Posts
People who feel any sort of regret where you are concerned will suppose you are angry, and they will see anger in what you do, even if you’re just quietly going about a life of your own choosing. They will make you doubt yourself, which, depending on cases, can be a severe distraction and a waste of time. This is a thing I wish I had understood much earlier than I did.
A playground, in a park. One lady
raises to the top of the slide a ball
of newspaper, gives it a kiss:
“Ready … set … go!” Another holds
a lampshade in her hands, smoothing
its chenille bangs. “My daughter,
you should see her dance—
she’s already won two prizes.”
“Did I tell you mine—he’s three—can already write?”
A girl, in line behind them with her son,
is listening. She tightens her grip on his hand,
hoping no one
will notice he’s real, and alive.
(via blogut)
“In the multiple peregrinations of love, Sabina was quick to recognize the echoes of larger loves and desires. The large ones, particularly if they had not died a natural death, never died completely and left reverberations. Once interrupted, broken artificially, suffocated accidentally, they continued to exist in separate fragments and endless smaller echoes.
[…]A partial resemblance could stir what remained of the imperfectly rooted out love which had not died a natural death. Whatever was torn out of the body, as out of the earth, cut, violently uprooted, left such deceptive, such lively roots below the surface, all ready to bloom again under an artificial association, by a grafting of sensation, given new life through this graft of memory.”
—Anais Nin, A Spy in the House of Love (via reticence-)
It’s like going around a mirrorless world asking everyone you meet to describe you and everyone says endlessly, ‘you have a face even as I do and your eyes are bluer and big’, and even, ‘my smile when I look at you is you’, but you don’t believe it and then one day you bump smack into a stone wall and no one hears you say , ‘ouch’, and your whole problem is solved.
He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.
How else will you know
the color of crushed time;
how else will you feel
what it is to change and remember,
to lose and absorb
this summer inside you
(via ahuntersheart)
We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
I envy men who can yearn
with infinite emptiness
toward the body of a woman,
hoping that the yearning
will make a child,
that the emptiness itself
will fertilize the darkness.
Women have no illusions about this,
being at once
houses, tunnels,
cups & cupbearers,
knowing emptiness as a temporary state
between two fullnesses,
& seeing no romance in it.
If I were a man
doomed to that infinite emptiness,
& having no choice in the matter,
I would, like the rest, no doubt,
find a woman
& christen her moonbelly,
madonna, gold-haired goddess
& make her the tent of my longing,
the silk parachute of my lust,
the blue-eyed icon of my sacred sexual itch,
the mother of my hunger.
But since I am a woman,
I must not only inspire the poem
but also type it,
not only conceive the child
but also bear it,
not only bear the child
but also bathe it,
not only bathe the child
but also feed it,
not only feed the child
but also carry it
everywhere, everywhere…
while men write poems
on the mysteries of motherhood.
I envy men who can yearn
with infinite emptiness
(via leda-swanson)
In the years afterward, I fled whenever somebody began to understand me. That has subsided. But one thing remained: I don’t want anybody to understand me completely. I want to go through life unknown. The blindness of others is my safety and my freedom.
Celebration when your plan is working? Anyone can do that. But when you realize that the story of your life could be told a thousand different ways, that you could tell it over and over as a tragedy, but you choose to call it an epic, that’s when you start to learn what celebration is. When what you see in front of you is so far outside of what you dreamed, but you have the belief, the boldness, the courage to call it beautiful instead of calling it wrong… that’s celebration.
If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and be eaten alive.
Updates
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little pierogi- smallest heaven on my plate get in my tummyPosted 2 days ago
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Hi, Friends. I like to keep my FB private except to those I am friends with. So if you all would do the following, I'd appreciate it. With the new FB timeline on its way this week for EVERYONE. . . please do both of us a favor: Hover over my name above. In a few seconds you'll see a box that says "Subscribed". Hover over that, then go to "Comments and Likes" and unclick it. That will stop all our posts showing up on the side bar for strangers to see. But most important, it limits hackers from invading our profiles. If you repost this I will do the same for you.Posted 3 days ago
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Quinn and I are fully in the new place! Just figured out how to get the internet working, and I'll now be spending the rest of the night responding to the 32970 emails I got before I figured out how to plug a cable into a plug properly.Posted 2 weeks ago
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Happy birthday Gail Hadad & Joshua Dotson!Posted 3 weeks ago
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"I worried about something. You know how Presidents get shot, what if someone shot me? ps: what if people don't like whales?" - from my diary, 1990Posted 3 weeks ago
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Bringing the first few boxes to Quinn and I's NEW PLACE IN AMHERST today! Total move in by Monday! yee!!!Posted 3 weeks ago
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migrainePosted 4 weeks ago
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Timeline says: I didn't touch facebook for two years after joining, and when I finally did start using it I was just soliciting people for their natal charts.Posted 7 weeks ago
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I wish there was a dude brothel (bro-thel?) around herePosted 8 weeks ago
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"the winkie face is a mirror within which you yourself are reflected"Posted 2 months ago
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Secret woodland rendezvous with Erica Oppenheimer & Kat HuntPosted 2 months ago
Recent tracks
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Trilobites by Horticultural Compass7 months ago
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Hornstrandir by oh, birds!7 months ago
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Orbitals Amongst Us by Terracid7 months ago
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New Hills by The Once & Future Herds7 months ago
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chestnut vistas by The Golden Oaks7 months ago
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We Heard the Mountains Overhead by The Juniper Meadows7 months ago
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Carabou Figurines by Alligator Crystal Moth7 months ago
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Alate by Hala Strana7 months ago
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lie on the ground and breathe by Pefkin7 months ago
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avarus - hessu se tassa vaan, ei mikki by Jewelled Antler Collective7 months ago