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When Sally Ride became the first female astronaut and Geraldine Ferraro the first woman vice presidential candidate for one of the Big Two parties, I was pretty sure I was living in the world that the 1960s’ feminists had fought so hard to achieve: The post-feminist world.
The Equal Rights Amendment had failed to pass, but it didn’t matter; we were on equal footing as men. Sure, salaries hadn’t caught up quite yet, but that would take time. You couldn’t, overnight, put a bunch of women in top-salary positions. By the time I reached the workforce, all this would be behind us.
Except, it wasn’t.
I’ve had a lot of conversations lately with other women, about rape culture and harassment; about the pay gap; about why “feminist” isn’t a four-letter word (and it’s not just because it’s eight letters, either). One story keeps coming back to me as emblematic of all this: The Time I Didn’t Get the Same Vacation Allotment as the Dude Hired After Me.
Women often are blamed for being paid less. We don’t ask, we’re told. We don’t “lean in.” We don’t celebrate our accomplishments enough.
I was blamed for this in the aforementioned case, in fact, despite the fact that it simply wasn’t true.
I was done at The Miami Herald. After years of leaning in, and pushing my own accomplishments and being an overall pain in the ass, I’d reached a point where the politics of the situation were untenable. I do blame myself for some of this, because I hadn’t learned to pick my battles. I constantly battled. That gets annoying. So whatever. I was moving on. I got a job at The East Valley Tribune, outside of Phoenix – a smaller, scrappier paper, up against the 400 pound gorilla of The Arizona Republic.
I’d always had three weeks’ vacation and asked for the same at my new paper (before I accepted the job offer, mind you). I was told that no exceptions were made to the rule that you needed to be with the newspaper company (different from the Herald’s parent company) for a certain number of years to be eligible. I was still young, I really liked the newsroom attitude and was willing to make the sacrifice. After all, if this was the rule, and there were no exceptions, then everyone was in the same boat. Fine.
Except, that wasn’t true. A couple months after I joined the paper, another reporter my age was hired. We had about the same amount of experience, more or less. The paper he came from also had a different parent company. But, as it turns out, he asked for and was given — with no argument — three weeks’ vacation. I found this out in conversation with him several months later. I should have asked for three weeks, he told me.
Uh, I did. Now, mind you, this was not his fault. He asked for three weeks and was given it. What was he supposed to do? Ask if women hired around the same time as him had been given the same consideration? Of course not.
So I marched my fanny into the managing editor’s office and confronted him with this information.
I should have asked for three weeks, he told me.
Uh, I did. I then looked him in the eyes and suggested that I found it odd that a man hired right about the same time as me was given the vacation time with no argument, while I was told there were no exceptions and wouldn’t get it. Not to mention that I’d been put on the weekend shift while he had not (same thing happened after we were both made editors – despite my being made editor before him).
Needless to say, I was given the extra week of vacation on the spot.
But you know what? The entire situation sucked.
I don’t even think any of this was done purposefully. That kind of makes it worse.
It shows an innate bias toward men that isn’t even thought about. Or, at least, an innate bias against women. Either way, ugh.
I don’t want to be a feminist. I want to live in that post-feminist world I was promised.
But I don’t live in that world.
And I am a feminist. And damned proud to be.
Photo by cathredfern via Flickr Creative Commons.
Much has been made of Sheryl Sandberg’s book and exhortation to “Lean In”.
Funny thing is, my husband and I, many times, have talked about Leaning In – a Buddhist teaching. You lean in to the sharp points – when things get rough, instead of running away or trying to cushion them, you face them head on. You face the difficult times. You don’t give up or hide, you see that sharp point coming at you and lean in to it, get through it faster.
“But Sheryl Sandberg/Marissa Meyer/fill in the blank has so much more money than I do! She has a nanny. She grew up in a privileged home.”
So. What.
The ability to lean in, to fight for women’s rights – suffrage, the right to work in any job in any field – these have always been the realm of the privileged. Because the privileged have traditionally been the ones who can fight for equality because they’re not so busy trying to make sure their children have food that they don’t have time to do anything but work three jobs.
Sure, the privileged in the 1800s, when Susan B. Anthony was fighting for suffrage and the abolitionist movement, was a bit different than today. But Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s dad was a lawyer, Congressman and New York state Supreme Court Justice. The women who led the movement in the 1960s, most notably Betty Freidan and Gloria Steinem, while not wealthy, also were not impoverished.
But you know what? Anyone who wants to succeed needs to lean in. Success doesn’t come easy. Do women have more hurdles to leap than men? Much of the time, yes.
I wonder what the feminist greats of the last 200 years would think if they heard women complaining that they shouldn’t have to give up family or personal time or something else to have the same chance in the workplace as a man.
These women often sacrificed everything for their mission. They didn’t have children; they didn’t marry; they were sent to jail; they dedicated their lives to the struggle. We’ve come a long way, baby, but we ain’t there yet. Just because it’s easier today than it was 100 years ago doesn’t mean it’s easy yet.
Is it fair? Of course not.
No one said life was fair.
Still, it’s more fair for us than for
If it’s not fair, work to change it.
If it’s hard to work to change it, do it anyway.
When times get tough, lean in to those sharp points. Or, at least, don’t get mad at the women who do.
Photo by Kraemer Family Library via Flickr Creative Commons.
UPDATE: DKNY posted an apology on its Tumblr:
While I believe the explanation, as it appears to have been only the one store that did this, it just goes to show you shouldn’t use work you don’t have the rights to, even internally.
Also, I still think they should ante up more money to the YMCA.
I’ve see folks snag images off a Google search to use for blog posts. Sometimes it’s a company logo, sometimes it’s a photo illustration. Other times it’s a photo.
That’s not cool, and I go out of my way to search on Flickr’s Creative Commons stream or other stock image sites for photos I can use just with giving credit to the photographer. I’ve also used paid stock photo services in past jobs, and plan to again.
Some publications have taken a very lenient view toward others appropriating their content. Dwell, for example, embraced blogs such as Unhappy Hipsters that use Dwell photos (giving full credit to both the photographer and publication) because it is turning the photos into their own sort of art. And to fight against the use of their photos online is akin to plugging a crack in a pipe – another’s going to crop up.
But the case of DKNY (Donna Karan New York) and HONY (Humans of New York) is another entirely.
The image above is a screenshot of the HONY blog today, of part of the image a reader sent in, along with the beginning of the photographer’s explanation of what he’s writing about. Given that Brandon Stanton, the eye behind HONY, requested that people reblog the photo and share his story, made me feel comfortable in sharing the image here, though I’d rather you go to his blog and read it straight from hm.
Quick background: HONY is a fabulous Tumblr in which Stanton posts a photo of a different New Yorker each day, often with a little story about the person – if the person cooperates on that part.
Seems that someone from DKNY approached Stanton a while back, asking him for 300 of his photos to display in a store window. They’d pay him $15,000. That comes to $50 per photo. For the quality of his photos, that’s incredibly low, and given it’s from a company the size of DKNY, a tad bit insulting. So he asked for more money. They rejected his request and walked away.
Fast forward, and an eagle-eyed fan in Bangkok (yes, people from all over the world are HONY fans) sent Stanton a photo of a DKNY store there with his photos decorating the window.
I cannot imagine that is a coincidence. Same company? Same photographer? Nuh-uh. That’s just theft, plain and simple. Many fans have been posting on the DKNY Facebook page, and are starting to complain their comments are being deleted. Bad move.
There are a lot of gray areas on the Internet when it comes to copyright. This ain’t one of ‘em.
Do the right thing, DKNY. Stanton is asking that you donate $100,000 to the YMCA in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. Me? I think that’s letting you off cheap.
Imagine my surprise this weekend when I received an email and Facebook message from an Internet friend, Amy Akins, telling (and showing) me how someone on Facebook was using my face. Creepy, to be sure. But things could be much worse. She (or he or it, as this could well be a bot account) could be using my name. Could be trying to pretend to be me in more than just image.
At least all these people thought it was a great photo. You know, if they’re real. Still, this is the photo I’ve used for my social media profiles since late 2010. My friend noticed it because it’s pretty immediately recognizable as me. Not cool. So I reported the profile of Melissa Dugan as impersonation to Facebook. I told a group of friends, many of whom also reported it to Facebook.
I got on with my life, checked in now and again to see if anything had happened yet, and spent time with my family. Sunday morning, I checked in again. The profile was still up. No change. I posted an update on my Facebook profile, including the screenshot above, and asked folks to report the profile for impersonation, if they were willing. Dozens did, and for that I’m quite grateful.
By day’s end, however, still nothing had happened. At this point, several of my more intrepid friends had sent friend requests to Melissa Dugan to see what they could find out from the inside, if you will. She accepted several requests and my friends started investigating.
Yes, those are all photos of me. The first and fourth are stills from videos I posted on my profile at some point or another. The second and third were/are profile pictures of mine.
Many other photos from her profile were along the lines of this:
That was one of the tamer ones.
Then, I did the Graph Search (somehow, I forgot to screenshot it; ah, well). I couldn’t dig up much, as Dugan’s privacy permissions must have been pretty tight, but almost all the photos she had commented on were from Subway (the sandwich shop). Nothing against Subway, but I have never once commented on their page. OK, it might have something to do with the fact that I prefer Blimpie’s.
The only other photo she’d commented on publicly was one that included a yellow duckling calling black ducklings the N word. Classy. I believe her comment was “lmao.”
That’s when I started to get really pissed off.
We are, to a degree, our avatars. When I’m on Twitter, I rely on my friends not changing their photos and catching their faces (or cats or drawings or whatever) as they fly by. On Facebook, a quick glance at comments tells me who’s there when I might not have time to sit and read everything; I still know who’s around.
Look, you can say pretty much anything you want in this country. That’s why the United States is pretty freakin’ great, despite all its faults. And you’re entitled to *think* whatever you want. Be racist. Declare your love for weaponry of all kinds. Eat at Subway. Go for it! You’re not affecting me.
But you are affecting me when you use my face.
Right now, I can’t see Melissa Dugan’s profile on Facebook. The link is dead. But all my friends – those accepted as mutuals and not – still can. I do find it rather … bemusing … that a social media platform doesn’t really have staff on weekends to deal with things like this. What if the person had been using my name? What if the person had been wreaking havoc? Would I still have to have waited until Monday? That’s sure what it felt like.
It’s a pretty cut-and-dried case. I’ve had this photo for years, and lots of people have met me and can confirm it’s me. In fact, it was shot by a professional photographer at the Social Media Club booth at the BlogWorld Expo held at the Mandalay Bay in 2010. So it’s pretty easy to determine it’s me. This fake profile only appeared last summer.
Does this person know me? Is it a pointed “attack” on me? I tend not to think so, as this person made no attempt to make herself known to me. Hasn’t used my name.
But she’s used my face, and it’s the only one I’ve got.
UPDATE, 5:18 p.m. EST, Jan. 28: Facebook removed my photos from her profile! Thank you all so much for your support.
This was the note Facebook sent me:
Thank you for your report. The timeline you reported violates our community standard on identity and privacy, so we removed it. We let Melissa Dugan know that his timeline has been removed, but not who reported it (Facebook never discloses who submits a report).
Note “his timeline”. I wonder if that’s a function of the automated message from Facebook, or an indication of who created the account.
I don’t usually get all up in arms when a social media site I like changes its features.
Stuff happens. Things change. Improvise, adapt, overcome.
But when I heard the news about LinkedIn killing its Answers section today through my friend, Todd Van Hoosear, and then this article on AGBeat, I was upset. This, I feel, is a big misstep.
Maybe not everyone who uses LinkedIn uses the section. The people who do use it, however, find great value, and there are many.
When I answered a question there after I was laid off from my newspaper job a few years ago, that led to one of my first consulting gigs, which in turn led me to the path I walk now. So, sure, part of it is likely sentimental. I can be like that sometimes.
It’s more than sentiment, though. Answers was the best spot on the site to really show your stuff. Your profile can be stuffed with whatever. Groups may or may not be open to everyone, and so many are filled with so much spam that they’re nearly unnavigable.
Answers, though, was simple. Someone asked a question. People answered. Answers could be rated by the asker, and if someone repeatedly was graded as a “best answer,” it gave their replies in that section more weight. It allowed you to show what you really knew and find out what people really wanted to learn about.
On many of our platforms, we live in an echo chamber, surrounded by others who have similar skillsets. On LinkedIn, our personal network may be like that, as well as our groups, but in Answers, you could find anyone who knew something about anything. Sure, we have Quora now, and some of the questions and answers there are fascinating. But when you want to do business, LinkedIn is where you go. And where you ask your business-related questions.
Sadly, as of Jan. 31, that will be no more.
Photo by Alexander Henning Drachmann via Flickr Creative Commons.
Note: I’ve had the good fortune over the past few months to get to know Jennifer Windrum, a former newswoman like myself and a wonderful human being. She’s the force behind WTF for Lung Cancer (Where’s the Funding For Lung Cancer), the second most common cancer, and least funded. And, no, most new cases of lung cancer are not in people who smoked – her mom, for one. She launches her crowdfunding campaign for SMAC! – Sock Monkeys Against Cancer today (Nov. 1). Several of us are running a guest post from her today to help support her work. If you do nothing else, please read and share this. If you can, donate.
NoMo is the ringleader of “SMAC! – Sock Monkeys Against Cancer”, a gang of monkeys that provides tangible support to those with cancer, reminding them no one fights it alone.
Right now, NoMo is just a prototype.
But, with YOUR help, NoMo and his SMAC! buddy, Phoenix, can soon be in the hands of those with/impacted by cancer to help them SMAC! it, by pledging your financial support here.
(Check-writer only? See bottom of this post for details).
Funds pledged to my SMAC! campaign on the Start Some Good crowdfunding platform are used to launch my startup – the SMAC! Sock Monkeys Against Cancer product line, which so far includes two SMAC! monkey prototypes:
NoMo, the ALL cancer fighting monkey
Phoenix, the “WTF? (Where’s the Funding) for Lung Cancer?” fighting monkey
SMAC! Monkeys Phoenix & NoMo
I have one month to raise approximately $35,000 to launch the SMAC! monkey product line (November 1-30). You get some sweet rewards for pledging. Check them out here.
My ultimate goal: Create a custom monkey for each type of cancer.
My ultimate dream: Anyone diagnosed with cancer gets a SMAC! monkey from their hospital.
This whole entrepreneurial endeavor isn’t just about some random monkeys and attaching cancer to their name. It’s about my Mom… and too many others like her.
The SMAC! monkey line was inspired by my Mom, Leslie Lehrman, who was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer six years ago. No, she never smoked. ANYONE can get lung cancer (‘nother whole story).
Cancer can be a very lonely existence. Family and friends can’t always be there. My Mom lives more than 1,200 miles away, making her appointments, tests, scan results and treatments that much harder for both of us.
This is why I created SMAC! — to give Mom a “buddy” she could hug to remind her that I am with her.
It’s hard for me to describe how my boys (NoMo and Phoenix) make me feel. I look into their little eyes and they just make my heart melt. It may sound silly, but when I get up, I say ‘good morning’ to them too. They just make me happy…even on my darkest days.
-Leslie Lehrman (Mom)
Mom has taken her SMAC! monkeys everywhere – to chemo, doctor appointments and to the couch for some much needed rest (and snuggle time). She says they are now part of the family.
Mom and I want to build “SMAC! Nation,” a global movement in the fight against cancer that arms those with/impacted by this dang disease with cancer-crushing companions of the sock monkey kind.
With YOUR help, SMAC! Nation will be built with great philanthropic purpose, with giving at the heart of it all.
Tangible Support: Provide constant comfort, sock monkey “mojo” and a cancer-busting buddy to those moving through their cancer journey.
Giving: “One SMAC! = Two” Business Model: When you buy a SMAC! monkey, one will be given to someone with cancer (model to go into action the minute the company can financially sustain it).
Create Social Change: By giving to those impacted by cancer, you will also be contributing to advances in cancer research and programs (model to go into action the minute the company can financially sustain it).
So, doing good to create good – all bundled together in one package.
Following the implementation of One SMAC = Two, my next giving goal is to direct steady SMAC! corporate funds to the following:
National Coalition of Oncology Nurse Navigators – Professional organization that supports oncology nurse navigators assist patients and families to receive essential support services that help ease the burdens during cancer treatment.
Liz’s Legacy at the UNMC Eppley Cancer Center – One of 66 National Cancer Institute (NCI)-designated cancer centers in the U.S. Funds will be directed to lung cancer research.
I’m a huge advocate for ensuring people understand where their money is going when they give to any cause.
Yes, there is such a thing as conscious capitalism and I’m a big believer. “SMAC! Sock Monkeys Against Cancer” will operate under Jennifer Windrum Inc. as a socially conscious for profit company.
A good and successful example of combining a for profit with a social mission is TOMS Shoes. Like TOMS, SMAC! is more than just a product. It’s a movement that inspires people to want to help – to want to give – to want to be part of a larger mission to do good.
Please know I will be open, honest and forthcoming about where your SMAC! dollars go throughout the startup process and beyond.
For kids and adults alike, the SMAC! monkeys are ready to get down the business.
Join the movement! Help bring NoMo and Phoenix to life to help you and/or your loved ones SMAC! cancer. Pledge here!
I’m generally not one to shout “the sky is falling!” when free social media sites make moves toward monetization.
They’re free, after all, and at some point, they need to make some money. How they choose to make money is up to them. And if we don’t like it, we can go elsewhere.
With Instagram, though, it always seemed a bit different. Especially when Facebook shelled out gazillions for the app – that would seem to be the best monetization strategy, no?
And, it should be noted, Chirpify’s integration with Instagram isn’t a way for Instagram to make money, but rather a way to allow Instagrammers to buy and sell products beyond just their images (through services such as Instacanvas).
Sorry, let me back up. Chirpify is a web commerce platform. With the addition of the hashtag #InstaSale, Instagrammers will be able to buy and sell through the app without having to pull out their credit card or type in all sorts of security information. (It might be noted that you’ll want to be SUPER-careful who you let use your Instagram account if you have a Chirpify account.)
They’ve done something similar on Twitter, and just hooked into the Instagram API.
Speaking with some friends this morning, I was asked why this would be a bad thing. Those with Instagram accounts would still have to have quality images that would make people want to follow them and engage with them if they wanted to sell to them. Spammers wouldn’t be able to just drop in images to their nonexistent followers and peddle their wares, after all.
Except they would. There are many and varied hashtag communities on Instagram. Here in New York, probably the biggest and most vibrant is #igersnyc. Photos such as mine, in this post, taken in New York City, are hashtagged with #igersnyc and a huge community of photographers – professional and amateur – peruse them daily.
The community holds meetups and photography shows and is a true community that’s sprung up around the hashtag. While many professional photographers may have known one another before the advent of Instagram and gained large followings there, there also are many amateur photographers who’ve proved to have an excellent eye and find themselves to be active and popular members of the Instagram NYC community, founded by photographer Brian DiFeo (full disclosure – I moderated a panel that included him at Columbia University’s last Social Media Weekend).
While I don’t think anyone would be able to successfully hijack such a large and vibrant community as #igersnyc – it’s simply too large and spammers would be quickly reported and dealt with, I can see spamming of certain hashtags by people wanting to peddle their wares and not caring about the communities. Much like spammers attack trending topics on Twitter, could this happen on Instagram? Maybe Chirpify has things they do to prevent that from happening. I would hope so. But I do see problems for the lovely communities that have arisen on Instagram.
Maybe I’m being reactionary. Maybe I just have a problem with bringing commerce into Instagram when I haven’t with other platforms because I use it more personally. Maybe this was just my breaking point – does absolutely everything have to be about making money? Especially when it’s not the platform that’s going to be making money off this? Perhaps I’d have less of a problem with this if it were Instagram instituting this as opposed to a third party.
Many other photo apps have sprung up and do what Instagram does, even more attractively – tadaa, EyeEm, TinyPost – if Instagram becomes too commercial, could people begin moving to those platforms?
Or, just maybe, the sky won’t fall and everything will be fine.
A couple months ago, I got an email from my friend, Chris Kieff from Sprinklr asking if I’d participate in an e-book they were doing on the topic of #SocialAtScale.
I’m happy to do anything to help Chris out, and I thought it was an interesting topic, so I immediately accepted.
When it came time to actually write my entry, however, I was stumped. I had, quite literally, no idea what to say. That’s never stopped me before when I had an article to write on deadline, so I started writing. And kept writing.
It doesn’t matter what kind of enterprise you have – you have to care.
It goes beyond caring about your company, or caring about doing social right. It’s about caring enough for your employees that you give them the tools to do the job. It’s about caring about your customers. It’s about caring about your brand.
The book is chock-full of great chapters on important topics: Scaling the corporate social media strategy team, from Sarah Evans. That the willingness to change is vital to scaling social, by Mack Collier. Why your social accounts shouldn’t be left to the interns, from Jeff Bullas. And, of course, why companies need to embrace social, for that ever-vital Return on Relationship, by Ted Rubin.
Here’s the entire e-book, via Slideshare, or you can download it from Sprinklr.
I’ve lived in a lot of different places, and every time I moved, I vowed that I’d stay in touch with people better than I did the last time.
Easier said than done. After a few letters or phone calls, friendships gradually faded away, though the advent of email meant we could share stupid jokes that made the rounds until you saw every joke in the history of mankind at least a half-dozen times and began to regret ever signing onto email in the first place.
That’s besides the point, though. Fact is, until Facebook, there really wasn’t any way to really catch up with all those people who’d disappeared over the years. I’ve learned of one elementary school friend who responded heroically when a maniac shot up her office. Of college classmates who’ve risen to fame in Hollywood. Of friends who succumbed to the siren call of drugs and are still struggling to pick up the pieces.
And then there’s Christine.
My senior year of high school, I ran with a group of punks. Real punks – at least, as real as they could be in the suburbs. We lived in middle-class homes but listened to the Sex Pistols. Spiked hair, mohawks, ripped jeans, safety pins. And those weren’t retro or cool yet. We wore black on the outside because black was how we felt on the inside (yes, we listened to The Smiths, too).
I didn’t know Christine, then. She was the older sister of Justin, my dear friend and the heart of our group of friends. He was magnetic north. We gathered at his house after school more often than not. Most of our funny group stories revolved around him. One day, he and a couple other friends were teasing me and I got pissed off and stormed away. Next thing I knew, Justin was on his knees, asking my forgiveness. Sincerely.
Christine was in college already. She was a few years older than Justin. I don’t think I ever met her until his funeral.
You see, 25 years ago yesterday, Justin took his own life in the early morning hours. Broke the locks on the garage doors, turned the car on and died. His was a closed casket.
It was one of the seminal moments of my life and changed me forever.
The group of friends that surrounded Justin stayed tight for some time. The following summer, when I came back to Long Island to work at a weekly newspaper, our crowd had parties and hung out many weekends. Some were still in school, some were home from college, some were about to head to college for the first time.
During my sophomore year, my parents moved from New York to California. As happens in life, I gradually lost touch with almost all the friends from that group. I kept in touch with Justin’s mom for several years, but after I moved from Florida to Arizona and she moved and her phone number changed, even that faded away.
Still, every Aug. 8, I awoke with a pit in my stomach, which wouldn’t go away until I remembered why. You’d think after a decade or so, I might remember why I felt so bad around that date every year, but something in my brain switched off – almost as if it was trying to protect myself, but failed because now I felt crappy and couldn’t figure out why.
A few years ago, Facebook came into the picture and I started getting friend requests from people I knew growing up on Long Island, at the Connecticut summer camp where I was a CIT, in college, in Florida, in Kentucky, in Arizona – all the places I’d lived over the years. One such request was from John, my closest friend in that high school cabal, and Justin’s best friend. It was so great to be in touch with him again; he posted photos of us from high school, some with Justin and some without – all reminding me of the joy and the pain.
We messaged privately sometimes, just to catch up on people, so as not to be discussing them publicly. He said he was in touch with Christine, Justin’s sister. Would I want to connect with her?
Duh. Of course. I reached out tentatively, saying I didn’t know if she remembered me. I hadn’t realized how connected she was to Justin’s life back then. She knew damn well who I was and was happy I’d reached out.
We chatted on Facebook, discovered we had a lot of likes and dislikes in common and though we’d never spoken since Justin’s funeral, began building a friendship that sprang from a mutual loss but was built on mutual respect and common interests.
John died suddenly, unexpectedly, about a year later. We consoled each other. I sent Justin’s mom a prayer card from John’s funeral. We mourned again, this time as adults grateful for the time we’d been back in touch with John rather grieving the years we knew we’d never have with Justin. It wasn’t easier, per se, but we were older and we understood grief better. And a natural death, even unexpected and sudden at 40, is different than a suicide at 16. Not better, just different. At 40, we’ve had more experience with death and know that, in time, the pain can subside and become tolerable.
Still, Christine and I had never talked on the phone. We emailed back and forth and were so grateful for John having put us in touch with one another, because it brought some meaning to his loss, in a sense. I know I’m not phrasing it well, and I know how much his death rocked his family – his mother, his sister, his wife, his daughter — but for me, I think of John and I quietly thank him for bringing Christine back into my life.
Last year, on Aug. 8, I posted something about Justin. Christine responded almost immediately. I realized she didn’t really know how much Justin’s friendship and death had meant to me. The next day, I breathed deeply, picked up the phone and called.
For about an hour, we talked. We cried. I mean, we SOBBED. We laughed. I finally had the chance to tell her how amazing her brother was and how his death had changed me for the better, despite the searing pain I still felt.
And this year, as the anniversary came up – the 25th anniversary – my brain did what it does, and I forgot. I remembered a couple weeks ago, determined not to forget this year. And yet, I did. Then, sitting at my computer somewhere around midday yesterday, I remembered. And then I looked at my Facebook mail and saw a message from Christine.
Despite the fact that reading her message made me cry, I suddenly didn’t feel so alone.
Photo via Flickr Creative Commons by Jana Shea.
So much has been said and written about Digg in the past couple weeks since it was announced the final assets of the once-mighty site were sold to betaworks for the seemingly paltry sum of $500,000.
I really didn’t plan on writing another post about it, but my piece on Punk Views on Social Media was noticed by the good folks over at The Pulse Network and Tyler Pyburn asked me to appear on his weekly show, The Pulse on Digital Marketing.
We talked about several interesting topics, including the actions Digg took that helped destroy its community, how Reddit managed to thrive and what other sites can learn from Digg’s mistakes.
The entire interview is less than 12 minutes and embedded below. I’d love to hear what you think about my comments – and if you agree or disagree!
Image via ncomment’s epic War 3/3
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Posts
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I’m pretty sure that Mother’s still not gonna enjoy that party. #justsayin
via klappersacks:
1948-(via File Photo) on Flickr.
That always seems to work on #StarTrek. Give it a shot.
via georgetakei:
From the Enterprise IT Department.
Scarlett Johanssen: #BAMF
via purplesmauge:
I love this new trend of actresses calling reporters out on their bullshit.
Can I just, Renner’s face is the second and third frames. He’s so disappointe in the male race at that moment. And so proud of Scarlett.
Scarlett Johansen, you are badass.
IT’S LIKE IT’S MAGIC. I swear, I’ve watched the bottom gif about 4,000 times and still don’t understand.
via cineraria:
This gif set is FANtastic. Only wish I’d had a cuppa every time this happened.
via annetdonahue:
The importance of consent: a narrative.
Friends don’t let friends post without source credit.
via sarapsys:
posting without a source is unfortunately pretty common, but it doesn’t have to be. with a few minutes of hunting, you can make sure the artists you like get credit for their work! :) hope this is helpful.
OMG, this is the plot of #LOTR, 100%. Every parent should make their children read the series when they get old enough to.
via tastefullyoffensive:
[via]
Our Founding Fathers. As pin-ups.
via explore-blog:
Founding Father Pin-Ups, 2nd Ed.: Tread on Me
And now for some subversive commentary on the objectification of women…
Spoiler alert! #GameOfThrones #hodor
In this mysteriously leaked DVD commentary for Season 4 of “Game Of Thrones,” author George R.R. Martin drops some MASSIVE plot bombshells. (x)
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I spent nearly 20 years as a professional daily newspaper journalist before the Great Newspaper Culling of 2008.
Overnight, I made the transformation from old media to new. I've been featured in articles on The New York Times, Forbes and PRNewswire. I've been published on The Next Web, Slashdot's Business Intelligence and Punk Views on Social Media.
I've also been a guest or guest host on several well-known podcasts, including Pulse on Marketing, The Drill Down, The Urly Show and Social Blade and Beer Diplomacy.
An inaugural inductee of the New Jersey Social Media Hall of Fame, I've spoken at many conferences and events, including SXSW Interactive, Columbia University's Social Media Weekend, SMX East, Internet Week, ROFLCon and Affiliate Summit East.
Not least, I am married to the most supportive husband in the world and have two young sons.
Oh, and I'm also known as the Bacon Queen, running the only bacon news aggregator on the Internet. Take that, Matt Drudge.
Run the social marketing practice for an Internet startup that builds technology platforms that allow publications, businesses and brands to make meaningful connections with users.
IML leverages intelligent automation, or SmartAgents™, to "decode" the Digital DNA of the Internet, linking and interacting with consumers to create new engagement paradigms.
Our mission is simple but ambitious: To facilitate and ultimize the ability of advertisers to connect with consumers.
Freelance writer and editor (ranging from tech to humor and everything in between) and new media strategist for a variety of companies, ranging from individuals to Fortune 500.
Work with clients to determine the best strategies in digital and social media marketing.
• Oversee all social media marketing efforts for clients of BlueGlass Interactive, among the company's Content, Viral, Blogger Outreach and Social Media divisions.
• Supervise more than a dozen staff who work with clients on strategies for content, viral, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Meetup, Foursquare and other efforts.
• Help the company identify social media marketing trends and determine which new opportunities should be incorporated into client strategies.
• Represent the company in speaking engagements around the country.
As director of viral marketing strategies, I am the direct link between BlueGlass and many of its clients. By communicating with them regularly and consistently via telephone, IM and e-mail, I help them balance their expectations and needs and ensure they're getting what they're paying for.
I also:
• Conduct training sessions and social media audits.
• Review content prepared for social media campaigns.
• Work closely with other viral marketing employees and other departments to ensure tight integration of all social media programs & initiatives.
• Write about social media for the BlueGlass blog.
• Analyze and evaluate both existing and potential social media activities and strategies.
I covered the subject of open source for the enterprise in the site's "Pragmatic Open Source" blog: http://www.networkworld.com/community/blog/12313
• As metro editor of the Rockland edition, I ensured a staff of up to 17 reporters covered the daily news of this county of nearly 300,000 residents. We had our own front page and local section, generally filled with staff-produced articles. Our edition accounted for a third of the paper’s circulation and a significant percentage of the daily page views. After staff cuts, I took on the additional role of education editor, a job I had filled for my first year at The Journal News.
• I co-ran the TV blog, Remote Access (www.remote.lohudblogs.com); created, administered and occasionally wrote on the Inside Rockland local news blog (www.insiderockland.lohudblogs.com); administered and wrote for The Hall Monitor education blog (www.hallmonitor.lohudblogs.com), including a project where we published lists of graduates from as many as would provide the info of the 80+ high schools and colleges in the three counties in LoHud.com’s coverage area, which garnered significant page views; and contributed to the parenting blog, “ice cream is not for breakfast” (www.kidnutrition.lohudblogs.com), one of six moms wroting about the challenges of feeding our children.
• Developed skills in SEO and social media. First developed my social media profile, driving a siginificant amout of traffic to LoHud.com, including one story that garnered 32,000 hits in one afternoon.
Started as a reporter, moved up to Assistant Metro Editor, was Acting Metro Editor for a few months and then was promoted to Deputy Metro Editor.
• As a reporter, I was part of a team that won a Thomson newspapers award for in-depth reporting on the water situation in Arizona.
• As an editor, I managed reporters who covered education, religion and health, as well as producing special sections and managing large data releases from the state Education Department.
• As Deputy Metro Editor, I also was in charge of the Sunday paper - enterprise planning, story assignments and line editing.
Covered cops, obits and municipal government in my nearly six years here. During that time, I was a member of the staff that won the Pulitzer Prize for public service for coverage of Hurricane Andrew. Evacuated with co-workers and my bosses for the duration of the storm, I was among a group who worked almost nonstop for two days to help put out an extra edition before the storm hit and two editions in the immediate aftermath.
Covered everything from cops and courts to planning and zoning. Wrote a story about the family reunion of siblings who’d been separated at a young age by adoption when their father went to jail after a bar fight and their mother was unable to afford to care for all but the two eldest. Two sisters were still missing; one found her family due to my article and I covered the tearful reunion.
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Poor Morrissey. He’s cardboard.
Oh LOOK 👀 who came home with me 😍 @parttimepunksla @dirtysnapshots #thesmiths #morrissey
Poor Morrissey. He looks like he’s just started to fall down a flight of stairs.
charlotte-it-was-really-nothing:
♥
Poor Morrissey. Scott Ian hates Suedehead.
Poor Morrissey. His body rejects sunlight.
Who sunbathes in socks? Morrissey sunbathes in socks. He is immune to tanlines because his body rejects sunlight.
Poor Morrissey fell in the mud. Is that mud? Poor me. I am not sure if that’s mud or a mirror.
Whatever. Poor Morrissey. He fell.
charlotte-it-was-really-nothing:
This Charming Man♥
Wonder if it was because of his bday or just coincidence but the Weather Channel used the Smiths as background music for their “weather on the 8s” this morning. What was once alternative is now suitably pleasant ambiance for septuagenarians to get their daily forecast. Poor Morrissey.
Poor Morrissey. It’s his birthday.
(via Unhappy Birthday: 14 Photos Of Morrissey Celebrating His Birthday With Cats! : Gothamist)
Poor Morrissey. Didn’t the artist know it was REM who wrote I Am Superman? (via The Post-Punk on Behance)
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#i have this scenario in my head ever since this scene happened #a dying walter smelling something and remembering #an other last sam weiss music vid moment #yep, my brain is a happy place
Fringe Science
This listing is for the entire series of Fringe science experiment inspired iconography art prints. “Warning: An Experiment of Great Importance in Progress.” Collect all your favorite Fringe science posters and show your friends and family that you believe in the future.
Fringe; season 4
Altivia: Do you think that someone could have caused this?
Walter: On purpose? Anything’s possible, even Santa Claus.
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This article is really wally, people do not be aware of the author’s writing situations. I want to introduce it to more people, so the more the body will be such a good feeling….
This article made me feel shines. After doing some reading of this article, I encouraged a lot. I will pay more attention to your blog. I hope everyone like me hereharvest happy, bring in moved….
— On a link roundup post
A work of a harvest,accurately because of your troublesome writing, we can feel so much felicity, learn more our own understanding of their. The world could be so splendid….
— On a link roundup post
A {good|okay|wally|wonderful|great|splendid|dulcet} article will {make people horizons broadened mood|widen one’s horizon|open up one’s eyes|broaden one’s horizon|let you travel broadens the mind} because the article is true, make us {move|electro…
If you conside rI do not care to set eyes on this article, the next time I am followed about your article, I think I will never again careless. Do you trust yourself, you do not know your article can make people so enchanted….
— On a link roundup post
It is strongly recommended that you carry a new needle and thread as part of your survival kit. These materials can be used to repair torn clothing. You can also stitch up a wound to quit heavy bleeding in case an injury occurs and you can not get medi…
— On a post about taking online relationships offline
Other countries censor content and not just rogue regimes such as the Iranian mullocracy. Poor people!
— On a post about Versioning systems
That is very interesting, You’re an excessively skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to searching for extra of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks
— On a post about Supernatural
Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to understand a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I believe that you just could do with a few percent to force the message home a bit, however instead of that, that is fantastic blog. A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.
— On a post about Hawaii 5-0.
I enjoy your thunderstorm … however with no energy…it’s going to be any hot nighttime!
- On a post about Swagapalooza
avenue of Oro Canyon Road, and she turned to her host gaily. all, we French are supposed to be experts at this sort of thing.” “You on the rag?” he shot back at her. His eyes were blazing. “No shit? You on the fuckin’ rag!” flooding young cunt, loving the sound of her grunts of pleasure. He was Giuliano. No, she would have to be perfect for him. Never would she let into her mouth, forcing her sucking, fish-like lips apart with each voyeuristic thing about watching such an act as Danny had shown. “Yeah!” I can’t … And then she was, her lips and tongue burrowing in the trust back home she now resented this tone of her mother, suggesting
Post where comment was submitted: http://blog.asha.org/2012/02/21/the-time-has-come-for-speech-language-pathology-license-portability/
Topic: Speech-language pathology license portability
I’m trying tο find a fυnnу/dirty name fοr mу squad іn battlefield 3 аnd I don’t know whаt tο name іt
Posted to: http://blog.asha.org/2012/01/26/best-new-games-for-speech-therapy/
Topic: speech therapy games
Wow. Pleasant, huh? That’s pterty funny.Hopefully your mother doesn’t share gems like, “Oh yes, we had her tested for retardation because she just wasn’t right” or “We almost gave her back to the adoption agency because she cried for the first year we had her” TO ANYONE SHE MEETS. Even now. And I’m 36. And not retarded. Nor crying.
Posted to:http://blog.asha.org/2012/01/31/low-tech-speech-therapy/
topic: low-tech speech therapy
i think im pregnant
— On a post about student loan debt
One thing i enjoy pertaining to your blog site is you normally posting immediate to the stage advice.
— On a blog post about the relative worth of bachelor’s degrees
You need to get irritated! Easily informing the particular quota happen just isn’t acceptable. Now this will let you take the up coming ways to be able to becoming thriving.
— On a post about the relative worth of bachelor’s degrees
I have a filling that your every post is most popular. I think your work is amazing and i like it every time. I need some of informetion of the topic that you allways write. I will must come to you for the further informetion. Do as you are doing and i think your work is the best. thanks for your nice post that had given me sone of lthe new informetion. It will be very bad if i don’t say thanks to you. this is entertainmetn today saing good bye and the best for the next post.
— On a post about the 24 movie.
I know this guy named Anthony Morrison and he was going to school to be a doctor when a little something happened to his family to spark him to change course. From desperation, he managed to put together a system for making some speedy money on the net. Long story short, his system worked splendidly and his household difficulties were looked after. As well as, he grew to become the an exceedingly young millionaire along the way. At any rate, there is a new tutorial where he speaks about his journey and how he was able to accomplish this. I myself thought it was extremely fascinating and you will also. Here is a connection to the video footage: http://[siteredacted]/go/318
— On a post about the perfect banner ad
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Yeah it was a dark and stormy night. Now you know if that’s not right. Yes, a little dark as night. And yes, I was just wondering, but this is no ordinary start. It appears that the eric cellphones black outside of the rain last window except of course in the right thing to car across the sky for a brief moment eliminating the cobblestone streets like noon Place. Henry thrown not Leslie on the roof leaking through HI in details, strewn about the small house. I laid in bed. Sure, the tears though. The total darkness outside concealed. Bye. I waited for a flash of lightning to reveal what I was certain things.
Hi Honey, It’s me, and I, I think I’ve followed up with. Mall stuff already I’m not sure if I get the Closer to the blocks or not. I will let you know You can call me between now and 5 o’clock. If you want to just touch base about the fishing poles Anderson people that I mentioning to, or if you guys. And if not. I just a virgin will be fine. Anyway, thank you for years and I’ll be back. My number is (xxx) xxx-xxxx. Again. You know my number is 616, like a lot. Express, bye.
Hey monkey. I never got around to buying line for you today. I just realized and You should get wiring a bottle of wine. If you want to get it when you get. Or maybe I called you yesterday, the earlier and told you about, the one situation i don’t remember. I love you, call me.
Hey guys, and bye and eat okay bye in the, and our our sales department. Hey at email. Rememberthat you’re hey champagne we get to him, and I would say I love performing core. We are usually I justwanted to speak to you. I hope you can take care. I just want to go production with. We are onlyappointment. I will. Hey T birthday at yeah hey it’s Friday at 7 PM. Hey Sandy. So with the door andthey retile, hey pay me.
Starting on Wayne. It’s Dave. It’s. I’m flying in its own abdominal tumor in Boston, tomorrow. I was just wondering if you get. Anyway, I was trying to get some is to Garden Party. You Know put around noon. My number is (555) 555-5555. The yet Minnesota, chasta’s course after the party. Yes, loving you and I just going to the crew deal go quite wants sources, ohh my god, it’s awesome. Even if you ever going to that out the Yeah, I’ll talk to you more about it later. Love you bye.
Good Evening about a parents at this time, we want to remind you that taxi ride to school will be in session. Thursday, April 4th, and Friday April 5th. Please take in consideration our attendance policy. For, tazinsky Ronnie school number 7 absence is of 9 days or more or 15 or more, tardiness would jeopardize your Charles placement in the Gifted and Talented program, so please make any necessary arrangements for your child to be in school. Thursday, April 4th, and Friday April 5th. We thank you for your continued support. And have a great evening with.
And hey hey young. Bye. We’ll be happy to assist you. We return July. Bye so bye, and, hey, hey. Bye for. Please continue to hold your call is important to you alright. Bye bye. So hey hey. I. Hey, hello hey please stay on. Melisa representative will be with you shortly, Hello. He, Hey and, hey hey bye thanks for holding we’ll be right with you. So bye clear. Bye.
Bye. Hey, hey that hey hey. I have the bomb Like I said okay. I’ve gotten. He you know I have a yahoo account with us. This. Hey, some type of thing. This message, and please okay. I think in insane. I think the there. Yeah.
A multi I love you and sir, and I’ll try your other phone. I don’t, bye.
Wanted. King says He is bowler did. May the awful Rollins iron telephone number 36 Absolutely. I’ll call back later. The did make it.
Hello This is Tony month 0 and this is a message from your Elizabeth, Board of Education. Hurricane stand is expected to reach our area. And has the potential to court major damage due to high winds in excess of rain. The Elizabeth Board of Education has been closely monitoring the development and tracking of the store. As a result. The review of the most coverage weather data and I was careful coordination with local emergency management officials our schools as well as our administrative offices will be close. On Monday, October 29th and Tuesday October 30th, every precaution is being made to insure for the safety and security of our students, as well as our team members, your. It was the Board of Education is doing everything possible to prepare for this major storms and we are concerned about the safety of wall of our cities residence our advice. Is that you enjoy the time at home with your loved ones in the hole and it’s is a patient. That this storm does not severely impact or hurt our cities. This is your Board of Education member, probably months zero reaching out to let you know that you should stay home, and be safe. God Bless.
From: Google Voice
Date: September 28, 2012, 10:16:47 AM PDT
To: (redacted)
Subject: New voicemail from (redacted) at 10:15 AM
Redacted at 10:15 AM
Hello Good Morning, this is Thomas, just when you get a chance. I know you’re busy. What When you get a chance to speak to me a call. I’d just like system. No news to. I was going to suck cock, and. Yeah. Okay, talk to you Later. Bye Bye.
Hello, This is Andrea read the principal at Hopkins in elementary school with a brief message about late. The blows Alameda Education Foundation. Each year late. Don’t AIDS well over 100,000 registered. The hire additional intervention teachers who are signs that process, Subject area with the most critical me included Wrangler to Maths and Science, intervention teachers help. All students receive more individual attention and targeted instruction. Hey. If this is an intervention teachers to and already except so if you can staff was a critical component. Alas, you’re successful disturb white increased. Eight-ish your late Annual Campaign call as, 150000. I’m not gonna be can accomplish cheaper Hopkins in students today, late has raised over 43,000, towards the Annual Campaign call. Have, 150000. If you haven’t already done so. Please make. Hey Pat, deductible donation til late by visiting the website at www, dot, L, 8, eat ass, the number 4. Hey kids, dot org, or by returning your donation and theirself address envelope mailed to you over the summer. Additional envelopes are also available in the school office, I’ll follow up letter from label also be landed him soon. I enjoy my job. It’s principal at Hawkins and and sincerely appreciate your commitment to helping it achieve, and maintain additional instruction hours would allow us to continue our end of July okay on your children. Thank you and make it a great day.
Yes, I was calling to the put the ad in the how long. I have a 994-5450 Super Duty 20 price in your bus. At the V H, our strip. The. So can be saying oh sorrowful broken. Wayne people. For More Information, 07347111. And my number is 55033 and 4th. Thank you
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Hard to believe it’s been only five weeks since I panned the series premiere of BBC America’s Orphan Black. I’m tempted to admit I was wrong, but technically I wasn’t. I described “a potentially interesting storyline mired in a quicksand of background and setting.” That was true. I was an editor for 16 years – still [...]
I spent the first chunk of season 4 of Arrested Development looking at the prisoner number on Lucille’s chest and wondering why it looked so familiar. It was making me crazy, so I finally Something’d it, and realized that “07734″ typed into an old calculator and then turned upside down, spelled “hELLo”. In ADs world, [...]
THEN: Some editor takes the lyrics of “Carry On My Wayward Son” pretty literally, and all the other important trial stuff. NOW: Sheriff Jodi finds herself on a blind date with Crowley, and we all know this can’t end well. Of course, Crowley knows all about Sheriff Jodi’s awful family nightmare, and he uses it [...]
THEN: Metatron, third trial (cure a demon), Abadon. NOW: Do you remember “Wendigo” waaaaaay back in season one? No? CLIP! (“Wendigo” was one of my LEAST favorite early eppys). The guy from that episode wasn’t so freaked out that he didn’t go back in the woods, and this time, he doesn’t make it. His lady [...]
I’m not sure where to start. The past couple of days have been heady, smile-inducing craziness for those of us who love our television. Of course, it has been the long heralded death knell for some people’s favorite shows, and I am sure they are mostly sad, even though nothing that was cancelled in the [...]
“Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they’re speaking to me. Or they’re talking to themselves.” -Alan Rickman as Metatron, from the movie “Dogma” (1999) So of course we meet Metatron in this episode. We’ve met pretty much everyone else, haven’t we? I [...]
Holy mackerel! Talk about catching lightning in a bottle. What are the odds? Episode 22 of CBS’ Hawaii Five-0 concerns a young girl kidnapped and held hostage for a decade. During the closing credits, local news teases the day’s biggest real-life story: Three girls missing for a decade turn up in Cleveland. Okay, so Cleveland [...]
If you believed the promo monkeys on this episode, then you would have thought it was all about Charlie and Dean fighting their way out of some video game. Silly promo monkeys! That was just a small part of “Pac Man Fever”. Quite frankly, there wasn’t much to this episode. Basically, we have the Winchesters [...]
Would it surprize you that sometimes I watch old episodes of Supernatural just for fun? No? Well, I was watching some season two eppys on Netflix, and guess who showed up in “Bloodlust”? Our angsty little vamp, Benny. And he was playing a vampire! Who was a “vegetarian”. Someone digs Ty Olssen playing a vampire. [...]
Season 3, Episode 20 of CBS’s Hawaii Five-0 is little more than a time killer. Actors Terry O’Quinn and Jimmy Buffett guest star as McGarrett mentor Joe White and helicopter pilot Frank Bama, respectively, but add little to the plot – which is ridiculous. It was ridiculous when McGarrett infiltrated North Korea in Season 2, Episode 10, [...]
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I know viral.
Recovering journalist.
Bacon Queen.