouth and Throat Cancers" Just when I thought I was getting ahead by being married, these doctors have to go shooting their mouths off and jerking me around emotionally. This News SUCKS!
YOU have to WATCH this video right NOW!!! It is life changing! Pass this on to all your friends and family!
October 03, 06:33 PM
Please come and visit it online! Five beautiful acres teeming with a multitude of inspiring subjects waiting and ready to become the next global art star. Nestled upon the highest point of foggy valley and surrounded by a dark forest, bubbling creek, eerie creatures, glowing eyes, and slithering reptiles, this lil' shoppe is a factory of ideas and handmade goodness. The craftsman and artisans are never satisfied until your wonderful purchase arrives safely to your home. They are also eager and willing to provide you with custom and commissioned art work, please message us. We love to talk while we make things!
October 01, 05:58 PM
I used to have quite a nice collection of tools! I had power tools, tools for precision work, tools for specific and delicate crafts, but when I moved I gave them all away. Why? I just thought I had no need to ever use them again. I had no idea what was just around the corner.
Now I have the space for a movie studio, so I need to build props and sets and rigs to hold lights…
I need to build frames and stretch canvases for JL2 paintings.
There's so much to do, but I haven't any tools or supplies or lumber, yet.
Feel awful today! So you know what to do; You are my medicine, make me feel better! My throat and sinuses closed up and I've been having these really horrible coughing spells. The wind has been blowing, there was a fire down the street, the field across from the house was bush-hogged... Just so many reasons for me to be inhaling particles. I even got out the Neti pot.
Please make me feel better!
ESP, JL2's 13 year old kid came in my room and said, "We saw a UFO flying over Nashville today!"
I asked her to describe it and she said, "It was round and shiny black and it reflected the ground under it."
Did you take a picture of it?
"No."
Did you have your camera?
"Yeah."
You didn't think to take a photo?
"Uh, no."
Why?
"Because mom and I both saw it with our own eyes!"
Ugh...
JL2 and ESP went yard-sailing and they got me 2 DVDs "Closer" and "In the Bedroom" 2 films I like a lot.
It was my intention to start another fast this month, but feeling this way kinda made that look like an awful idea, so JL2 made me Angel Biscuits, Chicken Salad and Grape Salad... and it was GOOOOOOD!
Oh, and for dessert Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake? Uhhhh....
OMG! I can't believe I was thinking of fasting this month!
September 30, 03:32 AM
Searching for Halloween ideas JL2 was contacting a costume shop that we're gonna visit tomorrow and the proprietor was describing the place and what they sold when suddenly she said, "By the way, I Gay!"
JL2 didn't know what to make of that. Like why did that make a difference? The conversation ended and JL2 looked up the website and read that the owners NAME was "Gay!"
Can't sleep, so I thought I'd watch my wife sleep for a while. I love the way she looks when she sleeps. She's so peaceful, so beautiful, just an innocent angel. She has a slight smile and a relaxed look on her face. She's so tired from a long day of work there's no way she'll wake up when I carefully undress her and take nude photos.
Shhh... Don't tell her.
This is to repay her for this!
It's a fact, people are loving her paintings that you see above! She's already sold a few, so if you know someone that wants one, they better hurry and look at this!
September 28, 01:59 AM
I swear, I tried to wait! I just have to show you JL2 at work on a fantastic new icon portrait! JL2 is even using her finger on her! You can see she's wet! Can you tell me who she's painted and what film this is from?
I used to be such a fan of his as a kid! Frank Frazetta was the man! He dominated the fantasy art genre and my young life with images of savage warriors, curvaceous slave women and buxom princesses, alien creatures... My walls were covered with his work!
We have ocean acidification, ocean dead zones, garbage patches, hole in the ozone layer, numerous species no longer exist due to overhunting and overfishing, so it is completely laughable when you hear political boobs say that, "...man cannot impact the environment!"
"Your phasers are useless against my panty-shields!" Overheard that today at Kroger from two silly sisters that giggled and ran when they noticed me in the aisle looking for suppositories that might possibly fit into the barrel of the NERF Longstrike Sniper Rifle. I'm making a film that needs this as a prop! That's why!
On this date in 1964 the 888-page findings on JFK's death by the Warren Commission declared Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Do you believe that?
September 26, 10:01 PM
I never wanted to have kids!
They are selfish, stubborn, gross, messy, noisy, stinky… But this little baby stole my heart today! He has a cute and deep lil' voice that sounds all gravely and coarse. I like that!
Is it fair when you have to watch the crap a 13 year old girl wants to watch, but she doesn't have the common decency to watch the crap I want to watch? It's NOT fair!!!
I'll show her! I'm gonna pout all night! And maybe tomorrow, too!
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Talked with a friend about, "potential" and I said, "'Potential' just means you ain't worth a shit now." She got the saddest look on her face.
Next week starts National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) anyone know any cool things going on? Remember a couple of years ago when all those cartoonists got together and used pink ink? I thought that was pretty cool.
Got online but haven't found any really interesting things like that going on. About 10 years ago I learned how to perform breast exams, so I might offer my services free of charge! I discovered that the tongue is really sensitive and babies use their mouths to feel shapes and learn about form, so figured the best way for me to do the breast exams is with my mouth. I know what you're thinking… Yes, I will do it for free, because I'm selfless! Oh, and No, I will not check the prostate, or look for testicular cancer using the same technique, because I just happen to be busy on those months.
HORRIBLE!!! I bit into a plump and juicy sausage link this morning, the kind that the insides where slightly less hotter than the surface of the sun, and it squirted its scalding grease straight up into my nostril and down the back of my throat!!! I panicked, struggling to find a tissue as my sinuses boiled and blistered to riotous offstage laughter from a friend that just moments before I had believed I loved more than anything in the whole wide world.
Sad.
My day was ruined.
September 26, 12:58 AM
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Watched some WikiLeaks videos... Not a good way to spend a beautiful sunday.
Watched, "The Lion King" for the first time, and is it just me or does Scar come across as kinda gay? I said I thought he was, but someone got upset and said he fathers a kid in part 2. I tried to tell her that even Nathan Lane has kids.
I currently live with two girls that are always cold. They wear coats around the house all the time. I start sweating when the temps hit 58° and continue on up until death occurs at around 90° so I'm miserable when they are comfortable. My body engine is steam driven and my brain has high voltage electricity arcing in a halo.
Native Americans fear me.
They say, "You have a spirit from the 5th World inside that no man or animal can see without death..."
September 24, 09:16 PM
The State Department estimates that there are 27 million slaves globally. How many slaves are working on your behalf?
My dad said he had kids because remote controls hadn't been invented then.
We laugh and joke while 27 million suffer...
If I only had one dollar to help all those people, I'd be a 27 million dollaire! I need to start a charity! For every $2 you send me, I'll give one dollar to a slave!
You always hear about some mentally unstable veteran shooting people, but where are the wackos when ya need them to destroy the Westboro Baptist Church at 3701 W. 12th Street in Topeka, KS? If there was a way to collect a fund to do something like that...
After all the military funerals they've protested, all the children, friends and family members they've hurt...
Aren't there some warriors and military experts out there that could get the job done? Uh, if only...
Hmmm... Can't some Navy Seal Ninja type sneak in and get 'er done?
Okay, how about if this covert operation is made to look like an accident? Ah Ha!
I think this would make a good book! Army buddies go to bury the fallen war hero friend and encounter protesters at the funeral, they see the damage it's causing the window and their kids...
Then it's action time!
September 22, 08:22 AM
I was just wanting to show you the new Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin things because of Halloween coming up and then JL2 had to grab them! I tried to tell her I was just showing y'all what I'm hooked on now, but she seems to think I was gonna eat them! She hid them so I can't find them! I think that's rude!
And it's rude to you, too!
Going through my movie stuff for a possible Halloween Film Festival and started watching some Juan Piquer Simon. This is a very nice documentary! And check out the trailer for "Pieces" too! Dang!
September 21, 03:09 PM
I just couldn't wait to show you how artistically talented my sweet and beautiful baby is! JL2 has a great eye! Two eyes, actually! (What did you do to his eyes?) I wish you could see them in person, they look fantastic!! JL2 is showering now after going crazy with her talent tonight! There's paint everywhere and it looks like blood (Oh the blood, Mother!) and when she was washing her hands it was spiraling down the drain! Can you tell me who this is in these two paintings JL2 did? You know you want one, or even two!
I sure hope this isn't a sign that I'm getting close to the age where one might find themselves almost nearing or being... Old. Ever go to the bathroom, do your business, go to the trouble of wiping, shaking it all dry, even going the extra mile to wash your hands and spray air-freshener, then as you're drying your hands on a towel you suddenly feel that rumble in your belly that tells you that you need to go poop again? Ugh!
I was brushing my teeth with my Reach toothbrush after dinner and trying to sing "Sexy Boy" by Air at the same time, so my hand got covered with slippery toothpaste foam and the handle slid out of my grip and went deep into my throat and as I reached in for it I misjudged because of watching the action in the mirror and accidentally pushed the brush further past my gag reflex and THAT, ladies and gentlemen is how I became a supermodel!!!
Jack De Cat is looking at his reflection in the big mirror we got at the Fire Dept sale, that JL2 is restoring to its gothic splendor, and Jack is all confused by the pretty cat he sees but can't smell.
It must be blowing his lil' mind.
I hate when Youtube posts awesome and teasingly enticing channels they believe I should watch in the "Recommended Channels" sidebar only to cockblock me with, "This channel is not available in your country." Why post it then, assholes?
I was reading about a friend and his 15 year old daughter spotted Tori Amos and how his daughter went wild. He walked her over and asked for an autograph and while Amos was signing it, the girl said, "I just love you on Doctor Who! What is Matt Smith like?"
The father was so embarrassed, but Tori Amos just laughed it off and said, "I love Doctor Who, too!"
How cool that she didn't spoil it for the girl!
I was saddened to discover that Cameron Crowe's “Pearl Jam Twenty” tribute in honor of their 20th anniversary this year, didn't contain one mention of me or my film, "Angry Blue Planet" even though they did in two other biographies on the band.
I don't get it, Cameron Crowe has always been nice to me, too.
I was still talking about finally watching, "Finding Nemo" and the photo I posted on Facebook of, "Finding Nimoy" then my friend, Steve Kellener says, "Finding Emo - about a little goth fish." JL2 says, how about, "Finding Chemo - about a sick fish in a polluted and carcinogenic ocean." We laughed, then it got real quiet.
Too quiet, actually.
September 20, 04:05 PM
This kid was telling me how she goes to school with a Romanian boy named Vlad who has really bad asthma attacks, so her classmates being the nice and sweet little angels they are started calling this poor darling child, "Vlad the Inhaler!"
I think I might need to lose some weight. I just bent over to tie my shoes and found my chin resting on my gut and not because I'm flexible.
I've become a HUGE fan of Martha Colburn's work! There is a lot in her animation that I respond to. I first became aware of her for her work in the film, "The Devil and Daniel Johnson" and a friend from Detroit who performed music for her live installation. Check her out!
September 18, 06:38 PM
I think I know what I'm wearing for Halloween!
Speaking of fairytales...
Texas Governor Rick Perry says he has interpreted certain events through his life as signs from God. You really want a President that believes he gets "supernatural" messages from God.
I've been trying to write my memoirs using A. E. Van Vogt's writing methods, but ran out of antonyms for "mind-boggling!"
Is there any trick you use to be prolific? Besides, "Reply All."
My back is still hurting. I woke up stiff as a board. I was trying so hard to get it in gear. Hot shower. Hot rice bag. Hanging upside down on the inversion table. I hate to be this way, but having years of experience with back pain I know for a fact that the only thing that works in making it better is oral sex.
I think JL2 is on to me about this backache! She brought me breakfast in bed, then lunch, she rubbed my back, neck and feet. She fluffed up my pillows. Then I said in my strained and pitiful voice, "Sweetheart, I sure could use some hot fresh brownies and milk." She didn't even look at me when she said, "I'd like some to, so get your fat lazy ass in the kitchen and make some!"
I need to get back in shape. I think the shape I was in when I was 13 is pretty good. I'd like to get fit, but this way is so wrong on many levels and should be stopped at all costs.
JL2's 13 year old daughter ESP was telling us that Dr. Oz said if anyone gets 10 strands or more when you run your fingers through their hair that they will go bald, so I asked her if she could run her fingers through my luscious mane of back hair (because I can't reach it) to see if my back will go bald, she said, "I, I,...I just threw up in my mouth."
I don't get it! When I tell about the way JL2 is treating me (making me fold clothes when my back is supposed to be hurting, making me wake up at noon and shower, making me pick my own clothes up off the floor...) people just cheer her and request her to be their FB friend... MY friends! Where's the love for me? I'm the one that needs it!!!
September 17, 10:19 PM
JL2 brought me breakfast in bed! Then she nudged me, "Baby? Wanna go to see if there are anymore yard sales out there?"
How could I say no?
It was a great day! I got a cool 60s style chair for $2, JL2 found a really pretty dress for 50¢ and got a neat free table! We didn't stress about finding stuff or not, just chilled and looked and drove and looked some more. However, we forgot to eat lunch because we got distracted and both of us got hit all the sudden with hunger. It was weird, like we both hit a wall.
Then as we were finished I was leaning into the back of the car, loading some nearly weightless item, when my back suddenly went out! SHOOTING PAIN up my spine, through my neck and up into my brain... WHY??? I'm in such pain it hurts to type in all caps!
I threw my back out after a strenuous day of going to yard sales? I'm so flexible!
It's feeling better now.
I couldn't find the painkillers I usually have when I encounter my yearly back outage, so JL2 came into the bedroom and said, "Baby, I think I got just the medicine you need!"
She opened up a Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin® and applied it to me orally. That stuff was like fast actin' Tinactin® cause within seconds I started to feel better!
Once again, the trusty old Inversion Table I purchased over 10 years ago from QVC did the trick! It separated all the vertebra in my spine and the tangled coaxial of nerve endings fell loose and free like a rocking chair off a cat's tail.
Still have some sore muscles but nothing a good Thai massage with a happy ending won't fix!
Sadly no money fell out of my pockets while I was hanging upside down. That's only because I don't have any money, and the only things that fell out of my pockets were 4 Cherry Chapsticks®!
How did I end up with 4 in one pocket? Oh, and one pretty marble, too!
Check out my other blog about all films I watch! Today's film is, "The Living Dead: Three Films About the Power of the Past"
http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/2011/09/living-dead-three-films-about-power-of.html
As I'm a huge fan of Adam Curtis, I had been looking forward to this film. It is amazing, terrifying and at times hilarious. You get to see how naive science can be, how tax dollars fund huge black budget operations that inflict horrifying tests on enemies and the public without their knowledge.
Seeing this film means I've caught up with all his released films. The guy is absolutely the best! I sadly must wait for more of his work to be unleashed upon the world.
Remember our deer? The one with the broken leg? She's still here and her lil' ones are growing up so fast! They love that deer lick block with all the nutrients we put our for them. One day there was almost 15 deer out here! I was really worried for a few days because Hunting Season has started and there was gunfire all around us. If the deer only knew they were safe on our property...
September 17, 01:06 AM
JL2 just asked me if I wanted a brownie, but added, "...or are you too full from the Pop-Tart you just had?"
I didn't want to admit I just had one and was pissed she's keeping track, so I lied, "I didn't have a Pop-Tart!"
Then she says, "You didn't eat one? What are those crumbs all over your belly?"
Thinking I was losing brownies, I panicked, "Oh, I was picking my nose."
She gave a wincing kinda look, "If that's your lie you must be desperate for brownies!"
Well, the thing is, she knew it was Pop-Tarts, so she wasn't being gross and besides; My nose is so clean you could eat out of it!!!
A friend messaged me and said, "OMG Jerry, you gotta go and watch this commercial on youtube!"
So I go and search it. It was a commercial and guess what played before I could watch the commercial? No, another commercial! Remember way back in the grand old days before youtube played commercials before commercials?
Insurance isn't letting me get my medication refilled until after the day it runs out, and it would have to be called in again to the pharmacy, but it can't because my doctor is out of the office for a week during that time. There seems to be no way for me to get my medication without a 3-7 day lapse leading to major withdrawal a serious side effects.
I heard the Tea Party audience shouting "Let Jerry die!"
They had given me a year long prescription, but suddenly changed it to a one month without warning and at the last minute. Even the Doctors and nurses are at a loss to understand why they are doing it.
I can't believe it! JL2 woke me up at 10am to go yard sale hunting again!
JL2 and I were very disappointed in the yard sales we visited today! What happened? Last week was awesome, but today was the worst example of meth-heads, jacked up prices on dirty and broken items and babies running around with no diapers on. Awful, just awful.
JL2 tried to make up for a bad day at yard sales by suggesting we go by one of those Spirit Halloween stores and look at costumes. I was interested in picking up some liquid latex and other special makeup effects goop, but I thought I could find it cheaper elsewhere. Do you have a good source online that I might use?
JL2 is so skeptical. She is hard to talk to when it comes to UFOs, Ghosts, Nessie, Bigfoot, Fairies, Mothman, Sea Monsters, Dragons, Psychics and other things I know to be true.
On this day in 1963, the series, "The Outer Limits," debuted on ABC. Listen to the eerie opening of each episode, "There is nothing wrong with your television set."
The late Cliff Robertson stars as a Jerry Lentz-like disc jockey whose radio tower allows a highly dangerous glowing radioactive being to come to Earth.
September 15, 06:34 PM
I am proud to say I know the author of this brilliant work of SciFi! I loved "Starship Intercourse!" I loved the cover with the space helmets and nude bodies. The vacuum of space is okay on bare skin, just keep your head in that glass bubble!
This is a really nice Instructable about a sweet dad that build an Alien costume for his boy real cheap with Dollar Store items! I think it looks pretty good! Pump some smoke in, cover it with KY Jelly, spray it with steam, flashing strobe lights... You can make you own Alien movie! I LOVE it!
JL2 brought me breakfast in bed the other day. If she thinks this will get me to wake up before noon and cook for her... Then she's got another thing... Well, what I was trying to say before I was interrupted; She made this biscuit that looks like a little old wrinkly man I used to know as a kid.
I had been thinking about him the day before and wondered if he was in heaven or had reincarnated. Then the next day I get this biscuit from JL2! I should've saved it, but I buttered it up, dipped it in honey, sopped up some runny fried egg, and he was gooood! Life is so amazing if you stop and look!
I was trying to use hypnosis and the Force on JL2 to get her to do my bidding because I was sitting down reading, but she just smirked and sighed, "Uh huh" and didn't do what I wanted. I said, "Can't you say, 'Yes Master, I will do just as you say?'"
And get this; she looks at me in that distant and vacant way and says, "Yes, Bastard!"
JL2 made an awesome dinner last night, but I've been thinking about it all day today. She made spinach, garlic roasted potatoes and a delicious pork tenderloin! OMG, it was fantastic! Then after we finished she whispered to me, "The dinner was so easy to make, even you could do it." She is trying so hard to get me to cook! I'm not falling for it!
See, I think if I start cooking, she'll just expect me to do it 3 times a day. Then she'll have me doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, picking up after myself... It's endless!
Is anyone on here trying that square foot gardening thing, and is it any good? We're gonna have to do it up on our back deck. It's about 10ft off the ground and because we've been caring for deer and feeding them, they'd just think we were growing food for them and eat everything.
Have you seen the Scarlett Johansson nude photos she took of herself with her phone? Why do young girls take nude pictures of themselves when they only fall into the hands of bad boys? They need to realize that I can take those kind of photos for them and keep them safe!
JL2 gave me that one raised eyebrow look, but when I explained how important it is for me that girls feel safe and comfortable with me taking nude photos of them, she loosened her grip on my balls and said, "Sure, I understand perfectly."
We are really good about communicating! That's why I love her so much!
Posts
Please take a listen to the second cut from the soundtrack to my film, “The Cycle” and let me know how much you like it
Heavy Metal
With our new metal detector I found what I thought was a civil war sword, but in fact it is part of a plow. I dug it up this afternoon! Very exciting! It’s iron from Lynchburg Plow Works dated 1896. How cool is that! When I was walking the property, every couple of paces, I’d get a spark signal of some metal. It was just too could to dig. I know there’s a chest of gold hidden out there!
I sure could use some old forgotten gold, silver, cash… Some women just love giving me things! Today a very nice lady gave me a Bell & Howell Super 8mm movie camera! The best part was the cool leather carrying case. I can put booze in there!You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
I got back the translation of my dictation and none of it is what I said, but damn, it's cool
“The ghosts in the house were waiting. They knew someone would come to them. Ghosts mean us no harm. They’re never warm. You can see through ghosts like I can see through you. Him, him, him, him, him, him, he’s the only one you think about, but I have friends and the pipes have frozen. This group’s got your shit possessed, but there’s more, isn’t there? The gaping void where your sad soul sat. This and that be held close and over flame in dreams. The skeleton in you is a rattling. On the part of the brain that hallucinates, they speak to you in squeals like nails on a chalkboard and nails in the coffin of someone breathing in the dark of the box. If the cats see you wanting, and the half body gliding down the darkened hallway, they will know and judge with their eyes. The spark of his blood glitters the stairs. The knife shining in the light of the moon frozen above my neck like a dead star. The cries buried in whispers seep through the garden like
murmurs sifting through the rib cage. The slim candle flickers after flame, beats in the night wind and tries to snuff it out. The machinery of the old wheelchair is faulty with crumbling dark red rust, and screeches like rats burrowing their way to the soft brain through the eye sockets, reaching for warmth. It’s a difficult way to grieve in the murky water, breath barely held as he fights to hold her golden haired head under the stagnant water of the garden pond. Dead leaves litter like skeletons of ships and decomposing hands and the water bugs skim the surface reflection. Black tadpoles silhouetted by the pale skin of her thin nude body swim, bloated and ill with plague these sick swollen sperm that are curiously investigating her body. There’s a light in the window of the locked room in the attic. Something deformed looked out at me.”
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
Jerry, Jerry, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
It’s a Winter Window Garden started in the kitchen! We’ll see if the deer will jump up this high to eat it! Got Spagetti Squash, Zucchini, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Egg Plant, Watermelon and Honey Dew! Now if I could only grow mushrooms and weed, but I just don’t know where to get seeds!
It’s great here! We got a new metal detector for xmas and I’ve found what we hope might be a civil war sword buried in the backyard! We have only uncovered about 12 inches of blade, before it got too cold. I hope to find a box of gold, too! You must also visit:http://www.jerrylentz.com/
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http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
CrapBook Pro
Dang! I need to keep the office closed to kitties! One of them pooped on my laptop! GROSS! The heat of the MacBook acted like an Easy-Bake Oven and turned the droppings into something not unlike the texture of a piping fresh oatmeal cookie, hard on the outside and gooey on the inside. I bet it tastes like shit, though! Them kittens are too young to know that was a wrong thing to do, so neither of them look guilty.
But I will get my revenge! One of my favorite radio dramas was a version of, “The Tunnel Under the World” by Frederik Pohl, and tonight, unable to sleep even though heavily medicated with sleep inducing drugs, I found in my collection of books a copy of “Simulacron-3” by Daniel F. Galouye. While reading it, I was surprised how similar it was, so after I was done, I looked online to see whose work was first, it was Pohl’s, but the more interesting fact was “Simulacron-3” is what, “Welt am Draht” by Rainer Werner Fassbinder is based on. Now I need to see it!Went to look at an old tractor the other day. I’d really like to have an old time one. This one was probably from the 17th century and the farmer told me, “It still runs, but it’s old and it shuffles like an old man. It threw one of it’s coils out, but it ran like a dream.” I laughed and said, “Ay, there’s the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil.” He squinted his eyes and stared, then said, “You ain’t one of them queers are ya?” You must also visit:
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http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
Start of something very similar...
…but kind of the same.
I haven’t written anything in a while here. I’ve spent most of my time on Facebook. I did participate in the National Novel Writing Month event where you have 30 days to finish a 50,000 word novel. I reached my goal in 7 fun filled days. Now I’m thinking I’ll try to write a novel every week. Starting today; I’m writing one (50,000 + word) book a week! Exercise daily! Get the garden going! Start back to blogging! Start back to podcasting! Learn guitar! Learn hypnosis! Paint more! Build projects! Start acting workshop back up and MAKE MOVIES!!! We can do it!!! Dexter de Cat (See above photo) was helping me write. He’s a very helpful boy! He has lots of great ideas, he loves a good story with a chase, like the one about him chasing ladybugs, chasing his sister Marcelline de Cat’s tail and the high tech spy thriller involving him chasing the dot of a red laser. Thanks for your continued support,Jerry You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
I want to shut my eyes and sleep it all away in a dreamless coma!
I’m touched by all the personal messages people are posting about what Steve Jobs meant to them. People that weren’t even Mac users seem to get how he changed the world. I remember when people told me how they felt when Disney died, or FDR, or John Lennon, or JFK…
I was so depressed, but reading his quotes and the lovely comments from the people touch by his work has somehow filled me with a kind of joy. Isn’t that strange?
I was just informed me that the assholes at the Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest at Steve Jobs’s funeral. Why can’t “Anonymous” do something about them?
What a GREAT time I had last night! JL2 bought a brand new mower that turned out to be 50% off!!! Couldn’t believe the luck on that! Then she bought a skill saw that we’ve really needed! She also bought strings for the electric guitar and a cord to the amp! Oh, I had the best club sandwich I’ve ever had, and it was like two meals, because I ate half and got full, so into a box went the other half that became my midnight snack! It was like the best day EVER!!!
Then…
I knew the wonderful feelings I was having last night would have to be ground down and chiseled away today. I’m just not strong enough to keep trying to get along with assholes.
BTW, I spell assholes, c. u. n. t. s!
Enjoying today’s chore of unfriending Conservatives, Teabaggers, Christians, Sunnis, Shias, Sikhs, Hillbillies, Meanies, Thugs, Terrorists, Gangstas, Oil Industry Employees, Banking Industry Employees, Monsanto Employees, Halliburton Employees, General Electric Employees, Publishers that ripoff writers, and people that use interns for free labor only! If you are any of these please unfriend me now!
It appears Sarah Palin might be under investigation for soliciting contributions under the guise of a possible run for the presidency when money was probably laundered through a cross-country family vacation. This might be getting good!
JK Rowling is one of over 60 people lining up to expose the truth and sue Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch’s other fake news provider, the now defunct paper, “News of the World”. I can’t wait until Fox News also shuts down.
Two News items; Want the Good News or the Bad News first? “Male Circumcision Is Medically Beneficial, Experts Say” and “Research Reveals Oral Sex May Be Leading Cause of Mouth and Throat Cancers” Just when I thought I was getting ahead by being married, these doctors have to go shooting their mouths off and jerking me around emotionally. This News SUCKS!
YOU have to WATCH this video right NOW!!! It is life changing! Pass this on to all your friends and family!
Last Train to Lentzville!
Please come and visit it online! Five beautiful acres teeming with a multitude of inspiring subjects waiting and ready to become the next global art star. Nestled upon the highest point of foggy valley and surrounded by a dark forest, bubbling creek, eerie creatures, glowing eyes, and slithering reptiles, this lil’ shoppe is a factory of ideas and handmade goodness. The craftsman and artisans are never satisfied until your wonderful purchase arrives safely to your home. They are also eager and willing to provide you with custom and commissioned art work, please message us. We love to talk while we make things!
I feel like a tool!
I used to have quite a nice collection of tools! I had power tools, tools for precision work, tools for specific and delicate crafts, but when I moved I gave them all away. Why? I just thought I had no need to ever use them again. I had no idea what was just around the corner.
Now I have the space for a movie studio, so I need to build props and sets and rigs to hold lights…
I need to build frames and stretch canvases for JL2 paintings.
There’s so much to do, but I haven’t any tools or supplies or lumber, yet.
Feel awful today! So you know what to do; You are my medicine, make me feel better! My throat and sinuses closed up and I’ve been having these really horrible coughing spells. The wind has been blowing, there was a fire down the street, the field across from the house was bush-hogged… Just so many reasons for me to be inhaling particles. I even got out the Neti pot.
Please make me feel better!
ESP, JL2’s 13 year old kid came in my room and said, “We saw a UFO flying over Nashville today!”
I asked her to describe it and she said, “It was round and shiny black and it reflected the ground under it.”
Did you take a picture of it?
“No.”
Did you have your camera?
“Yeah.”
You didn’t think to take a photo?
“Uh, no.”
Why?
“Because mom and I both saw it with our own eyes!”
Ugh…
JL2 and ESP went yard-sailing and they got me 2 DVDs “Closer” and “In the Bedroom” 2 films I like a lot.
It was my intention to start another fast this month, but feeling this way kinda made that look like an awful idea, so JL2 made me Angel Biscuits, Chicken Salad and Grape Salad… and it was GOOOOOOD!
Oh, and for dessert Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake? Uhhhh….
OMG! I can’t believe I was thinking of fasting this month!
Cauterize this passion with a blood red kiss!
Searching for Halloween ideas JL2 was contacting a costume shop that we’re gonna visit tomorrow and the proprietor was describing the place and what they sold when suddenly she said, “By the way, I Gay!”
JL2 didn’t know what to make of that. Like why did that make a difference? The conversation ended and JL2 looked up the website and read that the owners NAME was “Gay!”
Can’t sleep, so I thought I’d watch my wife sleep for a while. I love the way she looks when she sleeps. She’s so peaceful, so beautiful, just an innocent angel. She has a slight smile and a relaxed look on her face. She’s so tired from a long day of work there’s no way she’ll wake up when I carefully undress her and take nude photos.
Shhh… Don’t tell her.
This is to repay her for this!
It’s a fact, people are loving her paintings that you see above! She’s already sold a few, so if you know someone that wants one, they better hurry and look at this!
Scary Art!
I swear, I tried to wait! I just have to show you JL2 at work on a fantastic new icon portrait! JL2 is even using her finger on her! You can see she’s wet! Can you tell me who she’s painted and what film this is from?
I used to be such a fan of his as a kid! Frank Frazetta was the man! He dominated the fantasy art genre and my young life with images of savage warriors, curvaceous slave women and buxom princesses, alien creatures… My walls were covered with his work!
We have ocean acidification, ocean dead zones, garbage patches, hole in the ozone layer, numerous species no longer exist due to overhunting and overfishing, so it is completely laughable when you hear political boobs say that, “…man cannot impact the environment!”
”Your phasers are useless against my panty-shields!” Overheard that today at Kroger from two silly sisters that giggled and ran when they noticed me in the aisle looking for suppositories that might possibly fit into the barrel of the NERF Longstrike Sniper Rifle. I’m making a film that needs this as a prop! That’s why!
On this date in 1964 the 888-page findings on JFK’s death by the Warren Commission declared Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Do you believe that?
I never wanted to have kids!
I never wanted to have kids!
They are selfish, stubborn, gross, messy, noisy, stinky… But this little baby stole my heart today! He has a cute and deep lil’ voice that sounds all gravely and coarse. I like that!
Is it fair when you have to watch the crap a 13 year old girl wants to watch, but she doesn’t have the common decency to watch the crap I want to watch? It’s NOT fair!!!
I’ll show her! I’m gonna pout all night! And maybe tomorrow, too!
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Talked with a friend about, “potential” and I said, “‘Potential’ just means you ain’t worth a shit now.” She got the saddest look on her face.
Next week starts National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) anyone know any cool things going on? Remember a couple of years ago when all those cartoonists got together and used pink ink? I thought that was pretty cool.
Got online but haven’t found any really interesting things like that going on. About 10 years ago I learned how to perform breast exams, so I might offer my services free of charge! I discovered that the tongue is really sensitive and babies use their mouths to feel shapes and learn about form, so figured the best way for me to do the breast exams is with my mouth. I know what you’re thinking… Yes, I will do it for free, because I’m selfless! Oh, and No, I will not check the prostate, or look for testicular cancer using the same technique, because I just happen to be busy on those months.
HORRIBLE!!! I bit into a plump and juicy sausage link this morning, the kind that the insides where slightly less hotter than the surface of the sun, and it squirted its scalding grease straight up into my nostril and down the back of my throat!!! I panicked, struggling to find a tissue as my sinuses boiled and blistered to riotous offstage laughter from a friend that just moments before I had believed I loved more than anything in the whole wide world.
Sad.
My day was ruined.
Come and smoke my peace pipe!
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Watched some WikiLeaks videos… Not a good way to spend a beautiful sunday.
Watched, “The Lion King” for the first time, and is it just me or does Scar come across as kinda gay? I said I thought he was, but someone got upset and said he fathers a kid in part 2. I tried to tell her that even Nathan Lane has kids.
I currently live with two girls that are always cold. They wear coats around the house all the time. I start sweating when the temps hit 58° and continue on up until death occurs at around 90° so I’m miserable when they are comfortable. My body engine is steam driven and my brain has high voltage electricity arcing in a halo.
Native Americans fear me.
They say, “You have a spirit from the 5th World inside that no man or animal can see without death…”
An Enlightened Master is ideal only if your goal is to become a Benighted Slave - Robert Anton Wilson
The State Department estimates that there are 27 million slaves globally. How many slaves are working on your behalf?
My dad said he had kids because remote controls hadn’t been invented then.
We laugh and joke while 27 million suffer…
If I only had one dollar to help all those people, I’d be a 27 million dollaire! I need to start a charity! For every $2 you send me, I’ll give one dollar to a slave!
You always hear about some mentally unstable veteran shooting people, but where are the wackos when ya need them to destroy the Westboro Baptist Church at 3701 W. 12th Street in Topeka, KS? If there was a way to collect a fund to do something like that…
After all the military funerals they’ve protested, all the children, friends and family members they’ve hurt…
Aren’t there some warriors and military experts out there that could get the job done? Uh, if only…
Hmmm… Can’t some Navy Seal Ninja type sneak in and get ‘er done?
Okay, how about if this covert operation is made to look like an accident? Ah Ha!
I think this would make a good book! Army buddies go to bury the fallen war hero friend and encounter protesters at the funeral, they see the damage it’s causing the window and their kids…
Then it’s action time!
Don't take my candy!
I was just wanting to show you the new Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin things because of Halloween coming up and then JL2 had to grab them! I tried to tell her I was just showing y’all what I’m hooked on now, but she seems to think I was gonna eat them! She hid them so I can’t find them! I think that’s rude!
And it’s rude to you, too!
Going through my movie stuff for a possible Halloween Film Festival and started watching some Juan Piquer Simon. This is a very nice documentary! And check out the trailer for “Pieces” too! Dang!
JL2's New paintings are a SCREAM!!!
I just couldn’t wait to show you how artistically talented my sweet and beautiful baby is! JL2 has a great eye! Two eyes, actually! (What did you do to his eyes?) I wish you could see them in person, they look fantastic!! JL2 is showering now after going crazy with her talent tonight! There’s paint everywhere and it looks like blood (Oh the blood, Mother!) and when she was washing her hands it was spiraling down the drain! Can you tell me who this is in these two paintings JL2 did? You know you want one, or even two!
I sure hope this isn’t a sign that I’m getting close to the age where one might find themselves almost nearing or being… Old. Ever go to the bathroom, do your business, go to the trouble of wiping, shaking it all dry, even going the extra mile to wash your hands and spray air-freshener, then as you’re drying your hands on a towel you suddenly feel that rumble in your belly that tells you that you need to go poop again? Ugh!
I was brushing my teeth with my Reach toothbrush after dinner and trying to sing “Sexy Boy” by Air at the same time, so my hand got covered with slippery toothpaste foam and the handle slid out of my grip and went deep into my throat and as I reached in for it I misjudged because of watching the action in the mirror and accidentally pushed the brush further past my gag reflex and THAT, ladies and gentlemen is how I became a supermodel!!!
Jack De Cat is looking at his reflection in the big mirror we got at the Fire Dept sale, that JL2 is restoring to its gothic splendor, and Jack is all confused by the pretty cat he sees but can’t smell.
It must be blowing his lil’ mind.
I hate when Youtube posts awesome and teasingly enticing channels they believe I should watch in the “Recommended Channels” sidebar only to cockblock me with, “This channel is not available in your country.” Why post it then, assholes?
I was reading about a friend and his 15 year old daughter spotted Tori Amos and how his daughter went wild. He walked her over and asked for an autograph and while Amos was signing it, the girl said, “I just love you on Doctor Who! What is Matt Smith like?”
The father was so embarrassed, but Tori Amos just laughed it off and said, “I love Doctor Who, too!”
How cool that she didn’t spoil it for the girl!
I was saddened to discover that Cameron Crowe’s “Pearl Jam Twenty” tribute in honor of their 20th anniversary this year, didn’t contain one mention of me or my film, “Angry Blue Planet” even though they did in two other biographies on the band.
I don’t get it, Cameron Crowe has always been nice to me, too.
I was still talking about finally watching, “Finding Nemo” and the photo I posted on Facebook of, “Finding Nimoy” then my friend, Steve Kellener says, “Finding Emo - about a little goth fish.” JL2 says, how about, “Finding Chemo - about a sick fish in a polluted and carcinogenic ocean.” We laughed, then it got real quiet.
Too quiet, actually.
Sprocket holes made by my fangs help you breathe!
This kid was telling me how she goes to school with a Romanian boy named Vlad who has really bad asthma attacks, so her classmates being the nice and sweet little angels they are started calling this poor darling child, “Vlad the Inhaler!”
I think I might need to lose some weight. I just bent over to tie my shoes and found my chin resting on my gut and not because I’m flexible.
I’ve become a HUGE fan of Martha Colburn’s work! There is a lot in her animation that I respond to. I first became aware of her for her work in the film, “The Devil and Daniel Johnson” and a friend from Detroit who performed music for her live installation. Check her out!
Horny Unicorn!
I think I know what I’m wearing for Halloween!
Speaking of fairytales…
Texas Governor Rick Perry says he has interpreted certain events through his life as signs from God. You really want a President that believes he gets “supernatural” messages from God.
I’ve been trying to write my memoirs using A. E. Van Vogt’s writing methods, but ran out of antonyms for “mind-boggling!”
Is there any trick you use to be prolific? Besides, “Reply All.”
My back is still hurting. I woke up stiff as a board. I was trying so hard to get it in gear. Hot shower. Hot rice bag. Hanging upside down on the inversion table. I hate to be this way, but having years of experience with back pain I know for a fact that the only thing that works in making it better is oral sex.
I think JL2 is on to me about this backache! She brought me breakfast in bed, then lunch, she rubbed my back, neck and feet. She fluffed up my pillows. Then I said in my strained and pitiful voice, “Sweetheart, I sure could use some hot fresh brownies and milk.” She didn’t even look at me when she said, “I’d like some to, so get your fat lazy ass in the kitchen and make some!”
I need to get back in shape. I think the shape I was in when I was 13 is pretty good. I’d like to get fit, but this way is so wrong on many levels and should be stopped at all costs.
JL2’s 13 year old daughter ESP was telling us that Dr. Oz said if anyone gets 10 strands or more when you run your fingers through their hair that they will go bald, so I asked her if she could run her fingers through my luscious mane of back hair (because I can’t reach it) to see if my back will go bald, she said, “I, I,…I just threw up in my mouth.”
I don’t get it! When I tell about the way JL2 is treating me (making me fold clothes when my back is supposed to be hurting, making me wake up at noon and shower, making me pick my own clothes up off the floor…) people just cheer her and request her to be their FB friend… MY friends! Where’s the love for me? I’m the one that needs it!!!
When I'm upside down I can see up your skirt!
JL2 brought me breakfast in bed! Then she nudged me, “Baby? Wanna go to see if there are anymore yard sales out there?”
How could I say no?
It was a great day! I got a cool 60s style chair for $2, JL2 found a really pretty dress for 50¢ and got a neat free table! We didn’t stress about finding stuff or not, just chilled and looked and drove and looked some more. However, we forgot to eat lunch because we got distracted and both of us got hit all the sudden with hunger. It was weird, like we both hit a wall.
Then as we were finished I was leaning into the back of the car, loading some nearly weightless item, when my back suddenly went out! SHOOTING PAIN up my spine, through my neck and up into my brain… WHY??? I’m in such pain it hurts to type in all caps!
I threw my back out after a strenuous day of going to yard sales? I’m so flexible!
It’s feeling better now.
I couldn’t find the painkillers I usually have when I encounter my yearly back outage, so JL2 came into the bedroom and said, “Baby, I think I got just the medicine you need!”
She opened up a Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin® and applied it to me orally. That stuff was like fast actin’ Tinactin® cause within seconds I started to feel better!
Once again, the trusty old Inversion Table I purchased over 10 years ago from QVC did the trick! It separated all the vertebra in my spine and the tangled coaxial of nerve endings fell loose and free like a rocking chair off a cat’s tail.
Still have some sore muscles but nothing a good Thai massage with a happy ending won’t fix!
Sadly no money fell out of my pockets while I was hanging upside down. That’s only because I don’t have any money, and the only things that fell out of my pockets were 4 Cherry Chapsticks®!
How did I end up with 4 in one pocket? Oh, and one pretty marble, too!
Check out my other blog about all films I watch! Today’s film is, “The Living Dead: Three Films About the Power of the Past”
http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/2011/09/living-dead-three-films-about-power-of.html
As I’m a huge fan of Adam Curtis, I had been looking forward to this film. It is amazing, terrifying and at times hilarious. You get to see how naive science can be, how tax dollars fund huge black budget operations that inflict horrifying tests on enemies and the public without their knowledge.
Seeing this film means I’ve caught up with all his released films. The guy is absolutely the best! I sadly must wait for more of his work to be unleashed upon the world.
Remember our deer? The one with the broken leg? She’s still here and her lil’ ones are growing up so fast! They love that deer lick block with all the nutrients we put our for them. One day there was almost 15 deer out here! I was really worried for a few days because Hunting Season has started and there was gunfire all around us. If the deer only knew they were safe on our property…
Eat me!
JL2 just asked me if I wanted a brownie, but added, “…or are you too full from the Pop-Tart you just had?”
I didn’t want to admit I just had one and was pissed she’s keeping track, so I lied, “I didn’t have a Pop-Tart!”
Then she says, “You didn’t eat one? What are those crumbs all over your belly?”
Thinking I was losing brownies, I panicked, “Oh, I was picking my nose.”
She gave a wincing kinda look, “If that’s your lie you must be desperate for brownies!”
Well, the thing is, she knew it was Pop-Tarts, so she wasn’t being gross and besides; My nose is so clean you could eat out of it!!!
A friend messaged me and said, “OMG Jerry, you gotta go and watch this commercial on youtube!”
So I go and search it. It was a commercial and guess what played before I could watch the commercial? No, another commercial! Remember way back in the grand old days before youtube played commercials before commercials?
Insurance isn’t letting me get my medication refilled until after the day it runs out, and it would have to be called in again to the pharmacy, but it can’t because my doctor is out of the office for a week during that time. There seems to be no way for me to get my medication without a 3-7 day lapse leading to major withdrawal a serious side effects.
I heard the Tea Party audience shouting “Let Jerry die!”
They had given me a year long prescription, but suddenly changed it to a one month without warning and at the last minute. Even the Doctors and nurses are at a loss to understand why they are doing it.
http://inthesetimes.com/duly-noted/entry/11975/ron_pauls_former_campaign_manager_died_uninsured_free/
I can’t believe it! JL2 woke me up at 10am to go yard sale hunting again!
JL2 and I were very disappointed in the yard sales we visited today! What happened? Last week was awesome, but today was the worst example of meth-heads, jacked up prices on dirty and broken items and babies running around with no diapers on. Awful, just awful.
JL2 tried to make up for a bad day at yard sales by suggesting we go by one of those Spirit Halloween stores and look at costumes. I was interested in picking up some liquid latex and other special makeup effects goop, but I thought I could find it cheaper elsewhere. Do you have a good source online that I might use?
JL2 is so skeptical. She is hard to talk to when it comes to UFOs, Ghosts, Nessie, Bigfoot, Fairies, Mothman, Sea Monsters, Dragons, Psychics and other things I know to be true.
On this day in 1963, the series, “The Outer Limits,” debuted on ABC. Listen to the eerie opening of each episode, “There is nothing wrong with your television set.”
The late Cliff Robertson stars as a Jerry Lentz-like disc jockey whose radio tower allows a highly dangerous glowing radioactive being to come to Earth.
Audio
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Please take a listen to the second cut from the soundtrack to my film, “The Cycle” and let me know how much you like it4 plays
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Jerry Lentz Podcast: Feel It! | jerrylentz Sometimes you just never know when love will wrap its thighs tightly around you!10 plays
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Jerry Lentz Podcast 081011 | jerrylentz My new sounds! This is a podcast test, so I hope you enjoy and stick with me as more of my shows appear on SoundCloud.9 plays
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December 18, 03:34 PM
Welcome!
Jerry Lentz has been the voice for Movie Trailers, Television Commercials and over 300 Talk, Alternative, Rock, Active Rock, Easy Listening, Country and Sport radio stations in the U.S., Europe and Canada. His voice has also been heard on stations like WYSP (Philadelphia), WRIF (Detroit), WENZ (Cleveland), WHHH (Indianapolis), Q102(Cincinnati), WSIX (Nashville), WPBZ (West Palm Beach), KEDG (Las Vegas) KMYZ (Tulsa), KEDJ (Phoenix), KTCL (Denver), KKDJ (Fresno), CJ92 (Calgary), WYSY (Chicago), KDGE (Dallas), KSJO (San Jose), KRZR and KFRR (Fresno), KMRQ (Modesto/Stockton), KLSX (Los Angeles), KFI-AM (Los Angeles)
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of the videogame, Khronos: The Rise of Dark Warrior!
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of United Steel Buildings!
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of the videogame, BoomBox!
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of this AMF Bowling Video!
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of the videogame, Zayo!
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of 104.1 The Valley's New Rock Alternative! "This dude is our new voice guy, he rules!" Said Wilks Alternative KFRR/Fresno PD Jason Squires.
This is a sample of Jerry Lentz voicing KFRR 104.1
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of Radio Canal 80 in Geneva, Switzerland.
Jerry Lentz is now the voice of Arcade Bomb!
Please listen to the voice on this commercial and imagine how it would sound over the images of your product.
This is a low quality version of the Endless Highway National TV spot in mp4
This is another version of the Endless Highway National TV spot as an .mov
This is an audio version of the Endless Highway National TV spot as an mp3
Posts
April 24, 03:41 AM
I want to update this blog, as I have lots to say, done lots of stuff since I last spoke, but I feel maybe this project has brought me more trouble than it's worth... ...or maybe attempting to be friends with those who have become upset are more trouble than they're worth.
I'm getting so much closer to not giving a shit anymore that measuring its distance is impossible by any known means.January 16, 08:02 PM
JL2 got me a book about Jimi Hendrix, because she knows how much I love his guitar playing! She said, "I hope this helps you, but please, no playing the guitar with your teeth!"
Whenever I read out loud the cats gather 'round to listen no matter where I am.
I just watched an old BBC documentary narrated by Slash, it was really good!
I've gotten so many comments on this photo, people must really love Jimi Hendrix!
January 16, 07:55 PM
JL2 is painting a portrait of a really sweet movie star and wonderful Facebook friend, can you tell, from this blurry photo and canvas wet with paint, who this is?
Okay, this is the beautiful Jewel Shepard! Jessica (JL2) wanted to make something Jewel can keep or sell, maybe Del Howison could sell for her. She needs all the help she can get, so if anyone wants to help out. Let Del, Jewel, or Jessica know!
You can contact Dark Delicacies!
January 16, 07:46 PM
I ran a bath for JL2 and brought her some coffee. I asked her if she liked the bubble bath I bought and she said, "Can you get me some half and half cream, baby?"
So I went and opened a carton and when I came back in she was busy writing and I didn't want to disturb her, so I just poured the carton into the bath and she screamed, "NOT in the bath! In my coffee!"
I didn't know, 'cause I had been talking about the bath. She said it was expensive, but now she loves the way her skin feels!
January 16, 07:38 PM
Mankind faces nuclear armageddon and must build colonies on Mars and beyond, Stephen Hawking has said.
JL2 and I were talking about this and terraforming and she asked me, "What planet would you like to colonize?"
So I said, "I'd like to try Uranus."
She said, "I bet you would, but that ain't happening!"
January 16, 07:28 PM
I was playing Alien Chess earlier while eating a bowl of noodles when all of the sudden I started having chest pains! I thought it might be msg or too much sodium, a heart attack, maybe even gas... It felt like something was trying to burst it's way out of my ribcage! Turned out I just needed to poop really bad!
And kids, this is where babies come from!
January 16, 07:22 PM
January 16, 07:16 PM
Isn't weird when someone says they love you and want to spend all their time with you, but you say, "Let's live in separate houses, or at least in different rooms, because I snore!" And they go, "I don't care I love you and want to be with you!" So once you are together and some time has passed they begin saying things like, "Jesus Christ! Can you stop snoring! For the love of all that is Holy, if you don't shut the hell up and let me sleep, I swear to God I will smother you with your own pillow!"
Funny, where'd that love go?
January 16, 06:59 PM
January 16, 06:57 PM
I've been drawing quite a bit since I got a new stylus for the MacBook Pro trackpad, and I love it! JL2 was so kind to model for me! I'm not very good, yet, but I'll get better and better as time goes on. I have a lot to learn drawing on a computer.
Her arms are that high up, when she's chained to the wall of the basement.
January 06, 04:19 AM
With our new metal detector I found what I thought was a civil war sword, but in fact it is part of a plow. I dug it up this afternoon! Very exciting! It's iron from Lynchburg Plow Works dated 1896. How cool is that! When I was walking the property, every couple of paces, I'd get a sharp signal of some metal. It was just too cold to dig. I know there's a chest of gold hidden out there!
I sure could use some old forgotten gold, silver, cash... Some women just love giving me things! Today a very nice lady gave me a Bell & Howell Super 8mm movie camera! The best part was the cool leather carrying case. I can put booze in there!You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 06, 04:12 AM
Fairly certain this mirror will be on my album cover!
This is a cut from the soundtrack for my film, "The Cycle," a psychological thriller/horror film. I composed this in such a unique way that I believe I will continue using this somewhat experimental formula. I was highly influenced by John Corigliano's work with Ken Russell on "Altered States" and the use of unconventional instruments to create sound/music. To learn more visit me: https://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
I hope you enjoy, however, it's not "happy" music.
You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 04, 06:55 PM
"The ghosts in the house were waiting. They knew someone would come to them. Ghosts mean us no harm. They're never warm. You can see through ghosts like I can see through you. Him, him, him, him, him, him, he's the only one you think about, but I have friends and the pipes have frozen. This group's got your shit possessed, but there's more, isn't there? The gaping void where your sad soul sat. This and that be held close and over flame in dreams. The skeleton in you is a rattling. On the part of the brain that hallucinates, they speak to you in squeals like nails on a chalkboard and nails in the coffin of someone breathing in the dark of the box. If the cats see you wanting, and the half body gliding down the darkened hallway, they will know and judge with their eyes. The spark of his blood glitters the stairs. The knife shining in the light of the moon frozen above my neck like a dead star. The cries buried in whispers seep through the garden like
murmurs sifting through the rib cage. The slim candle flickers after flame, beats in the night wind and tries to snuff it out. The machinery of the old wheelchair is faulty with crumbling dark red rust, and screeches like rats burrowing their way to the soft brain through the eye sockets, reaching for warmth. It's a difficult way to grieve in the murky water, breath barely held as he fights to hold her golden haired head under the stagnant water of the garden pond. Dead leaves litter like skeletons of ships and decomposing hands and the water bugs skim the surface reflection. Black tadpoles silhouetted by the pale skin of her thin nude body swim, bloated and ill with plague these sick swollen sperm that are curiously investigating her body. There's a light in the window of the locked room in the attic. Something deformed looked out at me."
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 03, 11:45 PM
It's a Winter Window Garden started in the kitchen! We'll see if the deer will jump up this high to eat it! Got Spagetti Squash, Zucchini, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Egg Plant, Watermelon and Honey Dew! Now if I could only grow mushrooms and weed, but I just don't know where to get seeds!
It's great here! We got a new metal detector for xmas and I've found what we hope might be a civil war sword buried in the backyard! We have only uncovered about 12 inches of blade, before it got too cold. I hope to find a box of gold, too! You must also visit:http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 02, 10:18 PM
Dang! I need to keep the office closed to kitties! One of them pooped on my laptop! GROSS! The heat of the MacBook acted like an Easy-Bake Oven and turned the droppings into something not unlike the texture of a piping fresh oatmeal cookie, hard on the outside and gooey on the inside. I bet it tastes like shit, though! Them kittens are too young to know that was a wrong thing to do, so neither of them look guilty.
But I will get my revenge! One of my favorite radio dramas was a version of, "The Tunnel Under the World" by Frederik Pohl, and tonight, unable to sleep even though heavily medicated with sleep inducing drugs, I found in my collection of books a copy of "Simulacron-3" by Daniel F. Galouye. While reading it, I was surprised how similar it was, so after I was done, I looked online to see whose work was first, it was Pohl's, but the more interesting fact was "Simulacron-3" is what, "Welt am Draht" by Rainer Werner Fassbinder is based on. Now I need to see it!Went to look at an old tractor the other day. I'd really like to have an old time one. This one was probably from the 17th century and the farmer told me, "It still runs, but it's old and it shuffles like an old man. It threw one of it's coils out, but it ran like a dream." I laughed and said, "Ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil." He squinted his eyes and stared, then said, "You ain't one of them queers are ya?" You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
January 01, 09:08 PM
...but kind of the same.
I haven't written anything in a while here. I've spent most of my time on Facebook. I did participate in the National Novel Writing Month event where you have 30 days to finish a 50,000 word novel. I reached my goal in 7 fun filled days. Now I'm thinking I'll try to write a novel every week. Starting today; I'm writing one (50,000 + word) book a week! Exercise daily! Get the garden going! Start back to blogging! Start back to podcasting! Learn guitar! Learn hypnosis! Paint more! Build projects! Start acting workshop back up and MAKE MOVIES!!! We can do it!!! Dexter de Cat (See above photo) was helping me write. He's a very helpful boy! He has lots of great ideas, he loves a good story with a chase, like the one about him chasing ladybugs, chasing his sister Marcelline de Cat's tail and the high tech spy thriller involving him chasing the dot of a red laser. Thanks for your continued support,Jerry You must also visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.facebook.com/thejerrylentz
http://www.miroguide.com/audio/14970
October 08, 07:11 PM
I'm touched by all the personal messages people are posting about what Steve Jobs meant to them. People that weren't even Mac users seem to get how he changed the world. I remember when people told me how they felt when Disney died, or FDR, or John Lennon, or JFK...
I was so depressed, but reading his quotes and the lovely comments from the people touch by his work has somehow filled me with a kind of joy. Isn't that strange?
I was just informed me that the assholes at the Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest at Steve Jobs's funeral. Why can't "Anonymous" do something about them?
What a GREAT time I had last night! JL2 bought a brand new mower that turned out to be 50% off!!! Couldn't believe the luck on that! Then she bought a skill saw that we've really needed! She also bought strings for the electric guitar and a cord to the amp! Oh, I had the best club sandwich I've ever had, and it was like two meals, because I ate half and got full, so into a box went the other half that became my midnight snack! It was like the best day EVER!!!
Then…
I knew the wonderful feelings I was having last night would have to be ground down and chiseled away today. I'm just not strong enough to keep trying to get along with assholes.
BTW, I spell assholes, c. u. n. t. s!
Enjoying today's chore of unfriending Conservatives, Teabaggers, Christians, Sunnis, Shias, Sikhs, Hillbillies, Meanies, Thugs, Terrorists, Gangstas, Oil Industry Employees, Banking Industry Employees, Monsanto Employees, Halliburton Employees, General Electric Employees, Publishers that ripoff writers, and people that use interns for free labor only! If you are any of these please unfriend me now!
It appears Sarah Palin might be under investigation for soliciting contributions under the guise of a possible run for the presidency when money was probably laundered through a cross-country family vacation. This might be getting good!
JK Rowling is one of over 60 people lining up to expose the truth and sue Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch's other fake news provider, the now defunct paper, "News of the World". I can't wait until Fox News also shuts down.
Two News items; Want the Good News or the Bad News first? "Male Circumcision Is Medically Beneficial, Experts Say" and "Research Reveals Oral Sex May Be Leading Cause of Mouth and Throat Cancers" Just when I thought I was getting ahead by being married, these doctors have to go shooting their mouths off and jerking me around emotionally. This News SUCKS!
YOU have to WATCH this video right NOW!!! It is life changing! Pass this on to all your friends and family!
October 08, 06:38 PM
Doing all we can to support our local Occupy Wall Street protests, i.e. Nashville and Huntsville... Even Jack De Cat got involved, but he is so lazy he wouldn't get up to do anything but chew up his little protest sign. Slacker!
Because we think ecologically and try our best to live a "Green" lifestyle and reduce are carbon footprint, we're letting our lawn grow tall and then cut it to make alcohol in my still. We burn the alcohol in the generator to make electricity. All the energy is collected in batteries that also store the power from our windmill, our watermill, our methane generator and a small amount of solar. The solar is mainly used to separate hydrogen from water. My Honda Civic will soon run on hydrogen. I'm starting to grow weed to make clothing and brownies... I forgot the rest of what I was telling you…
This is so sad... One of the people that has changed my life is so many ways has died.
October 08, 06:26 PM
When I was about 12 years old my doctors, therapists, and counselors had Mensa contact my mother for a meeting in a big house. I took some tests and then a group of people met with her and for some reason they made her upset, so we left. I never knew what happened but I believe money was involved. Now whenever I have the need for nixtamalized corn flour, I think of what could have been.
If you have a Pole Dancing Video, please send yours to Jerry Lentz to see if you can win!
For some reason I have this strange tingling feeling all over my body. I've had it for the last few days. The bed seems to be spinning. It's another night of not sleeping. I'm sure I'll be sleepy today. Please make me feel better.
October 08, 06:17 PM
This sure is frightening! Need your help! As you know, I've been watching one or more movies a day for this website. However, I don't have cable, dish, Netflix, or even a tee vee... I've been watching films online, or borrowing DVDs to watch on my MacBook. So, I need you to post a film you think I should watch that is available on the web! Make it a good one!
http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/
Look at that girl above! Did this young girl wreck the economy? Did she steal your money? Did she not pay taxes because her lawyer found a loophole? Did she foreclose on your house? Why is she being arrested for participating in her legal right to peacefully protest? Our nation's founders declared their independence on July 4, 1776, to break free of the tyranny of a nation that denied them the civil liberties that they believed all people were granted as a birthright. They reaffirmed that faith in independence from governmental tyranny with the ratification of the Bill of Rights in 1791. But Freedom cannot survive when those in power make exceptions to the First Amendment for speech they dislike or criticism they would rather not hear. FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS NOW!
Now what have those dumb shits have to say about that!
October 08, 05:59 PM
That tee vee show, "The Playboy Club" got cancelled? Dang! I didn't even get to see it? I haven't even seen the magazine in years. I picked up a couple of issues that promoted that show for something like 60¢ a few weeks back and I still haven't even looked at them.
Amanda Knox just got offered $1 Million to pose nude! What a welcome home treat! Haven't heard what magazine, yet. Anyone know?
Can you find the old Drive-In Movie Theatre you used to go to in these old newspaper ads, or hear the local radio station you used to listen to when you were young? Did you see any of these films? What's your best drive-in movie memory?
October 03, 06:33 PM
Please come and visit it online! Five beautiful acres teeming with a multitude of inspiring subjects waiting and ready to become the next global art star. Nestled upon the highest point of foggy valley and surrounded by a dark forest, bubbling creek, eerie creatures, glowing eyes, and slithering reptiles, this lil' shoppe is a factory of ideas and handmade goodness. The craftsman and artisans are never satisfied until your wonderful purchase arrives safely to your home. They are also eager and willing to provide you with custom and commissioned art work, please message us. We love to talk while we make things!
October 03, 06:21 PM
JL2 has been doing my genealogy and from that we found a long line of navy men, submariners, ship captains, and other kinds of semen...
This is my great-great-great-grand pappy who suffered from something called paraphilic infantilism, but back then they just called it, "poopy-pants," and with that he took over as cap'n of a ship and later died of dysentery on the Pacific island of Nauru.
I dunno, he looks a lot like me. Maybe I should dress up as him for Halloween.
October 01, 05:58 PM
I used to have quite a nice collection of tools! I had power tools, tools for precision work, tools for specific and delicate crafts, but when I moved I gave them all away. Why? I just thought I had no need to ever use them again. I had no idea what was just around the corner.
Now I have the space for a movie studio, so I need to build props and sets and rigs to hold lights…
I need to build frames and stretch canvases for JL2 paintings.
There's so much to do, but I haven't any tools or supplies or lumber, yet.
Feel awful today! So you know what to do; You are my medicine, make me feel better! My throat and sinuses closed up and I've been having these really horrible coughing spells. The wind has been blowing, there was a fire down the street, the field across from the house was bush-hogged... Just so many reasons for me to be inhaling particles. I even got out the Neti pot.
Please make me feel better!
ESP, JL2's 13 year old kid came in my room and said, "We saw a UFO flying over Nashville today!"
I asked her to describe it and she said, "It was round and shiny black and it reflected the ground under it."
Did you take a picture of it?
"No."
Did you have your camera?
"Yeah."
You didn't think to take a photo?
"Uh, no."
Why?
"Because mom and I both saw it with our own eyes!"
Ugh...
JL2 and ESP went yard-sailing and they got me 2 DVDs "Closer" and "In the Bedroom" 2 films I like a lot.
It was my intention to start another fast this month, but feeling this way kinda made that look like an awful idea, so JL2 made me Angel Biscuits, Chicken Salad and Grape Salad... and it was GOOOOOOD!
Oh, and for dessert Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake? Uhhhh....
OMG! I can't believe I was thinking of fasting this month!
