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- Apr 26, 13
- Jan 11, 12
Snow fell in a blanketing white out of freezing ashes from the black abyss that wrapped itself around the world that night. Black and white were the only options down to the details, leaving no room for nuance or complexity. Only blunt questions that came with answers too bleak, detached and chilling to think about asking another. The blue lights marking emergency phones, the green of a traffic light in the distance, the red brake lights of cars, the paranoid yellow of the lights lining the walkway. Black and white. Everything only black and white. And nothing else.
The campus of Stapleton University was deserted. It was a weeknight. Getting late. Midterms were going on. The main quad, referred to by students as the Front Lawn, seemed to sprawl outward from the main library, especially that night, forever. The iconic library building, on the cover of all Stapleton brochures, quickly faded into nothing in the immediate past. And walkways of the vast Front Lawn offered no attainable future.
Valerie Bristol was walking home that evening in a black and white present with no resolution.
Though she tried, her hands couldn’t be forced any further down into the pockets of her long wool coat. Passing a row of empty wooden benches, she brought her head back down after a quick glance up to confirm her direction. Gusts of wind whipped across her face and she winced as snowflakes melted around her eyes. There were no sounds aside from wind blowing through trees and snow crunching under foot. Windows of surrounding dorms and lecture halls produced faint, barely noticeable glows. (Glassy open wounds left untreated in the otherwise impenetrable austerity of looming brick façades adds a withdrawn quality to an already disapproving, intimidating atmosphere, suffocating students, teachers and visitors alike in a particularly insidious culture of higher learning that implies permanent injury and a life of holding bitter grudges. It is the physical manifestation of centuries old, unresolved genius and the campus thus feels like a trap that is to be escaped and survived and any honest edification or self-improvement is purely coincidental bordering on accidental and the ability to ignore these threatening feelings comes at the price of any ambitions you might have, yielding an entirely different, yet objectively more troubling, set of problems.)
She continued her numb, beaten down trudge through the Front Lawn, across the street past the various shops and eateries that lined the main drag on Atlantic Avenue, down several blocks of poorly lit back streets comprising fairly shoddy housing mostly for hip undergrads, then the snobbish Greek section of well landscaped monuments to old money legacies and secret societies, then a reprise of even shoddier housing for starving but still hip (even hipper?) undergrads and Stapleton holdovers not ready or able to leave the place, and finally, quite suddenly, in fact, to a freshly gentrified, well lit mirage of new apartment buildings just beyond the last gasps of the unrefined, woeful dirge of students too academic or juvenile for their own good.
Upon entering her building, Valerie stopped in the doorway, waiting for the feeling to return to her face. Without exchanging a word, a man behind the front desk handed her a stack of mail as she passed. Valerie flipped through it on the elevator ride up to the fifth floor. She walked very slowly down the hall and around a corner, fumbling to find her keys when she reached her apartment door. She walked in.
Her apartment felt warm and she instantly felt much better. Valerie dropped her bag and her coat on the couch in the living room and went to the kitchen for a quick sip of water from a bottle she left in the fridge. It was dark, but the excess of light struggling to make it down the hall from the master bedroom was enough to see that the apartment had at last received a long overdue round of cleaning. And the job appeared thorough. It came as a refreshing surprise to Valerie who breathed in a lovely scent of lemon and inspected the unfamiliar new vase which held a collection of fresh tulips on the coffee table.
Walking into the bedroom, she pulled off a cashmere sweater and tossed it on a chair. The only light source in the room was a lamp stationed on the dresser in the corner. The daily mail in this home typically occupied a spot on the kitchen counter, but as Valerie had forgotten to drop it there on her way in, probably distracted by how clean everything was, she flipped through it one more time very quickly, return addresses not registering, took a deep breath, moved all the envelopes to one hand and raised it slightly to drop the stack of meaningless post at a height sufficient to make a satisfying thud on the desk below, the long awaited period on what had been an especially trying and exhausting run-on sentence of a day.
But just then.
A voice from behind her.
“I’ve been cheating on you.”
Valerie froze in position for several moments, then finally let the mail drop down to the desk.
She exhaled and rubbed her eyes.
Turning around, she continued to avoid eye contact with the girl sitting on the bed. Valerie gently stepped out of her shoes and walked to the dresser to take out her earrings while looking in the mirror. She cleared her throat and asked, “So, um…what time did you want to be at the gallery tonight? How soon do you think we should leave? Weather is pretty awful out there tonight so traffic shouldn’t be too bad, but I’m sure finding a close place to park is going to be murder because it always is every time we go there so I think we should take a cab. What do you think?” A long silence. “Have you been outside today? It’s nuts. Hasn’t stopped snowing for a second. But still, though,” she retrieved a dress in a plastic dry cleaner bag from the nearby open closet, “I think I’m going to wear this. What do you think?” Another long silence. “I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since lunch. I went to that new café in west campus next to the rec center and they made me the worst Cobb salad in history. I only had like three bites. So do you want to stop somewhere on the way or did you already…”
The girl behind her jumped off the bed and stomped toward her. Grabbing Valerie by the neck from behind, she pulled her head back and snarled into her ear, “Did you hear what the fuck I just said to you?”
Valerie pried the hand off her neck. “Let go of me, Rachael.” Breathing deeply and massaging her neck, Valerie turned to her girlfriend with a glare and asked, as calmly as she could, “Did you go to work today, sweetie? You didn’t answer my texts.”
Rachael stood up straighter and put a meaner look on her face.
Valerie stepped closer and whispered, “I’m glad you’re talking to me again,” trying to reach out and touch her.
Rachael slapped her hand away. She growled, “How long do you think you can keep this up?”
“What do you mean?”
“DON’T,” Rachael shouted, catching herself in the process of making a move for Valerie’s neck again. The burst of rage was so sudden and intense that it actually surprised them both and Rachael had to laugh briefly into her hastily retracted claw of a hand. After taking time to try getting back down to a good level, Rachael continued with an evened tone, “Don’t…talk to me in that fucking baby voice. You’re 26. I’m 25. Can I please talk to my adult girlfriend right now? Please?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“My adult…girlfriend…,” Rachael’s breathing was getting heavier as she stared into Valerie’s eyes, “The scholar…the grad student…my perfect…beautiful…brilliant…,” she ran out of descriptors to mumble to herself while she again had to pull her hands back in, stopping a tentative series of slight gestures that seemed to be about wanting to adjust something about the way Valerie looked. More deep breaths. She still was not at that good level. The frantic look in her eyes was the dawning realization that she would not be getting there this evening. Keeping herself at a somewhat manageable level for the duration of this talk was now all she could hope for. And hope was all she could do. This sort of thing was always out of her hands.
“Rachael, what’s the matter? Just talk to me. I’ve been worrying about you for days. I want to know what’s on your mind.”
Dropping her arms to her sides, Rachael replied, “I just told you what was on my mind, didn’t I?”
Valerie looked away, the deeply forlorn expression landing hard on her face and her shoulders. “Yeah.” She couldn’t find the right place to fix her gaze around the room, so she simply pushed out words to dismiss the metastasizing dread. The only words she had at the moment. “Why? Why are you telling me this now? Why do we have to have this discussion tonight?”
“Because,” Rachael said through gritted teeth.
An even heavier burden of hopelessness sank down on Valerie, dropping her head to look straight down. She closed her eyes and waited, each passing second of silence more dangerous than the last as fear exponentially tightened its grip on her heart. “Is it because we’re going to see her tonight?”
“God.” Rachael shook her head. “You’re pathetic.” She put her hands on her hips. “You make me sick. Honestly. Sometimes, Valerie, I’m not sure I don’t hate you. I thought pushing you away and ignoring you for almost a week now would send the message. But look at you. You either still aren’t getting it or you don’t care. Jesus, I really can’t stand the fucking sight of you anymore.” Rachael bites down hard on her lower lip, waiting for some kind of response. Waiting as long as she could before her very limited complement of patience had been spent. She screamed at full volume, “LOOK AT ME!”
Valerie remained perfectly still.
Rachael hissed her demand again, then hit Valerie hard under the chin to force her head up. Shocked, Valerie held her line of vision where it had ended up somewhere on the ceiling just beyond the leggy blonde standing two feet away from her. She then reluctantly lowered her head to achieve eye contact. Too afraid to make any other move or say anything, Valerie truly studied her partner.
No one else alive had an angry stare as menacing, as penetrating, as overwhelmingly hateful as Rachael Margaret Mercer. In moments like these, that girl was looking at you from another world. She went to a dark, dark place that was authentically frightening to even try to think about. That evening, Rachael was wearing for the first time a red cocktail dress that was given to her as a birthday present and made specifically for her by a very famous fashion designer who is one of the biggest names in the business. The dress, if it were for sale on that night, would be outrageously expensive. It had the very real potential, however, to someday be considered priceless. Rachael was planning on going out on a muddy, slushy, snowy evening in an irreplaceable Kennedy Carteret original. As a middle aged industry titan, Carteret was notoriously reclusive and almost never made clothes with her own hands and that dress could quite possibly have been the last one she did in her life. Valerie was not particularly interested in fashion and only knew what Rachael had taught her about the subject, but she knew enough to understand that this creature of pure malicious loathing and poor impulse control was wearing a bona fide work of art and a relic of pop culture history that rightfully belonged in a display case never to be removed. Just because she could.
“Talk to me, Valerie. Please. And don’t just say shit. I’ve got no use for that. I want you to really tell me something. Okay? That’s what I need from you, honey. I know you can do it. I need you to seriously fucking give me something right now or I’m going to lose it.”
Valerie swallowed hard and took a step back, still holding a very worried expression that she couldn’t shake. “Rachael, there is nothing I can say that will stop you from freaking out and you…”
“Yes, there is! Valerie, yes, there is. I am not going to…”
“…and you know it! You know it, Rachael. These goddamn fights always happen the same way. And you never…”
“No! No, no, no. Valerie, shut up. This is not a fucking fight. I’m just trying to talk to you.”
“You never listen to me. It doesn’t matter what I say. You just want to talk at me. So go ahead. Get it all out.”
“Valerie, goddammit,” Rachael balled her fists at her sides, “You are so full of shit and you don’t know what it does to me when you act like this.”
“I’m not acting like anything.”
“You FUCKING…,” Rachael stepped closer to Valerie and loomed over her in a very imposing manner.
Valerie, in her strongest tone of the evening at that point, asked, “What are you gonna do? Hit me?”
Rachael’s eyes widened as she slowly inhaled a deep breath, caught off guard, but trying not to gasp. She unclenched her fists and smoothed the sides of her dress. In a newly uncovered meek, somewhat nervous voice, Rachael said, “I’m just trying to talk to you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“YES, I AM,” Rachael yelled.
“I can’t do what you want me to do right now. Okay? You want to have a scene and I can’t give you a goddamned scene. You want me to act like I had no fucking idea about you and Annivette, but you barely even did it behind my back! You gave me hints every chance you got! You made it as obvious as you could, Rachael. You gave me time to get used to it. You let me get used to sleeping alone a couple times a week and not needing to ask why. You let me get used to feeling like an idiot in public with everybody whispering about how clueless and naïve I must be. You let me get used to the idea that you were about to fucking LEAVE ME. I have nowhere to go and no one else in this goddamned town to help me with something like this. And for a month and a half, you’ve made me constantly feel like we’ll be finished at any moment and I’ll be on my fucking own and there’s NOTHING I would be able to do about it.” There’s a long pause during which they glare at each other without blinking. “A month. And a HALF, Rachael. You deliberately let me get used to knowing you were cheating on me. And now, what, you want me to FUCKING ACT SURPRISED?”
Rachael shook her head and furrowed her brow. “Why…Valerie, why…why would you want to just get used to something like that?”
“I was trying not to think about it. I don’t know. I was hoping it would just…go away. That it would just stop.”
For about a full minute, Rachael stood and stared, mouth slightly agape at Valerie. Finally, she muttered, “I don’t believe it. I don’t…I don’t know what kind of person you are.” Genuine disgust dripped from her words.
“I’m in love with you. That’s what kind of person I am. Don’t you love me?”
Rachael snickered and shook her head. “Come on. We need to leave soon,” she said, walking past Valerie toward the closet.
“What? Rachael…”
“That’s all for tonight, Valerie. That’s all I can take.” She turned on a light in the closet.
“But I thought you wanted to talk. I’m trying my best to…”
“I said that’s enough, Valerie.”
“Why?”
“Because, Valerie, you’ve got NOTHING TO SAY and I have FUCKING had it with you.” Rachael threw down the dress she was holding and stormed toward Valerie again, getting in her face. As Rachael screamed, Valerie recoiled away, forced to slowly walk backward. “How many times are we going to have this same fucking discussion before you finally understand what it’s about? Huh? I’m fucking SICK of it and I know you’re sick of it, too. It’s no fun and when you’re like this, YOU’RE no fun.” Valerie nearly stumbles when she backs into the desk chair. Rachael continues, emphasizing points with aggressive hand motions. “And that’s why we’re doing this, right? That’s why we’re together. This is supposed to be fun. We…Valerie, you and I…are supposed to be having fun.” She wheezes out a crazed, angry laugh through gritted teeth. “So let’s have fun tonight. Okay? We’re doing something YOU want to do for a change. So get ready and try to see if you can fucking smile tonight. When you’re in public, sweetheart, you forget that people see you. And when you look miserable and frumpy it reflects poorly on me. I’ve explained this to you several times before. It’s inconsiderate and selfish. Do you understand?” Valerie has her back against a wall, her head turned away slightly in fear. Rachael leans in and gently nibbles on Valerie’s earlobe, then whispers, “Think about what I said tonight. Okay?” Valerie doesn’t respond and after quickly losing patience for waiting, Rachael punches the wall, just missing Valerie’s head. Pulling Valerie’s hair and forcing the eye contact she hadn’t been getting, Rachael growled, “Don’t slouch, stop mumbling, and fucking LOOK at me when I’m talking to you. A little dignity, Valerie. A little self-respect. I’m trying to help you.” Rachael slammed Valerie’s head against the wall and walked away.
For the next several minutes, Valerie watched Rachael get ready to go out from a crumpled position on the floor in the corner of their room.
- Oct 21, 11
Hello, everyone! My name’s Chloe and I’ll be taking you through a series of brief interviews with the characters of Jeremy Hurd’s novels. I never cherish going to Hyde Park as that place gives me the creeps, but I wanted to catch up with one of No Night‘s real mysteries, Eve Canady. She has been receiving care at Hyde Park Mental Health Rehabilitation Center for years now and she wasn’t looking particularly good. Her doctors instructed me to speak slowly, try to keep the topics as positive as possible, and that if Evelyn ever broke eye contact, then she wasn’t listening.
QUESTION: Hello, Evelyn. How are you doing today?
EVELYN CANADY: I’m…very good. Thank you.
Q: Do you remember me? From No Night And No Day?
EC: Yes.
(I got the sense that she didn’t really mean that.)
Q: My name’s Chloe.
EC: I know. I remember you.
Q: Oh, good.
EC: Is…Jeremy here, too?
Q: No, he’s not. He’s very busy working on another story.
EC: He is? With who?
Q: Well, I probably shouldn’t…
EC: Rachael?
Q: She will be in it, yes.
EC: (Nods, looks away) Good. That’s good.
Q: In No Night And No Day, it’s implied that Rachael is the one who put you here, but those weren’t your words. Is that how you feel?
EC: (Looking at the wall, still nodding)
Q: Evelyn?
EC: Hm?
Q: I was just asking about…you know what, nevermind.
EC: No, go on. It was…something about No Night? How’s it doing by the way? I’ve been in here. I haven’t heard anything about it.
Q: It’s, uh…well…Jeremy’s too antisocial and lazy to promote it, so it’s only been read by negative five people.
EC: (Sighs, looks away) Oh.
Q: Yeah. But it’s out there. We’ll see. Speaking of that book, though, did you feel that…Evelyn? Are you with me?
EC: (Looks back to me) Yes, yes.
Q: Good. I was asking if you felt that you were accurately represented in No Night And No Day.
EC: I haven’t read it. The doctors won’t let me. And it’s…probably a good idea. Though I am very curious.
Q: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.
EC: But from what I assume…I mean, from what Jer told me the story was…I wish he had included a little more about my faith. My Catholicism. Throughout everything, I never lost it, you know? I still pray. With all the time I have in here, I read the bible a lot. The doctors take me to church every Sunday. You know, at St. Bethany we were taught that to be a true Catholic was to consistently do good deeds and help those around you. That if you weren’t…if you didn’t help people, that you weren’t really…you know. And I believe that. And I’ve been doing what I can around here, though a lot of these people are hard to talk to.
Q: There was a lot about Catholicism in AP.
EC: I don’t know what that is.
Q: It was his second book.
EC: Oh. (Looks away)
Q: Evelyn, do you feel like you’re getting any better? Do you think they’ll let you out of here soon? (I had to ask this three times because her attention kept drifting)
EC: Oh, I can leave any time I want. But they want me here and I…I want to stay here. (Looks down)
I was about to ask another question, but I let a really long, drawn out silence settle in and it made me realize that not only was she not listening when she broke eye contact, but I wasn’t even in the room with her anymore. When I said her name again, it significantly startled her. I tried to keep the interview going, but she only seemed interested in talking about Christianity and quoting bible verses and trying to convince me to go to Church with her some time. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. I went on the following Sunday.
NEXT TIME: Valerie Bristol
- Sep 24, 11
Hello, everyone! My name’s Chloe and I’ll be taking you through a series of brief interviews with the characters of Jeremy Hurd’s novels. You’ll remember our guest this week from No Night And No Day and AP…or at least you would if you are one of the 0% of people who have read either of them. It’s the heavily inked, hard rocking Zoë Sinclair. Let’s dish.
QUESTION: So, any new tattoos since we last saw you in AP?
ZOË SINCLAIR: Believe it or not, no. (Lights a cigarette) To be honest, nothing’s really changed that much for me since the last book. I’m still at True Til Death. I’m still with Sybil. You know. Things are quiet, I guess.
Q: That’s surprising. Because we remember you being pretty wild, especially in AP. You came off as pretty reckless, almost like you didn’t care if you got hurt or even died.
ZS: Well, Chloe, that was just one particularly crazy summer. There was a lot I was trying to ignore. I still go out, I still have fun. You know. I just got back from a tour around the country with Sybil’s band, actually. That was a lot of fun. But at home, (she sighs) it’s just, you know…Sean’s not here anymore, which sucks. And I’m still not completely over what happened to Meredith. (Pause) I mean, she should be here with me right now. Living here. If it weren’t for Sybil, things would be really dark for me.
Q: How do you feel when you hear the name Morgan Bishop?
ZS: Hm? Oh. Uh, I don’t…you know, I don’t think about her at all. I guess I should hate her, right? I mean, she killed my sister. But, no. I just don’t feel…I mean, Meredith is dead because of that town. I blame the town in general. If it wasn’t Morgan that got her, it would have been something else.
Q: So did the news of her death even surprise you?
ZS: (Long pause) (Shakes head) No.
Q: Do you keep in touch with your parents at all?
ZS: (Snorts) Yeah right.
Q: So Meredith’s passing didn’t do anything to mend the relationship you have with your mother?
ZS: Nope! (Cracks open a beer) You want one?
Q: No, th…well, actually. Sure. Why not. (Zoë gets me one from the kitchen and sits back down) Thanks. I don’t usually drink, but hey. How often am I with Zoë Sinclair?
ZS: Damn right. (We toast our cans)
Q: So you don’t even talk to your dad?
ZS: No, I do. Every now and then. We mostly e-mail. He’s cool, I guess. But my mom…Jesus. I’ve spoken to her exactly one time since I left home five years ago and it was at Meredith’s funeral. We hugged, and I tried to play nice and catch up and at least talk a little about how sad it was about Meredith. But, uh…you know…(shrugs) I guess when a parent fucking disowns you…(long drag off her cigarette)…it takes a little more than something like that to fix it. We just made small talk until she went off to talk to someone else there. Didn’t even say goodbye that day. She didn’t say much to me, but I could tell that somehow, for some fucked up reason, that crazy old broad blamed me for it.
Q: You mean for Meredith’s death?
ZS: (Nods, drinks) Yep.
Q: That’s terrible.
ZS: (Shakes her head) Nah. It doesn’t matter. My mother stopped mattering to me a long time ago. Gotta brush off people like that in your life. Even if it’s a parent. If they don’t want to be supportive, then you gotta say “fuck ‘em” and surround yourself with people who will be. I don’t really have much family left, but there is still a lot of love in my life. And no one can take that away.
Q: That’s surprisingly well-adjusted for someone from the northern suburb.
ZS: (Sits up straight, crosses her legs, affects the tone of a snooty blue blood) Well, Chloe, after all, I am a Sinclair. We’re above all that northern suburb nonsense. We stayed out of all that nasty business. It was beneath us. Undignified. (Slouches back down, snickering) Besides, don’t worry. I’m definitely, totally fucked up in lots of other ways.
Q: Like what?
ZS: Like I drink too much. (Takes another big sip of her beer)
Q: Didn’t Meredith have a drinking problem, too?
ZS: (Almost raises the can for another sip, then stops short and puts it back down) Yeah. Well. I don’t drink that much.
Q: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say you have a problem.
ZS: Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it. But you’re right, it does run in the family. (Pauses, looking at the can of beer. Finishes the can quickly and throws it near a trash can.) But don’t worry about old Zoë. I don’t…have a problem. (Keeps staring toward the beer can she just threw away)
Q: Yeah. So, anyway, Zoë, you’re the authority on music! I’ve been dying to ask who I should be listening to. What kind of stuff can you recommend for the readers out there?
ZS: (Finally looks back at me) Hm? Oh. I don’t know. There’s a lot of good stuff. (Stands up) Hey, let’s, uh…let’s go do something. Huh? It’s Friday night. What do you say?
Q: Well, I was…I mean, yeah, sure, that sounds like fun, but…I was just hoping to finish up here first.
ZS: (Already putting on a coat) That’s cool. We can keep talking. I just wanna…I wanna go out. Come on.
Q: Oh…okay. Well, where are we going?
ZS: (To herself) Goddammit. God. Dammit. I can’t find my…guh, shit. Hold on.
At this point, Zoë left to go to her bedroom where I heard her loudly searching through her things. When I stood in the doorway and attempted to finish the interview with her, she suddenly remembered a band she wanted me to hear, turned on her stereo, and started blasting punk rock. Then a lot of her friends came over and we all went out and I drank until I threw up. Never a dull moment with Zoë, I’ll give her that. We’ll have to finish the interview another time.
NEXT TIME: Evelyn Canady
- Sep 09, 11
Now that I’ve looked into it a little more thoroughly, my suspicions have been confirmed and I’m now faced with the undeniable fact that the manner in which I launched my two novels was all wrong. All. Wrong. So I’m doing what I can to play catch up and do what I can with them. Worst case scenario, they become entries in the all-important backlog. I’ll try to launch Plague in a more professional, knowledgeable way and hopefully I’ll have a little more success with it. Due date, by the way, is tentatively set for January 2012.
So yeah, I’ve been trying to blog a little here. By the way, BIG big thanks to my production assistant Chloe (just one word, like Madonna) for all of his (that’s right, his) help in conducting the character interviews. I hear he’s got some good ones coming up. Understandably, though, there’s only so much he can do for me and I’m still coming to terms with the idea that I’ll have to start really, seriously using Twitter (@eucaine) as a primary means of getting a little bit of attention. Soon I’m going to try to get some reviews for No Night and AP, though I don’t know if I’ll get many because they’ve already been released and reviewers don’t tend to like that. I’m really going to have to do some serious digging and poking around the online literary community to find people who seem like-minded; people who would be receptive to my work and the way I think. It’ll be made all the more difficult due to my extremely antisocial, insular, SHY demeanor that makes it very difficult to approach people I don’t know and to think of interesting things to tweet about on a consistent basis.
Here’s the thing that’s really impeding my progress: I don’t really have a target audience.
Literary agents who read No Night all seemed to say in their rejection letters that I had basically invented a genre – too mature for YA, too teenager oriented for the adult literary crowd. And when you’re a complete unknown, that’s not a good thing. They didn’t even TRY to make it sound like a good thing. It’s not salable. As for AP, which was the book I was immeasurably confident about, nobody requested reading that one. I guess the premise seemed too unpleasant or silly or both.
The point is, though, I don’t write with “target audiences” in mind. I kind of intended No Night for around the 17-25 age range, and AP for people in their 20s and 30s, but really any adult or adult-minded person could read my stuff. I explore a lot of general themes and there’s usually something for everyone to identify with on some level. But there’s a whole lot of cursing. And illicit drug use. And sex. And of course, graphic violence. There’s NO sentimentalism, very little comic relief, and almost never a happy ending. At the same time, though, my books are always thoughtfully written. I pour everything I have into them and if I’ve done anything right, I’ve hopefully come up with some memorable scenes, well-drawn characters, poignant moments and stories that will stick with you long after you’ve read them. Basically everything you’d look for in a good work of literary fiction, only wrapped in a package of highly stylized transgressive surrealism that can’t accurately be compared to anything else.
It’s not a good pitch.
- Aug 28, 11
Hello, everyone! My name’s Chloe and I’ll be taking you through a series of brief interviews with the characters of Jeremy Hurd’s novels. Because, you know, he’s too
lazybusy to do these himself. For our second conversation, I visited popular movie starlet Page Lockwood in her theater district loft. Her movie Austerity had been out for about a month and was enjoying all but unanimous critical acclaim.QUESTION: I just saw Austerity and absolutely loved your performance. I think you’ve got an Oscar nomination coming your way.
PAGE LOCKWOOD: Oh, thank you so much! That’s very nice of you.
Q: Yeah. This is only the second movie you’ve been in and already you’re a bona fide superstar. You’re on all sorts of magazine covers, you’ve landed some lucrative endorsement deals, and I think I saw some paparazzi on the street outside on my way in just waiting for you to come out, I guess. How have you dealt with this amount of success at such a relatively young age, and so soon in your acting career?
PL: I could try to play it cool and say it’s been no big deal, but goddamn, Chloe, this really has been moving so, so fast. I haven’t had a chance to catch up with it, to let it really sink in. If I thought about it for too long, I’d end up getting really nervous, I think.
Q: Nervous?
PL: Well, because I’m not totally sure how I ended up here. You know what I mean? It feels like it just sort of happened. And I don’t know how long it’s going to last. But, uh…
Q: You walked out on a live television interview recently when you were asked if people were only interested in you because you were close friends with Morgan Bishop back in high school. But I have to ask it again, because I think it’s a fair enough question.
PL: (Sighs) Well…
Q: Come on, Page. It’s me. Chloe. You can talk to me.
PL: (Laughs) I know, I know. Um…okay…listen. I’ll just say that the whole Morgan fascination might have been why I initially got some recognition, but I think that’s much less the case now. I think at this point people can see, especially after Austerity, that I actually…you know, that I can actually do this acting thing.
Q: Do you think residual feelings or memories about your experience with Morgan or of the awful things that happened in your hometown play a significant factor in how captivating your performances have been? You seem to be working through some authentic emotions in your movies.
PL: Um…(looks around, drums her fingers)…to be honest, Chloe, I’m sick of talking about her. You know I love you and you know I’d do anything to give Jer something good for his site or whatever, but I’m just…(long pause)…I mean, it’s the same damn thing every interview. Enough about her. I have my own life now and I’m doing my own thing.
Q: Sure. I’m sorry. I understand. Speaking of Jer, how’s it been so far on the set of Plague of Euphoria?
PL: Oh gosh, well…for lack of a better word, I guess you could call it a “set”, but it’s just my life. It’s a lot like No Night. I’m not really cognizant that it’s going on. I think I’ve only been in one scene so far. Also like No Night, I’m really only a supporting cast member.
Q: But you’re starring in the fourth book, right?
PL: That’s what he tells me. (Giggles) I think he’s calling it Dazzle. No idea why. Don’t know what to expect with that project.
Q: I’m looking forward to it! And I’m sure you’ll be great.
PL: Yeah. We’ll see.
Q: So, Page, tell me. I’ve been meaning to ask you about this for a while now. What’s it like being the only racial minority in these stories?
PL: I stick out in the middle of all these white girls, don’t I? (Laughs) Well…(deep breath)…back home, me and my family were the only black people in the entire town. It could have been worse, and my dad certainly prepared me when I was younger to deal with…you know, whatever might happen or like…
Q: What did he think would happen to you?
PL: …or like, no, I mean…like things people might say. But kids at school and everyone else around town were totally cool about it. Those people really only hate outsiders or newcomers. (Chuckles) So, the race thing really wasn’t an issue. I never thought about it. Which, I guess is good, but sometimes I feel like I should reconnect with black culture. You know, my heritage. Especially since I live an an actual CITY like Essex now, you know?
Q: Culture is all around you here.
PL: Exactly. I really want to explore this city, but it’s hard, because, well…you know. I get recognized. Essex is a hip town and I’m not the only celebrity living here by any stretch and the people here don’t want to be star-struck “fans” for the most part. (Pause, lowers her voice) But they stare. And I can’t ignore it. I can feel their eyes on my skin. I can never focus or think or relax out there around people.
Q: So you feel more isolated here than you did in the Northern Suburb.
PL: Oh, by far.
Q: You know, Jeremy’s back up there right now working on Klara’s scenes for Plague. And of course, she was also part of your clique in high school with Morgan. Do you still keep in touch with her? Because it would seem that of all people, Klara Lennox would be someone who…I’m sorry, Page? Are you all right?
PL: (Continues blank stare out the window) (Whispers) They’re always looking at me. (Long pause) I never know if it’s good or bad.
Q: What do you mean?
PL: (Sighs, drops her head in her hand) Nothing. (Pauses, fidgets) I’m sorry, I just…hadn’t thought about how…you know, you put it all in one sentence right there and I just hadn’t…
Q: Which one? Page? Are you…is there is something I can…
PL: BRIAN! (Waits) BRIAN! Goddammit, did he leave? BRIII-AAAAAN!
At this point, Page’s personal assistant, Brian (didn’t catch his last name), hurried in from another room with a high-end bottle of water, which Page waved away, reminding him that she now liked “the kind with lemon”. Brian hastily ran out to fetch the desired water, along with a list of other items Page rattled off for him. We tried to continue the interview, but Ms. Lockwood was very distant for the remainder, speaking mostly in cryptic whispers and avoiding eye contact with me.
NEXT WEEK: Zoë Sinclair
- Aug 21, 11
Hello, everyone! My name’s Chloe and I’ll be taking you through a series of brief interviews with the characters of Jeremy Hurd’s novels. This is our first one, and I was…let’s say ‘fortunate’ enough to chat with the deadliest female serial killer in history, 19 year old Jennifer Morgan Bishop from No Night And No Day and AP.
QUESTION: Hey, Morgan. Thanks so much for doing this. I mean, you know, we’re trying to get this blog off the ground, trying to generate some buzz, trying to…well, trying to sell some of these books, I guess. And I just want to say it means a lot. We really appreciate it.
MORGAN BISHOP: It’s no problem, Chloe. Anything I can do to help. Have you seen Jer lately, by the way? How does he look? I worry about him, you know.
Q: Well, you know, the whole promotion thing is kind of making him…
MB: No, I don’t know. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. I haven’t seen Jeremy since AP wrapped.
Q: Morgan, look. He’s busy, okay?
MB: Yeah, yeah. That’s what he always says. We used to be close. I mean, really close. It just sucks, you know.
Q: Well, listen, Morgan, speaking of AP, I really loved you in that. And I was wondering…
MB: (Laughs) That’s kind of an odd thing to say.
Q: What do you mean?
MB: I mean that it’s odd to tell someone, “Hey, I really loved that time you murdered 27 innocent people.”
(Awkward silence)
Q: (Clears throat) Well…Morgan…I was going to save this subject for later because it’s a little heavy for the first one of these interviews, but, uh…you used to be a little reticent to discuss your murders, but now that it’s over have you become more open about it? Do you feel any guilt?
MB: Be careful.
(Long pause)
Q: Careful…with what?
MB: Just be careful, Chloe. This is a very touchy subject.
Q: You brought it up!
MB: Just go ahead. Tell me what you were wondering about AP.
Q: Well, now it seems kind of inconsequential, but…we saw a little about your training regimen with the Sunday park scene. And I was really blown away with just how much of your time you had to dedicate to working out in order to do the things you did in that book. Can you take us through a little more of your process in terms of preparation?
MB: Well, I’m not a superhero…or a super villain for that matter. In order to get away from people and disappear as fast as I did, yeah, it took a LOT of running in the park, working out in the gym, things like that. Swam laps, stationary bike, ran, all that kind of stuff for about 8 hours a day during that summer. Then, at night, there was a lot of location scouting. You know, getting used to the area and kind of running through how I was going to do it and how I was going to get away. As they say, practice makes perfect. And I obviously couldn’t afford to be anything less than flawless. I was really obsessed with killing that summer and I must say, I turned it into an art. Authorities really had no chance against me.
Q: Wow. And during the romantic scenes with Sean, you also looked, of course, just beautiful.
MB: Well, thank you. That took a little less effort.
Q: Fair enough. Do you still think about Sean, by the way?
MB: Careful.
Q: Morgan, I think these are fair questions. The way you left in AP was kind of abrupt. Do you think about anyone from the books these days?
MB: Did Jeremy tell you to ask me that? God, that is JUST like him. He wants to know if I “miss” him or some shit before he calls me or, God forbid, visits me. You know what? You can tell him…
At this point, Ms. Bishop went on a bit of a rambling diatribe. We’ll have more with her at another time. But I’ll just say this first interview…well, it could have gone better.
NEXT WEEK: Page Lockwood
- Jun 25, 11
I know this doesn’t mean anything to anyone, but I just had to mention this on the blog. After months of stagnation with this project and coming very, extremely close to either putting it on hold or ditching it completely, I think I’ve finally figured this thing out. I totally re-structured and re-outlined Plague of Euphoria in a way I had never thought of before today and I, uh…wow, gosh…I think I finally figured out how to write this thing. Sorry, I’m a little emotional. There’s just no other feeling quite like resolving really, scary bad months long writer’s block.
- May 01, 11
OVERVIEW:
By the time City Hall spokesman Sean Delancy discovers that his new girlfriend is the serial killer responsible for the mounting death toll terrifying citizens and keeping him stammering during press conferences, he is already falling in love with her and may be in too deep to do anything but see the relationship to its natural end; regardless of what that entails.SYNOPSIS:
At 30 years old, Sean is the new Press Secretary for the mayor of a major metropolitan city. He is a meek, boyish former seminary student who lacks gravitas and doesn’t command a lot of respect with his staff. In the absence of the increasingly reclusive and eccentric Mayor Keeth, Sean is thrown into the spotlight, suddenly becoming the face of the administration during an election year. A wave of brutal murders is sweeping the city and baffling police while Sean knows exactly who they are looking for: a 19 year old girl named Morgan Bishop who has been missing from her suburban hometown for weeks, presumed to be dead.While Sean struggles to ignore what he hears about Morgan’s horrifying actions and tries to convince himself that their love is real, he routinely issues the same basic statement on behalf of City Hall whenever another dead body is found:
No new information.
Agents Provocateurs is a story richly textured in paranoia, tension and surrealism. This second installment of Jeremy Hurd’s Cry For Help series is a post-modern study of maturity, virtue, and romance. Under extreme self-imposed pressure that continually tests the limits of his meager capabilities, Sean is forced to hastily work through all of his private, shameful issues while very much in the public eye.
- Mar 30, 11
No Night And No Day is a novel consisting of five linked stories forming a layered and highly surreal, transgressive narrative with a cast of girls in their late teens and early twenties. The interactions of these characters and their stories compose a chilling tapestry of young women in free fall striving to overcome unspeakably dark situations.
This first entry in Jeremy Hurd’s Cry For Help series explores the deep power of teenage friendship, misguided methods of coping, devotion, idealization, cruel loss of innocence, and the sides of youth not always seen: sometimes beautiful, sometimes dark, sometimes both.
1 : GREEDY LITTLE PIG (Denial)
An innocent blonde ballerina named Evelyn loses her closest friend to suicide and quickly comes of age in the care of classmate Rachael Mercer, who is beautiful and popular, but may also have sinister, destructive motives.
2 : META STATIC (Anger)
The extremely tortured Jenna discovers that her missing best friend since childhood, Morgan Bishop, is still alive. She then finds it difficult to reconcile her feelings of devotion with what Morgan has become during her absence: an unrepentant serial murderer.3 : BURY ME IN THIS DRESS (Bargaining)
Lesbian punk rocker Zoe Sinclair tries as hard as she can to maintain the tough demeanor she’s known for while struggling through her first heartbreak in dangerous, irresponsible, nihilistic ways.4 : STICKS (Depression)
At age 13, Amara Mallory has an imaginary friend she’s losing control of, but needs to have in her young life. And at age 21, Mr. Sticks is still around in her adult life and Amara remains unsure of why he exists, what he really is, and why he won’t leave.5 : THE DEVIL AND MORGAN BISHOP (Acceptance)
Jennifer Morgan Bishop goes from a perfect, vivacious, beautiful, straight-A student to an unspeakably dark, bloodthirsty monster. She returns to her hometown after a summer-long killing spree and attempts to re-connect with her childhood friend, Jenna.
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Tweets
- My previous tweet reminded me of this article. http://t.co/wZYhDCVfii via @TheOnion
- IT'S ROUND ON THE END AND HIGH IN THE MIDDLE! O-H-I-O! THAT'S THE RIDDLE! #marchmadnessMar 28, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- RT @unpunctured: In my head live a vampire, an ex-ghoul, an elemental, and a one-winged angel. They're all friends... mostly. #ProblemsW ...Mar 27, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- My Top 3 #lastfm Artists: Bloodgroup (13), Waxahatchee (12) & Soldout (5) http://t.co/Ydbi8ylHxL
- Tonight's movie: Secretary (2002)
- Is it just me or is the Oscar Meyer wiener song one of the saddest, loneliest songs ever written? Think about it.Mar 24, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Tragedy incarnate. http://t.co/o8mUTIfXfD
- Rachael @maddow is smart. S-m-r-t. I mean s-m-a-r-t. "We need good artists and writers." http://t.co/O212XiPfQ7Mar 21, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I will never eat a Doritos Locos taco. This is a matter of principle and I need you to support me in this.Mar 21, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @eddie_strait oh. Thank god. For a second I thought you had the gift of the Second Sight. Who knows. You still might... #thatrhymed
- @eddie_strait So far you're 100%. If you're right about even half of your final four, I'll have to worship you as a deity.Mar 21, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @eddie_strait I just saw your bracket and it scares me to death. You could say it scared me Strait. (P.S. @scaredstrait is available)Mar 21, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @victoriaramirez I now have to defer to my dreaded 7th key to the tournament: I'M RUINED!
- The #Hoosiers are a team of destinty! http://t.co/TXHp2B3pGFMar 19, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Bloodgroup's Tracing Echoes is the newest album of the year contender for me. Really excited about finding this. https://t.co/b9YAPRTCiLMar 19, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- New cover art for No Night and No Day, courtesy of @vervor! Give it a look, give it a read! https://t.co/JqNRSi6MzPMar 18, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- My Top 3 #lastfm Artists: The Smiths (1), Morrissey (1) & Opie and Anthony (1) http://t.co/Ydbi8ylHxL
- RT @Johnny_C: Death to the clinically unimaginative.Mar 18, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Today's movie: Enter the Void (2009) The opening credits are already giving me seizures. http://t.co/gCWdG8V72lMar 16, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I also feel like being self-conscious about my brooding intensity severely undercuts my brooding intensity.
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Top ArtistsThe Lawrence ArmsThe DagonsGrimesRasputinaNew OrderSleater-KinneyWhite LungCrystal CastlesJoy DivisionShoppersThe SmithsSonic YouthConvergeWireGil Scott-HeronSiouxsie and the BansheesPurity RingUnwoundCocteau TwinsDepeche ModeThe Notorious B.I.G.Bersarin QuartettSpectraSoulThe KnifeI Am The AvalancheEMAEcho & the BunnymenTalking HeadsCursedBauhausCatherine WheelSlug GutsWhirrJay-ZActressDaft PunkMy Bloody ValentineChromaticsChelsea WolfeMax RichterSaltilloScHoolBoy QBurialAt the Drive-InLoma PrietaFaltyDLTegan and SaraThe JezabelsPlaidPzychobitch
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Posts
(Glassy open wounds left untreated in the otherwise impenetrable austerity of looming brick façades adds a withdrawn quality to an already disapproving, intimidating atmosphere, suffocating students, teachers and visitors alike in a particularly insidious culture of higher learning that implies permanent injury and a life of holding bitter grudges. It is the physical manifestation of centuries old, unresolved genius and the campus thus feels like a trap that is to be escaped and survived and any honest edification or self-improvement is purely coincidental bordering on accidental and the ability to ignore these threatening feelings comes at the price of any ambitions you might have, yielding an entirely different, yet objectively more troubling, set of problems.)
Plague of Euphoria, chapter 1.1 - Valerie describing the campus of Stapleton UniversityI won’t do a lengthy post explaining each pick this year. I only really have something to say about the top two. Resistance is Beautiful is probably the best ambient album I’ve ever heard. And that’s saying something because I listen to a lot from that genre. Just a stunning, gorgeous, timeless set of tracks that I used to lull me to sleep over the past several weeks (wish I had discovered it sooner).
And EMA. I don’t think there’s been such a definitive, clear cut #1 album of the year for me like this…possibly ever. Past Life Martyred Saints is a breathtaking work of art. An instant classic that I never got tired of listening to from beginning to end all year. And “Milkman” is probably my favorite song of the year. I don’t want to go on about it, but this disc already means a lot to me and it’s going to be inextricably tied forever to what my life was in 2011.
- Highly Recommend (New Music)
Probably the last one before the year end list.
Mistabishi - Trip (Dubstep) (One of the more interesting, engaging albums I’ve heard this year. Appears to be headed for a top 10 nod.)
Of the Wand and the Moon - The Lone Descent (Neofolk) (I was a little late to this one, but wow, it’s great)
Author - S/T (Dubstep/Jazz) (Very cool stuff here)
Prommer & Barck - Alex and the Grizzly (IDM/Dub) (Great vibe, light and airy vocals)
Näo - Näo (Electronic/Post-Rock/Experimental) (GREAT stuff…I typically find post-rock kind of boring and I try to avoid it, but the way this guy does it is really beautiful.)
The Fall - Ersatz GB (More enjoyable than I thought it would be! Mark E. Smith has still got it. “Taking Off” is just some good old fashioned post-punk from one of the masters.)
Escort - Escort (Pop!) (“Cocaine Blues”) (Catchy, fun stuff. Some of their songs have been out for a while, but I guess this is their proper LP.)
Fingers in the Noise - 3x11 (Ambient/Dub)
Contagious Orgasm - Escape (Noise/Breakbeat/Experimental)
Synkro - Stop & Think EP (Dubstep) (One of my new favorite artists)
Irrelevant - I’ll Be OK (Dubstep/UK Garage) (Very Burial-ish)
Distance - Meanstreak EP (Dubstep) (Not as brilliant as his earlier work, but still worth the time of day)
Patten - GLAQJO XAACSSO (Synth/Glitch/IDM)
Steve Hauschildt - Tragedy & Geometry (Ambient/Synth)
Sepalcure - S/T (Dubstep)
Work Drugs - Aurora Lies (Chillwave)
Lemonchill - Yourself Reality (Downtempo/Scary Goth Shit)
zxyzxy - Subclass of the Dead (Witch House/Chillwave)
Aeroc - R=B=? (Smooth IDM?)
Malvoeaux - Broken Anthem (Synth Pop)
T_Mo - World of Sound (Trip-hop)
Nikola Gala - The Woman I Love (House) (Really cool album, very glad I stumbled upon this one)
Cœur De Pirate - Blonde (French Indie Pop)Sina. - “From Love To Dust” (I got super, super excited when I saw this name pop up on my Google Reader…but sadly, it’s not SINA from Pzychobitch :( Still a cool track, though.)
Rihanna - “Talk That Talk” [Ft. Jay-Z] (Holy SHIT the new Rihanna disc has some real serious bangers. I could barely stop listening to this track this week along with “Roc Me Out” and “Where Have You Been”) - Highly Recommend (New Music)
Once again, the first four of these albums (at least) are top 10 of the year nominees.
bvdub - Resistance Is Beautiful (Stunning. Perfect. Gorgeous. New album of the year frontrunner. Reminds me a lot of Burial and in fact this album provokes a lot of of the same emotions as Untrue. THIS is what ambient music should be.)
Prurient - Time’s Arrows (Noise/Electronic)
Whirr - Distressor (Shoegaze…lovely, lovely album) (“Leave”)
Kuedo - Severant (Dubstep)
MiM0SA - Sanctuary (Dubstep)
Nebraska - Displacement (House, but very funk/groove oriented)
Dusty Kid - Beyond That Hill (House)
Black Tusk - Set the Dial (Metal)
Jenifa Mayanja - Woman Walking In The Shadows (Minimal House)
Joker - The Vision (Dubstep) (Don’t care what anyone says - I like the vocals) (“On My Mind”)
Acretongue - Strange Cargo (EBM/Scary Goth Shit)
Le Moderniste - Tohuwabohu (Noise) (Great stuff. Takes me back to around 2006 when I was really into scary black noise music. And just in time for Halloween.) - Highly Recommend (New Music)
What the fuck am I going to DO with all the amazing music that has come out in 2011? My end of year rundown is going to be intense. This may seem like a padded list, but believe it or not, this is ALL fucking gold. I wouldn’t lie to you. I wanted to cut stuff out, but I just couldn’t.
Makoto - Souled Out (Drum’n’bass with excellent vocals…reminds me of last year’s Alaska disc that I loved so well)
New Look - S/T (Dark, sultry indie pop with some fantastic female crooning…it’s everything I hoped the new Class Actress album would be and more) (“Numbers”)
Emika - S/T (Electroclash lives! Great, GREAT disc. Didn’t think I’d hear stuff quite like this again)
Skeletonwich - Forever Abomination (Metal)
Fleshgod Apocalypse - Agony (Brutal symphonic metal)
Martyn - Ghost People (Dubstep…the good kind)
Alpha Wave Movement - Myriad Stars (Reeeally really cool spacey, atmospheric, synthy electro)
Luomo - Plus (Microhouse from the master. Ladies and gentleman, give it up for the inimitable Mr. Vladislav Delay.)
Trouble Andrew - Dreams of a Troubled Man (Indie/Lo-fi)
Sixth June - Back For A Day EP (Some good old fashioned Scary Goth Shit)
The Black Dog - Liber Dogma (Electronic) (Not as amazing as I was hoping for, but still damn good)
My Brightest Diamond - All Things Will Unwind (A startling talent, never fails to disappoint…kind of like St. Vincent, but better and more interesting)
Vinyl Williams - Lemniscate (There is still some worthwhile chillwave out there!)
I Am The Avalanche - Avalanche United (Punk)
Arborea - Red Planet (Gothic folk)
Troubador Dali - Let’s Make It Right (Indie/Psychedelic)
The Blue Daisy - The Sunday Gift (Atmospheric, grimey, noisy electro with some surprisingly strong beats)
SuperVision - Telescopic (Electronic/Big Beat) (“Yes Indeedy”)
Geoffrey O’Connor - Vanity Is Forever (Surprisingly compelling 80s/New Romantic throwback stuff)
The New Division - Shadows (Surprisingly compelling 80s/Post-punk throwback stuff)
Tycho - Dive (Electronic)
Rustie - Glass Swords (Electronic)
L-vis 1990 - Neon Dreams (Electronic)
Parsha - June Kids (Sample heavy dubstep) (“Maxaw”)Darkness Falls - “Hey”
The Bell Beat - “Your Laugh”Get it all. All of it. Do it. It’s all out there. Or, you can find me on Soulseek - eucaine.
I should probably do these more often so the list doesn’t get so long. See you next time, gang.
When I began, they told me that my method was WRONG.
I knew God was on my side.
When I paint, my mind goes AWAY.
When I fall into a coma of BLACKNESS.
When I pull myself out of the dusk latitude of my failed LIFE.
The blood und pain has splattered onto the canvas and I am afforded a brief, flickering moment of HAPPINESS.Comedian Patton Oswalt in an exaggerated impression of painter William Alexander. Hits a little too close to how I feel about writing…- Highly Recommend (New Music)
A Second of June - Psychodrama (LOVE this album. “Gallery” will be one of my top 10 songs of the year.)
Shoppers - Silver Year (Noise Punk. Brilliant, brilliant noise punk.)
Maria Minerva - Cabaret Cixous (Chillwave)
Greenwood Sharps - Things Familiar (Minimal/Dubstep)
Police Academy 6 - S/T (Chillwave)
Decapitated - Carnival Is Forever (Metal)
You Love Her Coz She’s Dead - S/T (8-bit) (I’ve been waiting for this debut for two years and to be honest, it kind of disappointed me. But it’s still pretty cool.)
The Ice Choir - Demos (Actually not very new but I just found this and holy SHIT it’s fantastic. I don’t like to post DL links, but for this one I’ll make an exception. Excellent gothy synthpop.)
Sin Fang - Summer Echoes (Icelandic Indie Pop) - Just Purchased (Clothes)
The jacket I recently ordered from OakNYC arrived yesterday and as soon as I tried it on, I never wanted to take it off. I was smitten with it the second I saw it. It was one of those moments where it was like “Well, to hell with whatever I was saving for because I’m going to need this article of clothing in my life.” Like, I barely had a say in the matter. Comedian Marc Maron (whose podcast I listen to religiously) says that whenever he feels that way, he just wears it around the store for a while and gets it out of his system instead of paying for an overpriced coat he doesn’t need. Unfortunately, this cannot be done when shopping online. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because I would have shelled out almost whatever they would ask for this incredible, perfect coat. It’s amazingly comfortable, it fits just right (it appears I snagged their last size small!) and I look like I was born to wear it.
I eagerly look forward to winter.
So to sum up, my review for OakNYC’s Black Drape Front Parka would be: A+++
Oh, and I also bought this jacket from ComplexGeometries. I couldn’t resist. It was on sale. It’s super comfy and really warm. I actually learned something about myself after spending an embarrassing amount of money recently on coats/jackets: I have a serious thing for cool coats/jackets. I’m probably going to end up with a crazy collection of them. Like I really needed another weakness in my life.
- Highly Recommend (New Music)
Pictureplane - Thee Physical (New album of the year front runner)
Ghostlimb - Infrastructure (One of the best hardcore albums I’ve heard in a long time. So, so good.)
The Men - Leave Home (Interesting punky/gothy rock)
Fucked Up - David Comes to Life (Might be one of the best all around rock albums I’ve heard in recent memory; really hard to deny this album)
Instra:mental - Resolution 653 (IDM/Electro)
Kate Simko - Lights Out (Along the same IDM lines, but more understated. Very cool feel. Like it.)
MIMEO - Wigry (Spooky, experimental noise…putting the “scary” in scary goth shit)
The Death Set - Michel Poiccard (Never thought I’d hear pop-punk that was worth a damn ever again…really fun disc)
Tombs - Path of Totality (I tend to only acknowledge 2 or 3 metal albums a year, and this one is certainly on the list. Incredible stuff. Wish I’d known about them sooner.)After a slow beginning of the year, there’s suddenly way too much good music coming out in 2011.
- Highly Recommend (New Music)
Ford & Lopatin - Channel Pressure (Former Games)
Be Forest - Cold. (Shoegaze)
IceAge - New Brigade (Indie/Punk)
YACHT - Shangri-la (Indie)
Gang Gang Dance - Eye Contact (Experimental electronic)
Useless Eaters - Daily Commute (Lo-fi garage punk)
Frank Ocean - Nostalgia, Ultra (R&B)
Wild Beasts - Smother (Indie)
Com Truise - Galactic Melt (Chillwave)
Fonda - Better Days EP (Indie Pop)
Skrillex - “First of the Year (Equinox)”
Thundercat - “For Love I Come”
The Good Guys - “Kinky“ - Highly Recommend (New Music)
Katy B - On A Mission (First album of the year candidate)
FaltyDL - You Stand Uncertain
The Weeknd - House of Balloons
Cold Cave - Cherish the Light Years
Alela Diane - Alela Diane & Wild Divine - 2010 Albums of the Year
Oh. And also, there was some really good music this year…
1. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles II (allmusic)
When all is said and done, and if they keep up what they’re doing, I’m serious when I say that Crystal Castles may go down as one of, if not THE, most important electronic acts of our generation. Up there with 1990s Daft Punk. They started as merely another 8-bit oriented male/female hipster duo with a boy doing the beats and a girl hopping around on stage and shouting incoherently into a microphone. I say “merely another”, but honestly, they basically started it, and even if they didn’t, they were the first to really make it work. Ethan Kath’s beats are a perfect combination of sheer noise and infectious grooves and when they don’t make you want to dance, they make you want to move in any number of other ways. Jump. Bang your head. Pound the steering wheel. Anything. It’s music that possesses you. And it’s really something special.
Crystal Castles also took my top honors in 2008, which was, at the time, a somewhat gutsy move because they hadn’t really made that big a name for themselves. They had only just begun to dazzle festival audiences with spectacular live shows that featured energetic frontwoman Alice Glass climbing high up on speakers and shouting at them “THIS IS YOUR BAPTISM” amid seizure inducing strobe lights. But that debut album was unmistakably on to something and I knew it. With their anticipated follow-up, they’ve taken everything that worked with the debut and expanded on it and it’s a rare thing for logical progression to sound so fulfilling and exciting.
Part of me wishes that they were still basically a secret that I had more or less to myself. But I’m certainly glad that they’re doing so well and that so many people are hearing and appreciating what they’re doing. It’ll be copied many times, but it’ll never be duplicated. It’s real, honest electro and it’s ambitious and raw and inventive and unrestrained and for something like that to have the kind of mass appeal that Crystal Castles currently enjoys…well, that’s good news for all fans of electronic music.
2. Alaska - The Mesozoic Era (Magiska DL)
Wow. From start to finish, this is absolutely STUNNING drum’n’bass. A true vision that reveals something new with every listen. It flew totally under the radar for a couple of reasons. First, this isn’t a particularly popular kind of music. Second, even among people who profess to like electro, drum’n’bass is essentially considered to all be more or less the same. Alaska, with this album, goes beyond proving that to not be the case. The Mesozoic Era is atmospheric, melodic, haunting and downright beautiful without sacrificing even a little of those signature drum’n’bass hard, fast, pulsing beats. And he keeps it up for the entire length of 10 tracks. Just an outstanding, outstanding album.
3. No Kids - Judy at the Grove EP (Magiska DL)
Pitch. Perfect. Indie. Pop. That’s all there is to it. There’s nothing really innovative or mind-blowing about the music here. It’s just four tracks of bookish, melancholic ditties that really don’t demand to be noticed. And thus, by and large, they were looked over by the general public. But I absolutely wore this EP out since I discovered it around May. It hasn’t gotten old in the slightest and it truly was one of my favorite things about music in 2010.
My god it’s charming. My GOD it’s charming! I defy you to keep from tapping your foot or singing along to the gorgeous harmonies of “I Want To Be Around”. I defy you not to repeat “The Jazz Singer” several times in a row because it’s just too short. This whole EP, really, is a very well-executed expression of a vacation that ends before you can even appreciate that it began. The two tracks I just mentioned are the catchy, upbeat filling of the EP that is bookended by the two subdued, wistful tracks “At the Grove” and “In Dreamland” that resonate with simple platitudes like “What’s the use in saying spring is here? / What’s the use in saying I love you, dear?” and classic Mary J. Blige hook, “I’m searching for a real love / Someone to set my heart free.”
This feels like a lot of gushing for a basically by-the-books cute indie pop EP. But there’s just something about it that really impressed me and I know I’ll be listening to these songs for years to come.
4. How To Dress Well - Love Remains (allmusic)
This album is extremely evocative. And the fact that I really don’t know exactly what feeling it captures, but deep down I also know precisely what feeling it captures though I can’t quite articulate it, is what made this album so compelling. It reminds me a lot of Burial, not just in the way it sounds, but the way it made me feel when I first heard it. Like I fundamentally hadn’t heard anything quite like this before. Like there had been a tonnage of artists trying to achieve this sound and I was hearing someone finally get there. A beautiful achievement.
5. Oriol - Night and Day (XLR8R)
This album is a drive around the outskirts of your city as the sun is going down and you’re trying to find something to get in to. You’re making calls and nothing’s materializing yet, but you’re not worried. You know something’s going to come up and it’s going to be perfect no matter what it is.
6. Burning Love - Songs For Burning Lovers (Random blog review and DL link)
The savagely, criminally, unjustifiably underrated and under appreciated band CURSED broke up not too long ago and it was a real blow to the world of metal because they were easily one of the most talented and important groups in the genre. Their masterful album Two was my #1 album of 2005 and when they split, it really bummed me out. They parted ways after a series of harsh misfortunes and later advised simply, “Never name a band Cursed.”
The biggest part of what made CURSED such a good band was that the anger, despair and nasty intentions of their insightful lyrics was so effectively sold to the listener by Chris Colohan, who is far and away the best vocalist in metal today. His new band, Burning Love, has a slightly dirtier, more southern rock bent, but it’s still unmistakably metal and the guttural, authentically angry screams are still unmistakably Colohan. The genre is better off for having his voice and this is a great disc here.
7. Zola Jesus - STRIDULUM II (allmusic)
Zola Jesus is almost single handedly shaping and defining the future of goth music. STRIDULUM is the best thing she has done thus far in her career and recently this year she added 3 more solid tracks to it for STRIDULUM II, making it seem like a more fully realized album. Gorgeous stuff.
8. Drake - Thank Me Later (allmusic)
There goes all the underground, hipster cred this list had. Seriously, though, this album really surprised me with how good it is. There was so much hype and expectation and rappers, especially ones as young as Drake, rarely live up to it. But this kid is genuinely hungry and undeniably talented and that always makes for a formidable combination. Back in college, teen drama show Degrassi was one of my guilty pleasures and I watched it religiously. My favorite character was always Jimmy Brooks. Always looking so cool with his Triple Five Soul wardrobe, always saying something smart and mature in the midst of his peers being stupid, not giving up on his dreams even after becoming paralyzed. Drake retains a lot of that Jimmy Brooks character in the smooth, wise-beyond-his-years persona he portrays on this album and it really works. The best rappers always make you want to be like them. I always wanted to be like Jimmy. Now I kind of want to be like Drizzy.
I’m always going to tie this album to the summer of 2010. The last half of the album, starting with “Up All Night”, is all but flawless and I listened to those songs a lot while going for aimless, caffeine fueled night drives around June.
9. The Black Dog - Music For Real Airports (allmusic)
They take their name from the British euphemism for imminent doom, so it makes sense that The Black Dog’s take on Brian Eno’s 1978 classic Ambient 1: Music For Airports adds a nefarious layer of brooding atmospherics to engender a slow but palpable kind of paranoia, insecurity and anxiety. After all, this is not music for airports. This is music for real airports. It’s an ambitious, but very well done modernization of an old masterpiece.
10. Daughters - Daughters (allmusic)
I had to give a top 10 nod to this disc because these guys have always been a band I never thought much of. They were always “just okay” for me, but I always kept my eye on them because I felt like they were sort of on to something if they could focus their efforts. This album is what they were on to. They finally did it and it’s fucking great. But alas, I think I read somewhere that this is probably their last album.
Those of you who don’t have the stomach for spazzed out, noisy grindcore are still advised to give this disc a chance because here they make their sound about as accessible as it can possibly get. It’s fucking grindcore, but there are honest to god head-nodding, almost danceable grooves. But it’s still recognizably Daughters so there is also a whole lot of frantic, heavy, erratic blasts of noise. It makes for a fun listening experience and it was a very welcome surprise this year.
11. The Golden Filter - Völuspà (allmusic)
Easily the dance record of the year. This debut album from a duo of New Yorkers (I mention that because I felt like they might have been from Sweden at first…they remind in equal parts of Robyn and The Knife…not to mention their, you know, foreign looking album title) features plenty of impeccable grooves, catchy hooks and infectious bass lines. I eagerly look forward to seeing what they come up with in the future.
12. Toro Y Moi - Causers of This (XLR8R)
So this is basically just an album of the glorified Adult Swim bumper music that people began referring to as “chillwave”. But you know what? Adult Swim bumper music is fucking good. It’s always stuff like Flying Lotus and J Dilla. Nothing wrong with that. So while this may not be as innovative at it’s leading you to believe, Causers of This remains to be a very, very enjoyable and satisfying album. It flirts with hip-hop, flirts with dubstep, flirts with R&B and on the last track it even flirts a little with new jack swing and while I’ve never been a big fan of the whole “check out this hipster with an annoying pseudonym dicking around on his laptop in his bedroom” recent craze, I found it very hard to resist this album and I honestly found Causers to be very endearing.
13. The Ruby Suns - Fight Softly (allmusic)
Okay, I don’t know what happened with this one. I straight up don’t get it. When I first heard this album in like, February or whatever, I thought Pitchfork and the rest of the indie music community would cum all over it. Like they not only came all over the Animal Collective album last year, but jj and Delorean and the rest of those “balearic” acts. If you like any of those things, it seemed like Fight Softly was made for you. I suppose that hip, hip indie crowd doesn’t appreciated being directly catered to. Pricks.
But fuck ‘em. This album is fantastic. Pitchfork (who, I know, I shouldn’t care about this much but I can’t help it) actually said in their review that they preferred the idiosyncratic, somewhat experimental work that defined the Ruby Suns’ previous albums. Again, don’t get that shit for a second. To me, this album is where the Ruby Suns really found their voice and it made for an incredibly charming and impressive listen. I especially enjoyed the relatively subdued “Closet Astrologer” and “Two Humans”.
14. The Sight Below - It All Falls Apart (XLR8R)
The linked review above, I think, describes this album perfectly with the words “dazzlingly melancholy”. This is an excellent disc of ambient dub that really grew on me the more I listened. Setting this group apart from their peers is their cover of one of my favorite Joy Division songs, “New Dawn Fades”, which was surprisingly well done and which they really made their own.
15. Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (allmusic)
Like most people, I’ve been a fan of Mr. West for years now. Like most people, I think he’s unbearably pretentious. Like most people, I also understand that he’s a genius. Geniuses are often misunderstood eccentrics that don’t get the credit they deserve when they’re alive. Kanye, obviously, is mooooore than getting the credit and attention his work demands. And that’s great. This album got over-the-top positive reviews and I liked it too, but not nearly as much as those others. I’m certainly VERY glad he got back to actual rapping because 808s was total trash and I was sick of deriding him with the nickname I gave him, “Captain Autotune.”
But there’s an awful lot of intangible factors that surround this album that are essential to understanding in order for you to fully appreciate it. Understanding the pop culture icon Mr. West has become and all the public tribulations he’s gone through and blah blah blah. I never care about that kind of stuff. I only care about the product itself. Thus, I didn’t really like arguably the two most talked about tracks here, “Power” and “Runaway”. Straight up don’t like ‘em. Doesn’t matter to me how ambitious or whatever else they are.
That said, there were more than enough undeniably great hip-hop moments on this disc to make me put it this high on the list. Given the terrible album title and all the obnoxious hype surrounding its release, I expected it to be another letdown like 808s. I’ll never forget the grin that crept over my face upon listening to the first bars of the opening track. “I fantasized about this back in Chicago / Mercy mercy me that Murcielago…”
Oh, shit. Yeezy’s back.
16. Sleigh Bells - Treats (allmusic)
The youthful, energetic exuberance of this album was as hard to ignore as the thumping bass. And I mean, THUMPING. It was a lot of fun to blast this record at full volume while driving around this year.
17. Parallels - Visionaries (Magiska DL)
A contemplative, introspective synth pop album perfect for a late night drive home.
18. Twin Sister - Color Your Life (allmusic)
A very warm, inviting, domestic brand of electronic oriented indie pop.
19. Clubroot - II - MMX (allmusic)
My dubstep album of the year.
20. Abe Vigoda - Crush (allmusic)
21. The Books - The Way Out (XLR8R)
22. Grum - Heartbeats (Magiska DL)
This album is pure fun. Just great, catchy, danceable electro pop.
23. Karen Elson - The Ghost Who Walks (allmusic)
24. White Hinterland - Kairos (allmusic)
25. Actress - Splazsh (allmusic)
26. Onra - Long Distance (Magiska DL)
27. Four Tet - There Is Love In You (XLR8R)
28. Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti - Before Today (allmusic)
29. Fear of Tigers - Cossus Snufsigalonica (Last.fm)
Released in late 2009. Oops. Great electro dance album, though.
30. Mimicking Birds - Mimicking Birds (allmusic)
I don’t go for acoustic singer/songwriter stuff very often, but when I do, it basically has to sound exactly like this. Beautiful album.
31. Salem - King Night (allmusic)
The whole witch house thing is going to be over really soon. Because there really isn’t anyone that interesting doing it beyond Salem. And mayyyyyyybe 3 or 4 others, but they all have obnoxious, unpronounceable names. This was a good album, but at the same time, it didn’t feel like I was hearing anything that I really hadn’t heard before in witch house. You know?
32. Swans - My Father Will Guide Me Up A Rope To The Sky (allmusic)
I feel like I’m underrating this. I’m only just now in the process of discovering and appreciating Michael Gira and his back catalog because I’m an asshole. Give me a couple of months and I’ll probably want to bump this album higher on the list.
33. Delorean - Subiza (allmusic)
34. Shoppers - Goodbye To All That. (Tumblr / DL)
This is a really good demo from a very promising new band and I’m really looking forward to what they’re gonna do in the future.
35. Beach House - Teen Dream (allmusic)
36. The Radio Dept - Clinging to a Scheme (allmusic)
37. Caribou - Swim (allmusic)
38. Who Knew - Bits and Pieces of a Major Spectacle (Magiska DL)
39. Dum Dum Girls - I Will Be (allmusic)
40. Games - That We Can Play (allmusic)
HONORABLE MENTION:
All Saints Day - All Saints Day
Casiokids - Topp Stemning På Lokal Bar
Calories - Basic Nature
Chad Valley - Chad Valley EP
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Blacastan - Blac Sabbath
Dangers - Messy, Isn’t It?
Former Ghosts - New Love
Games - That We Can Play
James Blake - 3 EPs
Kvelertak - Kvelertak
Kylesa - Spiral Shadow
Newspeak - Sweet Light Crude
Owen Pallett - Heartland
Rasputina - Sister Kinderhook
The Samps - The Samps
Scuba - Triangulation
Sun Kil Moon - Admiral Fell Promises
Sundowner - We Chase The Waves
Trap Them - Filth Rations
Veil Veil Vanish - Change in the Neon Light
Violens - Amoral
The War On Drugs - Future Weather
White Denim - Last Day of Summer
Xenia Beliayeva - Ever Since
80kidz - Weekend Warrior - The Year In Review (2010)
I watched the fireworks go off at midnight standing by myself on the balcony of my apartment last new year’s eve. I called that place the WSA. The World’s Smallest Apartment. And for the first 3 years of my second stint living in Austin, it served me very well. I wrote three novels there. I went through a lot of ups and downs and figured a lot out about myself during my very transitional early twenties. But now I don’t live there anymore. I lost the job I had at the time around April and had to leave it.
What followed was an utterly disastrous April, May and June during which I had to stay at my dad’s place and I had absolutely no money. It hurts me to share this because it was, without a doubt, a very serious low point in my life and I contemplated doing some really bad things in the midst of being suffocated in what seemed like an unresolvable miasma of desperation and self-loathing. “Economy’s bad; lot of people going through what you’re going through right now”, my dad would remind me. I’ve never responded well to something like that. My feeling always tends to be, “Well, I’m not other people. I’m me. And this shouldn’t be happening to ME.” I’m the kind of person who always secretly thinks “Yes” whenever someone asks “Do you think the rules don’t apply to you?”
It was a very humbling summer. A very humbling, lonely, emotional, scary summer. One (count ‘em, ONE) literary agent asked to see the manuscript for the young adult novel I had recently completed. Much of that time at my dad’s place was spent praying to the god I don’t believe in for a positive response and nervously checking my email every night. Never got a response at all. Until just a few weeks ago, long past the point where I stopped caring about it. It was, as I basically expected, tantamount to “Uhhhhhhhhhh, no thanks.”
My dad and his girlfriend were fixing up the house they were letting me stay in to become a bed and breakfast. I often had to leave the house, driving around aimlessly for hours, while the contractors worked on my room. This was, unfortunately, during a rare time when I didn’t have a book project to think about and thus, a lot of my thoughts when I had to do that were aimlessly bleak, self-destructive and panicky. You see, part of the reason I write (just part, not all) is because without plot points to resolve or characters to flesh out and so on, I never find myself in a very good place mentally. It gives me something to think about. And that’s extremely important to me. When I have it, I’m treated to the revelatory summer of ‘08 when I wrote my first book, No Night and No Day. The magical summer of ‘09, when I wrote the much, MUCH better Agents Provocateurs. Both unforgettable experiences. When I don’t have it, I get the summer of 2010, which was just as unforgettable, but way in the other direction.
But I got through it. And though it was just a matter of months ago, it’s already a time in my life that I look back on and shake my head, stunned that I was able to weather the storm, dumbfounded as I wonder how I survived. I got a great new job, probably the best I’ve ever had. Despite my loud, obnoxious co-workers who my Twitter friends have heard quite a bit about over the last few months, I’m extremely comfortable here and I hope to be here for a long time. I moved in to a very cool, very nice complex with a roommate I found on Craigslist and it’s been working out very well. I’ve been taking frequent advantage of his giant HD TV, his Xbox 360 and the free internet and cable (he works for Time Warner). I’ve got plenty of space here and I’ve been spending the second half of the year with my latest project, a book I’m calling Plague of Euphoria.
Plague was supposed to be the book I came out with well after I had established myself as an author. My prestige book that I wrote to show people I wasn’t all serial killers, angsty teens and darkness. But I’m writing it now because I had no other ideas. And as I explained, I gotta have a project to work on. And, surprise, it’s giving me some problems. I’ve never been stuck on a book like this. But I’ll get through it. I know I will. I’ve made it through 2006 and 2010 and I’m still alive. And I’ll have another book to remember it by. A book that wasn’t supposed to be written under these circumstances, but hey, no one can plan what’s going to happen to them in life.
As I stood on my balcony last new year’s eve, watching the fireworks go off against the backdrop of the Austin skyline (I’m FUCKING going to miss the amazing view I had!), it felt like a real turning point in my life. It felt like things were going to change, hard work was going to pay off soon, and that my best years were just around the corner. It wasn’t just a new year, it was a new decade. And the only person standing in the way of making good things happen was me. I’m in a completely different place than I was a year ago, and this may not have been quite the 2010 I was hoping for, but after going through yet another devastating ordeal and coming out clean on the other side, that feeling of optimism remains. One of my favorite lines in my all-time favorite book, American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, comes at the end of the chapter entitled “End of the 1980s” and I think it perfectly describes where I’m at right now.
“…I feel I’m moving toward as well as away from something and anything is possible.”
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