I love being in a world where your network of skilled and brilliant friends, become relevant and necessary.

I find more and more, having the plethora of skills in your back-pocket and outsourcing to people you like and trust, is key.

In a startup, we have an in-house team but we also work with skilled consultants because we believe you can’t do 50 things amazingly (even though dammit, I try). It’s nice relying on people who are proficient in their niche, and most of all, we know them.

I find myself referring to friends and their services all the time.

One thing I’ve noticed is that few people have done something after the project is completed that have really impressed me. One recent consultant I had referred, did an incredible job, got the job done efficiently, her rate was competitive yet fair and at the end of the project, I found a gift certificate to Whole Foods in my inbox just as a “thanks.”

I was really impressed and touched. Because it was for business (not a favor) I was surprised by the gesture especially because I don’t assume something is necessary to be given back in return. Nonetheless, here I am writing about it unsolicited. I will recommend her to anyone (over and over) and I am touched by the kindness because it’s good business.

As a consultant side-hustler myself, I once did a last minute side project for a good friend. I would gladly do it without charging because it was for a good friend, but she paid me promptly and they also provided me with a gift certificate to my favorite spot in Boulder. I honestly said neither were necessary, but they respected my time and work, and without question just insisted on the provisions. My image of their business and work is very much intact and it felt like an equal exchange.

Both these stories show people who just think through things as a whole. They’re small gestures, and I agree, not always necessary but really set them above others.

I believe this completely applies to personal and professional relationships. You get what you give and without the necessity of bribing or going over the top, showing your appreciation or support can benefit both parties.

How do you show yours?

Snow day! I’m also so excited for Superbowl not so much for the football, but for the food. Yes, I just said that. It’s the second biggest food holiday of the year after Thanksgiving.

• Ophelia’s Webb: All You Need Is Love Series (Volume III) Elisa’s incredible series is on its third round. I participated in the first one and have always loved it.
• Flavorwire: 10 Albums You Need To Hear In February
• Simply Zesty: 5 Case Studies Of Brands Using Niche Social Sites (And Why You Should Too)
• Life is Like a Box of Chocolates: Lost and Floating On the Open Sea I know this is something we can all relate to at various points in our life.

I tag things on Delicious like it’s my job (please oh please, stay around Delicious).

One of my favorite tags are the online, fill-a-need, tools that I discover (and usually use). As a startup chica myself, I want to share the love.

In no particular order is a list of tools – plugins – applications (that I may or my not use, but either way I love them and a friend has likely recommended them):

• accompl.sh – develop, track and accomplish your goals
• betterment.com – invest the smart, simple way
• canvaspop.com – allows you to print any photos (think Instagram) to canvas
• barkbox.com – make your best friend happy, a once-a-month box of goodies for your pup
• postcardontherun.com – send real postcards from your phone
• stylate.com – reasonably priced brand packages for startups
• vizify.com/tweetsheet – your Twitter activity as an instant infographic
• cakehealth.com – the best free way to manage your healthcare expenses
• loosecubes.com – find shared office space by the day or month
• turningart.com – rotate artwork in your home or office
• redbutler.com – a personal assistant and concierge for professionals
• urbandig.com – off the beaten path experiences
• 7shifts.com – online employee scheduling for your staff
• themanregistry.com – gift registry for men
• tripit.com – travel itinerary and planner
• foodspotting.com – find and recommend dishes, not just restaurants
• occipital.com/360/app – realtime panorama creation
• hashtagmom.com – add #mom to your check-in, she gets an automated call or text, she knows you got there safe
• trello.com – a collaboration tool that organizes your projects into boards.

That’s my latest list. I tried to add the non-obvious (e.g. Twitter). There are more and as I find them, I’ll include another roundup.

Here’s to geeking out!

Tonight I’m going to the first ever WINTER concert at Red Rocks. Normally they close in the winter and host absolutely epic concerts throughout the summer in their outside venue. They’ve decided to try something different and it sold out. It’s with Atmosphere and Common and Common is one of my favorite original artists since I was bee-bopping to his soulful hip-hop in middle school. We all have many sides don’t we? What are you doing this weekend?

• Twitter Chat Schedule: Have you seen this? This is an all encompassing list of total Twitter chats and hashtags. Useful.
• The Rumpus: Transformation and Transcendence: The Power of Female Friendship One of my favorite things I read all week. A beautifully, raw description of a group of women, their story, their heartbreak and lives
• CNN Tech: 50 New Tech Tools You Should Know About
• Reuters: Facebook’s newest frontiers: inside the car I wonder if this trend will continue? Facebook now being built into systems for Mercedes
• What Would the Internet Do? http://www.wwtid.com/

My blogging friend Mehnaz, wrote a post in response to my 2012 year of saying no, where her year is to say yes more.  I love how we all have different needs and pieces we want to work on. Makes me feel alive and diverse.

I know, it seems negative but this year, I am learning to say no.

I almost always say yes. It is excruciatingly hard for me to say no, moreso in personal relationships and requests, not so much business. My mom or boyfriend would joke, I’m great at saying no but that’s not the kind of opinionated no I’m talking about.

It’s when feelings are involved, it’s requests, favors and let me make your inconvenience mine (at a high level of repetition).

A true no doesn’t include making up an excuse or if I actually have an obligation, so I have to say no.

When I don’t have the capacity, I don’t want to, I can’t or I just am not up to it – those are true no’s.

I pride myself on giving and being helpful. I want that to be part of my life, forever. However, I resent the fact that I begin resenting situations or people, when their asking becomes an assumption, not a request. When their asking becomes so regular, you don’t remember not being asked. I feel drained if it’s take, take, take and I find sometimes, that what I begin giving back isn’t wholehearted or out of the goodness of my heart.

I still will say yes more than no.

I know that.

But I also know that I will feel empowered by speaking my truth and by just saying no, when I simply cannot.

I am scared because in general, we, as humans, don’t react well to no. More often than not, we request something from someone expecting them to give it, just assuming the no won’t be there.

It’s true.

I also recognize, that people come to expect me as the “Yes, whatever you need,” type-of-gal. I will still be reliable. If I say “No, I don’t think I can this time,” once every six months to someone that’s still reliable. There are just circumstances that don’t always align and the notion of asking, is that you are truly asking with a chance they may not be able to and it has nothing to do personally with you.

Those are my fears. Loud and clear.

More and more I find the need to exercise the no in my life. I barely have 30 minutes truly to myself these days and I find, with time to give back where and when I truly can and want to, it will be better for everyone.

Here’s to the no, opening up your life and allowing you to give back in the most honest way.

How do you say no in your life?

I wish there was a blog post in between last week’s Friday Linky Love and this one, but there isn’t. It’s part of the game. The words haven’t been there but I know they’ll come and go, so thank you for still being here. On that note, I do love these other stories and ideas so I’ll share those that do have the words.

• Positively Positive: The Anatomy of an Epiphany
• Giant Step: Pepsi and Pandora Provide Exclusive Grammy Content to Fans
• Stratejoy: Some Lovely Things To Shift Your Perspective
• Letters Of Note: I Know What Love Is

Happy Friday everyone!

Here are some goodies to send you off into the weekend.

• Mail Online: PLUS Model Magazine’s Katya Zharkova Cover Highlights Body Image In the Fashion Industry
• Mine Life with Life After College: Life After College Roadmap [INFOGRAPHIC]
• Just a Titch: Be Kind Online
• accompl.sh: After my resolutions post this week, my friend Tara shared this goals site. Interesting. Anyone else use it?

And thanks to Cirque Du Mot for including me in her list of marketers to follow!

As January 1 usually rolls around, I’m coming off a food + family + travel + holiday high (also tiredness) and along with that, I see a multitude of tweets and posts lamenting about resolutions for the New Year and how silly they are.

I actually disagree. I think that resolutions, challenges and goals are important. The part I disagree with is only doing them on New Years. I like to set quarterly goals throughout the year and my birthday, in particular, is “my” new year and beginning. Stepping back is what really helps me look back and forward.

We were up in the snowy mountains snuggled at Amazing Grace cafe writing our resolutions this New Years. The man and I.

Maybe the people who lament are the ones who can never keep goals? I think I know the feeling.

I’m all about progression and I’m the type of person when I write pen to paper and say them out loud, they are resounding. But here’s the thing. I set some hefty goals for myself this year.

I won 40 days of free yoga at one of my favorite yoga studios here and I wanted to start that January 1 and go at least 4 times a week for 40 days (even more if I could). I cut out gluten for the month of January (health testing) and I setup individual and professional goals as well.

On day 10, I feel good without gluten. I have to be conscious of everything I choose to eat (or not) and it’s definitely hard. I’m not the type to “limit” myself. I admit, I’m such an indulgent and spontaneous personality type that the idea of cutting something out, is HARD.

On the yoga, my first week, I put in 4 days and felt great. This week already, looks like it’s falling to shambles with no time to fit in yoga and I’m angry. At myself.

I hate feeling guilty. Guilt is wasteful. But I do. I feel somewhat like a failure.

Then I took a step back and realized, there is absolutely no point in punishing myself.

Each day is a new day. The resolutions are guidelines and visions for ourselves, but we just may not make or hit them each time. That is okay. I repeat, Grace, that is okay.

What’s the point in beating ourselves up? None.

So here’s to more yoga and less gluten and less guilt and more happiness.

Do you struggle with making goals? What’s something you’re so proud of and stuck with?

And after a few week hiatus from Friday Linky Love, I’m back. I have never taken a two week break like that from blogging and it felt great. I still love to share and blogging is a big piece of my life (personally and professionally) but it’s just as smart to take some time away, even from the things you love. Space.

• Feed the Pig: [INFOGRAPHIC for Gen Y] Discussing why Gen Y could and should save more and the stats around it!
• Sortable: Take the pain out of buying. Sorts by price, features, etc.
• The New York Times: The Joy of Quiet
• The Daily Love: Life Only Sucks If You Do (Bring The Radness)

Oh happy Friday!