The Cornucopia Radio Show

Declan Deck has invented something which he feels will change the very nature of what we consider 'standing' and what we consider 'sitting'. He calls it an easy-to-erect-and-collapse-one-size-fits-all-canvas-covered-chair (although he’s flexible on future name changes). He thinks that perhaps a soon-to-be-launched, metal-clad, yet unsinkable boat (featuring four funnels, five decks & one lifeboat), will be the perfect place to demonstrate his new sessio-esque device. But somewhere, out in the Mid-Atlantic, sits a lonely and tone-deaf iceberg who has a very different idea…

What better way to celebrate the upcoming 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic (and the thousands of passengers that died), than our new comedy podcast called the ‘Tight Ann Hic’, written by our resident musical hall fan, Chris Bellamy.

Moments can occur when you least expect them, existing for only the briefest of instances; often leaving you wondering if such an experience could ever happen again. They might find you alone, happy, excited or regretful. But remember, they will find you... Rita Fosdyke is in her early sixties and sits alone in a room. She’s dressed very elegantly, sitting in front of a mirror and applying the final touches to her make-up. A beautiful vase of flowers sits upon her desk and nearby, a hat waits patiently upon its stand. Elsewhere, David Mackenzie sits alone in a modest living room. In front of him, on an old stained coffee table, sits an urn. It’s lid awkwardly taped shut by sticky tape. Lastly, Audrey Williams finds hereself walking down a drab, grey hallway within her local police station. Alongside her walks an officer who struggles to hide a sarcastic smirk from crawling across his face. They turn a corner and enter a small white room; containing nothing but a few plastic chairs. Slowly, they all begin to speak.

Moments can occur when you least expect them, existing for only the briefest of instances; often leaving you wondering if such an experience could ever happen again. They might find you alone, happy, excited or regretful. But remember, they will find you... Rita Fosdyke is in her early sixties and sits alone in a room. She’s dressed very elegantly, sitting in front of a mirror and applying the final touches to her make-up. A beautiful vase of flowers sits upon her desk and nearby, a hat waits patiently upon its stand. Elsewhere, David Mackenzie sits alone in a modest living room. In front of him, on an old stained coffee table, sits an urn. It’s lid awkwardly taped shut by sticky tape. Lastly, Audrey Williams finds hereself walking down a drab, grey hallway within her local police station. Alongside her walks an officer who struggles to hide a sarcastic smirk from crawling across his face. They turn a corner and enter a small white room; containing nothing but a few plastic chairs. Slowly, they all begin to speak.

In this months podcast we’ll check out the latest breakthrough in artificial intelligence, have a go at restarting the cold war, see if pressing a button could really get you a cool million dollars and finally, we'll ask what would have happened if Juliet had settled down and married Romeo. It’s all here on the “Cornucopia Radio Show Podcast”: The Home of Imagination!

In this months podcast we’ll check out the latest breakthrough in artificial intelligence, have a go at restarting the cold war, see if pressing a button could really get you a cool million dollars and finally, we'll ask what would have happened if Juliet had settled down and married Romeo. It’s all here on the “Cornucopia Radio Show Podcast”: The Home of Imagination!

How simple is it to leave behind a place that you know so well? A place that you built with your own two hands? Even if everyone else had already given up and moved on; could you still allow yourself to just walk away and forget it was ever there? Could you start again from scratch somewhere new? Of course, you know that if you stayed you’d be alone. But at the same time, if you left; who would know this place was ever here to begin with...? For Tom, that place was Myspace, and deep down he knew he'd never leave...

How simple is it to leave behind a place that you know so well? A place that you built with your own two hands? Even if everyone else had already given up and moved on; could you still allow yourself to just walk away and forget it was ever there? Could you start again from scratch somewhere new? Of course, you know that if you stayed you’d be alone. But at the same time, if you left; who would know this place was ever here to begin with...? For Tom, that place was Myspace, and deep down he knew he'd never leave...

Outsiders might see the magic forest as an enchanted place; full of amazement and wonder. But for the people that have to walk these cobbles? Well, they see it all a bit differently. They know all to well that you don’t have to scratch very far to discover the criminal scum lurking behind every toadstool. So here we find ourselves; outside a little wooden cabin, deep within the magic forest. As unbeknownst to them, two law enforcement officers are about to crack the case of their lives...

Outsiders might see the magic forest as an enchanted place; full of amazement and wonder. But for the people that have to walk these cobbles? Well, they see it all a bit differently. They know all to well that you don’t have to scratch very far to discover the criminal scum lurking behind every toadstool. So here we find ourselves; outside a little wooden cabin, deep within the magic forest. As unbeknownst to them, two law enforcement officers are about to crack the case of their lives...

We all knew the commander wanted medals. But us? All we wanted was to be in our homes, in front of the telly. We knew he wanted recognition, but was it really worth another pointless Argentine death on your hands? Back home, if one teenager is killed it’ll probably make the headlines. Over here; for us? It’s just another day at the office. How much blood has to be spilled before this thing ends?

The ‘Bluff Cove Disaster’ is our new radio play; taking place during the end of the ‘Falklands War’. As one man's obsession leads to a mistake that no one will ever forget...

After vandalising a local bowling green; Michael, a young troubled teen is forced to help repair the damage he’s done and learn the implications of his actions. While there, he finds himself taken under the wing of ‘Ted’; who wants to help Michael get his life back on track. But life; like the game of bowls, isn’t as simple as it first seems.

After vandalising a local bowling green; Michael, a young troubled teen is forced to help repair the damage he’s done and learn the implications of his actions. While there, he finds himself taken under the wing of ‘Ted’; who wants to help Michael get his life back on track. But life; like the game of bowls, isn’t as simple as it first seems.

Thanks to Harry, is a new production written by Phil Ryan from Storm-Productions and produced by the creative team here at Cornucopia Radio. It tells the tale of someone who uses his skills as a magician to help create a better life from himself, his friends and the woman he loves. Because remember, sometimes what you see isn't necessarily what you see...

Thanks to Harry, is a new production written by Phil Ryan from Storm-Productions and produced by the creative team here at Cornucopia Radio. It tells the tale of someone who uses his skills as a magician to help create a better life from himself, his friends and the woman he loves. Because remember, sometimes what you see isn't necessarily what you see...

If you’re reading this; then we’d like to give you a little bit of advice. You should really download this podcast. Yes granted, we’re not that impartial, especially considering as it’s our own product. But where else are you going to find a comedy sketch podcast featuring: interplanetary warfare, philosophy funk parties, Antarctic-treks, the damaged mind of Godzilla, time paradoxes and an exclusive relaxation mixtape by Michael Bay? Don’t bother answering by the way as we’re being rhetorical. You’re not going to find it anywhere but here!! http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk

If you’re reading this; then we’d like to give you a little bit of advice. You should really download this podcast. Yes granted, we’re not that impartial, especially considering as it’s our own product. But where else are you going to find a comedy sketch podcast featuring: interplanetary warfare, philosophy funk parties, Antarctic-treks, the damaged mind of Godzilla, time paradoxes and an exclusive relaxation mixtape by Michael Bay? Don’t bother answering by the way as we’re being rhetorical. You’re not going to find it anywhere but here!! http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk

Some might have thought these stories lost for an eternity, but we’ve found them! So we’re proud to present, a new selection of some of the most unusual and amazing adventures to befall our favourite pipe smoking detective: ‘Sherlock Holmes’. Written and performed by the ever insightful Christopher Bellamy.

Some might have thought these stories lost for an eternity, but we’ve found them! So we’re proud to present, a new selection of some of the most unusual and amazing adventures to befall our favourite pipe smoking detective: ‘Sherlock Holmes’. Written and performed by the ever insightful Christopher Bellamy.

‘Fractured Lives’ explores how the First World War literally fractured lives. The war’s many casualties were not just amongst the dead. There were the men maimed and disabled with scars that would blight the rest of their lives. The play also has resonance for the present day, as wars and international conflicts continue to fracture lives, leaving scars and injuries that can last a lifetime. Today men still return from war’s ‘theatre’ to play out new roles that they have not chosen.

‘Fractured Lives’ explores how the First World War literally fractured lives. The war’s many casualties were not just amongst the dead. There were the men maimed and disabled with scars that would blight the rest of their lives. The play also has resonance for the present day, as wars and international conflicts continue to fracture lives, leaving scars and injuries that can last a lifetime. Today men still return from war’s ‘theatre’ to play out new roles that they have not chosen.

Have you ever felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, the chills going up your spine until you feel like you have to shake this feeling off your back? No matter how silly it feels? Or how about those times when you feel like someone is looking over your shoulder? So much so, that you can almost feel someone breathing down your neck? Listening to this podcast, as you are right now; alone in a darkened room, the disturbing feelings become stronger than ever and so intense that you feel the need to keep looking behind you; just to reassure yourself that you’re still alone. And that’s when it will strike.

Have you ever felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, the chills going up your spine until you feel like you have to shake this feeling off your back? No matter how silly it feels? Or how about those times when you feel like someone is looking over your shoulder? So much so, that you can almost feel someone breathing down your neck? Listening to this podcast, as you are right now; alone in a darkened room, the disturbing feelings become stronger than ever and so intense that you feel the need to keep looking behind you; just to reassure yourself that you’re still alone. And that’s when it will strike.

Steven Hutchinson was on his way to meet an old friend; somebody from his past for whom a dark secret had once been hidden. Yet, as he crossed the road and approached the location they'd arranged to meet, he found himself trying to comprehend a myriad of emotions and questions he wasn’t sure he ever wanted the answer to. He never saw the car that hit him that day. The car that killed him... A Grave Reunion is the new Poetry-Play from Nick Card, telling the story of four friends coming back together again after ten years to morn the passing of somebody from their past. Somebody who is important to all of them...

Steven Hutchinson was on his way to meet an old friend; somebody from his past for whom a dark secret had once been hidden. Yet, as he crossed the road and approached the location they'd arranged to meet, he found himself trying to comprehend a myriad of emotions and questions he wasn’t sure he ever wanted the answer to. He never saw the car that hit him that day. The car that killed him... A Grave Reunion is the new Poetry-Play from Nick Card, telling the story of four friends coming back together again after ten years to morn the passing of somebody from their past. Somebody who is important to all of them...

Who is faster than a speeding stock market crash, more powerful than a government bailout, and able to leap tall employment figures in a single bound? Yes! It's Commander Awesome & Liberty Lad, and in times of severe fiduciary strife; they are the only superhero duo you will ever need (especially if you're also a keen purchaser of high quality ex-superhero items on ebay)

Who is faster than a speeding stock market crash, more powerful than a government bailout, and able to leap tall employment figures in a single bound? Yes! It's Commander Awesome & Liberty Lad, and in times of severe fiduciary strife; they are the only superhero duo you will ever need (especially if you're also a keen purchaser of high quality ex-superhero items on ebay)

'Martians Never Die' is the next in our series of updated radio sci-fi pieces from the forties and fifties. Re-recorded with new actors, modern sound effects and atmospheric music. During these productions we try to stick to the original script as closely as possible; in-turn seeking to create modern, yet strangely old fashioned pieces of radio drama. What is the ideal bodyguard? The most ferocious looking? The most efficient killer? Or the most devoted? On Earth, you might find a combination of all three, but it’d never be as effective as the curious creature which came back from Mars with Dr. Curtis, the first man to step foot on the Red Planet...

'Martians Never Die' is the next in our series of updated radio sci-fi pieces from the forties and fifties. Re-recorded with new actors, modern sound effects and atmospheric music. During these productions we try to stick to the original script as closely as possible; in-turn seeking to create modern, yet strangely old fashioned pieces of radio drama. What is the ideal bodyguard? The most ferocious looking? The most efficient killer? Or the most devoted? On Earth, you might find a combination of all three, but it’d never be as effective as the curious creature which came back from Mars with Dr. Curtis, the first man to step foot on the Red Planet...

CAST: Karen Claire Hodgson Julie Renaté Reynolds CREDITS: Written by Peter Wilson & Peter Beeson Music: An Angel, Ameliorate: by Falling You & Mystery: by The Headroom Project Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston Copyright ©2010 – A Cornucopia Production

It was a long, late night and Julie finds herself being woken up from a dreamworld by Karen, her best friend since childhood. Together, on this bright morning they will discuss many things, including their past, present and future. And maybe they’ll find out why Julie left the front door unlocked...

‘Digging Deep’ tells the story of a community and a friendship that struggled to survive during the 1984-85 ‘Miner’s Strike’. Two people coming together for the first time in 25 years. Remembering the decisions that they had to make and the consequences that were bound to follow...

‘Digging Deep’ tells the story of a community and a friendship that struggled to survive during the 1984-85 ‘Miner’s Strike’. Two people coming together for the first time in 25 years. Remembering the decisions that they had to make and the consequences that were bound to follow...

It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now; as we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast! This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots. Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber...

It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now; as we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast! This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots. Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber...

It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word "Νενικήκαμεν", meaning 'We have won'. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion. Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus...

It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word "Νενικήκαμεν", meaning 'We have won'. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion. Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus...

The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening. So, let us ‘force your opening’ with the “Free by Three” special. Starting with “Falling”, a tale about the denial of gravity. Then later on you’ll hear us helping the public with “The Poetry Technical Support Line” and lastly, we’ll tell you about an object which everybody truly desires. We call it, “The Macguffin”

The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening.

We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig... in a bowl of soup....yeah that’s right...soup! Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you? We’ll knock you down onto the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and 'Junking the Junk'. You won’t know what hit you. Finally you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist...haven’t you?

We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig... in a bowl of soup....yeah that’s right...soup! Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you? We’ll knock you down onto the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and 'Junking the Junk'. You won’t know what hit you. Finally you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist...haven’t you?

Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else. Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his. Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might.... They might...

Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else. Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his. Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might.... They might...

‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’. Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared - Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both?

‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’. Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared - Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both?

I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no… I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him. However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret. Also, I had always assumed that it was something you had to buy. I mean how could you not? But the stories I had heard or read, seemed to suggest that some people had been given it, some people had found it, but most worryingly of all; a lot of people had stolen it. Once I knew this, I of course realised why everybody was always so mysterious about whether they had it or not. To admit you have it, or to show it to other people was almost like asking somebody to take it from you. So, as I left my teenage years and strode into adulthood, I found myself living in a world obsessed by it. Despite the fact that it’s image has never been worse. After all, as an object it is often faulty and tends to look out of place no matter where you keep it. As a service it is often slow and rarely up to the task at hand and as an idea, perhaps it’s time has passed. Still, maybe I’m wrong. Many will tell you it’s the greatest thing humanity has ever held in its grasp. It saves many more lives than it kills. It’s brought so many of us together who would otherwise be alone, and the amazing advancements in production, means it’s now small enough to hold in your hand. I don’t have it in case any of you are thinking that. Although maybe that’s just what I want you to think. If I did have it, wouldn’t this be the perfect way to hide it from you? Create a webpage and write as if I have no clue or desire. Maybe, it’s sat next to me as I type these words…Maybe. Whether you think I have it or not. Whether anybody has it, or whether something you’ve never really seen, can ever really exist. Keep in mind, there are millions of ‘things’ you can have, so why limit yourself to just one. I guess ultimately you’ve just got to learn think for yourself and not follow a “McGuffin”

I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no… I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him. However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret. Also, I had always assumed that it was something you had to buy. I mean how could you not? But the stories I had heard or read, seemed to suggest that some people had been given it, some people had found it, but most worryingly of all; a lot of people had stolen it. Once I knew this, I of course realised why everybody was always so mysterious about whether they had it or not. To admit you have it, or to show it to other people was almost like asking somebody to take it from you. So, as I left my teenage years and strode into adulthood, I found myself living in a world obsessed by it. Despite the fact that it’s image has never been worse. After all, as an object it is often faulty and tends to look out of place no matter where you keep it. As a service it is often slow and rarely up to the task at hand and as an idea, perhaps it’s time has passed. Still, maybe I’m wrong. Many will tell you it’s the greatest thing humanity has ever held in its grasp. It saves many more lives than it kills. It’s brought so many of us together who would otherwise be alone, and the amazing advancements in production, means it’s now small enough to hold in your hand. I don’t have it in case any of you are thinking that. Although maybe that’s just what I want you to think. If I did have it, wouldn’t this be the perfect way to hide it from you? Create a webpage and write as if I have no clue or desire. Maybe, it’s sat next to me as I type these words…Maybe. Whether you think I have it or not. Whether anybody has it, or whether something you’ve never really seen, can ever really exist. Keep in mind, there are millions of ‘things’ you can have, so why limit yourself to just one. I guess ultimately you’ve just got to learn think for yourself and not follow a “McGuffin”