bicyklette

When do you go from being a wannabe to an actual be-er? Beer. Do you cross that line in a second? In a lifeime? I think if you repeat your stories long enough, you start to really understand yourself.

I gazed at a giant dinosaur tonight. The lights twinkled outside and the sand in the streets was refreshing. The ice huts on the lake freak me out (oh it’s supposed to be above freezing weather all week); I saw a couple walking on the ice. I really will put something on those walls.

Alice in Wonderland was beautiful.

As you get older, you receive more masks to wear. The masks of responsibility. Responsibility equals duties, stresses, emotion. Maybe with age I have more mean bones in my body, yet I’ve never broken one. I feel very happy tonight and if you’re reading this I’m even more happy. I get to be in your head when you read this, which trips me out! I feel like I get to talk to you about whatever I want (but never get to ask you what you feel like talking about).

Maybe it should be your turn now. Maybe that’s what she meant this morning.

Dassssshhboard sounds awesome. Goodnight.

I once thought I had a lot of important things to say.. until I heard that the quiet ones are usually the smarter ones.

Sia - Breathe Me

I feel compelled to tell the world how amazing you are. And I will thank you every morning for calming me every night at 2am and singing me to sleep. An omnipresence… confusing me now.

Funny updates to come. Hum.

I always imagined walking into a stadium at night and finding you there. A perfect night where the moths cast shadows when they fly through the stadium lights. A perfect night where it’s almost cold, but your sweater will do just fine. I always saw myself straddling the third bench in the stadium, not thinking it’s awkward that my left leg is stretched out whereas the right has to be perched. It’s as if I’m trying to make some kind of statement. But you’re there, too. You’re sitting there looking at the soccer field as if it’s telling you stories. I look at it and understand its silence can tell you more than I ever could in a million letters. I try anyway.

I point to the hill. You smile, because we met right there. You tied your shoes and I adjusted my bag and we had nothing to do with eachother. It was everyone
around us that had something to do with everyone else. We both had a name and it didn’t matter. You wonder if it really matters when I tell you eleven years is more than a lifetime. This is the life we chose to live with eachother. You ask if it’s okay to get going, so we make our way to another life.

It’s hot and embarrassing to say the least. It’s coincidence and surprise- a smile and safety. You took a risk and it almost payed off. And why should I expect anything less after a lifetime together? More of you is in my life than the feeling of love and the notion of choice. How do I let it go if you tell me I don’t have to? What are you going to do next? I need to know, because I am the one who wants to be unpredictable. Don’t you think I’m funny?

I’ve conjured memories of me on the phone in the stairs in between classes. Doesn’t matter how loud the music gets, I’m always in those steep stairs smiling in a state of panic. You really became someone to me. Someone to me that defines a dream.

Make no mistake, this dream is not unattainable - not to people who believe they are capable of making great things happen.

name me some adjectives:

- ice cream! mouth-drenching! worryfull!

how would you describe a rushed, crowded corner in the city?

- pleasant!.. you know.. because of the hot dog stands.. yeahhh

you need to incorporate what has shaped you as a person

- shaped me? Borat has shaped me. I love that movie. Come on, madame.. it’s a good movie. Dude, what’s shaped me? Yo, what shapes me? Wait, I know! My mom!

crippled is something that usually has to do with a spinal injury of some sort

- ya, but what if I cut off my finger? what if I cut off my own ARM?

other randoms?
no.. I’m sorry.. that doesn’t describe the taste of bad vegetables at all.

—-

I’m sorry.. it appears we can’t continue because these two have something more important to say…

- okay madame..we can’t figure it out - we need to know.. what happens first - the seizure, or the burnt toast?

I was trying to get you to describe the smell of burnt toast… that is all.

You can wake up from a world where you’ve been right every single day of your life and find yourself at a wall. Someone’s carved in it: this is how it goes. You stand there and you look at it, and you don’t react. You say to yourself “if this doesn’t make me think then I’ve got it beat”. You say to yourself “fuck the wall”.

Nothing stops, everything keeps going, life happens and you sit there and try to beat the wall. I want to write God damned, right now but I just can’t. I am restricted from a lot of things - which seems fine to me right now because I’m looking at a wall and I’m not reacting.

I can just cut and create post.

Remember to Breathe - Dashboard Confessional

It’s like a skyscraper you can’t stop staring at. The sun sets behind it, and you think it just adds to the concrete beauty. You’re tortured by the wind because she’s asking you to dance. You keep looking up, still seeing it, only a few more steps away. You can run… you can walk - it doesn’t matter, it’s far and only there for you to look at. You take a seat on a bench, perfect view. You smell flowers. This song is so good.

Who erected it? If that person is a good person.. does it make that building better?
What goes on inside of it?
What is happening over there? Why are there so many lights on?
Can people laugh in there? Is there order?
Has someone cried inside?
What happened?

I can still smell the flowers. This song is so good.

ha!

drôle.

Max Vernon - I Kissed a Girl (cover)

écoute moi donc.

There is nothing to distract you but your thoughts in a room with only a table and a candle. It can even be a room with a table and a lamp with no shade. It can be high ceilings and white walls and nothing else but you. You decorate the room with your presence. Your thoughts start painting everything. Today you want everything grey. Grey, grey, grey, just paint everything. I’d rather paint than hyperventilate.

You are too distracted to walk. You start comparing. Is it worth going forward if you know that she’s better than you? What is worth and what is worth it? What do I have to do to get what I want? Do I have to break something? Hurt someone? Wait for it… or just go and get it. You stop.

You notice something in the room that was always there. Things are always there, you just never really see them. Maybe you moved something. Maybe this is it, your one big break, your one idea, your one thought that you needed to get it. To move forward, to avoid breaking, to be what you want.

You get up and open a window. You can hear that the outside is alive. You keep quiet and you look around. Is it dead in here or is this room only sleeping? You aren’t scared so you settle for the latter. You wonder about others. You wonder what they’re talking about. Are they having wine? Do they have their feet up on something? Are they laughing.

You just don’t feel them laughing tonight.

Do you know what’s awesome? This site. What’s even more awesome is that this girl is in my class and draws these during them.

(via neverforgets)

Méa n’aimerais pas ça….. je suis contente qu’il n’y a pas de “Jasmine”.

je suis contente…. 9 mois!

babyastronauts:

(via planettampon)

 ouin.

J’ai eu une mini-leçon de linguistique avant mon cours aujourd’hui! C’était formidable. Un petit groupe de gens en train de discuter des cultures, des langues, des voyages et des frustrations.

Une autre frustration s’est présentée cette après-midi. Est-ce qu’une frustration peut se présentée? Je ne sais pas. Je pense que oui.. en tout cas. J’ai reçu mon deuxième courriel cette semaine qui me rejette poliment d’un Conseil scolaire à Toronto. Wow… j’étais déçu. Après avoir essayer de faire des blagues, j’ai été prendre une marche. J’ai déposé ma frustration entre mes cartables dans mon casier et parti faire du magasinage (j’aimerais dire shopping au lieu de magasinage..).

C’est difficile de ne pas me répéter, puisqu’il y a une dizaine d’années que j’écris de cette façon. Je me sens très juvénile maintenant…. mais… c’est plaisant.

Bon. Journée #3 demain…

Un gros sourire x

C’était salement romantique

Ce n’est pas facile de s’émerger dans le français. Le monde autour de moi est content! Tout le monde parle en anglais et je veux parler l’anglais avec eux. J’adore ça, les langues.

Le français, pour moi, n’est pas juste des mots et des tournures de phrase. Le français c’est vraiment une autre vie. C’est un sentiment que j’adore. C’est des accordéons, des roches, des lumières et du chuchotage. C’est des façons. La manière que je regarde la télé. La manière que j’admire mes amis. J’ai peur d’aller là. J’ai peur que les personnes ne me reconnaisseront pas. J’ai peur de faire des fautes d’ortographes.. mais je ne relies pas ce soir.

j’aimerais remercier la belle Nathalie pour son encouragement aujourd’hui.

de plus que mon B et les filles à l’école.

ddr le dimanche!

merci Klint! B et moi à New York.

Vitaa - Une fille pas comme les autres (clip officiel)

// Elle est comme Beyonce, JLo et les Pussy Cat Dolls toutes mixés ensembles… haha mixés.

Alors, je suis excitée! C’est ma première entrée parmi plusieurs cette semaine. J’ai décidé que je vais consacrée toute cette semaine à vivre complètement en français.. Je vais voir comment ça va aller. Bon. Je veux vraiment vraiiiiment inclure des chansons, blogues, sites web, artistes, interprètes… les raisons pourquoi ils s’appellent des interprètes et non des musiciens… toute sorte de bla-bla vraiment! Je croix avoir du plaisir en le faisant. J’étais pour commencer demain matin… mais c’est trop loin. Donc… j’ai décidé de m’abonnée (je le sais pas si c’est le bon mot) mais.. d’ajouter “UniversalMusicFrance” à ma liste sur ma page de YouTube… et j’irai de là……

Bon! C’est vraiment tout pour ce soir.

Je vous aime. x

She pulled her chair as close to his head as she could and laid her face on the edge of his pillow to watch him breathing, to see the flutter of his eye beneath his eyelid when he dreamed. How could it be that you could love someone so much and keep it secret from yourself as you woke daily so far from home? She had put billboards and roads in between them, throwing roadblocks behind her and ripping off the rearview mirror, and thought that that would make him disappear?

This is exactly how I feel.

pwnage:

tackyscenekid:

wordscantdescribe:

saratastic:

steenyxbeany:

concurred.

I say this now…..

If I procrastinate, I’m screwed.

Scary.. yet, I can see my kids wearing them. Problem.

neverforgets:

I’ve been trying to find where I can find a balaclava with a face on the internet for so long!!  I need one!!

(via blaaargh)

can you watch this and not laugh? I can’t.. and it made me very happy….

this makes me very happy. thanks djsteveporter!

Telephone (Electrolightz Remix) - Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce

Time is taking my time. This song is on repeat. Fast forward. Is this my life? Is anyone going to learn from me? Am I worried? Should I be worried? I am crossing my fingers for a random act of funness and no stank faces.

Love.

Everything is okay today. Right down to the second. I don’t know if you’ll notice, but it’ll be worth it anyway. Completely psyched about everything happening right now. Kindness wasn’t in me today.

Better to be perfect than to be genuine today. Rivers on the sidewalk. Only ninety more minutes to go. When will this process be over? Nobody knows.

I’m singing. Hope your day was great! x

care of Chancy

Bonne fête princess.

I love my family. A lot.

What a waste of time. The sun’s already going down by the time I put some socks on. Women crying.. and not for good reasons. I worry about the man that she’s with. She’s so in love that sarcasm trumps romance. She smiles when she sees cartoons and needs those good stories to follow her into next week. I love her. I also love the crying woman who folds my laundry.

I’ll have more stories, more laughs and more food for you tomorrow. Give me some more time to waste, it makes my heart beat faster. I like that she’s relieved, it makes me relieved. We’re family now. Time to make handshakes. Time to decorate living rooms. Time to not relate. It’s okay, I’m still wasting time.

I’ll make sure the candle keeps burning. My fingers hurt. I’m keeping the small boxes and getting rid of the bigger ones. I’m not ready to dig. I’ll sigh enough to make someone worry about it before I fake it.

I used to like this song.

!

John Mayer - In Your Atmosphere

I’m not trying to make a point.

What makes you relevant? How do you remain current? Why is it not okay to fall? Why is the word “weakness” usually accompanied by a frown or some kind of sarcasm? Why isn’t NEW good enough anymore? Why does ULTRA NEW scare me? Does it scare you? Am I rebelling? Am I not happy with what I’m seeing on the news? Is that it? Is it me who is unsatisfied? Am I reading into things too much? Do I think I have it more figured out than others? Am I above mainstream? Is mainstream so above underground that it’s the new underground which means everything is backwards? Do you also love that it can be written backwards or backward? Do words make you happy?

Tonight during the People’s Choice Awards, I watched Ashton Kutcher accept his award while speaking to his phone/blackberry/device and proclaim that he is sharing his winnings with everyone that follows him. For a second I wanted to get twitter back and be bicy! I wanted to twitter about how I had a staring contest in class and checked off how many times my teacher said “oh my gosh” (it was 11 times). Then I asked myself if he was really sharing his award with everyone or just ignoring everyone that was in the audience. I think sharing. I think the people in the audience appreciated it. It was a fun thing to watch. I had fun.

I think I tried to give up complaining last year. Ya, that lasted about one minute! This year I got discouraged with making a resolution and smiled instead. I sat on a bus this morning with a woman who goes to school with me. I don’t know her name, but I know that she has 3 kids and got a university degree online after studying from 5 hours a day and working 36 hour weeks for 5 years. I know that she does Tai Chi to relax because she gets panic attacks. I know that she was writing down all the Tai Chi moves down for people in her class just in case they needed to destress pretty easily. I know that she is a nice woman. This morning, she was an open book and I read her carefully. The sun was just coming up as I got off the bus. She looked over to the clouds and said “wow, the sky is beautiful this morning”. Sudbury is full of talkers. Other people joined our conversation.

I also met this beautiful professor who is passionate about art. She has a beautiful smile and is trying to tell everyone in my class that you can never tell someone that they don’t have the potential to do something. I had great introductory lessons today. I wish someone would report those things on the news. I felt sad watching the news and hearing about a woman being hit by a stolen van…. then not only hit, but robbed from the driver afterwards. My mind goes everywhere and then I figure I should write a list down. I will avoid writing “hitting & mugging someone”. Holy crud.

On to tomorrow. Goodnight.

Bonjour!

C’était la fête à Méa aujourd’hui.. qu’elle était belle et contente dans sa petite robe rouge! J’ai fait du shopping avec ma soeur, j’ai fini les comissions, j’avais une séance-marathon de Star Wars.. c’est la veille de Noël demain…. la famille est en ville… j’irai voir mon chum dans quelques jours…. aaaah des fois je suis stressée sans avoir raison.

L’année 2010 est une année où je fais l’effort d’écrire en français… je fais pitié… mais 2010.. ça s’en vient!!

Over the last 10 years I’ve had things like…

ICQ, MSN, hi5, friendster, myspaces, twitters, facebooks, hotmails, blogspots, diarylands, tumblrs, facebook, mixbooks, catbooks, gmails, flickrs, yahoo mails… holy effing crap. I am merging. I have decided I am going to keep 3 emails until the end of school (my university email until school is over)… so I will keep these:

ax_robinette@laurentian.ca

amyerobinette@hotmail.com

amy.e.robinette@gmail.com

No more myspaces, twitters, flickrs, msn’s, blogspots, diarylands… I will keep my tumblr and my facebook only. I cannot keep track and I have too much invested in this blog to just stop, drop and roll.

Soooo here I go with the deletions. Sad.

i was just talking about “shmall” people who “play snowboarding” and then I decided we should just “friggen go to farmville already”.

it was funny. but i know you had to be there.

C’est jeudi soir et j’ai fini mes préparations pour demain. C’est presque la fin de la deuxième semaine de stage. Mes élèves sont très gentils. Je ne sais pas pourquoi ça m’arrive…. d’avoir des bons stages, des bons amis, connaître les plus généreux, les plus doués, les plus capables… je le sais pas. J’aime ça la vie. Les personnes sont intéressants et j’essaye de m’intégrer à ça. Je suis fatiguée et sa me semble que mon écriture a besoin d’enrichissement…….. beaucoup d’enrichissement. J’essaye encore de nouveau demain matin.

Bonsoir. x

hey girl.. I think you got a little something on your face.

thanks ke-vin!!!

Go splash some water in your face, flash a smile and tell yourself you’re beautiful. You may regret it one day if you don’t.

I like Tiger Woods.

This is my not-so-often opinion piece about what’s going on in my world around me tonight….. Entitled: Everyone has an opinion… which is great! Freedom of speech makes a lot of people look like a pocket of bungholes and I feel good listening to those bungholes. Sometimes the freedom of speech makes me look like a bunghole. Right now I am writing whatever I’d like and you might think I’ll look/smell/act like a bunghole after this rant but here goes nothing.

How do you act like a bunghole you say? Oh, well to do that you must cause “stank face” around you at all times, look horrid, take beautiful, normal, lovely things, turn them into something brown and smelly and wrong and push them out of your hole. I’m sorry. I digress.

Tonight’s headlining story on the CTVnews is Tiger Woods’ scandal. Tiger. Woods. Cheatedonhiswife (with an sexilicious supermodel). And everyone’s jaws have dropped. Shit has hit the proverbial fan. All of Tiger Woods’ fans are demanding the truth! Low and behold, he did it. He cheated on his wife with a supermodel and is apologizing for what he has done. His wholesome image is forever tarnished. Lloyd Robertson is saying this as objectively as he can, just doing his job, informing the people as it is their RIGHT to know of the private life of Tiger Woods. His fans are so concerned.. and they deserve to know the truth! I call bullshit.

Now, that amazingly talented, record breaking, entertaining man who can put his name down as the black man who has at least 71 tour-victories (you and I both know I don’t follow this shiz) in a sport that has been dominated by da white man for forever (and I’m referring to forever as 24 years because that’s how long my forever goes back to.. yeah, am I ever not scoring one for Tiger’s team right now) has screwed his last screw. Yep. Himself. Just like that, POOF, he has become a mini-putz. A hole in zero. A shame. A disgrace.

I’m sorry Tiger. I’m sorry you did something wrong. You are a superstar… so that should NEVER happen. I will join your team and confess to my millions of fans something I did that was wrong. In grade 2, I lied about being sick for at least a week straight and asked to go home. And when I got home, I watched Sesame Street. That’s right! I wasn’t sick at all. And on one of those ”sicks” days they featured the letter S. And now I understand that that S represented SHAME. But not shame on you! No no no…It was shame on all those people who didn’t and still don’t know how to do their jobs. Shame on them for not being able to mind their business! Shame on them for not being able to find me real news tonight!

Shame on them for complaining about things they don’t understand. Shame on them for not encouraging people to be there for eachother. Shame on me for not encouraging people to be there for eachother. Shame on blame. Shame on hate. Shame on privacy and really hot models. Shame on a lot of things.. but not you Tiger. I like you.

I hope you there are some people out there that can see past this bullshit and into your tiny little cheating heart. I hope they see you and they keep watching you, because you’re the ONLY reason I watch golf…. but please.. give me my news back. Okay?

Now that that’s settled…Keep your wedge in your perfectly pressed pants, paint a smile on your face and go get ‘em, Tiger!

Love, bicy x