Adam McCabe

Worst thing to happen to me was moving next to a Del Taco. Second worst thing? MY OLD BONES.

@Dave_Horwitz @AlisonAgosti Guys, please see my Gru tweet from yesterday. Gaining traction. Niiiiiight. ;)

Just got excited when I realized I had ice cream waiting at home, so, yes, I own Disney movies (blu-ray) and have no kids.

@thebirthdayboys IS TIM PREPPING FOR CUE DICK?!?! #CueDickOnIFC #CueDick #CueDickNation

What's GRU, pussycat? Pls RT

Threw away some vegetables to make room for my ice cream. After that, I threw away my treadmill to make room for my hedonism couch.

Knew the SECOND that list named Mad Men one of the best written shows in TV history, some smarmy commercial would rub it in our faces.

So humbled/honored to have won the Softest Hair in Comedy Award for my third straight year. Thanks to all who voted.

@joelrubin Drove down a street towards him on the wrong side of the road. He had his lights on & blasted past me; would have hit me, if so.

An LAPD officer under oath told a judge I did something I didn't do. He smirked at me when the judge said he believed him. LAPD is garbage.

The only "revival" band I like: https://t.co/Q4JiD8Csf3

@BenjaminJS They also skipped a seat between each other at the movie theater, but reached over into each other's popcorn tubs constantly.

Two movies I remember taking my mom to see in the theater: The Horse Whisperer and Black Swan. This means I am a good son and love animals.

Kid across from me at lunch screamed, "I want soda!" & to stop her shrieks, the dad gave it to her. She smirked at me. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

Every night before I go to bed, I pray to God for irrefutable proof of the paranormal/supernatural.

Thanks to this email confirming I can ride the new Six Flags rollercoaster before the park opens, I understand the joy/pride of a parent.

Here's my in depth review of #Yeezus: http://t.co/9h51Q9S2nc

@film114 Thanks! That's how I describe everything I do.

Just saw a beautiful young and romantic couple passionately kiss under a streetlight. In other news, AT&T sucks.

Just won a million dollars. NBD. WAIT...BD! Very BD!