so...i thought i would do a beauty post, not like i'm an expert or anything, but i do get questions from friends etc. and i've also been on a skincare / makeup / hair craze, basically browsing through celebrity's favorite products and reading blogger's tips. below is the crummiest photo of my basics, i apologize for the terrible quality, but my dslr died...and i didn't think my inspiration would last more than 5 hours it takes to fully charge my battery. berp.
i had a very eerie dream last night. it sort of of shook up my whole day and thought process. i dreamt that i was stuck in this time warp (or maybe more so groundhog-hog-day-esque cycle) where adam was killed, and then i forced myself to die, and then eventually after a couple times of this morbid process, we figured out a way to stay together by continuing this pattern. we'd alter it a little bit every time, gaining realization that this was the only way we could be together. the amount of time it would take to understand that this was a situtation already repeated would become shorter, and the brief moments we knew we only had would be incredibly happy and fulfilling. i remember how unbearable of a feeling it was to think i would never see him again, or be with him again. i broke me so much that i wanted to die. i remember seeing his death in a slow excruciating capsule of time, packed with the biggest punch i've ever felt. and then when i died, i had never felt so much pain and relief simultaneously. what's even more strange is i knew i was dreaming the whole time, and eventually after the many cycles of life-death-life-death and experiencing that temporary time with someone between the alpha and omega, i was happy? can you be lucidly lucid?
once you have a finite understanding of time and how real it can be or end, the world around becomes more arbitrary and the people you want to spend it with becomes this vital force that is so pure in existence it's impossible to explain. the dream upset me, but i am also strangely grateful for it.
Let's take race out of this for a second. I want to remove the precedences of color of skin, or the home you grew up in, or the way you talk, or the car you drive. I just want to talk about Mr. King as a man, a man of compassion, justice, and love, and his fight for what was right and what was wrong.
MLK was powerful in every sense of the word. He was powerful in his message, his speech, in his actions, and his influence. And he understood that this kind of power was the unbridled kind that could force an entire country to face what was unjust and lead them to what was right. King could move oceans. He brought humanity. And he was just one man.
Martin Luther King had expectations. And if he could travel to the present, he would be sad to find how this power was lost to millions of individuals who kept it for themselves. Without violence but love, King was able to unveil the truth of mankind and make them see people by "the content of their character."
This isn't a remembrance of Martin Luther King Jr. as the person, but the doctrine. This is to remind everyone that humanity cannot be lost. It's in the hands of every single person. It's in your actions and in your speech. It's in your influence. "I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good."
this day, this week, this month.
- it's weird to switch showers, also it's weird to switch up morning routines
- i officially don't like carpet. it grosses me out.
- red gogi...isn't really anything. what is that flavor exactly?
- all my dreams are short term memories, when am i going to go on adventures again..
- i cannot wait for christmas. can not wait.
- i don't really need anything for christmas, i have everything i want/need snuggling in my bed right now.
- can someone suggest a new drink for me? vodka gingers are getting old.
- if the world was going to end. i don't know.
- these pictures below have nothing to do with this post. they're just nice to look at.
- and
- be curious. not judgemental.
in blogging tradition i am going to do another T-day post. here it goes:
i am thankful for...
- the most wonderful mom and dad, both have been so generous in the past years, i can't thank them enough.
- my brother who has honorably joined the navy, so proud!
- my chartreuse flannel sheets (that soak up adam's nasy bed sweat)
- all things potatoes: tater tots, french fries, baked potatoes, chips etc
- the benefit of the doubt
- couture and ankle boots
- my job (yay stability)
- huxley bear (the sweetest cutest animal friend)
- adam my soulmate and kindred spirit
- his family and how good they've been to us (and me!)
- law & order svu and house...because watching them makes me feel like i'm an authority on the subjects of law and medicine
- grace
- the hunger games series (katniss is one of my new favorite role models)
- listening to records while cleaning (secrets adam doesn't know about)
- alone time
- pbs sunday morning
- the pen tool in adobe
- ryan adams, bon iver, and the format and lyrics that speak to me
- my friends, old and new
- second, third, and fourth chances
- used paint brushes and a blank canvas
- fart jokes
- and cottonelle wipes
- giggles, snickers, and guffaws
- dark chocolate covered marshmallow you can only get during holidays
- and love.
right now i'm watching a marathon of "house" sipping wine (who am i kidding? guzzling) which followed a marathon of sex and the city episodes wondering what i'm going to do tomorrow, next week, month..year. i've also stared at this computer screen deciding between 3 different color palettes for a design for a friend and editing some photos i took last weekend. red couch. sweat pants. and a bright pink "chicago" shirt given by my dad, so worn in it has gigantic holes big enough to fit my head through.
my life has become predictable. and i wonder, am i okay with that? i think so. maybe i expect a lifestyle of exciting events and spontaneous decisions..but when i lived that for a short four months...i envied the person with a routine. a steady job, renting dvds, grabbing bagels, and cleaning on the weekend...pretty much my past few weeks. i got a new job. it's been great and now i'm just waiting for everything else to follow suit..not sure what that is exactly yet (or what that means).
this is my saturday.