Valentine’s day music selections can be tricky. Sometimes, you have to learn the hard way that the special song you selected to soundtrack a tender moment with yo girl is actually about a bitter divorce (we’ve all been there, don’t sweat it).
In honor of today, here are 14 excellent relationship-related songs that you probably shouldn’t be putting on a mix today.
Unless you’ve lost all faith. Or are addicted to heroin.
Best of luck.
1) The Pains of Being Pure At Heart- “A Teenager In Love”
“…you don’t need a friend when you’re a teenager in love with Christ and heroin…”
2) Black Kids- “You Only Call Me When You’re Crying”
3) Amy Winehouse- “Just Friends”
in which Amy recounts an affair with a married man
4) Local Natives- “You & I”
“when did your love go cold?”
5) Misfits- “Helena”
“if I cut off your arms and I cut off your legs, would you still love me anyway?”
addendum: no, probably not.
6) Lily Allen- “Littlest Things”
don’t let that Celeste and Jesse Forever scene fool you, this song is nothing happy.
7) The Mountain Goats- “The Mess Inside”
8) Jeff Buckley- “Lilac Wine”
alcohol-fueled yearning for better times.
9) The National- “American Mary”
“your arms around my shoulder blades are useless”
10) Regina Spektor- “Bartender”
“love is so fickle/ it starts with a flood and ends with a trickle”
11) 2pac feat. Tyrese- “Never Call U Bitch Again”
applaud the resolve, but you really put yourself in a hole there
12) Elliott Smith- “Don’t Go Down”
a toxic bond, doomed
13) The xx- “Sunset”
a great re-mix by Jamie xx, but
14) 50 Cent feat. Tony Yayo- “I Just Wanna”
a bit too up-front, nah mean