chromatography

As mornings go, this one wasn’t great. I spent an inordinate amount of time fixing a flat tyre last night, only to find another puncture this morning. So I decided to take the bus. Which I missed by a few minutes because the timetable had changed. So I called a taxi. Nobody picked up. I walked to the taxi station. Nobody was there. At this point my first class had already begun and it’s almost an hour’s walk from door to door. By the time I got there, I’d missed my first class completely and had only ten minutes left of the second, which was incidentally my last lesson with my favourite class.

But then they gave me these.

“On ne t’oubliera jamais. On t’aime.”

“We will never forget you. We love you.”

I cried.

Graffiti around Lyon.

Skiing in L’Alpe d’Huez.

Hello Rébéca,

Merry Christmas to you.

Love, Hug.

(His name is Hugo.)

“These little candies are a common holiday sight all over France, and especially in the Lyon region where they originated. Legend has it that the chocolate delicacies in attractive, curly fringed wrappings originated in the confectionery shop of a man named Papillot. They were invented by one of his workers who had the idea of creating something pretty to charm a beautiful lady working on the floor above. In addition to being pleasing to the eye, the confections’ wrappers contain riddles or jokes on the inside, which were originally words of love for the young worker’s sweetheart. Papillot, upon noticing these messages would have had them sent back, but eventually he saw the marketing possiblities of the frilly wrapped treats, as did his customers. Thus the papillote was born.”

http://www.frenchinstitutens.com/blog/?p=113

The street lamp outside my window makes for some awesomely creepy lighting.

Just before my CM2 class (10/11 year-olds), a little girl came up to me and wordlessly handed me the picture at the top. My heart just about melted. Then a little boy from CE2 (8/9 years-old) ran up to me and gave me two hand drawn flags. I want to put these on my wall and never take them down.

For anyone who asked me why I chose primary over secondary, this is it in a nutshell.

We’re on a taaaaaaaaank.

One year ago today, I joined the destructoid.com forums. And I’ve never looked back. Here’s a picspam of sorts detailing my antics over the past year. To all those who’ve entered my life as a result of this wonderful community, you’re aces. Thank you.

Eurogamer 2010. I wasn’t even going to meet up with these wonderful people, being a newb who’d joined mere weeks before and knew only Joe (Tarvu). But meeting up with Joe led to karaoke, and the rest is history.

December - Birmingham. After Eurogamer and as I got to know the EUFNF lot a little better, I suggested hitting the Christmas markets in Birmingham. A few days before Christmas, and in snow that meant that unfortunately Joe couldn’t join us, Adam (Death by Lumber), Sam (Mighty Hatman) and Sully (Scroll) milled around the Bull Ring, saw Tron: Legacy in IMAX 3D and trolled the Apple Store. Sam was exhausted and slightly wary of the strange people from the internet, but I’ll never forget how easily we were able to strike up a conversation about whatever inane crap came into our heads. This was also the start of a long-running trend involving Sam’s inability to use public transport effectively.

February - London. Sam had an open day at QANTAS in London, so, like the derranged internet family we are, we decided to make a day of it. Joe and Sam hadn’t actually met before (see: snow) and their meeting in Euston was gaytastic. We ate at Bodeans (which quickly became a tradition of ours), hit up the arcade at Trocadero, and went to a bar where Sam spilled a Guinness. Oh, the picture above? Don’t ask. I’m in there somewhere. See if you can find me. As should have been predicted, Sam missed his last train home, and I missed mine to help him out. We slept on Adam’s floor and Sam hogged the duvet.

April - London. By this point the EUFNF meet ups were every other month and after a couple of the Dtoid UK guys asked to join, we figured we’d open it up to everybody. We sat in the sunshine in Hyde Park, drinking and playing frisbee, before heading to Bodeans and back to Adam’s for Mortal Kombat and Rock Band. Nakedness was had (see: JJMcCallum) and crimes against music were committed (see: Batthink), but great times were had by all. In a shock twist, Sam got on his train in time.

June - Northampton. June was a Skypetoid meet up born of the natural human response to your parents being away for the night. Namely mine. People headed over on trains from all over the country, even Jimmy from Scotland and mollygos who was over from the States, to my humble abode in the Midlands. Words fail me when I attempt to describe this weekend, but it think it was summarised best in my Brournal entry when I made a passing reference to a weekend spent in various states of sobriety and undress. We (they) trampolined while mostly naked. We (they) threw a copy of Sonic (2006) over the roof of my house. We ate breakfast double downs that have inevitably shortened our lifespans. Sam also made it onto his train. Again.

August - gamescom. The world’s largest interactive media convention. Don’t mention the war.

I love you all and my life is better for having you in it.

Also, cocks.

What kind of nutjob applies for a programme where you have Mandarin lessons from 09:00-12:15 for almost three weeks during the summer holidays? Rebecca Caine, present. I did enjoy the lesson, though, as I’m prone to doing on account of being a total nerd. Today was mostly a review session, which was fine, but Jesus, I need to practice my characters. I knew a couple of hundred at one point, but without constant practice it’s something you quickly forget. But I’m not going to be able to learn that much in a month, so I think it’s more important that I just practice speaking to people.

Today was the first of the culture classes run by the student volunteers and I was in the music class. We were treated to various pieces of music performed on traditional Chinese instruments such as the pipa (琵琶), erhu (二胡) and dizi (笛子), and each musician was incredibly talented. I’m going to have to upload the videos when I have a better connection because my meagre ramblings just won’t do them justice. We spoke to the students afterwards and most had been learning their instruments for 15 years or so. Boy, did it show. They didn’t play with sheet music either, but their timing was perfect, even when playing in a large group without a conductor. I particularly enjoyed the Chinese rendition of ‘Jingle Bells’ as well, which I will also upload at some point.

We were even allowed to try out the instruments, though I don’t think I’ll be picking one up any time soon. One guy, however - Esteban - picked up the erhu, a two-stringed, violin-like instrument, incredibly quickly and launched into ‘Mary had a Little Lamb’. Aren’t talented people annoying?

In the evening we headed to Xintiandi (新天地) for dinner. It’s a really trendy mix (can one even say ‘trendy’ without sounding like an old fart trying to sound cool?) of old and new buildings, and full of cafés, restaurants and shopping malls.

There’s an interesting section on Wikipedia about its redevelopment, though, which I was unaware of at the time:

The area was developed by Shui On Land during the re-development of the surrounding area. Some houses in Xintiandi were then limited (and not renovated, unlike the Chinese government and the real estate agency official version), in order to implant an art gallery, cafes, and restaurants. Many tour groups both domestic and from abroad also visit Xintiandi as one of the main attractions in Shanghai.

The Xintiandi redevelopment was designed by Benjamin T. Wood and Nikken Sekkei International. The urban renewal is considered one of the first examples of the placemaking approach in China.)

This construction displaced 3,500 shanghainese families.

I can’t help but look back on it a little less fondly knowing that thousands of people were displaced for a few art galleries.

We ended up picking a well-to-do Peking duck restaurant for dinner, and quickly learnt that our duck back home appears to have lost something in translation. For a start, it’s the skin that’s the delicacy. Most of the meat is left on the carcass and taken away, and the skin is eaten with the familiar cucumber, spring onions and hoi sin sauce in the pancakes. There’s no wild shredding with a fork here either; slicing the skin is an art and the chefs are trained to do it.

We ambled about Xintiandi afterwards with the Chinese students (who I have completely fallen in love with already, by the way) and I was messing around with slow exposure shots on my SLR. I am by no means a professional, but a job that involves strolling along the streets of Shanghai with a big-ass camera would be perfect. If anyone could see to that, that would be great, thanks.

We also checked out a MacDonald’s, which are sadly everywhere. They’re a lot fancier here, though, with a McCafé and everything. I also fell asleep. In MacDonald’s. It appears jet lag and I are getting very well-acquainted.

What do the Chinese eat for breakfast? Well, I’ve had two breakfasts here and I’m not particularly sure myself. Round two: steamed bread with what I presume was sweet bean paste, sweet rice, fried vegetables, fried rice noodles, watermelon and cake. And bacon. You could tell the English delegates had arrived from the presence of chicken nuggets and chips too: they weren’t here yesterday. I solemnly swear that I will not ingest a single chip until I am back home. I didn’t fly several thousand miles to eat chicken nuggets either.

The Mandarin placement test was pretty unremarkable: a five minute conversation with two volunteer Chinese students. It didn’t go spectacularly badly, though I know I bit more than I was able to convey when on the spot with a camera in my face. Still, I wasn’t shunted back to beginners, so at least that’s something.

A few of us went to the supermarket and had a proper look around this time, buying anything that looked remotely bizarre. The selection of crisps in particular is quite staggering. Helen, Sophie and Rob bought lemon tea, blueberry and cucumber crisps respectively, and they weren’t actually half bad. Well, Rob may not agree. Again, the prices are hard to comprehend; I bought a whole carrier bag of bits and pieces for about £3.50.

The next couple of hours were spent socialising with the student volunteers. They’d set up some activities in a function hall in the hotel: paper cutting, traditional Chinese board games, a game with chopsticks, and what will soon be my next obsession. The aim is to kick a bunch of brightly coloured feathers weighted down with a circular disc of metal into a cardboard box, scoring a point each time you did so. The box was quickly ignored, however, and turned into a two hour game of hackey sack. Receiving a pass on one foot, kicking it on to the other and then kicking it on is probably my greatest life achievement to date. I don’t know what they’re called, but I’m bringing them back to the UK, making it an Olympic sport and winning gold.

The other students here are fantastic. There’s a few introverts, but most are outgoing and it’s easy to make friends. I guess you have to be to do a programme like this. Most of the people I’ve been hanging out with have been guys, Scots and outrageous girls. Looking at my friends now, I’m seeing a pattern forming. I don’t dislike this.

Steven, one of the Chinese student volunteers, and a couple of others took a large group of us into the centre of Shanghai in the evening. The metro station is a few minutes walk from campus and the network puts the London Underground to shame. It’s clean, modern, fully air conditioned and a fraction of the price. It cost me about £0.70 return with four stops each way. Like most things in Shanghai, the scale of it is incredible. With the security measures and bag scanners, it feels more like an airport. It was a ten minute walk just to change lines and there are tens of exits; the student volunteers were even getting confused and they live here. Stepping out of the metro station was a surreal moment.

People’s Square is the very centre of Shanghai and I’ve never seen a city so alive and vibrant, London being one of the few that even comes close. The streets are packed with people and sight seeing carts honk their way through them. Neon lights are everywhere and high rise buildings are the norm. Shops are open late into the night - well past 22:00 - and people were gathered just to watch elderly people ballroom dancing in the street. Somebody compared it to Picadilly Circus, which is an apt description if you scale it up twenty or so times.

I knew it wouldn’t be long until we ran into the old language barrier, and we ran into it hard when we went out for dinner, even with Steven in tow. Three of us wanted to order three cans of 7Up and some steamed crab dumplings to share between Rob and I - the heat is playing havoc with our appetites - and even with pointing at the menu, saying the respective numbers of each in Mandarin and Steven chiming in too, we ended up with five cans of 7Up and too much crockery. It was pretty funny and I ended up just giving the spare cans away, but I’m really anxious to learn some more Mandarin to avoid this happening again in the future. I’m not used to being the hapless tourist. Some phrases I do understand, however. People energetically giving out leaflets are everywhere and I was politely declining left and right. One lady exclaimed “外国人” in a low mutter after I did so: “foreign people”. Hilarious.

We walked to The Bund (外滩) after dinner and this is basically a group of high rise buildings (the Television Tower among them) lit up alongside the river. It’s an awesome sight, though there’s so much light pollution it’s a real bitch to get a decent picture. Fun to try, though.

I’m of a fairly average build, though tall and more on the lanky side than overweight. In short, I’m pretty fat by Chinese standards. That coupled with the humidity that makes straightening my hair as futile as painting the Forth Bridge, and I’m rather unattractive right now. So I’d like to thank the Chinese guy who asked for a photo with me: sir, you genuinely made my day. It’s really common to ask for pictures with Westerners here, or even for them to ask you to hold their baby. Fairly bizzare, but quite fun, at least at first.

What do the Chinese eat for breakfast? Well, I’ve had a breakfast here and I’m not particularly sure myself. It’s not your usual continental, that much is obvious. I had fried rice noodles, green tea cakes, steamed bread and watermelon, but there’s dumplings, seaweed and green bean soup in addition to the familiar toast. I also had bacon, because I’m so very cultured like that.

I’d been told to expect it, but you really are quite self-conscious as a foreigner in China. I spent most of breakfast being stared at, and quite openly. It’s not uncomfortable, just a little odd. The Chinese student volunteers are lovely, though; real examples of Chinese hospitality. Incredibly friendly and forthcoming.

I’m probably going to die here, and I say that with no shred of hyperbole. People walk in the middle of the road and cars just drive around them. Everyone gets around by a moped/bicycle hybrid (a cigarette in one hand and a mobile phone in the other, naturally) and careen about all over the place. Lanes are but a guideline and horns mean nothing here.

One thing I can’t get over, though, is the prices. Obviously it’s all relative: wages are lower here and products aren’t as cheap for the average citizen, but for a Westerner with disposable income, it’s obscene. A bottle of Sprite is 35p and 12 bottles of water are 90p. You can get a cooked meal for under a pound. I’m probably going to come home the size of a house, much to my mother’s chagrin. Or I would, if the heat hadn’t made me lose my appetite.

We went out to a Korean restaurant on campus for dinner, and I had a huge bowl of Udon noodles for £1.50. I don’t think I’ll ever get around the cost of living here. In China you often pay before the meal, presumably to eliminate the possibility of skipping the bill. I got to use my admittedly limited Chinese to order too, which was nice.

We had been warned about the torrential rain and they really weren’t kidding. As we left the restaurant it was pounding it down and we hadn’t brought anything waterproof. It was quite a walk back to the hotel, so we didn’t bother even trying to stay dry. After the humidity of the day it was quite welcome, even if my hair was not.

Placement test for my Mandarin classes tomorrow. Eep.

I can’t say that Russia was ever a place I wanted to visit. And after spending five hours in a muggy airport, it’s still not.

The flight to Russia wasn’t too bad, in all fairness. I was expecting a lot worse from a cheap Russian airline. Like a Soviet shack with wings. The flight attendants were undeniably Russian, however: attentive, but stony-faced. The only smiles I saw were from one flight attendant to another. I assume they were boning.

The sunrise, however, was incredible. You haven’t truly seen one until you’ve seen it at 35000 feet - an intense red cutting across the clouds. It was a thing of poetry. But I am no poet and I could have punted the bitch who closed the window shutter.

Finding the terminal wasn’t an issue. Finding the gate was. The details weren’t updated until about an hour and a half before the flight, leaving us to wonder if we were even in the right terminal. Nobody spoke English either, which I can’t fault them for as my Russian is non-existent, but they were spectacularly unhelpful.

I slept for most of the flight to Shanghai, which surprised me, but it’s probably a good thing given the peculiarity of the in-flight entertainment: a Russian dub of Wall Street 2 and Tom and Jerry cartoons. I spent the little time I was awake reading Sherlock Holmes and blanching at Russians that looked like they were straight out of a Soviet-era film. Alexander was particularly terrifying.

It amuses me that my first thought upon entering China was not marvelling at the wonders of the Far East: their culture, technological advances and rapid industrialisation. In the intense heat and humidity, even at midnight local time, my first intelligible thought was, “Fuck me, Gavin would die.” Hi, Gavin.

The ride to East China Normal University was about 40 minutes from the airport and my first impressions of the city were that it was fairly unremarkable. The high rise buildings wouldn’t have looked out of place in any other world metropolis. I’ve never been to Manhattan or Tokyo, but I imagine it’s much the same at first glance. The sheer scope of Shanghai is hard to convey, though. The roads are all raised and winding, like an obscenely large Spaghetti Junction. The lanes are split into vehicles of different weights and the speed zones are adjusted accordingly, though given Chinese road safety I wouldn’t be surprised if there was little regulation. The minibus didn’t have any seatbelts.

Every now and again you’d see a building with some character, but there’s adverts for iPhones and Tescos, and a 24 hour McDonalds. The road signs are in both Mandarin and English. The influence of globalisation is pretty prevalent here.

The hotel we’re staying in on campus is nice, though bizarre to a Westerner like myself. There’s a shoe shining service alongside your usual laundry service, and the items in the mini bar are less than £1, instead of a tenner for a bottle of water. My feet go over the edge of the bed, though, and it seems like the shower is intended for people a foot shorter than me, which I find amusing.

An odd bunch, this family of mine.

My deluxe Bon Iver LP bundle arrived today, perfectly timed to arrive on the release date. I’ve been waiting for this album since I saw them live (and first row!) in 2009 and I’ve been avoiding the various live streams on the internet for a couple of weeks now. I’ve got family arriving in twenty minutes, but before the day is through I’m putting it on my iPod and hiding away to listen to it without distraction. Can’t wait.

The answer involves both your face and your mother.

Awesome song, awesome video. Sprites from throughout pop culture and video game history, and a hell of a catchy tune.

When we come together
No matter the weather
We gonna love each other till the end of time
Till the end of time