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Craig
This is where you can find me.
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Recent Tracks
- I'm Not the One by The Black Keys
- The Go Getter by The Black Keys
- Sinister Kid by The Black Keys
- Ten Cent Pistol by The Black Keys
- Too Afraid to Love You by The Black Keys
- The Only One by The Black Keys
- Black Mud by The Black Keys
- She's Long Gone by The Black Keys
- Howlin' for You by The Black Keys
- Tighten Up by The Black Keys
MetricTrent Reznor and Atticus RossThe SmithsRadioheadNine Inch NailsEnnio MorriconeNick Cave & Warren EllisQueenMichael GiacchinoThe NationalThe Rolling StonesThe Chemical BrothersM83BlurThe Black KeysCliff MartinezBon IverDavid BowieColdplayBrian WilsonChildish GambinoMassive AttackGil Scott-Heron and Jamie xxLouis C.K.Jerry GoldsmithThe xxThe Ting TingsDestroyerJonny GreenwoodKaren O with Trent Reznor and Atticus RossApparatJohn MurphyJohnny CashQueen & David BowieJefferson AirplaneNenaRicky GervaisRicky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl PilkingtonHow to Destroy AngelsKavinsky & LovefoxxxBjörkElbowI Am KlootThe Dandy WarholsAlabama 3Foo FightersThe BeatlesThe Beach BoysThomas NewmanOtis Taylor- 9 plays
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- Dead Disco by Metric6 plays
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- On The Sly by Metric4 plays
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- White Gold by Metric4 plays
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Posts
LET
ME
DIE
DAMN, GIRL.
oh
wow, remember BOOKS???
oh my god who reads those anymore??????????
god i remember this
the first paragraph is the most pretentious-sounding thing in the WORLD
It was actually really nice after that. Just a selection of things that happened in 1991 and years after and it went for a few minutes
fuck books
My body is ready.
Prototype for a laterally plotted freeform 3D comic in the shape of an icosahedron.
HA! So the rumours of him chatting up January Jones at the HBO after-party were true!
So glad we got at least one picture out of the golden globes.
Brilliance.
AND ALL THE AWARDS GO TO: JANUARY JONES’S BOOBS.
January Jones.
NEVER FORGET
Jock.
Kanye + Muppets. This is the new meme. Gonna take the internet by storm. You saw it here first.
You fall in love, you lose.
By the way, I’ve got a blog.
Alison Brie (click for gifness).
Jock.
”Do either of you need medical attention?”
this part made me die laughing omg
Best character, all characters.
My favourite part was when Cogburn kicked that kid off… twice.
SO FAR
Don Draper Undone
AAAAAAAAAAAAAFDSF <3
I’m done with tumblr now
Never gonna stop posting these.
I can only aspire to write reviews this good one day.
pretties
Oh hey Hugo…
Why so Strange?
Oh. My. God.
Can’t handle it. She is so incredible. (&I need to find this magazine.)
Some people are gonna watch Tron: Legacy just by the Daft Punk soundtrack. Well, I have her.
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Tweets
- Friday, 12:52 AM. I'm watching QI. John Hodgman is in this episode. http://t.co/g2YNKyqI
- I have now completed GRAND THEFT AUTO IV, THE LOST AND DAMNED and THE BALLAD OF GAY TONY. @RockstarGames, I need GRAND THEFT AUTO V now.
- The HOUSE finale ends with all of the characters meeting up in an afterlife of their own creation. Except Kumar. He killed himself.
- GOOD GOD NEW TWITTER IS ATROCIOUS
- @emillsap “@laura_hudson: The AvX preview contains one of the most Bendisy things I have ever seen: http://t.co/YOrMkU82”
- @daniel_fidler I will start watching it again if this happens.
- @andy_sayers ... it can't be. It sounds exactly like a British person trying to do an American accent and not succeeding.
- Hey, the second season of DOLLHOUSE is starting to get pretty good. River and Wesley are in it now. One of them has an awful accent.
- JUSTIFIED has the best dialogue on TV.
- @daniel_fidler @theegreatone I want some soot sprites.
- @MrMattRobinson Or... "EAT A MORMON, DICKS!" #prop8
- There's a CORONATION STREET episode of COME DINE WITH ME. Amazing.
- Garth Ennis is writing a children's book: http://t.co/tDXMMoG4
- @JamesTheFourth Mr. Freeze is one of my top five Batman villains. I have high expectations. *shakes fist*
- Apparently I need to make more jokes about Charles Dickens, the Muppets and/or THE WIRE... now I really want a Muppets version of THE WIRE.
- Does this mean I'm now Twitter famous? http://t.co/g7d2Gu6I
- @Christosgage That moment you kneel to clean up cat vomit only to realize it's everywhere and wait a second you don't even have a cat oh god
- @ryanklindsay @elblondino Yeah, I've never really bothered with the expanded universe. There's too much stuff.
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Posts
- Feb 04, 12
29th January to 4th February
Books – 2 (4)
A Dance With Dragons (George R. R. Martin) – ****
The War For Late Night: When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy (Bill Carter) – ***Comics – 46 (167)
Action Comics #6 – **
Animal Man #6 – ****
Avengers X-Sanction #3 – *
The Boys #63 – ****
The Defenders #3 – ***
Fatale #2 – ****
Hulk #48 – ***
Invincible #88 – ****
New X-Men #114 – 126 – ****
New X-Men Annual #1 – ****
Noir – ***
The Punisher #8 – ***
Stormwatch #6 – *
Swamp Thing #6 – ****
Sweet Tooth #30 – ****
Uncanny X-Force #21 – ***
Uncanny X-Men #6 – ****
Venom #1 – 13 – ***
Winter Soldier #1 – ****
X-Factor #229 – 231 – ***Films – 4 (38)
Chronicle (2012, Josh Trank) – ****
Out of Sight (1998, Steven Soderbergh) – ****
Red Riding: 1974 (2009, Julian Jarrold) – ***
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011, Tomas Alfredson) – *****TV – 24 (178)
30 Rock 6×05 – ***
Archer 3×05 – 3×06 – ****
Dollhouse 1×00 – 1×13 – **
Fringe 4×10 – ***
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret 2×04 – ***
Justified 3×03 – *****
Luck 1×01 – ****
The Office 8×13 – ***
Parks and Recreation 4×14 – ****
Portlandia 2×04 – ***
- Feb 02, 12
Chronicle takes two recently overused film genres – the found footage and the superhero film – and combines them to produce something that may not be wholly original but is interesting and different.
Three friends – Steve (Michael B. Jordan), Andrew (Dane DeHaan) and Matt (Alex Russell) – gain the ability of telekinesis after uncovering a mysterious object in a crater one night during a party. The three become closer after the incident and begin to experiment and develop their power until they learn – the hard way – that great power comes with great responsibility.
Andrew is at the centre of the film: his father is abusive and his mother is sick and he decides to start filming all of his experiences. Andrew’s story sounds almost like the generic superhero origin but as the film continues, Andrew gets a lot darker and ceases being Peter Parker and instead becomes something… else.
The first two acts of Chronicle are the strongest due to the interaction between the three actors, who all give solid performances, particularly Michael B. Jordan, who often stole the show as Alex in Parenthood or as Wallace in The Wire. Jordan has the potential and the charisma to be a big star and I hope this film gives his career a boost.
The third act, like most superhero films, devolves into a big fight between the hero and the villain that still manages to be quite exciting despite the dodgy special effects (which are unavoidable on such a small budget). By this point the filmmakers obviously felt limited by their decision to tell the whole story through Andrew’s camera and instead show us the climactic battle through the cameras, phones and other assorted devices of everyone watching.
The majority of the film’s problems are a result of its form: Chronicle has the same problems that every found footage film has. You’ll ask yourself the usual questions – Why are they still using the camera? Who actually edited this thing? – but the film continues full steam ahead regardless (and at least there was an actual valid reason for why Andrew started to film everything).
Chronicle doesn’t really bring anything new to the table but it does offer an interesting perspective on two rather tired genres. It is an impressive debut feature from director Josh Trank and writer Max Landis, who are clearly both big superhero fans. I am interested to see how the two proceed from here and I hope they can tell a story like this without relying on a gimmick like found footage to sell it.
****
- Jan 28, 12
22nd January to 28th January
Comics – 23 (121)
All-Star Western #5 – ***
American Vampire #23 – ****
Aquaman #5 – ****
B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: Russia #5 – ****
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight #11 – 16 – *
Captain America and Bucky #626 – ***
Fantastic Four #602 – ****
FF #14 – ***
The Flash #5 – ***
Invincible Iron Man #512 – ***
Justice League #5 – ***
Justice League Dark #5 – ****
The Mighty Thor #10 – ***
Secret Avengers #21.1 – ****
Ultimate Comics the Ultimates #6 – ****
Voodoo #5 – ***
The Walking Dead #93 – ****
Whispers #1 – ***Films – 6 (34)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011, David Fincher) – ****
The Guard (2011, John Michael McDonagh) – ****
In Bruges (2008, Martin McDonagh) – ****
Serenity (2005, Joss Whedon) – ****
Slumdog Millionaire (2008, Danny Boyle) – ****
Winter’s Bone (2010, Debra Granik) – ****TV – 52 (152)
30 Rock 6×03 – 6×04 – ***
Alcatraz 1×03 – **
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog – ***
Firefly 1×01 – 1×14 – ****
Fringe 4×09 – ***
Game of Thrones 1×01 – 1×10 – *****
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret 2×03 – ***
Justified 3×02 – ****
Parks and Recreation 4×13 – *****
Portlandia 2×03 – ***
This Is England ’86 1×01 – 1×04 – ****
This Is England ’88 1×01 – 1×03 – ***
United States of Tara 1×01 – 1×12 – ***
- Jan 22, 12
Top film lists are the hardest kind of lists to make. Any top film list I make is temporary and this one is no exception. There’s still a bunch of films from 2011 I haven’t been able to see that could probably make it on this list but I’ve already taken too long to write this and top film lists are already boring and old so who cares. These aren’t the 10 best films of 2011 but they’re my 10 favourite and they’re listed in alphabetical order because I’m a bitch:
50/50 (Jonathan Levine)
50/50 is the only film to make me laugh and cry last year, which is a very rare but special occurrence. The scene that brought on the tears – Joseph Gordon-Levitt telling his Alzheimer’s suffering father that he loves him – is a beautiful moment and a shining example of the realism that writer Will Reiser brought to the film. My grandma died from cancer earlier in the year and I didn’t think I would be able to watch anything involving cancer or grandmothers ever again but 50/50 (which thankfully has none of the latter in it) came along and managed to make me smile through the tears.The Adventures of Tintin (Steven Spielberg)
When I was seven or eight, I dressed up as Tintin for some school dress-up thing because at that point Tintin was my favourite thing. Herge’s Adventures of Tintin were the first comics I ever read and I loved how simple but exciting they were. I feel like I’ve been waiting for a Tintin film my entire life and I’m glad that Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson are the two that decided to do it because this film was delightful. The screenplay by Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish captures the wit of the comics and the voice actors fit their characters perfectly. The animation is beautiful and extraordinary, resulting in what is perhaps the best one-shot sequence ever made.Contagion (Steven Soderbergh)
When I was seven or eight, I survived a worldwide epidemic – no, I’m just kidding – but after watching Contagion, I feel like I have. Steven Soderbergh’s film about a new and deadly virus that spreads fast and kills faster is terrifying because of how accurate and realistic it is. With a dynamic screenplay, strong direction, a great ensemble cast, killer editing and an exciting soundtrack, Contagion is a technically perfect film and the scariest thing I watched last year. You will never want to touch anything ever again.Drive (Nicolas Winding Refn)
Usually I have a problem with style over substance films (Sucker Punch, for example) but Drive transcends that problem just by being so damn cool. All Ryan Gosling (a real human being and a real hero) does in this film is chew toothpicks, wear a scorpion jacket, drive cars and kill people but by the end of the film he has somehow become the coolest superhero of 2011. Story is secondary in Drive – what makes the film so good is everything else – the subtle performances, the beautiful digital cinematography of nighttime Los Angeles and, of course, the most addictive soundtrack ever. Drive doesn’t really bring anything new to the table but what it does bring it presents in a way I’ve never really seen before. Drive hooked me within the first five minutes, making it my favourite film of 2011.The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (David Fincher)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is the reason why I am only posting this list now. I knew I couldn’t put together my top 10 until I had seen it. I have many problems with the book (and the Millennium Trilogy overall) and most of these problems are also in the film. The plot is kind of stupid and the structure is bizarre but the characters are really, really great. Lisbeth Salander has become an iconic figure, and rightly so. Anyway, David Fincher’s adaptation manages to make up for most of these problems in other ways: the beautiful, perfect cinematography and the incredible soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross stand out in particular. While I think this is probably only Fincher’s fifth best film, at the end of the day it is still a Fincher film and they are always worth watching, no matter how you feel about the source material.Kill List (Ben Wheatley)
Kill List is the Catfish of 2011. Everyone has been talking about how you have to watch this film knowing as little as possible and it will blow you away. I went into Kill List and the only thing I knew was that it was about a couple of hitmen and yes, it blew me away. I’m not going to talk too much about Kill List because I don’t want to ruin it but the sense of dread this film has is particularly amazing: something bad is going to happen and it is going to happen soon. This film is a pleasant and mysterious surprise and I look forward to seeing if it as effective on repeated viewings.Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (Brad Bird)
The fourth film in the Mission: Impossible series is basically an excuse for Brad Bird to prove that he’s one of the best directors currently working. After making three great animated features (The Iron Giant, The Incredibles and Rataouille), Bird tries live-action for the first time and delivers tremendous results. Ghost Protocol features the best stunts in the series so far and has convinced me that Tom Cruise is actually insane for wanting to do this crazy shit. However, the best part of the film is that it is proof that IMAX, not 3D, should be the future of cinema and I hope The Dark Knight Rises and other films in 2012 continue to show why this is the case. Bring on 1906.Moneyball (Bennett Miller)
Moneyball does the impossible and somehow makes both baseball and statistics exciting. 2011 was a good year for Brad Pitt with The Tree of Life and Moneyball featuring two of his best performances in years but the true star of this film is Jonah Hill. I always liked Hill (well, most of the time) but who knew he was actually a pretty great dramatic actor? His performance as the nervous assistant general manager is probably my favourite supporting actor performance of last year. Oh yeah, I almost forgot: Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation actually saves the day in this film. He is my hero.Super 8 (J.J. Abrams)
J.J. Abrams’ homage to the films of Steven Spielberg is the most problematic film on this list. The alien isn’t even necessary, it falls apart in its third act and someone needs to slap the shit out of Abrams for still using those fucking lens flares. But… I can’t help but love it. Super 8 is a love letter to E.T. and the Goonies and Close Encounters of the Third Kind and the whole film is oozing with Abrams’ enthusiasm for those films. The first half of the film is perfect, from the clever way Abrams explains the mother’s death to the kids (who are all great) singing “My Sharona,” and I don’t think I had a more enjoyable time at the cinema in 2011. Super 8 is an incredibly flawed film… but a good one nonetheless.Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Tomas Alfredson)
Cold, complex, controlled: these are all words I would use to describe Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (and they also all begin with the letter C). Tomas Alfredson’s adaptation of John le Carre’s film is difficult to get into but ultimately rewarding just because of how well made it is. I really want to read the book and then watch it again just to make sure I followed everything but the real reason this film is on my list is because of its amazing ensemble cast: Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, Benedict Cumberbatch and Ciarin Hinds. All of these actors are in it and they are all brilliant. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is an excellent thriller… all you have to do is be patient and watch closely.Honorary mentions: Attack the Block (Joe Cornish), Bridesmaids (Paul Feig), Fast Five (Justin Lin), The Ides of March (George Clooney), Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen), Rango (Gore Verbinski), Source Code (Duncan Jones), Thor (Kenneth Branagh), Warrior (Gavin O’Connor), We Need To Talk About Kevin (Lynne Ramsay)
- Jan 21, 12
15th January to 21st January
Books – 1 (2)
A Feast For Crows (George R.R. Martin) – ***Comics – 60 (98)
Angel: After the Fall #1-5 (Brian Lynch and Franco Urru) – *
Avengers #21 – ***
Batman #5 – ****
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight #1-10 (Joss Whedon, Brian K. Vaughan and Georges Jeanty) – ***
Criminal #6-10 (Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips) – ***
Criminal (Vol. 2) #1-7 (Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips) – ****
Criminal: The Sinners #1-5 (Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips) – ****
Criminal: The Last of the Innocent #1-4 (Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips) – *****
Daredevil #8 – ****
Deadpool MAX 2 #4 – ***
Fables #113 – **
Fray #1-8 (Joss Whedon and Karl Moline) – ***
Moon Knight #9 – ****
Morning Glories #15 – ***
Prophet #21 – ***
Steed and Mrs. Peel #1 – **
Superior #7 – ***
Thunderbolts #169 – ***
Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #6 – ****
Uncanny X-Force #20 – ****
Uncanny X-Men #5 – ****
Wonder Woman #5 – **Films – 4 (28)
Dead Man’s Shoes (2004, Shane Meadows) – ***
The Descendants (2011, Alexander Payne) – ***
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011, Sean Durkin) – ****
This Is England (2006, Shane Meadows) – ****TV – 48 (100)
30 Rock 6×02 – ***
69th Golden Globe Awards – **
Alcatraz 1×01 – 1×02 – **
Angel 5×01 – 5×22 – ****
Archer 3×01 – 3×04 – ****
Fringe 4×08 – ***
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret 2×02 – ***
Justified 3×01 – ****
Modern Family 3×13 – ***
The Office 8×12 – **
Parethood 3×13 – 3×14 – ****
Parks and Recreation 4×12 – ****
Portlandia 2×02 – ****
The Shadow Line 1×01 – 1×07 – *****
Sherlock 2×03 – *****
Unsupervised 1×01 – **
- Jan 21, 12
We’re almost a month into 2012 already. This year looks like a good year for films and hopefully a better year than 2011 was. The Playlist has a pretty great list of their 50 most anticipated films and out of those 50 I have picked the 10 I’m most excited for:
Cogan’s Trade (Andrew Dominik)
Andrew Dominik, director of Chopper and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini, Richard Jenkins, Ray Liotta, Garret Dillahunt and Ben Mendelsohn. The crime genre. Cogan’s Trade has it all going on.The Dark Knight Rises (Christopher Nolan)
Come on, is there anyone not excited for the third installment in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy? While it might be almost impossible to top The Dark Knight, Nolan has shown that he somehow gets better with every film and so far he’s on a consistently great streak. The hype for this is already huge but I don’t think Nolan is going to let us down now. Also: Tom Hardy as Bane. Fuck yeah.Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino)
I read the script for Django Unchained a few months ago and while I don’t think it was as strong as the Inglourious Basterds script was, there’s no way I can’t be excited for this: it’s a goddamn Quentin Tarantino film after all and chances are this might be his last. Tarantino has wanted to do a proper western for years and now he’s finally doing it.The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Peter Jackson)
The Hobbit is another one of those films that most sane people on the planet should be excited for. While I am worried about a few things (like how hard is it going to be to differentiate between 13 different dwarfs on screen at once?), I have high hopes mainly because The Lord of the Rings is my favourite story of all time and Peter Jackson’s adaptations were what got me interested in the film medium in the first place.Lincoln (Steven Spielberg)
I know as much about American history as I do about Australian history (barely anything) but I’m actually interested in Lincoln. I haven’t seen War Horse yet but I loved The Adventures of Tintin and this has apparently been a passion project of Steven Spielberg’s for years, which means he’s been probably been thinking about it for a while now and has worked out all the kinks. Plus: Daniel Day-Lewis.Looper (Rian Johnson)
I don’t know what I feel about Rian Johnson (I liked Brick and the episodes of Breaking Bad and Terriers he did but I barely remember The Brothers Bloom) but this one’s on the list just because I love an interesting sci-fi film. I’m in for this one based on the premise alone: Looper has hitmen traveling through time and Joseph Gordon-Levitt trying to kill Bruce Willis or something. And because Shane Carruth of Primer is onboard, the time travel will actually make sense.The Master (Paul Thomas Anderson)
It’s been five years since There Will Be Blood came out. Five long, dark years where it seemed like Paul Thomas Anderson couldn’t get another film made. Luckily Megan Ellison appeared out of nowhere and decided to finance The Master, a film that used to be about L. Ron Hubbard and the founding of Scientology and now might be about something else. Anyway, it’s got Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix in it and Magnolia is one of my favourite films of all time so I expect The Master to be brilliant.Moonrise Kingdom (Wes Anderson)
I love The Royal Tenenbaums more than any future children I will have but I wouldn’t call myself a fan of Wes Anderson. However, Moonrise Kingdom is on my most anticipated list for one reason only: Edward Norton. This may be an odd reason but the combination of Anderson and Norton seems made in heaven and I can’t believe they haven’t collaborated before. To me, this collaboration works just as good in theory as Woody Allen and Jesse Eisenberg plus this film has also got Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray AND Jason Schwartzman in it.Prometheus (Ridley Scott)
Holy shit, did you see that trailer? No matter how much Ridley Scott denies Prometheus being an Alien prequel, this thing looks and sounds like an Alien prequel and even looks and sounds like it could even be better than Alien itself. It’s also written by Damon Lindelof and has the best cast of 2012. Fuck yeah, bring it on.The Wettest County (John Hillcoat)
The last time John Hillcoat and Nick Cave collaborated resulted in The Proposition, a masterpiece about violence in the Australian west. The Wettest County sounds like it’s going to be The Proposition meets Boardwalk Empire and I am down with both of those things. Also, Nick Cave is scoring the film, which means we’ll get another brilliant soundtrack to go alongside his other three masterpieces (The Proposition, The Assassination of Jesse James and The Road).Honorable mentions: shit, 75% of The Playlist’s list. 2012 is going to be AMAZING.
- Jan 14, 12
8th January to 14th January
Books – 1 (1)
A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin) – *****Comics – 21 (38)
Amazing Spider-Man #677 – ***
Batman and Robin #5 – ***
Batwoman #5 – ****
Captain America #7 – ***
Criminal #1-5 (Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips) – ****
Demon Knights #5 – ***
Frankenstein, Agent of SHADE #5 – ***
Green Lantern #5 – ****
Incredible Hulk #4 – **
Invincible #87 – ****
Lobster Johnson: The Burning Man #1 – ***
Punisher MAX #21 – *****
Resurrection Man #5 – ****
Scalped #55 – *****
Secret Avengers #21 – ****
Wolverine #300 – ****
Wolverine and the X-Men #4 – ***Films – 3 (24)
Casino Royale (2006, Martin Campbell) – ****
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011, Tomas Alfredson) – ****
Troy (2004, Wolfgang Petersen) – ***TV – 39 (52)
30 Rock 6×01 – ***
Angel 4×12 – 4×22 – ***
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7×12 – 7×22 – ****
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret 2×01 – ****
Modern Family 3×12 – ***
The Office 8×11 – ****
Parks and Recreation 4×11 – ****
Portlandia 2×01 – ****
Rome 2×01 – 2×10 – ***
Sherlock 2×02 – ***Video Games – 1 (2)
God of War: Ghost of Sparta – ****
- Jan 07, 12
I’ve recently been reading A Song of Ice and Fire (I’ve almost finished A Storm of Swords) and I’ve become really interested in the whole political fantasy genre with multiple houses making alliances and going to war with another. Because I’m a geek, I wondered why not take this idea and apply it to the Marvel Universe?
A GAME OF THRONES, MARVEL-STYLE
The King is dead. Odin Borson, the old King of Asgard and the other five nations of Midgard, has perished, leaving an empty throne. His true son Thor was exiled long ago, leaving his adopted son Loki Laufeyson to rule in his place. But there are others who would claim the throne for themselves…
Namor of Atlantis; Blackagar Boltagon of Attilan; Erik Magnus Lensherr of Genosha; Victor von Doom of Latveria; and T’Challa of Wakanda. These five monarchs will go to war to claim the throne… but when you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.
ASGARD
Believed to have descended from the Gods themselves, the people of Asgard are strong and honorable. Until his death, Odin Borson had ruled Asgard and the other five nations of Midgard since he had defeated the Frost Giants in the Great War and took their child as his own.
Odin Borson – the former King of Asgard who died in his sleep. His followers suspect foul play. He leaves behind two sons, Thor Odinson, his true heir who was exiled a long time ago, and Loki Laufrey, his adopted son, who claims the throne in his place.
Thor Odinson – the true heir to the throne of Asgard. His father exiled him a long time ago in an attempt to teach him humility. He has spent the time wandering the Earth and learning many things. Upon learning of his father’s death and his adopted brother’s rule, Thor must form an army of his own to reclaim his birth right.
Loki Laufrey – adopted son of Odin and the self-proclaimed King of Asgard. Loki manipulated his father into exiling Thor a long time ago and then poisoned Odin so he could claim the throne for himself. He is mischievous and manipulative and will do anything he can to stay in power for as long as possible, even resorting to bringing the Frost Giants back to Midgard.
Frigga – wife to Odin and mother to Thor and Loki. She is distraught and suspects Loki was responsible for her husband’s death.
Balder – the greatest warrior in Asgard. He is also the son of Odin and an heir to the throne but he does not know this yet. Upon learning this fact from Frigga, Balder will go to war with Loki.
Heimdall – the captain of the guards. He is loyal to whoever sits on the throne of Asgard.
Sif – brother to Heimdall and love-interest to Thor. Loki has chosen her to be his wife.
Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg – collectively known as the Warriors Three. Sif sends these men to find Thor and return him to Asgard.
ATLANTIS
Atlantis is a large island off the coast of Midgard. The barbarian Attuma recently slaughtered all of the nation’s royalty except for Namor, who killed Attuma and became the new King by default. Atlantis has the largest navy in all of Midgard.
Namor – the playboy King of Atlantis. Namor has many lovers but no wives. He is the most likely to go to war because it is “fun.”
Nita – the young Princess of Atlantis and one of Namor’s many children.
Triton – formerly of Attilan and brother of Karnak. He was sent to Atlantis long ago by Blackagar Boltagon and has decided to stay.
ATTILAN
Attilan, or the “Great Refuge,” is home to all kinds of people and ruled by the Royal Family of Attilan. The nation holds many secrets, notably the Terrigan Mists, a rare gas that is believed to give its users strength in battle.
Blackagar Boltagon – the silent King of Attilan and the head of the Royal Family. He is the husband of Medusalith and father of Crystalia. His tongue was cut out by his younger brother Maximus, and Attilan has been at civil war ever since.
Medusalith Boltagon – the Queen of Attilan, the wife of Blackagar and the mother of Crystalia. Due to her husband’s silence, Medusalith is responsible for interpreting everything he says. It is said that there love is so strong that they can speak without opening their mouths.
Crystalia Boltagon – the Princess of Attilan and the daughter of Boltagon and Medusalith. She is in an arranged marriage with Pietro Lensher of Genosha.
Maximus Boltagon – the mad younger brother of Boltagon. He cut his brother’s tongue out and has been at war with him ever since. He wants the throne of Attilan for himself. After Magneto realises that Blackagar will not go to war with him, he will turn to Maximus.
Gorgon – the personal bodyguard of the Royal Family.
Karnak – philosopher, priest, and advisor to the Royal Family. He is the brother of Triton.
Lockjaw – Crystalia’s dog and faithful protector.
GENOSHA
Once a savage land, Genosha has flourished under the rule of Erik Magnus Lensherr and turned into a sizable and respectable nation.
Erik Magnus Lensherr – King of Genosha and father to Pietro and Wanda. Lensherr wishes to claim the throne of Asgard and rule Midgard simply because he believes he is better than everyone else. His wife, Magda, died giving birth to his two children and he has been cold and bitter towards them ever since.
Pietro Lensherr – Prince of Genosha, son of Erik and twin-brother to Wanda. He is in an arranged marriage to Crystalia Boltagon of Attilan, but unbeknownst to his father, has recently started an incestual relationship with his sister. He hates his father and wants to claim the throne of Genosha for himself.
Wanda Lensherr – Princess of Genosha, son of Erik and twin-sister to Pietro. Her father wishes to arrange a marriage with a suitor to form an alliance with another nation. She has recently started an incestual relationship with her brother.
Jason Wyngarde – advisor to the Lensherrs. Much like Loki, he is manipulative and mischievous and cannot be fully trusted.
Toad – pathetic servant and jester to the Lensherrs. He is smarter than he appears and knows of the relationship between Pietro and Wanda.
Victor Creed – the strongest warrior of Genosha and the personal guard to the Lensherrs. All of Midgard has heard the stories that he is more beast than man.
Raven – mysterious assassin and occasional lover of Erik Lensherr. Seductive and deadly.
LATVERIA
The most mysterious nation in all of Midgard. Latveria has grown in power ever since the tyrant Victor von Doom took the throne. Latveria has no allies and sees every other nation as an enemy in this war and has recently gone to war with Wakanda to gain its precious vibranium metal, which Doom plans to build weapons with to go to war against Asgard.
Victor von Doom – the tyrant King of Latveria. No one knows where he came from – some say he was a gypsy, some say he was a brilliant inventor, some even say he was spat out of Hell itself. Mysterious and powerful, Doom rules Latveria with a literal iron fist.
Kristoff von Doom – Doom’s only heir and just as mysterious as he is.
Bram Velsing – the Dreadknight. Latveria’s most fearsome warrior.
WAKANDA
A mostly peaceful but strong nation led by the proud T’Challa. Wakanda’s vibranium metal is the envy of all of Midgard and it has recently gone to war with Latveria to protect it.
T’Challa – the warrior King of Wakanda and husband of Ororo T’Challa. He wears the skin of a black panther in battle and has never been defeated.
Ororo T’Challa – the Queen of Wakanda and wife of T’Challa. The people of Wakanda know and fear her as a storm goddess.
N’Gassi – advisor to T’Challa.
Zuri – an elderly warrior. He was a friend to T’Challa’s father.
Feel free to share some characters and ideas of your own. How do you think this story would play out?
- Jan 07, 12
1st January to 7th January
Comics – 17
Action Comics #5 – **
Animal Man #5 – ****
Avengers Annual #1 – **
Avengers X-Sanction #2 – **
Boys #62 – ***
Defenders #2 – ***
Fatale #1 – ****
Hulk #47 – ***
O.M.A.C. #5 – **
Punisher #7 – ****
Stormwatch #5 – **
Swamp Thing #5 – ****
Sweet Tooth #29 – ***
Thunderbolts #168 – ***
Uncanny X-Force #19.1 – ***
Uncanny X-Men #4 – ***
Wolverine and the X-Men: Alpha and Omega #1 – ***Films – 21
The Adventures of Tintin (2011, Steven Spielberg) – ****
A Serious Man (2009, Joel and Ethan Coen) – *****
Barton Fink (1991, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
The Big Lebowski (1998, Joel and Ethan Coen) – *****
Big Trouble in Little China (1986, John Carpenter) – ****
Blood Simple (1984, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
Burn After Reading (2008, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
Fargo (1996, Joel and Ethan Coen) – *****
The Hudsucker Proxy (1994, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ***
Intolerable Cruelty (2003, Joel and Ethan Coen) – **
The Ladykillers (2004, Joel and Ethan Coen) – **
Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown (2008, Frank H. Woodward) – ***
The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
Miller’s Crossing (1990, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
No Country For Old Men (2007, Joel and Ethan Coen) – *****
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
Predators (2009, Nimrod Antal) – ***
Raising Arizona (1987, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****
They Live (1988, John Carpenter) – ***
Thor (2011, Kenneth Brannagh) – ****
True Grit (2010, Joel and Ethan Coen) – ****TV – 12
Angel 4×05 – 4×11 – ****
Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011 – ****
Modern Family 3×11 – ***
Parenthood 3×12 – *****
QI 2×09 – ***
Sherlock 2×01 – ****Video Games – 1
God of War: Chains of Olympus – ***
- Dec 31, 11
Over New Year’s Eve I decided to do a John Carpenter marathon and watched 10 of his films. I had only ever seen Escape From New York and The Thing before and thought it was time to watch Halloween and Big Trouble in Little China – and I may as well watch most of his other films as well. I picked these 10 films based on the critical response and general opinions and they seem to be the 10 John Carpenter films worth watching. After watching these 10 films I thought I may as well write about them, so here are my thoughts on each:
Dark Star (1974) – **
John Carpenter’s first feature film is a nice student film but a fairly poor film overall. Dark Star is almost a parody of Alien five years before it was released (screenwriter Dan O’Bannon worked on both) and if this film had been released afterwards, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the tagline had been “in space, no one can hear you laugh.” Dark Star references earlier Stanley Kubrick films like 2001: A Space Odyssey and Dr. Strangelove and focuses on the more ridiculous aspects of science fiction, from artificial intelligent bombs to unusual alien beachballs. It’s clear that Dark Star was John Carpenter and friends experimenting to see what they could get away with and while it might have worked for them, it doesn’t really work for me.Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) – ***
For some reason I had the plots of S.W.A.T. and the Assault on Precinct 13 remake mixed up and I spent most of this film wondering when the convict was going to offer criminals money for whoever could break him out. Obviously S.W.A.T. has nothing to do with Assault on Precinct 13, which is a solid film and an improvement over Dark Star. Unfortunately, the film failed to grab me, mainly due to my initial confusion but also because it is inspired by two films I have never seen before: Rio Bravo and Night of the Light Dead. I think I will have to watch those two films and then watch Assault on Precinct 13 again, and then maybe I will appreciate it more and understand why it is considered to be one of John Carpenter’s masterpieces.Halloween (1978) – ****
The first John Carpenter film I really liked and the one generally considered his best film. I was surprised at how effective Halloween was over 30 years later and after numerous sequels and countless ripoffs (and even a remake with a sequel of its own, as someone pointed out on Twitter). Halloween has stood the test of time as a fantastic film and a definitive horror film at that. Cheap, gritty, and disturbing, Halloween is the kind of film that can get away with the antagonist not being caught or killed and simply disappearing into the night. I can’t imagine any modern horror film being allowed to do that and that is why Halloween is so good.The Fog (1980) – **
John Carpenter’s follow-up to Halloween was unfortunately underwhelming, mainly because it was a follow-up to Halloween. The Fog has a fog and some ghost pirates but it doesn’t work nearly as well as Halloween, which is a shame. The characters are all pretty forgettable and it seemed like Carpenter could have done more with the idea of a mysterious fog descending on a town. Maybe as a standalone film The Fog isn’t so bad but when compared to what came before (and after it), it’s one of Carpenter’s most forgettable films.Escape From New York (1981) – ****
One of the two John Carpenter films I had seen before, I knew what to expect when watching Escape From New York this time: Carpenter’s most badass character in the form of Snake Plisskin and the beginning of the great Carpenter/Kurt Russell relationship (ignoring that Elvis TV film, of course). Escape From New York is one of those films that begin as a guilty pleasure and ends as simply pleasure. Even though it takes place in the future of 1997, Escape From New York is a timeless film, and one that is still being referenced even today in the future of 2011 (now 12), like the recent Batman video game, Arkham City. While I didn’t watch the sequel Escape From L.A., I would like it if Carpenter and Russell reunited to complete the trilogy with Escape From Planet Earth someday.The Thing (1982) – *****
The Thing is my favourite John Carpenter film and the one I consider to be his real masterpiece. A group of scared and tired men in the middle of Antarctica not being able to trust with another is the very definition of paranoia and The Thing has to be the best film about paranoia I have ever seen. Released on the same day as Blade Runner (what a great day for cinema that was), The Thing has gone on to become the second best sci-fi/horror film of all time (Alien is first, obviously). Much like Halloween, The Thing has no clean resolution and the cliffhanger ending makes the film that much better. “Why don’t we just… wait here for a little while… see what happens…”Christine (1983) – ***
I haven’t read the Stephen King book Christine is based on but I could tell it was a Stephen King story almost immediately: the dopey premise about a possessed car and all of the dialogue about sex. I imagine someone has written a great analysis of this film about the connection between cars and sex so I’m not going to do that here. Christine is surprisingly decent and John Carpenter and King make an effective partnership (and I’m surprised Carpenter didn’t do any further King adaptations).Starman (1984) – ***
About halfway through Starman I got annoyed because I realised this was just John Carpenter doing E.T. An alien comes to earth but wants to go home and meets a friend who helps him do that. The only difference is in Starman you get creepy Jeff Bridges instead of a creepy little alien and he takes the form of his companion’s lover instead of just being his friend. Starman isn’t bad but it feels simple and weak, and I think it’s Carpenter’s most “mainstream” film yet.Big Trouble in Little China (1986) – ****
By this point it was no longer 2011 and had become 2012 and I was getting tired of watching films. However, I knew I couldn’t go to sleep until I had watched Big Trouble in Little China. Over the years I’ve heard many great things about this film and it has reached this cult status and become one of those films that must be watched. I loved Big Trouble in Little China. Kurt Russell was useless and hilarious, Lo Pan was a terrific villain, and John Carpenter was clearly just having fun. This is my second favourite Carpenter film after The Thing.They Live (1988) – ***
They Live is perhaps John Carpenter’s most unusual film (well, maybe Big Trouble in Little China) because it kind of feels like Carpenter trying to do David Cronenberg with the whole idea of these beings being hidden amongst us and one man having to fight them. For some reason I went into They Live thinking it was supposed to be great until a bunch of people on Twitter told me it sucks. While I don’t think it’s bad, it’s certainly forgettable. I do think it’s kind of neat and I’m glad I watched it but it doesn’t stand alongside Carpenter’s best work.And there we go. I watched 10 John Carpenter films in a row. I really liked four of them, enjoyed four more of them and only disliked two of them. I would say those are pretty good results. What are your thoughts on John Carpenter? Which of his films do I still need to watch?
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