Jenna

Hi guys, my sincerest apologies for how mind-numbingly boring and basically nonexistent my blog has been over the last week. I was in San Francisco and rightly enjoying my time with my friends, good food and copious amounts of alcohol, instead of staring at my computer screen any longer than was necessary.

However, I’m back now and I’ve missed you. I really, really have. I even went back through the 100+ pages of things I missed on my Tumblr dashboard last night - though, to be honest, I stopped paying attention to a lot of the content and just stared at the pretty pictures after about 5 pages.

It’s good to be back.

Such a beautiful way to welcome me home, Los Angeles. I love you too.

By Mr. Octavious

[via hrrrthrrr]

And now I’ve finished this book.

I’ve actually owned it since it first came out, because I find Kelly Cutrone endlessly fascinating. I’d be lying if I said that I loved The Hills or even The City. It’s not that I hate these television shows and I certainly understand why some people might find them entertaining. I even think that Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port seem very cute and sweet! But I digress, the television shows just happen to bore me to no end.

Ms. Cutrone, on the other hand, is feisty and intelligent and successful, which I love. She also seems to have a good heart. Anyway, Ms. Jaclyn wrote a great review of this book a few days ago, which reminded me that it was sitting in a large pile of books on my nightstand and I picked it up after finishing Discreet Pleasures last night. I loved it. I just finished it and I want to read it again. Not only are Kelly’s personal stories incredibly interesting, but her ability to impart her experiences and her lessons learned to the benefit of any woman reading about them is appealing and engaging. It’s self-help without being cloying or obnoxious. She’s a smart woman and she treats her readers as such.

Jaclyn’s review is great and I’d be reiterating everything she said if I tried to write my own, so if you’re interested in hearing more, read here.

I started and finished reading this book today: The Discreet Pleasures of Rejection by Martin Page.

I really liked it and I’d like to tell you all about why I liked it, so you might be encouraged to pick it up, read it and get some pleasure out of it as well, but I think I might make for a really bad reviewer of books.

I don’t really know how to tell you why I liked it. I just did. Often I enjoy things (books, music, art, whatever) that most other people find cheesy or obnoxious or abhorrent, simply because they make me feel good at that particular time in my life. If it makes me smile, if it makes me laugh, if it makes me think, if it makes me more self-aware or, at the very least, forces me to self-examine - chances are I’ll like it.

But, with this book, I think it’s fair to say it’s not cheesy or obnoxious or abhorrent, so I think I’ll be safe in saying that you might enjoy it as much as I did. It’s not very long and it follows the self-psychoanalysis of an early thirtysomething man living in Paris after he is dumped by a woman on his answering machine…whom he is sure he has never met.

It’s an odd-seeming premise, I know - but the book was funny and thoughtful all at the same time and really, the perfect read for this rainy Saturday.

Kid Cudi: “Highs N Lows”

[via:caryrandolph]

Once, I wrote a blog post about creativity for this blog. It has yet to be published, so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say I am pro-creativity and pro-working past a fear of failure, even if your creativity isn’t all that splendid.

Here is some creative encouragement.

Also, I am so in love with Ira Glass.

wrong prayer // jay z vs. radiohead [ via influent:fencehopping:texturism ]

A small sampling of my Tumblr mosaic…

I mean, haven’t we all wanted to do this?

…

No? Party of one?

[via veronicalovesarchie:idonttext:certainties]

Do it. I have lots of room!

My baby brother and the 1st grade class that also adopted him.

Good morning! Happy Monday! Here’s some straight up adorable to start your week off right :)

A group of preschoolers “adopted” my brother while he’s overseas. They pray for him daily and send him care packages filled with letters and goodies.

This prayer was my favorite. I couldn’tve said it better myself :)

Your Love, The Outfield

Just wrote a significant portion of my essay to this bad boy. Entertaining and inspiring. You’re welcome.

Good Music + Beer = One Kickass Grad School Application Essay

-Slapstick, Vonnegut

[via emilyrose]

lexual:

Naturally, I was voting on what picture Jenna should make as her new facebook profile pic and my vote was for this one… I mean LOOK at her bewbs, people!!

So Jenna shows this picture to her Mom who replies, “……it’s kinda porno.” [scrunchy face!]

Yup.

It’s true. Moms did say this. Followed by, “But you still look cute!”

Porno cute. Thanks, mom.

Oh, okay, I take it back. Los Angeles, California!

Um, what? Super sketch, Anonymous.

This is Layla. She is a beautiful little girl in Houston TX. Her heartbreaking story is below and I have included a link to her blog. Her family is really struggling right now so if you are feeling up to it and want to leave them a comment or a msg on twitter (@laylagrace), I am sure they would appreicate the prayers and good vibes.

This is an exerpt from the ‘about’ section of her blog www.laylagrace.org.

Layla had a great 15 month checkup. At around 16 months her sleep habits and appetite started to change and she started to become more irritable. Mid March appetite began to decrease. At the time we thought we were dealing with a “picky eater”. Beginning of May Layla woke up one morning with a swollen eye. We took her to the doctor and she was treated for an ear infection and the doctor said the swelling was just a result of the ear infection. At the same time we noted that her belly was hard and somewhat distended. She had not had a bowel movement for a few days and we were concerned that she was becoming constipated.

The next day we took her to the pediatrician who put her on Mirilax over the weekend and told us to call back Monday. By Monday morning she was not eating at all, still no dirty diaper, her activity level had decreased and was rubbing her belly and lower back and saying “owie”.

Our pediatrician referred us to a GI specialist to see why she was so constipated and wasn’t eating. On Thursday May 7th as we sat in GI specialists office expecting to be told that Layla would need some kind of treatment for constipation we instead hear words like “Cancer” and “Leukemia”. A series of X-rays and tests were ordered and we were sent home to wait on the results.

That evening about five minutes after we walked in the door we got an urgent call from the GI specialist telling us that the test results were in, that things were not good and that we were to bring Layla into the ER immediately and that a team of doctors would be waiting for us.

Layla has a massive cancerous tumor (Stage 4 Neuroblastoma) in her abdomen. It extends from above her left kidney, around her side, over her belly and wraps around her aorta. In addition, the cancer is in her bone marrow.

Our sweet Layla went from normal happy and healthy to lethargic, in pain, and skin and bones in a matter of a week and a half.

[via allthingsalishan]

allthingsalishan:

Things that make me happy # 1

1. Jenna

2. The fact that Jenna and her mommy ate chain food restaurant food with me before going to see the young one

3. See # 1

:D

• Conflict
• Confrontation
• Fights of any kind

Goddamn if they don’t make me nervy.

Lola, the guard pup, barking at our next door neighbors. And probably some leaves too. She guards against it all.

- [redacted]

[via graceinsmallthings]

GPoYW - “I bought raffle tickets the length of my wingspan and STILL didn’t win a beer koozie :(” Edition

Kevin Bleyer, I Love You, Nice to Meet You

Well, this just makes me laugh.

We’re good for each other’s self-esteem.

I have a crick in my neck today. And for a brief moment I thought, “Wouldn’t it be convenient to be dating a masseuse right now?”

And then I thought, “No, he probably wouldn’t want to massage my crick after a long day of massaging other people’s cricks.”

And I continued on: “Wouldn’t it be nice to date a man who has a passion for masseusery, but still holds a day job and just massages for fun? I wonder if such a man exists.”

My thoughts, people, I tell ya.

Today was a bad day and I can’t really pinpoint why, but I suspect it’s mostly because I am being a whiny, snivelly-nosed little brat.

Because actually today was a good day. I got my federal tax refund, which was substantial and lovely. Also, I found out that I passed the CBEST (!!!), which is a huge weight off my shoulders and now I simply need to apply and get into a teaching credential program.

But I was just bummin’ all day and I can’t really even figure out why.  I suppose one reason might be that I kept completing little tasks for various projects, but in so doing, never seemed to get a lot done.

And also, I am dating right now. And sometimes, dating can be real fun and other times, it can just be super frustrating, and I think that I would either just like to be in a relationship or be single and skip the in between. Wait, I don’t sometimes think that – I always think that. It’s also been my experience that it’s rare to meet a gentleman who feels the same way.

Additionally, I am just a little dirtball today. I never did take a shower this morning, what with my plethora of tiny, useless tasks to complete and you know how it is when you don’t shower – no matter how much you accomplish in that given day, you’re still a ‘lil bum with greasy hair.

And finally, a sizable hole ripped directly under the backside of my absolute favorite pair of jeans as I sat down to finish some more little tasks at 6pm. And I’m still wearing them, because the rest of my family can stomach having to see a bit of my butt cheek and also, I can’t bear to take them off and throw them in the trash make them into Daisy Dukes, but mostly it makes me sad that I’ll never really be able to wear them in public again.

In summation, I really have no reason to complain. Life is good, and if I think about it rationally (which I actually don’t feel like doing; I’d rather drink some red wine and keep sulking), today was a perfectly fine day. I just didn’t feel that it was fine and thus felt like complaining. And now that I’ve complained, I feel a bit better. And actually, I think I’ll go take a shower now.

chuleta says no one is going to play joanna fucking newsom on her turntable and she will cancel the goddamn book club meeting if she has to

[photo via hipsterpuppies:eva x]

‘90’s Party!

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Nicki Minaj rap.

So much love.

Eco Illustration (via Khuan Cavemen Co:vizualize)

Oh, not to worry. He hasn’t lost his sense of humor.

The other day I told a man that laughter, that laughing together, was one of the most romantic things two people could do. And it is! It’s true - I love laughter.

—-

Your Laughter

My love, in the darkest

hour your laughter

opens, and if suddenly

you see my blood staining

the stones of the street,

laugh, because your laughter

will be for my hands

like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,

your laughter must raise

its foamy cascade,

and in the spring, love,

I want your laughter like

the flower I was waiting for,

the blue flower, the rose

of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,

at the day, at the moon,

laugh at the twisted

streets of the island,

laugh at this clumsy

boy who loves you,

but when I open

my eyes and close them,

when my steps go,

when my steps return,

deny me bread, air,

light, spring,

but never your laughter

for I would die.

- Pablo Neruda

Two second convo with the kid!

I’ll take what I can get :)

“I still have no idea what the fuck I’m going to write about. God dammit, why didn’t I schedule my meeting for Friday?” - amberl

But you know what’s interesting?  (Dramatic Pause)…You just wrote that.

Sincerely,

Your Cool, Unconventional Teacher Who Gets You To Accidentally Learn Things

(via tomoatmeal)

The Cool, Unconventional Teacher Who Gets You to Accidentally Learn Things = My Inspiration

• I almost burnt the kitchen down by leaving my toast in the toaster oven for too long. To the point where it was on fire and flames were leaping out the door. Wicked awesome.
• I signed on to AIM for the first time in God knows when and my high school boyfriend began chatting me up like it hadn’t been a good two plus years since we’d last spoke. And suffice it to say, we didn’t end our last conversation on the nicest of terms. I guess we’re over it now?
• I got my state tax return. This actually is wicked awesome.
• I have a sore throat. I was just sick like two weeks ago. What the hell, universe?
• I got a good deal of my grad application work completed, minus the actual application since the website through which I must apply has been down all damn day.
• I found my college student ID which means that not only can I finally use my student ID number to order old transcripts and Official Attendance & Degree Verifications (how those two things are different, I don’t know), but I can finally get the sweet student discount at the movies again! Holla.

My mom kept little booklets of mementos and awards and stories we’d written as my brother and I were growing up. They were separated by the grades we were in at that particular time, and when those little booklets were filled to the point that they were literally bursting at the seams, she began keeping our various accolades in our very own three-ring binders.

I’ve been working on grad school applications and, in so doing, have begun rifling through some of these things, not only to remember my small accomplishments throughout college, but to gather some idea of where and why my love for teaching first started. In the process, I have come across some gems.

The first, a story for me from my Kindergarten/1st grade best friend, Jana Ricke:

Me and My Best Friend

My best friends name is Jenna. We play alot togather. She is funny and nice. We never fight. Rachel dosn’t like us thow. And we don’t like her. She is the nicest friend I ever had and her little sister. I only have a little time so see you later.

Guss who?

And here are Jana and I, being funny and nice and just generally not liking Rachel:

And finally, of all the awards I’ve been awarded in my academic career, the award I received in my 8th grade Bible class - an award chosen by my fellow students - is my absolute favorite:

The “All That and a Bag of Chips” Award

Today was a generally good day, but still I was stressed out. I can’t pinpoint why. I think it mostly has to do with my brother. I miss him. I worry about him. I can’t keep explaining to people what it feels like or expecting them to struggle to find ways to make me feel better. And even then, when I do talk about it, I don’t want to talk about it anymore, because I can’t change the situation. It’s the helplessness I feel, the lack of control over everything and a complete inability to protect him from this very real danger that is driving me insane.

As of yesterday, we hadn’t heard from him in a week, which I suppose is completely normal given the situation, but which was also making me sick with worry. He called my mom last night though, which is great because he’s safe, but really doesn’t provide much consolation other than that. She said that his voice was flat, he couldn’t tell her anything (where he was, what he’s doing) and he just seemed so emotionless. Sure, this should be a relatively normal tone for someone who’s currently fighting a war in Afghanistan, but if you know my brother, if you’ve ever seen how crazy, over-the-top, silly and outgoing and funny and wonderful he is, it’s really hard to imagine him as this cold, emotionless person.

I hope that he’s not that way. I hope that in spite of everything I know he’s witnessing and is doing, that part of him will remain a fun-loving, happy kid. I think maybe that may be too much to ask. But I also think that maybe I may be reading too much into one phone conversation (which I didn’t even hear), where any number of things could’ve just been bringing him down at that particular moment. I do wish things were different though. I do wish I could be more hopeful, more confident that everything will work out alright.

Valentine’s Day flowers from my baby brother.

Mom sure did raise a good man.

Love Song, 311

Happy Valentine’s Day!

My little Lola’s such a lush.

This whole being back in high school business* is really taking a toll on my sleeping in.

My alarm clock feels my pain.

*I’ve been doing classroom observations at my alma mater for the last two weeks, in preparation for my teaching credential program. I had forgotten how brutally (and unnecessarily, I think) early high school classes start :-/

Way back when (like way back in prehistoric times when I still blogged on Blogspot), I posted about how I would be participating in NaNoWriMo, also known as National Novel Writing Month.

Oh what lofty goals I had!

It’s been nearly two years since I made such a bold proclamation and, while I’ve written a lot, I’ve gotten nowhere near writing the next Great American Novel. A lot has changed in those two years though and I have a lot more time to myself now and thus, I’m starting to talk a big game again.

I will be writing a novel in one month.

Not during the official NaNoWriMo, which takes place in November of every year. I will, in fact, be writing my novel next month (as I’ll be done with grad school applications and I just feel like it) and one of the first helpful suggestions from NaNoWriMo founder, Chris Baty, is to tell people about it so they can hold you accountable and/or encourage/mock you. And who better to tell than all of you?

So here is my public declaration*:

I hereby pledge my intent to write a 50,000-word novel in one month’s time. By invoking an absurd, month-long deadline on such an enormous undertaking, I understand that notions of “craft”, “brilliance”, and “competency” are to be chucked right out the window, where they will remain, ignored, until they are retrieved for the editing process. I understand that I am a talented person, capable of heroic acts of creativity, and I will give myself enough time over the course of the next month to allow my innate gifts to come to the surface, unmolested by self-doubt, self-criticism, and other acts of self-bullying.

During the month ahead, I realize I will produce clunky dialogue, cliched characters, and deeply flawed plots. I agree that all of these things will be left in my rough draft, to be corrected and/or excised at a later point. I understand my right to withhold my manuscript from all readers until I deem it completed. I also acknowledge my right as author to substantially inflate both the quality of the rough draft and the rigors of the writing process should such inflation prove useful in garnering me respect and attention, or freedom from participation in onerous household chores.

I acknowledge that the month-long, 50,000-word deadline I set for myself is absolute and unchangeable, and that any failure to meet the deadline, or any effort on my part to move the deadline once the adventure has begun, will invite well-deserved mockery from friends and family. I also acknowledge that, upon successful completion of the stated noveling objective, I am entitled to a period of gleeful celebration and revelry, the duration and intensity of which may preclude me from participating fully in workplace activities for days, if not weeks, afterward.

Signed,

Jenna N.B., February 10, 2010

Novel Start Date: March 1, 2010

Novel Deadline: March 31, 2010

*Taken from Chris Baty’s “No Plot? No Problem! A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days”

Update!

I took the second of my two teacher credentials preparation tests last Saturday and I actually think I did a lot better than I was expecting. I didn’t study nearly as much as I would’ve liked to, but I think my natural inclination towards, and love for, both Reading and Writing helped me nail those sections. Then, shockingly, all of this buried high school algebra knowledge seemed to unearth itself during the test as well. I have a good feeling about the whole thing and I am keeping my fingers crossed that I passed :)

Also, got my scores back for the first test I took, the CSET: English, back in early January, on Monday - I passed all four subtests! I can’t tell you how much this thrills me, because I definitely didn’t leave that test feeling great about my performance and now I don’t have to take any of the tests again! I’m hoping I experience the same good fortune with this second test.

I just bought this journal, for when I do my IRL (not on a keyboard) writing :)