Shea "Stadium" Layton

21

Multnomah University
Sophmore
Pop & Lock Master

Posts

January 11, 02:37 PM
Learn - The Uplift: Happiness is a Gift

I've got a subject that has been on my mind a lot ever since I was fairly well depressed about two years ago. A lot of people talk about happiness, saying things like "happiness is a choice" and "I'm going to choose to be happy today." I'm here to express my view on happiness, and explain why I think my view is not only true, but extremely important to understand.

The best place to start would be with my depression. During my depression, I wrote a paper on the subject itself, and read a lot of depression related books. There was a large spectrum of views on the subject. Here are some of the notable ones at their most extremes. (Many people who believe these have less extreme versions. These are my summaries.)

The Pamper View: This is the view that says you have absolutely no control or responsibility over your depression. You need people to pat you on the back and remind you it isn't your fault. You'll need to get on some medications, either until it goes away, or for life.

The Choice View: This is the view that says you are in complete control of if you are depressed pr not. It is likely something you did or are doing that is causing the depression, and you need to simply stop doing whatever it is to get over the depression. Medication is an excuse to not make the decision.

The Christianese View: This is similar to the choice view, but says that the problem is that you are not trusting Jesus enough or reminding yourself of His promises and reality, and that the solution is to trust Jesus more and remind yourself of His truth and reality. (Often times people don't know where the depression comes from, but say this is the solution.)

Now let's apply these specifically to happiness (depression is a slightly different issue) because the views are close enough. Some people think when we are sad we need to be pampered, and we have no control over it. They whine a lot when they are sad. Others on the opposite end say happiness is a choice. They hide when they are sad no matter what in hopes they can be happy by focusing on it enough. One book I read on depression was titled Happiness is a Choice and specifically said that everyone who followed the process in the book with their whole heart had found success, and that the process had to do with affirming truths of Jesus. (How convenient to label those it doesn't work for as simply doing it wrong!)

The Pamper View: The problem with the Pamper view is that we DO see a choice. We see that decisions we make effect our happiness, and we (obviously) have control over those decisions. There is more than enough experience in everyday life that we have a level of control over our mood.

The Choice View: The problem with the choice view is that sadness is an indicator for us that something is wrong! Pushing things aside that make us sad is dangerous, because sadness doesn't require just "choosing" to be happy, it often requires resolution. (Plus, from a Christian view, this doesn't make sense because we wouldn't need Jesus to be happy. We would simply choose happiness and then be happy with life.)

The Christianese View: This is the harder one to tackle, because Christianese is based on scripture (but not  always its teachings, just legalism of its wordings). I could tackle this view in many ways, like showing where people in scripture are sad or called to mourn, but I think the best response is John 35:11 when "Jesus wept." Why didn't he choose to be happy? Doesn't he know His own truths? Isn't he perfect? It sounds like happiness isn't something to just be so quickly turned to.

Now, after quickly touching on these views, I present my own view, which I feel is a compromise of the truths of them all, while avoiding the discrepancies.

The Gift View: This is the idea that happiness is not found in a choice, but from realities. Happiness is drawn out of things that are true: we got a bonus check, we are just feeling naturally good, we are in love, a friend graduated, Jesus loves us, and more. Happiness is a gift that certain things gives us. Sometimes there are times when we just are overwhelmed with negative feelings, and we don't have room or ability to draw happiness out of the things around us.

It's rather like being a sponge underwater. We have good and bad water all around us, and we can focus on absorbing the good water (happiness) or the bad (sadness). Sometimes we are so surrounded by bad water that it is reasonable to be absorbing some of it (or much of it). Wringing ourselves out over and over with self talk is not going to make the bad water go away.

More often than not, we do have things to draw happiness out of, so in that way, we do have a choice. There are people who reject the gift of happiness. Still, to simply slap a label on every sadness as an issue of choice, I believe, is foolish. Like I said in response to the "choice" view, sadness is often an indicator that something is wrong! It is a gift to be sad, because we know something is bad (whether it is the situation itself, or the way we feel about it). It causes us to stop and look at a situation, and determine what is making us sad about it.

So when people say "I'm going to choose to be happy today," it usually informs me they have something to be sad about, and let's me know they are going to make an effort to ignore it. This can be like driving a car around that's breaking down, and choosing to continue driving it around, instead of stopping somewhere and getting it fixed. Driving it without fixing it will make the car worse!

Now, in clarification, I need to point out that there ARE times when simply changing our thought patters is the solution to sadness. How do we tell the difference? My answer is to figure out what the cause is. (I say often, "If the opposite of _____ is not the cause, then _____ is not the solution.") Some people are simply in a habit of dwelling on the negative things in their life, and they really need to just practice dwelling on good things instead of always looking to the bad. With relationship pains, there is often nothing to do about the painful emotions, and all that needs to happen is a person needs to work on moving past it and focusing on the good things they have.

Whatever must be done, we DO need Jesus! It's just that many times, what should be done is begun with him, but needs to be followed by more. If you don't have Him, your plans with fail. But if you only sit around "trusting" Him but not acting... I'd go as far to say you don't understand Him much at all. (Read the book of James.)

In conclusion, I think we need to spend more time thinking about why we are sad or happy, and less time "deciding" to be happy. If your friend was hurting, you wouldn't want them to fake a smile and keep damaging themselves (hopefully you don't, at least I wouldn't). So don't lie to yourself and say that your friends would rather you just smile and choose to be happy. If they do want a fake smile, they aren't your friends at all. Jesus designed us to work this way. Listen to Him and you'll succeed!

(And yes... although I think it's hilarious, I hate when people use the quote "When I get sad, I stop being sad and get awesome instead" in a serious manner.)


That's it! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any thoughts (agreements, additions, or disagreements), I would love to hear them! I love talking about important life topics :)

Music
And for today's music sampler, two very different songs!
Joshua Radin - Sunny Days (Sesame Street Theme)

December 18, 03:37 AM
Tell - How to Care at the Square

Woah! It's been a while since I blogged! I decided to post this little paper I wrote for my Experiential Learning class on here because it's a typical blog post already and has a nice little story and lesson. Hope you enjoy it!

This semester, I went with a group of friends from here at Multnomah to Pioneer Square in downtown Portland to evangelize. Our initial idea was open air preaching, and instead of preaching at people nearby, we were going to spread out as a group being preached to but that was open for people to walk up and listen.

When we arrived at the square, we found a band was playing there, drowning out most anything in the area. As an alternative, we decided to split in three groups of three and walk around Pioneer Square while praying.

After a couple of laps, myself and the two with me noticed a group of asian youth students across the street singing worship songs. We crossed the street and sang along as we walked up to the group. They had delighted expressions and held up their lyrics for us to read along. We found out after singing multiple songs that the leader of the group was a Multnomah alumni.

As we sang, I watched the people walk by and their response. With open preaching (especially preaching at people), I see a lot of people become defensive, frustrated, and unresponsive. However, the responses I saw from a group of people singing happily was smiles and nods. Even people who may have been defensive seemed forcibly softened by the melodies. Additionally, many people who were probably believers were waving and lip syncing as they walked on our side and the opposite side of the street.

After some more songs, we moved on and rode the max to another part of town. We encountered a woman who was preaching loudly at people, but with most people speeding up as we walked by. She seemed a bit too frustrated. I was kind of turned off by it, thinking there were better ways to go about what she was doing.


However, the organizer of our group decided we’d scatter around her and listen. Quickly, her demeanor changed, and she carried a more loving and peaceful attitude and message. Others stopped by and stood with us as we listened.It kind of surprised me, because this was a great response... and one I wouldn't have done myself.


I realized three things through all this. One was the power of music. Unlike just words, melodies have a way of forcing gently ideas and softening our hearts. I also saw that instead of just seeking goals like our group had, we had a valuable role in supporting other people’s goals. Lastly, I learned a lot about the general concept of being adaptable. Instead of just trying to force our plans through, or just plain giving up, we took on other roles of value and were still met with quality success.
(Also, read a fun little object lesson I wrote about Bamboo!)
December 18, 03:31 AM
Hurt - A Wave to Miss Brave
Kohai said I was good at poetry, so I decided to try and write a poem... just to vent some of the hurt right now... I hope everything I want is conveyed, and that you enjoy this piece. Comments are always appreciated.

A terribly tragedy happened today
One of my friends has gone away

Not on a trip from which she'll return
But out to those shores for which we all yearn

But now I know that she'll be fine
Still it leaves my soul a cryin'

Many a minute is filled with tears
Reflecting back on over ten years

I know that soon this sorrow shall pass
But I'll always miss that sweet little lass

Though she could be snooty and spoiled on occasion
She'd be sweet, cute and cuddly with persuasion


T'was not the way I wanted to see
So horrible the way I found her to be

I understand the need for food to live
But it just left her there whole... so hard to forgive


I find myself so filled with wrath
If I found that beast, it'd be a blood bath


She had been there so often when I was alone
Her smile is set in my mind like stone


Her name was Brave, the first we had found
Who would let us near, and would come around


Her four other siblings, grey fur fine
Now only Godzilla of these gracious feline


Still I thank God, though this pain may run deep
That I had her this moment, before He took His keep


May 17, 04:20 AM
Learn - Should We Relent to be Content?
So, it has been a while, and I really want to write about the AMAZING things God has taught me over my Lent. However, that's gonna take some time, and I have a quicker thought right now that I hope will be good to think out and share with you.


To start off, I often learn the contrasts of society. Practically everything out there has an opinion on it already. I really actually suck at forming my own from scratch. Though you may not see it, my mind usually takes opinions and compares them and looks for consistency and inconsistency. The result? Most of the lessons I learn and want to teach are contrasts to society, Christianese, and other things.

And this brings us to today's topic: Contentment.

What is contentment? It's a sense of being okay with the way things are. It is feeling satisfied about a situation. It is un-ill-will towards the status quo. It is a garden of small chicldren with... um... well... you get the idea.

We talk about contentment all the time, especially as Christians. We talk about how important it is. We pray for it. The Bible says it is valuable too!

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6


There are tons of quotes and proverbs about it.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Keoniq


"From labour health, from health contentment spring; contentment opes the source of every joy." James Beattie

So it is good right? Taking what situation we are in, what we have, and what we are called to, and being happy with them? Being satisfied?

Often, yes. But not always.

I have a friend (or had, depending on how you look at it) who keeps seeking contentment, praying for it. Yet they really aren't finding themselves content. They can't figure out why, though it is obvious to those around them. The problem is: They are not supposed to be content.

If you are lazy and dishonest, should you be content? If someone is hurting others, should you be content? If you are unsaved and an unbeliever, should you be content?

I hope it is an obvious NO! Though contentment is valuable for certain things, it is not for others. We need to not obsess over contentment as if it were an ultimate ideal!


Contentment can be a partner of happiness, but it is also the enemy of change. Sometimes things don't need or can't be changed, and that's where it comes in. However, when things need changed or a point needs made, we must be discontent and we may need to express it!

Need further proof? How about Jesus. The ultimate in discontentment. He died on the cross because He didn't like the way things were. He was unhappy with our sin and heavenly state, and so He did something about it. He loved us so much, he saw a way that was better than currently was, and changed it.


- Healthy discontentment comes out of Love.

What if we are content with the way we are? Paul was discontent with the state of the church, and he wrote them letters in order to produce change. What if he was content with their status? What if we don't seek after wisdom from God like it says in James 1? What if we are content with our sin?

- Healthy contentment is not an enemy of change.

We should be content with things that are healthy as-is. When contentment gets in the way of things, it is unhealthy. God's plans are always right, and thus should always be contented with. Still, a lot of times we think we know His plan when we don't, and a major problem is that we don't keep open to the possibility that we may need to be discontent.

- Healthy contentment doesn't get in the way of considering needed discontentment and our error.

Discontentment is a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it is our attitude, and can be when we often need prayerful help for peace. Other times it is our action, or another's actions. Discontentment helps remind us to check ourselves, and this is why we shouldn't stop considering things when we are content with them.


- Healthy contentment is achieved after finding what is wrong with a situation through our discontentment.

The best way I can sum it up is this, which I say often when people bring up contentment:
"Be content at what you can't change, and discontent with what you can."

We can't change the past. We can't change what is right and wrong. We can't change God's plans (though we can effect how they are worked out). We CAN change our attitudes. We CAN change our actions. We CAN change our open-mindedness.

Contentment is wonderful. It's a blessing that we can often find in the Lord for dealing with stressful situations. Even when we act, we often need contentment in the fact that we have to change things. However, we can not treat it as a pure and ultimate ideal. It can be unhealthy and destructive if used wrongly. The only thing that should be taken as far as possible is love.

...sadly, my friend has put me in a place where I can not longer input into their life. This is part of the problem that is hurting them, as they have done this to multiple people. Yet they deny that this is the wrong decision, but are still are unsuccessfully grasping for contentment. I only wish they were open enough to see what is happening. I miss them.
March 13, 02:32 PM
Learn - The Gain of Pain

Some people do what they want, inconsiderate of God.
Some people ask God to help them do what they want.
Some ask what God wants, but still may not be willing.
Some people ask God with a willing and sincere heart.

I asked God over and over for some help, and He didn't answer and didn't answer. I hurt... I was in so much pain... and yet heard nothing. But near my breaking point, God finally told me the answer. It was something I would have done, too... Why did He wait so long to tell me?

The problem was that... I wouldn't have taken it to heart.  The answer... would not have changed my character. If I had heard it before, I would have been glad, agreed, and practiced it a bit, but would have eventually forgotten. It would have been some ink stamping a simple answer on top of my heart.

However, the pain... it softened my heart. It made it go from a rock to play dough. And when God finally stamped down the answer... It sunk to my core. I wont forget. I don't just know, I understand. This hasn't changed my knowledge, it has changed who I am.

It's difficult to deal with this fact... that no matter what, the solution may be just sitting in pain. I thought that, as long as I was willing to act upon an answer, there would be no reason for God not to tell me what He wanted. Yet God wants not a changed act, he wants a changed heart.

Some people ask God with a willing and sincere heart, ready for the pain it will take to hear the answer.

March 02, 09:21 PM
Learn - A Higher Desire

Here's my first "life lesson" related blog post. This is something that God taught me last year, and I've been refining it more and more since then. It's a very important aspect to a lot of other concepts I believe, and so it's a good place to start!

We all have desires. It's difficult to distinguish what we are supposed to do with them, but we know they are there. The Bible talks about nature, flesh, sin, temptation, denial of self, and a variety of other subjects that can be hard to put our finger on and work with. Yet without desire, we'd be stale and actionless. All action is a combination of ability and desire. If either ability or desire is gone, then nothing happens.

Ability + Desire = Action

Galatians 5:17 discusses both the negative desires of the flesh, and the positive desires of the Spirit, so there's obviously both good an bad possibilities. There are multiple verses in Proverbs (37:4, 13:19, 11:23, 10:24) speaking not only positively about desire, but saying that God will fulfill it (under conditions) and that "the desire of the righteous ends only in good."

Now, where does this desire come from? Do we just spontaneously generate desires when we are born? They just form out of nowhere? Some secular sources say society creates them... but of course, society is made up of people, and they have to have a source for their desires ;) I think our desires come from God. Where else?

Now wait just a minute (those of you jumping to what could be a logical conclusion). "If it comes from God, how come I can not have what I desire all the time?" You have to factor in our ability to pervert what God has given us. Our free will gives us the power (that we regularly use) to abuse the wonderful creation and selves God gave us. This creates a simple philosophy of desire; there are two kinds of desire:
1. Good, pure, wholesome desire that God plans to fulfill.
2. Perverted version of our healthy desires, usually resulting from impatience and selfishness.

I believe that every desire we have, God plans to fill somehow. He wants to give us what we want! (There's biblical evidence in Proverbs shown above and elsewhere for this.) But what sin does is allows us to try and fulfill these desires in our own way and our own time. Did we ever do something that we didn't desire? We soon generate new desires from these good desires.

Pre-marital sex is an abuse of a gift God wanted us to have. Stealing is giving into our desire to possess material (which is normal and natural) in a way that doesn't reflect God's character. When we lie, it's an abuse of our freedom to express ourselves (thus perverting truth), usually as a way to gain something we were not yet meant to have. Some desires will not be fulfilled until heaven!

Now, what this means is that we do need to relinquish our will to God. We don't destroy our desires. We don't abandon ourselves. We live who we are, who God created us to be, in His way and His timing. Looking at what we want, what we desire, what we are passionate about, is a key to learning what God has planned for us! We just need to use prayer, counsel, and scripture in this search so that we don't run the risk of misidentifying a desire as from God.

This also emphasizes the importance of patience! How many sins are based on the fact that we just wont wait? God's got a plan to leave us fulfilled, if we'll be patient, seek Him, and let him do it!

From here, I'd usually start talking about how I think, in our pursuit of "denial of self", we miss out on what I believe to be the biblical idea of Christian Humanism. But we'll save that for some other time ;)

(I have not read the book Journey of Desire by John Eldridge, but it is about this same idea. I own it and do want to read it soon, haha.)

Music
I want to share the music I'm listening to while I write these. I love music, I love its emotion, I love the message that the melodies convey, and I love sharing this part of myself with my friends.

Beirut is awesome! My friend David was playing it in the Cafe, and I had to find out who it was. I'll spare you a ton of links, but here are some of my favorites! LISTEN TO THEM!!!
Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)
Postcards from Italy
The Concubine

My Family's Role in the World Revolution

March 02, 11:38 AM
See - As I Stand Worshiping

I've decided to start off with something I "saw" during an all-worship chapel here at school. I don't like calling it a "vision" or anything, but I do think that this image that I more "felt" than saw is something God showed me. I doubt it will sound near as good written as opposed to when I speak it, but I'm considering presenting this (and a few others like it) for the Sankofa event here at school.

As I write this here, it's written fresh out of my mind from my memory of it. Envision it with me.

As I Stand Worshiping
As I stand worshiping, arms raised to Christ, I see my body there in armor. I'm wearing an armor with elaborate designs on it. Yet this armor, obviously of previous glory, is dirty and damaged. It's color is faded, and it's full of deep gashes. This armor has protected me.

As I stand worshiping, in the armor, Jesus comes along. He looks at the armor and reaches out to it, feeling each damaged area. In His eyes is a spark of creativity; I can see in them that He sees the value, the good work, and the potential in the armor. He goes the straps of my breastplate, gently unbinding them and releasing each one. He carefully removes each piece of armor, setting them aside.

As I stand worshiping, Jesus removing the armor, I see the wounds. This armor, beyond me and a gift from Him, was placed on me to protect me. It served its purpose well, but it doesn't protect everything. Some of the blows to the armor had pierced inside. My body has wounds from where the attacks had gone through.

As I stand worshiping, wounded to the core, Jesus begins to hug me. He wraps His arms around me, with an embrace both gentle yet strong; the grasp you can not escape, the grasp you would never want to escape. As He holds me, the wounds slowly heal.

As I stand worshiping, wounds healed by Jesus, I see what has happened. The wounds are healed; scars remain. I wont forget what I learned from those wounds, and I'll be stronger from them. Yet I am healed. I am free from the bondage of the mistakes and suffering in my life.

As I stand worshiping, enjoying my relief, Jesus prepares me. He brings something to me, new armor. This is like the armor He removed. It is covered in glorious images and patterns. It glistens in the light. It was made just for me. He gently places each piece against my body, and pulls the straps around, tightening them to a snug fit.

As I stand worshiping, prepared by Jesus, I see myself ready. I know I am strong from the battles I have fought before. I know I can rely on Jesus. I know he has put things in place to protect me. I know he will restore me again. I am ready.

As I stand worshiping, ready, Jesus sends me out. Now that I am renewed, Jesus send me back out into the world. I lower my arms, the image fades... the armor is figurative... but the work is real. I am refreshed.

Oh wow. I just started writing, and the pattern formed. The  formula, switching between myself and Jesus, formed. He acts>I see>I know. I'm so glad I wrote this out! I hope you enjoyed reading it!

March 02, 07:38 PM
Welcome to the Stadium!

Hey there!

So if you know my sleep habits, you know I'm an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. But I slept from 6:30PM to 10:30PM, and now I'm pulling an all-nighter, haha. It's 2AM, and after catching up on the blogs of friends, I realized I need to make my own. I've had blogs before (search "jacfalcon" at your own risk), but not so much good stuff to fill one with at the time.

God teaches me things constantly: through classes, through friends, through my brain, through prayer... Some of the best lessons... through pain. I do my best to write down these lessons (you should see my rickety old notebooks), and they are constantly built upon (a main reason I haven't started this sooner). I enjoy sharing these lessons in person, fleshing them out in words. I'm a speaker, not a writer. However, I've realized it's more available to my friends in this form, and fleshing these thoughts out this way would be wise. I enjoy sharing these lessons in person, so if you ever want to learn more about what God is doing, just ask me :)

Blog content? This blog will be a mix of many things. I'll probably focus on more practical, thinking lessons (though they, of course, will contain much emotion). Once in a while, they'll be more artistic (I'm actually a good poet, and sometimes God "shows" me things). Maybe, on occasion, something fun.

Once again, if you know fairly well, you'll know I don't really have a "private life". I'm always willing to share almost anything, and will probably do that often here. Don't take the fact that I share these thoughts online lightly; many of these are deep pains of my heart, mistakes and burdens that I wrestle with often.

I'm gonna start writing my first post RIGHT NOW! I have lots of ideas, but as of yet, I have no clue what it'll be. You can follow the blog with a (free) gmail account (http://www.gmail.com), or just subscribe via email on the side, if you want to receive some kind of notification on updates.

I hope this blog can encourage you, empower you to serve others, and possibly even save you from making the same mistakes I have! Now wouldn't that be nice ;)

Being transmuted (transformed and improved) by Christ constantly,
Shea "Stadium"

Transmuting the Stadium

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