Senior Social Media Editor, Men's Health & Women's Health magazines. UMiami alum. Human jukebox. Lover of chocolate & soccer.
@crackliffe duh. That's how every Disney movie ends. Xo
— Morgan Schreiber (@Morgs120) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe as a cynical teenager full of sarcasm and derogatory remarks, a part of me hopes that something will prove my pessimism wrong
— Brian Ng (@aspiringboy) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe YES! Love is the most powerful thing on earth, all you need is to believe and you will get your happily ever after.
— KHYREN (@NERYHK) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe Why only one when you can have both?
— Jillian Abood (@JillianAbood) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe An intense 1st connection that builds more and more throughout your relationship.Luckily I'm experiencing this now.:)
— Josh Garcia (@thejoshhhh) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe Passion that builds! Connections that start quickly & intensely generally end as quickly & intensely. A slow simmer is best.
— Ashley Mayo (@AshleyKMayo) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe Passion that builds, b/c it's sustainable. All long term relationships I've had started with me having NO interest in the guy
— Lala Jackson (@WhoMadeYouGreat) May 9, 2012
@crackliffe Both is best, and definitely possible and most electric.
— Jake G. (@everythingsjake) May 9, 2012
These times are so uncertain,
There's a yearning undefined,
And people filled with rage.
We all need a little tenderness;
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
Are the very things we kill, I guess.
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms,
And the work I put between us
Doesn't keep me warm.
Despite the fact that I’m technically a social media “professional,” I highly dislike it when people refer to me as a “guru” or “expert.” How is it possible for anyone to be an “expert” in a field still in its infancy? Hell, we’ve all been using social media—the same social networking sites—for the same amount of time. On the other hand, though, there are those who “get” social media and those who don’t. I believe that there are plenty of insightful minds that have a unique perspective to offer regarding the social media space—and I include myself as one of them. But I will always correct someone who refers to me as an authority in the digital space because I still learn something new every day. Here are just some of my recent musings in regards to the social media movement:
1. Social media is not your savior.
Social media is a tool—a platform—to connect with others like never before. Too many people out there think of social media as an end rather than a means to reach an end. The truth is: social media by itself isn’t going to save anyone—it’s how the medium is used that has brought so many personal and professional brands success and direct access to their enthusiasts. Just remember: simply being involved in social media is not good enough—doing something with that presence and maintaining a strategy that allows you to be original and fun is what will take your brand to the next level. And even beyond that, unless your brand is consistent and delivers a quality product or service, social media—no matter how it is used—will not hide your flaws.
2. Participate for yourself first.
In this case, it’s okay to be selfish. Social media, while inherently about conversations and connections, must add value and utility to your life, or brand, in order for it to be worthwhile. Thus, you must receive some added benefit from your participation or else there’s simply no point. While building your brand in the social space and engaging with others, don’t lose sight of why you’re there—to express your thoughts and ideas. Connecting with others is just a part of the process. “News” is no longer simply about political unrest, natural disasters or economic uncertainty—our lives revolve around the social “news” of our friends and various circles of social influence. At the center of all those circles, though, is the self. Remember that.
3. Be a persona.
Take the mundane and make it your own. Chop it up, mix it in your mind and serve it to others in a fun and creative manner. The brands that succeed best in the social space are those who personify their name and who demonstrate understanding of pop culture and “hip” trends. Be yourself but put yourself out there and kick your personality into high gear. This, of course, doesn’t work for everyone. But, from my experience, establishing your niche and being creative are never hurtful in establishing a connection with others and leaving a memorable brand impression as well.
4. Social media is not your megaphone.
My biggest problem with some people in social media—and especially on Twitter—are those individuals and companies who utilize the platform not for engagement or adding value to the lives of followers, but rather as a megaphone for their agenda. I’m sorry, but that’s not what social media is all about. Just like any other marketing medium—know your audience and cater your messages to them. At the same time, know your brand and stay true to it. Never, ever ask your followers to re-tweet what you share. That’s just absurd. As my good friend Amanda says: “I realize that I have that option, thanks.”
5. Always question the obvious.
This point isn’t necessarily particular to social media, but it’s still extremely relevant. Why? Because there’s a lot of hype and exaggeration in social media. Take everything with a grain of salt and reckon it with what you already know. Be skeptical of “news,” question sources and always dig for your own truth. Learn how to cut through all of the junk and get to the valuable grains of information and entertainment that you seek.
6. Be honest, open and vulnerable.
One of the aspects I love most about social media is its candidness—the requirement of disclosure and openness. People know that nobody is perfect. In the social space it’s vital to show your imperfections and connect with others who are enduring the same hardships—or successes—as you. Because the truth is: when you open yourself up to others, they’ll open up to you. And that’s what being social is all about. (P.S. No “corporate speak" allowed!)
7. If you think you shouldn’t post it, do it anyway.
Don’t hold back, dive in headfirst and take chances. Laugh, cry and over-share. Be witty and original. Bottom line: don’t question yourself. People will understand your brand more if you say what’s on your mind. Granted, there are some topics and posts that are not appropriate for social media—think racism, stereotyping and other offensive content. But the overall point is to interact with others who either agree or disagree with your views. This sharing process allows us to learn and connect with our peers.
What are your thoughts on social media? Would you add to or take away from anything on this list? Why or why not?
Speak up—tell me what you think!
Today’s post is not about any one discrete event, person or situation—but rather a phenomenon I’ve noticed for a while but have been unable to articulate. And I’ve been itching to write another blog on relationships since the last one was so well-received…
You see, there are very few absolutes in life—and little, if any of them, apply to relationships. However, in my opinion, it’s time for people to stop being so damn fake.
Fake?! Yes, fake.
Oh, yes, I just went there. Honestly, it’s not meant as an attack on anyone—this is more about a cultural and societal issue of not being upfront with others. And it happens so often in dating and relationships that we must call ourselves out and stop this nonsense.
So, how do we do that? Well, it’s easy! You see, we all need to learn those other three words that are so vital to being honest with others—and ourselves. We all need to learn how to say, “I’m not interested.”
Oh, boy: the age-old question of, “Does (s)he like me?” It’s a toughie. And there’s never a 100%-assured answer. Oh, unrequited love, how you torture us!
But, to be honest, things would be a lot easier—and we could all live much more fulfilling and transparent lives—if everyone could just be, well, more honest.
I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard that go like this: X meets Y. X and Y go on a date. X likes Y, but is unsure if Y likes X in return. X and Y hang out several more times and everything seems to be going great. Then, Y disappears or becomes some other form of “shady.” Well, what the hell happened? Did Z get jealous of the alphabet action and decide to jump in? (Ha!) But, for real, this is a scenario that happens all the time. I like to call it “being phased-out.”
It really makes sense if you think about it. Something had to happen with Y to all of a sudden become disinterested or unavailable. And it’s not necessarily important what happened; however, it is critical that all of us Y’s out there learn how to communicate with the X’s (no pun intended) and tell them “I’m not interested.” Conversely, all of us X’s must learn to adapt to the situation and not over-react too early on in the game, or be clingy.
Because nothing is more unattractive than desperation.
At the same time, though, we all deserve a little clarity—some reassurance that our investment into the connection is a worthwhile one. This is where the honesty comes into play. Guys and girls out there: learn how to be more in touch with your emotions and communicate them with others. Life is too short to play games or get hung up about letting someone down or being let down.
And all of us Y’s out there need to learn to stop letting the X’s down easy. What’s the purpose? Us X’s don’t want to hear any of the following:
1. “You’re a great person, but…”
2. “It’s me, it’s not you.”
3. “I still want to be friends.”
4. “I don’t deserve you.”
5. “One day you’ll find someone who will love you like you deserve.”
Hey, Y’s: you don’t mean these things when you say them, so why do you even bother? You’re not helping out the X’s by letting them down easy. Actually, you may not realize it but you’re making it more confusing for the X’s because you’re not being honest. Muster up some courage and self-respect and start admitting how you really feel:
1. “You aren’t the right person for me.”
2. “It’s definitely you and not me.”
3. “The connection just isn’t there.”
4. “I don’t think you deserve to be with me. (Duh, I’m dumping you!)”
5. “Good luck! I’ve got another date after this awkward breakup.”
Because you’re not doing anyone any good by being fake. And we’re all guilty of it. We’ve all been an X and we’ve all been a Y. If you’re an X more often than a Y, try seeing the situation from the latter’s perspective—if the opposite is true, then vice versa. Hopefully, then, once we see that we’ve all been there, we can be honest enough with ourselves to fully open up to others.
So, learn those other three words—and prevent yourself from saying those cliché lines that are so transparent. Why “phase someone out” when you can cut them out? You don’t really want to be friends anyway! Isn’t it about time you start telling people that? Hell, if GaGa can admit it, can’t you?
After a busy day at work—and a fun, yet not-so-restful weekend—it was nice to come home tonight and do nothing. Literally nothing—I just ate and watched TV.
I know you’ve come to expect long, detailed and essay-like blogs from me, but I’m not so long-winded all of the time. Tonight’s message is simple:
Love yourself first. Take time out for yourself that you can call your own. Don’t feel pressured to live a fast-paced lifestyle all of the time. It’s okay to turn your phone off for a night and just think.
Stop to enjoy life in its simplicity—happiness doesn’t require a whole lot; it truly is the little things that matter.
Are you paying enough attention to them—to yourself? Do it! It makes everything else so much more worthwhile.
So, as most of you already know, I've literally made a career out of tweeting. Honestly, I never planned for things to be this way. Hell, I didn't even have a Twitter until April of 2009. (My Twitterversary is coming up, yay!)
But there are a lot of people out there who are skeptical of Twitter - and social media in general. In my conversations with others who aren't on Twitter, I inevitably have to ask, "So, why don't you tweet?"
You may or not be surprised at how predictable the responses are. There are three primary reasons:
1. I don't know what to tweet about!
2. I don't want to hear about what people are doing at every second of the day!
and/or
3. I already have Gmail, AIM, Facebook and LinkedIn. Do I really need another site to maintain?
Have you heard any other reasons? Please share them in the comments.
Here are my comebacks:
1. You do have something important to say! What are the random thoughts that pop into your head? What do you think about that new ad campaign? Did last night's episode of Lost really suck?
2. Don't follow people who just tweet "eating a sandwich" or "about to go grocery shopping" - follow people who share interesting stories, links and ideas, and be sure to avoid talking about the mundane as well. Feel free to talk about whatever's happening in your daily life, but put a humorous spin on it! Here's an example: instead of saying "worst commute ever!" say "Chris + hangover + screaming children + packed train = NOT HAPPY."
and
3. I agree--another site kinda sucks. BUT - the added value you'll receive by taking part in the Twitter community will far outweigh the time and energy you have to put in. Because as long as you are sharing relevant, interesting content, people will follow you and you will grow your personal "brand."
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're an artist, architect or assassin, the truth is: you can't afford to NOT be on Twitter. Here are the 5 reasons:
1. Information
Twitter is an amazing resource for news and information. Links are shared, ideas spread and topics trend. Every major media outlet has a Twitter feed. Often, news breaks on Twitter before anywhere else. It's worth the investment to be connected, which leads me to my next point...
2. Connections
In the realm of "social networking," Twitter is the easiest and most open platform to network with others. Wanna find people who share similar interests with you? Just search for specific keywords or hashtags and follow them. Start a conversation with them and BOOM, you have a connection! But, at the end of the day, Twitter has so much more to offer. Unlike any other closed network (i.e. Facebook, LinkedIn, Brazen Careerist, etc.), Twitter allows you to send a tweet to literally anyone - a celebrity, a newscaster and even the President. How is this relevant to you? Well, if you're a freelance photographer and really like that shot in V magazine, you can look up the photographer on Twitter and say, "I really admire your work" or "How can I be as good as you?" or "Are you looking for an intern?" You can literally apply this situation to any profession. Wanna message that editor but don't know his or her email or phone number? No problem - tweet them! Twitter has flattened our world more than any other social media platform - and that's an amazing resource. Are you really willing to pass that up?
3. Simplicity
Twitter is simple: you have 140 characters and that's it! Who would've thought that a character limit could spur creativity? Well, I guess the same principle applies to time crunches and deadlines, but I digress. The point is: Twitter is not a complex array of features like Facebook or LinkedIn. You share your thoughts, period. No frills, no overly-complicated platform.
4. Soundboard
Twitter, even more so than Facebook, has an amazing way of answering the questions it is asked. Want feedback on your project or blog? Ask your Twitter followers - they'll tell you! Want to ask what others thought of the big game? They'll tell you! What about ideas on an upcoming product or a controversial issue? Yup, you guessed it: they'll tell you! See what I mean? Ask and you shall receive! Can your LinkedIn do that?
5. Word-of-mouth
There's no doubt that Twitter is the best thing for spreading messages since email or Facebook. Twitter's inherent "re-tweet" nature has a viral quality to it that is unmatched by any other digital social resource - that's what'll help you get noticed! In this regard, Twitter has a "Wikipedia-like" aspect, where a common knowledge can only benefit you - i.e. the "water cooler" talk in the morning.
So - can you really afford to decline to take part in the conversation? Honestly, what do you have to lose? You do have important thoughts and ideas to share, I know it! You don't have to bore yourself with mundane topics - just don't follow those types of people! That's the beauty of Twitter - it really is what you make of it.
How much longer will you resist? If for nothing else, join so you can see what the fuss is about. You'll only make your personal brand more marketable in the process. Especially if you follow me.
Happy tweeting!
What are your favorite songs of all time? Seriously, what are they? Don’t gimme that whole spiel about “Oh, I couldn’t possibly pick one or even five!” – you have your favorites, just check your iTunes play counts! And if you change your mind all the time, what are the five songs that really pull at your heartstrings – and not just in a sad way?
When you hear those songs, do they take you back to a specific time period and place? Can you feel the same emotions now that you did then? I’d honestly be surprised if you answered “no” to those questions.
Music is such an integral and powerful part of our lives. All of our senses are unique in their own right, and all of them have a distinct impact on our memory, but our auditory sense has an especially acute ability to bring us back to particular moments in our lives.
Hell, whenever I hear “Achy-Breaky Heart” I’m instantly taken back to when I was four years old, dancing in a white t-shirt and tighty-whities around the living room while singing into the TV remote.
And then there’s Mariah, of course. As most of you already know, I have a slight obsession with Mimi – she’s my favorite musical artist. It only takes a short, two-second clip of any of her songs and I’m immediately feelin’ emotions higher than I ever dreamed of – pun intended.
My favorite song of all time is probably “Honey” by Mariah. Every time I listen to it, I get butterflies in the best way possible – and I become giddy and optimistic. Why? Who knows! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been dancing around to that song for over a decade. Or maybe it’s because I imagine myself back on the beach in Miami whenever I hear it. Whatever the reason, that song will forever have strange powers over me.
I’m a music freak. Some people grow out of it – my Dad sure as hell did – but I don’t think I ever will. I follow music blogs like Musicboxmix (shout out to Louie!), constantly download new music and never turn off my iPod. I’d rather have it this way.
So what are your favorite songs? Tell me in the comments! If I don’t already have the song, I’ll download it. Nothin’ like sharin’ a lil’ musical love, right? Mhm.
I’m no love guru – hell, I’ve never even been in love, and my relationships have been far from rosy – but this Shecky’s blog by Kellene McCaffrey really got me in the mood to give amorous advice.
In the blog, Kellene discusses the classic “Disney deception” case – that, as children watching Disney movies, we are engrained with a faulty formula for finding love: boy and girl have a chance encounter, live completely different lives but fall madly in love and then somehow live, as they say, “happily ever after.”
Ironically, coming across this blog was perfect timing for me. Not only have I just recently passed a huge benchmark in my love life – I’ve been single for four years now – but yesterday was the first time I saw the romantic comedy The Holiday with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black. Yes, I cried.
Back to the point – after the movie yesterday, I became deeply introspective about relationships and what makes them tick. Here’s what Disney taught us:
Our dream guys are:
1. Busy being “dreamy” – in other words, they have a job that keeps them out of trouble.
2. Ready to meet the right person for them.
3. Just as vulnerable and hurt as we are.
4. Active and in-shape, perhaps even part of a sports team or fitness organization.
5. Open and inviting.
Our dream guys are not:
1. Dancing with their shirts off and tweaking on cocaine and ecstasy at the club.
2. Shady and inattentive.
3. Vindictive, misogynistic assholes.
4. Lazy, unhealthy couch potatoes.
5. Judgmental or jaded.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Okay, those lists are great, but I could’ve made those myself.” And, if you did say that, you’d be perfectly right. But, let’s face it; you weren’t going to sit down and make those lists yourself, were you? Right, that’s what I thought.
Okay, moving on. There are some protective measures we must all keep in the back of our minds as we meet new people and explore our boundaries with them.
Protective measures:
1. He’s just not that into you – you’re not the exception and he won’t change for you. Quit tolerating his bullshit excuses and wake up!
2. Guys enjoy a pursuit, so let them chase you – don’t text him incessantly just to let him know you’re thinking about him.
3. Don’t tell your friends about him – the more you talk about him, the more you feed your “hope baby,” (a term coined by my dear friend Noel - do you have a blog so I can link back to it, boo?) the idea in your mind that this guy is Mr. Right.
So what’s the bottom line? Be nonchalant. Like Chuck Klosterman says in Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs, "Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less." So, be the one that cares less – at least in the beginning when the situation is unclear.
How do you care less? Enjoy being single! Think about the perks of being a bachelor or bachelorette:
Advantages of being single:
1. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
2. You can do whomever you want, whenever you want.
3. Your only obligation is to yourself, your friends and your family.
4. Time to learn and grow.
So, I bet you’re wondering: “If you know all of this, Chris, then why are you still single?” Well, I’m wondering the same thing. Hell, who doesn’t want companionship? Who would turn down a truly devoted boyfriend who will challenge you and from whom you can learn? It makes me wonder: does the above advice keep one guarded a little too much? Because, at the end of the day, love is being oneself and putting it all out there, right? Sort of.
Let’s take the gay world for example: 20% of heterosexual couples meet online, as opposed to 61% of homosexual couples who facilitated their relationship via the Internet. That’s a pretty staggering difference between sexual orientations, wouldn’t you say? Yeah.
On gay personals sites, nothing is left to the imagination anymore – the days of taking the time to get to know someone have been replaced with interview-like messages and scripts of conversations that detail stats and sexual positions. And don’t forget the sexting and x-rated photographs before you even meet that person on the other side of the wireless connection. It really is all put out there upfront.
Are we really naïve enough to think that complete and immediate self-disclosure will create an exciting and fruitful relationship? Connections take time to develop – spilling your guts and deepest, darkest secrets to someone that you just started messaging thirty minutes prior is probably not the best idea. Think about it!
And then I think about Sarah M. and Julie S., two friends from high school with whom I’ve recently reconnected via Twitter, and whose blogs I read all the time. Sarah M. is a UNC Chapel Hill graduate, an amazing artist and writer and a cute, active blonde. Julie S. is in seminary, remains true to her principles and is a charming, sophisticated young woman. Now, how is it that two intelligent and respectable young ladies have remained single for so long? Honestly, I don’t know. All I can say is that there’s something wrong with a world where people like us aren’t snatched off the market.
So, is the key to put yourself out there or to remain guarded? Honestly, like the blog I wrote about being yourself 100% of the time, I can’t say that you shouldn’t put yourself out there. Life is about taking risks and pushing the limits; however, at the same time, those risks must be calculated and, as such, we must calculate the amount of ourselves we should reveal at any given time. The point is: find your personal balance. What are you willing to tell someone that you’ve only known for thirty minutes? How about 30 hours? And 30 days?
Love takes time. I’ve tweeted this several times, but love doesn’t just come around like Keri Hilson says it does. It takes effort and commitment and mutual self-disclosure that is spread over time in a healthy, non-chat-room-like manner.
And, if none of that works, you know the relationship wasn’t meant to be. Because the person you’ll end up with – the guy with whom you will share your “happily ever after” – won’t lie to, cheat on or judge you. That doesn’t make them a prince; it makes them your faithful counterpart. Monarchies died hundreds of years ago – and so did horses as the primary means of transportation – so why are you still acting like Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella? Your desperation isn’t getting you anywhere – smarten and toughen up and play the game just as well as the guys do. Maybe then they’ll respect you enough to let you in.
Who are you? No, really, who are you?
Are you shy or outgoing? Independent or needy? Neurotic or laid-back? Assertive or passive?
What it all boils down to is: how well do you really know yourself? The only way to gauge your own character is through failures and successes – experiences that shape who we are as individuals, which inevitably takes a considerable amount of time and a whole hell-of-a lot of trial and error.
It’s never easy – but it is always rewarding.
I’m far from perfect. Sometimes, I just don’t know when to stop talking or how to not wear my heart on my sleeve. I tend to push the limits – to put it all out there without always fully thinking through the consequences of my speech or actions. But that’s just me, and it’s taken me quite a long time to realize who I am as a person and how I tick. Without testing my boundaries, how would I know my comfort zones?
But through it all – ups and downs, highs and lows, bitches and hoes – one lesson reigns true: if someone isn’t willing to accept you for who you really are, they aren’t worth your time.
It’s that old Dr. Seuss saying all over again. You know the one: “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
If you know me in “real life,” you know that I’m bubbly, witty and goofy – I’m always going up to random strangers and asking them intimate questions. Sometimes there’s alcohol involved and other times just water – but nonetheless, I’ve always had an innate passion for getting to know someone on a deep level. At the same time, though, I’ve learned how to self-disclose and remain “cool” simultaneously.
The entire process is usually exciting and thrilling and fun. And then there are the times where I meet someone and they turn out to be completely different than I thought. And it sucks.
Maybe it’s me getting ahead of myself or making myself too available, but more often than not, this happens with guys from clubs. I know, I know – how cliché, right? I meet a guy, “click” with him and all signals lead to “optimistic.” And then I find out who he really is – Douche-y McDoucherson. It’s only downhill from there.
I’ve deleted so many numbers, told so many guys where they can shove it – and for what? Self-preservation. Because, at the end of the day, I know who I am; I know what I want and I know exactly how to get it. The truth is: I always have!
It’s an amazing feeling to finally be totally comfortable in my own skin – regardless of my daily mood or appearance. I have “ugly” days too – but all the while I still know that I’m attractive inside and out and that I am a good “catch.”
When the right guy comes along who can trust, support and love me for being me –not who he wants me to become, but who I truly am – my life will be complete.
Don’t get the wrong impression, though. I’ve been single for four years, but I’m in no rush to devote myself to a guy who’s not entirely worth my time and energy. My cardinal rule is to never settle and I don’t intend on going back on that now.
The only way to move is forward along my journey in life, wishing and hoping that the right guy will come along (if he exists).
But if he doesn’t, at least I’m content with myself and confident enough to know that I’ll feel more fulfilled as an accomplished single man than as a used, jaded, broken-hearted, relationship-plagued attached one.
I’m not apologetic for who I am – and you shouldn’t be, either. Because if you aren’t yourself 100% of the time, then who are you?
February 14th sneaks up on me each and every year. It's like remembering I have a dentist's appointment or finding out that I bounced a check. Yeah, that bad.
But this year I'm trying to take a different approach. Key word: trying. I mean, it really is just another day. The holiday has no astronomical significance - and even if it did, would it matter? It's all arbitrary, really.
I was inspired to write by something that KarenSnyderDuke posted on Twitter. She said, "Resist hating Valentine's Day. If anything, it should be a simple reminder to love people every day—and tell them that you do."
And it really stuck with me.
If you think about it, we have several days - Father's and Mother's Days among them - where the whole point is to acknowledge your appreciation for a specific someone. For Valentine's Day, that specific someone just happens to be a significant other.
Whether you're married, widowed or single, V-Day represents so much more than cards and candy - it's about stopping for one day to pay attention to the people in our lives who add value and positivity.
Because as our lives become increasingly time-compressed, stress-filled and digitally-driven, we take the little treasures for granted.
The point is: tell someone you love them - or remind someone you've already told. Smile at a stranger. Say "please," "excuse me" and "thank you." Tell someone who's struggling "it's all going to be okay." And, most importantly, tell yourself that life is not about possessions and vanity, but rather about the journey upon which we are all so fortunate to embark.
So don't let tomorrow sneak up on you: face it head-on with a smile - not because you're pretending to be happy, but because you know that things could be worse.
Listen up! See, what I have to say is infinitely more important than whatever you're doing - 'cause I'm more important than you will ever be.Ever heard any or all of the above? Chances are, you have.
Like, I have this dream, and one day it's gonna come true! Have you seen my Twitter account or YouTube videos? I mean, come on! I totally deserve my own reality TV show!
It's safe to say that, at heart, I am a "city boy." The extent to which that's true, I'm not really sure. I do long for open fields with sunshine and a soccer ball, but then again I never took advantage of that in Miami. And I digress...
I've taken to this blog to face an inner struggle that I've been living ever since I moved from Miami to New York. The question I've invariably been unable to answer is: Did I make the right move?
I love New York - I do. This city is beautiful and inspiring and forces you to find the strength to pursue your dreams. But am I happy? Honestly, for the first time since I moved to the city, I feel comfortable. I have a great internship that pays me well and gives me good hours and allows me to take the reigns and build a social media communications department. And I have a great apartment and a sweet, caring roommate without whom I would not be where I am. But, personally, I'm lonely. I don't really have any friends here besides those I know from UM or Details. And I don't have the time or financial resources to go out and make them.
And then there's Miami. The grass is always greener, right? As much as I couldn't wait to get out of the 305... I can't wait to go back! I'm actually headed there on January 27th to spend nearly 6 days celebrating my 23rd birthday with some amazing friends whom I miss dearly. But I digress again...
The biggest trip-up I have when I ponder my time in Miami is: do I miss Miami, or do I miss UM? Do I miss my friends, or do I miss the city? It's really both. I miss the weather - terribly. I hate winter. I still don't have a proper winter coat. I miss throwing on shorts and a t-shirt and flip-flops and heading out the door. I miss knowing that it will rain almost every day between 2:00 and 3:30 pm. I especially miss the partying in Miami - what a great time! Miami was my playground - and that's just it... New York has not been fun by any means. It's been quite a struggle.
Let's face the facts: strip away the tropical location and great clubbing and the city of Miami has little offer, especially for someone as ambitious and dedicated as I am... at least in the fields that I want to pursue. Building a media and/or publishing career in Miami just sounds strange... unless you are doing it in Spanish.
So why did I ever leave Miami for New York, you ask? I had to get away. As the stubborn, headstrong guy I am, I had to prove it to myself that I can make it here. Like Jay-Z says, "If I make it here [in New York], I can make it anywhere."
Honestly, though, it was so much more than that. First, I wanted a city that would challenge me professionally and intellectually. I didn't think Miami could do that for me, and that's just my personal opinion. Second, I wanted a city with good public transportation. New York has arguably the best in the world. And Miami's? Well, it sucks. And I don't want to buy a car and pay for gas and insurance just to waste my life sitting on US-1 or I-95 N. Oh - and I want to be green! But public transportation SUCKS! You can't rock out to your favorite songs with your friends while you roll down the windows in mid-December and take in a beautiful sunset.
It really pains me to see my good friends have absolutely AMAZING apartments and actually pay LESS per month than I do! It's crazy. But then I read articles like this one and I feel comfortable that I chose New York to start my professional career in one of the worst recessions of the last century.
My solution? As the diplomatic person I am, I want both! Wouldn't it be amazing to split my time between New York and Miami? If and when that would be possible is yet to be determined.
But home is where the heart is. And my heart isn't in New York. It's spread out in the University Center at UM, around Lake Osceola, on the computers in the Ibis office, in the back booths at Moon, on the dance floor at Buck15, in the condos of Brickell and on the sand of the beach at 12th street. And you better bet I'm going to reclaim it next week, and do some serious thinking in the process.
The phenomenon of people begging in the New York City subway is not a new one. When one first moves here, it's a true rite of passage to be asked for change - and it's not always in the traditional way, either. There are musicians, dancers, bag ladies, drunkards - it's really a part of the "melting pot" charm offered by living in such a large metropolis.
But, it wasn't until I could barely afford the rent, ate ramen noodles nightly and lived paycheck-to-paycheck and penny-for-penny that I realized how truly scary it is to be in that situation: feeling lost and defeated, as if I had somehow fallen through the holes of the weak safety net of society.
False sense of security? You betcha.
Now, as I ride the "L" train back home each night, I turn down the volume on my iPod and listen to the "stories" told by these individuals - tales of military service, death in the family, the economy.
And I simultaneously feel two polar opposite emotions: sympathy and disgust (or maybe anger is a better word). As these people hop from train car to train car, I toil away in front of a computer, struggling to make a name for myself - to prove that I am "worthy" in the media industry. And I can't help but realize that these select few are probably able to scrounge up more change per hour than I am afforded as an intern.
So, which is more sad: struggling and working hard or struggling and hardly working?
At the end of the day, I still make progress: the net somehow pulls me above the scary divide between success and failure over which I dangle so desperately. And they slip through.
It is illegal to solicit someone for money in the subway here in NYC (see Section 1050.6 b of the NYCMTA's Rules of Conduct) and as a law-abiding citizen, striving and hoping for the best, I turn my cheek. But that doesn't mean I don't notice the beggars' plight. God bless them because I can't help but feel their pitiful pain.
"Responsibility. What's that? Responsibility. Not quite yet." - MxPx, "Responsibility"
I just read an article on the recent decline in public concern over climate change. And what a doozy it was! Be sure to read some of the comments below the actual post, as some of the readers have some fascinating commentary.
In recent years, we have all been bombarded with talk of carbon emissions, melting ice caps, rising oceans, increases in temperature, deforestation, ozone depletion... the list could go on forever. Oh, and don't forget Hollywood's continual exploitation of apocalyptic theories, a la "2012" (in theaters now), "The Day The Earth Stood Still," "Knowing" and even ABC's new prime-time hit, "V."
But what's the real problem? In my opinion, it rests with the acceptance of responsibility of our actions - a problem of much grander proportions that straddles many issues. And when I say "our actions," I'm not talking about the current generation, I'm referring to our actions as human beings and inhabitants of Earth, the only home we have.
Who cares about the specific levels of CO2 or the accelerating rate of climate change? We can argue the data for centuries. The point is that we need to accept responsibility for our actions and set a dignified example that we respect our planet. And the United States needs to be a leader in this process, NOT a follower as in recent years.
Create alternative energies, clean up our cities, plant a tree for every one that's cut down and, most importantly, change our current lifestyle to fit one that is in harmony with natural resources, as opposed to exploiting them for our own personal gain, which is what got us into this literal and figurative environmental "mess."
Thomas Friedman, critically-acclaimed New York Times writer and author of The World is Flat, wrote a piece for the NYT magazine, entitled "The Power of Green." It's a long article, but definitely worth the read. In it, Friedman discusses the importance of "the China price," a sustainable world economy and the perils associated with the USA's dependency on foreign oil. But the premise behind his entire argument is a proactive responsibility that is currently lacking in our society, and across the globe.
So as we continue to wage pointless political wars over whose side has more credibility - the left or the right, liberal or conservatives - we drive our gas-guzzling machines, hopelessly destroy our planet to drill for oil and build structures designed to crumble.
The carelessness never ends.
It's the "Boiling Frog Syndrome" screaming right in our faces, but to which we are unfortunately deaf. The only question left to ask is: will we be able to wake up in time to counteract the damage we have already done and slow the processes which we have placed in motion? We can only hope the answer is "yes," and do everything in our power to make changes in our own personal lives.
The decision is yours. Will you make it?
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The perfect look your weekend errands.
Denim jacket: Levi’s
Wallet: Jack Spade
Hoody: H&M
Shirt: Topman
Sneaker: Clae
Chinos: Scotch and Soda
A man stopped by the Applebees that fired that waitress for posting the receipt from a pastor who didn’t want to give her a tip. This was the letter he left. It reads:
Dear Applebee’s:
Let me cut to the chase: I find your termination of Ms. Chelsea Welch (an otherwise excellent and hard working employee) downright deplorable and appalling. As far as I’m concerned, she did absolutely NOTHING “wrong” when posting the image of that receipt with that insulting comment made by the customer Pastor Alois Bell.
First off, there was absolutely nothing mentioned in the employee handbook admonishing this kind of behavior, but more importantly (if you wish to argue otherwise) just how much “personal information” could have possibly been divulged to the public just by the customer’s signature? NOWHERE was the customer’s full name, credit card information, address or even YOUR restaurant’s name indicated on the photograph of that receipt which is far more incriminating and potentially damaging information than just a signature alone.
How is a mere signature going to help a criminal commit an act of identity theft? Local health inspectors and fire/safety inspectors have their signatures prominently displayed on certificates posted publicly by restaurants like yours… can THEY complain that you publicly displayed their “private information”?
As far as I’m concerned the only “damage” done was to the pastor’s shallow and “precious” ego. Nothing more, nothing less. She could’ve have simply ignored the post, not said anything and just went on with her cheap and inconsiderate, stingy ways. No one would’ve been the wiser. But no. She HAD to complain to the manager and have an otherwise fantastic employee fired simply because she was embarrassed.
Ms. Welch did absolutely NOTHING to publicly embarrass/humiliate her…. MS. BELL DID. And cared more about her ego than actually righting a wrong and offering to not only fairly tip what was rightfully due to Ms. Welch, but fight to get her re-hired. Ms. Alois Bell, the pathetic excuse of a human being she is, did absolutely NONE of that… and YOUR company has the NERVE to stand by her side???
As a part time pizza delivery driver myself, I KNOW first hand what its like to work for a less than minimum wage depending almost entirely on tips just to pay basic necessities such as food and rent. Yeah, I get the “average” principle and try not to take the occasional stuff so seriously, however, on some really bad days when I have runs that I have to drive far, using MY personal vehicle and MY personal gas, and get nothing, its not only very frustrating but completely unfair that I get taxed at federal minimum wage rate when [I’m] actually making LESS in that hour delivering to these inconsiderate customers who have no clue as to what SERVICE is all about. Essentially getting taxed on money that I’m NOT making. And THIS is what your company CONDONES and is PROUD OF?!?!?!
Long story short: I have come to your Easy Brunswick/Milltown restaurant NOT to order anything…but to simply use the restroom, get my complimentary water with lemon and just LEAVE but not without generously tipping your server for doing nothing more than bringing me menus and water.
Furthermore I promised the server that should this letter appear online and go viral, that I’ll be returning to the store and DOUBLING his/her tip. And since he/she has my full permission and consent to post this letter online with MY NAME and signature fully visible, there isn’t ANYTHING that you can do about it.
Yours very sincerely and respectfully,
A now FORMER customer of yours,
Michael T. Zybura (attached $10)
(source)
Well, let’s make this thing go viral then. :)
I love the internet age.
DAMN.
Mobstr’s Street Art: “Paint Me White Again”
British street artist Mobstr spray paints on blank walls throughout his home city of Newcastle are intelligent and thought-provoking—though entirely illegal. Newcastle, which is “crawling with police and cameras,” has adopted a zero-tolerance policy to street art/graffiti, but Mobstr does not let this deter him. If anything, it seems to fuel his creative streak. He states that within just a couple of weeks, the city had effectively erased his painting, but the garbage remained. Seems people are okay with garbage, but not okay with street art.
I fucking love street art like this. It’s so witty.
The lobby at 505 Fifth Avenue is just one of the little-known art sites in New York showcased in our slideshow.
Really cool to walk by this at night. Usually I’m on a tear from the D train trying to get to Grand Central on time but I always try to take a peek.