Desirée

explodingdog: I’ve got arm hurt

—-

ditto.

Despite being a teenage pop icon, she’s got some pretty good thoughts…

“To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless if walking into your freshman year of highschool at fifteen. Fearless is getting up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even though you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright… that’s fearless too…”

-Taylor Swift

psychotherapy:

Next time you find yourself in a bad mood, don’t try to put on a happy face—instead tackle a project that has been stymieing you. Melancholy might just help you hit peak performance, reports Joseph Forgas, a professor of psychology at the University of New South Wales, in the journal Australasian Science. Forgas reviewed several of his studies in which researchers induced either a good or bad mood in volunteers. Each study found that people in a bad mood performed tasks better than those in a good mood. Grumpy people paid closer attention to details, showed less gullibility, were less prone to errors of judgment and formed higher-quality, persuasive arguments than their happy counterparts. One study even supports the notion that those who show signs of either fear, anger, disgust or sadness—the four basic negative emotions—achieve stronger eyewitness recall while virtually eliminating the effect of misinformation…

soundtrack of my day/week/month

The Classic Crime - Acoustic EP - Seattle Sessions

1. Seattle
2. Blindfolded
3. The Test
4. Wake Up (Shipwreck)
5. Drink In My Hand (Live)
6. When The Time Comes
7. Far From Home

Download

creampuff:Good things

—-

i have always loved this quote.

(via)

well, are you?

what’s that? someone just finished a 20-page paper on identity development, the effects of childhood temperament on adult personality, and the role of mediators and moderators in resiliency things that you probably don’t really care about, but are actually sort of interesting?

yes… yes they did.  and that someone was me.

my randomized desktop background has managed to detect my mood and then match it.

explodingdog:

Do you have a magic jar?

every thing is going to be all right.

(via fullmoonphobic)

—-

i once wrote a 15-page paper on alexithymia in adolescents.  wikipedia’s got nothin’ on me.

Kuroshio Sea - Okinawa, Japan  
(Music: Please Don’t Go by Barcelona)

Via:f*ckyeaheyegasms:leviathanmiah

—-

I will always,always, always reblog this.

Hey you: on a some level, your problems are boring. Meaning someone else has had them. Meaning they’re not worth the perverted worship.
- John Mayer

I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.
– Marilyn Monroe

The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
– Bob Marley

We all have a secret that would break your heart if you knew what it was.
-Frank Warren

Damaged people are dangerous…they know they can survive.
– Jonathan Safran Foer

via: justneverforget

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50’s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

“Absolutely, ” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.” I’ve never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy.



2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.  A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960’s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.  She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits.  Then you came along.  Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s’ bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.”

Sincerely, 

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

“How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. 
“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. 

“Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins.

“I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left..  When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.  There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see,  he couldn’t  have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway.  Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.  Some of the King’s’ wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.  Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.  Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.  After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.  The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.



5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts…

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.  Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.  The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes  I’ll do it if it will save her.”  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away”. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

via: kristine-theceomermaid

In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb. 21-27), Superchick is offering a free download of their song, Courage, as well as posting a written account from one of the band’s members of her struggle with anorexia.

icanread:(by kairee)

back in april of ‘86, cleaning up after fingerpainting was the only thing i really had to worry about.

today is study like a gangsta day*

*aka: i-don’t-own-a-visor-and-it’s-80-degrees-out-so-i-had-to-improvise (bonus points for it unintentionally matching my swimsuit top, right?)

(via explodingdog)

gpoyw

so then there’s this…

andeventhis:

Thank you Bam Bam

sometimes when my friends are sad, i try to make them smile.

ps - they really are best heated up.

February 11 - February 14

newton faulker | all i got

All I gotta do is just hold back and wait,
But every time I try I make the same mistake,
All I gotta do is make myself relax,
All I gotta do is keep my brain on track.

—-

i am in a mood to listen to this mix.

icanread:(by ehkasi)

question via: h-kebbel

i’m so tired of alg. 2/trig… since when is it important? ugh. i’m struggling so hard in that class, learning about sine and cosine and hypotenuses and shit. i don’t even know. how does it relate to anything i like [boys, shopping, boys]?! 

[this is not really a question you have to answer… i just needed a place to vent].

—-

answer via: thebookofshane

1. Introduction to Sine, Cosine, and Tangent
When finding the measures of side and angles of right traignales, the most commonly used method is using the trigonometric functions sine, cosine, and tangent. Say you meet a guy. The three sides of a triangle are called the adjacent side, the opposite side, and the hypotenuse. Deciding which side is the opposite and which side is the adjacent depends on which angle you decide to be your central angle. With your central angle you try to find out about this guy. Starting from your central angle you can use the sine function, opposite over hypotenuse; the cosine function, adjacent over hypotenuse; or the tangent function, opposite over adjacent depending on the situation. You meet him at a Unitarian thing, but you find out he’s Baha’i; that’s as notable as a right triangle having a ninety degree angle. You meet him and notice he’s wearing nail polish; he mentions that he writes poetry. The nail polish and how open he is explaining his uncommon religion subtracted from one hundred eighty degrees tell you that his third angle is his charisma. Listening to him read his poetry satirizing hipsters definitely reinforces that. Using tangent (opposite over adjacent) and knowing his charismatic angle and his poetry side, you figure out that he reads. You talk to him about it and find out that he’s way into Milan Kundera. Using the sine function you find out that he really likes punk rock, as if his Billy Talent shirt didn’t tip you off.

2. Graphing Sine, Cosine, and Tangent
There are basic graphs of sine, cosine, and tangent. They are represented by the equations y=sin(x), y=cos(x), or y=tan(x). The sine and cosine graphs look like wavy lines; the only difference is that they start at different places on the x-axis. For the tangent graph you turn to the boy you met. You’ve been talking to him for a while. You read the poetry he sends you, and you enjoy it; he’s deep. He eventually tells you that he is involved with someone. After the initial shock, you’re okay with that; he’s more your friend than anything else. He tells you things about his life, more than you tell him about yours. He tells you about his best friend who committed suicide, how he got interested in the Baha’i faith, and all about his days. You talk about books, music, and movies. He tells you to read The Unbearable Lightness of Being; you tell him what bands you’ve discovered that week. In the tangent graph there are wavy lines, but they’re separated. The wavy lines are vertical and extend toward each other, but never touch. There’s still something to be desired from the boy you met. Asymptotes separate you, and you can feel your relationship extending in all directions, but you know exactly where it will lead. It will lead you closer to each other, but there’s still an invisible boundary between you.

3. Trigonometric Identities
It’s possible to interchange the trig functions, but there are very specific rules and formulas. They’re divided into three categories: Reciprocal Identities, Quotient Identities, and Pythagorean Identities. Using the identities, a trigonometric function is changed and it has the same meaning, but Faith blinded tangent boy. He met Faith, so did you, and you didn’t see how she could make the boy see his tangent relationship with you was nothing more than sine divided by cosine. When you graphed it out your sine graph followed the same wavy pattern of his cosine graph, but they would never align. You were separated from him by much more than an invisible line. The misalignment resulted in lack of communication. He had yet to learn the Reciprocal Identities, so he couldn’t see that all he had to do was multiply by secant and he could overlap with your sine graph.

4. Amplitude, Phase Shift, and Period
There are the basic graphs of sine, cosine, and tangent, but they can also be made more complex. All of the trigonometric graphs start from the basic graph, but can be changed depending on amplitude, phase shift, and period. Amplitude is how high the graph will go. Amplitude didn’t apply to your tangent. Your tangent relationship went to infinity and back. You didn’t need a number in front to tell you that. Phase shift changes a graph’s position on the x-axis. It’s represented by a number being added or subtracted to the x value, y=tan(x+I), y=cos(x-Faith). He has a phase shift, an epiphany as he calls it. This phase shift happens a day before your birthday, and a day before he’s planning to see you for the first time since Faith. He tells you about his phase shift, and for a second his cosine graph and your sine were perfectly aligned.

5. Restricted Domain
With Faith gone, he discovered the Reciprocal Identity and multiplied your sine and cosine relationship by secant so you could go back to tangent together. Every book you lent him and every band he recommended to you taught you more about restricted domain. With restricted domain you realized that you could plot all of your points between negative ninety degrees and positive ninety degrees on the x-axis. There would never be a value that couldn’t fit into your domain. Your wavy tangent lines merged with his. The asymptotes were there, but forgotten. They didn’t get in the way anymore.

6. Amplitude, Phase Shift, and Period Revisited
The period is really the most important part of graphing trigonometric functions. The period tells how often a graph will repeat itself. For sine and cosine the default period is 2π, or three hundred and sixty degrees, and for tangent it is just, π,or one hundred and eighty degrees. Over time you get more comfortable with the guy you met. The line you share with him straightens as your tangent graph’s period gradually shrinks.

Just as the line is almost entirely straight, the boy goes to Florida. There he undergoes another phase shift. With the period of your graph being so small, it’s easy to let another line of tangent in. He moves from your tangent line to hers and back again; he’s in a constant motion spreading himself out between the two. Wordlessly you go back to sine while he stays tangent. It doesn’t have a simple mathematical explanation, but you don’t either.

Here’s what we do need a lot more of: Tebows. Collegians who are selfless enough to choose not to spend summers poolside, but travel to impoverished countries to dispense medical care to children, as Tebow has every summer of his career. Athletes who believe in something other than themselves, and are willing to put their backbone where their mouth is. Celebrities who are self-possessed and self-controlled enough to use their wattage to advertise commitment over decadence.

You know what we really need more of? Famous guys who aren’t embarrassed to practice sexual restraint, and to say it out loud. If we had more of those, women might have fewer abortions. See, the best way to deal with unwanted pregnancy is to not get the sperm in the egg and the egg implanted to begin with, and that is an issue for men, too — and they should step up to that.

—-

Note: sports columnist, Sally Jenkins, is pro-choice.

the sun is trying it’s hardest to shine outside.

just not always the actions they partake in.

But you win some and you lose some. That’s just always how it goes. So regardless of everything else, you must always have faith in people.

(via: youarebeautiful)

Human relationships, as we know them today, are built on a “give” and “take” perception. We use each other in order to attain some sort of fulfillment in each of our lives. And although it may seem twisted that we develop these kinds of relationships, it is how we survive. We need one another, directly and indirectly. But the moment you think someone owes you anything, you become tainted with a mentality that will ultimately drive people away. Likewise, if you feel as though you owe a person something, you begin living for them. Why struggle trying to please others when all you need is yourself. So if anybody asks for an explanation or questions the very essence of your being, realize that they may never come to understand themselves as much as you have. And know that when you develop any relationship, it should grow and prosper only because you have found the balance between the “give” and “take”. This balance is a form of unconditional love; and that is what good relationships thrive on.

(via: heebeegeebees)

Hallelujah by Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris

This stirring rendition of the Leonard Cohen classic was arguably the highlight of the ‘Hope for Haiti’ telethon, making even non-fans sit up and take notice.

(via indieandyy:morningmellow:kapi)

Today marks one year that I have had loveishere.  In honor of that (and as a reminder to myself), I am reposting my first written entry.  (The first actual entry, a picture, can be found here; they were posted on the same day.)

—-

1, 2, 3 - go

This is not just a silly side project.  This is not just fancy quotes and happy songs and pretty pictures.  This is me documenting an entire way of living.

In going through my writings over the last few years, I have found them littered with themes of longing and passion, of wanting love and wanting to give love.  Through the desperation, there has always been a deep desire for something more.

I can’t possibly be alone in this.

My iTunes has songs with titles like “More Than It Seems”, “More Than Useless”, “More Than A Love Song” and “More Time.”  

There are lyrics, screaming out people’s dissatisfaction with what is and their hope for something more: 
If I could believe the dreams inside, I am capable more than it seems.
Push the urge away to wake up feeling just the same as yesterday.
I see it in your eyes, you just want to fly – so what’s stopping you, my love? 
It’s hard to believe I was cool with the days that I wasted – complacent and tasteless and bored.
There is more than we can see, from this tiny vantage point in this vast eternity.

I believe that deep down inside of each of us, we have a desire to do more, to be more, to live more and to love more.

This is where I will keep track of my attempts to do just that.  
You’re invited to join me by using the comments, email or IM links.

Listen up, I got a question here
Would anybody miss you if you disappeared?
Well your life is the song that you sing
And the whole wide world is listening

Well the answer to the question is
You were created, your life is a gift and
The lights are shining on you today, ‘cause
You got something to say

mostly because i want this to be a place where i post positive things and lately, i haven’t been feeling very positive.

in keeping with that goal, i won’t go into too much detail except to say that i’m really not doing very well and could use your thoughts and/or prayers.

let’s talk soon, k?

loveyourchaos:source unknown

(By LISA BROOKES KIFT, MFT)

People can be incredibly brave. It is hard for some to even get through the door of a therapist’s office let alone open up their most wounded parts to another soul.  I am touched by the strength of people to be able to present themselves in the ways that they do.

People can be incredibly insightful. It amazes me how wise and intuitive some are.  It’s a joy to observe and participate in this with people committed to figuring it all out and making the changes they want in their lives and relationships.

People can be incredibly resilient.The fact that people figure out strategies to survive in the ways that they do to overcome the most horrendous situations is humbling.  When everything “should” point to a life of chaos after a traumatic childhood but doesn’t – one explanation is they just “came out of the gate” that way and had tools from the onset that others don’t necessarily have.  This has been one of the most awe-inspiring lessons of all.

People all primarily want to feel accepted, connected and okay. At the end of the day, if you filter through all of the presenting issues, relationship cycles and the “process vs. content,” people really all yearn for a sense of emotional safety.

(Full Article)

thebookofshane:

Song: “Christine”
Artist: Shane Anderson

You’ve got your bruises from the bars 
One for every drink you suck in past your heart
So get in the car
And we can leave behind the wasted time you caused
Cause we’re going home

By now we’ve all heard of and probably seen the effects of the earthquake that hit Haiti this past week.  It’s been said that, as far as damages go, this is 100x more devastating than Hurricane Katrina and is the worst natural disaster in the Western Hemisphere in history.

I would like to ask for your prayers for everyone affected, but specifically for my friend, Katie.  Our parents knew each other as teens, so we’ve known each other most of our lives.  She was doing a 2-year mission trip in Haiti and was in Port-au-Prince when the earthquake hit.  The cement ceiling of the building she was in fell on her, causing a collapsed lung and crushing her leg (no broken bones, only soft tissue damage).

She was dug out after a few hours and was medevaced to Guantanimo Bay, Cuba, where emergency surgery was performed to save her leg and she is now in ICU at a hospital in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.  She is still in critical condition, but is conscious and was even able to sing a hymn at a small church service her family had in the hospital room this morning.

I think sometimes we forget how fragile life can be and it takes things hitting close to home to really stop and realize that this could all be gone in a matter of seconds.

(Talking to the crossing guard down the street after school has got out)

ME: You ever have these weeks where everything you believe is being challenged? That or maybe you just don’t want to believe in what you believe in anymore?

GUARD: I do actually. You can cross.

ME: How do you get through it?

GUARD: Go ahead, kid. Me? I don’t know. I think about what it is that’s causing the foundations of my beliefs to wobble, and then, I don’t know, I put some metaphorical rebar in it. I want to keep what I believe in.

ME: I keep thinking of that line in Casablanca. The one where Humphrey Bogart says something cynical and the Jewish freedom fighter says to him, “You know what you sound like? Like a man who’s trying to convince himself something he doesn’t believe in his heart.” That’s like my favorite line in any movie.

GUARD: Mine is, “I am big. It’s the pictures that got small” from Sunset Boulevard.

ME: That’s a really good line.

(via: marvco)

Sometimes, when I wake up feeling like Autumn, I make myself Pumpkin Oatmeal.  (I do this by adding pumpkin to regular oatmeal and then seasoning it with a little salt,  nutmeg, and cloves and a lot of cinnamon and splenda.)

What does Autumn feel like, you ask?

Autumn is a stroll through the maple trees in the park down the road,
marveling at the spectrum of colors they are turning.  
Autumn is warm scarves and cold noses.  
Autumn is the fear of death and the trust in new life.
Autumn is swinging on the swings at the elementary school, 
while the sun sets and paints a masterpiece in the sky. 
Autumn is dreading the chill of winter, 
but holding out hope for the revival of spring.  
Autumn is holding hands between sips of chai tea.  
Autumn is friendship around the fire, but it is also long walks alone. 
Autumn is letting some things fall all around you 
so that others can eventually sprout up and take their place. 

I know it’s nearly Spring, but sometimes I still wake up feeling like Autumn.

serendibity:(via loveyourchaos)

current desktop

nostalgicbliss:(via loveyourchaos)

i like this.

I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;

I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.

Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.

You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

Roy Croft, Love

tweexcore:(via f*ckyeahfluff)

—-

During my late teens/early 20’s, I worked at the Spokane Interstate Fair.  One of my jobs was as a judge’s assistant in the livestock barn.  As part of the job, I spend a lot of time with the animals.  It was then that I decided - one day I will own an Alpaca.  They are cuter than any domestic animal could ever dream of being.

today is a formspring kind of day.
(mostly because i am supposed to be doing homework.)

don’t let me down.

kari-shma:

Anna Bond Illustration | via:

if i could give myself (or you) advice at any age, it would look something like this:

• don’t let what others say affect what you believe about yourself.
• trust yourself.
• compromising a little now means you’ll regret a lot later.
• it’s okay to ask for help. when you’re wrong, admit it.
• love your family - immediate and extended - you never know when they’ll be gone.
• respect is a given, love is grown. no exceptions.
• be honest with others, but more importantly, be honest with yourself.
• life happens: accept it then appreciate it.
• change is part of growing. the sooner you learn to cope with it, the better off you’ll be.
• be careful who you give your heart to - not everyone knows it’s worth.
• beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. if you don’t see it, change your viewpoint.
• be real. people know when you’re faking. you know when you’re faking. authenticity is more meaningful than achievements.
• the point of life is this: love God, love others. learn it, live it.

Questions?

(via davidhorvitz)