bitchville

Technically it should be the ten bitchville commandments but I don't want to go onto this whole narcissistic shit, as I'm typing this after taking a shower and not fully dressed yet (I'm in my underwear with my hair dripping wet) I could not help and wonder to myself, if the bible have the 10 commandments, why can not Twitter have it's own.. done by me? If anyone thinks this sucks, add your suggestions.. or better create your own. Happy Twittering past 140 character limit.

I. Thou art a trending topic, become a twitter star

II. P.Diddy shalt does not rule Twitter

III. Thou shalt not trend Justin Beiber

IV. Thou shalt not have thy twitter hacked

VI. Real time events shalt be recognised on trending

VII. Grammar shalt not be taken into consideration

VIII. 140 limit shalt not limit past thy tweet update

IX. Thou shalt not follow celebrities or idolise celebrities on thy twitter

X. Thou shalt be funny, outragoes and crazy.

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There's a time and place and somewhere in this world, someone is making a list to do before they've reached a certain milestone in life. This however, is the exact opposite. This is a list of things that society needs to fuck off in order for us to stop complaining so much. We're so fucking thin headed nowadays, we might as well live in the Medieval period, minus the crazy religious men witch hunting (against women) that happened during that period.

 

LET'S START OFF...

1. Parents with enormous prams for one child. You could put 10 kids in that, seriously. You could save space for society, this world we're populating a lot. There's no up coming black plague to kill off Europeans any time soon. Save space, save money.

2. People who are very opinionated in the things they say, but complain about getting criticised. Okay, I like to bitch, and if I shield myself from people saying shit to me and if I was like 'why are you bitching about me for, boo hoo?' I would wonder what the fuck am I talking shit in the first place? Take it up the chin, slap back at those who criticise and keep pushing for more. You're hungry, eat.

3. Celebrities WITHOUT talent. Yes, you heard me. Trollups, attention whores, mental Z list celebrities using twitter and such. You see, I can't stand celebrities, I might as well be a member of the Westboro Baptist Church since I lack sympathy towards celebrities. I sometimes cheer for their deaths, because all of a sudden they become the highlight of your life, just because they died. They need to rot in some pet cementry not in your hearts.

4. Being over 21 years old and still getting slapped by your parents. It's either you or them, but I'm leaning towards you. It's either you haven't grown up yet and still have the trait of an 8 year old or your parents are really abusive towards you and you're their punching bag. Quick, move interstate or overseas... right after you burn the house down with them in it.

5. Those who care for the environment. Seriously, I LOLcopter at you without spit coming out from my mouth. You drive a car, you use electricity, you own a damn fridge, you have a mobile phone and you're still breathing. The environment is better off without you. Save trees, kill yourself.

6. Anyone who is still a racist douchebag. It's the 21st Century bitches. Go forward, not backwards. Unless you're into incests, then you can go  backwards. Really, we're not segregated any more, there's no laws any more that tells us to not marry outside each other's racial background and I can walk into your house and pee in the carpet uninvited, if you dislike me because of my racial background, I'm going to have to take number 2 on your carpet.

7. Posing like as if you're a model on your profile. You can be anorexic as much as you want, you will never be on a magazine cover. I'm sorry but that's just a fact. I like self photos, but doing the whole model angle thing, so old. It's time for you to start taking photos of you doing silly faces, enjoying life, being drunk, hanging out with friends. That should be your default profile picture.

8. Buying magazines. Hello, this is the digital age. You can get all that bullshit brainwashing articles written by 60 year old virgin editors for free.  Magazines corrupts minds, it influeces you like hell wrapped its balls around your face and makes you believe everybody around you thinks  you're ugly and nothing else in life. It's time to hold onto that $4.80 of a magazine and buy yourself a Happy Meal. At least you get a free toy in it with your meal.

9. Still believing man is the reason for global warming. Yes and women is the reason why we had so many wars in the past and that is why we now have tampons, so we could prevent blood coming out of our cunts. PMS BITCHES, IT'S WAR AGAINST YOU...RUSSIA.

10. Buying clothing because of the brand name, not quality. I have nothing else to say but tell you that buying clothes that has somebody else's name on a piece of clothing which is made from sweatshops that uses cheap labour (children) makes you cool? No, no and no.. it makes you a stupid fucking piece of a cunt. I feel like pulling your head through your nipples.

 

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I will add more here, feel free to add some or suggest some, I will credit you (no seriously, I will not take any of your ideas, pinky promise). Bare in mind, some of things I say can be contradicting, sometimes without realising. Also, this is my attempt at being funny or lack of good bits, at least I tried.

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We all have a facebook account, right? I had an idea (well I wasn't the first with the idea, lol) to collect all the status updates I have written since day one I joined Facebook till my last Facebook update (which was posted today). I thought I had little written, but I realised I have written a lot, some are wacky, some timeline my daily life and some was plain o' crazy. Anyway below is my status updates collected since 2008.

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Watch me bungee jump, is currently lost in shopping, no one can take my heart away like he already has, is happy with my results, all distinctions in IT, can't wait to go out Friday night with my friends, had fun with the guys tonight, except for the stomach craps, NERD concert tomorrow night, son of a bitch fucked up my money for a shit laptop fuck you, being angry makes me happy, yeaaa confirmed book flight: Thailand via Singapore stop over this July, I fucked up today; My vitamin water bottle leaked out all over my bag...my phone is literally fucked now..congratulations to myself, 2 months and 10 days left in Australia and I'll be gone in July ^_^ fuck you winter, am I going to hell for downloading Hanna Montana movie?, Now I can get my Nikon D60 early next week ^_^.

I really don't like the fact that I am sleeping every night at around 2am :/, I had an argument with my mum today. Hmm someone is not getting a mother's day gift... bitch. CeBIT exhibition was fun, lots of free junk stuff. Fuck you and you, you and you as well and you in the corner hiding.. fuck you too. >:(, I suck at everything in life. :(, I tend to become obsessed with watching Air Crash Investigation just before I travel overseas...on a plane. 34 days until.., crap I went out of control with clicking fan pages ^_^, I usually blame my periods for my moody behaviour - Once a month!, If your heart speaks, your mind then becomes creative., Went to the Sydney Film Festival and watched 500 days of summer.. best indie romantic comedy i watched ^_^, Is it me or why do I think June is the most depressing month of the year?, love the surprise party my friends threw... AMAZING! :D and no I wasn't the one who constantly kept ordering chicken meals / desert means.. i had the ramen and cola lol., Aww the best always die young.. RIP Michael Jackson.

I'm still alive.. isn't it fun on the 2nd day of your holiday you end up having to go to the hospital. I FUCKING FIRED 10 BULLETS USING A M16 TODAY, EAT THAT ANTI-GUN LAWS, is it still cold back home?, i don't wanna go homeeeeee, If vampires glitter in the sun, is my glitter glue a vampire too? Why do people think it's wrong going to the cinemas watching a romantic comedy alone? Today, I am staying in my jammies, Everything I need to know about sex I learned from my dog, Last week was a horrible week out of any this year, how did I manage to delete everything on My Documents folder and lost 14gb of data? don't blame Vista, blame my slow brain. Lets hope this week is better, Today is my parent's 23rd anniversary marriage together, I wonder if I could last that long when I get married or be with my 10th husband by that time.., Why did God create men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn, ROFLMAO! KAYNE WEST OUTBURST > TAYLOR SWIFT MUSIC VIDEO, Its better to throw stones at the crowd than to join the crowd, Damn, where's Whoopi Goldberg when you need her to talk to ghosts? PUN INTENDED! Now you’re in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you.

I’m not into appearances. I like flaws; I think they make things interesting, 2010 resolution - save up and travel to United States of Emerica! Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve. I tried to be normal once. WORST five minutes of my life. I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me. My new haircut is FIERCE! C'est la vie! Home made tacos > buying from taco stores. I make the best home made tacos.. from a kit ^_^. Who can cook good food? Man I am missing Thailand again badly.. no place on earth you could go to a 7/11 store and get a large slurpee for $1.00 ...DAMN! Flirt with your insanity, romance your dreams, get engaged with your soul, marry your intelligence and divorce the negativity. Sleep is a habit, someone should make a patch for it! When you really love someone like truly love someone, you can not be their friend. Can't wait for tonight :)

We are only scared of the things we don't understand. Its nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. Who you want to be is not nearly as important as who you are right now. Fuck you Facebook and your privacy changes! If cats could purr to people and wrap themselves around people's legs, why can't I do that? Merry Christmas to all. We should also share a moment to those who are misfortune this time of the year and those who are not here with us any more. 2010 isn't the start of a new decade, it's 2011. Fuck 2009, hello 2010 my bitch. Video stores will soon die, sad but true. Remember renting out on Friday rainy nights at BlockBuster? Good o' times. The minute you think you're going to lose something, it suddenly becomes the most important thing in your life. Confucius say: Woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink. If interracial relationships was banned in this world, I wouldn't exist.

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