you can find me in an apple tree

I’m really happy today, even though I got rejected. But I did the bravest thing I have ever done and confessed to the girl I have had a crush on for a long time. I was shaking so much I was worried I might fall down, but luckily I only ended up bumping into a chair.

She was so so nice about it, and she even hugged me.

What a perfect person!

I’m so proud of myself for having the courage to tell her. And I’m so happy she took it so well, as this was my first confession ever.

And I did it face to face.

I want to giggle like a silly girl.

It was my birthday today, and it’s so funny.

• I have no problem being one year older again. I seem to have gotten over my dislike of growing up. I’m not afraid of getting old.
• Thinking of my previous birthday made me miss dad so much I nearly cried in the bus when the thought hit me.
• It seemed like such an ordinary day I mean my birthday has never seemed so blah before lol what

Suddenly I feel like I’m no good for anything and I’ll never be any good in anything and I’ll never become anything.

I’m feeling so down today.

I just want to disappear. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I definitely don’t want to go out with Dog.

It’s so much easier to just give up and let the sorrow swallow you entirely. I’m so tired of trying.

But I know I will keep on trying.

That’s how I have changed.

I don’t know what to do.

I got a love letter from this really sweet guy at work and I’m kind of interested.

However. I still have feelings for my ex-girlfriend, but she lives on the other side of the world, and I have no idea if she’ll ever feel the same way about me again.

So I don’t know if I should just forget her and try out something new.

Or what to do.

I’ve never had to deal with these kinds of things why all of a sudden why!

I feel awful.

I need sugar.

I really really need sugar.

If not sugar, then bread. But I don’t have margarine. I can’t eat bread without it.

I don’t have money until tomorrow.

But I need it now.

Damn it.

I’m just fucking pissed off right now and I don’t even know why but I guess any emotional stuff is good for me but why do I have to be so fucking angry well because the world sucks and fuck it and öofrhguöiaoherio I just want to scream so loud the neighbours will complain and call for help and then I could laugh like a maniac and end up crying bitterly oh I would love that I would love having a total melt-down so I could build myself up again how the fuck can you make anything stable if the foundation is shit and why the fuck do rich people like to purposefully make the poor people wait for them to decide when it would be nice to give out a bit of money so the unfortunate sick people who can’t go to fucking work can buy food and pay the rent and you know do all kinds of life stuff that you are supposed to do I just really hate society as it is and no one is going to convince me it is ever going to change because it’s clearly a fucking conspiracy those shithead politicians all work for the rich that’s why there are so many poor people in the world and now I’m fucking pissed off because why am I suddenly worried about society I want to be selfish just this once I mean is that really too much to ask brain is it FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO HAS MORE MONEY THAN ME BECAUSE YES I’M FUCKING ANNOYED FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO BUY ALL THE YUMMY FOOD I’D LIKE TO AND SOME READING FOR LONELY NIGHTS AND SAD MORNINGS I MEAN DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE AND I CAN’T FUCKING STUDY FOR THE UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAMS PROPERLY BECAUSE I CAN’T PRINT OUT THE ARTICLES BECAUSE GUESS WHAT MY PRINTER RAN OUT OF INK AND BUYING MORE INK WOULD COST ME MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE ON MY ACCOUNT BECAUSE YOU KNOW I KIND OF HAVE TO BUY FOOD FOR ME AND MY DOG AND I NEED TO PAY FOR THERAPY THAT’S NOT FUCKING CHEAP EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT FEEL THAT WAY BUT SERIOUSLY THE LAST TIME I GOT ANY MONEY WAS ALMOST 2 MONTHS AGO AND I HAVE HAD TO BORROW FROM MUM TO PAY THE RENT AND I CAN’T REALLY LIVE ON HER MONEY NOW CAN I BECAUSE GUESS WHAT SHE FUCKING NEEDS THAT MONEY TOO AND I’M JUST SO ANNOYED AT EVERYTHING AND I KIND OF WANT TO GO BACK TO WISHING I WERE DEAD BECAUSE THAT WAS MUCH EASIER THAN LIVING EVERYDAY CONVINCING MYSELF THAT THE WORLD CAN BE GOOD BECAUSE IT SERIOUSLY ISN’T I MEAN IF IT WERE WHY HAVEN’T I GOTTEN LAID I HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN KISSED EVER AND WHY ARE ALL THE HOT MEN GAY AND THE SEXY WOMEN STRAIGHT THERE IS JUST NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD WHY CAN’T EVERYON BE BI AND FUCK EVERYONE ELSE WHY CAN’T THIS WORLD BE JUST A HUGE ORGY OR SOMETHING AND WHY OH WHY CAN’T ANYONE BUY ME NEW INK FOR MY PRINTER I MEAN THE PRICES ARE ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CAN DO WITH THOSE LOUZY BOTTLES I MEAN NOT MUCH BEFORE THE PRINTER STARTS TELLING YOU SHIT IS GETTING SERIOUS I HAVE NO FUCKING INK LEFT I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DAMN HARD I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE RECOVER FROM DEPRESSION AND BECOME AN ENTIRE PERSON ONCE MORE BUT HOW CAN I WHEN I ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING STUPID TO WORRY ABOUT LIKE THE FACT THAT MY DOCTOR IS ALWAYS SO FUCKING LATE I HAVE NO MONEY FOR MONTHS BECAUSE IT TOOK HER SO FUCKING LONG TO WRITE THE GODDAMN PAPER ABOUT ME STILL BEING FUCKING SICK AND I ACTUALLY THINK SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME OR BELIEVE ME EVEN THOUGH I KEEP TELLING HER I CAN’T DO ANY MORE THAN THREE DAYS OF WORK WHY IS IT SO FUCKIN HARD TO BELIEVE YOU BITCH AND SHIT SERIOUSLY WHAT I’M EVEN RANTING ABOUT I HAVE NO IDEA AT THIS POINT ALL I KNOW IS THAT LIFE IS SHIT MONEY IS SHIT AND THE WEATHER IS SHIT AND I WANT NEW SHOES THAT WON’T MAKE MY FEET WET WHEN I GO OUT BECAUSE YOU KNOW I HAVE TO GO OUT A LOT BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING DOG AND MY DAD IS DEAD AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT AND I JUST WANT TO DROWN MY SORROWS IN SOME GOOD BL WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO READ MORE STORIES OF PRETTY MEN HAVING SEX WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE AND WHY DON’T I HAVE A TABLET TO READ FROM WHY IS MY COMPUTER SO OLD AND SHITTY AND FUCKING WHY HAVE I NOT REPAID THE AMOUNT I BORROWED FROM MY SAVINGS TO GET THIS ONE THAT WAS FUCKING YEARS AGO AND SHIT I HATE EVERYTHING AND I JUST REALLY DON’T WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW BUT I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO BECAUSE AT LEAST I’LL MAKE A BIT OF MONEY FROM THERE AND I NEED TO GO BUY MORE PAPER WITH THE LITTLE MONEY I HAVE JUST FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE EXCEPT NOT EVERYONE BUT THOSE WHO DON’T WANT TO DO ME AND FUCK ME FOR STILL BEING SO RIDICULOUSLY SHY AND SHIT AND REALLY I’M JUST SO DONE WITH EVERYTHING SO FUCKING DONE

I’m out.

I slept so terribly last night I still don’t feel like going to work tomorrow. I’m glad I asked to have today off. I just knew yesterday would be difficult for me to handle. And I was so right.

The moment I saw dad, I burst to tears, and I was crying so much I wasn’t sure if I could stop. I was okay after I calmed down, but at night I started crying again and couldn’t sleep and stupid Dog didn’t want to comfort me.

I don’t know how I will survive the funeral.

I don’t want to go to sleep.

This problem has not been bothering me for months, and now it’s back.

I know it’s because I’m mourning. I know it’s because I don’t want to think about the fact that I won’t see dad ever again.

But it’s going to ruin my life.

Kiitos. ♥

My father has passed away.

seerofsarcasm:

FUCK I CAN’T

reapersun:

CLICK FOR NSFW RPM

BTW IF YOU DON”T KNOW ABOUT THIS I STILL DO RPM OVER ON MY PERSONAL BLOG EVERY WEEK FYI

angrydumpling:

disgustinghuman:

elgin-marbles:

coleytangerina:

Some graffiti found in Pompeii’s ruins: 

• Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
• Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates.
• I screwed the barmaid.
• Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here.
• I screwed a lot of girls here.
• Sollemnes, you screw well!
• Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog.

Nice to see nothing has changed.

There is a website with all of the graffiti

no way

Twitter before twitter existed. Pompeii’s graffiti is one of my favourite historical things.

ladyt220:

swedishgirlies:

misswiz Sarah-Jane S 4h

Sorting through some old photos I found these of Benedict Cumberbatch in my house at uni. #beforetheywerefamous pic.twitter.com/PRoRgvpA6C

Oh. My. God.

corneliapornelia:

Benedict explaining the difference between the two characters

javeliner:

think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries