Drew Zandonella - Stannard
Love is worrying.
A friend recently reminded me that every single person you meet grew inside of another person. Happy Mother’s Day to my gigantic network of wonderful women.
Feeling festive? You can read my piece on my two mamas over on The Hairpin.
This is just to say that this particular American Apparel dog model has won for Coolest Attitude today.
I have ordered exactly one very tasteful (and supportive) nightgown from this catalog and am now the owner of some smart fruit stickers for my spring correspondence. Is this the opposite of email marketing?
Mr. Bush might singlehandedly reverse the trend toward smaller portions, nouvelle cuisine, and low-calorie snacks. After all, when Mr. Bush expressed a taste for pork rinds, sales jumped 11 percent and he was ordained ”Skin Man of the Year” by pork-rind makers.
When I was six I had a chicken that walked backward and was in the Pathé News. I was in it too with the chicken. I was just there to assist the chicken but it was the high point in my life. Everything since has been an anticlimax.
so much depends
a foil yogurt
glazed with tongue
beside the stainless
Cool nightmare-inducing adjectives, NBC News.
I wrote about invalid cookery in Victorian-era cookbooks and my own modern convalescing for SAVEUR Magazine:
“Food is the only source of human power to work or to think,” Farmer writes. With that, I took strength from her suggested menu for a patient suffering from dilated stomach and prepared a meal of water toast. (This is not to be confused with toast water, another popular recipe of the time used to treat nausea.) Water toast involves dropping slices of dry toast in boiling salted water, quickly removing them, and then smothering them in butter On the palate, it left something to be desired (the water eliminated any crispness, to my mind the essential quality of toast), but I’ll venture to guess most would prefer it over toast water, which leaves out the bread entirely and is essentially a very sad starchy broth.
Read more here.
Autocorrect makes no mistakes in my daily conversations. Didion I have a good birthday? I Didion indeed.
- Reheat 3-day old chicken teriyaki while listening to Unwritten.
- Double down on Benadryl. Watch 10-10,000 hours of cable news.
- Click, click, click through photos of your ex-boyfriend’s baby on Facebook.
- Google “real ghost photos” whenever insomnia strikes.
- Fall asleep in a pile of dirty laundry while re-watching Terms of Endearment on Netflix.
- Listen to that Joan Osborne album your aunt bought you in 1995 with a bottle of rosé.
Today is where your book begins.
Today I turn 29 years old. You would most likely be not at all surprised to know that my outfit choice for the day is quite similar to the above style I deemed ideal for constructing towers out of VHS tapes in 1989.
While exploring old hard drives I found my final ideology critique exploring the power dynamics of Mean Girls complete with a photo timeline of Cady’s transition into “Girl World.” So really, nothing has changed except now I could have just submitted everything in GIF form.
While on AIM we try to make up for distance by making our relationship more important than it really is. He asks me my favorite word. Petrichor, I tell him. The smell of rain on dry earth. Because while I’ve never said it out loud, or used it in a sentence, had it arrive, top of mind, that is what I want it to be.
I’m tempted to top off having over a foot of my digestive system removed by enrolling in a Dengue vaccine study all in one month but I think my adventures in extreme health care are hopefully over. Sorry, Group Health.
My big gay family was featured on KPLU this morning. You can listen to us here.
Happy Easter, you guys.
We were talking about the great things
that have happened in our lifetimes;
and I said, “Oh, I suppose the moon landing
was the greatest thing that has happened
in my time.” But, of course, we were all lying.
The truth is the moon landing didn’t mean
one-tenth as much to me as one night in 1963
when we lived in a three-room flat in what once had been
the mansion of some Victorian merchant prince
(our kitchen had been a clothes closet, I’m sure),
on a street where by now nobody lived
who could afford to live anywhere else.
That night, the three of us, Claudine, Johnnie and me,
woke up at half-past four in the morning
and ate cinnamon toast together.
“Is that all?” I hear somebody ask.
Oh, but we were silly with sleepiness
and, under our windows, the street-cleaners
were working their machines and conversing in Italian, and
everything was strange without being threatening,
even the tea-kettle whistled differently
than in the daytime: it was like the feeling
you get sometimes in a country you’ve never visited
before, when the bread doesn’t taste quite the same,
the butter is a small adventure, and they put
paprika on the table instead of pepper,
except that there was nobody in this country
except the three of us, half-tipsy with the wonder
of being alive, and wholly enveloped in love.
- Alden Nowlan
Notes On Healing, So Far
- In the hospital, I dreamed that my PICC line, the long, thin IV tube running from inside my arm to just above my heart, turned into Jessica Lange wearing a bright red blazer, sitting beside me and nodding knowingly.
- The ends of my colon were reattached with silk thread.
- Every morning I put on my mother’s puffy black winter coat and shuffle once around the block, after which I feel as if I’ve been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat.
- Muslims, Unitarians, Jews, Catholic nuns, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Buddhists, all sorts of Christians, and everyone in between have offered to pray for me. Everyone but the Mormons, although I think I have my bases covered.
- A blind woman I’ve never met gave me 100 hanging origami cranes for healing.
- Sometimes people are so generous and kind that I am unable to produce any worthwhile thanks outside of wanting to type in all caps with my heart.
Paul Simon - The Obvious Child1287 plays
Lykke Li - Silver Springs (Fleetwood Mac Cover) You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you. (via courtneylewis)219784 plays
The Tallest Man on Earth - On Every Page There must be marks on every tree from the past to our home. (via elmesmascruel)179 plays
We are two marinersOur ship’s sole survivorsIn this belly of a whaleIts ribs are ceiling beamsIts guts are carpetingI guess we have some time to kill. Forget the rest of this song. These opening lines speak volumes about longterm relationships and cohabitation. The Mariner’s Revenge Song - The Decemberists0 plays
Fiona Apple - Hot Knife If I’m butter, then he’s a hot knife.180 plays
Damien Jurado - Working Titles What’s it like for you in Washington?1226 plays
Honey Honey - Thursday Night Thursday night is date night.30 plays
Leonard Cohen - Suzanne Oh Leonard, cheer up. It’s not that bad.51 plays
The Tallest Man On Earth - I Want You (Bob Dylan Cover) For romance.461 plays
First Aid Kit - Emmylou Back in 2008 I would stare wistfully out from my desk and through the open door of the office next to mine to catch a glimpse of the outside while listening to this Swedish sister-duo cover Tiger Mountain Peasant Song over and over again. I think the three of us have done quite well for ourselves since then.1213 plays
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band - Bill Cosby The chances of this existing and being authentic (it is) are so small that it gives me a certain kind of hope. If Bill Cosby can cover The Beatles live with such mumbling gusto then anything is possible. Anything.2948 plays
I first heard Etta James while buckled into my aunt’s truck during a particularly cold Seattle winter. The heat blasted as I struggled to stay awake. I was 6. NPR was playing. Saturday night jazz. Her voice was beautiful, but I couldn’t understand why she was repeating “battleaxe” over and over again. The song was At Last. In 10th grade Laura Saffioti gave me Etta James’ greatest hits for Valentine’s Day. She just understands, she explained, sitting on the dirty carpet of the theater building lobby, looking out on The Wall, where the objects of our affection wore wallet chains and pushed their greasy hair out of their eyes. I moved across the country and into my first apartment after college graduation. It was essentially a barn with no kitchen, 20 foot ceilings, and no door to the bathroom. It did, however, have a blue clawfoot bathtub. I would get home from a long day of feeling entirely inadequate and put I’d Rather Go Blind on loop while sitting in the tub. She always understood.10923 plays
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] by e.e. cummingsRead by Heath LedgerWho gave this poem to every significant other? First written on notebook paper, then maybe in a long-distance email. Maybe written in Sharpie on the origami duct-taped liner notes of a playlist passed between breathless car rides, someone’s hand on someone else’s knee or maybe just behind their headrest as one backs out of a parking lot. Maybe read at the wedding of the friend who gets married in a tiara, or gets married too young, or doesn’t know how to properly lose all faith in the human race from time to time. Who needs a good cry and a solid accented flashback on Monday morning? You? Yes, I thought so. Hit play. Here’s e.e. cummings read by Heath Ledger.97841 plays
Joe Cocker - Bye, Bye, Blackbird And with that, goodnight.51 plays
Yesterday was my dad’s birthday. He would have been 66. I can remember him at a holiday party when I was about nine, tossing back handfuls of Gardetto’s mix and telling me about the 60’s. He loved Jefferson Airplane. He once interviewed Joan Baez. This song came before that. In 1961 he was 16 and waiting to leave home. It came on the radio last night as I was heading back to my apartment.20 plays
Come Around - M.I.A. featuring Timbaland I casually put this on a mix two months ago and now it’s all there is as the late-summer afternoon stretches into evening and Monday looms in the distance. 2:49.50 plays
Ballad of Bitter Honey - Eef Barzelay Awhile back my buddy Scott donated ten bucks to have Eef Barzelay of Clem Snide play and re-record a few songs for him. This was one. That was my ass you saw bouncing Next to Ludacris It was only on screen for a second But it was kinda hard to miss And all those other hoochie skanks They ain’t got shit on me And one of Nelly’s bodyguards He totally agreed. I’ve been alternating between this, Ginuwine and Frank Ocean all day. It’s a good mix.10 plays
Animal - Javier Dunn (originally by Miike Snow) Sunday, this song is for you. Via copycats. Download over here.9145 plays
Take Off Your Sunglasses - Ezra Furman and the Harpoons “Everybody loves everybody these days.” I made a mix for the Fourth of July. This song is holding court at number two, swimming between Empire State of Mind and Get A Move On. Katy Perry’s Firework is on there, too, but only out of obligation to the holiday, you know? (via coketalk)2665 plays
From the Archives: Things Were Getting Dark Around Here Last August I’ll admit I discovered this cover before encountering the original Velvet Underground track. The whole thing is barely a cover, anyway. Like most of the tracks on this album, Chan Marshall launches into song intent on building you a seven layer dip comprised of nostalgia, heartache, insomnia, loss, longing, and empathy topped off with a last minute zest of instability. The citrus of manic depression just adds something to the dish. Trust me. I warmed the tortillas myself. After Chan’s pining and urging, The Velvet Underground’s original becomes the heart warmer on your iPod wedding playlist. Lou Reed is gently winking at your new father in law as you make slow turns around the room with your formerly betrothed. Cat Power is for coming home to someone on public transportation. A month or two before you have the big talk and one of you decides to leave. It’s raining and the bus smells like a recycled fart but there’s some good tv on that night and he’ll be in a rare happy mood. Nothing is certain but this is the song playing in your ear buds while the frayed cord makes everything sound like vinyl. Or perhaps this is the background track for when you’re scrawling your name in blood on his walls. It could be his blood. It could be yours. Perhaps you’ll have quesadillas for dinner. Be sure to add that hint of lime. Suggested listening: Alanis Morissette’s Your House. Thank goodness I’ve since perked myself up. Now go listen to this one and take a little nap, dear ones.410 plays
Grey salted. http://t.co/UaFRlCRNuc
I was just going about my business when I remembered that @MarioLopezExtra once hosted a cocktail party sponsored by @softcupsa. (cc: @Hels)
Oh just sanitizing spacey toys to suspend in Jell-O for tomorrow night's Star Trek gathering. As you… http://t.co/BYeHwpV34F
I say "bless you" to my dog every single time she sneezes. She's never once thanked me.
Photo: Because men are heavier, Yahoo. http://t.co/vE1fMFiclY
Photo: Love is worrying. http://t.co/6WuDnmd2ed
RT @nicolerichie: The key to a long lasting relationship is to wait until a man is legally bound to you before you wear harem pants
@TheGoodDeath "He found her mummified remains near a poster that parodied Rosie the Riveter. This version shows Rosie as a skeleton..."
RT @Choire: A homecoming welcome: "You look like you've been sleeping outside!" I truly won the marriage megamillions. #swoon
The man lingering in the background of Antiques Roadshow, gently rocking a redheaded babydoll.
I just help a little. @ Theo Chocolate http://t.co/YkqXBJzm2E
Family portrait with crab. http://t.co/0DH0s7699y
And so we did. http://t.co/EGhgJrZvpx
Port Townsend with my favorite women (plus Jacob). http://t.co/w6QICeUV4A
Photo: A friend recently reminded me that every single person you meet grew inside of another person. Happy... http://t.co/OItc1R1WLi