Neil Hamilton
Hi, I am a student of Silent River Kung Fu, and this is my journey to mastery in kung fu. I am in my second year of the UBBT challenge or as it is being called this year. The I Ho Chuan , year of the dragon.
Neil hamilton's UBBT8 challenge
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Posts
- Apr 28, 13
This last week has definitely been a nice change. Warm weather hitting double digits, so nice. My whole neighbourhood is coming alive with activity as everyone gets outside and starts on their yardwork and flowerbed prep. I especially enjoy the longer daylight hours. Being able to walk Doogie at 8 pm and still be light out is so nice. I always feel myself becoming more alert and active as spring becomes a reality. Mowing the lawns, racking the leaves, watering the garden are chores, but chores I enjoy doing. I have started running 3 or 4 days a week again. It is so nice to be able to run without all the ice and slush. My knee is thankful I know. It actually is feeling pretty good with just the occasional bit of discomfort. I am continueing to wear my brace running, just to be on the safe side. It is still crazy busy around my household but that is the norm lately. I spent this past Saturday with Shelby at open training. She is practising every day, so proud of her. Her Da Mu Hsing is coming along nicely and we went over her red stripe combos. It has been along time since I did any of the white bely curriculum. Something I should do more often as it is the base of the pyramid and without a solid base you are just creating a wobbly pyramid. I am striving hard to achieve my blue belt. Its definitely a big step in my journey. Time to walk the dog, think I'll run him a bit tonight, good for him and me.
- Apr 21, 13
My daughter has now begun her journey in kung fu. I am so excited for her. She wanted me to be on the mats for her first class but I told her that I thought it would be better if I just sat and watched. It is definitely hard to just sit there and try to by impartial, but I want her to get her own confidence and to feel as much at home in the kwoon as I do. The next few weeks are going to very busy with my whole family involved in a number of different activities. There are going to be a lot of hi/byes at the door as we pass each other. Fortunately its only for a month or so. We'll get through it, somehow we always do. I'm on a new work site now. Back downtown again for 7 to 8 months. Building an expansion to a data center in the Edmonton City Center Mall. It is definitely challenging as it is a 4000 amp service with 13800 volts being fed up to the roof from the basement. I expect I am going to be working some long days and hours this summer. I don't mind as it will all help pay for our trip to Mexico for my nieces wedding this coming November. If life wasn't hectic it would be boring. Time for a well deserved sleep and the beginning of a new week.
- Mar 25, 13
This past week I went and banged my knee at work and of course it hurt like crazy. I hit it right on the side of the kneecap, ouch and a few other words came to mind. This weekend I decided to no longer let my injuries restrict my training. I have been shying away from the San shou class and was justifying it by saying it's only until I get better. But I really sat and had a long look inside myself. I realized I was accepting mediocrity again. I can attend class and just do what I am able, and modify the rest. I don't have to do everything and kill or re-injure myself. I don't have to worry about what everyone else in the class is doing. I can do the best I am able, and push myself to my own limits. I have heard this said a number of times, but I was sitting there folding laundry and thinking about my Kung Fu it finally sunk in. I can learn a little by watching, but only by doing am I really going to learn and improve. One small step on the road to mastery even if it's sideways is better then standing there doing nothing or running backwards and not realizing it.
- Mar 18, 13
I think I managed to retreave all of this post. Here's hoping. This is the first week after the banquet and it has been strange. You would think I would love having all the extra time from no extra practises but that isn't the case. I miss the team and commraderie(spelling police check). I'm always amazed at how I get set into a routine and when it suddenly isn't there I feel all out of sorts. I definately felt like something was missing in my training this week. I know my wife appreciates having me home more, and I got to spent more time catching up on my family's activities. That I do enjoy. My family is important to me and sometimes I get to involved in my training and I get selfish. I need to get my family more involved and invested in my kung fu so that they see and understand what it is I'm trying to achieve. Without the support of my family I'll never achieve my black belt or any form of mastery. This week I have been focusing on what I really need to improve to achieve my blue belt. That's the next goal I have set. My forms and techniques feel good, of course forms can always be improved. Board breaking I know all the mental aspects, hopefully my injuries won't affect the physical to much. Chokes defences I need to review big time and get down pat. Look out open training here I come. The other goal I have set myself is to miss as few classes as possible this year. If I'm not in class I'm not learning and staying engaged in my training. I believe blue belt to be a big step on the way towards achieving my black belt. I have alot of hard work ahead of me, but if I can just approach my training in a mindful way, I know I can get it done.
- Mar 18, 13
My last two blog post are somehow stuck in draft limbo. I have been trying to enhance my blog site and I have obviously messed something up. I love technology, but sometimes it likes to play jokes on me. I can get part of my one blog but the other is blocked atm. So will have to see if the old memory is up for a challenge. I think I have managed to reset things properly and I guess I'll find out the hard way when I post this blog. This past week has been good, all the snow hasn't bummed me out like I thought it would. If anything my walks with Doggie have been amazing. So peaceful and quiet. Even slugging through the deep snow has been enjoyable. Todays walk completely replenished my spirit. The sun was warm, not a sound except for the occasional bird and no wind as we walked along the trail beside the train tracks. I am so looking forward to no snow or ice. But today it just didn't matter. I love the ahhhhhhhhh moments in life.
- Feb 19, 13
Saturday nites banquet was fun, inspiring, happy sad and most definately awesome. I so look forward each year to the banguet. Yes it's a ton of work, but in the end it is always worth it. I was more nervous this year then last. The demo with Sifu(know I'm gonna mess that up a few times) Robinson was very fast paced and intense and being his nite I wanted to to the best job I could for him. Yay we didn't kill each other for real. The muse demo was even more nerve wracking. I put in alot of hours the last 2 weeks fixing my stick form. I was not expecting to be in the muse demo doing stick. I know that was no excuse not to be better prepared. Even when I thought I was ready I wasn't even close. I had learned stick with bad technique and everything looked incomplete and jerky. My stick was my nemesis or so I thought. What I realized was I was my own worst enemy. I let my frustration with my lack of wrist flexibility and my elbow injury( I find out in a couple weeks what I did to it) distract me from putting in an honest and true effort with my stick form. I started down the path to mediocrity, but thanks to Sifu Rybak and Sifu Brinker for believing in me and allowing me the opportunity to switch tracks and show that I could be better and do better then I was. Nothing in Kung Fu has come especially easy for me. But I have not had anything challenge me the way my stick has. Looking back on it, that is a good thing. I have learned to focus better and pay more attention to my training. And to ask for help earlier. I am not ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Heck I have a ton to learn yet so I had better not be. I have to be more honest with myself when I'm struggling and not get into such a deep hole that I can't get out. I can't wait to watch the video from the banguet, just to see how many things I can improve. That's the one thing about practising at home, it's easy to think everything is ok with your form when you can't see yourself. But if you're truly honest with yourself there is always room for improvement. On a side note I am going to substitute kicks for pushups until such time as I get my elbow injury fixed. It is getting worse at times and pushups hurt like heck now. Oh look an opportunity just sprang up, who woulda thunk it. Thanks Sifu Brinker for the way you word things, it sticks with me and I am able to grow, that is definately not something I would have been able to do 3 years ago when I first started this amazing journey.
- Feb 11, 13
I am looking forward to this next year in my journey to become a martial artist. I am a snake, so that's cool to start with. Second I am growing bit by bit, step by step everyday. I am nowhere near where I want to be with my effortless effort. But I am gaining the tools I need to achieve that. It's going to be very wierd to not be an official member of the team this year. But I wont stop what I know is working for me. That means doing my daily situps and pushups(or kicks til my elbow heals). I want to and need to stay engaged in my training. I'm still helping instruct the kids classes. It is so rewarding to me and I am able to give something back to the kwoon that is giving so much to me. The kids inspire me, and motivate me in so many ways. I see my struggles in theirs and share in their triumphs and even their failures. I know I expect to fail at times. I'm human and far from perfect. But to learn and grow from your failures is a far greater gift then vast riches or false praise. Society seems to be driven by the acceptance of mediocrity and the pursuit of wealth or things. To find a place and a group of people who don't want that and are striving for a better self and a better community and better world. Thats the place I want to be. I feel I have found that at Silent River Kung Fu. Thank you Sifu Brinker for unlocking the door and allowing me to begin an amazing journey. Now I just have to make the most of the opportunity and work hard at being a better martial artist each day then the day before.
- Feb 11, 13
I'm editing this post from last week as in my total lack of sleep I managed to send it to my draft folder and not post it. Sorry everyone. Staying up for 37 hours straight was definately not a good thing to do. Just an hour ago my daughter headed out on her first big solo life adventure. She and 20 others in her grade are headed to Quebec city for winter carnival. They will be very busy each day with various activities, from sledding to going to circus school. I'm really glad my wife and I were able to give her this opportunity. It took alot of budgeting and some sacrificing but it was worth it. It's going to be her first airplane flight and her first time away from us for an extended period of time. Part of me is nervous, but mostly I am excited for her. Her dream is to go to Paris someday. I think this experience will only stregthen that dream. We'll be able to facetime with her on my sons ipod. I can't wait to see the expression on her face as she tells us about her first day. The stories she'll be able to share and the sights and culture she'll experience. You can't get that from a book or video. I'll miss her terribly, but at the same time I'll be happy for her.
- Jan 28, 13
This past 4 days have been no fun at all. Been bed ridden with a super bad headcold. Of course this is the worst time of year to get sick, but sick I am nontheless. I think I'm finally on the upswing as it seems to be breaking up a bit and on occasion I can actually smell something. Between my ears needing to pop and not being able to taste or smell properly my head is a ball of mush. I can't wait to feel better. I'm getting in a little training, but little is the optimum word. I hate not following my routine. See you all in the kwoon soon, I hope.
- Jan 23, 13
This past weekends tournament was awesome. I can't thank everyone involved enough for the efforts they put forth to achieve such a great event. The most rewarding part of the day for me wasn't competing in my own events. I knew going in that I was injured and I went into the tournament with it being used as a oppurtunity to grow as a martial artist. I did ok in my events, I know I can do better in the future and I learned that even as calm as I thought I was, nerves still hit me during my hand form. I love doing forms. I found myself tightening up and this caused some balance issues nearer the end of my form. Lesson learned, relax and breath. Let the form flow, and you are never as prepared as you think you are. The highlight of the day for me was talking to all the kids that were competing. Listening to their triumphs and their failures. Not one young student that I talked to was upset that they didn't or hadn't yet won a medal. They were trying their best and having fun. That to me is what the whole tournament is about.I was especially moved by the conversation I had with Mr. Powell, for such a young person to have such a great outlook on life and his place in it. If only I could have had that kind of insight into the world. He is someone to watch in the future as I think he will truly make a huge impact in anything he puts his mind to. Congratulations to all the grand champions. You all inspired me in various ways. The only thing I was a little saddened by was the small amount of adult competitors. To be able to watch the Sihings and Sifus compete was the icing on the cake. Watching how they move and do the forms. Definately shows me where I want to be in a few years. The other thing I wish we could achieve is to have more people stay to watch the final competitions. It is definately a wasted oppurtunity to not go. Now its time to go to bed, I have a headcold that is trying to block my nasal passages like a beaver dam. Lots of good rest should take care of it though.
- Jan 14, 13
I have really been taking a long hard look at this year in the I Ho Chuan. My successes and especially my failures. I totally agree with Sifu Brinker that you can learn so much more from your failures, then you can from your successes. 90% of my sucesses have been of a physical nature this year. I will achieve my pushup goal next week and my situps were done over christmas. I wont stop doing them, they are part of me now. I have had to adjust my pushups with more tricep dips due to my elbow injury, but I am still getting in reps. I have almost doubled my kms goal for the year. Between work and all the jogging I have done this year, that has been a breeze. My flexibility has improved, but I have a long ways to go yet. I expected it would take time and pushing to far, to fast would be a mistake. I got my reading of 12 books done plus a few extra ones. Wher I haven't done as well is the mental side. When I'm running or walking the dog I get my walking meditation in no problem. But I haven't gotten into a proper and consistent routine at home. This is something I will have to work harder on this coming year. The other thing that I noticed this year is that I let my knee injury and elbow injury distract me from my training. I became unfocused and scatter brained. Add in the christmas season and I found myself slipping badly. I have missed a number of classes lately due to meetings for my daughters upcoming trip to Quebec and other family issues. Being a husband/father/martial artist has been extremely demanding of late. I have had increased demands on my time, but no more hours in the day. I have learned the hard way that getting less then 6 hours of sleep a nite for a week straight is not good for my health or mental fitness. I have had to give in various areas at various times to accomplish and meet all my commitments. I am not going to be on the I Ho Chuan team this coming year of the snake and I'm a little depressed about that. I will miss the team immensely. But I also am realistic that I would miss a number of the team commitments and I don't want to let the team down in any way. I will still continue on as if I'm on the team. Doing my requirements and blogging(hopefully more succesfully then this past year). I have gotten so much from these past two years. I am not going to return to the person I was before, that would be truely crazy. I learn so much about myself becoming a martial artist. Things I dont want to admit and others I am proud of. But by becoming more aware of who and what I am, I am growing a little bit everyday. I have managed to push myself past limits that I didn't even know I could reach. Who knew this old fart that was an overweight couch potatoe could become someone who wants to live, breath and yes even ooze kung fu. My passion for kung fu is still growing and I consider that a blessing. It means to me that I have found something I can do for a lifetime and enjoy the entire time. Oh I expect valleys, but I look forward to the view from those hills so much.
- Jan 07, 13
This past 2 weeks have been a blur for me. I was busier during the holidays then I have been at work. Between all my commitments, it seemed like I never had enough hours in a day. Sleep suffered til the last two days before going back to work. Then I forced myself to slow down and get proper sleep. I got alot of projects completed which is good. But didn't get in nearly as much kung fu practise as I wanted. I have been having long talks with my wife about my time commitment to kung fu and my commitment to my family. I need to find a better balance and to learn to really make quality time with them. Ever since the team meeting on saturday I have been going over the year. There is so much to think about and really absorb from a year in the I Ho Chuan. My next post will cover that topic, it's still a work in progress. I did realize that I lost a bunch of my focus and drive leading up to christmas. I let the distractions get to me and I find that I'm not happy about that. It is something I need to work on for the future. I got my pushups, situps and alot of kms in over the break. But the mental aspects of my kung fu suffered alot. I have made alot of gains physically this year, but I realize that without the mental balance, that my true progress will be very limited.
- Dec 17, 12
I have been going over the importance of blogging and what I have heard, learned and now need to embrace about blogging. Blogging is a tool that can be just a hoop for some to jump through, or it can become an amazing tool that really helps you become engaged in what and how you are doing things in your life. It can impact not just your kung fu but also your everyday life if you let it. When you're blogging consistently as a member of the I Ho Chuan, you are connecting with your teammates. By reading and hopefully commenting on each others blogs we are getting insights into our teammates. We see their successes, their hopes, their trials and even their failures. I for one find I can learn from all of that. Being alone struggling through something more often then not sucks. But having a positive minded and supportive team behind you can inspire and motivate in ways you can't do alone. You never know the impact you can have on another by just sharing your journey towards mastery. I have yet to hear of or read of someone who has had an easy road to mastery. Mediocrity is easy to achieve, we see it all around us everyday. But mastery is something worth working towards. It won't happen over nite or even in a month or two. It's a life long journey with many twists turns and sometimes detours along the way. By blogging about what we are going through on our journey we may help another avoid a pit fall or two. We may inspire someone to try something they didn't think they could do before. We can even get a word or two in return that helps us through a difficult time or aspect of our training that we just can't quite figure out. I am finally starting to see what Sifu Brinker means about how much more someone can learn about themselves by overcoming their failures as opposed to just coasting along and not truly stretching our limits and expanding our thoughts. I am not a great writer. Math is my strong suit, or give me something mechanical to fix and I am in there like crazy. When it comes to writing my ideas down I sometimes get to many things going on in my head at once. Blogging has helped me try to put my thoughts and ideas down in such a way that I can make them understood. This helps me focus better. I don't think mastery can be achieved without focus, discipline and definately hard work. If you stay in kung fu for any length of time, you can't be afraid of a little hard work. But achieving the focus and discipline is by no means a piece of cake. Becoming mindful of everything we do and how we impact others. Thats very powerful. How we impact another can have a huge ripple effect, that we often aren't even aware of or can see. But it is there nontheless. I know I have a long ways to go in my journey. But I have alot of teammates and friends at Silent River Kung Fu that are going to make that journey memorable, fun, exciting and very enjoyable. I would rather be in a tiny room full of friends then in a enormous room full of indifferent people anyday.
- Dec 15, 12
When my internet started acting up I started hand writing my blog. Here is the first one I did. My daughter wows me. I often blog about my kids. But I noticed that I do so more about my son then my daughter. We both do alot of the same things together so its easy to focus on his achievements. I started spending some more time with my daughter so we could connect more. She is truly amazing me this year. She loves to sing, dance and act. This fall she has taken on 2 major productions. She is in Horizon stages Aladdin and she got a lead role as Red riding hood in her schools major production of Into The Woods. So now she is rehearsing 4 or 5 days a week. On top of that she wants to do basketball again this year. Tryouts aren't for a month yet and I personally don't think she can do all 3 at once, but my wife and I have left it as her decision. We trust that she can make the right choice. To see the smile on Shelby's(my daughter) face when she got the news that she was in these productions was awesome. She is becoming so much more self confident and believes in herself. Everyone in my family sings well with the exception of myself. I can make it through a toon, but a few cats and dogs may run for their lifes on some notes. Shelbys singing has always been good, this year she is becoming even better. I am so proud of her and happy that she is challenging herself and loving the choices she is making. As a Dad I can't be any happier.
- Dec 15, 12
I first want to apologize to the snake team. By not blogging every week like I should be, I have been a wonderful example of what not to do. But also a terrible teammate and I have definately lost alot of my focus and engagement the last few weeks. I Have no honestly good excuses. It started easy enough with problems with my internet service and computer. But looking back, I had a number of other ways to still get my blog out each week. So I took the easy way and let myself down. Then after a few weeks went by it became less urgent to get back blogging. I fooled myself thinking that just because I was maintaining my pushups, situps etc that I was still fully engaged in my kung fu. I know now that that wasn't the case at all. A large number of distractions have been cropping up in my life lately. The jobsite I'm on is winding down and there is uncertainty about where I go and even when I go to the next site. All the work my company has gotten in the last few weeks is out of town work, meaning that I would be away at least 4 days a week or more. This would severly interfere with everything I am doing in kung fu. It would also put a huge strain on my marriage and I would not be able to spend time with my kids as much as I like to. I know now after a long nite of soul searching and thought. That dealing with all the obstacles that are popping up in my life would have been much easier to deal with if I was blogging like I was before and staying fully engaged in my kung fu and ultimately, myself. I have never been one to share my short comings well. But I am only human and have to admitt that it doesn't show weakness to share your failures or the areas I am needing work in. I have grown so much from the first day I started kung fu. But I have only taken a few steps on a long journey towards mastery and what I believe to be an amazing future in kung fu. It has taken 2 years to finally realize that change can be good. Scary, nerve wracking and unknown sometimes. But change with a goal and focus towards that goal can be empowering and inspiring. It is better by far to be part of a like minded team and not an individual. An individual can get easily moved off their path. But a team can pull you back on track and help you maintain your path. I have realized my failure, now I have to prove I have learned and get back on track.
- Sep 24, 12
My sons grade 5 class is starting a project this year that will extend into all his years in school. They are learning how to blog, comment cratively and positively on other blogs and how to leave a positive electronic footprint in todays day and age. I am really looking forward to seeing how Jordan does with this and hopefully we can inspire each other as we grow in blogging. I think it is a great idea for kids to learn this skill. So often today we hear about one person or another and how they had to withdraw from a contest or political office due to some stupid thing they posted or did in the past. Todays age is so much more fast paced and the world has truly shrunk in size when it comes to the internet. We receive news almost instantly today, whereas in the past it could take months for news of big events to travel the globe. Most issues were considered local and were barely heard about in other areas. Today we hear all about everything and anything in hours and even minutes. The problem I feel is that alot of news today seems to glorify the bad in man as opposed to the good. We instantly hear about mass murders and attacks or suicide bombers. Sadly it seems bad news sells and is watched. Greed and waste are seen as normal and acceptable by todays youth. Commerciallism and the all mighty dollar are more important then feeding our fellow man or doing the right thing. Hopefully by starting today my son can learn to not accept everything as fact just because its on the net like some people do today. I want him to grow up to show a positive example of what it means to be a human being on the planet earth. I hope he can learn right from wrong and fact from fiction. With proper guidance I know he can. Technology has grown and effected our lifes in ways I couldn't even imagine from when I was in grade 5. It is going to continue to do so. Giving our kids more skills now, can only help them in the future. I can even imagine that some day my sons kids will say," You had to use keyboards when you were young?, Wow thats so old school!".
- Sep 14, 12
I saw a quote this week that really got me thinking. It said, "Every single person you meet knows something that you don't". That hit me in a way that got me thinking about opportunities. Every time we meet someone there is an opportunity to learn, grow and influence. In every interaction we have at work, the store and the kwoon, we have an opportunity. Being aware of and making the most of the opportunity is the hard part for most people. It's something that I have finally become more aware of. I am no where near perfect in making the most of my opportunities. But I am becoming more aware of where I am and what I am doing. I believe that is the first step to making the most of the opportunities presented to us every day. The difference between grumbling and complaining about what a hard day we are having or persevering through a tough task with a positive attitude can have a profoundly different impact on the people around us. That impact can then project to even more people as the ones we influenced, encounter even more people. I am not perfect and don't ever expect to be. But I can be mindful of how I am impacting the people I come in contact with daily. Hopefully with practise and patience I can work a positive, helpful, inspiring spirit into everything I do, from my work to my kung fu. Especially my kung fu when I'm helping in the kids classes. A child with a positive outlook, confidence and demenour can be anything they set their mind too. That is truly inspiring to me.
- Sep 03, 12
The past few days have seen very few people turning out to help with the renos at the kwoon. I understand that its the final long weekend before school starts, but the renos are important and we can't resume classes if they aren't complete. I saw so much excitement and energy at the beginning of the renos. The tiling went so quickly and smoothly. It was very inspiring and was awesome connecting with so many people on a more personal level. Then for some reason the excitement and energy really fell off. I want to thank Sifu Lindstrom so much for again leading the renos. He truly has great vision and boundless paitence and energy to see the renos through. Thank you for allowing this wannabe carpenter the chance to grow in my skills and commitment. I don't look at renos as a chore or a duty. I look at them as an oppurtunity to invest myself in the kwoon. I'm proud of my second home and want it to look as awesome as it can. Yes that is a bit of ego, but ego that is good in my mind. How we finish something is as important as how we start, possibly even more so. It's like the I Ho Chuan, starting great full of energy and good intentions is great, finishing great is even more important. Half done means not complete. I would prefer to complete a project as best as I can, then to only complete 50% of a project amazingly then stop and do nothing. I am finally understanding the true definition of commitment and responsibility. Now to take that understanding and apply it, thats the next step.
- Aug 26, 12
I have spent the majority of this year sitting back watching and listening to everything and everyone on the team. Being the lowest level belt on team, it has been hard for me to know when to speak up or even what is appropriate to say. I am leaps and bonds ahead of last years fiasco, but still I am failing because I haven't been a teammate like I should be. I have been inspired by every single member of the team at some point or another. Every single member has gotten me to think about a topic in a way that I would never have done on my own. It is because of the team that I have opened my mind to possibilities that I would surely have missed if I wasn't on the team. But I have internalized most of those aha moments and have not been as supportive a teammate as I should be. That stops now. Everyone on the team and even everyone in the kwoon has influenced me to some degree. I am having the most amazing journey physically right now. I am meeting or exceeding all my goals physically and its because I have seen and heard the message from all my teammates that I could do it. So I said no more excuses and dove facefirst into the pool. Last year I came up with a million excuses to not give my all. This year I want to give my all and more. I could have fallen into the excuse trap, but a comment at a meeting or watching someone struggle with a form would provide that spark that if they could do it, so could I. My failure was to shout it out and return the inspiration. Even those on the team that think they have failed haven't if they can just reconnect with the themselves, the team and the kwoon. Don't wait for next December or next week even. Do it now. Sure it may be rough at first, but you have a team there to help you. We are not alone in our journey as long as we are willing to humble ourselves and ask for the help we all need at some point. My wife asked me last weekend why I do kung fu so much. I wanted to give her the most honest answer that I could and I have really searched my heart and soul for the answer. Its because I am finally becoming the person I always wanted and hoped I would. I am like a child that is finally becoming fully aware of his/her environment and my place in it. I am finally becoming aware of the impact I have on everyone and everything around me. I no longer want to accept mediocre or the so called norm. I want to excell both phsyically and mentally and I want to be a positive influence on the lives I touch. I was 45 years old and 232 pounds when I started kung fu. I was so terribly out of shape when I started that 10 pushups or situps was a real challenge for me. Mentally I was completely messed up. I was definately of the glass is half empty mindset. I was cynical about way to many things in life, and I had no real long term goals other then to keep paying the morgage and provide for my family. Kung Fu has presented me with an oppurtunity to better myself and everyone I encounter along my journey. I am far from perfect and I still mess up. But I have learned to accept that aspect of my growth. Growth is my main goal now. That includes both phsyically and mentally. The physical is progressing better then I would have hoped and I am truly happy about that. The mental growth for me is much more difficult. Seeing the people I am inpired by fail and not pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again frustrates me. It can seed a small kernal of doubt in my mind and I have to work hard at destroying that doubt. Yes each persons journey is their own, but as a member of the I Ho Chuan it is also part of my journey. I am frustrated when I dont know how to help someone on the team. I am even more frustrated when I don't know how to approach a higher belt. That is something I need to learn and improve if I am going to become a true teammate. I have become much more aware and engaged in my own journey, now I need and I think all the team needs to become more engaged in each others journey. Everyone has the potential to become a black belt(Sifu Brinker has stated this many times), but we all need help along the way to achieve that goal. No one can do it alone. Lets show everyone in the kwoon what being a team is all about and finish this year with the roar of a dragon like we started it.
- Aug 13, 12
This past weekend I spent two 12 hour days at the NAIT pool. Both of my kids were swimming in regionals. The top 6 competitors made the finals then the top 2 from the final go to provincials next weekend. Neither Jordan nor Shelby made it to any finals in their solo races. But I was very proud of them for both besting their times by 5 to 10 seconds in every race they swam. Shelbys relay team finished 5th and I was so proud of her for not giving up. She wanted to swim breaststroke but was put in the backstroke position. Not her strongest stroke, but she tried hard nontheless and didn't quit. Jordan got gold in two relays, the IM in which he swam the final leg which was freestyle, and then the freestyle relay on Sunday. Something about being in that energy charged atmosphere really got them going. They were both going around to all their teammates and competitiors wishing them luck and congrats. I asked them on Sunday nite how they enjoyed themselves? They were both positive even though totally pooped out. Up until this weekend, both of them were thinking of not going back into swimming next year. But now both are rethinking it. Jordan has to put in even more practises this week to get ready for provincials. Sadly he'll miss both his Kung Fu classes this week. But he is working hard to help his teammates and improve even more. Jordan is benefitting so much from his Kung Fu. Not only is it a great outlet for all his energy. But the respect and discipline he is learning is really helping him focus. He got excited a few times this weekend. But all I had to do was make eye contact and move my hands and mouth the three rules of concentration and he would come back down and center right away. I know how much Kung Fu is helping me grow as a person and change from a lifestyle of lazing around being a couch potatoe. Its awesome to see the changes it is having on Jordan as well. He inspires me in so many ways, and I don't hesitate to tell him so. Jordan says he watches how hard I work at my Kung Fu, and that inspires him. What may surprise him is that I watch him even more and that motivates me to work even harder. I love that we can work together and grow together. No amount of money can replace our love and the bound we are forming. Btw I do have picture doing pushups at botht he zoo and callaway park. I still need to download them off the camera and then figure out how to post them. I'll figure it out, just may take a bit.
- Aug 05, 12
Yay I moved one stripe closer to achieving my green belt. Just my black stripe to go and then to test. I have been going over all my curiculum(spelling check please) everyday and I am really trying to understand the why, as well as the how of the technigues. Needless to say I am getting more and more little notes all over the place. Sifu Prince has really challenged me lately to put even more of an effort into my kung fu and I am stepping up as best I can. I am far from smooth or flowing at times(usually when I think to much), but I am understanding how my body moves a little bit better. His explanations of techniques really click for me. I learn from both watching and doing. That added verbal explanation can really help me understand even further. My family and I are off to Calgary for four days. Going to the zoo and Callaway park and visiting family. It's going to be more challenging maintaining my structure but if necessary I should be able to get creative. I'll be sure to get pictures doing pushups and post them with my next blog. I hope everyone has a awesome and safe long weekend and I will see you all back in the kwoon on wednesday nite.
- Aug 01, 12
Is it just me or did July pass by in a blur. July is a crazy busy month for me and my family as there are 11 birthdays to celebrate in my family. At one point there were 16, but some of my relatives have passed away, some at an early age. Turning 47 this year got me thinking about where I was when I started Kung Fu. I was 30 pounds heavier, got winded after 2 squat thrusts and was toast after 5 push ups or sit ups. Now I love doing pushups and situps. Squat thrusts are still a challenge but due to all the running I have been doing this summer I am slowly getting better at them. The one thing I'm really happy with is my recovery rate. Before when I got winded or tired it could be 10 minutes or more for me to recover my breath and heartrate. Now I'm ready for more after 30 seconds to a minute. Much much better. I am working hard at building a strong base for my kung fu to grow on. I have so much to learn yet and technigues to work on, but I dont let that tower over me. I take it one day at a time and progress forward. My next goal is my green belt and I am making progress on my last two stripes. I have been an orange belt for a year now, but I look at that as a good thing. Good technigue and flow now, should lead to good power and better technique and flow in the future. The I Ho Chuan team is responding well to the challenges we have been making to each other. But I still want to reach those that have disappeared off the radar. I understand that people have decided not to grade this year. I hope we as a team can inspire and help them get a running start now, not at the start of next year. I truly believe that if they can get going now, by the time next years I Ho Chuan starts they can already be in maintaining mode and have an awesome year. I am far from a perfect person and definately have a ton of growing to do as a martial artist. Being in the I Ho Chuan is no cake walk and I would never want it to be. I know there are goals I'm struggling with and others I may not achieve. But I want to be able to look myself in the miror and be able to honestly say I tried my best to do my best. If you can do that then I believe you have had a successful year.
- Jul 22, 12
Yesterday was completely awesome. I have never sweat so much and enjoyed a day at the kwoon as much as that, except for pandamonium. I was already soaked from fitness class(nothing new there) and then an hour of sparring after that and I felt like I had taken a dip in a swimming pool with my clothes on. Sifu Stoddart really is great at getting us to work our butts off and enjoy it at the same time. I can't recoommend the class enough. All you need to be is positive, enthusiastic, fun loving and willing to sweat buckets in front of others. Even if you're not all those things come out and I bet you will be after a few classes. It has helped with my conditioning enormously. I love sparring with the members of the I Ho Chuan. I get schooled the entire time, but I don't fear being hit or overwhelmed. The control that the Sifus and Sihings have is something to behold. I learn a little bit from every person I spar with. I am able to see things, I just can't always get my body to respond in the correct way to block or strike like I should. I accept that at my level and totally expect it. I am getting more confortable sparring and really working on my level of control. I hope we have many more days like yesterday. I'm sore as heck today, but its a good sore. One that lets me know I worked hard and it was totally worth it. I'm the lowest belt level on the team. But that doesn't mean I have any more excuses or reasons to slack off or not be accountable to myself and the rest of the team. Sometimes being the lowest makes me question myself on how to encourage or help out the rest of the team. I have often noticed others on the team are missing blogging or aren't in class or the kwoon as much as they were at the beginning of the year. I am still struggling with how to approach them. If they aren't attending the same classes I'm in or not showing up at I Ho Chuan practise or missing the meetings, how do you just say "hey, how's it going?". That is something I need to work on and improve. I have been too wrapped up in my own journey this year and I need to be more engaged with the whole team. That is something I will improve on. I failed miserably at last years UBBT. Mostly because I didn't know how to ask for help or how to communicate my failures. I thought I had to be upbeat and positive about everything I was going through. It took a long time for me to get it through my thick skull that it was the struggles that Sifu Brinker was looking for. I have been lucky this year to get a better stucture in place and to set small goals that progressed towards the bigger ones. Not everything is going perfect by any means. My stick and flexibilty being the two big ones. But the biggest thing I learned between last year and this year was to not stop doing what worked and to readjust what wasn't. I have years to go before I even achieve Sihing level. But I can't thank Sifu Brinker and everyone on last years team and this years team for giving me such amazing examples to follow. I'm building a base for myself that I hope will be made out of granite and not the sandstone that was there before I started kung fu.
- Jul 19, 12
This past week was sure a challenge to keep up with my structure, due to the heat. I got lots of walking in, but running, especially with our dog was out. He was suffering much more then I was. I am sure I can sweat standing still in a hot room. So this week was all sticky and icky. I drank tons of water and kept up my structure so very happy to not give in and just not do my training. On Saturday I took my kids to their swim meet in Devon. I managed to bake to a nice medium rare from 7 am til 5:30 pm that day. I was totally blown away by my kids persistance and effort. Jordan won one race and finished in the top 5 in his other 2. Shelby got a 7th, an 8th and a 9th. What made me very proud of her was that she didn't quit. She was getting over a head cold and was very tired. She even said to me that there were a few times she wanted to stop, but she didn't and finished every race. I can't ask more then that they try their best and not give up. At the end of the day they both ended up on 2 relay race teams. They weren't expecting it and it was a bit choatic as the teams were formed last minute but again they tried hard and didn't quit. I surprised them with large slurpees on the way home. I really missed not being at fitness class or open training. But I got to spent an awesome day with my kids and that is so rewarding to me. I did get in lots of pushups and situps. Even though people thought I was nuts doing them in the heat.
- Jul 08, 12
I was surprised how many people missed the I Ho Chaun meeting this week. I always get so much from every meeting, that I don't want to miss one. I am inspired by everyones triumphs and failures. For anyone to be able to admitt in public to a room full of their peers that they are struggling, really helps me to relate and get to know someone. Just the shear courage it can take is inspiring. But the biggest thing for me at my level and where I am in my Kung Fu is those aha moments that I go, I had feelings like that. Or that is where I was heading. I am very far from perfect and I have a long and big journey ahead of me, just to achieve my black belt. But achieve it I will. By being with so many amazing, positive and honest human beings, I can't help but grow. We are all human, we hurt, we cry, we fail, we procastinate. But we also heal, laugh, overcome and renew ourselves. I have learned to embrace the little progressions more dearly then the big ones. I have learned to listen with my whole being and not just pay partial attention. I am learning to push myself further then I thought I could go and to not let small obstacles stop my progress. Even moving sideways is progress, only in a different direction. I am learning how to achieve structure in my life that will enable me to progress to the goals I set myself. But the biggest thing I am learning is to live in the moment. To be aware of myself, my actions and how I am impacting everyone I come in contact with. I have so much learning to go and to put into action. But even up until a year ago I would have let the fear of failure or the realization of just how much more there is to go, stop me in my tracks. I would probably have done nothing to avoid it. Because I didn't know how or was even aware that I had stopped. I think I finally get that failure is ok. As long as you learn from it, get back up and try again in a slightly different direction. Alot of what I have learned is from what everyone talks about at the meetings. If I didn't attend the meetings I would be nowhere near where I am today. I am constantly in awe of the amount of knowledge, courage, humility and inspiration that is available to all the students of Silent River Kung Fu. I hope I can embrace all of it even more on my road to becoming a true martial artist.
