Beth Ann

kirious:

drinkyourjuice:

A tale for those of you who don’t believe produce anxiety is real:

A few weeks ago I bought a little plastic thing of olives from the olive bar at Whole Foods. I had two or three when I got home that night, as was my prerogative, and have not touched them since.

Every time I open the fridge, the theme song to Are You Afraid of the Dark starts playing and I reel over having not done anything with so many olives. Mist starts rolling through the kitchen. A child’s handprint appears on the window.

Do olives go bad? Not jarred ones, probably. But these are special olives. Special olives probably dry out. Bare minimum the brine evaporates. And the salt from the evaporated brine is probably harmful when breathed. Local birds probably die due to a respiratory tract infections caused by salt inhalation every year. Stalactites in their lungs. (There was a bird corpse on the sidewalk yesterday.)

Anyway, I bring this up because the Accutane has made me a light sleeper. In my natural state, I am the deepest sleeper. My whole life I’ve slept instantly, continuously, and with no recollection of the night’s events upon waking.

For the past few weeks it’s been more touch-and-go. If I roll over at 3 am now, I consciously think, “I am rolling over,” and remember having had the thought in the morning. I sometimes check my phone and it is 6:15 and I have another 45 minutes of sleep. I also remember my dreams now.

Last night, I had a dream that was literally — in its entirety — just a guy making me a big bowl of pasta and using all of my olives in the sauce.

My brain, resting, given the opportunity to do whatever it wants and create whatever sensations it needs to in order to soothe itself and work some shit out, chose to take ten minutes to help me not worry about the perishables in my fridge so much.

I live a tiny, tiny life.

“A child’s handprint appears on the window.”

My produce anxiety—my whole leftover food anxiety—is that it’s gone bad, and I don’t want to bite in to something only to find it rotten. So I throw away a LOT of food.

gingerhaze:

Avengers was great and all but now I need a sequel posthaste so that they can bro out all over the place, forever.

ukeofspook:

how to kiss

1. put your mouth on their mouth
2. start screaming into their mouth until you pass out

Just did my monthly Relay tasting box dance. Look at those eggs!! #rva (Taken with instagram)

But let’s do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; and couple of master assassins.

hotbritishmen:

Rupert Penry Jones

oof

hollyhocksandtulips:

Birthday party archery

Photo by Yale Joel

krisser:

Talking Heads “Psycho Killer”

ironfries:

sodakick:

bonermarrow:

SPIDER-MAN CAMEO IN THE NEW AVENGERS MOVIE (2012)

I heard about it, but I completely missed it when I saw the Avengers. Glad someone posted it.

GUYS, GUYS

How did I miss this!?

titivil:

Why does it feel like graphic designers just recently parachuted in to improve all our lives?

I just looked at a #wishlist from last year and I currently have nearly 3x the consumer debt I had then. So I take all those things back and wish for money and the wisdom to spend it properly.

1. The Tennant/Tate version of Much Ado About Nothing on DVD
2. My gas tank to magically be full so I don’t have to stop on the way to my other job
3. To not have to go to my other job, but still to get paid an extra $100 every two weeks
4. A burger with bacon, blue cheese, and mushrooms
5. To not have happy hour on Friday because I just wanna go hang out with my mom and dad

• Coworker: Is there anything extra I should mention about the website today?
• Mel: No.
• Coworker: Okay. Just wanted to let you know I'm standing up.
• (Consider this your 20 minute reminder to stand up, Internet.)

doctorwho:

“The Avengers: United Kingdom”

gallifreyan:

L-R

Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter
Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes
Matt Smith as The Doctor
Daniel Craig as James Bond
Philip Glenister as Gene Hunt

Avengers: United Kingdom

I’d watch it.