Brieanna Smeltz

I am in awe that it has been one year since Finn was born. It is a surreal feeling, one that I am not quite sure I can really wrap my head around at the moment. The memories of that day feel so near to me that it doesn’t seem possible that an entire year could have passed. At the same time, I don’t remember nearly as much as I would like to. That glorious, delirious, joyous haze we found ourselves in for at least a couple of weeks after he was born was such a profound and precious time. We will never, ever, ever experience life in quite the same way again. We were so utterly exhausted then, but it was an exhaustion that I feel we embraced with open arms. It was a strangely delicious feeling, to be so feeble, so completely unable to do anything but sit and hold my baby. I was focused only on loving my husband more than I ever thought was possible and getting to know and love this tiny new life we’d created together. Though I had been warned that the first month would be really challenging, I don’t think I was prepared for how much I would actually relish it. God was good to me to give me that perspective. Though I was more tired than I’d ever been in my entire life, I was more aware than ever before just how dependent I was on God. To be so tired and weak and clueless and yet to be able cast all of that upon Him, with the knowledge that He would take care of everything? What comfort! Ah, I just don’t ever want to forget that time or that awareness of my dependency on Him.

I will snap out of the past for a moment to consider the now one year old boy we have on our hands. He is a very sweet boy, we think. He is friendly and open and generous with his smiles. We are still figuring out the emerging facets of his personality, but in general, he is a very cheerful boy. He is also an observant boy, often furrowing his brow when he is intently studying something or someone. (Dave is a big brow-furrow-er and I think I may be as well.) Finn is very expressive; some have even said he is the most expressive baby they’ve ever encountered. I wouldn’t really know since babies were never on my radar before him. But I suppose I tend to be rather expressive myself so we know where he gets it from. Finn loves to play with his toys and books. In particular, he loves to pull out every item, one by one from the basket until he is sitting in a sea of toys and books. And of course, once they’re all out and strewn across the floor, he will pick just a few to actually play with. Finn’s newest discovery is his own will and the concept of reacting to things that he doesn’t appreciate, most notably having something taken from his hands. His “thing” is to throw his head back in, well, anger and thrash about until he has gotten his point across. I knew I would be confronted with my son’s sin sooner or later but it’s still a smack up side the head to witness such blatant behaviors from a one year old. It is challenging to bring discipline and correction when you can’t be at all sure that he understands why he is being corrected. But it must be done. This whole “my baby sins” thing has really just snuck up on us in the past few weeks. Or rather, there have been more evidences of this truth in recent weeks.

Something else that is not new is Finn’s total disinterest in food. Considering that he is well aware of his own will at this point, I am now realizing that his refusal to eat food has far more to do with him learning to exercise this will than it does with a genuine distaste for food. To say the least, we are kind of at our wit’s end with this challenge. Baby food, solid food, any food, whatever. It is all unwelcome. What is not unwelcome, however is mom’s milk. Good lord does that boy love his milk. And due to his increased activity over the past few months, he’s needed more sustenance than ever before. We are now up a minimum of 3 times a night to nurse and it is a-makin’ me crrrrazy. I have been taking some lactogenic herbal supplements off and on to make sure that I’m able to provide enough nourishment for him and apparently they are working just fine. But I would really really really like to be able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time. Short of force feeding him, I’m not sure what I can do. But we’re going to persevere.

For Finn’s birthday today, we had planned on taking our first family bike ride in the Old Northeast neighborhood I grew up in. Unfortunately, we had a little snafu with Finn’s bike seat so we had to postpone the ride until tomorrow. We just took some birthday portraits of our family in the park instead. There was a heavenly breeze coming off the bay and the air had that 70 degree chill we Floridians all crave at this time of year. It couldn’t have been nicer and it’s forecasted to be the same all weekend.

Here are a few of the photos that my budding photographer husband took at Flora Wylie Park. He did a good job with the 50mm 1.4 lens at such a wide aperture. (I just love this lens and focal length for portraits. It is a real beaut.) I also really love having photos of me and Finn together. We have so little of them compared with the hundreds upon hundreds I’ve taken of Dave and Finn.

I’m not sure where in this post I should make this statement so I’ll just put it here. One of my big “push projects” that I simply have to get done before the end of the year is to organize my 2011 photos and throw all the best ones up onto Flickr. What I should have been doing was a monthly photo sort-and-dump so that I wouldn’t find myself here in this overwhelmed, buried-underneath-tens-of-thousands-of-photos-literally feeling. To this I guess I can only say “Mah bad.”

Aww yiieah, 52 weeks down! Boo ya.

Lindsay and David are birds of a feather, two peas in a pod. They are the embodiment of all those little sayings that mean two people go together perfectly. Being Lindsay’s sister, I have watched her fall in love with David. I’ve seen both their hearts breathe a sigh of relief at finding that they do have another half, and it’s each other.

I find so much joy in seeing opposites attract, but I also love seeing couples who are so compatible it is almost ridiculous. That is them. Aren’t the many shapes and sizes of love amazing?

Enjoy : )

Years ago, back before I knew that I would have a career in photography, I had this friend. Everyone once in a while I would call my friend up and we would go downtown or to a park and we would take pictures. Lots of them. She would snap some of me, I would take some of her. and then we would go back home and change our profile pictures (but I should have left that part out).

I came to realize it had been over two years since we had one of these little excursions. Well, that problem has now been remedied. Brittany has been my dearest friend and closest confidant for more than half of my life. She is the most genuinely kind-hearted person I know, especially towards me when I least deserve it. So, the least I could do was take some new pretty pictures for her facebo..I mean, grandchildren to look at someday.
I love you, Brit!

I feel nothing but thankfulness for having been apart of this special day in Cecilia and RJ’s life. Each lovely detail led to another and they all came together beautifully to represent the love that RJ and Cecilia share with eachother and their family. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t taking notes for my own wedding someday. Be sure to look at how perfectly Justin DeMutiis photographed this enchanting backyard wedding.

Here is just one of the many weddings I’ve been shooting with Justin DeMutiis.