The reason I created this blog was to document shoots. I had planned to post out-takes or photos that I liked a bit more than others, I suppose in a way, the plan was to use it to measure technical growth, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that I should add my thoughts to this blog as well. Lately I have been struggling ( by lately, I mean for the past year or so) I haven't been motivated or inspired, I've let myself down countless times, I've put things off, I stopped shooting a lot, and because of that, I feel like I lost something.
I joined an amazing group in LA a few months ago, and when I asked them how they managed to stay inspired they told me that they went on trips, or organized things, or listened to music. I wish those things could work for me right now. I wish that I could just, snap myself out of whatever funk it is I've fallen into. The one that makes me anxious, and scared, I'm so scared to make a photo lately, so scared to show my work, so afraid of what other people think, for a while I was OK. The anxiety didn't overwhelm me so completely, I wasn't afraid to drive to Los Angeles alone and I had a thirst for adventure. I need to remind myself of that. At one point I was that girl: so willing to try. I need to find her again, I need to force myself to shoot more, I need to document everything. All of it. No matter what.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”