∙I tried to catch some Fog… but I mist.
∙When chemists die, they barium.
∙Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
∙A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
∙I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
∙How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
∙I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
∙I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
∙I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
∙They told me I had type a blood, but it was a type-o.
∙PMS jokes aren’t funny, PERIOD!
∙Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
∙Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
∙The Energizer Bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
∙I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
∙How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
∙Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
∙When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
∙I wondered shy the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
∙Broken pencils are pointless.
∙What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
∙England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
∙I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
∙All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
∙I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
∙Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
∙Velcro. What a rip off!
∙Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
∙I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
∙Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
∙NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.